STAN THE GOOD SHABBOS MAN
Rosh Hashana 2024
Shofar, Soooooo Good
Sketch by Ari Lyons…..
FOR YEARS, THE ONLY “YIDDISHER” OWNED CAR BUSINESS IN MANY ‘DORPIES’ ON THE PLATTELAND, FROM POTCHEFSTROOM TO MIDDLEBURG & BETWEEN… CONTACT BRAD & CLIVE BLECHMAN FOR THE BEST MOTOR DEAL IN THE DORP & CITY.. YOU’VE GOT AN UNCLE IN THE MOTOR BUSINESS EASTVAAL MOTORS
From the beloved country may you have a shana tova and easy fast. May Hashem inscribe all of you for a healthy and prosperous year
From the Beloved Country may you have a shana tova and easy fast. May Hashem inscribe all of you for a healthy and prosperous year)
What started out as a exercise to learn how to use a Komputta 24 years ago, I started sending a weekly Shabbos letter to my family & friends overseas….and it grew into my hobby …..For the few years, it was virtually only overseas Yidden reading the letter….. It grew like wildfire, as the Politics were Tukka ‘U get what I see” and the Jokes were a ‘Bietjie’ ‘Vuil’ (Rough…). …and each week, more and more people were asking to join the letter….
It became a hobby, and it was very easy to do, as I wrote the weekly Meisa, which was 2/3 pages, and got replies which I do reply to….. ….The problem with sending out big newsletters is that eventually they get spammed//not delivered ….. The readers have aged with me, and as I am in my sentries, many readers are also aged, and battle to get the letter……… With the help of the Late Hilly Golombick, I started the website, so that those that don’t get the letter can always access it on the website…..The little Hobby had turn 360 degrees, into a very ‘Lebbedikke’ hobby, with me posting up to 10,000 Pichaaaaa’s each year, and the subscribers grew and before I knew it I was getting soooo much correspondence, and I must say that 98% of all personal E-mails were replied to, and the news I receive each week, keeps the stories rolling…….
In 2001 when 9/11 happened, a year after I started, they correspondence was huge, and it was virtually all on e-mail……Things have changed, and a still get many e-mails, BUT…… WhatsApp at the moment are king, BUT I am sure that in future twitter/ X etc will take over….???? Progress they say, methinks it’s a ‘Kop Dreynis’……. I am always pointed out that the letter is generally a happy go lucky letter and no Seriaaaaaaaaaaas stuff, BUT 7/10 has changed that and one cannot ignore what has happened not only to Israel/ Yidden worldwide, and in fact the whole world…….. The actual question of whole is correct, has been distorted by the ‘Galeria’s’ and they knew how Israel would act to their Barbarism, and the world has been turned upside down……. When we look at Campus invasions in America that were funded, rioting around the world, in honour of ‘Hamas’(Sic, not Palestine) its shocking and one wonders how this Drek will ever come to an end…… The poor hostages who have been held like animals for a year, are Tukka the Hero’s and Yidden worldwide pray for their release (alive) which seems to be getting further & further away……
Our very own Government in the Beloved Country has been totally against the Yidden before our elections, and currently a lot of the anger has subsided…..Was it a ploy to get votes, which went horribly wrong, and the ANC are no more the dominant party they were…… A few Ministers, like Geyton Mc Kenzie has come out strongly in favour of the Yidden of Souff Effikka, and we no more see many parliamentarians wearing their ‘Keffiyea’ to work……. It has not been proved, BUT…..funds were most probably received from Iran, to start the International court cases…..
Hopefully, the New Year will bring stability to all Yidden around the World…..
Like to thank my sponsors who assist in keeping the ‘Letter’ going, and to Rabbi ‘Yossy’ Goldman for the weekly Vort, which arrives without fail….
A ‘Gutte’ Yomtov to Allllllllllllllllllllllll Stan The Good Shabbos Man https://www.stantgsm.com/
David Shaw, ‘Rav’ of BHH Sandton Shul.
By Rabbi Shaw
There are so many Mitzvot in the Torah that we can do. Especially with Rosh Hashanah coming up so soon! In his book, Mitzvot Ha’katzar, the Chafetz Chaim of blessed memory lists that of the 613, including 248 positive ones and 365 negative ones, only 77 positive and 194 negative Mitzvot apply to us, post the destruction of the Temple.
There are so many opportunities to do good in the eyes of Hashem. There are also a fair number of sins that we can transgress (chas ve’shalom). What is one of the worst things that we are all pretty much guilty of? It is the source of so many of the negative things that we all do. I think it is one single word that we should totally excise from our vocabulary. It has after all, caused us so much tzsoris during the course of our lives and now its time to go once and for all. The word of course is the word but. Let me explain why.
How many times do we say, we would like to be more Jewish … but! We would like to more good deeds …but! We would like to speak less Losh, or eat more kosher, or attend Shul more…but! The word but, just lets us of the hook. Whatever we were inspired to do, the word but douses the passion and leaves nothing in the wake of something that could have been an awesome thing to do. So, I guess my advice to you, in the lead up to the High Holydays is short, sweet and potentially transformational. Simply, get off your buts!
Consolidation 2024………………………
What is actually going to happen to the ‘Yiddisher’ community in the ‘Beloved Country’ looking ahead..??? The numbers are declining at a hectic pace, and we have Tukka lost the ‘The Cream of the Crop’…….. Many Yidden are looking at Immigration as the answer? It is not only the Yidden, BUT….across the board, black, white, coloured Indian are immigrating….
