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THE IMP No. 24.
Hilary Term.
1927.
EDITORIAL. FTER the glorious conquests of the Hilary Term of last year The Imp is disappointed in having no silver cup to grace his pages ; yet it is with a sense of pride never before experienced that he records the heroic fight of ' Brains versus Brawn,' assigning the laurels of the athletic fields to dwell on high with ' the Brains.' He feels this is but another proof ofthe oft-quoted superiority of mind over matter. The number of entries for the Competitions were comparatively few. The standard of the drawing competition on local scenery and rhyme sheets was good. With the opportunities afforded by the Second Year play, and productions at the Theatre and Playhouse, it was disappointing that no one attempted any play illustrations. The first prize goes to P. A. Martin for her delightful old-world etching ' Off Holywell,' and the second prize to L. L. Stave for the rhyme sheet entitled ' Hide and Seek,' with its refreshing breeze from the sea and the woods. As the fables were only four in number, and on the whole were not of a high standard, only one prize has been awarded. Members of all years who have entered the mazes of the Jungle under the watchful eyes of the Doe and the Buck and the African lion, will agree with The Imp in awarding the prize to M. B. Neilson for her fable of ' The Foolish Gazelle.'
A
SECOND YEAR PLAY. The Second Year deserve our heartiest congratulations for their performance on the night of February 22nd. The choice of the play was excellent, and it was a very great relief to get away from the topical and the farce, only too typical of many college productions. The producer, L. Leonard, is to be congratulated on the absence of those pauses and moments of crisis which are
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often present in amateur productions, and the whole performance was characterised by a vigour and efficiency which showed much co-operation between actors and producer. Of the individual performances, the most outstanding were those of K. Walker as the Queen and G. Barker as the Curate. We felt that the Queen was one of those delightful women who never lost her homely attributes in the overwhelming dignity of royalty, and the Curate would have been a credit to any parish. His attitude towards the young was inimitable. L. Stave (the Green Prince), P. Graham (the Governess), and D. Langfield (Aunt Jane) gave three very pleasing pieces of characterisation, all of which showed thoroughly competent acting. We sympathised with P. Fulford (the Princess) and F. Fox (the Woodcutter) in having to cope with a piece of dialogue which even the humour of parody did not save from a tendency to excessive sentiment. Unfortunately the humour of the situation overcame the actors as well as the audience. The standard of childhood was well maintained by K. Abbot (Rosemary), who might well have been ten years old, but M. Phelips (Oliver) and J. Hussey (Jill) had not attained to the same degree of youth either in appearance or behaviour. M. Challans and A. Cambridge are very much to be congratulated on the dresses, which were excellent, not only in themselves but in their general colour scheme in the different scenes. We feel that for the aesthetic benefit of the college M. Hobhouse (the Blue Prince) should always wear those clothes. C.G.
BLIND. ' She is gone ; I tried to bind her, But all in vain. She is dead. I shall not find her Ever, ever again.' The white moth brushed softly on the window-pane. ' There was damp earth where they laid her, And cold rain in the air. She is lonely. I betrayed her To leave her there.' The white moth tapped lightly on the casement bare. ' There will be no songs to sing her Ever, ever again. She is dead. Joy cannot bring her Nor any pain.' The white moth beat muffled on the window-pane.
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Time and the years will follow. She is gone away, And an empty cold, cold hollow Where her head lay.' The white moth flew homeward at the dawn of day. E.M.C.
