In the Know:Understanding the Cancer Experience

know in the

understanding the cancer experience

Issue 26 complimentary magazine

Men, Women & Cancer Understanding risks, prevention and how it affects our relationships

He said...She said: When both partners have cancer Three couples tell their story

A promise of partnership: Caregiving for your spouse

in

BOARD OF DIRECTORS Gordon L. Black, M.D., Honorary Michele Aboud Robert Ash Patricia Carter, RN Ted Edmunds Sam Faraone Jeanne Foskett Monica Gomez Dan Olivas Irene Pistella Shelly Ruddock Ruben Schaeffer Ken Slavin Polly Vaughn Patti Wetzel, M.D. Steve Yellen

this issue:

When two people make a commitment to each other, it is often voiced with the phrase “for Men, Women & Cancer better or for worse, in sickness and in health.� That’s what we promised each other on our wedding day. The problem is that when we say these vows we most often don’t comprehend that the “worse� and the “sickness� may actually come about and it may stay. It also may get quite ugly and exhausting.

In this special issue of In the Know: Understanding the Cancer Experience, we bring you the personal and inspiring stories of three couples whose marriages have been blessed with the “better� of family, children, friendships and other successes. And while many of us can claim to have experienced the ‘worse’ in the sickness of a spouse, each of these couples shares a uniquely special bond in their marriages in that both the husband and the wife have had cancer. These couples have kept their relationships strong by always remembering the traits and beautiful qualities that first attracted them to each other and keeping them at the center of their world.

My deep personal thanks to Ron and Tycha Stading, Melissa Offut and Ryan Martinez, and Phil and Lupe Sanchez for sharing some deeply personal stories with our readers. I know you will be equally stirred by their commitment to making their relationships strong through some incredible challenges.

Michelle Brown presents us with some touching stories about caregivers and how their lives are impacted by the cancer diagnosis. Caregivers come in all sizes and profiles, and every caregiver has their own challenges and ways of handling stressful situations. There are, however, common elements, like roles, responsibilities and rights that

know in the

understanding the cancer experience

Issue 26

complimentary magazine

Understanding risks, prevention and how it affects our relationships

He said...She said: When your partner has cancer

A promise of partnership: Caregiving for your spouse

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR Patricia TiscareĂąo PROGRAM OFFICER Jutta Ramirez DIRECTOR OF MARKETING AND COMMUNICATION Izzy Mora OFFICE MANAGER Cindi Martinez

transcend branding. Check out Michelle’s practical tips on caregiving for the caregiver.

Speaking of caring individuals, the Rio Grande Cancer Foundation is proud to announce the establishment of the “Wondrous Gilbert Gonzalez Wigorium Fund�. Volunteer extraordinaire, retired DEA agent, and a self-proclaimed Beatle mania, Gilbert is a volunteer with The Green House and a source of help and encouragement to the patients he assists. For the second time, Gilbert and his Moon Dogs orchestrated the “Sgt. Pepper’s Wondrous Wigorium�

Beatles concert on May 20, 2013, with the proceeds of the event benefitting the Foundation’s Four Seasons Beauty Program. We all get by with a little help from this dear friend!

Save the date for the 5th annual Keep on Dancing Cancer Survivor Conference. It will be held on Saturday, August 24, 2013 at the El Paso Wyndham Hotel and will feature some amazing speakers, programs and opportunities to learn about thriving beyond a cancer diagnosis. We will again be raffling off those fabulous baskets, created by our dedicated KOD committee. That in itself is reason enough to attend Keep on Dancing! Remember: you must be present to win!

We hope you will enjoy John Del Rosario’s article about Hoy Fox and the Lexus commitment to corporate giving, especially in our community. Long-time supporters of the Rio Grande Cancer Foundation, we were delighted to received photos from Steve and Nancy Fox from their November 2012 trip to New Zealand. Imagine our surprise to see Jim (President of Toyota Motors USA) and Barbra Lentz and Yoshi (Chairman, Toyota Motor Sales North American) and Yoko Inaba sporting our Keep on Dancing T-shirts! Talk about international exposure!

Patty TiscareĂąo, Executive Director, RGCF

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Maggie Rodriguez

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We asked three couples to share their stories about their cancer experience. Our questions covered everything from their diagnosis through treatment and beyond.

Here are their answers.

By Patty TiscareĂąo and Izzy Mora

Lupe Sanchez â&#x20AC;&#x153;We were in Mazatlan, Mexico in September 1996 celebrating my husbandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s birthday when I discovered a lump in my left breast,â&#x20AC;? says Lupe Sanchez of the breast cancer she discovered on her own. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to spoil the trip, so I waited until we got home,â&#x20AC;? she adds. Subsequent tests, including ultrasounds and a biopsy revealed the presence of a cancerous tumor in her left breast.

The couple was planning a November trip to Washington, D.C. and asked Lupeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s physician if they could delay the treatment until after the trip. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I wore my first wig in Christmas 1996â&#x20AC;?, says Lupe of the subsequent hair loss due to chemotherapy.

A mastectomy in February 1997 was followed by a regime of radiation therapy.

It was during a spring break trip to Disneyland that Lupeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s grandsons expressed concern about her cancer. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They were afraid that I would lose my wig on some of the ridesâ&#x20AC;?, she states. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I did not!â&#x20AC;?

Although she has some issues with lymph system infections, Lupe has been cancer free for fifteen years and tells In the Know that she and Phil live fully and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t dread the thought of cancer recurring. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We welcome each and every new dayâ&#x20AC;?, she added.

Her Story Lupe contends that Phil tried top pick her up at a bus stop on her way home from her after high school job in January 1963. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I ignored himâ&#x20AC;?, she states adamantly. But fate intervened and they ended up â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;a coupleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; after a few dates. One in particular was to a Military Ball in which they both had different dates. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I had to attend the ball with an escort since I was one of the princesses, and I asked Phil to escort my best friend. He has never forgiven me for thatâ&#x20AC;? she adds.

After fifty years of marriage, apparently Phil has forgiven Lupe.

How Cancer has changed her life A Civil Service employee with the Armed Forces, Lupe had amassed a good deal of sick leave when she received her cancer diagnosis. â&#x20AC;&#x153;All in all, it was really a blessing because I was able to use that sick leave during my daily radiation treatments.

Eventually, I was able to retire early due to some restructuring in the finance offices.â&#x20AC;?

Cancer has impacted her life in numerous ways. She has more time now to spend doing the things she really enjoys, like Zumba and walking with Phil and her

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Risk & Prevention

Partners...for life

He said...She said

Both men and women are at risk for certain cancers. Here we break down the risks and offer you advice to help avoid them.

Caring for your partner during cancer treatment can have a profound impact on your relationship. Here we meet a special couple and offer you some advice on how to take on the role of caregiver.

We asked three couples to share their stories about their cancer experience.

Their responses are touching, sometimes funny and always truly inspirational.

ted@snappypublishing.com El Paso, Texas 79912 (915) 820-2800 Those submitting manuscripts, photographs, artwork, or other materials to In the Know for consideration should not send originals unless specifically requested to do so by In the Know in writing. Unsolicited manuscripts, photographs, and other submitted materials must be accompanied by a self-addressed overnight delivery return envelope, postage pre-paid. However, In the Know is not responsible for unsolicited submissions. Š2013 Rio Grande Cancer Foundation. All rights reserved. No part of any article or photograph contained in this magazine may be reproduced in any way without the written consent of In the Know.

In the Know assumes no responsibility whatsoever for errors, including without limitation, typographical errors or omissions in In the Know. Editorial or advertising content in In the Know does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publishers. In the Know assumes no responsibility for the products or services advertised in this magazine. Publisher reserves the right to edit any material or refuse any advertising submitted.

4

n e m en m o w

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Compiled by Patty Tiscareño

Cancer and Women Women are more susceptible to five different types of cancer in particular, including breast, lung, colorectal, NonHodgkin’s lymphoma, and uterine. Women cannot control their genetics and predisposed hereditary risk for cancers, nor the risk factors of their environment (air pollution, chemicals, water contamination), all of which play a strong role in the likelihood of acquiring cancer.

However, certain preventative actions can be taken in order to avoid your likelihood of acquiring cancer, including diet, weight, activity level, and smoking.

Though odds are that 2 out of 3 women will never get cancer, the ones who have were mostly affected by these five types.

Breast Cancer - With an estimated 226,870 cases in 2012 and 39,510 deaths among women in the United States, according to the NCI, breast cancer is the second most prevalent cancer in females.