What happens to the Community that is left, which is much smaller, BUT….still have the infrastructure that has been created, to take care of….???? Methinks that because the community is a very close knit unit by and large, things should stay the same…BUT…….it is not what the ‘Yiddisher’ community want, BUT….what the country wants, and methinks that things are very volatile at the moment, and the insecurity with our Government ‘Balabatim’ is at danger point ……. With the ‘Buffalo’ (Cyril Ramaphosa) the Presidente, without much power…… and his creation of the International court case against Israel, leaves the Yiddisher community on edge
Since ’94, the position/condition of the majority of the population has Tukka gone down, and only a small amount of previously disadvantaged people have benefited and of course the High fliers, who have been scoring off Tenders fraud/state capture etc. …How long can Souff Effrikka afford the cost of ‘Gunvining’ on the humungous scale that has been going on…….??? It is E-mazing how low these Gunovim will stoop to get money, and during the Covid pandemic we saw how soooo many honourable members managed to just of the bandwagon and benefits from the Pandemic….Not one Gonif has been put in jail yet…..quite a few are on suspension, most on full pay, and when the leave their ‘cushy’ Government jobs they still get their benefits & pensions….. The best example is Jacob Zuma, who virtually brought the country to its feet, during the ‘State Capture ‘days with his Chavers the Gupta’s….. gets his full ex Presidente salary/ pension every month, and after 20 years has still not been charged as they can’t get him into a court…????-
The Souff Effrikken ‘Ethos’ has been destroyed by the Governments continual inaction against crime, Kamikaze Taxi gangsters, Unions etc……. and now the latest bombshell is the ‘organized’ Rioting / looting that takes place , and still no arrests for the July riots in mainly Kwa Zulu Natal………..This is a ‘Groiser’ one, and I believe that by now, someone should have been arrested as the Ringleader of the Tzorris…..…. BUT…. looking back at past mistakes by the Government in dealing with these things has been disastrous, and one only has to look at Eishhhhhkom, Helllllkom, SAA etc, and be very worried about how they will manage to successfully put an end to such destruction…. …
On a positive note, the ANC did not get a majority and has had to accept the GNU to run the country, which has been very positive in the first few months, and if it lasts for the 5 years, the ‘Beloved Country’ could see a good recovery, BUT….will the GNU last ?????
Then there are a small minority of the population called ‘Yidden’ trying to carry on ‘as normal’…..not possible, and NOTHING has been done to start consolidating resources, and NO one has stepped up to make it happen…..????….. Unfortunately, the community is an ageing community, and it is that much more difficult to maintain the huge infrastructure that we have…… Immigration is a reality, and according to stats, many Yidden have started making Aliyah, as it has become too difficult for families to manage in the normal immigration haunts like Oz, USofA ,UK and Canada …………Times are very hard at the moment, and proper leadership is needed to keep the community intact ….Continually stretching scarce ‘Yiddisher’ resources, will see a total collapse of the community…. We
saw that Our Parents’ Home in Oakland’s had to be closed down, due to failing numbers and rising costs…. And many of the Shul’s are battling to stay open, due to the failure of congregants not returning after the Covid pandemic and deaths during Covid, and Immigration which is a big one….. How long will all the Yiddisher Schools be able to be viable, with numbers dropping every year….????? … We have seen Shuls curtaining off part of the seating, so the Shul’s do not look ‘Umadik’ (Empty)……
On the brighter side (if there is one) many Yidden are starting to make Israel as their first choice for Immigration, and that is wonderful to see….. Not only youngsters as in the past, BUT….. many family units are starting to make Aliyah ……it’s wonderful to see, but we are losing many top members of the community……..
At the moment there is a ‘Skrikky’ amount of Yidden who have fallen on bad times, and in most cases it is a question of not how they got into these situations, BUT….. What we have to ask ourselves, what happens now…???? Does the Community keep growing in every direction, or should we not consolidate, and work together…?????? …..Time for the ‘Balabatim’ to make some wise choices……
The South African Jewish community need some Tough Leaders with wisdom to go forward…… The latest Phoneathones are a short term solution, as there have been so many, that Donors are getting donor fatigue …when will Organizations, Schools, Shuls, Jewish facilities realize that there are very few sponsors left, and there is a free for all to attract funds from a scarce resource…. The time has arrived to Consolidate instead of expand….. One of the biggest negatives for donor funds is that the Chev, who supply such a much needed facility for the whole Jewish Community are seeing donations getting very hard to get ……..Where do Yidden go when they need help…??? The Chev, and they expect the Chev to have the funds….From where. ???
Don’t have to be Einstein to see what is happening…..As Yidden move from traditional suburbs ,so the Yiddisher facilities start to battle, and in Joburg, most Yiddisher food outlets have moved into the Shtetl, to try and attract business….. Many Shull’s are battling, BUT….keep the Shuls going at GR88888 expense and battle for a Minyan….. Even Schools are starting to feel the pinch with most of the Yiddisher Kinderlach in Yiddisher schools, with a few at NON Jewish schools……and as immigration grows, so the intakes battle…..
Read an interesting couple of letters written by the Late Lubavitcher Rebbe M.Schneerson on Aliya, and involving the South African Zionist Federation /Jewish Board of Deputies, represent by their Chairman’s 40 years ago, Itz Kalmanowitz & I Abramowitz …..They had written to the Rebbe about the Lubavitch movement wanting to open their own school, and the poor financial situation of existing Jewish Schools, and how the Lubavitch movement could be integrated into the struggling Jewish educational system 40 years ago, and their worry that it would further split resources, and due to the Zionist Fed’s Aliya drive, there would not be enough resources for a new school in the system……. The Rebbe went on to send a VERY detailed reply on Aliya, and why it was not always the best answer…??? His reply was fascinating, and 40 years later we are still grappling with the same problem…. Diminishing Jewish community, with every sect wanting its ‘OWN’….. I found this correspondence fascinating……..
We are still seeing GR88888888 expansion all over…Schools/Shteibels/ Charity Org etc….Time to consolidate
Stan The Good Shabbos Man.
