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Debut (Hong Kong) I sat uncomfortably in the waiting room holding the 600 HKD x-ray of my foot in my hand. It was so cold that I was sweating under my arms and on my palms. Finally the nursing station window slid back, “Mister Jackson, the doctor will see you now.” I nodded and got up. The door to the doctor’s office was closed so I knocked before entering. “Please come in,” said the voice behind it. I walked in and he was a plump Chinese doctor in a suit and he was standing to greet me. He held out his hand and instantly took the x-ray. He switched on the fluorescent light for the display. He took the black plastic paper out and stabbed it to the top of the display. He looked it over quickly and I sat down. “Mmm,” he said and touched the spot where my ankle was. “That’s where the growth is and as you can see – we don’t see it.” He let out a breath. “So I don’t think there is anything to worry about. You are going to be okay.” I sighed. “However, if you want to remove that off your ankle we can do it. It would only take an hour and we can remove it right here in my office.” “But would I be able to walk out of here?” I asked. “Of course. It might be a little discomfort but no problems. But seriously, unless you are embarrassed by the growth – there is no need to worry about it.” “I am not worried about it. I think it gives me character.”

He smiled. “Well, then I think it’s settled.” He switched off the display and returned the x-ray back to its manila envelope. Then the doctor handed it back to me. “This is yours.” “Thank you.” “Only if it grows larger should we consider removing it. But if everything stays the same, nothing to worry about.” “Okay,” I said. “I was very worried.” He smiled his doctor smile. “No need to worry.” And then settling in his leather chair he changed to small talk. “What do you do?” “I work for an IT company and I travel a lot. So this was going to severely impact my travel schedule.” “Of course.” “And I have a debut.” “A debut?” “Yes, I do standup comedy to get rid of the stress. And my debut is Saturday night.” He laughed. “Well do me a favor and don’t make a joke about me.” “If we were in Thailand, it would be easier to do that.” He looked confused. “What do you mean?” “In Thailand, get more value with the doctors there. Go to remove a tumor and return with a vagina.” He chuckled. “I think your debut will be fine.”

I was late to the airport and found Sophia waiting for me as I got to MIX for my customary WOW Spunky Monkey. “Hey, what are you doing here?” “I knew you would come here – you always do.” “Sorry I am late.” “It’s okay.” We were quiet for a couple of minutes and then I forgot that I hadn’t kissed her yet. So I leaned in and we kissed like an old couple – short, sweet, and a bit awkward. “I am really glad you came. It will be good to have someone in the audience to cheer me on.” “I wouldn’t miss it. Even if you are an asshole.” “Yeah, I am sorry about that too.” “You are sorry about a lot of things.” I didn’t answer. “Well, let’s not fight. That’s the past. Now is now.” “Yeah, now is now.” And she leaned into me and said quietly, “And I want you NOW.” I smiled and gave a crooked smile, “Let’s get to the Airport Express!” Getting to the apartment, she did the usual inspection and made the typical comments. “So you vacuumed all the other girls’ hairs up before I arrived?” “I told you, no. I didn’t clean up at all.” She looked at me unbelieving. She went to the bathroom. “Why do you have two towels?” “I am too lazy to wash.” “Oh.” I let out a breath. “Look, you can either believe me or not. We said we weren’t going to fight. Didn’t you say now is now?” She smiled wickedly and put her hand behind my neck and grabbed a handful of hair and forced me to her mouth.

I was in the back of TakeOut Comedy with the other comedians getting psyched for the show. Jami was looking down on the floor meditating. I have a ritual where I buy two Coronas at the 7-11 and down them to get rid of any nerves. But always, one of my Coronas always topples over and spills to the chagrin of Jami who has to mop up after the shows finish. So tonight, I was taking it slow. I was going to do back to back shows so I would drink one now and the second before the second show. But right now, because of nerves, I was drinking fast and every time when I pulled the bottle out of my mouth, the foam was bubbling up and over the neck of the bottle. I had to catch it with my tongue. Jami broke out of his trance and went over to Conner who was 13 years old about to make his debut. He was quiet and seemed nervous. “You doing okay buddy?” He smiled meekly. “Yeah, I am okay.” Jami put out his fist to pound. “You are going to have a great show.” And then he moved around the room doing the same. “You are going to have a great show.” He looked me in the eyes, “Remember, don’t get greedy. Do your material and walk off. Okay?” “Yep. I got you.” “Is that your girlfriend in the audience?” I answered instinctively, “Yes.” “Oh man, I was going to try and fuck her. She’s hot. Glad you told me.” I laughed hard. “I guess that’s a compliment.” He laughed back and smiled. “Just kidding man. You are going to be fine.” And then he peeked out the curtain to see the audience. The music was bumping out hip hop. The audience was packed. “It looks like a parent teacher conference out there.” Jami pulled back and looked at Conner, “You brought a lot of your classmates?” “Yeah,” he said shyly. “Wow. I have never had a show this filled with kids before.”

“Should we filter what we say?” I asked. “Fuck no. PG-13. Remember shameless.” And then he peeked out the curtain, “Okay it’s show time.” And he bounded out to the stage.

