Living in Singapore Magazine - April/May 2020

April-May 2020

Your Career On Track!

Workshops, career counselling, job hunting and more with CRCE

Living In Singapore Is One! Your community magazine celebrates its first birthday

Scouting Salutes A homage to Singapore’s healthcare workers from the Scouting community LIVING IN SINGAPORE 1

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Check Out What’s Happening!

Every month, AAS brings its members a wide variety of events that are either discounted or member-exclusive.

Sign up online to book your spot at our April and May offerings!

Coming This April and May

CRCE This April and May

The 87th George Washington Ball: A Breath of Glamour – the highlight of the AAS calendar! A fabulous gala evening, supporting People’s Movement to Stop Haze.

High School On Track: Land an Internship & Stand Out to College Admissions Officers – find out more about the role of internships in the college admissions process

Living in Singapore Talk – informative talk about getting the most out of the island.

Working Across Cultures: Boost Your Professional Success in Singapore - develop your cultural awareness and hone your own cultural competencies

Teaching English: Your Portable Career – building a career in teaching and your job prospects in Singapore

Our Regular Monthly AAS Events Coffee Connexions – make new friends and catch up with old ones over coffee Third Thursday – gatherings, talks, quiz nights and more, every third Thursday of the month Metworks – lunches and happy hours with our networking group for men Men’s Tennis – looking for a men’s tennis ladder? We’ve got one for you!

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who we are About 60 years ago, a young American president put forward the suggestion that Americans should, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country.” The statement evokes feelings of patriotism and civic duty, but in a wider context it asks to find resolve, to rally, to be selfless. If ever there has been a time when we have needed to revisit this, it’s now.

There is no denying that the past few months have been a challenge for everyone amid the outbreak of the Coronavirus disease, but in capturing daily snapshots of how the American community has responded in times of crisis over the Association’s social media channels, emails and calls to the office, the sentiments and words of kindness, compassion, support and understanding towards one and all have been astonishing.

It has been truly heartwarming.

Acts of human kindness and appreciation are reflected no less so in this issue of Living in Singapore magazine. The ‘Our Community’ section features how the Scouts and Girl Guides wrote an overwhelming number of letters of gratitude to Singapore’s healthcare workers in response to COVID-19. It also shares how “it takes a tribe” when caring for a child with cancer, as American community member, Lesli Berggren, tells her story of the love and support she and her family received from the community and founding the charity ‘LOVE, NILS’ to honor her son.

Our writers dug deep, too, in bringing you all of our regular travel, business, health & wellness, food & drink, education features and all there is as to what living in Singapore is all about.

Finally, through our cover feature, we’d like to welcome to AAS Dr. James Kwan, our new Career Counsellor, who will be providing guidance through one-to-one sessions and workshops as part of the Association’s CRCE programs. We also showcase the valuable tools and resources CRCE offers for you to develop professionally and personally.

Wishing everyone good health in the months ahead.

Editor-in-Chief Katie Baines 4 LIVING IN SINGAPORE

EDITORIAL Editor-in-Chief: Katie Baines communications@aasingapore.com Publishing Editor: Christi Novomesky generalmanager@aasingapore.com LAYOUT Graphic Designer: Silvia Ong graphics@aasingapore.com ADVERTISING Advertising Manager: Thila Chandra san.ads@aasingapore.com COLUMNISTS Alka Chandiramani, Julian A. Chua, John S. Hamalian, Richard L. Hartung, Dee Khanduja, Andy Lee, Amanda L. Lim, Andrea McKenna Brankin, Laura O’Gorman Schwarz, Vivienne Scott CONTRIBUTORS Katie Baines (for AAS), Ann Chow, Dr. Jeff Devens, Chris Milliken, Dr. Charu Narayanan, Lily Ong, Sophia Ragland, Heidi Sarna, Marc Servos, Seetha Sharma AMERICAN ASSOCIATION BOARD MEMBERS President: Blair Hall Vice President: Michael Johnson Treasurer: Ria Hoban Secretary: Brian Schwender Directors: Ashok Lalwani, Caitlin McNeal, Jeff Gaines, Holli Feichko, Jason Iafolla Immediate Past President: Stephanie Nash AmCham Chair: Dr. Hsien-Hsien Lei The American Club President: Richard Hartung AWA President: Mel Rice SACAC Chair: Jeff Majestic SAS Chair: Tom Boasberg Non-Voting Members: US Embassy: Tor Petersen US Military: Rear Admiral Joey Tynch AAS: Christi Novomesky PUBLISHER – AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF SINGAPORE The American Association of Singapore (AAS) is a professional, not-for-profit organization established to enhance the well-being and living experience of Americans residing in Singapore and to promote relationships, both business and social, between Americans and those from different cultures and nationalities.