‘King’ Solly Krok & his Zunnelle Martin
Anton & Lisa Heyman
Aviva & Daniel Turtledove
Brad Blechman & Steven Riesenberg
Alan Lazar (Stan & Pete waiter)
Arnaldo Mandel & Mark Sundelson
Bernard Shul, Julyan Amler, Krasner, Selwyn Fein,Gersun & Stan Klaff
Brian & Helen Feinstein
Andrew Heilbrun
Avi Kay & Doc Anton Myburgh
Bobba with the Meidlach
Chaim Schneider & Avron Lang
Sandringham Strip in the Shtetl……….Glenhazel.
The Sandringham ‘Kosher’ strip is Tukka still a very good shopping area, with most of the Shopkella’s having had a ‘Makeover’…. The Shopkella’s offer Good wholesome ‘Gericten’ for the Yidden and it continues to E-maze…….. Methinks that it is still the busiest strip of ‘Kosher’ shops in Joburg….
Tiberius Fish Shoppe, owned by Barry Beder , an old Hotel School Chaver. Has been going for many years and continues to come up with new dishes …. His Fish Burger is E-mazing and I must say that their ‘Vis & Tjips’ are the best…….. Fresher fish is still in the sea…… Barry has been on the strip for many years, and one of the only original pioneers who opened up on the Strip………The fish offering is superb, and he also does a lot of Baking, and his Banana breads are to die for……Barry also does Catering and does many Simcha’s, Brocha’s etc…..…….
Maxi’s Butcher & Chicken Shop has some E-mazing items on offer, and there Biltong & Dried Boerie’s is always available….. They have Braaaaaaaaaaaied meat, and you can order it pre-cooked, and save the hassle……. Trevor is always trying new ‘Gerichten’ and his Smoked Pastrami is a winner….. A large variety of Poultry products available…..They again had the Lag’B’Omer get together which was really lovely, with the Yiddisher Gerichten which was Geschmuck …… One of our Chefs ‘Drikkus’ has been @ Maxi’s for the past few years, making dishes for takeways….. They Perogen are ssuperb….Quite E-mazing that Blintzes are less popular (oily), BUT the Perogen are very popular.
This Year Max went into retirement, BUT….still pops in on busy days….. Mazeltov to Max & Rena who went to OZ for their Einingkels Barmitzvah……
My Barber’s Tony & Karmen
In 1972 I started going to Tony & Karmen for a haircut…..They were in Plein Street, in the same building as my Hotel School…… They then moved to Corlett Drive, and they are now in the Blu Bird shopping Centre..
Nick Scarcella has been cutting my hair for the past 52 years, and this year, Nick celebrated his 85th, Birthday…..
A nicer guy you don’t find……. Nick has just come back from Italy, where he went for a much deserved holiday..
Karmen retired a few years ago, and Stuart , who is also still there has been with Nick for 30 years… HAPPY 85TH. BIRTHDAY NICK.
Tony & Karmen
My Barber for 51 years!
E-mail: nathan@idealfurn.co.za Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm • Saturday 9am to 1pm • Sunday 9.30 am to 1pm NATHAN FINE & AND MENDEL MEYER AND THEIR FAMILY WISHES ALL THEIR FRIENDS, FAMILY & CUSTOMERS A HAPPY NEW YEAR AND WELL OVER THE FAST.
MAXI DISCOUNT KOSHER
Butchery, Sandringham ‘Kosher’ Strip.... Now also the best ‘Chix’ in town
Tel: (011) 485-1485
GR888888888888 ‘Biltong + Boeries’, Dry Wors…
Mrs. Cohen to Mrs Levy
‘’ You know my son took medicine for a year.’’
Mrs. Levy .’’ Which University was he studying at .?’’ She replies .’’ No, he was sick,’’
The penalty for bigamy. Two mothers in law.
Sign in the Kosher Deli . Credit cards will only be accepted if you are over 85 and accompanied by both parents.
Mothers and grandmothers believed that chicken soup was a cure for all. It cured every sickness , except ingrown toe nails.
An Customer sitting in a restaurant asks the waiter. ‘’ Do you have matzo balls.’’ The waiter , belches .’’ No. I always walk like this.’’
Sign on a Shul door. Hashem is well . Visiting 24 hours every day .
The Jews have too much history and too little geography.
Ninety year old Simon dies and goes to heaven. The first person he sees there is his own Rabbi Bloom, who had died a few months earlier.
Simon was shocked to see the Rabbi sitting in a heavenly chair with a very busty blonde sitting on his lap.
Simon cries. ‘’ Oh Rabbi, how could you ? In all the times I knew you , you were always the most righteous of all men in our congregation . What happened to you.?. Why are you acting in such a disgusting way. ? Is she your reward. ?’’
Rabbi Bloom replies. ‘’ My dear Simon. You are unfortunately misreading the situation. She is not my reward. I am her punishment.’’ ( Einaaaaaaaaah….)
‘’Listen to me Jerry, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia . You will have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you. ‘’ Advised the doctor. Jerry replied.’’ I know, but I cannot . My wife refuses to sleep alone.’’ (Oy……….)
Financial advice……(Near Dave Shapiro’s write up).
Save your money and buy yourself a calculator , that is what counts. A dollar goes very fast these days , but not very far. Man cannot live on bread alone . He has to have credit cards. All you can get for a dollar today is change . A happy wife today is one who has everything that credit can buy. There is no place like home , if you have not got a credit card to go out . Money talks. In Chinese . Money cannot buy happiness. But it sure goes a long way towards a down payment . The mint makes money first .It is up to us to make it last.
Talmud studies…………….
Abe went to see his Rabbi and asked him.
‘’ Rabbi, I would be grateful if you could explain the Talmud to me.’’’’
‘’ Very well ,Abe, but first I need to ask you a simple question .’’ Said the Rabbi.
‘’ If two men climb inside a chimney and one comes out dirty and the other one comes out clean, which one washes himself.?’’
‘’ The dirty one ‘’ Replied Abe .
The Rabbi replies. ‘’ No Abe, they look at each other, the dirty man thinks he is clean, and the clean man thinks he is dirty and washes.’’
‘’ Now another question .’’ Said the Rabbi, ‘’If two men climb inside a chimney and one comes out dirty and the other one comes out clean, which one washes himself.?’’
