Take Care of Others by Taking Care of Yourself

BY NATIONAL HISPANIC COUNCIL ON AGING

Do you know the phrase “if you can’t love yourself, you can’t love someone else?” This phrase is especially relevant when it comes to caregiving. When you take care of your physical, mental and/or emotional health, you can provide exceptional care to those you care for.

It is not hard to remember the times when a cold, a headache, or an argument at home has prevented us from taking care of someone’s well-being in the best possible way. The brain needs to adjust, and the more things we have on our minds, the easier it is to suffer from absent-mindedness and forgetfulness. In the particular case of a caregiver, forgetting things can be very serious.

It is hard to recognize and accept the advice to take care of yourself as a caregiver. It is often difficult to look beyond the caregiving tasks that await you each morning and subsequently forget about self-care. The reluctance to ask for and accept help is a major barrier to obtaining the respite and support needed in maintaining good health. You need to work on yourself if you want to offer your best to your loved ones.

NHCOA offers some tips to help you take care of yourself, increase your confidence, and assist you in performing your caregiving duties. Consider the ones that can work for you and turn to them when you have complications or hesitation along the way.

1. Have a support system: Your friends and family will always be willing to support you if you need a break to talk, take a walk, or discuss a book. Religion is also a strong source of support for these moments of stress and frustration.

2. Be clear that there is no such thing as a “perfect caregiver.” Remember, you are not being selfish by thinking about your needs and feelings. It is important to work on the guilt that we create by constantly making demands on ourselves or due to frustration or fatigue, as well as addressing the guilt that comes from external commentary.

3. Establish boundaries: Learn to ask for help. Boundaries exist to let us know at what point we can ask for help and how much we can give of ourselves to others. We can learn to say “no” to demands that are draining. You can still make decisions about your life, what is right for you and recognize that you are still in control of your life.

4. Learn as much as you can about your care recipient’s condition so you can understand what is happening. Learn caregiving tricks to make it easier for you. You can’t know everything and there is value in training yourself to do a good job. Get in touch with someone who can help you connect with and use community resources.

5. Don’t neglect sleep: Burnout is a major problem for caregivers, leading to irritability and then inappropriate anger which then leads to even more guilt. Not getting enough sleep is one of the major causes of stress and burnout in caregivers. You can assess yourself to understand the limits of your own endurance and strength. Make sure you have regular checkups and have those “little worries” about your health examined. Exercise is even more important, as it gives you a break, fights depression, and helps you maintain your health.

6. Support groups: Attend a workshop or support group, not only to get emotional support but also to release concerns and meet people who are going through the same situation. They can help you with strategies that have worked for them to cope with any hardships. In addition, it is an opportunity to create a support network that you can turn to daily.

One of the main concerns of caregivers is often “what will happen to my loved one if something happens to me?” We must be aware that worrying doesn’t help or fix anything. Taking better care of your health does and your loved one will thank you for it.

2. Ten claro que no existe el cuidador perfecto: Recuerda, no estás siendo egoísta al pensar en tus necesidades y tus sentimientos. Es importante trabajar la culpa que generamos al exigirnos constantemente o debido a la frustración o cansancio, sin dejar a un lado la culpa que viene por comentarios exteriores.

3. Establece límites: Aprende a pedir ayuda. Los límites existen para saber en que momento podemos pedir ayuda y hasta dónde podemos permitirnos dar de nosotros para los demás. Podemos aprender a decir “no” a los pedidos que son agotadoras. Todavía puedes tomar decisiones sobre tu vida, lo que es correcto para ti y reconocer que todavía tienes control de tu vida.

4. Aprende todo lo que puedas sobre la enfermedad para que puedas entender lo que está sucediendo. Aprende trucos de cuidado para facilitarle la tarea. No puedes saberlo todo y es válido entrenarse para realizar un buen trabajo. Comunícate con alguien que pueda ayudarte a conectarte con los recursos de la comunidad y usarlos.

5. No descuides el descanso: El agotamiento es uno de los principales padecimientos en los cuidadores, lo que lleva a la irritabilidad y luego a la ira inapropiada que luego conduce a más sentimiento de culpa. No dormir lo suficiente es una de las causas importantes de estrés y agotamiento en los cuidadores. Puedes evaluarte para conocer los límites de tu propia resistencia y fuerza. Asegúrate de tener chequeos regulares y que se examinen esas “pequeñas preocupaciones” sobre tu salud. El ejercicio es aún más importante, ya que te da un descanso, combate la depresión y te ayuda a mantener la salud.

6. Únete a un grupo de apoyo: Asiste a un taller o grupo de apoyo, no solo para obtener apoyo emocional, sino también para descargar preocupaciones y encontrar personas que están pasando por la misma situación. Ellos pueden ayudarte con estrategias que han servido para resolver cualquier inconveniente. Además, es una oportunidad para crear la red de apoyo que necesitas en tu día a día.

Una de las principales preocupaciones de los cuidadores suele ser “qué le sucederá a mi ser querido si algo me pasa a mí”. Debemos estar conscientes que preocuparse no ayuda ni soluciona nada. Cuidar mejor de tu salud lo hace y tu ser querido te lo agradecerá.