ROCKET LULLABY Shattered Peace, Unbroken Spirits

Our lullabies are the sounds of sirens and rockets at night. On February 24th, we were awakened by the sounds of explosions; Russian missiles had bombed our city. How many beloved things do you have in your home? When you hear explosions, you hold onto the most valuable thing with both hands. I took my dogs, a carrier with a cat, and documents.

In the first three months of the war, I was engulfed in wild fear. I didn’t know where to run, I worried about my family and my dogs, I couldn’t sleep peacefully, and I didn’t know what would happen next. But my husband and I stayed in the city. We are veterinarians, and we were needed here. We have our own veterinary clinic, and we take care of our staff. We couldn’t leave and abandon everything.

In the spring of 2022, few veterinary clinics and pet stores were open. We were one of them. People could chip their animals for travel, vaccinate them, buy food. We helped with document processing. The thought that I was needed at home calmed me down, although even during work, I was extremely nervous. My family, all of whom are doctors, also stayed in the city. We all made the decision to be more useful in our workplaces.

In March, I couldn’t find the usual dog food for my girls: Kayla, a Rhodesian Ridgeback, Ru and Vangari, Basenjis. I had to give them whatever was available, but it caused an allergy in Kayla, and she scratched herself badly. But there were no other options. There was also a shortage of food for people in stores. I remember my messenger constantly ringing. Every day, we talked to friends and Ridgeback owners. I am immensely grateful to the European aid group, RR, from Ukraine because they helped transfer money, buy food, find accommodation, and transportation for Ukrainians from RR who were left homeless. My Ridgeback breeders, Maja and Mirela, offered me to come to Croatia with my dogs for safety. Although I couldn’t leave my husband and go, the thought that I had somewhere to go and that I had loving friends calmed me down a lot. It gave me strength.

Before the war, my husband and I were planning to have children, open a second clinic, attend many dog shows. I brought a dog from the EU for breeding, which had just become a Baby Champion. I didn’t travel to shows in other countries because I was afraid to leave the country and come back while my loved ones might be dead. Now, I’m happy that my dogs are alive, healthy, and have strong nerves. They are not afraid of explosions, but they always wear collars with tags that have my contact information. Many dogs get lost during explosions. My hormonal system went crazy from stress, and the doctor prescribed antidepressants. Many Ukrainians have depression, even if they don’t realize it. They need help. Almost every family has experienced death or injuries. My family lived in the occupied city of Mariupol for 14 days. Their house burned down, but they brought a 14-year-old little dog with them, nothing else. One of my employees had her father killed by a shell on the front line. The military came to our clinic to inform us about it. I will never forget that day. On Facebook, I try to post more positive news, but displaced people come to the clinic every day. Pets with PTSD, many people start crying when they tell their stories. Every day, you’re strong, brave, in a good mood, and smiling, but then you can hear a song and burst into tears. We are strong for others.

Dogs are my haven of tranquility, daily walks, falling asleep together under a blanket, playing fetch, even amidst war and death. I plan to breed only after the war ends. A responsible and thoughtful breeder would not breed Rhodesian Ridgeback puppies knowing that during an explosion, every- one could die, that during an air raid, you cannot save them all, that during the curfew at night, you cannot call a doctor. Right now, our goal is to preserve what we love.

Kayla carries birds and was raised as a gun-dog, but during the war, the hunting season is closed, shooting is prohibited, and it is terrifying to walk in the fields as they may be mined. Every Ukrainian is afraid of loud sounds, and I don’t know how long it will take. We try to choose safe places for her to continue training; currently, she retrieves pheasants and partridges without a gun.

I want to express my gratitude to all my friends from RR who write words of support and help us –it saves us. I hug everyone with love and gratitude.