Age and health history can affect the risk of developing breast cancer, as well as lifestyle choices.There are also preventive measures that can be taken in order to help prevent breast cancer.

Risks • Age: 2 of 3 women with invasive breast cancer are 55 or older.

• Family history: if your mother, sister, or daughter has had breast cancer, your risk is doubled.

• Race: White women have a higher risk than African-American women, though

need to know about cancer risks and prevention

African-Americans are more likely to die from breast cancer, due in part to the probability of accelerated tumor growth.

• Dense breast tissue • A higher than normal number of menstrual periods • Prior exposure to radiation • No pregnancies, or having your first pregnancy after age 30 • Hormone replacement therapy/hormone therapy • Obesity • Alcohol: a study at the University of Oxford of 1.3 million women over a 7-year period, showed that drinking moderately (1 to 3 drinks per week) places you at a higher risk.

5

Prevention • Increasing exercise • Eating healthy foods • Taking medicines to treat a precancerous condition or to keep cancer from starting • Quitting smoking • Decreasing exposure of breast tissue to estrogen (pregnancy, breast-feeding, ovarian ablation, late menstruation, early menopause) • Selective estrogen receptor modulators (SERMs) • Aromatase inhibitors • Prophylactic mastectomy (removal of both breasts with no signs of cancer) • Prophylactic oophorectomy (removal of both ovaries with no signs of cancer) Hodgkin’s lymphoma - also called NHL, or just lymphoma, is cancer that starts in cells called lymphocytes, which are part of the body's immune system. Lymphocytes are in the lymph nodes and other lymphoid tissues, such as the spleen and bone marrow.

In most cases, people diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma don't have any obvious risk factors, and many people who have risk factors for the disease never develop it.

Researchers have found several factors that may affect a person’s chance of getting nonHodgkin’s lymphoma. There are many types of lymphoma, and some of these factors have been linked only to certain types.

Risks • Age - Getting older is a strong risk factor for lymphoma overall, with most cases occurring in people in their 60s or older.

But some types of lymphoma are more common in younger people.

• Gender -overall, the risk of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma is higher in men than in women, but there are certain types of nonHodgkin’s lymphoma that are more common in women • Infection - certain viral and bacterial infections appear to increase the risk of Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Viruses linked to increased Hodgkin’s lymphoma risk include HIV and Epstein-Barr virus.

Bacteria linked to an increased risk of Hodgkin’s lymphoma include the ulcercausing Helicobacter pylori.

• Chemicals - Certain chemicals, such as those used to kill insects and weeds, may increase your risk of developing Hodgkin’s lymphoma. More research is needed to understand the possible link between pesticides and the development of Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

• Immune system deficiency - people with weakened immune systems have an increased risk for non-Hodgkin’s

lymphoma. For example, people who receive organ transplants (kidney, heart, liver) are treated with drugs that suppress their immune system to prevent it from attacking the new organ.

• Autoimmune diseases - Some autoimmune diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis, systemic lupus erythematous (SLE or lupus), celiac sprue (gluten-sensitive enteropathy), and others have been linked with an increased rate of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

• Body weight and diet - studies have suggested that a diet high in fat and meats may raise your risk.

Prevention The best way to reduce the risk for nonHodgkin’s lymphoma is to try to prevent known risk factors such as immune deficiency.

Uterine - Endometrial cancer is a cancer that starts in the inner lining of the womb (uterus). Nearly all cancers of the uterus start in the endometrium. They are called endometrial carcinomas. Cancers can also start in the muscle layer of the uterus.

These cancers belong to the group of cancers called sarcomas.

In this country, cancer of the endometrium is the most common cancer found in women’s reproductive organs. The chance of a woman having this cancer during her lifetime is about one in 38.

Risks • Hormone factors - such as a shift in the balance between estrogen and progesterone • Estrogen therapy - using estrogen to treat symptoms of change of life is known as estrogen therapy or menopausal hormone therapy. Studies show that giving progesterone-type drugs along with the estrogens helps lower the risk of endometrial cancer. But studies also show that giving this combination of the hormones increases a woman's chance of getting breast cancer and blood clots.

• Use of birth control pills • Total number of menstrual cycles (periods): Having more periods during a woman's lifetime raises her risk of endometrial cancer.

• Pregnancy - during pregnancy, the hormone balance shifts toward more progesterone. So having many pregnancies reduces endometrial cancer risk. Women who have never been pregnant have a higher risk.

• Obesity • Use of Tamoxifen, a drug that is used to treat women with breast cancer and to reduce the risk in women who are at a

high risk of getting breast cancer.

• Ovarian tumors: A certain type of ovarian tumor makes estrogen. Women who have these tumors have higher than normal estrogen levels.

• Polycystic ovarian syndrome: Women with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) have hormone levels that are not normal, such as higher androgen (male hormones) and estrogen levels and lower levels of progesterone. The increase in estrogen compared to progesterone can increase a woman's chance of getting endometrial cancer.

• Use of an IUD (intrauterine device) • Age – the risk of endometrial cancer goes up as a woman gets older • Diet and exercise - a high-fat diet can increase the risk of many cancers, including endometrial cancer.

• Diabetes is more common in people who are overweight. This could be why diabetes is a risk factor for endometrial cancer.

• Family history- endometrial cancer appears to run in some families who also tend to get colon cancer.

• Breast or ovarian cancer - women who have had breast cancer or ovarian cancer may have a higher risk of getting endometrial cancer. Some of the risk factors for breast and ovarian cancer also increase endometrial cancer risk.

• Endometrial hyperplasia is an increased growth of the endometrium. The most common type has a very small risk of becoming cancer.

It is important to keep in mind that although these factors may increase a woman's risk for getting endometrial cancer, they do not always cause the disease. Many women with one or more of these risk factors never get endometrial cancer, and some women with endometrial cancer do not have any of these risk factors.

Prevention Although most cases of endometrial cancer cannot be prevented, there are some things that may lower your risk of getting this disease.

• Increasing exercise • Eating healthy foods • Getting to and maintaining a healthy weight • Careful consideration of the use of estrogen to treat the symptoms of menopause

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cancer and men: risks & prevention Cancer and Men Every year, cancer claims the lives of nearly 300,000 men in America. Men can reduce their risk for several of the most common kinds of cancer through simple lifestyle changes. The following are the types of cancer occurring most often in men and tips about how to do your part to prevent getting them within the parameters you can control.

Knowing you are able to take action will set your mind at ease in the future as you age.

Being healthy and active are the best ways to prevent cancer, as well as receiving routing screenings, if necessary.

Lung Cancer claims the highest number of men’s lives in American, over any other type of the disease. The main cause in the majority of cases is cigarette smoking which also causes cancers of the esophagus, larynx, throat, mouth, kidney, pancreas, stomach, bladder and acute myeloid leukemia.

Risks • Smoking • Family history of lung cancer • Secondhand smoke • Radon gas • Arsenic • Tar soot • Asbestos • Beta carotene supplements in heavy smokers Prevention • Increasing exercise • Eating healthy foods • Taking medicines to treat a precancerous condition or to keep cancer from starting • Quitting smoking • Not smoking • Lower exposure to workplace risk factors • Lower exposure to radon gas Prostate Cancer is the second most common cause of cancer death in men and usually occurs in older men. The NCI estimates that 241,000 new cases were found and 28,170 deaths related to prostate cancer occurred in 2012. The average age for being diagnosed with prostate cancer is 67 years old and the median age for death from the disease was 80 years old, according to data from the American Cancer Society. Here are some of the risks and ways to avoid getting the disease.

Risks • Age: prostate cancer is rare in men under 50, chances increase with older age • Family history: if a relative has had prostate cancer, there is a higher-thanaverage risk that you will have it also • Race: prostate cancer occurs more frequently in African-American men than in white men • Receiving a proper amount of testosterone, as too much can lead to the development of prostate cancer • Vitamin E taken alone • A diet high in dairy and calcium may cause a small increase in risk Prevention • Increasing exercise • Eating healthy foods • Taking medicines to treat a precancerous condition or to keep cancer from starting • Quitting smoking • Not smoking • Lower exposure to workplace risk factors • Lower exposure to radon gas Colon and Rectal Cancer - Another family of cancers affecting mainly individuals age 50 and older, colon and rectal cancer can be treated and stopped with screening and early treatment. Abnormal cells usually take 10 to 15 years to develop in the colon, therefore early detection is key. Getting tested and having polyps removed before they become abnormal can control colorectal cancer. It is estimated that 73,420 new cases of this type of cancer were diagnosed in men in 2012.

Risks • Age: risk increases after age 50.

