The IrREFutable Magazine 4 May 2021

AN OFFICIALS PERSPECTIVE May 2021

There

isn’t one road down this referee journey. The only way to embark on this crusade is to embrace the landmines and potholes. You are guaranteed to encounter countless hiccups that will force you into hands over face shoulder bopping cry. The IrREFutable Magazine was designed with those stories in mind. We wanted raw referee stories, human stories beyond the playing field. Our goal is to highlight officials aligned with our core values: empathy, compassion, an entrepreneurial spirit, and the freedom to create something that can impact other people’s lives. Each of these stories speaks to our faith in the future, and I’m excited to share them with you. Please keep your eyes on The IrREFutable Magazine in the coming year for other signs of resilience and renewal because whatever changes 2021 may hold, one thing remains constant, our dedication to this field we share.

Sleepy

“You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside and hustle for your worthiness.”

-Brené Brown

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On the Cover

May 2021

What’s inside

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Chinese/ Jamaican Fusion An interview with Marlon Wong

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Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month

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Being Wrong, Not Being Good Enough, and Being OK

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Greetings from London!

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Tell A Com, Tell A Prompt, Tell A Ref

A Mental Health Journey

An Interview with Stephanie Barksdale

Follow us on Instagram @theirrefutablemag

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The Wormely Whistles Kills Germs

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Comics & More Comics

Lounge Around

Also on pages 15, 22, 43, 48, 49

An Interview with Stanley Wormely

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Follow us on Instagram @theirrefutablemag

Issue 4

May 2021 Staff

Kevin Sparrrock

Art Director

Kevin Sparrock

Mental Health Awareness Month

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Travel Apps

Photography & Illustrations Editorial Contributing Asha P. Sparrock This publication took a lot of time and effort to put together so please respect it! Nothing in this publication can be reproduced in whole or part without the written permission of the editorial team.

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An interview with Marlon Wong

By Kevin Sparrock

It

was a Jamaican Chicken and Pumpkin Soup that made my wife ask Marlon Wong where he was from. I was assisting him with some tape breakdown, and in return, he shared a dish that his Dad made. My wife is a Brooklyn, New York kid who had her fair share of some authentic Jamaican dishes. One sip, and she was hooked.

I remember being embarrassed about my assumptions on who this young man is.

Marlon’s outside shell presented about a 5 foot 9 inches thin-framed Asian man. If you were unaware of what Marlon looked like and heard him speak, you could pick up a significant dialect associated with Patois. This is a reminder to never judge a book by its cover.

It was a conversation about Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month that sparked our discussion for this month’s issue. Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month is a celebration in May that recognizes the contributions and influences of Asian Americans and Pacific Islander Americans in the United States.

Marlon will be entering his third season and is still very new to the officiating world.

His love for the sport has inspired him to develop and design ‘I Am Official’. A casual referee t-shirt line with creative slogans for the everyday official in mind. From the beginning, I dug his concepts and his individual purpose. We connect to discuss basketball, representation, and heritage.

Kevin Sparrock: Let’s talk about your officiating journey. How did you get started, and what did it look like?

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When people ask me where I’m from or my background, I say Chinese-Jamaican.

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Marlon Wong: It started out as an on-campus job. While I was in college doing intramural sports. I got into it because a buddy of mine or a classmate of mine was working, and I just needed some pocket change, and sports is what I know and love.

I’m good at basketball in particular. I only refereed flag football and basketball while I was there. Basketball just seemed easier to me. It was indoors in the gym, and I knew the game of basketball. I knew football too, but I didn’t know a lot of the rules.

I actually had to learn the hand signals and stop with the flags and the different line judges. What was worse for me, when it came down to wintertime or early January in Gainesville, I couldn’t take the cold. I’m an island boy. So, that cold is no joke. Like when your cleats are seeping into that cold grass. That’s wasn’t for me.

So, you worked intramural sports where?

Marlon: At the University of Florida. I was born and raised in Miami. Kendall, Florida.

How long have you been officiating?

Marlon: If you consider when I started intramurals. I did that in the spare time. I’d say 2011ish—something like that.

So, you’re saying a good 13 years in total.

Marlon: I never thought about it like that, but yeah. This is my second year in Division 1. I broke into college and the summer of 2016. So that 2016-2017 season.

Any inspirations or people who pushed you forward?

Marlon: Not, in particular. I just thought it was always interesting. It was kinda a new level of intrigue every time I kind of went somewhere new. So, for me, it started out as fun. I knew some people took it while I was at UF, more seriously. I wish I would have taken it a little bit more seriously. I didn’t realize the resources I had. I had Steve Anderson heading the intramurals for us in Gainsville. (Steve worked the NBA and Division 1 college ball.) John Broska did colleague ball as well. And we actually learned three-person mechanics in intramurals. I came from a really good tree. And then it wasn’t until I went to the first college camp that I realized that there’s a different level

Like everybody thinks, I’m supposed to be like a 6.0-grade average student.

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to this. You have these D1 guys and these professional guys that are your clinicians.

And the thing that wowed me the most is when they do the role-play scenarios. They asked what we would have done in this scenario or play, and they just go, boom, boom, boom. They’re reciting rules, and it’s smooth, and it’s clean. It’s like, damn, now I see why they make the big bucks. That camp right there kinda made me think I could really do this further than just a hobby.

Which camp was this?

Marlon: The camp was the Twin Sons camps. So, it was my NAIA supervisor, Freddie Williams. Fred and Nolan’s camp. They had a bunch of really good clinicians.

How do you identify yourself? Heritage, background?

Marlon: The short answer? When people ask me where I’m from or my background, I say Chinese/ Jamaican. If I want to get really technical and specific, I will throw Tahitian in there. This is funny because I didn’t really know that. I didn’t know it was Asian American and Pacific Islander month because my grandmother on my Dad’s side; she’s Tahitian, she’s Chinese, but there’s a lot of Asians over there. Like Hawaiian and Polynesia. So, both of my parents are Chinese, Jamaican. My Mom was born in Jamaica and raised there until about seven years old. She’s the oldest of four, and then they moved to England. But my grandmother ended up moving back to Jamaica after her kids were older. So, as long as I’ve been born, my grandma has always been in Jamaica. My Mom’s side. My Mom still has family there and stuff like that. My Dad is number 10 out of 11 kids. The first five were born in Tahiti.

