CLOSE UP WITH AIMI SELA ’04 Her journey from foster child to independent filmmaker

CLOSE UP WITH AIMI SELA ’04

Aimiende Negbenebor Sela ’04 has never been one to let circumstance control her. Instead, her perseverance, hunger for knowledge, openness to change and courage to pursue her passions have led her on an incredible journey, from foster child to independent filmmaker.

Born to Nigerian parents in New York City, Aimiende “Aimi” Negbenebor Sela ’04 spent her childhood between two continents. Shortly after her birth, Sela’s parents separated, and her father returned to Nigeria, leaving her mother to raise their two young daughters alone. By the time Sela was two, financial hardships led her mother to make a heart-wrenching decision — she gave up her youngest daughter, sending Sela to live in Nigeria under the legal guardianship of distant relatives.

Sela lived in relative comfort in her foster home. Her foster mother, a half-sister of her father, was the wealthy owner of an estate in Lagos, with plenty of room for Sela and four other foster siblings. While the children didn’t want for material things, affection was scarce, so when Sela’s father resurfaced when she was 10, she moved in with him. While living with a biological parent was an improvement in some ways, it was a challenge in others. “My foster family was wealthy, but my dad’s family was not,” explains Sela. The wealth disparity became especially clear to her when suddenly, her school fees weren’t being paid on time, and buying a new pencil meant forgoing

lunch. She continued to wear shoes long after she outgrew them, and her school uniform was ripped and patched too many times to count.

The transition has had lasting effects on Sela. “My teenage years began and ended in poverty,” she says. “Who you see yourself as, your self-esteem, those ideas are formed during those preteen, teenage years. For me, they were formed in poverty.” She credits this experience with helping her develop a balanced outlook on life. “I know what it is like to have, and I know what it’s like not to have,” she says. “For instance, I hate waste. I think little things like that are embedded in my personality from living those two opposite lives.”

Coming (back) to America Finding her true passion

Sela meeting and being embraced by Silver- life story and encouraged her to develop it berg’s wife, children and extended family. into a short film. The two worked together “He started off as my mentor and then he to create their first-ever film project, “Asa, brought me into his family,” Sela says. While a Beautiful Girl,” which won Best Short there was no formal adoption process, given Film at Reel Sisters of The Diaspora Film that Sela was over 18, she signified her new- Festival in 2013, as well as recognition at found belonging by adding “Sela” to her last several other festivals. Despite the warm name — a Hebrew translation of Silverberg, reception, Sela is self-critical of the work, meaning “boulder.” as she looks back. “It’s horrible!” she says with a laugh. “It shows all the mistakes a novice would make.” Still, it was this projA co-op student, Sela finished her educa- ect that prompted her to realize: “This is tion at Stevens in five years, earning a B.E. what I want to do for the rest of my life.” in computer engineering and a B.A. in literature. Following graduation, she worked In the director’s chair in computer engineering roles at several With several subsequent films under her belt, high-profile companies, including Ralph Sela is now a fulltime filmmaker and founder Lauren, Accenture and Lehman Brothers and sole owner of a production company, before she decided to make a change. “I Sela Films, LLC. Based in Southern CaliforAt 17, Sela reconnected with her biological found my way out of that world because I nia, she is currently working on writing and mother, who invited her to move back to just didn’t fit in corporate America,” Sela producing a musical drama called “As the New York. After about a year of living together, the family dynamic became strained. Following repeated threats of being “We all have the same wants, hurts and desires, but so sent back to Nigeria, Sela decided to leave. “I was just tired of not being much divides us and makes us miss out on wonderful wanted,” she reflects. “It’s exhausting.” A student at Hunter College at the experiences with each other ... I believe we all live the same time, she stayed with friends but was also homeless for a few months lives, we’re just colored differently.” until she could secure an apartment through the school. It was around this time that Sela found something that she didn’t expect — a family. explains. “I realized there was this artistic Cookie Crumbles,” a story about love, loss

While volunteering with a Harlem side of me that I really wanted to pursue.” and unlikely connections. Much of her work community youth organization, Sela met To make ends meet while she explored centers on bridging gaps across experiences the man she has come to know as her a new field, Sela began working in Silver- and cultures — themes that have been espeadoptive father, David Silverberg. A Stevens berg’s Bronx, New York, machine shop in cially relevant in her own life. “We all have alumnus (Class of ’67) and mechanical exchange for room and board in her new the same wants, hurts and desires, but so engineer, Silverberg took an interest in Sela’s family’s home. When she wasn’t working much divides us and makes us miss out on education when she mentioned she was on developing prototype video cameras and wonderful experiences with each other,” says considering a major in computer science accessories, she was taking acting lessons, Sela. “I believe we all live the same lives, we’re at Hunter. “You should look at Stevens!” he booking modeling jobs and auditioning for just colored differently.” v — Erin Lewis gushed. Silverberg guided Sela through the theatrical roles. application process, and she was admitted A close friend, who directed her in a  Learn more about what Sela is working in 1999. Their relationship continued, with few theatrical pieces, was inspired by Sela’s on at selafilms.com