Pastoral Focus

Hilton Hardman

As i welcome a new addition to my family, perfection is absolutely not possible within the Hardman household, but for us as a new family of four to share the love and connection that abounds between us gets pretty close to feeling like perfection.

I look forward to returning to St George’s next week at the conclusion of my paternity leave where I have enjoyed spending precious time with my family.

Perfection - at what cost?

Many staff who work in schools are parents. Working parents today (especially mums) feel enormous pressure to achieve:

• happy and contented children

• amazing relationships

• a well-nourished family

• a clean and tidy home

• well-cared for extended family

• ‘awesome’ kids’ parties

• being fit, healthy, vibrant and immaculately dressed

• a gorgeous home

• financial security

The list is endless.

But what’s so great about being ‘perfect’?

According to research by Professor Brene Brown, we perfect ourselves and our children to avoid shame or blame and avoid feeling unworthy – but it doesn’t always work in our best interests. By attempting to live up to these ‘perfect’ expectations, enormous pressure is placed on everyone to be ‘awesome’ or ‘the best’ but it misses the point, which is to belong and feel worthy of love and connection is the most important part of any family.

Aiming for perfection 100% all the time is impossible.