Beyond Timers

Beyond Timers: RETHINKING TRANSITIONS FOR NEURODIVERGENT MINDS

BY JESSICA WILLITS,NEURODIVERSITY CONNECTION, BY JESSICA WILLITS, NEURODIVERSITY CONNECTION

“TRANSITIONS ARE HARD.”

It is a phrase we hear a lot, especially in neurodivergent spaces. Shifting from one activity to another, leaving a favorite place, starting something new, it can all feel overwhelming.

So we do what we are told helps: we bring out timers, count down, use visual schedules, give reminders. And sometimes those things do help. But other times, they just do not.

Maybe the bigger question we should be asking is: why are transitions so hard in the first place? Instead of focusing only on surface-level strategies, it can be helpful to look a little deeper at how neurodivergent brains actually work. Two things that don’t get talked about enough in this conversation are episodic memory and gestalt cognitive processing.

Let’s start with episodic memory. This is our brain’s way of remembering past events, often with a lot of sensory and emotional detail. For many autistic individuals, these memories can be incredibly vivid and sticky. If a transition once felt scary, rushed, or confusing, that memory may come rushing back the next time—even if the situation is totally different (or at least seems that way to us—a neurotypical person). It’s not about being “overly sensitive” or “stuck in the past.” It’s about the brain saying, “Last time this happened, I felt unsafe.”

Then there’s gestalt processing, which is taking in and understanding things as a whole picture in “chunks” instead of step-by-step. So a transition isn’t just “first we clean up, then we go outside.” It’s experienced as one big shift, and if something about that shift changes—like the weather, or the person leading the activity—it can throw off the entire plan.

It’s not always about resisting change. Sometimes it’s about trying to make sense of a world that suddenly feels different and unfamiliar.

SO WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE US?

There’s no quick fix, and transitions may always be tricky for some folks. But when we understand what’s really happening, we can show up with more empathy—and support that actually meets someone where they are.

THAT MIGHT LOOK LIKE:

• Building trust, not just structure. When someone feels emotionally safe and understood, transitions often can feel less overwhelming.

• Sharing context, not just instructions. Instead of only saying what is happening, talk about why and how it might feel. Even a quick “This part might be loud, but we can cover our ears and step outside if it’s too much” can help. (Or heck, have headphones at the ready!)

• Offering space and choice. Letting someone move at their own pace, bring something comforting, or (when possible) choose how they transition can make a big difference.

At the end of the day, supporting neurodivergent individuals through transitions isn’t about making them fit into a mold—it’s about being flexible ourselves. About understanding that what looks like resistance might actually be self-protection. And about remembering that connection and compassion go further than any countdown ever could.

Autism mom. Creating inclusive spaces.

Freelance writer by day, neurodiversity advocate always