• Family history: having a parent, sibling, or child, who has had colorectal cancer or polyps doubles your risk.

• Personal or family history of inflammatory bowel disease • Obesity • Drinking 3 or more alcoholic beverages daily increases risk.

• Cigarette smoking Prevention • Increasing exercise • Eating healthy foods • Taking medicines to treat a precancerous condition or to keep cancer from starting • Quitting smoking • Aspirin: taking aspirin every day for at

least 5 years decreases the risk of colorectal cancer and subsequent death.

Prolonged use of aspirin gives a high risk of bleeding in the intestines, stomach, or brain, however.

•Polyp removal On a final note Skin cancer is the most common cancer in the United States. The two most common kinds of skin cancer—basal cell and squamous cell carcinomas—are highly curable. But melanoma, the third most common skin cancer, is more dangerous.

About 65%–90% of melanomas are caused by exposure to ultraviolet (UV) light—an invisible kind of radiation that comes from the sun, tanning beds, and sunlamps.

Overall, men have higher rates of melanoma. But among young people, women get it more.

A few serious sunburns can increase your risk of skin cancer. To protect your skin from the sun, seek shade or go indoors during midday hours; wear long sleeves and long pants, a hat with a wide brim, and sunglasses; use sunscreen with a sun protective factor (SPF) of 15 or higher; and avoid indoor tanning.

The number of new cancer cases can be reduced, and many cancer deaths can be prevented. Research shows that screening for cervical and colorectal cancers as recommended helps prevent these diseases by finding precancerous lesions so they can be treated before they become cancerous.

Screening for cervical, colorectal, and breast cancers also helps find these diseases at an early, often highly treatable stage.

Vaccines also help reduce cancer risk.

The human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine helps prevent most cervical cancers and some vaginal and vulvar cancers, and the hepatitis B vaccine can help reduce liver cancer risk. Making cancer screening, information, and referral services available and accessible to all Americans can reduce cancer incidence and deaths.

References: 1. American Cancer Society. “Cancer Facts and Figures.” http://www.cancer.org/research/cancerfactsfigures/index.

2. National Cancer Institute. “Cancer Causes and Risk Factors.” http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/causes.

3. WebMD Health News

7

The PSA controversy: To screen or not to screen…that is the question regardless of age, men without symptoms should not routinely have the prostate-specific antigen (PSA) blood test to screen for prostate cancer.

USPSTF Co-Chair Michael LeFevre, M.D., M.S.P.H. explained that “Prostate cancer is a serious health problem that affects thousands of men and their families. But before getting a PSA test, all men deserve to know what the science tells us about PSA screening: there is a very small potential benefit and significant potential harm. We encourage clinicians to consider this evidence and not screen their patients with a PSA test unless the individual being screened understands what is known about PSA screening and makes the personal decision that even a small possibility of benefit outweighs the known risk of harms.”

The Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) cancer screening test is a simple blood test that measures the blood levels of PSA, the molecule specific to the cells that make up the male prostate gland. Prostate cancer disrupts prostate cells and causes the release of PSA into the blood.

The PSA test was originally developed as a way to detect recurrence in men having already been treated for prostate cancer, since a higher level of PSA indicates a likelihood of cancer. Armed with this test, physicians began giving the test to healthy men with no symptoms of prostate cancer and by 1991, routine PSA screenings became widespread in the U.S. – a year before the start of the first large clinical trial designed to see if PSA screenings actually saved lives.

But because PSA blood levels go up for reasons other than cancer- such as benign prostatic hyperplasia (enlarged prostate) or prostatitis (infection of the prostate), experts deduce that the potential harm outweighs the benefit. For the PSA test to save one man’s life from prostate cancer, 1,000 men must be screened.

In May 2012, the United States Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF), an independent agency composed of experts in preventive medicine, issued new recommendations against prostate cancer screening. That recommendation stated that

And yet, many urologists and patient advocates say otherwise. After skin cancer, prostate cancer is the most diagnosed and most treated cancer in the United States. Physicians who support regular PSA screenings reason that they’ve seen too many men die painfully from prostate cancer and that kind of experience influences opinion much more than statistics.

Because the USPSTF did not recommend PSA screenings, in fact the panel recommended against it – Medicare is not forced to pay for the screening tests. At present, Medicare continues to pay for PSA screenings for men who want it. However, under the Affordable Care Act, private insurers will not be required to cover PSA testing. Whether they will continue to cover it remains a question.

So the question remains… to screen or not to screen.

What’s a man to do?

The American Cancer Society recommends that men discuss the possible risks and benefits of prostate cancer screening with their doctor before deciding whether to be screened. The discussion about screening should take place at age 50 for men who are at average risk of prostate cancer and at age 45 for men who are at higher risk, including AfricanAmerican men.

Sources: WebMD Health News American Cancer Society

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know more> American Cancer Society Guidelines for the Early Detection of Cancer

The American Cancer Society recommends these screening guidelines for most adults.

Breast cancer • Yearly mammograms are recommended starting at age 40 and continuing for as long as a woman is in good health • Clinical breast exam (CBE) about every 3 years for women in their 20s and 30s and every year for women 40 and over • Women should know how their breasts normally look and feel and report any breast change promptly to their health care provider. Breast self-exam (BSE) is an option for women starting in their teens.

Colorectal cancer and polyps Beginning at age 50, both men and women should follow one of these testing schedules: • Flexible sigmoidoscopy every 5 years, or • Colonoscopy every 10 years, or • Double-contrast barium enema every 5 years • CT colonography (virtual colonoscopy) every 5 years Tests that primarily find cancer • Yearly fecal occult blood test • Yearly fecal immunochemical test Cervical cancer • Cervical cancer screening (testing) should begin at age 21. Women under age 21 should not be tested.

• Women between ages 21 and 29 should have a Pap test every 3 years.

Now there is also a test called the HPV test. HPV testing should not be used in this age group unless it is needed after an abnormal Pap test result.

• Women between the ages of 30 and 65 should have a Pap test plus an HPV test (called “co-testing”) every 5 years. This is the preferred approach, but it is also OK to have a Pap test alone every 3 years.

• Women over age 65 who have had regular cervical cancer testing with normal results should not be tested for cervical cancer. Once testing is stopped, it should not be started again. Women with a history of a serious cervical pre-cancer should continue to be tested for at least 20 years after that diagnosis, even if

testing continues past age 65.

• A woman who has had her uterus removed (and also her cervix) for reasons not related to cervical cancer and who has no history of cervical cancer or serious pre-cancer should not be tested.

• A woman who has been vaccinated against HPV should still follow the screening recommendations for her age group.

Endometrial (uterine) cancer The American Cancer Society recommends that at the time of menopause, all women should be told about the risks and symptoms of endometrial cancer. Women should report any unexpected bleeding or spotting to their doctors.

Lung cancer The American Cancer Society has screening guidelines for individuals who are at high risk of lung cancer due to cigarette smoking. If you meet all of the following criteria then you might be a candidate for screening: • 55 to 74 years of age • In fairly good health • Have at least a 30 pack-year smoking history AND are either still smoking or have quit smoking within the last 15 years Prostate cancer The American Cancer Society recommends that men make an informed decision with their doctor about whether to be tested for prostate cancer.

Starting at age 50, men should talk to a doctor about the pros and cons of testing so they can decide if testing is the right choice for them. If they are African American or have a father or brother who had prostate cancer before age 65, men should have this talk with a doctor starting at age 45. If men decide to be tested, they should have the PSA blood test with or without a rectal exam.

How often they are tested will depend on their PSA level.

Cancer-related check-ups For people aged 20 or older having periodic health exams, a cancer-related check-up should include health counseling and, depending on a person’s age and gender, exams for cancers of the thyroid, oral cavity, skin, lymph nodes, testes, and ovaries, as well as for some non-malignant (non-

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A promise of Partnership Cancer can test and strengthen the bond between you

A

cancer diagnosis is something that most married couples never expect and knowing what to do for your spouse depends on several factors. Your spouse may be newly diagnosed, dealing with metastatic cancer, in remission or living in a kind of limbo not knowing whether the cancer is gone.

Being a supportive spouse can be both a rewarding and a difficult role. Most couples agree that the most important aspect of being supportive is continuing to be a loving presence in your spouse’s life during this time and making the process easier for yourself and your spouse.

Supporting One Another - Even though your spouse has been diagnosed with cancer, the experience with illness is happening to both of you. Many of the routines that you as a couple have come to

embrace in your daily lives are quickly disrupted and emotions and concerns surface instantaneously. As a couple begins to confront the issues and challenges, it becomes extremely reassuring to know that the both of you are facing the illness together and support for each other is unwavering regardless of what happens.