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Being a light-skinned black man, I always get the question, who in your family is white?

Marlon: Yeah, I get; who is Chinese, who’s Jamaican? So my Mom is a little bit darker than my Dad’s side, but like on my Dad’s side, the first five kids are born into Tahiti.

Then they move back to Jamaica. The other six were born in Jamaica.

So, it sounds like you spent a lot of summers in Jamaica?

Marlon: I did at first growing up, but it kinda slowed down a little bit. The only people left in Jamaica were on my Mom’s side. My Mom’s side isn’t as big as my Dad’s family. They all moved up. Everyone’s very tight. Very combative too, but very tight-knit.

There’s no way it can be a sane household if you have 11 children.

Who inspired you? Any Asian-Americans in the officiating world that inspired you in this path?

Marlon: No, Not really. I didn’t even really look at it like that. When you say representation, I didn’t see it? I barely saw Asian basketball players. First of all, I thought I was going to be the first Asian Michael Jordan, but that’s neither here nor there. So that was what I wanted to be at heart was a basketball player first. I got into officiating because it was a side job, but I love basketball. Once I had finished high school, in the summer, I would go back to help coach at the basketball camps that I use to go to. I had pretty much grew up in the summer at basketball camps. At camp, you make good friends. You know, and I’ve always been good with kids. So anything to stay around the game. I’ve always tried to stay around the game somehow, in some capacity.

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What is your truth? With coaches and players and partners, is there an assumption on how you should be and how you should act?

Marlon: Yeah, That’s just generally in life. Like there’s a reason why there are stereotypes. I think, I mean, right, wrong, or indifferent. Like there’s a reason why there are stereotypes and people cast certain, I guess, expectations on people. Like everybody thinks, I’m supposed to be like a 6.0-grade average student. You know, things like that, which is fine. And I would say the uniqueness for me in my point of view when dealing with that type of stuff is that being Chinese and being Jamaican in particular, I’ve noticed and, I’ve found that it’s a very honest and kind of blunt culture.

Very caring, giving, and family and all that other good stuff. When you’re in Jamaica, people call you by what you look like or what you are like. Some might take offense to that, especially nowadays. Like in Jamaica, it’s very common for them to do like, ‘Yo Mr. China man’ or ‘Yo Mr. Chin.’ They call you by what you look like. And I don’t take offense to it. It is what it is. Yes, I’m Chinese. Thank you. It’s what you look like. But they’ll also call everybody ‘Miss Chin’ or ‘Mister. Lee’ and my last name is Wong. But I’m not going to take the time to tell every person my name is Wong.

So, I think just in general, we all have stereotypes based upon how we look, our culture, or what people perceive us. One of the things that I noticed in basketball and in officiating if they don’t know me or know my game, I’m more than likely probably going to be the last pick. Just because I’m a short Asian kid. I believe all they think I can probably do is shoot. Right. They might not think I’m that faster or can handle or whatever the case might be. The same thing I’ve noticed in officiating is that if they don’t know me as an official or are they don’t even know my partners, and we’re all on the same level. Depending on what my partners look like or where they’re from, they’re going to come to me. I always felt as if they would get on me a lot quicker and a lot sooner. Maybe, one, just to try and test me to see if I’d fold. Sometimes you referee these adult leagues somewhere; where you don’t look like them, they’re going to try and see what you are about.

Coming from New York City, Adult leagues and Pro leagues can be real cofrontational. Have you ever had one of those sticky moments in your career?

Marlon: Yeah, I did. And it took everything me not to react, but it’s one reason why I kinda had to dial back refereeing adult leagues in particular.

What makes you keep showing up?

Marlon: I just, I love the game basketball. Really and truly. And I just want to be better at the game. I’d be lying if I said financially; it doesn’t help either. So there’s

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definitely income respect to it. But I also know that the better I get, the more income I have a chance of making. I enjoy working on my game to improve my game. It’s also a cool occupation. So when people ask, what do you do? Oh, I’m a teacher, I am an accountant. I’m a doctor. I’m a lawyer. I’m a referee. People are like, ‘What do you referee’? I’d say, like high school and college basketball. It’s something a little off the beaten path for most people. So, I kinda like that.

Going back to the question about biases. How can we change the narrative? Can you think of anything that you feel we can change?

Marlon: As an official, like I don’t have something off the top of my head. Everybody supports differently. Some people are more front lines active. Some people are more behind the scenes. However, If I can help with money, resource finances, or just, you know, speaking up for somebody if you see somebody doing wrong. That’s one way.

I would say. I would say it helps to have representation, and we’re all fighting for that, but I believe that my uniqueness or my heritage and me being a minority, I think it also helped me get a look. Whereas maybe other people might get overlooked. If you’re the best man or woman for the job, if you’re just as qualified, you should get the position. I don’t doubt that my being a little different from everybody else might help me get a look. Obviously, I have to perform and produce, but it helps in a lot of aspects.

So, I’m not really the type to say this isn’t fair because I know it helps me in some ways too. At the end of the day, I wouldn’t trade being what I am for anything. I love my culture. Especially the food.

A willingness to put others before yourself, whether you think its important or not.

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APPAREL WITH A CALLING! GO TO INSTAGRAM@IAMOFFICIALAPPAREL

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Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month is a time in May to recognize the contributions and influence of Asian and Pacific Islander Americans to the history, culture, and achievements of the United States.

In the U.S., the representation of Asian Americans in the officiating ranks is almost non-existent. This month we want to highlight two officials: Kevin Mar and Evan Scott, briefly. Kevin Mar is the first Asian American football Referee to work for the Pac-12 Conference. He joined the Pac-12 Conference starting in 2017. Before joining the Pac-12, Mar was a Referee in the Mountain West Conference from 2014-2016.

Born in South Korea, Evan Scott is in his first season as a full-time NBA official. He worked as a non-staff official during the 2018-19 season and officiated three seasons in the NBA G-League, where he refereed the 2019 Finals. He has five years of collegiate officiating experience.

This month let’s celebrate their achievements in officiating. We look forward to seeing more representation in the future. Eliminate the first!

