7 minute read
Nonprofit Spotlight: Cocktails & Caregivers
By LINDSEY WATSON
Imagine that you are a weary caregiver and you’re off to attend your very first day-long retreat. You walk into a beautifully serene building, welcomed by friendly faces. A woman wearing a blue t-shirt with a martini glass hands you a mimosa and a bag of goodies, setting the tone for the day ahead. You can breathe for a moment. This day is for you.
Upstairs there is a generous spread of breakfast food, coffee, and fresh flowers. The energy feels amazing! Caregivers of all ages casually chat around high top tables, and it’s easy to engage in conversation—after all, these ladies understand. They are caregivers, too.
During the day, you take part in a variety of rejuvenating sessions: yoga, reflective journaling, meditation in a background of soothing sound bath, open discussion with a licensed therapist, and bracelet-making. There’s even time to explore vendors offering services like cryotherapy and massage therapy. It’s like you’ve been thrust into caregiver relief camp. The best part?
Throughout the day, you get to talk with others who truly just “get it.”
This was my experience last February during one of Cocktails & Caregivers’ annual retreats.
Amanda Clark-Wahl, the founder of Cocktails & Caregivers, knows the journey of caregiving all too well. Her own story as a caregiver began when her fiancé, Joe, was diagnosed with colon cancer just two months before their wedding.
Amanda stood by her husband through four years of countless doctor visits, chemotherapy sessions, and surgeries. Along this road, the couple welcomed their first baby. Also born was a blog called Cocktails & Chemo. In writing the blog, Amanda and Joe found comfort in connecting with others who were navigating similar challenges.
Readers could appreciate their raw, real stories, and relate to the unique challenges of a cancer journey. Here’s an excerpt from an early entry (https:// cocktailsandchemo.wordpress.com/): “The surgery part was easy. Joe went to sleep and we all sat in the waiting room. Joe’s brother and I ate pizza and I felt this amazing calm. It was terrible, but I felt good because it was the first time in a week that I knew there was nothing I could do and I wasn’t responsible. It was the first time I felt hungry and could take a moment of “me” time. It seemed weird that while Joe was being cut open I was eating pizza, but it was what it was and I would need my strength for the night we had ahead of ourselves.”
The blog captures moments from 2012 until Joe’s passing in 2014. After this time, Amanda felt an urgency to create a support system for other caregivers. The next year, she founded the Cocktails & Chemo Foundation, which she later renamed Cocktails & Caregivers in 2021.
The shift to include all caregivers came when Amanda recognized that no matter the type of care they provide, most people in this role often experience similar emotions and challenges. Feelings of isolation, loneliness, a deep desire for connection, and the guilt of taking time for themselves were common threads woven throughout various caregiving roles. Realizing this, Amanda chose to broaden her approach and extend the support network to include all types of caregivers. “Cocktails & Chemo was very much our story. And then as time has gone on and we decided to make this name change to Cocktails & Caregivers, it really feels like it’s your story now. It’s all of our story.”
This sentiment was echoed at the retreat. Some caregivers were supporting spouses, others were tending to young children, and some were caring for aging parents. Many shared that they rarely take any time for themselves, and that being a caregiver had become their identity. They were so overwhelmed with the daily activities of making doctor appointments, calling insurance companies, or providing care to their loved one that it was just not possible enjoy a previous hobby or simply to relax.
Amanda recounted a memory of a time when her husband was hospitalized. A friend had booked a massage for her near the hospital, and arranged everything on her behalf. At the time, she felt selfish for stepping away, but she later realized how badly she needed that break.
This is the essence of what Amanda hopes to offer through Cocktails & Caregivers—an opportunity for caregivers to take a moment for themselves without guilt.
In addition to putting on the annual retreat, Cocktails & Caregivers provides other crucial support in many forms. They offer financial grants for travel and childcare, organize virtual and in-person events (including a fundraising gala) and host online spaces for caregivers to connect and share their stories.
Additionally, they mail specialized care packages to nominated caregivers, offering a tangible reminder that these people are seen and appreciated. While based in Indiana, the organization sends boxes nationwide. This was a mission that began with a small group of friends who assembled packages around a kitchen table. Today, that effort has grown exponentially, with volunteers working together to send waves of support and recognition to caregivers all over the country.
As a parent caregiver, I agree that taking a break can feel impossible at times. We need continued gentle reminders about why it’s essential to replenish our own well-being. Connection and self-care are not selfish—they are necessary for survival.
I walked away from the retreat lighter. I felt seen by others who knew exactly what I was going through. Some vocalized out loud thoughts I had in my head but had not yet said. I took away tips and tricks for breathing exercises, journaling practices, and even learned massage strategies I could do with a tennis ball based on neuroscience. I was able to enjoy a meal without also having to feed my daughter alongside of me.
I asked Amanda if the organization had turned out as she envisioned when she first began. She explained, “The mission has remained the same, but I don’t think I could have imagined how much it would grow. The need is so evident.”
Even though she no longer wears her caregiver hat, Amanda still remains the Founder of Cocktails & Caregivers. She also manages a marketing team and has a family of her own, including two daughters, Mira (11) and Remi (2).
The organization continues to grow. Recently, they formed new partnerships with Ronald McDonald House and Community Health Network to better serve caregivers. As Amanda puts it, “The need for caregiver support isn’t going away anytime soon.”
To learn more about Cocktails & Caregivers, their events, and the resources they offer, visit https:// cocktailsandcaregivers.org/.
I am a freelance writer and editor, specializing in local lifestyle content and disability-related topics. I live in Fishers with my husband and daughter, Ava, who has Rett syndrome.