Sharing With One Another - This is an important time to discuss and share each other’s feelings about your cancer and not assume to know what your spouse is thinking or feeling about the cancer. Set some time aside and sit down with your spouse to really talk about issues and make a mental checklist of what his or her needs really are. Encourage your spouse to not hold back and confide in you, offering each comfort and support during this difficult time.

Stick to the Reason You Are Together – A cancer diagnosis can quickly become a part of who your spouse is, but don’t let it define them. Focus on the qualities that you love about your spouse – a giving spirit, a beautiful smile, a wonderful sense of humor. All those qualities are still there and are still a big part of your lives.

Being a supportive spouse will garner a greater understanding of the depth and strength of your marriage. Many of the life skills that you were not prepared for before may be the ones that you pick up during this difficult time. Confronting the challenges will make a huge difference in the quality of life and the quality of your relationship.

Reprinted from : http://www.cancerlynx.com

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A promise of Partnership “Faith and family, that’s what it’s all about,” said Irma Ybarra, life partners for 37 years with Rosa Beltran.

Caregiving One couple’s story of strength and support

By Michelle J. Brown It’s the moment your entire life tilts completely off its axis. As any person with cancer and his or her family and friends know, a cancer diagnosis greatly impacts everyone.

Sometimes, the complex feelings and lifestyle changes caused by cancer and its treatment become as overwhelming for caregivers as they are for the patient. Understanding the potential changes in the way everyone relates to each other may help you take steps to foster healthy, mutually supportive relationships during this challenging time.

Caregivers--those who provide physical, emotional, spiritual, financial and/or logistical support to a person diagnosed with cancer— recognize the critical importance of their role and accepting help when needed.

“Faith and family, that’s what it’s all about,” said Irma Ybarra, life partners for 37 years with Rosa Beltran.

When Rosa was first diagnosed in 1992 with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, Irma was still working at the Fort Bliss Dental Clinic.

Rosa’s sister primarily took care of her during days, along with lots of help from nieces and nephews in both their large families.

Physicians declared remission after eight years until three years ago when glioblastoma set in, the most common and aggressive malignant primary brain tumor in humans.

“By then I was retired, so for those four months, I was her full-time caregiver and at times, it was very challenging,” she explained.

“I had to learn patience because Rosa’s strong personality and fierce independence often kept her from being receptive to help. I had to understand her limits and boundaries when she’d be adamant about preferring to do things herself, be it bathing or dressing.

“As a caregiver, it’s a delicate balance but you must respect their needs and monitor your frustrations when you perceive that they aren’t cooperating or are taking chances or risks. But no matter how hard you try, recognize that

you can’t always make them happy or please them every time and that’s okay. You do what you can do, accept outside help whenever possible, be it from family, friends or home health professionals and most of all, love them!”

Their nieces and nephews from El Paso and Juarez often brought breakfast or lunch several times a week, while also assisting with yard work and home improvements. Irma still keeps a journal and credits her coping and progress after Rosa’s passing to family, church and ongoing monthly dinners of the Healing Hearts Grief Support members, originally sponsored by Rio Grande Cancer Foundation.

“Rosa loved the outdoors and nature, so she kept roses and trees and flowers and did much of our landscaping by herself,” said Irma.

“Now with the help of family, I keep her garden growing and add to it as needed and we enjoy wonderful times together relishing our memories and creating wonderful new ones. Rosa’s niece said to me then, ‘We loved our aunt so much and she loved us. She’s gone, but she left us you and we have you and you’re our family!”

Some caregivers find themselves the sole source to meet the needs of their loved ones with cancer.

As an only child of a divorced mom, Blanca Lopez dedicated four years to caregiving when her mother Olga Sanchez developed ovarian cancer.

“Immediately upon her diagnosis, I knew she would need a lot of help,” explained Blanca, Professional Development Coordinator for Ysleta Independent School District. “Mom moved in with me to facilitate her care, but I also had to see after her home, her bills, the doctors’ and treatment appointments, medication management, as well as my full-time job and ongoing doctoral studies at the time.

“It’s natural to feel tired and overwhelmed, but you do it because you love them,” she

explained, stressing that caregivers must allow themselves downtime to rest and re-energize to be the best caregiver possible. “I recognized it as my responsibility and privilege and as a result of that journey, we connected in amazing ways I never realized were possible.”

There were no siblings to assist, but sometimes even when other family is around, the vast bulk still often falls to one person.

And like many children caring for parents in treatment, roles promptly reverse.

“Mom was always my example,” reflects Blanca. “She taught me so I could be there for her. My caregiving experience made me understand the importance of loving, encouraging, listening and patience. All my life, I looked to her for soothing and assurance, but now it was my turn to alleviate her worries and fears. Sometimes you get so close that frustrations mount and we’d argue like little sisters—it’s part of the process. You do what you need to do to be there for them-supporting and respecting their wishes, simplifying things as much as possible, keeping them calm and comfortable and spending every moment possible together.”

Blanca said time should be the most precious priority regardless of a loved one’s health status.

“It’s easy to take each other for granted and forget how cherished family and friends are,” she said. “Life is so short. Every moment is an opportunity to share, even if it’s complimenting a person you don’t know. Be grateful and appreciative because people are important and you can make a difference.”

“I know I did the most I could and the best I could for my Mom, and I wouldn’t change a thing, but I still wish we had shared more chances for quality time, even another movie together or a quiet evening. Cherish all your loved ones every chance you get, because tomorrow is guaranteed to no one.”

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Tips for caregivers Finding out a loved one has cancer can be overwhelming. Cancer affects not only the person diagnosed, but all those who care about that person. You may be wondering, “What should I do now?” Believe and remember that you have the ability to make a difference.

The following ten tips are intended to help you tackle the challenges of caregiving for caregivers.

1. Find YOUR Support System. When a friend or loved one is diagnosed with cancer, it’s an emotional time. Roles and expectations may change (or you may wonder if they are going to change).

Sometimes it’s difficult to talk with your loved one about your feelings, because you both have so much going on. Many find one of the best ways to cope with stress, uncertainty, and loneliness is to talk to others who share similar experiences. You can learn from personal experiences about how to be effective in your new role as a caregiver. Contact The Green House at the Rio Grande Cancer Foundation for more information. If you need additional inperson support, physicians’ offices and hospitals are also great places to seek referrals. Only you can determine what type of support works best for you. What typically doesn’t work is not seeking any support at all.

2. Gather Information. There is truth to the phrase, “Knowledge is power.” There’s no way to completely grasp the ups and downs of a cancer diagnosis and treatment – and you shouldn’t be expected to. Being armed with knowledge may help you accommodate your loved one’s needs, however, and put you at ease because you know what to expect.

3. Recognize a “New Normal.” Patients and caregivers alike report feeling a loss of control after a cancer diagnosis. Many caregivers are asked for advice about medical decisions or managing family finances and/or need to take on new day-today chores. It is likely that your tasks as a caregiver will create new routines – after all, you’re taking on a new role in the patient’s life as well as your own. It is important to acknowledge that your home life, finances, and friendships may change for a period of time. Sometimes the laundry might not get done, or maybe takeout will replace home cooking. Try to manage each day’s priority as it comes – it’s okay to put other tasks on hold. Take a deep breath and realize that the support you provide is priceless.

4. Relieve Your Mind, Recharge Your Body.

It can be easy to feel overwhelmed by the tasks of caregiving. Mini-breaks are an easy way to replenish your energy and lower your stress. Try simple activities like taking a walk around the block or closing your eyes for 10 minutes in a comfortable chair.

Taking time for yourself is not selfish – it’s

wants, assistance. It is in everyone’s best interest that you begin this process sooner rather than later. Having essential paperwork under control will allow you to have peace of mind.

necessary. You are working hard to provide and secure the best care for your loved one.

Time spent recharging your mind and body will allow you to avoid depression or burnout. Research shows the person you’re caring for benefits most when you are healthy and your life is balanced.

5. Take Comfort in Others. Caregiving can sometimes take a great deal of time. Many caregivers feel a loss of personal time over the course of their loved one’s illness. Keep in mind that while you are taking on new and additional responsibilities, you are still allowed a life of your own.Many seasoned caregivers advise that you continue to be involved with your circle of friends and family. For some, remaining involved might mean playing an active role in school or community activities. For others, it may mean weekly visits with a best friend. Only you can determine the level of involvement that is right for you, and that level may change over time. No matter your choice, it is certain that you will appreciate having someone to turn to as you care for your loved one.