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Being Wrong, Not Being Good Enough, and Being OK

A Mental Health Journey

An Interview with Stephanie Barksdale

By Kevin Sparrock It was the death of Bonita Spence that made me evaluate my mental health in this officiating world. A New Jersey native, Bonita officiated games in the NCAA tournament and the WNBA. She was the first all-female crew to officiate at a men’s professional basketball game in the United States Basketball League (USBL). Bonita also worked at the public defender office in Newark, New Jersey. If you were involved in the referee community, you knew or knew of Bonita Spence. I remember her working at the Nike Pro-City in New York City and at Branchbrook park league in East Orange, NJ, when I was a pup in the game. Branchbrook park was one of the toughest professional leagues that didn’t have a baseline or a non-smoking section. It was one of those city tournaments that made you question your purpose in officiating.

The fans came from neighborhoods at war to watch the best talent in the community, and Bonita commanded those players as if she raised them herself. When she had an issue with a player, she had no problem calling them out by name. At one point, I assumed Bonita knew everyone’s parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and siblings in the Tri-State area. I am always thankful for Bonita in my life. She was hard on me.

Sometimes I couldn’t stand her for pushing me so hard. She would say, “Kevin, You have to worry about me when I stop screaming at you. Then you know I don’t care”.

On Sept 15, 2013, Bonita C. Spence took her life. I never saw it coming.

In this pandemic year, Stephanie Barksdale did a presentation for BBall Officials Group on Mental Health. I remember Stephanie as she started this officiating journey.

We always discussed how everyone’s journey is different and how you manage your energy was important. Although very young in this officiating community, she’s had some incredible success. She just completed her seventh season in the Division 1 Women’s basketball and is in her third year in the NBA’s G-league.

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Bonita Spence 1961-2013

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I was thankful she took the time to continue the conversation surrounding mental health at a later date. We realized we shared some similar issues of doubt, frustration, and at times, hopelessness. She disclosed that she struggled with depression and dyslexia. We became very transparent about our struggles to keep it together mentally, and during that call, we brought up Bonita.

Stephanie: I think the first thing for me is to acknowledge Bonita Spence. One of the things I had to take away from Bonita’s passing is that she was ill, and I never knew Bonita to be ill. I knew Bonita to be an encouraging and brassy personality. She just could walk into any court, Arena, and gym and take over. The first time I met her, she didn’t introduce herself to me. I’m in New Jersey doing some AAU tournament games, and somebody walked past the court and said, “When you’re in Jersey, you need to use National Federation mechanics,” And she walked off. Fast forward maybe 2-3 years afterward, we’re at Penn State for summer referee camp, and I’m on game 35 and I’m exhausted. Bonita says to me sitting on the baseline in this fold-up chair, “Did you come out here to sashay and model? Because if so, you need to give your shirt to somebody else who is ready to referee.” And I was offended, tired, mad, and annoyed. Like who is this? Long story short, she introduced herself after the game. I didn’t even know there was an observer on the game. You never know who’s watching.

It sounds like the beginning of the “you never know who’s watching” lesson.

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Mental Health Awareness Month

Stephanie: Bonita was one of those persons I appreciated because she was going to get you together. At times, we can take offense to that, but we also have to look within ourselves to see what we are doing that puts us out of alignment. This is why I needed to be transparent with what I was going through. I never knew Bonita to be ill, and I think we do a great job or were taught to do a good job of putting on a façade.

And our truth, our authenticity is programmed that we won’t be accepted, or liked, or not enough, however you want to label it and that one of the reasons I thought it was important for me just to talk about this more often.

I’ll also want to start with how I got here and being an advocate for mental health and sports. To be honest, I had experienced prior to Bonita, but I didn’t have the language or a full understanding of why as a player, I might have missed a free throw and couldn’t get past that terrible feeling, or I missed a layup and struggling to move beyond that play. And the pressure that I put on myself to get over it. I was a person who wanted to be the best at everything, and I know that there is no such thing. But I was a low-key perfectionist, and that was quite frankly a recipe for disaster. There has to be some level of failure, mistake, trial-and-error, and improvement. You have to have a process. It sounds so cliche, and I’m smiling and thinking of my mom, and I hear her saying, ‘Trust the process. And I used to say, What process, lady? What are you talking about? I am really grateful for this path, the journey that I’ve been on because the process has started to illuminate some things—and again, recognizing that I’m trying to be perfect. I remember when I was in the fifth or sixth grade being told that I’m an overachiever. I would say you guys are underachievers. I always shot for the stars. I remember very early on being told that I could go to space or be an astronaut. And I often believed them. I needed that encouragement, and I say I was a child in that village. I have a big village that I’m grateful for. All these people were cheering me along. I just knew that I could do it, but no one told me that the ‘doing it’ part takes a little time to cultivate and to develop skills.

I think I said the same thing to you earlier on in your career. I had this conversation with you, and I said to you to enjoy the journey. All of us don’t make it. We go through some stuff. Early on, we had an article in The IrREFutable Magazine titled, ‘Enjoying the Journey Before You Look At The Destination.’ It was about us looking at the destination 5-years from now instead of looking at the 10-years you put in being a crew chief or being on the court for the first time.

There has to be some level of failure, mistake, trial-and-error, and improvement.

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Stephanie: I remember I did the Division 3 tournament in Indianapolis, and it was the first time that the Division 3, Division 2, and the Division 1 tournament were all played in the same location. I remember being ecstatic and grateful that I was even invited. I remember coming down the escalator at Indianapolis Airport, and I just so happen to bump into Violet Palmer, and Violet said, “Enjoy the journey.” First of all, I’m talking to Violet Palmer at the airport. It was totally surreal, but I just remember having this slow-motion moment as like things are going super slow. That was the first time in this business experiencing that. We get to the game. I was working on a Division 3 game the next day, so that energy in the building was already crazy. They decided to play the Division 2 game first and then the Division 3 game afterward. This is one of the first times I’ve ever worked in an Arena. I remember I had the headache of all headaches after the game. There were just so many things spinning during the game, and I couldn’t grasp what happened in the last 40 minutes. I felt like I was in some version of The Twilight Zone, and I was trying to grab hold of some bit of normalcy. In the game, I couldn’t find the clocks. It wasn’t one of my favorite games, but ultimately it was a part of my process because what it did was it made sure, number one, that I needed to slow down. I remember walking the court and smiling but not taking it in and appreciating the moment for what it was like enjoying the achievement. I was just trying to do the game, so I can move on.

