5 minute read
The chance meeting that saved a life - and spurred action
How one life-changing conversation, between two men on a bridge, united people across the UK to try to change the approach to mental health education.
It’s been 13 years since Jonny Benjamin MBE made a decision to end his life.
Standing on London’s Waterloo Bridge, on a cold January morning in 2008, the 20-year-old could see no other way out, as he struggled with delusions and hallucinations - the results of a schizoaffective disorder.
As he looked down at the icy water of the Thames, personal trainer Neil Laybourn just happened to be passing by on his way to work. Spotting Jonny’s anguish, Neil made a split-second decision to stop and talk to Jonny.
Their conversation saved Jonny’s life.
“I was really unwell by the time I found myself on the bridge that day," says Jonny with a slow nod.
“I felt worse than I’d ever felt in my life and couldn’t imagine getting better, but then this total stranger approached me, and talked to me, and offered to buy me a coffee.
“He was the first person to give me hope, and his reassuring words prompted the start of my recovery.”
Six years later, Jonny and Neil’s chance meeting on the bridge became the focus of a global campaign, #FindMike, as Jonny searched for his saviour, eventually reuniting with Neil, and forging a firm friendship.
Together the pair began campaigning to improve mental health support for young people in the UK, becoming ambassadors for national charity, Rethink Mental Illness. In 2018 they launched Beyond, a grantgiving charitable organisation that aims to provide mental health support to young people, families, and teachers.
“Growing up in a Jewish community, mental health was a taboo,” says Jonny. “I was also struggling with my sexuality, so there was a lot I had to overcome.
Neil (left) and Jonny (right)
“I think there's too much focus on mental health at the crisis end, rather than on early intervention.
"75% of all mental health issues begin in adolescence, and around three quarters of young people don’t get the mental health support they need.”
Sitting beside him, nodding earnestly, is Jonny’s right-hand woman, and CEO of Beyond, Louisa Rose. Like Jonny, Louisa has lived mental health experience, after struggling with depression and anxiety from childhood.
Louisa says: "Looking back, I can identify moments of anxiety that I didn't have the vocabulary to express from being about four.
“I was 16 before I was officially diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and I spent the next few years in-and-out of therapy, on-and-off of antidepressants, and up-and-down with my moods and mental health.”
Things came to a head for Louisa when, in her late 20s, she and her then-husband divorced.
“I’d had a few severe depressive episodes over the years, but that’s when things got really bad,” says Louisa, who has been diagnosed with recurrent depressive disorder.
“I tried to take my own life, and was very close to succeeding, but a friend, who’s a nurse, managed to save me. “I spent the next month in a psychiatric hospital and, in the months that followed, began the process of getting to a point of acceptance and recovery.”
It was a year before Louisa was ready to talk about her experience, and then she decided to take the opportunity to help as many people as she could.
“I’d spent years hiding the reality of my mental health struggles,” says the mum-of-two.
“I felt a responsibility - to all those people still suffering - to talk about it, and let them know it's okay for them to do the same."
In February 2021, under the guidance of Jonny and Louisa, Beyond - which is led by a Youth Board of people with lived mental health experience - hosted the UK’s first mental health festival for schools and colleges.
Louisa says: "More than 1,200 schools signed up for the virtual festival, which coincided with Children's Mental Health Week.
“We also recruited and vetted 350 mental health professionals from all over the UK, and put together a day of live programming with speakers like Katie Piper and Dame Kelly Holmes.”
Spurred on by this successful first event, the group is now focused on building up its Youth Board - whose youngest member is currently ten - as it moves forward in its mission to change the way the UK approaches mental health education once and for all.
Louisa says: “Our incredible Youth Board members are leading the charge - telling us what their frustrations are, and where they want to see change.”O
ne of these Youth Board members, Lizzie Connick, is a student at Exeter University. She joined the group, along with dad Jeremy who is also a trustee, following the death of her mum in 2014, as the result of suicide.
“The Youth Board is so inspiring,” says the 21-year-old.
“It's motivating to be around people who share a focus and passion for mental health
“It’s an amazing community, where every idea is validated, and is so different from my other circles. When I talk about mental health elsewhere, I feel like I’m pushing for people to engage, whereas at Beyond, everyone feels as strongly as I do.”
When it comes to mental health in 2021, Lizzie says it’s essential we all take an active role in checking in with family and friends we think may be struggling.
"In my experience, one of the most dangerous things is asking someone a question like ‘how are you?’ and not giving them the space to answer truthfully,” she says.
“It’s so easy to do tokenistic wellbeing and question-asking, but this year it’s more important than ever to give people the space to open up.”
Jonny, who experienced a relapse himself during the pandemic, and credits therapy, medication, and mindfulness in helping him to maintain his mental health, says: “Connection is everything when I’m struggling, and every text and phone call means so much, even if I’m not up to responding to them at that moment.
“I don’t think we’ve seen the end result of the pandemic yet, as we know things like trauma tend to come out later down the line, and there’s already talk of it having a huge impact on our young people, in terms of anxiety, OCD, depression, and eating disorders.
Louisa nods in agreement: “I think the Children’s Commissioner, Rachel de Souza, nailed it recently when she said that, after the world wars, there was a whole system overhaul carried out - that’s when the NHS launched, and other public sector systems were put in place. They knew they had to do something massive to tackle emerging societal issues.“
The same thing is happening again, and it’s not enough to just plaster over the cracks - we have to reform the entire system.
“Maybe it will take a pandemic to actually make it happen.”
