tonight i saw the moon

Ifeel revitalized when alone in the ocean, watching the endless cycles of water ripple and crash upon the shore. An overwhelming feeling of insignificance pours through me as I stare into the endless horizon of the cool, shimmering, blue water. There is no end in sight — I feel minuscule, like a speck of dust. Still, the surroundings feel alive and remind me of myself: a continuous conglomerate of interconnected strands of veins, blood, muscles, energy, life. For a few seconds, I am overcome with peace as I enter the realms of the formless. I am a ball of energy, with no thoughts, no feelings, and no attachment to my identity as a human.

Just as I am in a daze, enthralled by the beauty of the ocean, the ephemeral moment of formlessness is lost. I am brought back to smelling the fresh sea-salt, feeling the seaweed wrap between my toes, and seeing the small bubbles from the fish swimming beneath me. I am no longer a higher consciousness in a human vessel, but a body that's occupying a brain.

These rare moments where individuals are consumed by nature and recognize how small they are in comparison to the natural world have been described as the sublime. Understanding the sublime with words alone is futile; it can only be known through experience. Thinking and labeling objects prevent individuals from encountering the sublime because the moment is lost when describing something for what it is, rather than how it makes you feel.

Take an ethereal flower: Are you feeling the energy radiated from each fragile petal, or are you just labeling it as “flower”? While you don’t need to look and examine the intricate detail of a flower every morning on the way to work, when you do, you can find peace in the stillness of a flower reflecting the stillness within yourself.

The distractions from day to day life can keep the mind busy as thoughts stream in and out of the brain. The brain itself is complex and contains what is known as an ego inside it. The ego is a psychological term that refers to where you file memories, feelings, and emotions. When the ego takes control of your mind, you lose consciousness, or awareness, by becoming detached from reality. We can lose the present moment when dwelling over events in the past or fixating on future ones. The easiest shortcut to recognizing the activation of ego is when you begin to think about “I” or “me” because it is when you start identifying objects, people, and events with yourself. You become an individual, rather than a small part of the universe.

Egos are hungry and parasitic, capitalizing off negativity in order to sustain itself; the ego is also never satisfied and will always crave more, causing you to overthink. While it is true that thinking is a natural process, we are not the voice inside our head. The mind and body are inherently linked, each one serving to reinforce the other.

Think of every thought as a little seed that plants itself within the body. The seed will begin to grow and travel through the body. On this journey, the seed changes the chemicals in your body, such as your hormones, mood, and blood levels. A positive thought forms good energy and can act as a catalyst, making you feel light and airy. Meanwhile, a negative or unresolved thought can form a huge knot of muscle or a clot, leaving you drained or achy. Most modern medicine treats the symptoms of headaches, hypertension, or high blood pressure in the body — but not the root cause. These

medical problems can sometimes be attributed to stress and negativity within the mind.

Awareness of the mind-body connection allows us to understand ourselves on a deeper level. Eckhart Tolle coined the phrase pain-body to describe the concept of the mind forcing you to relieve pain in response to an external stimulus; this could be a scent, sound, name, event, or person. The pain-body lies dormant in all of us until triggered and usually is derived from ego identification.

Music, for example, is a very powerful tool, which can transport you back to the past. My Grandad’s favorite singer was Frank Sinatra, and sometimes, when I’m out in public, one of Sinatra’s songs will play in the background. It catches me by surprise and transports me back to when he bought an iPod. I spent the afternoon with him, downloading all his favorite music. Frank Sinatra triggers my “pain-body” to an extent because I am reminded of my Grandad’s death. But, it also brings back so many beautiful memories of the times we shared. Emotions will always be there waiting for you, but you have agency in how we deal with them. Choosing to accept emotions and allowing them to run through you can prevent the build-up of negativity within the mind and body over a prolonged period of time.

Still, it is not always easy to let go of events, especially if something is beyond your control. When I am stressed, my back becomes a breeding ground for knots and tightness. Sometimes, it takes until I stretch or take a yoga class to even realize the immense strain on my body. Yet, when I use force on the knots, I feel the negativity leave my body, and my mind becomes at ease. Now, when I feel stressed about something I have no control over, I think, “Is this affecting me in the current moment?” The answer is often no. If it’s in the past, then why let it ruin the present? Life becomes smoother when you stop expecting things to happen and just let things be.

Tonight l saw a full moon. Although it looked cool, I felt a sense of warmth from the light it omitted. Ever since I was young, I have been fascinated by the moon; I used to think it was following me home when I was in the car. I find a sense of comfort from the fact that while life can be uncertain, the moon will always be there.

The moon is special but also paramount to our life on Earth as it controls the tide of the waves. Sometimes, thinking about how complicated nature is can be tiresome and overwhelming because there are no definite answers. Yet, simultaneously, it is amazing to be able to appreciate the mystique of our world and understand that some things do not need meaning; they just are.

While I stood looking at the moon, I got pins and needles running through my foot. I felt the nerves twitch and pulse through the heel of my foot and the sensation of my whole leg going numb. During this moment, I gained a degree of consciousness — presence — and enjoyed being alive. I thought about the symbiotic relationship between the moon and the waves and the symbiotic relationship between my mind and body. We can’t look at our lives in isolation from the natural world or view our identity as only our thoughts. Nature is within us, just as we are one with nature.

When life seems to be spiraling, draw attention to your pulse and breathing. Feel the momentary bliss of the formless and remember you are not a body occupying a brain but a higher consciousness in the body of a human. ■