You were worried that if you mess this up, what happens next?

Stephanie: The only other time that I had an opportunity to work in an arena was the New York City High School Girls Championship. I want to say that was two years prior. It was like this prestigious opportunity. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, but I’m now at the Division 3 tournament, and I kind of had an idea. I had some experience under my belt, but I realized my process wasn’t strong enough to withstand

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Mental Health Awareness Month

that environment. One of the things that I learned and had to embrace is that I have to mess up, to grow up. And the mess up was that I didn’t have a strong enough process.

Just recently, I had a game, and I was at a gym that I never worked. Before the game, I walk out on the floor to find the clocks and find the fouls. I now have mechanisms in place, so I’m not losing my mind trying to find the shot clocks or foul count. There needed to be an error for me to create a process, and for me, it’s all a part of the mental health journey. I think the peace for me is to live with a sense of urgency. And that is positive and negative. That sense of urgency is something where I know that tomorrow isn’t promised. However, the point is, you have to go through the process, right. You can’t skip steps to get from point A to point B. You don’t go A to Z to discover everything. That was a really big point in my officiating career where I realized, oh gosh, I don’t have enough tools in my toolbox. And It was after Bonita had passed away. I didn’t have enough tools in my toolbox to handle the situation that I was going through.

Do you think that was part of her struggles?

Stephanie: You know I can’t say. I can’t speak for Bonita. One of the things I had to take away from Bonita’s passing was that she was ill. I never knew Bonita to be ill. I knew Bonita to be an encouraging, brassy personality. She just could walk into any court, Arena, and gym and take over.

I didn’t know what she was going through, and I remember feeling disappointed that I didn’t get an opportunity to pray for Bonita when she was in that place. I wish I had known. I wondered why we don’t talk about mental health, especially in our black community. The conversation about mental health is avoided.

I recently had a family member go through an issue with extreme anxiety that landed them in the hospital. It was scary, and I wish we had known about this ahead of time so that I could have been that intersection to help them through it.

I’m glad I was able to help because it was scary. I’m happy that family member opened up because we were able to find tools to survive. You are not alone in this.

‘The Savior Theory”. I don’t remember the psychological term. I feel like I can save and heal the world, but I can’t.

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Stephanie: I had to accept that Bonita didn’t want me to know. She didn’t want anyone to know because I genuinely know that Bonita had enough people around her to help. I called it, ‘The Savior Theory”. I don’t remember the psychological term. I feel like I can save and heal the world, but I can’t. I can’t heal everyone. Accepting my powerlessness is where I knew I needed to stop and talk to somebody because this was an individual that I was with every other weekend.

I remember the last time I saw her. We are at West 4th Street, and I am going on and on. I told her I don’t ever want to work men’s ball. I’m not doing this. I don’t even know that I want a referee. I think this whole process is dumb. And I’m doing great of complaining. I’m having a whole Stephanie Barksdale moment just whining, and so she just turns around and just very curt and says, “Stephanie, I can get you a seat at the table, but I can’t keep you there.” And I don’t know what I was complaining about. I’m saying something about not moving up in this referee world. I don’t even think Bonita meant her comments to be extremely profound, she was just saying for me to shut up and put in the work, and that’s what I took out of it. But she did open the doors for so many things for me. I appreciate her, but she also instilled in me to slow down, trust the process, appreciate the process. You know, smell the roses. She said, ‘I can get you there, but you got to do the work to stay there,’ and the work comes with learning the system, understanding your partner’s, getting to know players and coaches, the dynamics of the game, what’s happening, what’s not happening. Do you need a whistle here? Things of that nature, and so from that I am just eternally grateful. But all of that happens with the mistakes. So, are you willing to embrace your mistakes?

I have this quote sitting right here on my computer. ‘Failure is just a stepping-stone towards greatness.’ I have to fail. I don’t want to, but that’s the process. That failure and embracing failure is where I think for me, and my mental health journey came into play. Violet Palmer said to me, ‘Fail fast.’ You’ve got to fail. Because in this business where you are critiqued on every whistle, every play. This profession puts you out in the forefront for everybody to see your failures. That’s what’s the unique part of being a referee.

I don’t know why I’m reminded of this but, I hate public speaking. I hate speaking in front of a crowd. I love one on one interactions. I don’t know if you ever knew this, but early on, Bonita would have me come in at her referee class, and I hated it.

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Mental Health Awareness Month

Stephanie: When you gave presentations? I remember when you gave presentations. They were fine.

Oh yeah, I remember when I would do those presentations. I would have sweaty palms, and my nerves were a mess. I had terrible anxiety about speaking. Working on a podcast and stuff like this was incredibly hard for me. Writing is incredibly hard because the world is going to see. Drawing was my comfort zone. My art was a place where I was OK to put myself out there for the world to see, and I didn’t care what you thought.

Stephanie: So, drawing doesn’t give you that level of anxiety?

Not at all, because the repetitions were there at a very young age. I built that muscle up at a very young age. I was drawing when I was 6-years old, so when I was 18, I felt really good about my art. It wasn’t arrogance. I just felt really good about my work. I felt really good about this journey. Art has taught me more about the journey than anything else. Art has taught me the process of failing. It taught me how to work through stuff. So, when I started out refereeing, I always understood that I’m not good at it now, but I will be good enough. Artists always taught me that I learn differently. It taught me that I process things differently.

Stephanie: That’s ultimately everyone’s mental health journey. It’s just adding tools to your toolbox to rely on when you have certain experiences. Number one is being selfaware. The second step of that is then doing something about it, right? It’s then OK. So, there’s this self-acceptance, self-actualization, self-awareness, and then actually taking a step.

I’ve still never had a perfect game, but I have been at a point where I was that person who would break down the whole game tape. And I mean everything. From the tip-off, I’m looking at my mechanics and my positioning. It was a little bit too much, and I’ve had to pull back the reigns. So, I now know that I can’t critique everything. Did I blink three times? It can be too much, and in my quest to be good, I’m trying to be perfect.

