Robert LaCosta Heart Never Given In Vain “I Wanted To Be An Elder At 32” “W hen I was 32,” Dr. Perry Sherman says, “I actually thought I wanted to be an elder. I had to wait a couple of decades!” So great was the impact of Iron John and its author Robert Bly’s men’s week on the now 60 year-old Sherman that he craved the wisdom and sturdiness of older men that he had met at the retreat.
“A young man thinks he changes the world,” the Delmar psychologist said. “But even at that time, I had already encountered disappointments. For example, I thought my life would have made more of an impact by then, that I’d be married and that the church community would be using my gifts more.”
Sherman, a successful Stealth Bomber engineer at the time, also felt some betrayal from the business and faith communities because many older men were protecting their turf. The Bly retreat offered a sharp contrast because the concept of an “elder” was that of a man who was confident in himself and committed to raising up younger men through what the growing men’s movement termed “initiation.” That process included generous portions of validation and blessings. “Just when I thought I couldn’t trust older men,” Perry reflects, “I saw sincere guys who taught on the value of betrayal and how it didn’t make them bitter. They grew through it and became older souls.” It was shortly after this time that Sherman made the courageous decision to switch careers and immerse himself into psychology and into the delicate and ancient concepts of masculinity, initiation, femininity and aging.
Armed with a new understanding of healthy aging, Sherman no longer feared losing his youth to the cheapened ideal of a fat retirement. Instead, he leaned into his own challenges of being single and all of the humbling that came with starting at the bottom in a new career in a new state in a town called Delmar.
With a Ph. D. in hand, he would now discover over the next couple of decades that these difficulties would layer him in humanity, transform him into a tender-hearted counselor and slowly usher him into the coveted role of “Elder.” Robert J. LaCosta’s daily devotional, “Portals to Heaven,” is free by writing to norepcom@ gmail.com . Suggestions for seniors for this column are welcome.
Hearing Aids for Empire Plan! NO OUT-OF-POCKET
Robert J. LaCosta, BC-HIS
Ear • Glenmont Plaza 111805_4 By appointment, please call: 435-1250
CRYPTO ANSWERS: A. earth B. protect C. environment D. conserve
All the latest at your fingertips! cdseniorspotlight.com
A Place You’ll Be Happy to Call Home!
The Waterside: Luxury Apartment Living for Adults 50+. LOCATION is everything... directly off I-787 but uniquely set back with peaceful views of the Mohawk River and Golf Course.
• 1 and 2 Bedrooms • Rents Starting at $925 • Elevator • Washer/Dryer Hook Ups • Beautiful Community Room • Modern Fitness Center • Secure Building
To Schedule A Tour, Call 518-235-2220 Proudly operated by Finning Properties, a small, locally owned company. www.Finningproperties.com
Waterside Senior Apartments, 1100 Waterside Way, Cohoes, NY 12047
Health care coverage anywhere
With a $0 PPO plan from CDPHP, you can:
f See any doctor nationwide that accepts Medicare
f Access emergency care anywhere in the world
f Receive no-cost health screenings and preventive visits
f Have dental, hearing, vision, and prescription drug coverage in one plan
Call today for more information: (518) 641-3400 or 1-888-519-4455 (TTY/TDD: 711)
*Out-of-network/non-contracted providers are under no obligation to treat CDPHP Medicare Advantage members, except in emergency situations. Please call our customer service number or see your Evidence of Coverage for more information, including the cost-sharing that applies to out-of-network services.
Visit CDPHP on the web at www.cdphp.com/medicare.
CDPHP is an HMO and a PPO with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in CDPHP Medicare Advantage depends on contract renewal.