Focus on the Family 2020

Focus Family on the

BE A BETTER PARENT • PLAY A GAME • SPOT BULLYING

A Southern Lakes Newspapers publication 2020

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FOCUS on the FAMILY 2020

Resolve to be a better parent Parenting is a challenging, yet rewarding role that many adults take on lovingly. Recent data from the U.S. Census Bureau indicates that there are 73.7 million children under age 18 living in families.

Parenting is a hard job that evolves as children age, and moms and dads may wonder if there is anything they can do to be better parents. Raising successful, happy and well-rounded children takes effort, and the following tips may help parents along the way.

Take care of yourself

It’s hard for parents to serve as good role models for their children if they aren’t taking care of themselves. A little selfreflection and some positive changes can help parents set strong examples for their youngsters.

Beware of comparisons

Parents often wonder what they may be doing wrong, especially when they see other children meeting milestones that their children may not be achieving. According to Harvey Karp, MD, author of “The Happiest Toddler,” babies develop rapidly and each child is unique. One set of abilities is bound to develop faster than another, Karp says.

Making comparisons between children, whether it’s with youngsters’ siblings or friends, can be a recipe for conflict and self-doubt. Speak with a pediatrician if you have concerns about development.

Be an active listener

Being an attentive parent includes listening to youngsters.

Encourage kids to share their points of view on activities or topics they feel are important. That can reassure children they know they can come to you without fear of reprisal, even when they may have been out of line. This strengthens the bond between parents and their children.

Explain you are human, too

Sometimes children need to see that their parents are not perfect to realize they needn’t be perfect either. The website Aha Parenting! recommends parents apologize when they are wrong and use such instances to teach kids that adults are human, too.

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Parents need to take action to form strong bonds with their children and be the best parents possible. One of the best ways for moms and dads to engage is to actively listen to their children.

THE SAFEST PLACE FOR KIDS IN THE CAR

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Studies have shown that the rear middle seat is the safest in the vehicle if a 3-point seat belt is available.

Riding in a vehicle can be an exciting prospect for children. Such rides provide a chance to see the world outside of the house, and the speed with which scenery is flying by can be exhilarating for young minds.

Children are first introduced to riding in cars as babies, when child safety seats will keep them secure. Although laws vary depending on where people are driving, the American Academy of Pediatrics advises that children remain in a rear-facing car seat until age 2 or older. As they get older and gain weight, children who have outgrown the rearfacing weight or height limit for their seats should use a forward-facing seat with a harness for as long as possible, up to the highest weight or height allowed by their car seat manufacturer, says the AAP. When children are old enough to graduate from car seat to booster seat to sitting in the car with only a seat belt, parents may wonder about where their youngsters can sit when riding in a vehicle. One area of the car tends to be safer than others for children.

Researchers from the University of Buffalo who studied crash-related fatalities in relation to seat location discovered that the backseat is 59 to 86 percent safer than the front seat. What’s

more, the middle seat in the back of the car is 25 percent safer than the window seats.

The science behind the study is that the middle seat offers the most distance from impact during a collision, or what the industry calls “the crumple zone.” The outer seats will be more affected, while the middle seat remains more insulated. However, the middle seat is only the safest when used with a full seat belt, rather than just a lap harness; otherwise, children should sit in the back where a full threepoint seat belt is available, advises the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

In addition, it can be tempting to cave under pressure and allow tweens to ride in the front of the car when they ask to do so or say that it is embarrassing to ride in back — since all of their friends are riding up front.

The organization Safe Ride 4 Kids says studies show the safest place in the car for tweens is the back, until they are at least 13 years of age.

Riding in the middle seat in the back of the car is the safest place for passengers, including children. Parents and caregivers should keep safety in mind when kids are in the car.

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FOCUS on the FAMILY 2020

How family game night can boost skills for kids Feeling disconnected from members of your own family lately? You’re not alone - a 2018 study by 72 Point for Visit Anaheim found that 60% of parents with kids between 4 and 18 described their daily lives as “hectic.”

The survey also found that today’s families only spend about 37 minutes of quality time together per weekday.

Between digital distractions and our often over-scheduled lives, even sitting down for dinner together can feel like a miracle to pull off, especially as children head toward the tween and teen years.

What’s a solution? Gather around the table together for a good old-fashioned family game night. Even if you start out monthly, chances are it will soon be popular enough to enjoy more often.

Putting your family’s game night on the calendar will ensure everyone keeps their schedules clear for a night of fun – and connection – together.

Today’s games provide a range of choices to suit any age, interests or gaming styles, so there’s something for every

family to explore and enjoy together.

Kids can learn important lessons about sportsmanship and fair play, develop communication and collaboration skills, increase their fine motor, logic and strategic thinking abilities - and have a blast doing it.

Here are some examples of how games can boost specific skills, while also providing plenty of giggles and excitement.

