27 minute read
I DON’T UNDERSTAND
LETTER
FROM
THE
EDITOR
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
DEUTERONOMY 6:4-9
Despite having spent 17 years working in the church, and most of those in youth ministry, figuring how best to model faith with my own child has been incredibly challenging. Even for a family who makes it to worship more weekends than not and takes advantage of all the support our church has to offer, I still wonder, “Is she getting it?”
Our world is increasingly unfriendly toward faith and religion—and not just Christianity. To believe in anything bigger than ourselves is viewed with skepticism. Our culture doesn’t even have to be outrightly hostile to make it hard. School and work schedules, extra
curricular activities and all the demands of modern life create an atmosphere where having the chance to slow down, have real conversations, and create space for prayer and worship has become nearly impossible.
Modern life is noisy. Everything competes to be heard, to be number one in our lives, and it is therein that we find the rub: In the presence of a God who simply wants to hang out with us, to be in relationship, everything else comes across as more demanding and as having larger negative consequences should we choose to ignore them.
In this issue, we tackle some of the harder issues of nurturing faith in the next generation. What does faith look like today? What do I do when my kids abandon the faith in which they were raised? What’s next for us as Christians in an ever more frantic world?
There aren’t easy answers, but my hope is that we can inspire conversation around these topics and encourage you to consider the legacy of faith that you show those nearest to your heart, whom you encounter every day. I was inspired by Pastor Mathison’s article, “Praying Attention,” in that, if nothing else, there is incredible power in praying out loud for those whom we love.
One of the greatest gifts we can offer the next generation is to see them, to know them and to love them, for this is exactly what God does: God sees you; God knows you; God loves you. May this issue of Inspire help you to tune in to your own story, to see more clearly where God has stirred up your heart and informed your actions through faith, and to know that your witness makes a difference here within our faith community and in the generations of Christians to come.
Pax Christi,
SPD BOOK CLUB
Our book club meets on the 3rd Tuesday of each month for a staff-led discussion of a book featuring topics of faith. All are welcome—whether you finished the book or not!
MARCH 17 The Bookstore by Deborah Meyler. Discussion led by Amanda Berger.
APRIL 21 Women Rowing North by Mary Pipher. Discussion led by Susan Path.
MAY 19 Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb. Discussion led by Pastor Mark Schmid.
SCRIPTURE CONNECTION
DECREASE THE OBSTACLES TO READING THE BIBLE
With Lent just around the corner, now is a good time to consider wh at discipline you might pr actice in order to observe the 40-day season. While there is no requirement in the Lutheran church to give up or take on something, many people do. For example, some give up meat like our Catholic brothers and sisters or they give up things like coffee, sugar or chocolate. Others take on something like daily devotion, a new prayer practice, or acts of service.
Fasting during Lent has its origins in the 40 days Jesus spent in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11). The purpose behind a Lenten fast is to prepare for our celebration of the resurrection throughout the weeks leading up to Easter Sunday. We do so by remembering the great sacrifice of Jesus on the cross.
This year our Lenten midweek worship will take shape around the book 40 Days of Decrease by Alicia Britt Chole. This book looks at traditional Lenten fasting in a whole new way, suggesting we decrease 40 different things like jealousy, regrets, criticism, comparison and avoidance.
Here’s an idea that is not in the book but that would make a great practice for Lent. How about decreasing obstacles to regular Bible reading? What follows are four common obstacles and four ways to work around them.
1. I DON’T HAVE A BIBLE TO CARRY WITH ME Yes, the Bible is a big book, so throwing it in your bag when heading out for the day isn’t always practical. But don’t let that get in the way of your reading! Did you know that you can buy some of the books of the Bible individually? They come in paperback versions that are lightweight and manageable for toting around. Check out:
The Gospel of John, a thrifty $1.79 on Amazon. The ESV Scripture Journal Series includes individual books of the New Testament with a page opposite the text for note taking. The Alabaster Bible each individually bound and with beautiful images throughout. At $100 this is a commitment, but so beautiful they might be worth the investment.