Conner had killed. The audience was in the palm of his hand. And he lubricated them for the rest of us comedians. My set started easy. But halfway through my set I lost my courage because I saw a twelve and thirteen year old boy sitting in the front seats – looking scared of the nasty words coming out of my mouth. So I confided to the audience, “Man, I feel so bad for these kids.” And the audience roared with laughter. “Tonight there innocence is gone!” And I gestured with my entire body and threw my hand towards the end of the stage. “Tomorrow their voice is going to crack – go through puberty.” And I stood and changed my voice, “Hey MOM” starting high and the cracking my voice and deepening it as my comment went on. I laughed at myself. “They don’t even know what I am talking about.” The audience laughed harder. “But they will tomorrow.” And then I stuck in my last bit. I looked down at my crotch pretending I just personally gone through puberty. “What are these things?” See it here – www.gweilojackson.com/clips/debut.html

When I got off stage, the other comedians lined the aisle back to the curtained back room with fist bumps, “Yo! You killed man!” I felt great. And when I got to the back, one of the comedians looked a bit somber. “Jackson, I got bad news.” “What?” “I knocked over one of your Coronas.” I laughed. “Don’t worry man. I always do that. I think it’s a good omen.” “Oh,” he said. “Then, you did a great job out there. You really killed.” I was very humbled. “Thanks man. I really appreciate that.”

Finally Jami wrapped up the show. So when the first audience was leaving the next audience was coming in. Derald and his wife were in the audience for the first show. And I went up to thank them personally for coming. And then Derald’s wife asked Sophia if she wanted to go out. Derald had to DJ at Volar and his wife was going to tag along. Sophia shrugged her shoulders and said, “Sure.” Just then my boss, his wife, and their friends came in. So I went to usher them to the best seats in the house. I was honored that the people I really cared about – minus my parents and a couple of others had made the sacrifice to support me. And actually it meant more than I knew it would to have Sophia beside me. And when I saw her leave with Derald and his wife – she looked back and mouthed, “Goodbye,” and there was something about the way she said it. She was proud of me.

Sophia stayed on past the weekend. And I brought her with me to Open Mic where Paul Ogata from Comedy Central had just arrived earlier from New York City. With a celebrity in the house, all the other comedians showed up – giving their best routines. I felt a little out of place. I had written up some raw, rough material to practice at the open mic – and did not want to do my tried and true material. So comedian after comedian went up and just killed. I kept getting more and more nervous. I thought to myself if I should do what I know because Paul was in the audience. And besides, I wrote it up quickly without any practice alone on my delivery. I didn’t want to make myself “look stupid” as my original set is focused on. But then I told myself, “Fuck it. Be like Nike, just do it.” Sophia and I sat near the front and all the comedians were hitting on her or making comments about how hot she was. Sophia loved the attention but I think she was worried that I might get jealous and do or say something stupid. When it was the contrary, I think a woman who feels wanted and sexy – makes her stronger and more self-confident. And also it keeps me on my toes. Reminds me I have to be a good boyfriend – or whatever we were now – or I would lose her in my life.

I didn’t realize how large the audience was for a Tuesday Open Mic until I got on the stage. The seats were packed – comedians, their friends, and random Tuesday night customers probably lured because Paul was in the house. So I got up and did my “world peace if you wash your ass” bit. Dead silence and actually I saw some people with angry stares wondering if I was accusing all Christians for causing all the wars on the planet because they didn’t use a bidet. I got up and did “get a blowjob from a UFO” bit. That broke the audience into a little of guffawing. And then against my better judgment, I did “wearing my kids” bit where I revealed an intimate sexual secret between Sophia and me. She didn’t mind me divulging it and she actually thought it was funny because no one laughed except her because she knew it was true. Finally the show was over, and I had promised Sophia a romantic dinner but I was torn – because the comedians wanted me to go out for drinks with them. So I did a compromise. I took Sophia to Boca in SoHo – ordered wine, food – and quickly went down to the Corner Bar to pay my respects to everyone. I also told them that Derald had invited them all to Club 97 after the show to unwind and for shots. I hurried back up to Sophia – and she was a little mad because I had spent a little too much time chatting with everyone. But then I slowed down – we finished our wine and food and when we paid our bills – everyone was still drinking at the Corner Bar. Now everybody was buzzing hard. And it was just the right time – everyone wanted to make a move to somewhere else. We created a convoy on a Tuesday night and headed over to Club 97. I hung back with Paul Ogata and told him straight up, “I promise not to suck up.” He was very quiet and softly answered, “No,” he smiled, “it’s okay to suck up.” He looked at me deadpan. “Just kidding.” Suddenly, it was like I was spinning. I was happy. Incredibly happy. Surrounded by a new family, TakeOut Comedy, by a celebrity, Paul, and by someone who truly loved me despite me being an asshole, Sophia. And when I get ecstatically happy, I want to dance. It’s been like this since I was 15 year old the day I got my halo off after I broke my neck the second time. Soon as I got back from the doctor’s office in Blakely, Georgia, I put on my headphones and danced to Morris Day’s, “Fishnet.” So as Jami, Paul, and the other comedians settled on the couch in Club 97 to drink and converse, I went up to Derald and thanked him for being my friend. I made a request for Ryan Leslie.

“Sure dawg,” and Derald put his headphones back on and the former solar energy engineer and Oxford graduate – cued up the next song. And I danced. Sophia got a little aggravated with me. She pulled me down to her ear twice, “Why are you ignoring Jami and Paul?” “I am not. I am just happy. It’s great to have everyone together.” She looked scornfully at me. “No more Red Bull and vodka for you.” Just then, Ryan Leslie and Slim’s (formerly from 112) “Good Love” came on overhead. I turned and locked eyes with Derald. He saluted me and I went wild debuting my dance moves.