SELF-CARE FOR REAL PEOPLE WITH BUSY LIVES

Written by Dr. Natalie Christine Clinical Psychologist and Wellness Coach

The original intent behind self-care was to help people take ownership of their health and their efforts to improve it. Today it has become synonymous with bubble baths and “me time,” but it is so much more than that. Self-care encompasses nutrition, lifestyle, social habits, and attitudes toward health, both physical and mental. In my wellness practice, I work with busy people of all types to manage stress and prevent burnout, and in my research, I study best practices and barriers to self-care. My definition of self-care is “the deliberate steps we take to tend to our own needs, too.” Carving out time each day for self-care helps us develop greater self-reliance, strengthens our sense of empowerment, autonomy, and self-efficacy, and better protects us against the psychological “wear and tear” of never-ending obligations, responsibilities, and deadlines.

I have found that when it comes to barriers to self-care, about 25% of people say they don’t have enough time for it, about 40% say they don’t have enough energy, and about 30% say they don’t really know what self-care activities they should be doing. These are important distinctions to make because each may require a different approach.

For those struggling to find time, I might suggest incorporating some aspect of self-care into activities you are already doing. In other words, if you want to practice self-care daily, make everyday things a self-care practice. For example, doing chores can be an act of self-care–maybe not the most glamorous or luxurious–but practice being fully present and engaged in your task. Our routine, day-to-day activities can be made more interesting and, therefore, more rewarding by challenging ourselves to be more fully absorbed in them.

If I only had an hour for self-care, I would exercise. Exercise, or any type of physical movement, provides the best return on our self-care investment. If I am unable to do that because it’s the middle of the workday or I have my kids with me, I might carve up that time into a few activities, like doing about 5-10 minutes of centering or breathing just to collect my thoughts. I ask myself: “How am I doing? What do I need?” The answer to those questions might guide me into the next activity, which could be making a cup of coffee and savoring it, or taking a walk outside for 10-15 minutes. If I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed, I might take out a piece of paper and make a “To Do” list, or journal for 5-10 minutes.

I use an acronym to help remind me and my clients of the self-care essentials: “ESCAPE.” This provides an easy-to remember checklist to help us decide our options and what to do with our time. “E” is for exercise or physical activity; “S” is for sleep or rest; “C” is for connecting with others; “A” is for appreciation or gratitude practice; “P” is for play or pleasure, and “E” is for exhale. All of these are available without needing any special equipment or appointment, are free, and can be done at home with as little or as much time as you have.

Finally, in behavioral science, it’s understood that we as humans receive important cues (or feedback) about how we’re doing based on our behavior. When we practice self-care, that behavior sends an important message back to us. It says we are doing OK, and it also says we are worth the time and effort it takes to do these things. And, in my opinion, this is probably the most important aspect of self-care for preventing burnout and prioritizing wellness.