2. I DON’T LIKE THE TRANSLATION I HAVE It is so helpful to have access to a variety of translations, but investing in more Bibles isn’t always an option. Nevertheless, sometimes a passage is made clearer in one version and other times the contrast between versions can invite interesting reflection. Check out Bible Gateway at biblegateway.com, a free website with multiple translations. You can even select a screen to show multiple translations side by side for comparison.
3. THE TEXT IN MY BIBLE IS TOO SMALL TO READ OR I CAN NO LONGER READ It is so frustrating when your eyes change and the print is no longer crisp and clear or when you lose the ability to read at all. But don’t despair! Check out The Bible App; you can download it for free on your smart phone. Or try the Bible by Olive Tree. Not only can you enlarge the font to a size that works for you, but you can also listen to an audio version of many of the translations.
4. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT I READ IN MY BIBLE This is likely the most frequently cited obstacle to regular Bible reading. There is no need to be intimidated by what is in the Bible. Remember, these are God’s words, and they are written for you! Nevertheless, sometimes a little help is necessary. Check out EntertheBible.org, a great, free Bible commentary for when you get stuck or want to dig a little deeper.
Faith & Life
TOD WORNER
T H U R S D AY, MARCH 5 7:00 PM
Tod Worner, a practicing internist, teacher and writer, joins us for a conversation about the state of medicine today. How can physicians and patients reclaim the soul of medicine and once again make it a meaningful engagement between a healer and a patient, rather than a business transaction driven by efficiency and utility?
The Faith & Life Lecture Series is free and open to the public. All are welcome!
For more information visit faith-and-life.org
Read
THE LOST BOOK OF THE GRAIL
By Charlie Lovett— Charmingly British, this book follows Arthur Prescott, devout bibliophile and literature professor, who is obsessed with the history of his beloved Barcester Cathedral. In a race against time, Arthur seeks to uncover the truth about the cathedral’s origins and its mysterious connection to the holy grail. Along the way, Arthur finds not only love, but a little bit of faith as well.
Watch
BUILDING THE GREAT CATHEDRALS
Gothic cathedrals are a wonder of beauty and engineering. Watch this fascinating episode of “Nova” as they follow engineers, architects, art historians and computer scientists as they search for clues to help preserve cathedrals on the brink of collapse.
pbs.org/wgbh/nova/video/building-the-great-cathedrals
Listen
MUSIC FOR LENT & PASSIONTIDE
This album contains over an hour’s worth of beautiful traditional Latin choral works by The Lay Vicars of Chichester Cathedral, especially chosen for the season of Lent and Holy Week.
BY TIM WESTERMEYER
y three siblings and I recently hosted a major milestone birthday party for our parents. The party was, in a very real way, a celebration of the theme of this issue: Generations. Being surrounded by family members—some who were older than me, some who were my age, and some who were younger than me—reinforced this theme of generations in a powerful and visceral way. M
And, importantly, the event reinforced the theme not only through my actual family, but also through the family we call the church. Many who attended this party were dear friends from the two churches that have been most central to my mom and dad in their adult lives—one from a suburb of Chicago, where I grew up, and the other from a church in Roseville, where my parents moved after I graduated from college.
The presence of friends from these churches was no accident, since the church, of course, is also a family—and, like all families, is also made up of generations.
A helpful reminder of the generational nature of the church comes through a word that sometimes get a bad rap, namely, “tradition.” Far from implying something that is old and tired and irrelevant, the word in fact refers to something that is active and alive. Literally, the word tradition means “handing on,” and it underscores the truth that the church is an ongoing, living community that is in the business of connecting one generation to another: Those who have gone before us have handed on God’s love to us, and—as recipients of that love—we have the privilege and responsibility of handing on this same love to those who will come after us. Seeing this truth about the church—recognizing the connections each generation has with the generations before and after them—strikes me as a healthy exercise, because it helps us to see and recognize the specific “place” or “location” we each take up in a complex network of loving relationships that span both space and time.
