slouwdry
caitlin mercado slouwdry Deriving from how some paintings dry in a slow process. I’ve had several setbacks in life, which inspired my name as well.
With this alias, I create illustrations and stickers. Mostly about my slow and steady process of learning about myself and life.
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i’m sorry for my existence
inside
Table of Contents Boy or Girl or Boy or Girl.....4 It hurts..............................6 Breast and Eggs..................8 The Bell Jar........................10
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caitlin mercado
Boy or Girl & This undying hate of the gendered identity With a crotch that I want to set on fire And mirrors that I want to destroy I became myself over and over I was once a girl A girl that wore baggy jeans A girl that feared men and herself Fear and disdain, hand in hand together I was once a boy A boy that wore frilly skirts A boy that knew the taste of blood Contradictory in nature In my heart lies the different faces of sexism I swallowed these extremes These ugly colors of reality Boy or girl or blue or pink or pain or misery
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trans or not trans or trans or not trans
trans or not trans or trans or not trans
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& Boy or Girl Crotch on fire Bleed every month or not Breasts and wilted flowers Guilty of nothing but also of everything I am not a girl Free labor with a pussy I am not a boy Not who I used to be I am a woman Breast and eggs Heavy of love Death to who I was
caitlin mercado
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works
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works
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fishy fishy
it hurts
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Breast and Eggs
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“It’s happening now as we speak, inside of me. I wish I could rip out all those parts of me, the parts already rushing to give birth.” — Midoriko, Page 110
Full of Love
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The Bell Jar
“The silence drew off, baring the pebbles and shells and all the tatty wreckage of my life. Then, at the rim of my vision, it gathered itself, and in one sweeping tide, rushed me to sleep.” — Esther, Page 169
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I am, I am, I am
edge.