"How can i freely parent my child?"

The title of this article comes from a parent who onceasked me ’how can I freely parent my child’? This wasduring a particularly difficult child protection conferencewhere it had been said that urgent legal advice wasrequired to safeguard the child. This example mayappear extreme but nevertheless, it can and does occur.

On my travels through the social work landscape, I oftensit with this paradox; where does safeguarding beginand autonomy end? In particular, when working withinthe field of child protection.

On the one hand, as social workers, we are drawninto safeguarding children which is our core role andresponsibility. This can at the very ninth degree leadto children becoming Looked-After. I wonder as tohow we can do more to assist parents in meeting theirresponsibilities and enabling them to give their childrenthe support and care they need.

There are many issues within society such ashomelessness, mental health, poverty, alcoholismand drugs. All of these can and do impact a parent’sobligations to meet their children’s needs.

When I started, social care was the buffer; thesupportive factor to enable families to be assisted whenany difficulties were first identified. We worked withfamilies to ensure that any issues were at the very leastreduced for the children. This enabled them to not besubsequently further affected by their parent’s actions.As a social worker, I understand that people have theautonomy to lead their lives as they see fit. If thesechoices appear to have a negative effect, then parentsmay then be assessed and advised on how theirlifestyle impacts on their children.

If I may digress for a moment and consider a Kantianview of morality, both ‘duty and ‘goodwill’ can lead aperson to consider that they are free - but are we reallyfree? Is morality an illusion as to how we should orshouldn’t live? I hear words like ‘neglect’ often bandiedaround, it makes me think about people’s perspectivesand how much reality there is of a person’s situation.Authenticity should also be considered, in the samebreath. I believe it was philosopher John-Paul Sartrewho gave the view that any choice could be consideredauthentic if it is lived with a clear understanding andresponsibility.

I used to argue strongly when I was challenged forbeing the ‘social police’. On consideration, if we fastforward to care proceedings, I do not know of aninstance where power does not come to the forefront, meaning autonomy significantly reduces for the parent. Any relationship where there is an attempt to decrease the power imbalance initially between worker and parent becomes lost. Should a local authority gain parental responsibility for a child, making the autonomy of the parent in decision-making secondary?

There are occasions when a social worker needs to step in to protect a child. What is often not considered is that modern society has few social constraints and people may make different choices.

As social workers, we are no longer given the time and space to support and enable families to safeguard their own children. Alcohol and drugs will always be in society. As controversial as it may sound, how do we ensure that parents who partake in such activities can safely parent their children if at all? I am not advocating the use of alcohol or drugs, but I know that to varying degrees this occurs in every part of society. So where do we step in, and to what degree do we respond? We are moving towards a more policed state where social care is becoming a more policing role. Don’t get me wrong, I will do whatever is within my power to safeguard children – however, have we missed a trick? Could we not assist parents to be proactive in the process? Wouldn’t this create positive changes rather than generations of potential involvement where people haven’t had the support that they need?

Parents often ask me for help, either directly or indirectly. In my view, only a very few parents cannot be shown different approaches. Can we as parents and professionals collaborate together and look at a way of changing the narrative and provide whatever help and support is required? This could be through parenting, coaching or advising rather than having to consider the most draconian of measures.

I know what the badge means, and the power behind it.

When I walk into a house and people’s lives, I explain that I want to work with them and look at the options available. I came into the profession wanting to help people make changes where they could. If they can’t, then I consider the alternatives. It’s always with a heavy heart and a great reluctance that I must attend court to look to share parental responsibility and I often wonder whether we could have done something else…

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