The 35 Dollar Lemon Tea 《三十五 的 檬茶》

Luna feels at home, so long as there is lemon tea. 用 檬茶代替 家的思念。

Studying abroad has always been seen as a privilege. Being exposed to Western culture promised more opportunities, more resources, and more experiences. The stubbornness of wanting to become more than I could ever be has led me on my journey to study abroad in Australia. We always had a thirst to be different, but our desires always come at an expensive cost.

People always talk about the American dream: regardless of race and class differences, through hard work and sacrifice, you will be able to achieve success. Being able to bear the expense of a one-way ticket to Australia just to have a glimpse of western education, is a luxury few could afford to complain about. The freedom of choice that it comes with is something most people would dream to taste. If you dared to weep, or to complain, it’s all due to ungratefulness and greed. What about those you left behind? What about them? But I guess no one cared enough to ask, what about me?

If the idea of home could be personified, it would be encapsulated in a box of Vita Lemon Tea. I reminisce on the days of my childhood — when a box of lemon tea just cost 5 dollars, when happiness could be bought with a mere coin.

Sometimes, studying abroad feels like taking a sip of lemon tea. At times, you can feel the sweetness. Just like when you were finally given the permission to peek through the gaps of the undiscovered side of the world, the feeling of being able to mark the beginnings of your longawaited dreams, and even just the silly spontaneous bubble tea trips with your chosen family. The sugar in the tea is like sparkly stars on gloomy nights, blooming into your loneliest hours. It’s all you need to realise that even in the darkest skies, there was never an absence of light. The lemon flavour of the tea always brings in a hint of sourness. Just like the moments of family reunions and home-cooked dinners, but never once being invited to the table. Bitterness has its strong element in the tea; it represents the unbearable emotional stress you face alone, the effort spent trying to fit into a social circle to which you never truly belonged, and the identity you carry as a woman of colour drowning in a sea of discrimination. The countless nights of falling asleep in tear-stained pillows, staring at those swollen eyes through the mirror the next morning, wondering, what if all of this was never worth it?

I remember walking into the nearest Australian Asian supermarket and picking up an overpriced 35-dollar box of Vita Lemon Tea, wishing that I did not need to fight my battles alone. I took a sip of tea. I realised it wasn’t sweet or sour, nor was it bitter. It was the taste of comfort. It was a taste of home.

When you live abroad, sometimes life pressures you to put on a brave face, but home will always be around. Home, will always be that 35 dollar box of lemon tea.

從小，我一直不甘於平凡，因此下定 決心隻身飄洋過海，拖著五十公斤的 思念，揮手告別。記得離開之前我想 買一盒檸檬茶，紀念家的甜味。但十 塊一盒實在太貴了，所以還是放了回 去。於是頭也不回，帶著孤注一擲的 勇氣，一股走向自己所期盼的未來。

可惜當我在澳洲，我所期待的，與 現實給予的，總有半點落差。但留學 這種奢侈，若敢説半句不快樂，那一 定就是自己的不知足。當初可以擁有 選擇的權利，又豈敢再多怨言半句。 畢竟是一個為夢想而拔涉的女孩，而 且北半球與南半球之間可以容下五千 七百零九公里，若説沒有半點辛酸， 那都是騙人的吧。

如果說留學生受盡了酸甜苦辣，倒 不如說每段經歷就像檸檬茶。適時帶 一點甜，是開啟對未知世界的窺探， 是給予在夾縫中追逐夢想的希望，也 是那些在茫茫人海中的一切相遇。砂 糖灑滿的盒子，就像星辰覆蓋了黑 暗，彷彿點綴了那孤獨的夜。有時候 生活也會帶點酸酸的口味。我記得有 一次在快餐店看見一對父女在吃飯， 父親蹣跚地拿著冰淇淋走向女兒，空 氣中瀰漫的溫馨視而不得，心頭立馬 一陣子酸。有時候也會酸到鼻子裏 去，不知道突然出現在嘴角的那淡淡 的鹹味，到底是從何而來。最後的味 道，是苦澀。就像黑髮黃皮帶來的鄙