Advocate Like A Mother

I remember leaving an IEP meeting in tears and feeling completely defeated.

I felt unheard, ignored, confused and most of all frustrated. My child was struggling and suffering at school, and it seemed like I was the only one that cared. It felt completely hopeless and helpless.

Watching your child suffer as a parent is unbearable. I felt even worse when my son asked me, “Mom, why won’t they help me at school with what I need help with?” I answered, “I don’t know, but I am not going to stop fighting until they do.” That is where my advocacy started.

I never planned on becoming a Special Education Advocate; in fact, I never knew they existed until six years ago. After hiring a very expensive lawyer I could not afford, I wondered how what was supposed to be a “FREE” education could cost so much or require a law degree just because my child learned differently.

Since becoming an advocate, I have connected with hundreds of parents that have also suffered injustices at the hands of schools. Each story is more heartbreaking than the previous one. I always think I have heard it all until I get the next phone call or email from a distraught hopeless parent. Remembering what that feels like is what keeps me going even on the worst days.

It’s my mission to give parents hope, knowledge, support, and most of all to empower them to advocate independently. Let’s face it, no one wants to hire me until their child graduates or reaches age 26. I work closely with parents through every step of the process to ensure they learn and understand what their rights are and what options are available to them through a 504 or IEP. We collaborate and prepare carefully for each meeting to ensure the parents are heard and the topics they want to address are discussed strategically in school meetings.

Advocating is a hard job and it’s emotional for me. As a parent that completely understands IEP stress with their own child, I can relate closely to the sleepless nights, stress and tears I see from each parent I talk to. It’s my goal to make the process easier and remove as much stress as possible for parents. I become their voice, but I involve them in the process, so they are seen as respected members of the IEP team. I teach them and provide many resources about the laws, their child’s condition and provide comprehensive lists of accommodations and goals for consideration. I provide the guidance and tools they need to become their child’s best advocate.

My biggest satisfaction from my job is celebrating successes with parents. It’s a great day when we get an Independent Educational Evaluation approved, IEP eligibility when it was previously denied, paraprofessional support, and make an IEP team cave because they were caught breaking the law. My most satisfying moments come when I talk to a parent after a meeting and they say, “thank you”! I feel joy when I see a parent send an email to the IEP team and they quote the law when they make a point and push back. I am thrilled when parents start asking tough questions in an IEP meeting on their own. My heart is full when I know the parents become smarter, confident and most of all empowered to advocate effectively.

None of us planned on being a parent to a child that learns differently or has special needs. There is no manual on how to do this. None of it is easy but we don’t give up because we love our children. Let me empower you and prepare you to advocate with confidence and help your child get what he or she needs at school. We can do this together! Stay tuned monthly to learn my best advocating tips!