Abe smiled ‘’ You just told me that the one, Rabbi, the clean man , because he thinks he is dirty ‘‘
Said the Rabbi. ‘’ No Abe . They each look at themselves . The clean man knows that he ‘ does not have to wash and the dirty man washes himself.’’
‘’ Now one final question ,Abe.’’ Said the Rabbi.
‘’ If two men climb inside a chimney and one comes out dirty and the other comes out clean
which one washes himself.?’’
This time Abe frowned . ‘’ I do not know Rabbi . It could be either one . Depending on your point of view .’’
Said the Rabbi’’ No Abe. If two men climb inside a chimney, how could either of them come out clean?’’
Abe was now thoroughly confused.’’ Rabbi, you asked me the exactly question three times and gave me three different answers are you playing a game with me.?’’
The Rabbi replied.’’ No Abe, I would never joke with you.
This is Talmud learning.’’ ( Otazay………………)
Jokes that would lead to a definite divorce ,;
After my wife died , I could not even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I am out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it.
Got an email from a ‘’ bored housewife 32 , looking for some action’’
I have sent her my ironing , that will keep her busy ..
You will need extra caution while driving over the new year period as a lot of drunk
men will get their wives to drive home.
My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm .
Did anyone get an owner’s manual for a wife .? Mines giving off a terrible whining noise . !
My wife apologised for the first time ever today. She said she is sorry she ever married me. .
My wife said I needed to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car , burnt the dinner and ignored her all day for no reason. Things turned really ugly at my house last night. My wife removed her make up.
My wife shouted at me this morning for not opening the car door for her .
I would have but I was too busy swimming to the surface.
What does a French woman say when she is making love. ‘’Ah IC`est merveilleux’’
An Italian woman.’’Ah ! Oo ! Che Mereavigliosa .’’
A Jewish woman .. ‘’ Sam , the ceiling needs painting.’’
Michael Wilder, emigrating from Chelm and went for his final papers at the USA embassy .
‘’ Where do you live now ? ‘’ Asked the judge.
‘’Who me .?’’’
‘’Yes you.’’
‘’ On Centre street,’’ He replied.
‘’ What do you do ? ‘’ Asked the judge .
‘’Who me ?’’
‘’Yes you ‘’ Michel then replied. ‘’ I am a tailor.’’
‘’ How old are you ? ‘’ Asked the judge.
‘’ Who me. ‘’ Asked Michael .
‘’ No me ‘’ Said the judge in frustration.
Replied Michael .’’ Well, judge I would say you were between fifty and fifty five.’’
Early one morning Patrick and Christopher are walking past the shul on Main Street
Patrick says:
“So how many people do you think are in this large synagogue Christopher?”
His friend replies with an air of knowledge:
“There are exactly nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine people in the synagogue”
“Wow!” says Patrick
“How on earth did you know that?”
Christopher explains:
“Because yesterday morning I heard one of them come out and say to a passerby that they were one short of a milyan”
Two Rabbis were discussing their problems with mice in the attic of their Shul . One of the Rabbis said.’’ We simply call an exterminator and we never see the mice again.
The other Rabbi said.
‘’ We gave them all a Barmitzvah and we never saw them again….(Oyvevoy….)
It was a terrible night , blowing cold and snow in a most frightful manner .
The streets were deserted and the baker was just about to close up shop . An orentleecher Jewish old mentsh , very tsechrogen , slipped through the door.
He carried an umbrella which was now inside out. He was wearing two sweaters and a thick coat. But even so he looked wet was freezing and bedraggled . As he unwound his scarf he said to the baker. ‘’ May I please have two poppy seed bagels to go. ‘‘
The baker asked in astonishment .’’ Two bagels . Nothing more.?’’
The man answered . ‘’ That is right . One for me and one for Denise .’’
The baker asked. ‘’ Is Denise your wife.?’’
Snapped the man. ‘’ What do you think ? Af di eltere yoren ( in my old age…) .
Do you think my mother would send me out on a night like this.?’’
Yossel sat next to Shmulik at the back of the Shul. Every five minutes Shmulick
shuffled his feet and winced in pain. ‘’ What is the matter Shmulik ?’’ Whispered Yossel . Schmulik says. ‘’ It is my feet . They are killing me. My shoes are too small .’’Asks Yossel.’’ Why do you wear shoes that small.?’’ Schmulik replies. ‘’ Ach. Two weeks ago I lost my job. My wife Sadie complains of rheumatism all day and won’t let me get near her. I cannot pay my accounts . My son has abandoned his studies and my daughter has run off with some guy. But when I take my shoes off life seems wonderful.
There are many emails being sent to people asking Jewish people to donate money to Egypt . Please do not send money because it is nothing but a pyramid scheme .
Barney likes to call his wife Mezuzah, because she loves to be kissed. Twelve year old son and asks.’’ Dad ,how much does it cost to get married. ?’’
UP THE BOKKE!
COME AND SEE FOR YOURSELVES, WE’VE GOT THE STOCK TO MAKE YOUR PARTY TICK! FULL RANGE OF BOK GEAR!
Highlaaaaaands Manne
Since the 50th re union of the class of 1968, we started meeting every few months and it has been a ‘Michiel’ to take with guys about school some over 60 years ago….
It is mainly the Class of 1968/9/70 ……………….. We meet in at various palces and there is not set agenda, just a good Huck…… Jules Hirschowitz from the class of 1968 puts it together with Ivor Berger who runs the WhatsApp group……. A lot of Music is on the WhatsApp and many general subjects….
Very lucky to have a Photo E-fundi in Geoff (Fuzzy) Shar…..
Chaver & Chaver
Chossen Kallah
David Marks & his Zunnelle’s
Dermick & Feigen’s
Chilling area
Chossens Chaver, Bulafkin, Davidson & Ross Tucker (1)
Dawn & Ilan Kohaly & Lionel & Karen Milstein
Errol & Tracy Shneier
Chip
Darryl & Tanya Josselowitz
Dean Murinik & his Zunnelle
Ettie & Rabbi Klein
The bank manager asked Issy why he did not deposit enough money to cover his withdrawals ?