6. Plan for the Future. A common feeling among caregivers and people with cancer is uncertainty. It’s hard to know what the future holds. While planning may be difficult, it can help. Try to schedule fun activities on days when your loved one is not feeling the side effects of treatment. You can also give yourselves something to look forward to by planning together how you will celebrate the end of treatment, or a portion of treatment. Planning for a future in the long-term is also important and can be increasingly stressful for a caregiver when sometimes, two futures are being planned – one based on survival and the other based on the possibility of losing your loved one. All of us, whether we have been diagnosed with cancer or not, should have in place necessary paperwork such as healthcare agent, power of attorney and a will. You can ask your loved one if he or she needs, or

7. Accept a Helping Hand. It’s okay to have ‘helpers.’ In fact, you may find that learning to let go and to say “YES!” will ease your anxiety and lift your spirits. People often want to chip in, but aren’t quite sure what type of assistance you need. It’s helpful to keep a list of all caregiving tasks, small to large. That way, when someone asks, “Is there anything I can do?” you are able to offer specific choices.

8. Be Mindful of YOUR Health. In order to be strong for your loved one, you need to take care of yourself. It’s easy to lose sight of your own health when you’re focused on your loved one. But if your own health is in jeopardy, who will take care of your loved one? Be sure to tend to any physical ailments of your own that arise – this includes scheduling regular checkups and screenings. And just like your mother told you: eat well and get enough sleep.

9. Control Stress. Even if you’ve never practiced mind-body exercises before, you may find that meditation, yoga, listening to music, or simply breathing deeply will relieve your stress. Research shows that these practices can enhance the immune system as well as the mind’s ability to influence bodily function and relieve symptoms. Mind-body (or stress-reduction) interventions use a variety of techniques to help you relax mentally and physically.

Examples include meditation, guided imagery, and healing therapies that tap your creative outlets such as art, music or dance.

If this interests you, seek out guidance or instruction to help you become your own “expert” on entering into a peaceful, rejuvenated state.

10. Do What You Can, Admit What You Can’t. Even seasoned caregivers find themselves caught up in the whirlwind of appointments, daily errands and medicine doses. No one can do everything. It’s OK to acknowledge your limits. Come to terms with feeling overwhelmed (it will happen) and resolve to be firm when deciding what you can and cannot handle on your own.

Your loved one needs you. You cannot do this alone. Together, you can get through.

Source: cancersupportcommunity.org

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She says

He Said...

She Said...

We asked three couples to share their stories about their cancer experience. Our questions covered everything from their diagnosis through treatment and beyond.

Here are their answers.

By Patty Tiscareño and Izzy Mora

Lupe Sanchez “We were in Mazatlan, Mexico in September 1996 celebrating my husband’s birthday when I discovered a lump in my left breast,” says Lupe Sanchez of the breast cancer she discovered on her own.

“I didn’t want to spoil the trip, so I waited until we got home,” she adds. Subsequent tests, including ultrasounds and a biopsy revealed the presence of a cancerous tumor in her left breast.

The couple was planning a November trip to Washington, D.C. and asked Lupe’s physician if they could delay the treatment until after the trip. “I wore my first wig in Christmas of 1996”, says Lupe of the subsequent hair loss due to chemotherapy.

A mastectomy in February 1997 was followed by a regime of radiation therapy.

It was during a spring break trip to Disneyland that Lupe’s grandsons expressed concern about her cancer. “They were afraid that I would lose my wig on some of the rides”, she states. “I did not!”

Although she has some issues with lymph system infections, Lupe has been cancer free for fifteen years and tells In the Know that she and Phil live fully and don’t dread the thought of cancer recurring. “We welcome each and every new day”, she added.

Her Story Lupe contends that Phil tried top pick her up at a bus stop on her way home from her after school job in January 1963. “I ignored him”, she states adamantly. But fate intervened and they ended up ‘a couple’ after a few dates. One in particular was to a Military Ball in which they both had different dates. “I had to attend the ball with an escort since I was one of the princesses, and I asked Phil to escort my best friend. He has never forgiven me for that” she adds.

After fifty years of marriage, apparently Phil has forgiven Lupe.

How Cancer has changed her life A Civil Service employee with the Armed Forces, Lupe had amassed a good deal of sick leave when she received her cancer diagnosis. “All in all, it was really a blessing because I was able to use that sick leave during my daily radiation treatments.

Eventually, I was able to retire early due to some restructuring in the finance offices.”

Cancer has impacted her life in numerous ways. She has more time now to spend doing the things she really enjoys, like Zumba and walking with Phil and her

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beloved cocker spaniels. She also volunteers her time and energy at Sierra Medical Center and along with her husband, helps coordinate an El Paso effort of the American Cancer Society CPS-3 (Cancer Prevention Research Study Three). When they aren’t working in the family business, Rio Industrial Supply, the couple loves to travel.

Who is the more sensitive one in your relationship?

Me. Definitely me.

What is your spouses’ best feature?

Phil’s best feature is that he never holds a grudge!

What is the sweetest thing your spouse did for you during your cancer experience?

He agreed with me to postpone my cancer treatment until we had taken our Washington D.C. trip.

If you had to choose a song or a famous couple who best represents you, what would it be?

“He’s So Fine” has been our theme song for almost fifty years. And, I think we are probably most akin to Sonny and Cher. I was very shy and Phil was most assertive when we met. Prior to meeting him, I had seriously considered becoming a nun.

He says

Phil Sanchez Phil is one of those rare men who have always made adherence to his health a priority. Every year in September, his birthday month, Phil scheduled his annual urological exam, which included measuring his PSA level and a Digital Rectal Exam (DRE). For twelve years, the standard reply from his urologist was “all’s well… see you next year”.

In 2006, the PSA level came back at 2.3 when in the past it had always presented below 1.00. On the advice of his physician and with the support of his wife, Lupe, Phil

opted to wait several months and repeat the exam. The subsequent exam yielded a 4.4 PSA score and the biopsy concluded a prostate cancer diagnosis. The good news was that the cancer was contained and had not spread beyond the immediate area.

Phil, Lupe and their medical team weighed all the options, including surgery, radiation and even “wait and see”. The right choice for Phil turned out to be 46 radiation therapy treatments and two hormone therapy treatment. Interestingly, the radiation oncologist was the same physician who had treated Lupe Sanchez in 1997 for her own breast cancer.

In January 2008, Phil was declared ‘cancer free’ but continues to adhere to annual check- ups with his urologist.

His Story In 1963, Phil Sanchez was home on leave from a two year overseas assignment in the Far East for the Air Force. He was sporting a uniform, a cavalier attitude and a new car, which he was on his way to show his best friend, when he spotted a ‘foxy’ girl getting off the bus. Being the gentlemen he was, he offered the young lady a ride, which she adamantly refused! “Well, that’s that,” thought Phil.

A few days later, Phil and his friend decided to double date and he was dubiously surprised to see that Lupe, the fox from the bus stop, was his friend’s date! Phil’s persistence and charisma ultimately wore her down and in May 1963 they got engaged and were married in December 1963.

Phil and Lupe Sanchez will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary in December 2013, and throughout those years, their lives have been peppered with times of great joys as well as great sorrows. Their union produced three children, Michael, Rosemary and Phillip, who died at the age of twenty-five months from a fall. They are blessed with three grandsons, Max, who works for Exxon Mobile in Fairfax, Virginia, Philip, a free-lance photographer in Hollywood, California and Nicholas who works with his grandparents in their family business.

How Cancer has changed his life Having undergone treatment for his cancer that affected his hormones, Phil has a deeper appreciation for the plight of women who suffer through hormone changes. “I had side effects like hot flashes, weight gain, pain in my joints and night sweats”, says Phil.

Cancer has impacted his life in numerous ways. He puts his appreciation for life, his good health and the need to help his fellow man as priorities since his recovery. Both he and his wife, Lupe are involved with the American Cancer Society CPS-3 (Cancer Prevention Research Study Three) and help coordinate the enrollment of study participants consisting of men and women between the ages of 30 and 65 who have never been personally diagnosed with cancer and are willing to make a long-term commitment to the study. Phil asserts that “it’s important for me to share what I know about the cancer experience with others. Since my own experience, my friendships and family relationships have grown ever stronger”.

Who is the more sensitive one in your relationship?

My wife is the one who cries at sappy movies and picks up the stray animals.

What is your spouses’ best feature?

Lupe’s best feature is her love, forgiveness and understanding of me, especially when I am at my worst.

What is the sweetest thing your spouse did for you during your cancer experience?