How about just being OK. So now there’s a piece of me that needed to be comfortable with being OK.

So, there’s this self-acceptance, selfactualization, self-awareness, and then actually taking a step.

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Can you speak about your battle with dyslexia?

Stephanie: I didn’t technically get diagnosed until I was living in New York. I’m trying to go to Columbia. I had moved to New York because, in my mind, ‘I shoot for the stars and I wanted to go to graduate school. I needed to go to the best graduate school. I did my research, and I decided that Columbia is where I need to be. So, I moved first and decided to work out the details when I get here. Taking the GMAT (The Graduate Management Admission Test) was where I realized I needed some help. But your good until you’re not good. I got to the GMAT, and I have some challenges, and I realized I need more time. The only way I could get more time is to have the necessary credentials to prove that I had dyslexia so I could receive more time. I knew I had it, just based on my experiences. I knew I had issues. So, I found a doctor, and the results came back as what I knew all along. I moved on from there, but I didn’t get into graduate school. My point was I needed to embrace the fact that it was true because I had been in denial for a while and the same thing goes with mental health. I don’t think Bonita’s experience was the first time that I had experienced mental health. I think it was something that I had just tried my best to work through for so many years, and I’ve gotten to a point where I found out that what I was doing was not working. I was willing to admit that I no longer had the tools in my toolbox to get through it. It was a combination of not just my experience of losing Bonita but the idea that I have to be right on every call.

In this whole journey, what would you like people to take away from this?

I’m not the person who is going to go to the gym and lift weights. I need somebody to be there with me, and we talk about form and things of that nature.

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Mental Health Awareness Month

Stephanie: I often think of our fingerprints. Together, we can make something beautiful. My individual fingerprint is so unique to who I am that I need to put that out on the floor I need to bring it to the game every day, and so I say that, and I also say that we need people who are willing to be encouragers and freedom fighters for grace.

That is something that is so important. I’m not only giving others grace but giving myself grace. I’m not perfect I don’t have to be perfect. There is a strong possibility I’m going to get a play wrong. I’m going to tell you right now. I remembered last season, a coach said to me about a play, “That can’t be right! That can’t be right!” and I turned around and said, “Coach, I’ve gotten that play wrong enough to know that time I got it right.” And he just kind of looked at me stunned, and I was like, no, I’m serious.

I needed to be OK with being wrong. I’m not wrong. That was the switch. I’m not wrong. I’m not bad. I’m not less than. I’m enough, but at this moment, I need to make some sort of correction so that I can get this play correct in the future.

Hearing this, I wish I had found help sooner in my career.

Stephanie: There is no time like the present. I have a coach. I have a therapist. I am an active advocate for help in whatever format. We go to the dentist when our tooth hurts. We go to the Podiatrists when our feet hurt. Why not have a resource that you go to when you are unable to resolve something internally. I have an internal medicine doctor, and I love my primary care. I have a trainer. I’m not the person who is going to go to the gym and lift weights. I need somebody to be there with me, and we talk about form and things of that nature. Why not have someone who’s there to help you mentally train and prepare and that is what I want to leave with everyone.

It’s just another resource. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t make you crazy. There was a point when it was a stigma, and I didn’t tell my family. They all now know. I don’t think everybody’s taking advantage of some sort of Mental Health Resource. Whether it’s in person or online. Whatever. There are so many options out there that fit our individual needs, but I believe it’s necessary that you take care of yourself.

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Greetings from London!

By Michael Diamond-Hunter It’s been a while since I’ve had the opportunity to be as involved with refereeing as I’d like to. Then again, it’s been this way for pretty much everyone who has been involved with refereeing basketball. It’s been an incredibly trying year, and since it’s been a year since we were initially in lockdown here in the UK, I’ve had some time to reflect upon all the changes that have happened since my last game.

Before beginning, a bit of background about me. I’ve been out in the UK for about four years (moving for grad school and then for a new job) and have been refereeing basketball since I’ve arrived. While basketball in the UK isn’t quite like it is in the US, it’s been a really fun and rewarding experience. Being in the UK, we use FIBA rules and mechanics – which is its own thing. When people ask me about what it’s like doing games outside of the US, I tell them that in some regards, it’s still basketball.

There’s a whole lot about refereeing that translates across all rules systems (whether that’s NFHS, NCAA, or the pros). However, the different things are really different – and it takes time to understand and fully get comfortable with them. There are different signals, different ways to report, different terminology, the markings on the court are different (with distances measured in meters rather than in feet), and wildly different mechanics than I was initially used to (especially for 2-person mechanics!).

In one of my first games, I mistakenly gave the wrong signal for reporting a number. I still remember the look on the table official’s face when I was reporting – it was one of mild humor and confusion. I think what helped me in that instance was that I verbally stated what the number was. I also relied on all the other things that help with refereeing – being polite, a mentality of working with partners and crew and trying my best to service the game. So even though I had a few snafus, I was able to get through the game without a hitch.

Basketball in the UK has a solid following, even if looks may be deceiving. Across the UK, basketball is one of the highest participating sports amongst people under 18, and the people who are really into it are really into it. The connections between the UK and the US (basketball-wise) are strong. There have been a number of NBA players who are from the UK, including Luol Deng, and John Amechi. Temi Fagbenle,

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Kristine Anigwe, and Karlie Samuelson all have WNBA experience and have represented team Great Britain on the women’s side. There have been a host of players – both men and women – who have played (and are currently playing) NCAA D1, D2, and D3. The venues here may not be completely on par with what you can find in the US, but basketball culture in the UK is strong.

Throughout this past year, I (like so many others) have had to put basketball on pause for more important things – like keeping myself and my family safe and doing my part to help us all to get over this pandemic. One of the silver linings of this time is that I have been able to stay connected to family, friends, and referees across the world via technological advancements (zoom, teams, etc.). Like lots of people, it took me a while to get back in the headspace for doing referee things – starting a new job during the pandemic (of which I am truly fortunate to have) and dealing with the emotional, mental, and physical toll of lockdown here in the UK has been tough. Now that there seems to be some hope on the horizon, it feels like things will hopefully be better come September (the start of our season), and we can have things be safer for everyone to participate. In the interim, I’m looking forward to taking you along my journey as I navigate my new job and along my path to getting where I want to be refereeing-wise. I’ve got a bunch of interesting, quirky, and funny stories to tell you about and look forward to the day that we’ll be able to get back to doing what we like, no matter where we are – which, for me, is refereeing.