Issy thinking quickly came up with this reply. ‘’ You see, Mr. Pistorius it was a Jewish holy day.’’
Said Mr, Pistorius . ‘’ That is unusual , I thought I knew all the Jewish holy days. Which one was it.?
Issy replied. ‘’ Erev Mechullah ‘’ ( Ag Neeeeeee…….)
TEACHING MATHS FROM 1950 TILL TODAY in this Meshugana world of WOKE……
1. Teaching Math In 1950...
A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? $____
2 Teaching Math In 1970..
A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? $___
3 Teaching Math In 1990..
A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
__Yes or __No
4. Teaching Math In 2000..
A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 2015..
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question:
down their homes.
6. Teaching Math in 2022
Math is Racist. Students no longer need any math skills to Graduate school.
2+2 = 4, or 22 whatever you feel is correct. There are no wrong answers, feel free to express your feelings e.g., anger, anxiety, inadequacy, helplessness etc.
Should you require debriefing at the conclusion of the exam there are Counsellors available to assist you in adjusting back into the real world.
times a day and put on Tefillin every morning. One night he heard a noise downstairs while he was lying in bed.
Having no fear for his safety he went downstairs to see what it was.
It was a burglar and he was putting Bobba’s silver goblets and candlesticks into a bag.
This made Zaida very angry and he shouted at him to stop .
He then tried to take the bag away from him but when he reached for it , the burglar pulled out a knife from the bag and he was just about to stab Zaida ,when all of a sudden Bobba screamed out.
‘’ Nisht mir der Milchik messer.!’’ ( Not with the Milchik knife…..Eishhhhhhhh)
A reporter , interviewing Rabbi Seligman after a bold of lightning had struck the Shul roof and sent it crashing down into ruins asked the Rabbi.
‘’Rabbi , what was your reaction when you saw this terrible devastation ? ‘‘
The Rabbi chuckled .’’ My first reaction was thank goodness we took out insurance against the acts of G-D .’’
In a small Russian shtetl .
The community council decides to pay a poor Jew a rubble a week to sit at the towns entrance and be the first to greet the Messiah when he arrives. The man’s brother comes to see him, and is puzzled why he took such a low paying job. The poor man responds.’’ It is true , the pay is low, but it is a steady job. ‘’
How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut
Zaida Benny was very religious . He prayed three
The Rabbi prayed to HASHEM to please get the rich to give to the poor . HASHEM answered half the prayer.The poor have agreed to accept .
tovah u’metukah.
Evan & Yael Posner
Harry & Robyn Joffe
Ian Friedland & Shaun Devries
Jarred & Tali Brittany
Ganser Mishpocha
Hazel Lerman & Stan Smookler
Ilan Shein with the ‘Meidlach’
Julie Moritz & Jules Gecelter
Gary & Fiona Cahn
Howard Sackstein, Gary Rutsein, Rob Katz & Rabbi Zulberg
“The Smoekies “ Liran, Batsheva & Jayden
Karen & Doc Mark Kadish
Kivi Bernhard & his Schvester
Les & Jules Gordon
Marc, Sharron, Diana & Irvine
Minister Geyton Mc Kenzie & Rabbi Levi Lipskar
Krynauw Otto & Greg Friedman
Mannie & Debra Witz
Mazeltov
Moshe Lichtenstein & Avi Levy -Chuppa Band
Larry Noik & Shapiro
Marc & Karen Chertkow
Michael Freeman , Vinniger Fanie’ & Martin Smookler
Moushkie & Yosef Bacher
My Einingklach
Oooom Solly Krok, Dave Serebro & Rabbi Kieveman
Rael & Cindy Polakow
Rose & Bernie Gewer
Nichols Ingel, Bernard Hotz & Adrian Gore
Rabbi Rodeny & Rebetzin Wendy Richard
Robbie Segal & Gary Rutstein
Ryan & Bianca
Noou Braaaaaai Ons..
Rabbi Ron Hendler & Steven Osherowitz
Ronnie & Shelana Dribbin
Selwyn Fein & The Grand President Teper
Shaun De Vries & Trevor Sacks
Stan Smookler & Dricus Du Plessis
The Kangissers
The Retinue
Shlomo Milner & Wayne Miller
The Bulafkin’s
The Kantors
The Smoekies
Stan Marcus
Rabbi Ron Hendler & Steven Osherowitz
The Myburgh’s
The Urdang’s
Buffet by Riva Flax Caterers
Canapes by G & T Caterers
Food, Glorious food……………2024
The Kosher food establishments have changed over the last few years since the Covid pandemic…….
The bigger varieties of butchers, bakers, restaurants, caterers etc, has started to shrink with many well know names closing down…..
The RTG restaurant that started many years ago in Norwood, has closed in Norwood and moved into the heart of the Shtetl next to Freshfellows…… The Segells Butcher which opened opposite Ohrsom, has started a little Bakery also….. The Friends Bakery (who are like Duracell batteries) just keeps on going, and has opened a new restaurant 2 Friends in the shopping centre ….. In Genesis they have made the Phat Joe’s restaurant into a Kosher Pizzeria…. Gary has reopened as G & T Caterers and has his kitchen opposite the Ohrsom complex……We have some Gr8888888 family eateries like Burger ‘n Brew, Michelos, …. Frangelico’s Tukka a Lekker meeting place….. (Can’t name all the outlets, BUT….They are good)
A problem I see is that as the community shrinks, so the Beth Din “ Seem” to have become VERY lenient, and rules that have applied for the past 50 years, don’t seem to hold these days, and the ‘Kosher Style’ Catering has become ‘Rosh’…..