Among other things, seeing more clearly our place in the generations of the church gives us a sense of perspective. It allows us to acknowledge with gratitude what our predecessors have accomplished; it challenges us to pick up the responsibility we have to hand on and share God’s love in our own place and time; and it also forces us to live in hope by humbly accepting that we will never be able to “finish” this work—that we need to trust that those who come after us will be able to take it up as their own.
At that party for my mom and dad, I was glad to be surrounded by so much love—between and among multiple generations. Here at St. Philip the Deacon, I feel the same way. As you reflect on our wonderful faith community made up of so many generations, I pray that you can continue to take up your own important place in this family. When you do, you allow all of us to more fully receive the love passed down to us over the centuries, and—with God’s help—to hand it on to those who will come after us.
With Gratitude for Your Place in the Family,
MEDITATION
WB YEATS
DEVOTED LIVING
PSALM 130:3-4
Let t ing go of pa st hurts a nd w rongdoings is one of t he most dif ficult ch a llenges a n y of us face. For some of us, t hose hurts h a ppen in t he cour se of a fight, a slight or a misunder sta nding. Or you m ay be t he v ict im of deeper trauma.
We pray every week in worship, “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us,” in the hope that this may be true in our lives and that we can break cycles of sin and hurt, in the hopes of becoming healthier in our own body, mind and spirit.
In the case of everyday wounds, being honest and talking through the hurt can be helpful. Hurtful words, a misunderstanding or a fight can often be resolved with honestly offering the chance for an apology and may even help to deepen the relationship.
Then, there are things that feel unforgivable—physical, emotional or sexual abuse, neglect or being a victim of a crime—and these are huge. It may take a lifetime to resolve that kind of trauma. “Forgive and forget” is a common platitude that has little resonance in cases of such deep hurt and there are no excuses. Persons who perpetrate these acts are responsible for their behaviors, but it can also be helpful to understand that those who commit these hurtful acts were often victims of abuse themselves.
While it may feel good or righteous to hold on to anger, the physical, emotional and spiritual effects of holding on to that anger are devastating, and often perpetuate further cycles of hurt. Recognizing that forgiveness is more important for the one who was hurt to give, than for the wrongdoer to receive, can open the whole self to healing and resolution. If we consider our God to be a God who breaks chains and frees us, then forgiveness is one of the most important steps in finding freedom and peace. It releases the cycles of anger, guilt, anxiety and fear that often accompany the deeply wounded.
T H E P R O C E S S O F FORGIVENESS
This four-step method was condensed from a more in-depth 20-step process developed by Dr. Robert Enright, founder of the Forgiveness Institute. For more in-depth information, check out internationalforgiveness.com.
Uncover your anger. Our instinct is to hide and tamp down anger until it explodes. Consider using a journal to identify your anger, considering who, what, when and where that anger comes from. These can be recent experiences or distant, unresolved wounds from your past. 1.
Decide to forgive. On a head level, you decide to be ready to let go of anger and make the decision to forgive. Do consider that this forgiveness is more about you than the one who has injured you. Unresolved anger unleashes our body's stress response, possibly even making us feel physically, mentally and emotionally sick. 2.
Work on forgiveness. Sometimes this means reframing the original offense. If the injury was minor, but hurtful, perhaps the person didn’t mean it the way it sounded or was experiencing a lot of stress themselves. Maybe a conversation needs to happen to resolve the hurt feelings. In the instance of a larger trauma, that may not be possible, but as the victim, the need to process and heal from traumas often means deciding that you are more than and not defined by that abusive experience. 3.
Find release from your emotional prison. You are not alone in your suffering. Others have also experienced deep hurt. Finding a support group may be helpful. Consider how these experiences have shaped who you are, and how God may turn them for good in your life. 4.
