VOLUME XLIV ISSUE 22 MARCH 7, 2014
Robot ! Design 2014 Actuated Top Prong:
A pneumatic cylinder actuates top prong of the claw system to release the game ball while shooting, while holding it firmly when on the move.
Vector Wheels:
These side wheels spin the game ball (a two foot diameter exercise ball) into the claw as long as contact is made.
Linear Puncher:
Using springs, a ratcheting wrench, a modified transmission, and steel cable, the linear puncher can hit a game ball 20 feet.
Tube Aluminum Assembly:
Many parts, including the entire claw structure, were fabricated from custom designed tube aluminum pieces, which were created via the use of a CNC machine.
Laser Cut Brackets:
The tube pieces are held together through a series of laser cut brackets, which are made from 1/8” aluminum. The tube aluminum is riveted to the brackets for an extreme hold that can survive the rigors of gameplay.
THE
8 Wheel Belt Drive:
An eight wheel drive system provides stability, a low center of gravity, and an impressive ability to turn with grace and ease. Belts run all four wheels on each side from a single output on the gearboxes.
High Traction Wheels:
4” diameter high traction wheels placed in the center of the drive system allow for maximum grip on the carpeted surface of the playing field.
2 Speed Transmission:
Pneumatic cylinders can shift the gears on the drive system for a variable max speed of either 7 fps or 15 fps.
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Omni Wheels:
4” diameter Omni Wheels (not shown) placed in the outer region of the drive system allow for easy turning.
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! THE RECORD Michael Blogs: Dear My Teachers VOLUME XLIV ISSUE 22 MARCH 7, 2014 Editor In Chief Andrew Cammon ‘14 Layout Editor Lucas McGartland ‘14 Content Editors Michael Herman ‘14 William O’Brien ‘14 Eric Stange ‘14 Faculty Moderator Ms. Layton
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Contact theprioryrecord@gmail.com 314.434.3690 ext. 221
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The Record Disclaimer
The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by students/staff members. Its purpose is to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members of the Priory community, including students, faculty, and alumni. The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit. Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.
By Michael Herman ‘14 Content Editor
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Dear All Priory Teachers, As many of you have probably figured out by our failing grades, the senior class has been giving minimal effort but we have decided that even this is just too much effort. This letter will act as the final act of trying that any of us will do for the rest of the year no exceptions. I thought that this would be good to do because I know that teachers have been talking about how hard I have been trying behind my back. I literally did homework the other day at home just to fill you in. Ok it was in the lounge before school. I lied again I did it in Mr. Heerlein’s class when he had assigned it two days before and it was done at the end of class. I understand that you
guys deal with this every year but our senior class wanted to distinguish ourselves by be the first ones to start our cease-fire on homework and tests as early as March. Also we want you to take us as men of our words so I will be enforcing this and if I see any member of my class doing work I will slap their work and yell “nerd” at the top of my lungs. As this third term does not matter I would also like to suggest that instead of attempting to do work in class each teacher take a certain movie on the list that I will provide and show it during class. This list is astronomically short but it is just a jumping off point. If any teacher would like to run any more movies by me I would have no problem with that. As a general rule you guys are not allowed to ask us to write papers on the movies
that we will be watching.