I have been asking for the past 50 years.. ”What is a Kosher Style Caterer…??? And no one, including the Beth Din has an answer, BUT…..the past year has seen the creation of at least 30 Kosher Style Caterers….Some advertise Kosher, not under Beth Din, other advertise Kosher Style, Meat is Kosher, don’t mix Meat & Milk etc… Very puzzling why none of them want to go Kosher under The Beth Din…..????
Simcha’s have become much smaller since the pre-covid days , and weddings have really become more & more scarce, with the Bigger Chasene’s having their Simcha’s in destination venues like Cape Town, Zimbali (Durban) Game Parks etc… At this stage there is Riva Flax Caterers who still have exclusive Halls, G & T Caterers (Gary Friedman) Delores ( Food by Flavours) Cater at hired Venues and Estelle Sacherowitz….. You then have Sharon Sheer and Jodi Kruger who have Beth Din approved Co-ordination licences (not sure what this category means) and the rest of the Caterers are ‘Kosher’ style….. Virtually every Kosher food outlet, from butcheries to Bakers to Candlestick makers do some sort of Simcha catering…
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Beverage control at Weddings, Barmitzvah’s, Hotels and Corporate functions.I also do Barman services for all functions. No function is to big or to small. 20 Years experience
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Okey Geffin-The Yiddisher Rugger hero ..
Okey Geffen- One of the Best ‘Yiddisher’ Boks……. Interesting ‘Meisa’s’
In one of the coldest winters Poland had experienced, a young South African called Okey Geffin had time on his hands and lofty thoughts in his head as he pondered his bleak future. He was 21, he was a British army prisoner of war of Germany, and in 1943 there was no clear indication as to how World War Two would pan out. Geffin, a Joburger, had joined up with many South African youngsters at the outbreak of the war in 1939. They were youngsters keen for adventure and absorbed into Britain’s Eighth Army. Soon they were sent to northern Africa to fight the illustrious Afrika Korps, who were commandeered by the famous general Erwin Rommel.
Around 12,000 South Africans were killed in the conflict, most of them in the deserts of Libya and Egypt, and in the Battle of Tobruk much of the Eighth Army was taken prisoner.
Thousands of South Africans were interned in prisoner-of-war camps, along with many Australians and New Zealanders.
Boredom would become a danger to mental health but the South Africans had some guiding lights in their number, including a Durban school teacher called Bill Payn. Payn was already a living legend because he had famously run the Comrades in his rugby boots in 1922.
Wonderfully, he had stopped at pubs along the way for gainful refreshment, and at the three-quarter point, he imbibed what he called “rocket fuel” offered to him by a saviour who had materialised out of the blue. It was a mysterious female benefactor who proffered a peach brandy that propelled Payn to the finish.
Payn volunteered for World War Two at age 46 and, along with Geffin, was taken to Stalag XX-A Poland when Rommel routed the British at Tobruk. Bill Payn had played for the Springboks in two Test matches against the British Lions in 1924 and had played many a game as a flank forward for Natal.
The Maritzburg College old boy had become an institution as a teacher and rugby coach at DHS and when he saw thousands of young men despondent in their imprisonment in Poland, he organised rugby tournaments to keep them busy. It was Payn who organized a Tri-Nations tournament between South Africa, New Zealand and Australia. He noticed a major talent in a stocky prop called Geffin. Now Geffin was harbouring a secret that, if revealed, would have meant his instant death. He was Jewish and this was the horrific time of the German holocaust against the Jews. Had the German warden known this, Geffin would have been executed. They did not find out and over the next two years, Payn coached Geffin into becoming one of the greatest Springboks of them all.
Payn noticed that Geffin could kick a rugby ball a mile and for two years (until the end of the war in April 1945) Geffin practiced the art of goal-kicking, under Payn’s watchful eye. That endless training would bear bountiful fruit in 1949 when the Boks at last resumed international duty. The All Blacks had been due to tour in 1946 but it would take three years before the massive disruption of World War Two calmed to a point where sports tours could resume.
The Kiwis were obsessed with beating the Boks because, in the last series between the countries, the 1937 Boks had won a series in New Zealand, 2-1.
So Fred Allen’s All Blacks docked in South Africa determined to avenge their loss of 1937. But in their way was Okey “The Boot” Geffin, who for two years had practiced his goal-kicking in the endless hours of life in a prisoner of war camp. Okey simply could not miss and the
All Blacks would lose all four Tests in what became known as the “All Blacked out” series”.
The Kiwis went home winless in a six-Test streak against the Boks dating back to 1937 and the next time they beat the Boks was in 1956. So when Siya Kolisi’s Boks took on the All Blacks in Cape Town, the talk is of them emulating the Springbok team of 1949 by winning four Tests in a row, think back to a cold, lonely Jewish South African called Okey Geffin and how he refined the art of goal-kicking while surrounded by watchful German machine guns.
A ‘Ripley’s Believe it or Not’ that another record for the late great Okey Geffen was a penalty kick that travelled the distance from Johannesburg to Cape town. This is a fact and why, Geffen look a penalty kick and if you know the layout of Ellis Park stadium there is also Ellis park train station. On this eventful day the penalty kick was taken and knowing the power of the Geffen boot, the ball cleared the grounds of the stadium and was not to be found. Lo and behold a few days later in Cape town station a porter found the illustrious missing ball from the Ellis park game.
And so the legends boot was recorded for the famous kick to be noted in the annals of history……..
In a podcast about ‘Meisa’s written about the Yiddisher Bok Minyan………. https://shows.acast.com/the-no-cigar-sports-podcast Some E-mazing stories on the podcast……
They discuss how ‘Okey’ Geffin got his first name, as there was nothing on his birth certificate. His Dad’s nicknamed him ‘Ox’….Their original name was Golombick, BUT….when they arrived his Dad did not use their name but said Geffin….. There was a well know Gonif named Golombick and decided not to use his real name. When registering Okey his Dad told immigration Okey had no Christian name, OK, and the clerk wrote Okey…???