There are different signals, different ways to report, different terminology, the markings on the court are different and wildly different mechanics

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Tell A Com, Tell A Prompt, Tell A Ref

By Asha Pearl Sparrock

How

often do you watch a game and you receive a text from a fellow referee about a controversial call or play? “Did you see that backcourt play?” The first three phrases you read let you know precisely where this inquiry is going. You can either ignore the text or respond with the knowledge that what follows will be hours of useless banter. The conversation sometimes starts with an honest discussion about a rule, but more times than not, it ends bashing the character of a fellow referee. What’s certain is that it’s not coming from a place of love.

Gossip is an ageless pastime that doesn’t seem to end in high school. Contrary to TV shows and movies, gossip doesn’t only occur between housewives in the suburbs. At work, gossip amongst our peers can seem harmless. Worst case scenario, you find yourself outside of a newly formed clique. However, once the subject of interest moves throughout the ranks, it potentially becomes damaging for one’s career.

In a time where subliminal messages and outright rants on social media become trending topics, it’s important to mind how we relate information amongst one another. More than ever before, we see careers publicly coming to an end due to

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insensitive comments posted on social media giants. CEOs, head coaches, senators, educators, and many others are being asked to step down or remove their superiors due to an insensitive remark that may have been here-say.

There is an assumption that those who gossip are “bored with their lives’’. While that may be the case for some, many fall victim to gossip out of habit. “Did you see Janice miss that easy block-charge play?” “Yea! That wasn’t the only thing she missed. She thinks she never misses a call.” Does Janice have a good angle on the play? Can she even see the entire play? Whether or not Janice missed a call doesn’t affect the lives of these two gossipers. To have a situation that both parties can talk about and are somewhat knowledgeable about can accidentally lead to gossip.

When it comes down to being mindful of how we relate information, always check your intentions. In a possible scenario where you work with a partner that you ended up not getting along with, how would you evaluate their performance without getting personal feelings involved? Emotions and unconscious biases play a much more significant role in feedback than they should.

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The Wormely Whistles Kills Germs An Interview with Stanley Wormely

By Kevin Sparrock Many years back, at a basketball tournament, I forgot my whistle. I was thankful I had a spare at the bottom of my bag. Unfortunately, it was under my sneakers and sweaty socks. At the time, I remember feeling thankful I didn’t have to borrow a spare from my partners. That feeling changed after the first out-of-bounds play. I blew into my Fox40, and dirt, lint, and debris exploded out of the eyelids. My inhale probably collected any particles within a two or three-inch distance from my face. Ugh. Being sick and ingesting germs wasn’t the problem. How unhealthy and how many germs were my issue.

Stanley Wormely had the solution for germs. Our paths crossed at a college referee camp many years ago, and we hit it off immediately. Stanley started officiating basketball in 2002 at the high school level and worked his way up to Division 1 Women’s basketball. Like myself, he encountered some similar struggles in sterilizing his whistle. He decided to do something about the problem. Stanley created “Clean As A Whistle,” a case that kills 99% percent of germs on your officiating whistle. We got together to talk about his journey as a basketball official and starting a business.

Kevin: Let’s talk about your officiating journey.

Stanley Wormely: To put it in your words, it has been a journey. I don’t know if I was prepared for Division One camps. You know they say everybody has their path, but I didn’t know that you needed somebody as a mentor to kind of lead you. I thought I’d be able to figure it out on my own. Well, it wasn’t long before I figured out you need a mentor. I remember one of the questions someone asked me, “Who do you work with? Who helps you in the summer to get ready? And I didn’t have that person. So that was one of the critical things that I picked up. How to work? How to study? How to get into the books? And you can’t do that on your own. You can’t just study on your own. The rules are constantly changing, and you needed someone to help you with that.

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How did it feel like when you first made it to Division 1?

Stanley: I can tell you, I went to every camp expecting to get hired. I kept saying, “I’m going to get hired this time. I’m going to get hired this time.” I believe a few camps I went to that I wasn’t being looked at as a serious candidate. And again, it goes back to having a mentor. So I went to camp for probably 7-8 years at a division one camp and nothing. I dove into getting a mentor and studying the right way, and I watched the game slow down for me. That was all part of my journey.

During your officiating journey, you create a product called Clean As A Whistle. Talk about the development, the manifestation of how that came during your officiating journey. What was that gap where you said, “OK, I want to do something like this.”

Stanley: Well, I’m going to go back to 2002-2003 when I first started officiating, and I was listening to the veterans on the floor. I asked the veteran officials that were calling High School games, “How do you keep your whistle clean?” They gave me all sorts of answers. Some said they just run it under hot water. Some of them said they boiled it. Some of them were using rubbing alcohol. Some used drinking alcohol.

Liquor?

Stanley: Yeah. Some used Crown Royal, Whiskey. I asked them, “You use whiskey to sanitize your whistle?” I’ve heard them all. Clorox! Yea, I was shocked at that one.

I said to myself; there’s gotta be a better way. Later on, in my career, I was using my whistle, and it had a hairline crack in the front. When you first start officiating, you’re trying to cut costs, and you’re not spending a lot of money on whistles, and you’ll use the same whistle repeatedly. I bit down on the whistle, and it opened, and as it closed up, it pinched my lip. When I pulled it out of my mouth, I pulled out a piece of my lip, and it began bleeding in the game. But I couldn’t stop the game. I wanted to go over

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and kick the ball out of bounds because I was bleeding and in pain. When I got in the locker room, I found out all of my whistles were in the same condition. All of my whistles had cracks. Once I figured out that this was caused by my dropping my whistle in boiling water, it changed the material. It was at that point that I wanted to figure out a better way to do it. The only error that I made was I slept on the idea too long. Some ten years later, after I injured myself again with the whistle, I said I have to do something about it. So in a way, a great thing came out of pain. I’m sure God himself sent me that idea through pain, saying this is what I want you to do. I want you to create something that’s going to be a blessing to others.