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Bourne Trilogy The Departed Actually anything with Matt Damon in it is fine Shawshank Redemption (anything Morgan Freeman unless it is educational) First 2 Seasons of Gossip Girl (if you do not trust me on this one talk to me and I’ll convince you) Goodfellas and anything Martin Scorsese Anything Kevin Spacey including House of Cards O Brother Where Art Thou? The Sting but not The Sting II The Big Lobowski Inglorious Basterds The Dark Knight American Psycho
Love, Michael
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‘Fratty Bird’ Frat Enough? By George Ahlering ‘16 Staff Writer
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It has long been said that iPhone games and video games in general just haven’t been up to par with TFM standards. Let me be the first to announce to you that a monumental, landmark event in Frat History has been made. Recently, some TFTC college student decided to rip off the well-established, former iPhone app ‘Flappy Bird’ by making essentially the exact same game, with a new name: ‘Fratty Bird’. This news broke just when Priory frat levels needed it most. Not trying to point any fingers, but as of late Priory student have been slacking on their fratistic lifestyles and it is blatant to everyone. Quite frankly we look like a
bunch of Chaminade kids, and it’s not cool. This being said, there is room for improvement and still time to get your act together. I strongly urge every one of you to download the Fratty Bird game in the app store, you won’t regret it. And for those of you hipsters out there… I guess its kinda cooler to have a new Flappy Bird rather than the old, mainstream one. That basically covers everything that was needed to be said, thanks for listening. (Editor: Please don’t put this in the “Tech Page” because that’s so not frat.) (George: We had a very hard time discerning whether this article was about technology gains in the avian world, but as per your request, we have not placed it in the ‘Tech Page’.)
Most Valuable Companies:
Bonjour!
Meet Clément. He’s French.His Dad is the Headmaster at Lycée Sainte Marie de Beaucamps near Lille, France. Students from Sainte Marie visited Priory in October and they’ll be back again next year. Clément is 17 and so he is a bit older than he appears in this particular photograph.*
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Sadly, though, Clément needs help. Won’t you help him?
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*Actually this is just a stock photo of a stereotypical Frenchman from Google Images.
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Clement will be visiting Priory from the beginning of April until the first part of June.If you would like to host him for a week or two during that time frame, you would make a long list of people on both sides of the Atlantic very happy. Please contact Mr. O’Connell if you’d like to volunteer to save Clement from sleeping under bridges here in America. 434-3690, ext. 122
OP IN I ON
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Crisis! in Ukraine, Foreign Policy By Eric Stange ‘14 Content Editor
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The “crisis,” as it is called, in Ukraine has grabbed headlines worldwide. While ignorance could be claimed for the first few weeks of its existence, this is something that is now unavoidable. Both the escalation and the continuation of the crisis have catapulted this to the most significant story in several years. The fact of the matter is that ‘crisis’ does not adequately describe the situation. It has been referred to many things: “The start of World War 3,” “worst travesty in decades,” “boneheaded,” “brilliant,” “daring,” and finally, “catastrophic.” It really depends where your loyalties, politics, and feelings lie. To offer a brief summary, it seems that Russia has either had a hand in Ukraine’s politics, or was simply waiting for a moment to step in and mediate. This is not debatable. Furthermore, there seems to have been some popular disagreement with President-elect Yanukovych. A nationalist movement ousted the pro-Russia leader. The impeachment process from Ukrainian Parliament included mass hysteria in Kiev, the capital. This included military involvement, which resulted in several deaths. The death total has now reached about 75, which has prompted serious efforts from European Union to end the conflict. Whether the Yanukovych regime is responsible for this or not is also not debatable. This is really where it gets interesting. After the ousted leader Yanukovych called on Russia for support, Putin has apparently responded with multiple divisions of various military units invading Crimea. Interestingly enough, the European Union is
the main point of contention between the two parties. Yanukovych backers are in line w i t h P u t i n ’s w i s h e s t h a t Ukraine remain out of the E.U along with Russia, as opposed to the nationalists who wish to further their country’s abilities and join the E.U. Since then, both the United States and the Russia have offered statements regarding the conflict. In response to no one in particular, Russian president Vladimir has said their actions have been in response to “an unconstitutional coup.” Hmm. However, to many people be-
