Susan Gross: From Transplant Triumph to Gold Medal Glory

The Weekly Sentinel September 27, 2024

By Susan Gallagher, Staff Writer

Long before the first gold medal gleamed from its ribbon around her neck, Susan Gross was already a champion. As impressive as her performance was at the 2024 Transplant Games of America in Birmingham, AL, where the petite 60-year-old York mother of two swam her way to five medals, it was her selfless donation of a kidney to her adult son, Stephen, 14 months earlier that crowned her a hero.

The long road Gross traveled leading up to the life-saving transplant forged a strength and perseverance in her that fueled her competitive spirit. But the journey through her son’s battle with kidney disease was arduous and fraught with worry.

Stephen’s health problems began early in life. When he was just three years old, he became suddenly ill, suffering kidney failure for five weeks and ending up on dialysis. Fortunately, the boy soon recovered enough to go home, and he grew into a teenager who appeared normal on the outside: a talented athlete, good student, and amiable classmate. But behind the healthy façade, his kidney disease was slowly and silently progressing.

At age 33, the disease reared its ugly head. Thirty years to the day he first fell ill, Stephen realized something was terribly wrong. At Massachusetts General Hospital, doctors determined he was on the verge of needing dialysis again, and a desperate search began for a kidney donor. "I always knew in the back of my mind we would be facing this someday,” Susan says. “I feared it and dreaded it all those years.”

She was determined to get her son off dialysis. “Dialysis,” she says, “is not what most people think. It is not just a time-involving nuisance.” Sadness shadows her face as she adds, “Stephen told me he couldn’t even describe how dark he felt after dialysis.” Already aware she and her son shared the same blood type, she moved quickly ahead with testing to find out if she was a match to donate a kidney.

Susan was indeed a match, and on May 18, 2023, at Mass General, 34-year-old Stephen received the priceless gift of his 59-year-old mother’s kidney. On the day following the procedure, after spending the night in a room agonizingly far from Stephen’s, Susan opened her eyes to the most beautiful sight she had ever seen: her son walking unaided into her room. It was a profound experience for them both.

The transplant was a terrific success. Gross says she never had a moment’s hesitation to donate her organ. “As a mother,” she says, “I would have given him both kidneys.” Beyond her motherly instincts, she had a sense of a higher presence. “I believe I was fulfilling God’s purpose” she says. “I felt a life force coming from somewhere beyond myself telling me it was my job to do this. Somehow, I knew we would be all right.”

The difference the transplant has made in her son’s life astounds Gross. She says people often describe organ donation as saving someone’s life, but it is even more than that. “You are catapulting the recipient into a whole new sphere,” she says with awe. “My son has a chance to live the life of a healthy young man. He has freedom, and he’s filled with gratitude and a sense of wholeness.”

Susan’s own ease of recovery surprised her. Just a couple of months after the surgery, she felt fine. “Stephen has gained this whole new life,” she says, “and I have lost nothing. How can this be?” When she shared her amazement with Stephen’s doctor, the physician smiled knowingly and said, “That’s why I do what I do.”

Serendipity came into play when Gross heard about the Transplant Games of America, a competition produced by the Transplant Life Foundation, a nonprofit for those in the donation and transplant world. Intrigued, she decided to compete at the following July’s games. Although she had been away from swimming since childhood, and had never officially competed, she chose it as her sport. She knew she had the drive to be a contender. “I wanted not just to swim,” she says. “I wanted to swim to win!”

The determined Gross found the perfect place to train at the Portsmouth Indoor Pool, and superb trainers in Great Bay Masters, an adult swim team. “Learning something new when you are pushing 60 is so exciting,” she says. She initially lacked endurance and an efficient stroke, but after training diligently all spring, she was ready to race.

At the Transplant Games, Gross found more than a competition; she found a place of acceptance. “Everyone can totally relate to what you and your family have been through,” she says. Originally founded in 1990 to honor the families of deceased organ donors who saved their recipient’s life, the Transplant Games began as athletic competitions for organ recipients only. Since living donors like Gross have become more commonplace, they now include living donors as competitors.

While in Birmingham, the outpouring of gratitude toward Gross and the other living donors overwhelmed her. “I couldn’t believe how many people thanked me,” she says. “I didn’t feel like I had really done that much; I was fine. I didn’t realize how significant my contribution was until I experienced the appreciation of all these strangers.”

These inspiring games, held for five days every other year, are bursting with camaraderie. Each competitor is part of a team – in Gross’s case, Team New England. Susan swam her heart out for her team, garnering three gold medals in the 50-, 100-, and 150-yard freestyle and two silver medals in the 50- and 100-yard breaststroke. “The best part for me,” she says, “is that my husband and two sons came with me to support me. That meant the world to me.” But they were not her only supporters. “Everyone was clapping and cheering during these events,” she says. “You could feel the love – it was everywhere.”

Attending these games had a powerful effect on Stephen as well. Growing up, he had no friends with chronic kidney disease or in need of blood pressure medication. He felt alone; set apart by his illness. At the Transplant Games, he found his first connection to other people who had received a kidney or other organs. “I felt isolated before,” Stephen says. “I felt so accepted there.”

Bringing the organ donor community together is only part of the Transplant Games of America’s mission. Increasing awareness of the importance of organ, cornea, bone marrow, and tissue donation is their paramount goal. Susan Gross feels like it is now her duty to help raise this awareness and change the prevailing perception of organ donation. While there is a huge effort at the state level to promote registration for deceased organ donation, there is much less initiative for living donors.

She explains that the families of deceased organ donors have lost a family member whose legacy is now living on through the life they saved. “That connection between donor families and organ recipients is important and very strong,” Gross says. “A living donor is still living their own legacy. I don’t want my son to live my legacy. I want him to live his own legacy.”

This former York Rotary Club president and still proud Rotarian deeply values being part of and serving her community. Now, she is part of another uniquely special community – the transplant community. She has come through her experience with an overwhelming desire to give back, including getting involved with the Transplant Games and their mission. Gross is enormously thankful for all the support she and her and her son received, especially from the Rotary Club, throughout their challenging journey. “Our story,” she says, “is filled with joy and gratitude.”