THE FABLE OF THE FOOLISH GAZELLE : or NEVER CHANGE YOUR SCHOOL. Once upon a time, long, long ago, the animals held a pow-wow in the heart of the forest. An old and wise monkey stood up in their midst and spoke, saying ' It is high time that we had a re our young may go to learn the ways of school in the forest, whe the Jungle.' Yes, indeed,' said the ancients, the cubs are most unruly and ill-mannered, far less well-behaved than we were at that age. Times are changing in the Jungle.' And they all shook their heads. When the young animals reached a certain age they were sent to the school in the forest, under the care of two tutors of their own kind. The young monkeys were taught to chatter in strange tongues by two of the most erudite members of the tribe. The fawns were taught to browse in luscious pastures with intelligence and discrimination by the Doe and the Buck, and the lion-cubs were taught to roar by a lean, silent lion with a wounded paw and a great black African lion from the desert, whose roar was heard to boom from one end of the forest to the other. One fine morning a little gazelle came to school in the forest, but before the little gazelle reached the luscious pastures of the Doe and the Buck, he heard a loud and terrible sound booming across the forest. He pricked up his delicate ears, and a look of amazement filled his large brown eyes. This is indeed a strange sound,' said the little gazelle ; can it be the trumpeting of the great Indian elephant? " Nay, nay ! ' said a deep voice behind him ; ' it is I, the great black African lion. Come hither, little one ! ' So the little gazelle, who was indeed a foolish gazelle, forgot all about the luscious green pastures, and wanted only to be able to make this strange noise like the great black African lion. Presently the- little gazelle, who was bold as well as foolish, said unto the great black African lion, What must I do that one day I may make the strange noise that thou makest, 0 greatest of lions?' The great black African lion tossed back his heavy mane and gazed reflectively into the eyes of the little gazelle. 0 foolish one, art thou so little skilled in the ways of the Jungle that thou
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dost not know that a gazelle can never roar like a lion? ' But the little gazelle wanted above all things to roar like a lion, and every time the great black African lion roared, which was not seldom, the little gazelle made squeaky noises in imitation. Then did the Doe and the Buck come unto the little gazelle and tell him of the sweet grass and pleasant pasture-land, but the little gazelle would not listen. Now, it is not a good thing for little gazelles when they refuse to learn to browse, so the little gazelle began to get thinner and thinner, and soon he was so weak that he could not even make his own little noises, and of course he never learned to roar like the great black African lion. So one day the poor, foolish gazelle died, and the animals mourned a little and then turned to their young ones and said, ' Now, my dears, you must never change your mind. See what happens to foolish little gazelles who try to do things they were never meant to do ; and besides, haven't we always told you that no one can ever roar like the great black African lion?' M. B. NEILSON.
A FABLE. Once upon a time there was a Very Busy Bee whose occasional pleasure it was to hop with the grasshoppers in the field which is called Parks. Now one day the grasshoppers said they would hop at a certain hour, for the weather was fair ; and they bade the Bee go• with them. Anon, anon ! ' said the Bee, for she thought to herself, I can gather much honey before that time.' And so she clad herself in hopping suit and buzzed off to make honey. It generally happened that in the morning there was great competition among the Bees for the flowers in the near neighbourhood of the hive ; but in the afternoon the Wiser Bees ceased to labour and took their rest. Alas ! our Very Busy Bee became so intoxicated with the honey from the deserted flowers that she slumbered in the hive, forgetful of the hour. And three-and-twenty grasshoppers hopped without her. Anon they came to the hive, seeking their lost companion, but they could not find her. They sought her in dew-ponds, fearful lest an experimental ablution might have proved fatal. But they found her not, until at that night's feasting they beheld her, sluggish and sorrowful that greed for honey had thus deprived her of her pastime. Moral : Laborare scraper est errare.
M. 0.
LAKINS.
DOGS. Some like big dogs, and some like small, Some like them short, and others like them tall : There are dogs for the cottage, and dogs for the Hall ; Some want show - dogs, with pedigrees and all, But I like any dog— Just any dog at all.
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THE PROBLEM. (With all due apologies.) To smile or not to smile, That is the question ; whether 'tis better Day by day to suffer the frigid stare Of an unbending tutor Or, in your passing, ` cut' her?
M.B.N.