During my 46 radiation therapy treatments, Lupe convinced me to take my ‘build a bear’ – Buddy – to each treatment. He is dressed as a medical tech and was how I survived day by day. Never come between a man and his bear!

If you had to choose a song or a famous couple who best represents you, what would it be?

I like to think that Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman best represent us; Lupe is quiet, beautiful and smart. I’m outgoing, entrepreneurial, somewhat loud, and very much in love with my wife. I particularly like a quote from Paul Newman when a reporter asked him about the lure of so many beautiful Hollywood starlets. He answered, ‘why would I settle for hamburger when I have prime rib at home?’

Know more couples>

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She says Tycha Stading It has been quoted that, as a general rule, teachers teach more by what they are than by what they say. This is particularly true of Tycha Stading, teacher, wife, mother and grandmother and cancer survivor who retired from her vocation of teaching after forty years.

Anyone who knows Tycha Stading can attest to her ability to be positive and lighthearted, even in the most challenging of situations. In June 2007, she was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer. “I had chemotherapy for six months, a uni-lateral mastectomy and six weeks of radiation. I jokingly say, ‘I have been burned, bombed, bald poisoned and amputated, but otherwise, I’m great!”

Wed to Ron Stading, the couple will be married forty-four years on November 23, 2013. “We met at the University of Nebraska in Lincoln at the end of Ron’s junior and my sophomore year. It was a blind date arranged by Ron’s fraternity brother and my sorority sister”, says Tycha.

Ron and Tycha have two sons, Tige and Tyron and welcomed a grandson in November 2012.

How Cancer has changed her life Tycha tells In the Know that theirs has always been a close family, but that cancer has brought them even closer. “We have both been given the gift of time to tell loved ones and friends how much they mean to us.” The Stadings are generous with their time, energy and support of causes which help provide hope to people enduring difficult times. “Both of us feel we have been blessed in numerous ways and we are trying hard to help others. The verse which is often quoted is, ‘To whom much is given, much is required.”

The couple’s love of travel has taken them to places throughout the globe, but the most special places involve time with family and friends.

Tycha is fond of quoting a passage from Randy Pausch’s book The Last Lecture regarding living life to the fullest. Pausch says “we cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”

Who is the more sensitive one in your relationship?

I am far more emotional, sentimental and sensitive than Ron. What is your spouses’ best feature?

Ron is a tremendous problem solver. He has a great positive attitude, is extremely compassionate and is highly intelligent.

What is the sweetest thing your spouse did for you during your cancer experience?

Ron has been by my side throughout my cancer experience and is a fabulous caregiver; just what you would expect from your best friend.

If you had to choose a song or saying who best represents you, what would it be?

Our special song has always been “More.”

The first line of the song is “more than the greatest love the world has known.

He says ”

Ron Stading Tall and tan with a mix of Hollywood appeal, Ron Stading is the picture of good health. Not surprisingly, his fair complexion and time spent outdoors resulted in bouts with basal and squamous cell skin cancers as well as melanoma. But in October 2009, Ron, a non-smoker, received a diagnosis of Stage IV adenocarcinoma, a type of nonsmall cell lung cancer. He was told it was inoperable.

“It was especially surprising since I have never smoked”, says Stading, “but I’ve learned that approximately 12% of all Stage IV cancer diagnoses involve non-smokers”.

Ron knows that the survival statistics for this type of cancer with malignant plural effusion are not very good. “It’s now been over three and a half years; I’m very fortunate to be here to write about it”, he says. He shares that his treatment protocol has been fairly easy compared with the normal chemotherapy typically given with this diagnosis. “All in all, I consider myself very fortunate. For two and a half years, I only had to take a pill once a day which has given Tycha and I time to travel, play and most importantly, not dwell on the cancer diagnosis.”

During his cancer experience, Ron has sent periodic e-mails sharing medical updates, memories and inspirational musings with many friends, family and associates. The online journal helps him deal with the physical and emotional challenges and also provides hope and inspiration for readers or

their loved ones on their own cancer journeys. Borrowing a popular anonymous quote, he writes in an early post: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

His Story In the Know asked Ron to share examples of when life presented the couple with ‘for better or for worse’. “That’s a difficult question to answer because every husband should tell you to only talk about the better times of your marriage. Ours is probably very similar to everyone married couple reading this article. I can say that cancer was difficult, but that being a caregiver for her during her cancer treatments and now experiencing the role as a care receiver has been a special bonding time for both of us.”

How Cancer has changed his life Ron contends that cancer has altered their lifestyle very little. “We try hard not to allow cancer to affect the way we live; clearly it has changed, but it is a matter of attitude.

Each day could be worse than it was. I know lots of other cancer patients are experiencing more pain and stress than I did, so why be negative? It doesn’t do you or the people around you any good,” he says.

The Stadings continue to stay busy enjoying each day and planning their next trip. They love being grandparents and building new memories. “We just returned from an extended trip to the Middle East and Southeast Asia”, says Ron. “We’ve always enjoyed travelling, but now each trip, wherever you travel, becomes that much more special”, he adds.

Who is the more sensitive one in your relationship?

She has always been the more sensitive person in our marriage; I love that quality about her.

What is your spouses’ best feature?

Tycha’s best feature is that she is a genuinely caring, giving and loving person who is a wonderful friend to many.

What is the sweetest thing your spouse did for you during your cancer experience?

My wife is an educator, a learner. So during my cancer treatment, she thinks she has become a nurse and a doctor without ever having attended the requisite schools!

If you had to choose a song or a famous couple who best represents you, what would it be?

I don’t think there are any couples who represent us; we are definitely a unique duo!

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‘Ron has been by my side throughout my cancer experience and is a fabulous caregiver; just what you would expect from your best friend.’

Tycha & Ron Stading

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She says Melissa Offutt A talented marketing professional, Melissa Offutt is always busy. “ I love organizing. Filing, donating clothes, finding homes for items I have no use for; making lists and being able to check off the items gives me a sense of accomplishment. I also love researching. If I’m interested in buying an item, I’ll research it to death, buy it, and I won’t take it out of the box until I’m sure I want to own it.

She is never, however, too busy to toe the line when it comes to her health and she maintains that annual, medical examinations are a must. “I had always kept up with my annual exams”, says Offutt. During a self-examination of her breasts, Melissa encountered a lump that was both large and painful. Having had an MRI on a questionable encounter just nine months prior, Melissa took matter seriously. After a couple of uncomfortable biopsies and other tests, she received the news of a breast cancer diagnosis. “I got the news on Ryan’s 33rd birthday, so I kept the news to myself so we could enjoy his day. A couple of days later, I told him”, she adds.

Her Story “I never believed in love at first sight.

Having been married and divorced, I was a bit jaded to the notion. But Ryan had me at ‘Hello.’ Although I knew he was interested, my strong personality worried him a bit. He needed convincing. He calls it stalking; I call it persistent. I knew he was the right man for me and I wasn’t going to let him go,”she says.

When asked about the fact of being not only a couple, but a couple who’ve both had cancer, Melissa explains. “All couples argue and disagree. It’s the nature of trying to put two people together, who have been reared in different environments, have strong opinions and varied life experiences.

It really is a lot to ask of two people – come together and live under the same roof “happily ever after.” It takes work and perseverance, love and patience. I’m a little short on the patience virtue. But I’ve learned that it is a very valuable tool. The hardest part was figuring out how to communicate effectively, but once we did that, it also became the most rewarding. Knowing you’ve chosen to be with someone who will always “have your back” is a wonderful feeling.”

How Cancer has changed her life Melissa sees cancer as a double edged sword. Good and bad. She says she is a better person for having gone through a harrowing, life-changing event. “On the other hand”, she states, “it has changed some of the attributes I liked most about myself. My hair isn’t the same, nor is my figure. I am lactose-intolerant now and went through instant menopause because of a needed hysterectomy associated with the breast cancer. But, Ryan still finds me sexy and I can choose to be large breasted one day and small the next. It’s kinda fun, in a strange way.”

Who is the more sensitive one in your relationship?

Before cancer, Ryan was more sensitive and I was very insensitive. But the both of us have become very sensitive to each other.

He’ll call me and ask “Do you have a headache?” And my reply is, “Yes, I’ve had it for a while.” He’ll say, “Well, take something, because I can’t work with a headache.” We seem to be very connected now in a way we never expected. We can finish each other’s sentences and know what’s on the other’s mind. It’s rather interesting and a little creepy at the same time.

What is your spouses’ best feature?

Ryan is a total geek. He can build a computer from scratch, buy a new camera and make it into something truly unique; he can take a small space and make it very functional and attractive. He’s got a great smile too!