Can you talk about the technology of your product? It’s based on UV ultraviolet technology.

Stanley: Yeah, that’s part of it. As I dove into this product, or should I say this blessing, I didn’t want to reinvent the wheel. Many different products out there use ultraviolet light ozone technology, but none of them was trying to do what I was doing. I had an inside track to an officials needs. We needed something compact. We needed something that traveled well. We needed something not only for basketball officials but soccer and other sports. We needed it for anyone who uses a whistle: military or police officers.

I wanted to make good use of the technology available. I made sure I did my homework before thoroughly starting this journey. I wasn’t sharp on the design piece, and we need to do our homework before moving to the next level. The journey is full of ups and downs and hills and valleys.

Talk about UV technology. I understand; it’s a dry way of cleaning.

Stanley: The UV light technology kills 99.9% of germs, viruses, and bacteria that the light touches. For me, that wasn’t good enough because, as you know, the whistle has chambers. So I needed something that was going to get inside the whistle and

I’m sure God himself sent me that idea through pain, saying this is what I want you to do. I want you to create something that’s going to be a blessing to others.

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take care of those problems. The technology that I use includes not only ultraviolet light but also includes Ozone. Ozone is not reinventing the wheel. Ozone comes from the sun, and the technology has been used for many years and is natural. The ultraviolet light and Ozone are in one piece of technology, or it is the piece of technology that I used to get to that 99.9% and make sure that our whistles remain clean.

The big question is, does your product kill COVID-19, and during this pandemic, how has your business changed.

Stanley: I’m not going to say that this product is the cure-all of COVID19. I would say that it helps eliminate germs and viruses bacteria. Back in 2013, when we launched, obviously COVID wasn’t around at that time, and many people weren’t concerned about germs and viruses.

We just boiled our whistles! Ha! Stanley: Yes, right, but there wasn’t a concern, and a lot of people didn’t see the need. Now let’s fast forward seven years, and now people have become more aware.

My question is. Did germs and viruses change within that time? Not really. Corona has been around for years. I was talking to my dad, who recently passed. He told me, you know this Corona thing has been around for a while. Just look on the back of the Lysol can. It’s been around for a very long time. I don’t know if it had the same strength, but it’s been around for a while. A lot of people have asked me, does it take coronavirus right out of your whistle? I can’t say that it does, but we tested the product in labs. I know that it does well against germs, viruses, streptococcus, and other things that can make you sick, and that’s the platform that we run on.

How has the business changed since COVID? We’ve raised awareness. It has been positive for our business. I hate that it had to happen that way, but anyway, we can help to eliminate and put people’s minds at ease, we’re willing to do.

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You currently change the design of your product. Before, you had three chambers for three whistles. Now you have one big compartment and one smaller one.

Stanley: The new design was created by our customers and clients who said, ‘Hey, we need a design that will help us with finger whistles.’ It was something we had not thought of. We had gotten maybe a couple of inquiries about finger whistles, but it was not enough of an inquiry from prospective clients to make a change because of the cost to change the design and the numbers they have to make sense. Well, when COVID came around, that inquiry for a finger whistle compartment came back. We needed to take advantage of this and help those in other sports to use this technology. Being a user of a lanyard whistle, I never thought about that segment of clients.

Well, we went back, and we changed it, and now we have two designs out there. I hope we’ve covered everybody now.

So, the new design is ready now?

Stanley: Yes, it has launched, and we had some sales from the new advertising.

Every person who inquired about the finger whistle from years ago was the first to be emailed. We said, “You asked for this. We’ve got it. Is this something that you need?

Let us know.” We sent that email blast out on a Wednesday, and by Thursday or Friday, we had sales from those folks.

That proves that there is a need not only in our segment but also in other officials looking to ensure that they are safe and healthy. We also did that for officials that work two sports. Maybe they called a sport with a finger whistle, and they also used a lanyard whistle to officiate. The new design killed a lot of birds with one stone.

What have you learned about your business?

Stanley: The one thing I’ve learned is patience because this thing doesn’t happen overnight. I’m going to go back to the conversation we had about making it to Division One. You have an opportunity to do something that you’ve always wanted to do. It’s a passion of yours. It may be right around

It’s a passion of yours. It may be right around the corner, but if you give up before you get to that corner, you’ll never know the joy of that opportunity.

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the corner, but if you give up before you get to that corner, you’ll never know the joy of that opportunity. You’ll never know what it’s going to be. That’s what kept me pressing on. Then I looked at my wife, my kids, and then I took a look at myself, and I said, “I got a lot of people that are depending on me.” I’ve got to make sure that they understand that you’re not living in a house with somebody who gives up. So part of the blessing that you can give to someone when you start telling your story is that you have to keep going and keep pushing and know that the joy of taking this journey.

There will be a lot of ups and downs, but there’s joy in this journey.

I don’t know if you’ve ever known anybody who has gone through this journey and get to the finish line. It almost brings sadness because you made it to the finish line, and now you’re looking for another race to run so you can hear and feel that joy again.

What’s next for the business, and what’s next for Stanley?

Stanley: I’m enjoying where I am. I do know that thing around the corner is something that I’m not going to enjoy doing. I’m past that point in my life. Everything I do from now on is going to be something that I’m going to enjoy doing. And If it takes a little work, then I’ve got to enjoy that work.

To purchase Stanley Wormely’s product, go to thecleanwhistle.com.

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COMICS FROM FOULSANDVIOLATIONS.NET

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Lounge Around

A Midseason Daddy Daughter Trip

By Asha Pearl Sparrock There are luxuries that we see all of the time on social media by unknowns that appear unattainable. Extravagant getaways, unrealistic clothing, and accessories, and cheese plates only for the likes of the elite. Tiffany Aliche, also known as “The Budgetnista,” on a recent episode of the wellness podcast “The Friend Zone” explains how “it’s not difficult to make money” and that “you don’t need to break your back to earn.” My first indication that this was, in fact, a true statement was the day I gained access to one of United Airlines’ lounges.

Growing up, I had an extreme fear of flying, which I’ve learned many understandably do as well. However, my desire to visit new locations never subsided. The idea of traveling fills me with such dread. Not simply the idea of something going catastrophically wrong whilst thousand of miles in the sky, but the entire production of the trip.