HERRENH.AUSEN: 1922. Blind windows stare with sullen gaze On sinuous paths and desolate lawns All straggling in a weedy maze, Where once gazelles and frisking fawns Leapt playfully 'midst patterned beds Of multi-coloured summer flowers Of blue, and gold, and orient reds, While through the heavy scented bowers Electors stalked with languid gait, Pompous, and fat, and silken clad, And mused on great affairs of state ; Or winsome ladies with them had, Rustling in rich brocade and lace, To charm away the tedious hours Which only pleasure could efface. But now, . . . a few forgotten flowers And marble fountains, mute and still And wizen'd trees, devoid of breath, The sere neglected gardens fill With all the loneliness of Death.
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RONDEAU. I
am alone beside my dying fire ; The night is now far spent, and cool winds blow ; The fire burns dim, and the white moon sinks low. I cannot sleep. The stillness draws yet nigher, But your dark hair lives in the fire's last glow, And your still throat, eloquent as desire. . . . The night is now far spent, and cool winds blow ; The fire burns dim, and the white moon sinks low. . . . Your long white hands--not two white doves are shyer, More swiftly tremulous, sweeping too and fro— Heavily ringed, push back the silence dire. . . . I am alone beside my dying fire ; The night is now far spent, and cool winds blow ; The fire burns dim, and the white moon sinks low. K.A.
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THE LIBRARY. Two lamps swing low, Sudden lights in a sea of shadow. The evening- is blue outside the windows, A deep mysterious blue-gray, A soft smooth light that has form and feature. It creeps up close and comes peering in, So that its reflection gleams From the polished tables. But where the lamps are lit The open books and the essay-papers Are cold and white. A bird is singing somewhere in the garden Through its dark and damp, And his song is a voice in the shadow That calls through the swirling night. I wish I could leave my books on the table, Under the yellow glare of the lamp, And go out into the garden To hear him sing above me, To feel his song sweep closely round me, To be still for a moment and to wait. . . . But the table is piled with books and papers, And the ticking of the clock Is a dull insistent echo That calls me back. PH. H.
MY LADY'S EYES. Laughter mocking in my lady's eyes, Copper sunlight glinting in her hair : Mad winds of March blowing through the sky, Sweeping leaves in circles through the air. Sadness looking from my lady's eyes, Weary lashes drooping on her cheek : Moonshine dripping through the rain-wet trees Growing by the silver-songed creek. Love-light for me in my lady's eyes, Tender dimples lurking round her mouth : Green leaves shining in the summer sun And a warm breeze blowing from the South.
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A SAD STORY. (.4 slight variation of the ancient custom of ' sconcing ' still practised in this University.) z.
Oh, listen, maidens, I you pray, And I a tale will tell Of how a maid did work all day And eke of what befel.
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I had not waked an hour, an hour, An hour but only one (For this befel in Hilary Term When scarce it had begun),
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When in at door with hurried pace Young I***1 did appear, And settling down with haggard face She cried aloud, 0, dear 1 '
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I cut my dinner yesternight And worked till one or two ; My essay must be in to-day . . . I dread the interview.
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I dread the coaching, and besides I'm due at lectures three ; However I shall do it all I really cannot see.'
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And as she helped herself to fish She murmured mournfully, I must read Hansard at the Rad., I shan't be back for tea.
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And when she came to marmalade She spread it on with sorrow ; Has anybody got a Stubbs That I for once could borrow ? '
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And day by day the fever grew, She talked of nought beside, Till all her friends were tired out And sorely did her chide.
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Until at last one fateful night, When she was safe abed, Three comrades bold did plan revenge Upon her addled head. And up and spake the first of them— And ah, but she was wise' I know a way will make her end These unremitting sighs.' And up and spake the second one, And she was wise also, ' We'll put a ban on talk of " Schools " Lest that the evil grow.'
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And up and spake the third of them All at the self-same time, We'll have an awful punishment For to prevent this crime.'
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And so when I***1 appeared They told her of their law ; But she, it seemed, could not refrain, And still she 'plained sore.
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They offered, as to Rosamund, To right this dreadful wrong A college knife, or else a bowl Of college coffee strong.
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But here, alas, her wit was small, She knew not which was worse, . . . She drank the college coffee up And lay a lifeless corse.
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Now listen all, ye gentle maids, The moral of her fate Is that ye banish work from meals. Repent, 'ere 'tis too late
F.H.M.