in the agenda. And for now, they seem safe in whatever they do. There is no threat from the White House, given the recent hack jobs of foreign policy in various areas of the Middle East, most notably Syria. Our President has said there will be “costs” with Russian military involvement in the state of Ukraine. No kidding, Mr. President. We would love to prevent more carnage. But the fact is, all the United States can offer is a billion dollars in relief for the Ukrainian people. A military invasion or aid of
lieve his actions to be completely unprovoked and have voiced their outcry against an unnecessary occupation. World leaders have followed this sentiment with similar messages of disapproval. Despite all of this opposition, Putin and Russia are in the driver’s seat. Any placement of anti-russo forces in the area would be casus belli in the eyes of the Kremlin. The Russian government consists of a bunch of kleptomaniacs. Government party thugs. Remnants of the USSR, now seemingly unearthed from the underground. Now this does not mean that Russians are bad people. But, for all intensive purposes, most policies and sentiments of the Soviet Union have remained
any kind would yield disastrous effects. No head of state takes the Presidency as serious as it was at other points. The foreign policy track record for the Obama administration has been a horrendous train wreck. A train wreck. That is a fact. Putin is totally able to call our bluff on taking action because American foreign policy has been hapless as of late. Not only can he do this, but he can point to other instances where the United States has answered the call of pleas from nations to help protect them from revolts. Case in point: Israel. The one bartering chip the United States has is that we were not criminals, and that the state of Israel was an integral part of the post World War II rebuilding. In addition,
Apple
the elected leadership of Israel needed the protection, not the Palestinians. While Israel and the Middle East are completely out of our sphere of influence, the United Nation’s involvement as a world power was necessary to ensure their existence as a part of the post World War II power struggle. To go as far to say that this situation will escalate into World War 3 is rather extreme, but then again this event would correlate with other global conflict sparking events. The one thing that remains a mystery to all is how the United States will handle it. Will the back seat be taken and let Russia remove all doubt about it being a laughing stock of a world power? Or could we have another Syria, Iraq, or even a Cold War Afghanistan on our hands? Some of our own alumni are rather worried, not just positive for the future. “Any Priory graduate is smarter than Barack Obama,” said an older alumnus definitively. This situation in Ukraine really is a pressing issue, but it is obvious that it will only be to us what our government makes of it. Even so, the Ukrainian people will be taking the brunt of this. Often mentioned but not really investigated, it seems that the interest held about these people is how many have died or what side they are on. No matter what those figures or facts are, it is important to realize that many of them are going through a horrendous time: they have lost loved ones, been separated, relatives abroad are worried sick, etc. Not only should the Ukrainian people be prayed for, but also that our world leaders do show competency in whatever summit they may hold. There is simply too much on the line for an oversight or miscalculation of one another.
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PUZZLE S
! Easy, Medium, and Hard Sudokus:
Crossword Puzzle ACROSS 1. Sail supports 6. Give as an example 10. As well 14. Permit 15. Air force heroes 16. Back 17. Cunning 18. Orange pekoe 19. Hairless 20. Unappeasable 22. Small island 23. Docile 24. Located beneath 26. Humdinger 30. Blemish 31. Hearing organ 32. Not closed 33. Therefore 35. Bog hemp 39. Long narrow flat-bottomed boat 41. Reposing
43. Go in 44. Found on a finger 46. Killer whale 47. Crimson 49. Japanese apricot 50. Absorb written material 51. Skin pattern 54. Annul 56. Dwarf buffalo 57. Nourishment 63. An eccentric idea 64. Largest continent 65. A large ladle 66. Feudal worker 67. Lady's escort 68. Overact 69. Clairvoyant 70. Border 71. Anxious
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DOWN 1. Wise men 2. Astringent
3. Faux pas 4. Fee 5. Perspiration 6. Type of sailboat 7. One sank the Titanic 8. Blue-green 9. Ancient ascetic 10. A type of judge 11. Tether 12. French for “Room" 13. Law and _____ 21. Dromedary 25. Hearing organs 26. Balcony section 27. Atop 28. Gave temporarily 29. Mortician 34. Determine one's position 36. Bog 37. Ancient Peruvian 38. Quaint outburst
40. Chocolate cookie 42. Leave out 45. Funny 48. A measured portion of medicine 51. Seizes 52. Licoricelike flavor 53. 1000 kilograms 55. Beginning 58. Utilized 59. Highest point 60. Midday 61. Camp beds 62. Type of sword
Riddle There is a small town in the midwest with exactly 2 barbershops, one on each side of town. The barbershop on the west side of town is pristine. Its floors are spotless, the windows are always perfectly clear, and the air always smells fresh. The barber has a friendly smile, shined shoes, a well-groomed head of hair, and a fancy shirt. The barbershop on the east side of town is a mess. Its floors and windows are dirty, and the air smells of garbage. The barber always has a grimace on his face. His skin is oily, his hair is short and ragged, and he has food on his clothes all the time. A man travelling through the town realizes he needs a haircut. Knowing the stories of the two barbers, the man decides to go to the dirty barbershop on the east side of town. Why does he do this?