The packing, looking for your flight, and the unbearable weight. I was waiting in a sea of uncomfortable passengers with socks, slip-on sandals, and silk scarves because who wants to do their hair before sitting in the middle seat of a 6-hour flight?

It wasn’t until a trip to Indianapolis. I was able to experience a taste of what comfort at the airport could be.

Without being financially responsible, I’d never saved up for a vacation with my girls or a getaway with my boyfriend. I hadn’t even given myself a substantial amount of savings to visit family out-of-state without the aid of my parents. This was yet another trip courtesy of my father. His out-of-state college basketball games had him constantly traveling. I figured his officiating job was why he could have perks such as first-class tickets and access to closed-off areas of the airport. I was not well-versed in the programs that allow the accumulation of points to earn rewards.

At the time, I’d only flown a few times. I never noticed the roped-off doors that led to the United lounge. My assumption was it was for employees only. After a short-lived stint as a bartender at the airport, I understood the tiers from the general public and platinum members.

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As if it wasn’t already a daunting ordeal to go through TSA (Transportation Security Administration) alone while my dad was able to blitz through due to his status, I dreaded the 2-hour wait to board. The way-too-close-together chairs. The lukewarm coffee from one of the seven shops that had “fast” or “go” in the name. And a 7 dollar chocolate bar halfway melted in a carry-on. Can I transport to Indianapolis already?

Imagine the surprise when my dad and I walked up to the roped-off doors. “Where are we going?” I asked. “You’ll see.” He said with a smirk. He had a way of making moments into a riddle which was both enticing and infuriating.

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A man stood in the doorway and ushered us inside. I immediately knew this was some special treatment. I didn’t even know there were ushers inside the airport. An elevator took us up to a brown and gray room. A suited young man stood behind a variety of top-shelf liquors. I was old enough to drink, just not comfortable to do so around my dad just yet.

The first thing I noticed after the liquor, of course- was this was, in fact, the definition of “lounge.” Although I still have my suspicions, everyone there was waiting for a flight. However, everyone moved as if they were already on vacation.

My dad kept his “fatherly” composure where he didn’t want to show too much emotion. I could feel that he was excited to show me this, though. I reacted for both of us. “Where are we?!” My eyes couldn’t get wide enough. “It’s the United Lounge. He answered. “When you fly as much as I do, you’re allowed to chill out in places like this.” “So I can’t come here without you?” I didn’t see myself traveling anytime soon, but I couldn’t possibly go back to the plebeian lifestyle of the general public the next time I did decide to fly.

“You could if you fly enough. But I’m allowed, one guest. So, find a spot to hang out.”

My eyes scanned the area for the biggest gray couch. I wanted to stretch my legs and feed myself the grapes and cheeses from the communal tray. I wasn’t surprised at the number of stares I received. I knew I made it evident that I was a tourist.

My dad followed me to the second biggest couch because an elderly couple occupied the first one. The moment his butt hit the cushion, his eyes were shut. I made six trips to the cheese and bread tray. It was my first time trying Brie cheese. That’s probably the start of my cheese addiction.

From what I remember, the rest of our wait was falling in and out of sleep. I was nervous we would miss our flight from simply being too comfortable where we were. I couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. After that, I set up an account with a few different airlines so I could earn points. I wanted to be able to do this all of the time—my mini-vacation before the vacation.

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GO TO NEATTUCKS.COM TO GET YOUR PAIR!

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g n i l e Trav

Travel Apps

Search, Organize, and Track Your Travels

By Asha Pearl Sparrock If you travel and own a smartphone, you’re likely to download the app to whichever airline you’ve chosen to fly. While most can track flights, send delay alerts, and book trips, not all are entirely user-friendly. For short-distance traveling, there’s Uber and Lyft. However, even those have their limits. Companies like Enterprise and Hertz have apps that allow easy car rentals but don’t compare prices for other locations.

TripIt, Hopper, and FlightAware are three amazing smartphone apps for flight and hotel booking, car rentals, and alerts for delays and advisories for your trips. These apps keep every aspect of your itinerary.

Hopper Hopper is with the times and knows how to bring in an eco-friendly clientele. The “Hopper Trees” program donates money to plant four trees for every flight and two trees for every hotel booked through the app. Sign me up for a round trip to the Amazon!

Through Hopper, you can easily book flights, cars, hotels, and even homes. When signing up with the app, you earn $10.00 of “carrot cash” towards your first hotel booking. Hopper compares every airline and hotel price with a 95% accuracy and one year in advance!

Green displays the least costly trips while red is the most expensive.

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Viola! Here’s your current lowest price. If you were to book a flight at this moment in time for a trip in a few weeks, odds are your price point will be significantly increased. Hopper even gives you the option to wait due to trends and then seize the opportunity to save money!

Don’t feel comfortable waiting? No problem! Freeze your price for seven days so as not to risk it rising even higher. We’re all about the benjamins. Saving them, that is.

TripIt Trip it good! When creating your TripIt account, the app prompts you to enter your home airport, tracking your trip much more accessible.” Hours of planning organized in seconds.” After booking your flight, hotel, and/or car, forward your confirmation emails to plans@tripit.com. TripIt collects all of your itinerary information and creates a neatly made plan for your trip. You can even look back at past trips!

Here’s an example of a past trip. You can create a name for your trip while TripIt lays out your itinerary.

You can also easily share your trip with others!

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FlightAware Here, aware. There, aware. Everywhere, aware. Wow, that’s a tongue twister.

FlightAware is an expansive free live flight tracker and flight status app. FlightAware’s many perks promote easy navigation and a catered experience for each user with the ability to track real-time flight status and the inclusion of any commercial flight worldwide.

Adjust your FlightAware to cater to your needs.

Who are you? FlightAware is for travelers as well as aviation specialists.

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Find a satellite view of all of the flights leaving and arriving from your home airport.

What airline are you taking? Here is a list of nearby flights to various locations.

Change the view of your current location. Street view allows you to see your local streets and cities. The overlay shows the surrounding weather, airports, and tracked flights. Too much going on? No problem. Uncheck the overlay boxes to find what you’re looking for quickly.

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