Test your knowledge, quick thinking and creativity A game that’s always up-to-date, kNOW! uses the latest technology to help test the brain power of three to six players, ages 10 and older.

Games go beyond trivia – there are also puzzles such as identifying a sound provided by Google Assistant, or creating a question to ask Google Assistant to prompt it to say a provided word or phrase. This fast-moving game provides constantly changing questions depending on where and when you play.

ABOVE: Make it a priority to schedule time with your kids. Weekly family activities like game night are a great way to connect with the kids while helping them develop problem-solving skills.

NEXT PAGE: Board games are a favorite of kids and grownups alike. Stock up on the family favorites and add some new titles to the game shelf for variety.

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Enjoy the wicked side of strategy For a fun twist on everyone’s favorite movies, Disney Villainous: Evil Comes Prepared allows two to six players age 12 and up to choose a sinister character to play: Scar from “The Lion King,” Ratigan from “The Great Mouse Detective,” or Yzma from “The Emperor’s New Groove.”

Players put strategy and logic to the test to achieve their own diabolical goals - and stop other villains from completing their own dastardly objectives. Games like Disney Villainous can be expanded and played with other characters in the series.

Players can choose from a treasure trove

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of villains including Maleficent, the Queen of Hearts, Ursula and more.

Create suspense while working cooperatively JAWS brings the classic movie and infamous shark to life in your very own living room. In this asymmetric, two-act board game, one player takes the role of the shark while others take on the parts of Chief Brody, Quint and Hooper and work together to defeat their toothy foe. For two to four players ages 12 and up, JAWS recreates the excitement and tension of the blockbuster film.

Boost problem-solving and small motor skills A brain-bending game for all generations, Invasion of the Cow Snatchers is an introduction to playing games at different levels of skill while challenging players as they learn how to follow directions and maneuver their flying saucer around obstacles. Though designed to be a one-player game, others can join in on the

See GAME NIGHT, Page 4

2020 Focus on the Family

A publication of Southern Lakes Newspapers • www.MyRacineCounty.com 1102 Ann St., Delavan, WI 53115 • (262) 728-3411 Section Editor.................................................................. Tracy Ouellette General Manager...............................................................Sue Z. Lange Creative/Production Director............................................... Heidi Schulz Section Designer.................................................................Jen DeGroot Advertising Director......................................................Vicki Vanderwerff

For advertising opportunities in our publications, CALL (262) 725-7701 ext. 134

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FOCUS on the FAMILY 2020

• Game night

(Continued from page 3)

fun too by collaborating to solve puzzles and taking turns being the magnetic “UFO.” Schedule a family game night and turn that 37 minutes into an entire hour

or more! Enjoy hanging out together, and reconnecting as a family.

For more games and puzzles to enjoy, visit Ravensburger.com.

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Signs children might be victims of bullying Despite the best efforts of educators and parents, bullying is a problem at many schools.

According to StopBullying.gov, an official website of the United States government, as many as one in three American students say they have been bullied at school.

And the problem is not exclusive to the United States, as the Canadian Institutes of Health Research report that at least one in three adolescent students in Canada report being recent victims of bullying.

Bullied students often suffer in silence. As a result, the onus is on parents to learn the signs that a child is a victim of bullying. Such signs are not always easy to recognize, as StopBullying.gov notes that the most common types of bullying are verbal and social.

Physical bullying happens less often, so kids who are being bullied may not exhibit physical symptoms like bruises or unexplained injuries, which are common indicators of physical bullying.

By learning the common signs of bullying, parents are in better position to recognize when their children are being bullied, whether that bullying is physical, social or verbal.

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Signs of bullying

There are many signs of bullying and kids may not exhibit them all. In fact, StopBullying.gov notes that some bullied children exhibit no warning signs.

So in addition to learning these signs of bullying, parents can make a concerted effort to communicate with their children every day, asking youngsters about how their day went and if they encountered anything that adversely affected their mood.

• Unexplainable injuries; • Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry; • Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness; • Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating – kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch; • Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares;

• Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school • Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations; • Feelings of helplessness or decreased self-esteem; and • Self-destructive behaviors, such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide.

Parents are urged to report any concerns about bullying

to educators immediately, as research indicates bullying can lead to or worsen feelings of isolation, rejection, exclusion, and despair. Bullying also can lead to or worsen feelings of depression and anxiety, which can contribute to suicidal behavior.

Learn more about bullying and how to combat it at www.StopBullying.gov.

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6 effects of bullying

Mixed messages still prevail regarding bullying. While it is addressed as a problem that shouldn’t be tolerated, some people still think that bullying is a part of growing up. But downplaying bullying can have lasting consequences.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that one out of five children are bullied. The Cyberbullying Research Center offers that 5.4 million American students skip school at some point in the year due to bullying. What’s more, bullying doesn’t end when classes let out. Digital harassment is a growing problem that brings bullying into a person’s life, day or night.