Exxon Mobile
B OOKS & S P O R T S ! The Desert Spear
March MLB Madness By Jarret Lowell ‘14 Contributor
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By Rohith Perla ‘15 Staff Writer
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Spoilers! (Only read this if you have read the Warded Man) In The Warded Man, the main character Arlen was in the desert, trying to be in a place where he belongs. In the desert is a place called Fort Krasia where the men do not cower behind their wards. Instead, they head out into the night and fight the demons where they are. Disgusted by the cowardice his people in the green lands showed in regards to the demons, Arlen fights with the Krasians, and rises further and further in their society, and even became friends with the bravest warrior of their fort, Jardir. However, when Arlen brought back a warded weapon, Jardir took it from him and left him out in the sand to die. Eventually, Arlen made it back to the greenlands, except now, he has become cold and withdrawn from the world, and has a deep hatred for Jardir. However, was Jardir really to blame, or were some strings being pulled behind the scenes? This is his story. In Fort Krasia, there are only two professions that gain respect in their society: the warriors, and the priests. In order to raise future undertakers of these
professions, boys are taken and put into barracks, and undergo harsh training, in order to become warriors. Jardir is one of those boys, and he rises quickly through the ranks of the trainees, and eventually becomes a commander. However, a priestess gives Jardir a fortune telling, he could potentially be the one that saves the land from the demons. In order to guide him towards his fate, she irreplaceably weaves her way into his life, and he eventually becomes the “Deliverer”. That was in the past, in that world, but in the present time, Jardir is starting to conquer the green lands, in an effort to unify the land against the demons. Arlen, also known as the Warded Man, tries to find himself, and get the northern hamlets to rise up against the demons. And finally, in the core of that world, the demons are starting to sense an uprising, so they send to the surface one of the most deadly types of demons – the mind demon, which through the power of its mind, can subjugate an entire nation. Is this the beginning of the end? What will become of the Greenlanders and the Krasians? Pick up this book to find out, about the past and the present day of that world.