Tukka interesting stories on the Podcast of the ‘Minyan’ I saw Okey’s Zunnelle Ronnie, who was out from Australia where he stays……..
World ‘Rugger’ Cup 2023 France……
In mid September 2023 my Zunnelle Martin WhatsApp me and says “ Hope your passport is in order, we going to the Quarter finals in Paris in 3 weeks…. Thought it was a Joke and called him the next day….. What a surprise I got when he confirmed he had tickets & flights and was taking me for a Late 70th birthday present…… What a week it was……We Tukka did a fortune in 7 days, and saw soooo much…. Quite surprising that besides the od poster and flag, we saw no hint of a World Cup taking place, and until matchday never saw a Frenchmen in their blew jerseys…Quite strange
When I put in the Shabbos letter I was going, I got many e-mails with Chavers from around the world who were also going…… Met up with my old Waiter, Doc Avram Smukler who flew in from Boca Rotan, and many, many others……. We went to the Chabad on Champ Elysees
The two games we came to watch, The Boks versus the French and the All Blacks versus Ireland are rated as two of the finest games ever, and to see two games like that in a weekend was E-mazing…
Stan Smookler with my Zunnelle Martin
Martin, Mendal Medalie, Moss Broers & Greg Cohen L’As du Falafel (English: The Ace of Falafel) is a kosher Middle Eastern restaurant located at 34, Rue des Rosiers in the “Pletzl” Jewish quarter of the Le Marais neighbourhood in Paris, France. The restaurant is acclaimed for its falafel sandwich served with eggplant and hummus……. Reckon among the best Shawarma & Falafel I have ever had….went back a few times……Outside the restaurant the Chabad have a Tefillin station virtually every day…..
for Friday night Shul and supper and sat with 24 other Souff Effrikken Yidden who were there for the weekend….Knew them all….. Was an incredible Shabbos…….
All in all, it was Tukka a lifetime experience……The beauty was you did not have to Shlepp around, as both games were at the Incredible Stad du France stadium, which we used the underground to get to….Very jacked up…… It was an unforgettable week …..
Rugger 2024………………….
I think that this year’s Championship Cup (Old Tri Nations) has been one of the Best in years with each game built up as a mas sive event…… The Puma’s, by beating all 3 ‘Groiser’ nations, have Tukka joined the top ranks of Rugger…..
Eben Etzebeth has become the most capped Bok of all time, after the Mbombela test against the Puma’s with 128 tests ….This is a humongous milestone….. and Handre Pollard has become the Bok # 2 points scorer with 743 points and of course Faf Du
Since winning the World Cup, the Waterboy has managed to convince the World that the current Boks are virtually invincible, and has not stopped playing with the side, which will eventually come unstuck, and against the Puma’s in Argentina, you could see the cracks coming, once the pressure was on, and Manie resorted to the old style ‘Skop en hardloop’ plan, that has really not been successful…. The actual playing for a penalty at scrum time is another terrible tactic, and even our useless match commentators seem to think it’s a GR88888 idea to set up a scrum to get the penalty….
The Boks have done VERY well, BUT…..when one looks at how close the win margins are, they will Tukka have to stop messing around with team selections, and play the best 15 available slowing introducing one/two new Shpielers at a time….. At the moment the Boks have some E-mazing shpielers in Steph du Toit, Eben, Plat Neus (Kwagga Smith) Marx, Pollard, Chelin, and must work on getting more….
The All Blacks have not been at their traditional best….and when one looks back to coach Graham Henry, who had a 85% win ratio & even Steve Hansen 89% win ratio the coaches were on top of things….For me Henry was the Coach of Coaches…. Quite, un assuming, BUT…deadly on the day, and even Steve Hansen was solid……. BUT …then came Ian Foster who just went along for the ride, and Methinks that Scott Robertson will take a L-O-N-G time to sort out the All Blacks falir again….. Hopefully, with such small margin losses of late the All Blacks get into their stride and give World Rugger that Black magic soon…… with the Championship Cup dominating, the other Rugger playing countries in the North have not had a mention….
Handre Pollard. Eben Etzebeth & ‘Onderbroek ‘ De Klerk
The thinking of the Waterboy and other coaches is totally skewed when they say they are preparing for 2027 World Cup…. What utter rubbish….every Test is played to do your best and not to worry about 2027, the Shpielers will fall in place….What the modern Coaches are doing is Poer-Poering in the 4 years between the World Cup, and in between, supporters get what’s played and must be happy….
The All Blacks are the only World cup winners that play consistently good Rugger for the 4 years after the World Cup win….. Look at the stats….. This World Cup has been put on a pedestal just like Matric at school….It has become the only factor that matters, even though you spend 12 years slogging away to get there…
Hopefully going forward we will see more Lekker Rugger, the style played by the French, AB’s and Puma’s at the moment…. The Bokke should stop kicking away good ball, and keep it in hand, as they have some E-mazing fliers in the back line.. Shakeach on winning the World Cup & Champions Cup
The Milkman’s secret…………..
Over a hundred years ago, in honour of 7 Adar—the day when G d Himself buried Moses, which is celebrated annually by the members of some Chevra Kadisha’s (Burial Societies) with fasting followed by feasting—the women of the Old City of Jerusalem gathered to cook and bake.
Suddenly a strong gust of wind blew open a window and knocked over a jug of milk on the sill. It spilled into the large pot of meat that was cooking on the stove.
Now, the pious and learned women of Jerusalem knew the rule of thumb: Unless the stew was sixty times greater in volume than the milk, the entire mixture was treif, unkosher.As a result, they reasoned, the celebration would have to be cancelled or postponed. After all, could one hold a feast with the main dish missing?
One of the women insisted that they present the question to the city’s chief rabbi, Rabbi Shmuel Salant (1816-1909), in case he might be able to find an allowance.
To their surprise, the rabbi requested that they return in an hour to allow him to consider their question. They were even more surprised when, after the hour had passed, he answered that the stew was indeed unquestionably kosher, but he could not tell them why.
