Do We Love Ourselves Enough?

One of the things I love about the Bahamas and Eleuthera, in particular, is our friendly, welcoming nature. Our people are generally courteous and kind, and I have yet to experience the same warmth we show strangers in other countries I’ve visited. Over the years, however, I have noticed the trend slipping. Our standards are dropping, and we are not as friendly, caring, or mannerly as we used to be. That’s not the case with everyone, but it is a growing trend. In this new year, it would be nice to see kindness and consideration for others pushed to the fore of our lives—kindness to ourselves, our families, those we claim to love, our neighbors, and strangers. Perhaps a good measuring tool on the kindness spectrum is simply treating others as you wish to be treated. For some, this may be something to master late in life, but it is better late than never. Hopefully, we are teaching our children how to be kind, considerate, and courteous to others, as it should start from an early age.

I had reason to reflect on a story about an older man in another country who sat on a street corner selling his wares. He had not made a sale all day when an affluent lady pulled up in an expensive car to buy his products. Instead of allowing him to sell his meager products with dignity, she negotiated well below his asking prices. Moments later, at a plush restaurant, she bragged how she had gotten her products for little to nothing. Before leaving, she left a sizeable tip for her server. The tip was more than what the poor old man asked for his products. I don’t know if the story was real or contrived, but it was not too far from what I witnessed on our island this past summer.

An old gent I bought fruit from occasionally was selling my husband’s favorite fruit, so I pulled over to surprise him with a few. While selecting what I wanted to buy, a rental car with several tourists pulled over, and out came a stern-looking tourist wearing her negotiating hat. She claimed to have spotted the pineapples and said she would be leaving the island the following day. The lady picked a choice pineapple, inquired about the price, and negotiated with the vendor below his wholesale cost. I knew the cost as I had sought to purchase a case from a farmer in the area. The old man’s price was high, but so was the wholesale cost.

Nevertheless, instead of leaving the fruit there for someone willing to support his business, she mercilessly prodded until she managed to trim the price to $7.00, then handed him a $5.00 note telling him to take it or leave it. Sadly he took it. As much as I wanted to intervene, I did not. It seemed to be a pattern where some vendors were mesmerized by foreigners as though their business held more value than the locals. Despite this unfortunate thought pattern, I wondered how the lady would have felt had the shoe been on her foot. Was it worth taking the food from this man of modest means’ table to feel like she won a trophy?

Another disturbing trend is how some local salespeople treat their own; I assume they are employees, as employers should know the value of any customer taking the time to enter their establishment. Locals are sometimes greeted with grunts and groans on a good day and other days, complete silence or a blank stare as though your presence is a bother rather than something to secure their wage at the end of the week. On several occasions, I’ve walked in with other locals who looked like visitors and spoke with a non-Bahamian accent. Seeing how they were received with overwhelming smiles and kindness was amusing, while I, on the other hand, was treated as though I was invisible. Again this is not all stores, but it has been the case in far too many. It’s as though the foreigner was a vitamin B shot in the arm. I wonder how our businesses would survive if we had another lockdown and had only locals to rely on for sustenance.

Sadly, those business owners will see a rapid decline in their businesses without knowing why their local customers have stopped patronizing their stores. Unfortunately, the problem is not just in Eleuthera. Several months ago, I was asked by a merchant in Nassau to contact his buyer about selling our books in their stores. When I did, the buyer was abrupt and dismissive when she determined I was local. I knew exactly what the problem was because I had the misfortune of experiencing this same behavior in another store, only to find the buyer preferred foreign and placed my items in a storeroom where they would never see the light of day. The goods were placed on the showroom floor when the owner realized what had happened. Much to the buyers’ surprise, they sold within days. Amusingly, the buyer then called in a friendly tone requesting more of my products. With that experience under my belt, I realized that the buyer I contacted a few months ago also had a problem dealing with locals. I remedied that with another telephone call by putting on my long-buried British accent, only to be received with the most bubbly personality that promised the world.

Many hotels, restaurants, and activities in the capital shunned locals coming to their properties before the pandemic. However, things are beginning to change as billboards and other advertisements surface, imploring Bahamians to stay, dine or enjoy their traditionally tourist-centered facilities. Our national slogan of being Better in The Bahamas is something we should aspire to as consumers are exercising their options to travel abroad, shop online, and, in some instances, relocate to where they believe are greener pastures. If this trend continues, where will it leave our local economy?

The lack of courtesy, however, is not just in the stores. There was a time we smiled or greeted people when we entered a bank or any other establishment. Today, it seems like we can walk within a bout the a uthor :

Teri M. Bethel is a publisher and author of relationship enrichment books, Bahamian-inspired romance, and adventure novels for children that share our island’s history and culture. Her books are available where good books are sold in Eleuthera, New Providence, and Amazon.com. Teri and her husband have two adult sons. Website: www.inspirepublishing.com inches of one another, stand in a line of twenty persons and not utter a good morning or good afternoon, yet belch profanity as though it was the preferred language of the day. This unfortunate habit is being passed down to the younger generation who know little to nothing about pleasantries and honoring their elders. Ma’am and sir have been replaced with first names, which in days past could get your ear pulled or worse. Defiant children garner smiles rather than correction from their parents. Kids brush by adults without a simple good morning or opening the door for them or a lady. Please and thank you have almost become an unknown foreign language, and looking someone in the eyes when speaking to them seems to be a thing of the past.

We can begin with some introspection. While foreigners or tourists deserve our kindness, appreciation, and respect, we must

• Truly love ourselves and each other • Value all customers

• Seek training for our staff and ourselves to ensure customer service is genuine

• Ensure customers receive value for their time and money

• Train our children to honor their elders and treat them with respect and

• Lead by example and not just by what we say.

In many instances, we have lost our way, but if we trace our steps to the last known position before our decline, we can easily make a u-turn to re-establish habits that will build a stronger community for all. After all, our foundations are solid enough to facilitate our growth and development as a nation as we celebrate this and many happy and prosperous New Years to come.