1 9 Des Modes deSoiree auCol ege de St. ' ug ,
I OW Mil LIAVANWA
to THE IMP
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TO ONE DOING THE CHARLESTON. (With apologies.) This putrefaction of your earnest face Hath taken hour by hour the breath from me. Is there no larger J.C.R. Where your persistent prance may be? Like the unsteady balance of a bike Before a motor-car and sudden death : Or like the monstrous heaving of a sigh Come in a moment of excess of breath : Like a stout woman trying to get thin, Poised on her toes—before all hope has fled- But all similitude must falter here : Such writhings only are amongst the dead. Gazing upon you everyone is stunned : Surely a foreign motion moves your thigh, Night of a nightmare this has got no sense, Ungainly rhythm of you thundering by. Hell ! To what dance is this the preluding? What other ball-rooms shall your prances see? In what strange steps shall pass these clumsy feet Before you dance into eternity? D.H.
BRAINS VERSUS BRAWN. We have always had an immense respect for the intellectual attainments of our preceptresses ; now we must revere them no less for their athletic prowess, for have they not vanquished the Third Year in fair fight by four goals to nothing? The first thing that struck us was the suitability of the S.C.R.'s attire. We are quite sure that if all goalkeepers would adopt Miss Francis' discreet length of skirt their goal, like hers, would remain invulnerable. Had the Third Year goalkeeper been provided with such a weapon it would have proved most useful when she came into violent conflict with her tutor. Boasting but a scanty flounce, she was forced to fall back upon the inadequate resources of her feet. Again, the knotty problem of what to do with one's hair when indulging in strenuous exercise was completely solved by the S.C.R. One member of their team at first wore a hat ; later, be-
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coming reckless, she cast it aside and plunged headlong into the melÊe, very sensibly disregarding the absurd rule against turning. Another member of the team, whenever she felt her locks becoming disordered, cast her stick to earth and nonchalantly combed her hair, a thing which hitherto we have done modestly behind the tree, but which henceforth we shall feel emboldened to do under any circumstance. The first half of the game was comparatively uneventful. Each team seemed rather shy of the other, and at times there was an unprecedented politeness on the part of the Third Year in leaving the ball to their opponents. We admired the way the S.C.R. leftback cleared to the wing ; unfortunately the same thing could not always be said of her partner, who was at one time guilty of the glaring crime of pursuing the ball across her own goal circle. This, however, was a pardonable lapse considering the heroic efforts of the same lady subsequently. It was very hard luck for the S.C.R. that their captain sustained injuries so severe as to necessitate surgical aid (i.e., a bandage). Her return to the field was truly Spartan, and worthy of a disciple of Solon or Leonidas. At the beginning of the second half the Third Year, gathering all its energies, flung itself vainly against the massive ramparts of the S.C.R. defence. Presently, from the midst of the turmoil broke forth a meteor which, with a ' do-or-die ' expression on its countenance, fled with springing gait towards the Third Year goal. Mortal flesh and blood, however nobly inspired, could not withstand this apparition, and the first goal for the S.C.R. was scored. Hardly had the Third Year recovered from the shock than the performance was twice repeated, whereat, so disgusted were they, that, not venturing to expend the vials of their wrath upon their adversaries, they initiated a campaign of anihilation upon the defenceless spectators. After an interval of indiscriminate scrumming, the left wing of the S.C.R., not to be outdone, carried the ball up the field and, centreing nobly, enabled the representative of science to score, very neatly, the fourth goal. Then the Third Year, with determination writ large upon their countenances, were advancing irresistibly to the attack, and were well on the high road to success when—the remorseless whistle blew. Note.--May we venture to hope that S.C.R. v. Third Year match may prove an annual event? F. M.