What is the sweetest thing your spouse did for you during your cancer experience?

I don’t know if you would call it sweet, but he didn’t throw up when the surgeon removed my drain. It was really gross and smelled horrible. Ryan does not have a strong stomach. But he stood there, holding my hand making conversation, while this

tube was being pulled out of me, dripping with bodily fluids and reeking like sweaty socks. When it flopped out and some of the fluid hit his glasses, he stood there and didn’t flinch. Although I did see a glimpse of queasiness drift across his face.

What drove you the craziest about your spouse during the cancer experience?

He was a bit over the top about germs. But it was for my own good. But having a young daughter, it was hard for her to understand the new routine – leave shoes and backpack outside, go straight in the house and wash hands and arms, go down to the laundry room and change clothes, before touching Mommy. Since my white blood cell count was non-existent, we had to be very careful about cleanliness and personal contact.

If you had to choose a song or a famous couple who best represents you, what would it be?

She says it would be Fred and Ginger, he contends that they are better suited as Leia and Hans Solo! “But the song would definitively be from the movie Real Genius… “Number One”, says Offutt.

He says

Ryan Martinez Ryan Martinez gives all the credit to the grace of God for discovering his bladder cancer early. “I lifted something very heavy.

Then I went to the restroom where my urine was nothing but blood. At first I was really worried, but a little while later, I went to the restroom again and the blood had lessened.” He did what most husbands

17

would do in this situation: he called his wife who was in a meeting at the time. “So I went to work”, says Martinez, “and as the day progressed, I felt weaker and out-ofsorts”. Both he and his wife, Melissa agreed the situation needed medical attention. After many ultrasounds and appointments, he received the diagnoses, that at age 35, he had Transitional Cell Carcinoma (TCC) bladder cancer.

“The urologist had only seen one other patient with that cancer at my age. I was scheduled for surgery the next day. He removed the tumor and treated my bladder with chemotherapy. Six weeks later at my follow-up, the urologist was visibly frustrated with the pathology report. There were variations in the report that were not consistent with his belief that he had removed all the cancer. After much discussion, we agreed to allow him to operate again.” Results from that surgery proved even more diverse. “At that point, we decided we needed to go to MD Anderson, where I had a third surgery”, says Martinez. After the final surgery, a welcomed prognosis occurred. It appeared that the cancer had been completely eradicated, but would need follow up with the oncologist every six months and with my internist every 3 months.” Interestingly, Ryan did not meet any of the standard criteria for bladder cancer such as a prior family history. It was concluded that environmental effects were believed to be the cause for his bladder cancer.

His Story Ryan is a self-admitted night owl. “I find peace in the evening stars while I walk and solace in the quiet of the night. With the day behind me, I can focus on prayer and being thankful for all my blessings.” Among the blessings he counts is his wife, Melissa Offutt. “Melissa caught my attention with her great legs and ability to captivate an audience with her story-telling abilities. Also, I knew she was fierce and tenacious, yet on the inside, she was caring and devoted to those she loved. Watching her with her young daughter demonstrated to me that although she was no push-over, she was tender and loving. I knew I had found someone to spend the rest of my life with”.

When ITK asked Ryan to share with our readers a little about the ‘for better or worse’ in marriage, he hesitated. “That’s a hard question, because Melissa shows her

Ryan Martinez & Melissa Offutt

love for me every day. I knew no matter what, she would be there. She loves a challenge, and regardless of what the doctors said, she would question them, demand explanations and research their recommendations. She’s always saying that’s why they call it practicing medicine because that’s what they do, every day, on each one of us.”

How Cancer has changed his life “Since we knew my cancer was related to the environment, through a process of careful evaluation, I determined the one factor that was consistent throughout my entire life: I drank bottled water. Once I plunged into the research, it was clear the BPH factor in plastic was an issue. Although this agent is inert when cool, once the plastic becomes warm, whether through direct sunlight or heat, the chemical is released into the water. It is a known carcinogen in this active state. Therefore, we purchased a distiller and to this day, we make our own water. We do not eat microwavable entrees or heat food in plastic of any kind. Nor do we purchase canned goods lined with plastic. We also have carefully evaluated our eating habits and have chosen to eat only organic meat, and less of it. We have eliminated nearly all refined products from our diet. And we are avid label readers”, admits Ryan.

Who is the more sensitive one in your relationship?

We both are very sensitive. We both want to save every stray dog and are moved by stories that remind us that we are truly fortunate to have each other.

What is your spouses’ best feature?

‘Stems’ up to her neck. LOL. What is the sweetest thing your spouse did for you during your cancer experience?

She would have arm-wrestled the Hulk to defend me, care for me and encourage me.

One of the hardest, yet most important turning points in my treatment was when she looked me dead in the eyes and asked me to fight. I was not prepared to continue, but I couldn’t let her down.

What drove you the craziest about your spouse during the cancer experience?

When Melissa and my Mom tangled over my care. Naturally, they both were looking out for my well-being. But it made me sad and uncomfortable. They tried to agree to disagree, but when the two people you love most in the world argue for you, it is hard to watch. I’m happy to report all is well now.

If you could choose a song that best represents your spouse, what would it be?

David Mathews Band “You and Me”

18

know&tell

Tai chi Ancient art improves patientâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s quality of life The ancient Chinese Internal Martial Art known as Tai Chi has for many years been beneficial to it's practitioners for many different reasons. As a martial art it is so effective that it was taught to the Emperors Imperial Guards in the mid 1800's.

However today, millions the world over practice and study this art for reasons other than for its original martial purpose.

For one, it is known to aid the balance challenged and seniors to prevent not only potentially dangerous falls but to help them in overcoming the very "fear" of falling.

Another amazing aspect of this ancient internal art is its ability to aid individuals with serious medical issues. In fact recent studies have found that tai chi was shown to improve heart and lung function, strength, flexibility, self-esteem and quality of life in women who have had breast cancer.

A 2004 study at the Wilmot Cancer Center in Rochester, NY, assigned 21 women who had been treated for breast cancer to either 12 weeks of tai chi or 12 weeks of participation in a psychosocial support group, both for 1 hour, 3 times a

week. The women who practiced tai chi showed significant improvements in selfesteem and quality of life when compared with the women in the psychosocial support group. According to researchers, tai chi may have more of a positive impact on self-esteem than the psychosocial support group because: â&#x20AC;˘ The physical aspects of self-esteem might have more meaning for breast cancer survivors than for other groups of people. â&#x20AC;˘ Since tai chi is a more active practice than participation in a support group, tai chi might help create a sense of being in control.

In a more recent Wilmot Cancer Center study published in 2006, 21 women who had been treated for breast cancer were randomly assigned either to practice tai chi or to participate in a psychosocial support group, both for 1 hour, 3 times a week for 12 weeks. This time, researchers studied the women's heart and lung function, muscular strength, and flexibility. While the women in the psychosocial support group showed improved flexibility, the women in

By Ray Abeyta

the tai chi group showed improvements in all 3 categories, as well as a slight reduction in percentage of body fat.

Finally, one aspect of tai chi that is not always understood by westerners is the "Qi" or energy gathering aspect of daily tai chi practice. "Qi" is the Chinese word for life force and although many westerners have a difficult time understanding what this "qi" is, they don't hesitate to go to an acupuncturist for various health issues. Tai Chi and the related art of qigong (chee kung), improves the flow of this life force energy like acupuncture but without using needles. In fact there are forms of medical qigong designed to fight cancer and improve one's life force through daily practice.

My suggestion to those who are cancer patients or survivors is to go to a tai chi/qigong teacher and find out for yourself how this ancient Chinese art can aid in your recovery and give you a more peaceful state of mind and spirit.

Source: Texas School of Tai Chi - Sifu Ray Abeyta - Site: www.TexasTaiChi.net

Know more>

Know the author> Ray Abeyta, who has been practicing the ancient Chinese Art of Tai Chi Chuan for over 25 years, is the owner and full-time head instructor at the Texas School of Tai Chi in ElPaso, TX. He not only teaches public & private classes, but has been the official Tai Chi teacher of the El Paso Fire Department for over six years. He also teaches at White Acres and Monte Vista Retirement Homes. Ray has won many National and International Tai Chi Campionships.

Contact information: taichitex@sbcglobal.net

20

know&tell â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Keep On Dancingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and Gifts that Keep On Giving By: John R.P. Del Rosario

For the last four years, the Rio Grande Cancer Foundation has celebrated cancer survivorship within the community with its annual Keep On Dancing Cancer Survivorship Conference.