When Our Neighbor Stumbles
BY K ATE STERNER
wo decades have passed since Sandy Dockter was first asked to help lead St. Philip the Deacon’s participation in Beacon Interfaith Housing’s program, Families Moving Forward. At the invitation, she was dubious and said, “I just don’t know if I will have the time.” But taking a step in faith, Dokter said yes to what has become a very clear call to service. T
Three times each year since then, Dockter has skillfully shepherded the program. She organizes SPD members as they sign up for a variety of Families Moving Forward tasks. She works closely with the Beacon staff, monitors and advises during hosting week, and contributes feedback reports to help with Beacon’s grant-seeking process. Dockter is also a local legislative advocate, attending city council meetings and speaking with elected officials and representatives for expanded affordable housing options in Plymouth and the surrounding area.
“Many families fall on hard times through no fault of their own, or through events that they cannot control,” says Dockter. “It’s important to me to stand with those who struggle with unemployment, illness, loss of transportation, loss of a family member, or any number of factors that put them and their families at risk for homelessness.” The Families Moving Forward program has a very high success rate. It is very satisfying to know that the program is designed to set participants up for success. Families are directed into Beacon’s program through various application steps. Priority is given to people with children, and who are employed or employable. If applicants have drug and alcohol issues, they are directed into other applicable programs. “These are people ready to stand on their own feet. They just need some extra help and encouragement.”
Host sites—mostly church congregations— provide rooms and bedding for each family for one week. During a hosting week, children attend school or daycare while their parents are either at work or working hard to find employment. They attend classes and workshops which cover job seeking guidance and skills training. In the evenings the families return to their host site, where volunteers provide meals, evening activities, conversation and encouragement.
“When I think of what I have been given, by the grace of God, I know that I have a need to help others,” says Dockter. “If my heat were to go out, I can just bundle up in some blankets and wait for the repair crew to come and fix my furnace. But what if I didn’t have the resources to pay for that? This is something I can do for someone else. Anyone can help this way. It doesn’t take a bunch of money; just some of my time. I just want to help.”
Opportunities to Serve Our Neighbors
Sharing your time and talents makes a difference in the lives of our neighbors. It will make a difference in your own life, too!
Sharing and Caring Hands Serve a nutritious breakfast to those who rely on it. First Saturdays at 8:30 a.m.
Messiah Food Pantry Extra hands are always welcome on the second Friday and the fourth Saturday of the month, both at 8:30 a.m. We help keep the pantry shelves stocked and ready for visitors.
Our Saviour’s Shelter Five times a year, a crew from SPD will gather at Our Saviour’s Shelter in Minneapolis where we prepare and serve an evening meal to those struggling with homelessness.
Meals on Wheels There are opportunities for SPD members to deliver meals to homebound neighbors during the months of March, July and November.
DO THIS,
NOT THAT!
W H E N YO U R A D U LT C H I L D R E N LEAVE THE CHURCH
BY PASTOR CHERYL MATHISON
s the Teaching Pastor I am asked all kinds of questions ranging from “What does the Bible say about (fill in the blank)?” to “Can you recommend a book about (again, fill in the blank)?” to “Where in the Bible does it say (once again, fill in the blank with part of a Bible verse or, for an extra challenge, fill in the blank with a mashup of parts of several verses from several different books)?” Questions come to me via email, voice mail, in conversation, and on notes scribbled on scratch paper slid under my door or left in my mailbox. A
One of the questions I am asked most frequently basically goes something like this: “My adult children don’t go to church. What can I do?” As parents who brought their kids up in the church worshiping regularly, learning about the Bible and Christian life, serving and enjoying rich relationships in community, it is one of life’s greatest disappointments when adult children leave the faith community. And, as parents who have carried their children to the baptismal font promising to bring them to the services of God's house and to teach them the Lord’s Prayer, The Creed and the Ten Commandments, it is painful to acknowledge that their adult children are no longer part of a church. Under these circumstances it is not uncommon for parents to experience a deep sense of loss, failure, worry or fear. And at the same time, it is evident whenever the question is raised (What do I do about my adult children who don’t attend church?), that it is prompted by deep love, care and concern.