RUTHLESS RHYMES FOR CALLOUS COLLEGES. A wasp fell into someone's tea . . . The poor girl died in agony. Her friend said, in an anguished tone, ' Now I shall have to coach alone ! '
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A lady on the second floor Made a noise in the corridor. She vanished. But another came . . . The noise she makes is just the same. A Fresher who had an essay to write Blew herself up with dynamite. The Bursar said, in pained reproof, Look at the hole she's made in the roof ! ' Fn. H. RUTHLESS RHYME.' A harassed student took her life With her Tutor's butter-knife. ' If,' said the Don, she had to die She might have had an assegai.'
GAMES REPORTS. S. H. C. H. C. Captain--M. R. FOOKES. Vice-Captain—W. E. MURRELL. Secretary—L. L. STAVE. No one can say we have had a very successful season, and compared with the glamour of last year it may seem rather depressing ; but although we have lost the Cup, we have a good average of hockey in the college, and, as the First Year form such a large proportion of the club, there is a hopeful prospect for the future. The Vice-Captain and Secretary have always been of the very greatest help both in their own particular duties and in the many extra burdens put upon them. FIRST XI MATCHES. Jan. 29. v. Oxford High School. Lost 5-1. Goal shot by Chapman. The XI was badly out of practice, but, although there were several reserves, ought not to have been beaten so badly. The forwards did not combine. The goal was good. Feb. 8. v. Oxford Etceteras. Lost Goals shot by Murrell and Stave. A very good game. Roberts in goal was excellent and won her colours. ,
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Feb. 17. Cupper against Somerville. Lost 6-2. Goals shot by Murrell and Stave. The XI put up a very good fight, and in the first ten minutes more than held their own, but they could not keep it up, and the decided superiority of Somerville soon made itself felt. Feb. 19. v. St. Katharine's, Wantage. Lost 5-1. Goal shot by Chapman. This match was played with an `A' team, but the School could quite well have played the First XI. The forwards played a persevering game, but the defence was not marking closely enough. Feb. 26. v. New College Choir School. Lost 7—I. Goal shot by Fulford. The match was played with only five members of the First XI. All the team was much too slow, especially the forwards, who stood to watch the opposing goalkeeper clear instead of rushing their shots. SECOND XI MATCHES. Feb. 5. v. Cricklade Ladies. Draw, 6-5. Goals shot by Owen (3), Elliott, Mott, Fulford. Lingard, Mott and Chapman won their colours in this match. Owen's shooting was good. Feb. 12. v. Bedford College Third XI. Won 5-1. Goals shot by Chapman (4) and Owen. The Second XI played well. Feb. 15. Cupper v. St. Hilda's. Won 6-2. Goals shot by Chapman (3), Owen (2) and Elliott. The passing was inaccurate and players muddled one another. Feb. 4. Cupper v. L.M.H. Lost 5-6. Goals shot by Owen (3), Chapman and Elliott. A very even game. Owen played very well and won her colours. The First Year are to be congratulated on winning the Year Cup. They beat the Second Year 4-3• CRITICISM OF FIRST XI. Goal, *B. ROBERTS. Has played very well this term and was particularly good against the Etceteras and in the cupper. Her fault is slowness. Right-back, t*M. FOOKES. Left-back, *F. WELCH. Has played in every game and is always steady and energetic. Right-half, t*P. Scorn. Has a very accurate judgment and plays consistently well. It is her second year in the United team. Centre-half, *J. HELPS. Inclined to wander too much and keep the ball rather long. A most hard-working centre-half.
