CHARACTER - Fireside Chats Rooted in Respect

CHARACTER

Student-Led Fireside Chats Rooted in Respect

Sydney Shanker ’24 said reading rapper Kanye West’s antisemitic comments on social media “was eye-opening.”

“I didn’t realize how often these things were said by the same person and shoved under the rug because of who he is,” Shanker said. “The only reason it was brought to my attention was that it affected me.”

Last fall, Shanker and fellow Jewish Student Association leader Lea Thomas ’23 organized one of a series of fireside chats for fellow Upper School students. The girls felt it was important to talk about the rise in antisemitism because “the normalization of hatred leads to violence,” Thomas said. “The more we know about the people around us, the more we can prevent hatred from spreading.”

Fireside chats provide a space for Upper School students to have honest and challenging conversations about issues impacting them. The ability of 14- to 18-year-olds to hold courageous and respectful discussions is rooted in St. Mary’s character development program, the Bridge to Caring. As part of the signature program, students learn to define eight key character traits (respect, responsibility, thankfulness, kindness, self-control, courage, honesty, and

cooperation) and identify the traits in themselves and others.

Lauren Rogers, Head of the Upper School, said she enjoys watching students lead “balanced, open, thoughtful conversations” about local, national, and international topics.

“All the conversations are through the students’ voices. Faculty attend, but adults are not the leaders of the conversation—they are supporters and witnesses,” Rogers said.

The Bridge to Caring character traits are on full display during a fireside chat. Sara Ottinger ’23 remembers feeling nervous about being vulnerable as she co-led a conversation in response to an off-campus example of hate speech directed at people who identify as LGBTQIA+.

Ottinger and her co-leaders felt it was important to discuss ways language can be harmful and how to support those who are targeted.

“Being able to lead a conversation like that where my peers were just as incensed and uncomfortable showed me that this community really does have my back,” she said. “I’ve participated in many fireside chats. From gun violence to racism, the topics are broad and incredibly nuanced. It’s important for me to go, especially if these are ideas that I disagree with, because it makes me challenge my thinking. If I only accept my version of things, I’m living in an echo chamber.”

Assistant Chaplain Rainey Ray Segars ’05 says she’s grateful for the opportunity to attend these student-led conversations and watch the girls practice civil discourse.

“We want our girls to have not only a good academic education but also a strong ability to express their opinions and to receive the differing opinions of others with humility, curiosity, and respect,” Segars said.

This exposure to different ideas and religious traditions is woven into St. Mary’s curriculum, especially through daily Chapel for Middle and Upper School students and weekly Chapel for younger students.

As an Episcopal school, St. Mary’s is committed to an environment in which Christians and non-Christians can affirm together God, who transcends all creeds and religions. Faculty and staff, along with guest speakers, reinforce each community member’s responsibility to treat others with respect and kindness.

For Shanker, fireside chats are an opportunity to focus on an issue and not the politics involved through an honest and respectful conversation that ultimately helps students better understand one another.

“We welcome all opinions,” Shanker said. “We wouldn’t want someone to feel like they can’t share their opinion. Our conversations focus on what we can do to better our community.”