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It’s that time of year again. You may be thinking of college hoops when I say this, but March is also a time to think about baseball again. As you diligently prepare your NCAA brackets, hoping to become billionaires like Warren Buffett, don’t let your fantasy baseball leagues fall by the wayside and miss your opportunities for marquee players. The most important aspect of a successful fantasy baseball team is the draft, and it should not be taken lightly. I would like to share my thoughts about my favorite five players in the 2014 draft. The following players may not be drafted in the first round like Detroit’s Miguel Cabrera or the Angels’ Mike Trout, but I guarantee that they will fill valuable roles on any fantasy team. Paul Goldschmidt He was definitely the best player on my own fantasy team last year. Although he did not win an MVP, he led the National League in RBI’s and clubbed 36 homers. He even sported 15 stolen bases, a substantial number for a power hitter. Goldschmidt is the complete baseball player, and I expect him to live up to or surpass last season’s offensive totals in the 2014 campaign in Arizona. Carlos Gonzalez - The Rockies outfielder may have been the National League’s MVP if he had not been hurt for a majority of the latter half of the 2013 season. Despite this setback, Gonzalez proved to be one of the best offensive players in the game by maintaining a .300+ batting average and hitting 26 home runs. If he can keep himself off the disabled
list, I project 2014 statistics of 35+ homers, 100+ RBI’s, and 30+ stolen bags. Freddie Freeman - This young 24 year-old first baseman of the Atlanta Braves is quietly turning into one of the better hitters in the National League with a .319 average last season. In 2013, he matched his career high of 23 home runs and set a career high by driving in 109 runs. His hitting stats improve every season, and I would not be surprised if he led one of the triple crown hitting categories (home runs, RBI’s, and batting average) in the 2014 season. Billy Hamilton - This 25 year-old Cincinnati Reds outfielder played only 13 games last season after being called up from the minor leagues, but he quickly proved that he was most capable of competing at the Major League level. And it wasn’t because of his bat. Hamilton is arguably the fastest man in the MLB, and he averaged one stolen bag a game in the 2013 season. I project Billy Hamilton to lead the National League in stolen bases this season, as long as he can get on base. He would be a stronghold for any team in the stolen bases category. Kenley Jansen - The Dodger closer had an outstanding 2013 campaign, and he did not even start the season as the official closer. Yet, he finished with 28 saves and 111 strikeouts. I would not want to miss Kenley Jansen this year. He will come back to the mound in 2014 as the established closer for the Dodgers, and I predict that he will surpass his totals from last season and maintain his 1.88 ERA and 0.86 whip.
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OP IN I ON
! The Finest Classes I Have Ever Taken At Priory ! By John Paul Austin ‘14
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Priory is recognized as an academic beacon among citizens of St. Louis, and undoubtedly offers some of, if not the, finest classes in the city. I have set out to identify and honor those classes which stuck out, nay, resonated, in my Priory years. I will never forget all of the memories beheld in Priory’s classrooms, and I could not have imagined a stronger scholastic upbringing. Priory’s pristine reputation for offering top notch courses makes my task none the easier, but as my days of being a Rebel are rapidly coming to an end, I find myself reminiscing on some of the greatest. Before I begin my list, I urge my dear readers to not dwell over which classes did not make “the list.” Unfortunately it is true, I am biased, and, alas, I am not omnipresent around the school to take every class. There are many fine classes that others would argue top my picks, but having not taken them I cannot properly judge them, hence the article name The Finest Classes I Have Taken, and not Priory’s Finest Classes. Neither is this list representative of my favorite people at Priory, an impossible thing to rank in any particular order. This list simply acknowledges those classes clearly mastered by their respective professors, and which made the greatest impact when I harken back to Forms I-VI. To give you a quick idea of how elite this list is, I have taken 18 trimesters in English, 18 in Mathematics, 18 in History, 18 in Theology, 16 in Science, 15 in the Fine Arts, 15 in Modern Languages, 12 in Latin, around 140 total classes. English: The greatest English class that I have taken at