While I cannot provide a checklist of things to do that will guarantee your kids will return to church, I can help you navigate this complicated relationship between you, your adult children and your faith and theirs.
Perhaps you are familiar with the Eat This, Not That! weight management books. The author suggests healthy food swaps for not-so-healthy foods we love to eat. For example: eat this (baked potato chips) and not that (fried potato chips).
DO
DON’T
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7. DO know that it is not your fault. Give yourself a little grace and know that you have done your best in sharing your faith.
DO find comfort in Scripture. For example,
the Parable of the Lost Sheep and the Lost Coin
remind us how deep and certain God’s love is
for every single one of his sheep. Psalm 139
proclaims there is no place we can go where
God is not. It reads in part: Where can I go
from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your
presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are
there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are
there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle
on the far side of the sea, even there your hand
will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
DO seek to understand your adult children and their faith. Listen attentively when the topic comes up.
DO share your faith and how it sustains you.
Let your faith speak for itself.
DO take the long view. They may not be wor
shiping today, but there is always tomorrow.
DO pray for your adult children. Entrust
them and their faith to God’s care.
DO recognize that you are not alone.
Many faithful parents have grown children
who no longer worship or participate in a
faith community.
DON’T beat yourself up for the decisions your adult children have made about the church.
DON’T fear that your adult children
have been abandoned by God because they
are not part of a faith community.
DON’T assume that they have no faith and furthermore, don’t assume that you know why they are not active in a church.
DON’T argue, debate, shame or apply
pressure to your adult children in hopes of
getting them to go to church.
DON’T give up. Ever.
DON’T neglect interceding on
their behalf.
DON’T let guilt and shame keep you from
sharing this heartache with other people you
love and trust. They may also be willing to pray
on behalf of you and your child.
THROUGH THE GENERATIONS
BY AMANDA BERGER
remember seeing my mom, tucked up in the rust-colored recliner in the early mornings, with a cup of coffee in her hand and her Bible open across her knees. I can still picture my home church, St. Paul’s Lutheran in Grand Island, Nebraska, on Sunday mornings filled with familiar faces in the pews and my dad ushering. I remember the kindness of Mark, my youth director in high school, inviting me to sing with the youth choir and serve as a youth leader at middle school events. I remember occasionally attending mass with my grandmother on Saturday evenings, watching her fingers work the decades of her rosary as we waited for the service to begin. I
Each of these memories are just tiny pieces of the story of how I came to know and love God. They are the follow-up to a baptism where those around me promised, on behalf of a tiny, helpless infant, to bring me to the Lord’s house, to teach me the Ten Commandments and the creeds, to provide me with all of the tools and encouragement to grow in faith.
It is the work of one generation to the next, sharing the practice of faith, while God is simultaneously at work in every generation. I never really thought about it until now, but each of these people, as they were modeling their faith to me, were still on their own unique and intimate journeys with Jesus. They didn’t have all the answers. They were still growing their own spiritual practices, and yet, in powerful ways they showed me what it looked like to mature and live in faith.
It is easy to look at our modern world and despair the power of an increasingly secular culture. To feel nostalgic for a time when Wednesday nights were blocked out for church activities and where on Sunday morning, nearly everyone you knew was attending church somewhere.
This is no longer the world we live in, and we can lament and wish for the “old days” or we can come to terms with what it means to be a person of God, living our faith in the world as it is today. There are those who are panicking at dire predictions of the decline of the church—in particular, the decline of the ELCA—and there are those who choose to believe that a new age is dawning and we, as God’s faithful people, have a role to play in furthering the Gospel.
Most people want their lives to have purpose and to be rich with meaning. As Christians, we find that meaning within the story of who God is in our lives. As we mature in our own faith, we do not give faith to the next generation; instead, we help them uncover their own story of God. We need the interaction between those who are a little further along on their faith journey to serve as models of what a life of faith looks like.