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Left-half, W. REYNOLDS. Has greatly improved during the season. She must be calmer and steadier, and by watching the ball more closely and stopping it first make her clearing surer. Right-wing, *P. FULFORD. Has a good pace and sometimes shoots well form a difficult position. Right-inner, E. RATCLIFFE. Keen and good in mid-field, but must get a cleaner shot in the Circle. Centre, i*L. STAVE. An enthusiastic player, but must cultivate triangular passing. She well deserves her Blue. Left-inner, *W. MURRELL (Vice-Captain). Played very well in the cupper. She is a steady, unobtrusive player of the greatest service to the XI. Left-wing, *H. GENT. Is quick on the wing but hampered by not being able to centre while running. Must use the push pass to get her passes further ahead. (* Colours. 1- Badge.) The following are in the Second XI : Goal, *E. •ingard ; rightback, M. Gray ; left-back, D. Clark ; right-half, P. Hatton ; centrehalf M. Kirby ; left-half, *P. Martin ; right-wing, C. Vickers; right-i nner, *B. Mott ; centre, *R. Chapman ; left-inner, *M. Owen ; left-wing, K. Elliott. S.H. C. L. C. Captain—E. D. LESLIE-JONES. Vice-Captain and Secretary--M. PI-IELIPS. The lacrosse team has greatly improved during this term. More enthusiasm has been shown, and the results of lost matches are due for the most part to the opposing teams' obvious superiority than to any ' hopelessness ' on our side. H. Howarth, who has been playing for United all through the season, has won her Blue ; she has also won her tie and badge. E. Leslie-Jones has won her badge. D. Morgan has been playing well and won her Second XII tie. MATCHES v. Oxford High School. Won 12-3. v. Maltman's Green. Won 12-8. v. Second XII Berkshire Ladies. Lost 6-4. v. St. George's, Harpenden (away). Lost 15—o. Owing to bad weather matches against Done House, Newbury (away), and the Gloucester Domestic Training College were scratched. The team that played in the second round of Lacrosse Cupper, v. L.M.H., lost 13-5, was : Goal, Ratcliffe ; pt., Morgan ; c.pt., Robertson ; 3rd in., Bone ; c., Phelips ; l.a., Osborn ; r.a., Helps ; :
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1.d., Straddling ; r. d., Hobhouse ; 3rd h., Leslie-Jones ; znd h., Howarth ; i st h., Lace. The Second XII joined with four St. Hilda's men to play the Home Students, and after a good game were beaten 7-5. S. H. C. N. C. Captain—B. LACE' Vice-Captain—P. FULFORD. Secretary—L. LEONARD. The Netball Club has been singularly unlucky this term, as all our matches, except the cuppers, have been scratched either through bad weather or the illness of our opponents. In the cupper we were beaten 22-12 by the Home Students. It was a good game, but our defence was weak, and our shooters were not up to their usual form. M. Hall played very well as c.a. It is difficult to give a detailed report of the teams, as they have had so little chance of showing their form, but as far as one can judge we should have done quite well in our matches. .
FIRST VII.
(s). A useful member of the team. Can shoot very well, but needs more confidence in matches. *FULFORD (a.s.). A very good shooter, but has off days. LEONARD (c.). Quick and energetic ; must get free still more. HALL (c.d.). Has played consistently well this term, though her passing needs more control. BONE (d.). Has improved this term, especially in jumping. Should try to mark her opponent more closely and think ahead of what she is likely to do. LINGARD. Needs to be quicker and dodge more. HAVERGAL
SECOND VII. CLARK. A steady shot and gets free well. STRADLING. Has played very little this term. LE MESURIER. Should vary her tactics for the first pass. BARKER. Very quick, but has had little experience in this position.
Must try to take more of a lead in the game. Has played well this term, but is rather apt to run with the ball. Sometimes intercepts quite well, but her game needs HATTON. steadiness. MILNER. Should jump more, and try to have more dash and confidence. BABBS.
HOLYWELL PRESS, ALFRED STREET, OXFORD.
CONSTITUTION OF THE COLLEGE MAGAZINE. 1.—That the Magazine shall be called THE IMP.' the officers of the Magazine shall be an Editor and a Treasurer, elected by the J.C.R., and an elected representative from each year.
2.—That
3.—Contributions shall be accepted or refused by the decision of the majority of the Committee, the Editor reserving the right of the casting vote. 4.—The Committee shall not be held responsible for any opinions expressed in the Magazine. 5.--Nothing of intrinsic merit shall be excluded on account of views expressed therein. 6.----The anonymous character of contributions shall be respected when required. 7.--Contributions are eligible from the Senior and Junior Common Rooms, past and present. 8.—The Committee shall be empowered at their discretion to invite contributions from anyone not a member of the College.