The conference resets for its fifth goaround this year on August 24, once again at the Wyndham El Paso Airport Hotel.

"I love it," said Steve Fox, president of Hoy-Fox and 12-year cancer survivor of the annual conference. The conference is aimed at the needs of cancer survivors and their families featuring a mix of informational and recreational presentations from how to cope with stress from your diagnosis to educational presentations about the benefits of sleep and drinking water to introductions to things like scrapbooking and Tai Chi. "The Keep On Dancing Conference was begun as an homage to a similar conference that takes place at MD Anderson in Houston," said Izzy Mora, Director of Marketing and Communications at the Rio Grande Cancer Foundation.

"The reason for this conference is based on information citing much stronger cancer survivor numbers. These cancer survivors must take special care of their health in the physical, nutritional, emotional and spiritual to deter cancer recurrence. This conference offers them different tools, ideas and skills to assist them in the journey through survivorship."

"They have great speakers who talk about survival," Fox continued. "And they not only talk about surviving, but thriving.

There's a difference between surviving and thriving, and Keep On Dancing is all about thriving, excelling, enjoying your life."

Close to 200 people attend the conference each year on average, Fox included, who with his Hoy-Fox Lexus was able to donate a sizable $2,500 to the event that translated into $5,000 through Toyota's Dealer Match Program. The Dealer Match Program, started in 2011, is a program by the national branch of the company where they match up to $10,000 in donations made by dealers to as many as four local charities or deserving causes.

An example of deserving cause that is not an established non-profit charity organization is something like a scholarship to for a high school graduate in need as he or she looks towards college.

Last year, Fox maxed out his potential $20,000 of matched funds ($10,000 each from Toyota and Lexus, the latter, of course, being the luxury vehicle division of Toyota Motor Corporation) which he spread out among various charities.

This kind of corporate philanthropic outreach is something that Fox thinks is great but more people need to be made aware of for their benefit.

"Last year, Toyota gave away 100 cars throughout the country and El Paso didn't get any of those cars," Fox said of Toyota's 100 Cars For Good Program which gives away 100 cars every year to deserving non-profits through an online nomination and voting process.

"Maybe someone from a local non-profit is in need of those cars to transport patients to and from appointments," Fox said. "They need to know that there are programs so that at least someone in El Paso can start asking about these free cars."

Last year, 100 non-profits benefitted from the program, from a battered women's shelter in Anchorage, Alaska that received a Tundra to an animal rescue shelter in Terryville, Connecticut that received a Highlander.

Another program Toyota has, in collaboration with the National Audobon Society, is TogetherGreen, a conservation program that gives grants and fellowships to conservation efforts all around the country. Since 2008, more than 200 projects that help protect land, energy and water have been funded, totaling over $4.7 million in grants by Toyota. Though desolate, the Chihuahua Desert is capable of providing conservation projects to build leaders, engage the community and encourage environmental involvement and TogetherGreen would be a feasible way of funding it.

Being a 12-year cancer survivor gives Fox a personal stake in contributing to cancer-related organizations and events,

but he is also in good company as Toyota, along with its dealers across the country have been particularly passionate about fighting the disease through funding.

Through Toyota, Samantha Busch, wife of NASCAR racer Kyle Busch, designed a breast cancer awareness t-shirt, the proceeds of its sales going to Carolina Breast Friends, an organization that provides support for women with breast cancer in North Carolina. A contest was held by Toyota to determine the winning tshirt design after which Toyota donated $5,000 to Carolina Breast Friends on behalf of the contestants.

Last year in Kansas City, Missouri, Moelle Toyota-Scion donated $10,800 to the American Cancer Society after holding a pumpkin design contest among its employees promising to donate one dollar for every vote cast for the pumpkins on their Facebook page.

In Carmel, Indiana, Tom Wood, owner of the Tom Wood Automotive Group (under which Tom Wood Toyota exists) lost his battle with cancer in 2010. Since then, the whole company has been geared toward giving to and participating in cancerrelated causes, especially the annual Relay for Life. Their team, "Remembering Tom Wood" has helped the event raise its average $40,000 every year.

Last year, Fox was able to show gratitude on behalf of local cancer survivors to some of Toyota's executives at a meeting that took place in New Zealand.

"I was able to share with them firsthand my personal gratitude on behalf of the Rio Grande Cancer Foundation for their enabling us to host Keep On Dancing," he said of his personal exchanges with President of Toyota North America of Yoshi Anaba, his wife Yoko, Toyota North America CEO James Lentz and his wife Barbara. "The Rio Grande Cancer Foundation gave me about 30 Keep On Dancing t-shirts when I went to New Zealand to pass out and I ran completely out. The Toyota dealers I was with all wanted to know about the event and they all had a cancer survivor they wanted to take a t-shirt to."

Pictured above: Steve and Nancy Fox with Yoki & Yoshi Anaba.

know where to go Jewish Family and Children’s Services

SATURDAY, JUNE 22

ASCARATE PARK CHECK-IN: 6AM RUN: 8:30AM WALK: 9AM COLOR PARTY: 10AM Feb 22-24: $35 Feb 25-Mar 31: $40 Apr 1-Jun 21: $45 Jun 22-$60 CHOOSE YOUR CHARITY Child Crisis Center Rio Grande Cancer Foundation Paso Del Norte Childrens Development Center Border Aids Partnership

This 5K Run/Walk will benefit four El Paso Not-for-profits.

Register online at: erace3.com

By Jutta Ramirez Most people only have a rough idea of what is involved in counseling. Television, movies, magazines and popular self-help books often give only the basic idea of what goes on in various forms of therapy. If you are facing a profound challenge, such as a cancer diagnosis in your family, which can stun, terrify, and change lives, professional counselors can help sustain and improve coping skills.

A common emotional reaction to cancer experienced by loved ones and the patient is depression. This intense period of hopelessness is also associated with too much or too little sleeping or eating, irrational guilt, lack of motivation and interest in activities, and a sense of sadness, either profound or just consistent “blah”. In children, irritability is another trademark for depression, so families need to know that symptoms are not always the same for adults and children. Although science is still unsure about what causes depressive episodes, it is clear that perpetual stress and illness are enormous contributors to evolving healthy sadness into clinical depression.

Thus, when cancer strikes a family member, the overwhelming demands such as medical appointments, financial hardship and the confusion and anger surrounding the cancer itself can combine to leave one vulnerable to depression.

Along with emotional responses, when cancer is present within a family, changes in family relationships are inevitable. For example, a child whose sibling has cancer may become jealous of the attention given to the patient and then feel guilty for this frustrating emotion.

Spouses may lose intimacy or sexual

interest as a patient’s health becomes a focus and other priorities take a back seat.

Families can also expect that, sometimes, they will want a break from the whole cancer experience, especially when the patient is being cared for at home. It is important to realize that these reactions and emotions are normal and do not indicate selfishness or lack of concern.

Knowing when professional services are needed and knowing where they might be obtained is an important realization. "If someone is questioning if they should go into counseling that is probably the best indicator that they should," says Dr. William King, a mental health counselor in private practice in Indianapolis, Indiana. "You should trust your instincts."

The counseling programs at the Jewish Family and Children’s Services are open to anyone regardless of religious affiliations.

The agency offers these services to individuals, couples and families who are encountering problems in their daily lives that go beyond their own abilities to resolve.

The professional counseling staff teaches life skills such as communication, anger management, problem-solving, relationship enrichment, parenting, anxiety, stress management and building self-esteem, to name a few.

The programs at the Jewish Family and Children’s Services are provided utilizing a sliding fee scale based on household income.

Now aren’t you glad you “know where to go”!

Jewish Family and Children’s Services 401 Wallenberg El Paso, TX 79912 Ph: 581-3256

Where to get ‘In the Know’ Pick up your free copy of In the Know at these locations: All Mister Car Wash Locations • 6355 Montana • 8857 Gateway West • 4800 Osborne • 12120 Montwood • 8835 N. Loop • 11184 Vista del Sol • 1482 George Dieter All Martin Tire Locations • 901 Texas • 12110 Montwood • 9425 Montana • 5255 Woodrow Bean, Suite 1 • 1342 N. Lee Trevino • 8008 N. Mesa • 901 Talbot, Canutillo

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Visit rgcf.org for past issues of In the Know

A little help from our friends The Sgt.Pepper’s Wondrous Wigorium Concert was held May 4, 2013 at the Chamizal Theatre. The proceeds raised from the event support the Four Seasons Beauty Program at the Rio Grande Cancer Foundation.

Rio Grande Cancer Foundation 10460 Vista del Sol Suite 101 El Paso, TX 79925

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