Victims of bullying may experience short- and long-term consequences. Here is a look at some of the experiences and behaviors that may be result from bullying.

A UCLA study of 2,300 1. students in 11 middle schools in Los Angeles found that high levels of bullying was associated with lower grades across the three years of middle school. Students who were bullied the most performed significantly worse in school than their peers who were not bullied.

THE POTENTIAL LINKS BETWEEN

Bullying & Violence

other physical problems. Visits to the doctor may turn up no physical causes of these issues.

The Columbine High School massacre that took place on April 20, 1999, which resulted in the deaths of 12 students and one teacher, was, at the time, the deadliest school shooting in United States history.

The Columbine massacre was perpetrated by students Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, and an investigation of the shooting suggested that bullying may have contributed to the shooters’ decision to open fire on their classmates and teachers.

In his journal, Harris illustrated reasons for his desire to kill, and “revenge from being teased” was among them.

However, Harris also wanted to see himself as “the law,” according to his writings, indicating that he may have been an aggressor at some point as well.

While one cannot always connect

sleeping patterns. Students also may experience low self-esteem.

The role pediatricians can play to combat bullying

Children who are bullied tend 2. to have increased feelings of sadness and loneliness that can manifest as future diagnoses of depression and anxiety, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. These issues can persist into adulthood.

Victims may experience 3. psychosomatic symptoms like headaches or muscle aches or

Remedy Health Media 4. advises that bullying can result in changes in appetite and

5.

A longitudinal study led by scientists in Norway looked at the long-term psychological effects of being bullied as an adolescent. The results pointed to adverse mental health outcomes in adulthood, with victims showing a high level of depressive symptoms.

Both bullies and victims were also at an increased risk of psychiatric hospitalization due to these mental health disorders.

Bullying also can affect 6. bystanders. Students who witness their peers or friends

being bullied may be more likely to use tobacco, alcohol or other drugs. Such students also may be at an increased risk of developing mental health problems, says StopBullying.gov.

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Children endure bullying every day.

Surveys from the United States government and the Canadian Institutes of Health Research indicate that as many as one in three children in the United States and Canada report being bullied.

There’s no simple solution to combat bullying. A collective effort from parents and educators can help children overcome bullying and show children who engage in bullying just how much their behavior hurts other youngsters. Pediatricians also can play a unique role in combatting bullying.

According to StopBullying.gov, a website sponsored by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services that supplies information on bullying and how to prevent it, pediatricians can be invaluable resources in the fight against bullying. Pediatricians can recognize signs of bullying during

bullying and extreme violence, a correlation can sometimes be made.

Bullying is a growing concern in schools, and research into possible connections between bullying and other forms of youth violence is ongoing. A recent study published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence indicates that bullying and other health-risk behaviors can happen together (i.e. substance use, violence and school failure), and more education is needed to address the broad range of youth problems in schools.

According to Dorothy Espelage, a professor of psychology at the University of Florida, bullies have a “continuum of perpetration.” Espelage says that the aggression that can result from bullying, even years later, can be problematic.

routine health examinations, and that recognition can be especially important given that many kids never report being bullied to their teachers or their parents.

A 2011 study published in the Journal of Experimental Criminology found that only about 20 to 30 percent of students who are bullied notify adults about the bullying.

Parents who suspect their children are being bullied can speak with their children’s pediatricians to see if the doctors feel their youngsters are exhibiting any signs of victimization. Such signs are not always physical, which can make them more difficult for parents to recognize.

In addition to recognizing signs of bullying parents might not see, pediatricians can play an advocate’s role in regard to combatting bullying, advising educators and other school officials that

Nadine Connell, director of the Center for Crime and Justice Studies at the University of Texas at Dallas, says that bullying can continue into patterns of adulthood that can be dangerous. Experts warn that children who engage in high rates of bullying in childhood and adolescence can later become more skilled in aggression.

Chronically victimized people may develop major depressive disorders or generalized anxiety disorders as a result of being bullied year after year.

The organization StopBullying.gov reports that a very small number of bullied children might retaliate through extremely violent measures. Shooters had a history of being bullied in 12 out of 15 school shooting cases in the 1990s.

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children are exhibiting signs of bullying.

That can help parents immensely, especially if they have had difficulty conveying their concerns about bullying to school officials.

StopBullying.gov notes that pediatricians can familiarize themselves with “Connected Kids: Safe, Strong, Secure,” which is primary care violence prevention protocol developed by the American Academy of Pediatrics that aims to educate pediatricians about bullying and the role they can play in violence prevention.

Bullying affects families across the globe. Combatting bullying is often difficult, but parents should know that they have many resources, including their children’s pediatricians, at their disposal.

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TOP: Bullying is a problematic issue that has ties to violence, both for bullies and their victims. Schools, parents and even government agencies are trying to find new ways to address bullying and reduce its frequency and impact.

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FOCUS on the FAMILY 2020

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