DIRECTORY............................21

As a big, blended family of 7, we are always running around to make it to the next game, meeting, or practice. My siblings and I range all the way from age 6 to 24. So, you can only imagine the array of activities we get ourselves into to accommodate everyone’s different interests and passions. Thankfully there are many opportunities in our community for the whole family to stay busy.

Emma, the youngest, is a dance maniac and loves going to ballet classes at the P-Rec. Leo IV, 8, can’t take his skates off the hockey rink with his best friends. Gabby, 15, is our next softball star and has been playing parkland softball and baseball since she was in elementary school. Anne, 16, found a community and sense of belonging with the JROTC program. All of which is only thanks to the supermom skills of our mom, Mayda, that coordinates and executes all of our schedules. Her extensive experience as a licensed realtor, has prepared her to be able to handle many moving pieces at the same time. When she is not shuttling the troop to their next destination, she is helping keep the zoo alive at our home! Together, my siblings have a dog, cat, goldfish, bunny, snake and four parakeets.

I think we all follow in the footsteps of my stepdad, Leo Gordon III, as he is the most involved out of all of us! Leo is a board member of the Parkland Parks and Rec advisory board, Chairperson for the Parkland Days 60th Anniversary Celebration Committee, Vice President of the Parkland Chamber of Commerce, is almost graduating the Parkland/ Coral Springs CERT training and just finished a season of Parkland Adult Softball league. Not only is he active on the field and in the community but he began to expand his education this year when he entered the executive program at the Jim Moran Institute.

Not only has he set an example for all of us to get involved and stay active, but he has helped me personally find my own ways of getting involved. We often will go to town hall meetings, and I have had the honor to not only get to meet all the Parkland commissioners but also State Representative Christine Hunschofsky. Then, I began to participate with the Parkland Chamber, meeting other family run businesses in our community and soon after obtained a role to manage the social media accounts. I have also been able to volunteer for many amazing organizations but the one closest to our hearts is Parkland Buddy Sports.

Practices, games, meetings, and everything in between often collide, and it takes a village to get everyone where they belong, but we always seem to find a way. Thankfully, our family has been operating MVP Environmental solutions, a full-service mold, water, and fire restoration company for over a decade and this has allowed all of us to have the flexibility to make it to all the games, shows and practices.

By Luisana Castillo

Every parent faces externalizing behaviors (acts of disruption, aggression, defiance, or anti-social intent) at some point during childhood. Young children are developing the ability to regulate their emotions and impulses, while adolescents are caught between desiring autonomy and dependency on parental figures. Whether you are going through the “terrible twos”, or dealing with an adolescent who believes they know best, parents need to set clear expectations and boundaries allowing children to learn what is expected of them. There is not a “one size fits all” solution, however, research suggests techniques and parenting behaviors which can minimize maladaptive behaviors (tantrums, oppositional / defiant behaviors). Here are some evidenced-based approaches.

The Parent-Child Relationship - When children are cooperative it is easier for caregivers to stay engaged in their life. Positive familial interactions foster secure attachments in children leading them to feel loved, safe, and more receptive to parenting behaviors. Warm and accepting parenting styles are consistent predictors of favorable developmental outcomes in children, whereas hostility and rejection predict unfavorable outcomes (Buschgens et al., 2010). Disruptive behaviors cause caregivers to react to their children negatively, leading to excessive punishment or increased disengaged / permissive styles. The question becomes, how does one maintain a healthy and supportive parent-child relationship during times of conflict?

Create Clear Expectations - Enforce the strictest boundaries on aggressive and anti-social behavior such as acts which cause physical damage to property, bodily harm, and excessive verbal aggression. Address other types of misbehavior next, asking yourself which behaviors are most disruptive at home, school or to relationships. Children need a clear message on what behavior is not acceptable and will receive a consequence. If a consequence is given it must be followed through on. Consistency is more effective in creating behavior change than giving punitive consequences. It is helpful to predetermine consequences instead of reacting to their child’s behavior in the moment. This will help prevent communicating punishments that are out of proportion in reaction to the negative emotion you are experiencing yourself. Remember to communicate in a supportive way, refraining from using statements that are rejecting, punitive or forbidding.

Pick your battles - Try focusing on 3-5 realistic targeted behaviors that you would like to see change. Focus on the behaviors you would like to see from your

Parenting Children with Disruptive Behaviors

Dr. Bianca Howard & Dr. David Yudell child, reinforce and build confidence. Implement a reward system - It is important to reward children with encouraging, positive feedback, but sometimes children need a little more motivation. Would you go to work every day if the only compensation you received was positive praise from your boss? Reward systems help children to learn to think about their behaviors while weighing the costs (i.e., consequence) and benefits (i.e., rewards). It is important to note, the younger the child, the greater the need for immediate gratification and visuals. Remember it is essential to follow through on the agreed reward for each behavior.

Talk with your children about their emotions and understand why they push

back - Children need to be taught about their emotions to understand there is a connection between their emotions and their behavior. Teach your children ways they can soothe intense emotions such as anger, sadness, or jealousy so there is a greater chance of preventing the occurrence of disruptive behaviors (Dewar, 2020). It is important to explain the reasoning behind certain rules or boundaries and why they are beneficial. Engage in discussions about what is fair and reasonable and try to refrain from statements such as “because I said so” or “I’m the parent and you’re the child”, which do not allow for greater understanding of difference of opinions. Approaching conflict in this manner models effective conflict resolution skills and allows for children to feel heard and that their feelings matter. By creating clear expectations for children to follow, implementing rewards and consequences, as well as teaching children how to cope with their emotions will help decrease the occurrence of disruptive behaviors. By focusing on the overall emotional tone of the relationship, instead of on the details of every disruptive behavior, parents and caretakers are more likely to remain a positive influence with more ability to steer their children’s development over the long-term. For further information and support please contact us at 954-288-9393 or email DrYudell@DrYudell.com.