most valuable skills

While Marksmen alumni are fully equipped for the intellectual and moral challenges of adulthood, some practical knowledge necessitated by independent living cannot be taught in school. Here’s a glance at some important pragmatic adulting skills.

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Issues

October 29, 2020 Editor’s note: This is part two of a two-part series on the practicalities of navigating the adult world. Part one appeared in our Sep. 25 issue.

Navigating the healthcare system

Something as simple as making a doctor’s appointment can appear daunting to a recent graduate who’s always had his parents as a crutch to lean on. Internal medicine doctor Prabha Mohan, mother of senior Rishi Mohan, had some advice.

“Everyone should have a primary care doctor, even young people,” Mohan said. “Look for a doctor that has appointments available throughout the day for acute patients [patients who are suddenly sick]. It’s also helpful if they have longer hours, such as over the weekend, in case you need urgent medical attention.”

Young adults’ first step is to choose between two brands of doctors: family practice doctors and internal medicine doctors. Family practice doctors care for minor illnesses and take patients all the way from toddlers to the elderly. Internal medicine doctors see only adults, but are more specialized in the kinds of sicknesses they can handle.

“Your primary care doctor is the director of your healthcare,” Mohan said. “If you need more help than they can provide, they will direct you to a specialist. Never try to find specialists on your own—your doctor will always have the best advice.”

Mohan also emphasized the importance of having a health insurance plan. Healthcare has become very expensive in the U.S., so one needs to be prepared for a possible injury or illness that could take a lot of money to mend.

“Under the Affordable Care Act, a young adult can stay under their parents’ health insurance until they turn 26,” Mohan said. “Another great option is to look into your college or your job’s options. A lot of times they offer plans at a reasonable price with good coverage.”

Finally, young people should always try to be proactive about their health by scheduling annual checkups and remembering their flu shots.

“Make sure to have healthcare basics around the apartment or dormitory,” Mohan said. “Overthe-counter medications like Tylenol, Ibuprofen and Aleve will inevitably come in handy, first-aid supplies like bandages and Neosporin are useful, and every single young adult should have a thermometer.”

Living comfortably and with company

While many colleges require that students live on campus their freshman year, the following years can offer many more opportunities in terms of living conditions. Cameron Clark ‘16 has been out of college for a few months now, after he and his classmates at Amherst College were sent home thanks to COVID-19.

“I’m so thankful for having some college friends here,” Clark said. “Having company keeps me sane for sure. Luckily, some of them were working the same job that I was back in Chicago, so we moved in together.”

While there are limited options as a college student with a short budget, living in an apartment is generally cheaper than staying in the dorm. Living off-campus gives greater privacy and independence, but also comes with the responsibilities of being an adult. Clark emphasized how renting an apartment with friends makes this transition significantly easier.

“It’s really nice to be able to go through adjusting to the real world with your friends doing it by your side at the same time,” Clark said. “Getting to learn and grow with your friends is really cool.”

Another major benefit of adding friends into

PICK AND CHOOSE As Marksmen leave the community and head out on their own, they are faced with practical challenges, such as housing, grocery shopping, networking, and self-care.

the equation is that rent becomes drastically less expensive when split between students.

“I basically live in an apartment,” Clark said. “It’s a townhome with a couple units that my friends and I split the costs for. Part of my decision to move in with them was cost: it’s cheaper to live with roommates for sure. You can also get a bigger place, with a better rate per person.”

Moving into a house is generally not something college students choose to do, but it can be accomplished if a large enough group of students decide to pool their money together. Clark attributes much of his practical learning to his parents and teachers.

“St. Mark’s has a very special faculty and staff,” Clark said. “There were definitely instances that teachers went the extra mile to teach us stuff that would be useful in the future, and I’m super thankful for that.”

Keeping in touch

The alumni network has become incredibly expansive thanks to the efforts of the alumni division. Director of Alumni Relations Alex Eshelbrenner ‘04 sees great value in the ability to connect with Marksmen of all ages in all professions.

“I think the brotherhood piece of the Marksman connection doesn’t change, it just becomes more expansive,” Eshelbrenner said. “You realize that the guys in your class are not the only people that you have this bond with, and it’s incredible to see how many guys are willing to pay it forward.”

Eshelbrenner says it can be valuable to maintain relationships from both high school and college as one moves into the real world. In a new city, everything can seem daunting and unfamiliar, so having connections with people that share the high school experience makes the tough process of adaptation much easier.

Eshelbrenner recalls a recent Alumni Board meeting in which secretary Christopher Broom ‘87 shared a story about his effort to help a younger Marksman.

“Cole Linburg [‘03] was a private pilot for years and years who’d always wanted to fly commercial,” Eshelbrenner said. “Christopher works for American Airlines, and was able to work with Cole over a several month period, get him through the right channels, and help him in receiving his pilot’s wings through American just a couple of days ago.”

Broom emphasized the sense of pride he felt in being able to make the connection for someone he feels very close with, although he may not have known them personally for a very long time.

In an effort to make these connections easier, the alumni department has launched a brand new platform for alumni engagement: Marksmen Connect.

“We’re super proud of the new website,” Eshelbrenner said. “It has an improved directory that is searchable by class year, college, industry, and even location. So, if you were thinking about moving to California and working in real estate, you could filter the search results and see all of the alumni in each California city in your field. These connections would be invaluable for one’s career.”

The new platform can be found at www.marksmenconnect.com.

Taking care of yourself

As kids move away from home, self-care adds another layer to the complexities necessitated by adulthood and can become overwhelming in the face of the many requirements of independent living.

For Beth and Stephen Fitzpatrick, parents of junior William Fitzpatrick, Villanova sophomore Sara Fitzpatrick, and TCU graduate Megan Fitzpatrick, self-care begins with being organized.

“[Organization] can really calm your mind,” Beth said. “Also, taking one thing at a time. When you think about things too much, it can overload you with stress: in college, for example, when you’re trying to get through midterms, or if you’re older and you’re trying to find that job.”

Stephen remembers Megan’s experience with stress in college and her mindset in a tough endof-term.

“Megan just graduated from TCU,” Stephen said. “She had to do that during COVID-19. It was really about patience, and not giving up. Persistence is a good word for that. Be persistent, follow up with interviews, because it is a really tough time right now.”

To clear your mind, Beth recommends continual exercise.

“I think being physically fit and active is important, whether it’s just taking a walk around the block every day or doing something more intense,” Beth said. “Especially after everything that’s happened in the last six months or so, getting outside and moving around is even more important.”

Beth and Stephen believe, however, that independent living and adulthood are not easy for young men and women to get the best of, and while they may encounter stress, the best thing to do is keep calm and move forward.

“It’s not going to happen on day one,” Stephen said. “Keep plugging along.”

STORY Austin Williams, Toby Barrett PHOTO Evan McGowan

Starting on your own Here are some areas to prioritize as you begin living by yourself.

Readily available and convenient primary care. After you establish where you are living, locate a doctor and make room in your schedule for regular medical appointments. Affordable and comfortable housing. Choose a safe, congenial space that is close to your place of work, and consider moving in with friends.