Big Brothers Big Sisters Makes a Match

August 26, 2022

By Susan Gallagher, Staff Writer

Steve Askin had a lucky childhood. He grew up with supportive parents, a loving family, opportunity to thrive. From a young age, he was fueled by a burning desire to help others less fortunate. This led to a stint as a volunteer firefighter and other forays into community service. High on his altruistic agenda was to mentor a young person. The Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS) organization, renowned for their work pairing adult mentors with needy children and teens, sounded ideal. Much to Steve's chagrin, however, the BBBS experience would have to wait.

As a busy Kennebunk veterinarian, time was in short supply. An unmarried adult with no children to reap the rewards of his giving nature, Steve threw himself into his work. He longed more than ever to make a difference in a young person’s life but his full schedule did not permit it. Finally, after 34 years in practice, retirement allowed him to fulfill his lifelong dream. Big Brothers Big Sisters of Southern Maine provided the perfect conduit to his goal.

In October of 2021, BBBS matched Askin with his Little, Tyler. The ensuing bond that formed between the two would change both of their lives.

16-year-old Tyler missed his dad. His parents’ separation was a devastating blow to the sensitive high schooler. Always an anxious child, the upheaval in his life made him even more withdrawn, unable to express his painful feelings. Although his father was present in his life, time with him was limited, leaving the boy wanting more. Now, more than ever, Tyler craved attention and yearned for someone to look up to. His mom realized that her son needed a good male role model, someone who would listen to him and be there to depend on.

Hoping to fill the void in Tyler’s life, she signed him up with BBBS, and soon the newly minted Little had his special mentor.

Steve and Tyler’s bond germinated on a two-hour hike, and flourished through time spent at the movies, at the International Cryptology Museum, or just walking around and talking. Kittery Trading Post, Cabela’s, and the Maine Mall have become just a few of their favorite haunts. Dinner out often follows their outings, offering a piece of quiet time to swap thoughts.

A comfort level established itself early on. For Tyler, always plagued by difficulty opening up to others, the warm and easygoing Askin turned out to be the perfect sounding board for an anxious teen. “Steve is like the grandfather I never had,” Tyler says. He goes on to praise his mentor further. “He is so nice and easy to talk to.” He adds excitedly, “We have the same sense of humor!”

In a classic role reversal, mentee became mentor when Tyler shared his love of Formula One racing with his Big. The 16-year-old proved to be a font of knowledge in the sport, tutoring Steve on the rules of racing, infusing him with fervor. Surprised at the depth of his own newfound interest, Steve says, “Tyler’s enthusiasm has resulted in me becoming interested in learning more and watching every race!”

But interest in Formula One racing is far from the only gift the Little has bestowed upon his Big. According to Steve, Tyler has given him a new vision of life. “Tyler really opened up the world to me as seen through a younger mind’s view,” he says with a sense of awe. “I have found it so inspirational how a young person thinks and sees things with such fresh eyes.”

Reciprocally, Tyler has found a new lens on life through Steve’s view. “I get to see what things were like for Steve when he was my age,” the teen says. “Everything was so different back then, but kind of the same, too.”

Tyler is grateful for the many things he has learned from his Big. Steve has taught him what to do in certain situations, like buying a car. “Not boring conversations,” Tyler is quick to add. “More like what his experience has been." He pauses thoughtfully and adds, "He has shown me how to make good decisions.”

Tyler’s mom is deeply thankful for the difference the ten-month-long relationship has made in her son’s life. “I’ve noticed such a change in his confidence and his mood in general,” she says, smiling. “Steve has shown him that there are men out there who enjoy his company and want to listen to him. Tyler needed that more than I even knew.” She goes on to say, “He is so much more open now. His grades have even gotten better. This experience has absolutely changed his life.”

Steve agrees. “Tyler is a lot less anxious, more talkative. I really like seeing that development in him.”

A local affiliate of Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, Big Brothers Big Sisters Southern Maine has matched 3,400 children and teens with a mentor since 1995. Mentors are carefully screened and trained before beginning the meticulous matching phase.

Katie Parsons is a Program Team Member at BBBS and works closely with Steve and Tyler. “Watching this match grow comfortably together has been a pleasure,” she says. “They acknowledge the little things and find joy in whatever they choose to do.”

The BBBS mission statement reads, “To create and support one-on-one mentoring relationships that ignite the power and promise of youth.” For Steve and Tyler, it is mission accomplished.

Based in Westbrook, BBBS of Southern Maine serves York and Cumberland counties. Volunteers are the backbone of their organization and the need for them is great. For more information on Big Brothers Big Sisters of Southern Maine, go to www. somebigs.org.