The church is, importantly, one of the few places where we see interactions between and amongst people of many generations. Currently, seven different generations worship within the pews of SPD each week. There is great beauty in these shared patterns of worship, which have not altered much in 2,000 years. Interestingly, the word “tradition” means “to hand on” or to “pass on” and these familiar patterns of traditional worship are often a great draw for the young families within our congregation.
While there may be some tension between generations in how each practices their faith or “does church,” none of the expressions of faith are better than or more important than others, as our practice
of faith is often defined by the time of history in which we grew up. Sometimes, these differences can cause a sense of loss or grief, or even blaming between generations, but there have always been points of tension and transition in faith practices. (Anyone remember when women were not allowed to be pastors?)
“In the past our congregations grew because we gave birth to more Lutherans. That is not and has not been the case now for several generations,” said Linda Staats, an expert in intergenerational faith at ELCA Churchwide. “Due to the mass mobility in our society, beginning with the Boomer generation, there is a decrease in the number of families who attend the same church, and trace their membership and grave markers back three, four, five or more generations in the same cemetery. This mobility affects household faith practices and passing on of religious traditions and sense of family religious identity.” Children and grandchildren do not necessarily see and hear how their extended family experience God and the practice of faith in everyday life, simply due to distance.
“Churches are one of the few remaining communities that can bring all generations together for meaningful interaction and where a sense of belonging and identity is formed as a people who know God’s Story and live with purpose—a gracefilled, Jesus way-of-living, that goes beyond any boundary or difference of age or stage in life. Regardless of age or generation, I believe every person is looking for community and sense of belonging and purpose in living,” said Staats.
In big and small ways, our faith community at SPD models this faithful life daily. As we engage in worship, Bible study, prayer and service, we show where God is at work in individual lives and in the movement of our larger community. This is the story that we model and reveal, day in and day out, as we embody the faith in which we live, move and breathe.
GENERATIONS AT A GLANCE
Each generation is shaped by the culture around them. Here are some of the key generational differences we find among those who we encounter every day. Dates indicate birth years.
The Greatest Generation (1901-1926) Faith derived from knowledge and experience and know hymns by heart. Believe that every generation will be better off than the one before it. Live lives rooted in sacrifice for the good of others and are civic minded. May have fought in WWII.
The Silent Generation (1927-1945) Faith comes from knowledge and involvement, also know hymns by heart. Believe that hard work can accomplish anything. Save their money and try not to use credit. Shaped by the Depression, WWII and Industrial Revolution. Believe in tradition, loyalty, hard work and not wasting resources. Trust institutions and leaders.
The Baby Boomers (1946-1964) This group was taught that the church was in charge of passing on the faith. Lives were shaped by television and social-political change, space exploration and assassinations of religious and political leaders. Tend to be suspicious of institutions, hierarchy and authority. Work hard to play hard and use credit. Also sandwiched between caring for parents, kids and grandkids.
Gen X (1965-1980) The first generation to truly be “latch-key” kids where majority of both parents work outside of home. Shaped by computers, the Cold War, the AIDS crisis, divorce, and concerned about making ends meet. Accepting of diversity and committed to care for the environment. This group is searching for purpose and meaning; often lack loyalty to particular church denominations.
Millennial or Gen Y (1981-1996) A renewed interest in civic responsibility and public service. Spent their formative years in childcare and preschools, they are wired for technology. Looking for authentic relationships, they are upbeat and confident, but often stressed about financial situation. Very open to change.
Generation Z or iGeneration (1997-2012) Born into the rise of the information age, they communicate in real time across the whole world. This group is marketed to by advertising nonstop; Kids are viewed as “getting older younger” (forced into more mature roles and behaviors earlier than previous generations). Fear of school shootings a part of daily life.
Alpha Generation (2013-2025) Completely born into and immersed in technology, they will become global citizens. Expectations will be of completely customized approaches to everything. Greatest life expectancy of any generation.
Generational data and additional resources provided by Linda Staats, ELCA Churchwide coordinator for The Generosity Project, who shared with me her expertise and passion for understanding intergenerational ministry.