Priory is Fr. Augustine’s 7th grade English course. As a 13 year old boy, there is nothing more interesting to read about than knights in shining armor fighting dragons and saving princesses from monsters. Fr. Augustine did a spectacular job of engaging easily-distracted students and supporting creative endeavors. Furthermore, Augustine introduced me to classic writers like Dante. Honorable Mention: Junior Year, Fr. Gregory / Senior Year, Women in Literature with Ms. Layton. Mathematics: The all time greatest Mathematics class at Priory is hand’s down Junior year Trigonometry/Precalculus with Mrs. Hall. Mrs. Hall would also be on my favorite teacher list. She balances strictness in the classroom with a deep understanding of the material and an unequaled ability to convey that understanding to many a dismayed student. Mrs. Hall can be a drill sergeant when she wants to be, but at the end of the day she cares for each and every one of her students, and strives to allow them to succeed. Honorable Mention: Freshman Geometry with Mrs. Reichle / Senior Calculus with Dr. Kalhorn. History: There are too many good History teachers to count at Priory. Each has his own strengths in the classroom, however, Dr. Ritchie’s art history class was unique and great. Not only did Dr. Ritchie impart a great love and appreciation of art, he earned as much love, respect, and admiration from his students as any teacher in Priory history has. Between each piece of art Doc would tell us an intriguing story from his vast travels. His students felt as if they were in Egypt looking at the pyramids, or swinging a machete through the Congo. While most Priory students are
consumed with sports, schoolwork, and video games, Doc created in our hearts a love for the arts. Honorable Mention: European History with Mr. Schake / Economics with Mr. Griesbauer. Theology: Priory has the strongest Theology department in the city. With so many excellent teachers to choose from, this department was particularly difficult to survey. My favorite Theology class harkens back to 7th grade once again with Fr. Francis. He imparts an appreciation and deep understanding of the subject matter, and through joviality and wittiness acquires the love and respect of his students. To this day, all of us who had Fr. Francis in 7th grade never shy away from giving him a quick hug in the hallway. He was so good at teaching that he nearly converted me! Honorable mention: Fr. Dominic Sophomore class / Br. Dunstan Senior Latin Lives class. Science: Few classes have been taught as well as Physics with Mr. Orlando, who is particularly to be commended considering that was his first class taught as a Priory teacher. Not only is Mr. Orlando personable, witty, and approachable, but he is also adroit in making difficult material easy to understand. The good news is, while adept beyond his years, Mr. Orlando is a young teacher and is likely here to stay for a long time. Honorable mention: Oberle 8th grade Anatomy / Senior Environmental Science with Mr. Holtmeyer and Mr. Wenger. Fine Arts: Perhaps no class is as beloved as a Mr. Marting’s class. There are not enough words to describe Mr. Marting’s tender heart and passion for music. He coneys this passion to each and every student that walks through his door. Mr. Marting has raised the
PetroChina
Priory music program from ground zero, and has inspired the creative side in many students throughout the year. Mr. Marting is both personable and highly intelligent, and is sure to put a smile on any student’s face. I am proud to call him an advisor. Honorable mention: Medeval arts with Mr. Niemann / Speech with Mrs. Raley. Modern languages: Mandarin is one of the most difficult, and yet one of the fondest of my classes at Priory. Yu Lao Shi as she is called by her students, is a master in Chinese language and culture. She teaches an appreciation of Eastern history and art, while teaching a very difficult but rewarding course. Full of laughter and happiness, Dr. Yu balances hard work with a fun learning environment and multiple cultural field trips. Honorable mention: 7th grade Spanish with Ms. Cazabonne / 8th Grade Spanish with Mr. Barrett Latin: None of Priory’s latin classes are as memorable as Freshman year Latin III with Br. Dunstan. Br. Dunstan is one of the kindest people I have met in my entire life. He is jovial, personable, and cares for every student whether he has you in class or not. Br. Dunstan made a hard class very fun, and helped even the most challenged students (such as Andrew Cammon and myself!) learn and have fun simultaneously. Never raising his voice or getting angry, Br. Dunstan is the closest thing to a living Saint that I have ever met, and is well deserving of his spot on this list. His intelligence and kind heart have earned him the respect and admiration of all who are lucky enough to have had him. Honorable mention: Sophomore Latin with Caroll / 7th grade Latin with Doc Ritchie.
M USIC & SPOR TS
7
American Authors, Man Man Review
Coldplay Picks
By Austin Krueger ’14 aka the K$ Writer
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This week, I will continue my review of new albums. The up and coming New York indie group American Authors just released their debut album Oh, What A Life on Monday. The album features hits like “Best Day Of My Life” and “Believer,” as well as some new material. With Oh, What A Life, American Authors has expanded their range of folksy rock, making good use of the banjo,
while still maintaining their upbeat, laid-back attitude. Overall, I’d say that this is a great album, and I expect big things from this young band for years to come. They will be showcasing their new album while supporting OneRepublic on their “Native Summer” tour later this year. I give it 4/5 stars. Top Tracks: “Best Day Of My Life,” “Luck,” “Trouble,” “Think About It.” Next up for this week is an experimental rock band from Philadelphia called Man Man.