To demonstrate that he stood by his decision, he attended the gathering himself and partook of the food. Seeing that the rabbi was eating the stew, the assembled ate as well, and the evening was an uplifting and enjoyable event for all.
Many years later the reason for the rabbi’s delay and his surprising answer was finally revealed.
On his deathbed, the venerable milkman of Jerusalem called the Chevra Kadisha to arrange for his burial. When they arrived, he shared with them what happened that day: “The rabbi came to visit me and inquired if I ever watered down the milk, perhaps if there was a shortage or to increase my profit.
I admitted to the rabbi that I did so on occasion, including that very morning. The Rabbi reassured me that he would keep my secret so that my reputation would not be damaged, on condition that I would refrain from doing so in the future.”
Armed with the knowledge that the milk in the pitcher contained a fair amount of water, the rabbi calculated the proportions and concluded that the stew was indeed 60 times greater in volume than the amount of milk that had spilled in, rendering the mixture kosher They now understood the rabbi’s answer and why he had not explained his reasoning at the time.
Food for thought: Do we always think of all possibilities before we pass judgment?
Are we ready to preserve the dignity of another person even when our reputation is at stake?
Wishing all our Jewish clients a sweet and healthy New Year.
Financial Services Should Be Bought and Not Sold
I recently gave a talk, arranged by Rabbi David Ma sinter, to a group of young adults. Rather than try explaining global markets to youngsters, who had only entered the work force and were probably more concerned with meeting their rental payments than discussing yield curve reversions, I chose to share some guidelines that I had followed over the past fifteen years to help me build up my customer base.
I had spent most of my career on the stock exchange servicing institutional investors, but when my employer, at the time, the giant French bank Societe Generale elected to exit all emerging markets in 2002, I vowed that I would never put myself in a position where my livelihood was nothing more than a column on a spread sheet that could be dispensed with by simply hitting the delete button on a computer keyboard.
Long story short, I re-joined Sasfin Securities in 2005, at the age of 57, with the purpose of helping the brokerage firm build its profile in the market while at the same time developing my own private client business. Societe Genera le had sold its private client division (Frankel Pollak) to Sasfin Bank in 2000 in order to focus solely on the institutional market.
Apart from a few friends, I had no major clients, yet, 11 years later, I have established a decent little business, profitable enough now to employ five assistants. It was hard work and there were no short cuts - customers were added one at a time. I realise that every person has their own flair and what worked for me might not necessarily work for others. After all Ronalda, Messi and Neymar have different touches on the ball, yet they are all great footballers.
So below I have listed 10 rules that I have tried to follow when meeting new and established clients, admitting upfront that it is not always possible to adhere to them dutifully:
Rule 1: Your service should be bought and not sold. Attract clients on your skills and knowledge. Golf days, cricket boxes, calendars and diaries give the marketing department something to do, but they never get business. You don’t go to a doctor because of his golf swing or because your lawyer has a box at the Wanderers. And if you do get business that way, it shows how easily your client can be swayed, which puts ongoing pressure on you to embolden your offerings. So, don’t woo clients with gifts, woo them with talent and expertise.
Rule 2: Leave your cell phone in your brief case when meeting a client. A cell phone is a major distraction. You need to maintain eye contact during a meeting. Glancing down at your phone sends a message that you are more interested in other matters. Answering a phone during a meeting is a strong signal that you are not really focused on the proceedings. Besides, it is just plain rude.
Rule 3: Leave your watch in your briefcase, too. Never put discussions with a client under a time constraint. Always leave adequate time for a chat. Building a relationship is not speeddating; it takes time to create trust. So, leave enough time in a meeting to get to know what your client wants from you and for you to explain amply what services you provide.
Rule 4: Always dress neatly and appropriately. Don’t look like you’ve come to repair the air
conditioner. Clients appreciate it if you dress smartly for them. It makes them feel valued. It’s also a reflection of your character. If you don’t know what’s fitting, ask your granny.
Rule 5: Reputation is everything you have. Avoid the temptation to do something you know is questionable, even if the rewards seem enticing. Time does not eradicate dubious dealings; the stigma follows you your whole life. Rather work hard at preserving your skills. Try learning something new every day. Go to bed smarter than when you woke up; read, read, read. Expand your competency beyond work. Know what’s going on around you, understanding there is always someone wanting your job and your clients.
Rule 6: Know when to walk away. When pursuing business don’t let your ego get the better of you. Not everyone will like you or need you, no matter how noble or smart you think you are. And not all business is good. Especially avoid clients who “buy for a ‘tickey’ but give a ‘shilling’s’ trouble.”
Rule 7: Do not reject smaller accounts. Treat every client with the same measure of respect. Most businesses are made up of an accumulation of marginal accounts. Clients also tend to test you by feeding you lesser amounts initially. Some of the largest portfolios I manage today were initially deemed inconsequential. Furthermore, several introductions and referrals have come from my “smaller” clients.
Rule 8: Avoid buzzwords or industry talk. Don’t show off. Stay away from fashionable phrases and acronyms. Address your clients as though you are speaking to your young brother or sister. If you can’t explain what you can do in simple, everyday language it means you don’t really know what you are talking about.
Rule 9: Get back to your clients as soon as possible. We all receive hundreds of mails and calls daily. It puts us under immense pressure to reply instantly. But, even if you are busy, let your client know you have received their mail or call and that you will revert to them as soon as you have a moment. Or ask if there is someone else who can help them in the meantime. Don’t leave them hanging.
Lastly, Rule 10: Make money for your clients and not from them. Clients want to know you’re working for them. Even if you are successful, don’t show off. Your indulgences might impress your neighbours, but not your clients. Their first thought is that they are probably paying for them. And don’t load your fees; there is nothing that angers a person more than paying excessive fees. Maintain your integrity, the money will come.
New year, new vision. Let’s make
it sweet.
Wishing our clients, associates and team a Shana Tova and well over the fast.
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