My favorite song by this kooky group is “Head On (Hold On To Your Heart)” off of their fifth studio album On Oni Pond. I will admit that Man Man is an acquired taste, and many of you may not appreciate what they are doing musically just because it is so unlike anything else. Simply put, the band is weird, but it is the good kind of weird that keeps the music industry diverse. That is all for this week. As always, keep listening to music!
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This weekend boasts a number of exciting top-tier European football matches, many of which will take place in Italy. Action from leagues such as the Barclays, the Serie A, and more highlight the matchups this weekend. Chelsea vs. Tottenham Hotspur This Saturday, two of England’s top teams will take the pitch at Stamford Bridge. Tottenham Hotspur has the top away record in the BPL, but Chelsea has never lost at home under Mourinho. Although Tottenham has a strong away record, Chelsea’s home record is untouchable. A win for the Spurs is more or less completely out of the question. The question, then, is whether or not Chelsea will win or draw. Eden Hazard’s red-hot form should ease Chelsea to victory, but Tottenham will surely put up a good fight. I predict this match to end 3-1, a win for Chelsea. Arsenal vs. Everton
The Gunners will be looking to end a poor run of results with this F.A. Cup clash against Everton. Everton also are coming off a somewhat rocky string of results. They have won two of their last five matches, scoring a mere three goals, while conceding seven. Arsenal could see the return of Aaron Ramsey, who has undoubtedly been their best player this season despite being injured since December. His presence could make or break this game for the Gunners. Everton’s struggling offense will have to pull themselves out of their current slump if they expect a result. I predict a narrow 2-1 victory for Arsenal. Bayern Munich vs. Wolfsburg Wolfsburg come off a brutal 6-2 defeat at the hands of Hoffenheim for this match. Bayern Munich has not lost a single game in the Bundesliga this season, drawing only two matches and winning the rest. Obviously Wolfsburg’s chances at victory are very slim, but a draw would suit them just fine. The two goals versus Hoffenheim show that Wolfsburg’s
2 Fix You (Live) Coldplay
3 Yellow Coldplay
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This Weekend in European Football By Alex Hill ’15 & Michael Ricci ‘15 Staff Writers
The Scientist Coldplay
offense isn’t totally incapable of producing goals. Bayern hammered Schalke, a top team in Germany, 6-1 last weekend. This is obviously a good cause for concern at Wolfsburg. I predict a 3-0 win for Bayern Munich. Fenerbahçe vs. Trabzonspor Interestingly enough, this is the first Türklig match we have ever covered in our series of articles. Fenerbahçe, who currently sit atop the table, take on an unusually weak Trabzonspor side this Sunday. Fenerbahçe possesses a star-studded lineup, boasting players such as Raul Meireles, Moussa Sow, Emmanuel Emenike, Bruno Alves, and more. No one on the Trabzonspor squad is playing as well as they should be this season, especially Florent Malouda. He has just five goals all season in league play. Without a strong attacking presence, Trabzonspor cannot pull off the result they want against their rivals. Based off of what I know and have seen of the two sides, I say that Fenerbahçe will emerge victorious, with a final score of 2-0.
Berkshire Hathaway
4
Speed Of Sound Coldplay
5
Lost+ Coldplay feat. JAY-Z
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6 Clocks Coldplay
7 Viva La Vida Coldplay
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Life In Technicolor II Coldplay
9
Hurts Like Heaven Coldplay
10 Paradise Coldplay
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E NTE R TAINME NT
How The Record Is Actually Made
Calendar
By William O’Brien ‘14 Content Editor
Friday, March 7 Lunch: Shrimp Scampi Salmon
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Have you ever sat there reading The Record and wondered how it got to you? Our five editors (myself, Andrew Cammon, Luke McGartland, Michael Herman, and sort of Eric Stange) met in the Record room around 6:00. This was when we all realized that we have none of the articles that we were expecting. So to kill time, Michael “Sugarlegs” Herman normally played some of his pump up jamz to get us all ready for the task ahead. Once this had run its course, we were all flabbergasted when Eric had nothing to show us on his phone, because normally there is around a 99.34% chance of this happening. So instead we just pounded more jamz until the first articles started trickling in. We tackled these like any professionals would: one editor edited an article while the other four kept changing the name of it on Google Drive for humour’s
sake. The new titles ranged from horribly inappropriate to totally unrepeatable. Michael decided on his article topic while talking about how little work he does in school, and Eric kept the 90’s rap flowing like nobody’s business. It was around that time, 6:45, that Cammon began writing his typical boring article. Somewhere around 7:15, half of our writers informed us that they cannot write their articles, leaving us with pages to fill. Scrambling to fill the pages, we texted just about anyone who can write at a third grade level to supply content for us. Once, in a similar situation, we almost ran an article by a certain CBC graduate who coaches wrestling. That’s how bad it gets sometimes. But by 7:30, the editors had finished their articles, and more had come in. Things were looking up, and we enjoyed a very unusual productive period for the next thirty minutes or so. Eric then restored the status quo by showing us a South Park
video that he found hilarious. Having finished their articles, Michael and Eric decided to go back to all of our edited articles and slip in some sentences that required the articles to be vetted further. All of this editing made us hungry though, and so Cammon attempted to steal food from the teacher’s lounge. But the rest of us stopped him, and gave him a spanking and a stern talking to. And though I am now wrapping up my article, there is a better than decent chance that this issue will not be completed until the wee hours of the morn. (Currently it is 2:41 am and Luke is still trying to design a a cover and cram all the articles in) We hope that the time and effort that goes into The Record helps to entertain and inform the school community, and we also challenge our writers to throw our routine out of order by actually completing their articles before Thursday night. Thank God for the puzzle page, because I don’t know what else we’d fill it with.
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Saturday, March 8 8:00AM SAT Test Date 8:00AM V Basketball - Districts Sunday, March 9 Monday, March 10 Lunch: Turkey Hot Dogs
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Tuesday, March 11 Lunch: Ribs Sesame Chicken 8:00AM Winter Sports Assembly
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Wednesday, March 12 Lunch: Roasted Chicken Burritos
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Thursday, March 13 Dress Down Day Lunch: Chicken Marsala Patty Melts
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8:30AM
Friday, March 14 Lunch: Pasta Buffalo Shrimp
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8:30AM
8:30AM
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Monday afternoon the tennis team had its first proper practice, and I am glad to say that things have been going better than expected. So far the freshman have shown a lot of promise and, while the varsity and JV lineups are still being decided, they are looking to make a positive impact on the team this season. Although we lost three seniors from last year, Daanish Jamaludin, Patrick Lindmark, and Will Moore, the freshman,
along with last year’s JV team, are looking to fill those spots in the most advantageous way possible. While some of our competitors have one or two accomplished players at the top of their team, our team is more focused on depth. We have a long list of proficient players rather than one amazing player at the top of the team. This enables us to clench team matches by securing wins on the lower half of the lineup. Depth is one of the best qualities to have in high school tennis, and it is going to give us a huge advan-
Robotics Competition
Saturday, March 15 SPRING BREAK
Tennis Update: Matches Soon By James Newell ‘14 Contributor
Robotics Competition
tage when competing during this year’s season. Our first matches against other schools begin right after spring break. We still have a lot of practicing to do before we get there, but I am confident that both Coach Bobby and Fr. Ralph will do their best to prepare us for the 2014 tennis season. Coach Bobby brings a new level of instruction and intensity to Priory’s tennis program. I’m sure that on his watch, the team’s technique and fitness will improve in leaps and bounds. I can’t wait to see what this team will accomplish.
General Electric
Robotics Competition