15 Scotts Road, #03-02 Thong Teck Building, Singapore 228218 (+65) 6738 0371 • admin@aasingapore.com • www.aasingapore.com.

Living in Singapore magazine is circulated six times per year, with a readership of 24,000, with the purpose of enhancing the expatriate experience in Singapore.

SUBSCRIPTION A subscription to Living in Singapore is complementary with an AAS or CRCE membership. AAS annual family membership is $120. CRCE membership is $220.

To join, visit www.aasingapore.com and have Living in Singapore magazine delivered to your home. Reproduction in any manner, in English or any other language, is prohibited without written permission.

Living in Singapore welcomes all contributions of volunteer time or written material. Living in Singapore is printed by Ho Printing Singapore Pte Ltd. 31, Changi South Street 1, Changi South Industrial Estate, Singapore 486769. Living In Singapore magazine Print Permit No. MCI (P) 077/04/2019.

what’s in...

8 Resumes at the Ready!

Get your career on track with CRCE

18 Scouting Salutes Honor Singapore’s healthcare workers with the Scouting community

19 Happy Birthday LIS! Celebrate with us as your community magazine turns one

26 Singapore’s Secrets Discover the Singapore you never knew

8 38 Japanese Gems Feast on Japan’s finest fare in Singapore’s Izakaya

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Cover photo by Katie Baines

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community calendar Message from the President There are many reasons why I am proud to be part of the American Association, but if there is one reason in particular that stands out in times such as these, it’s ‘our community spirit’. So, let me take this opportunity to say ‘thank you’, to all of you.

Understandably, our program of events, as with many organizations, has been affected by COVID-19, but through the agility and swift action taken by the AAS team in implementing and communicating changes, and the support and kind understanding from our members, sister organizations, sponsors, advertiser and vendors, the heart and soul of our Association has remained very much alive.

As we continue our pledge to monitor the situation, through careful planning we have been able to go ahead with a select number of events and intend to approach future events with the same consideration, responding to MOH guidelines accordingly. We remain very excited about our intended future event plans at the time of this writing, but with uncertainties in mind, we look to you, our community, for your continued understanding for amendments to these.

We are absolutely delighted that we were able to reschedule the calendar highlight and what is the heart and soul of the Association, our George Washington Ball, to Saturday, April 25. What we have been working towards is a fantastic program where nothing else changes: same time, same venue, same fabulous event. Tickets are on sale, so if you weren’t able to attend the February date, then now is the time to book!

Coffee Connexions and Metworks Happy Hour, two of our flagship Connexions events, are still planned for April and May, so please do sign up for these online. The AAS AGM is also scheduled for April 28, and details for the time and venue will follow shortly – watch this space!

It goes without saying, from myself and all at AAS, stay safe.

Michael Borchert AAS President

American Community Organizations Directory AAS aasingapore.com +65 6738 0371 American Dragons americandragons.sg AmCham amcham.org.sg +65 6597 5730

AWA awasingapore.org +65 6734 4895

Navy League nlus.sgp.org

Sacac Sports afl.sacac.com

TAC amclub.org.sg +65 6737 3411

SAS sas.edu.sg +65 6363 3403

US Embassy sg.usembassy.gov +65 6476 9100

Scouts BSA Scouts Troop 7B: bsatroop07.org BSA Scouts Troop 10B and 1010G: facebook.com/BSATroopX Cub Scouts Pack 3010: sites.google.com/view/sgtroop10/home Cub Scouts Pack 3017: SGPack3017@gmail.com USA Girl Scouts: singaporeusagirlscouts.org

American Association & Sister Organizations Events American Association of Singapore (AAS & CRCE) Coffee Connections April 1 & May 6, 10 – 11:30am Metworks Happy Hour April 9, 6 – 8pm The 87th George Washington Ball April 25, 7 – 11:45pm American Association of Singapore AGM April 28, 7 – 8:30pm, venue TBC Living in Singapore Talk May 19, 7 – 9pm High School On Track: Land an Internship & Stand Out to College Admissions Officers April 21, 5:30 – 7:30pm Power Up Your Skills Set April 29, 10am – 12pm Working Across Cultures: Boost Your Professional Success in Singapore May 12, 10am – 12pm Teaching English: Your Portable Career May 20, 10 – 11:45am At The Table: A Networking & Career Group for Women May 28, 6:30 – 8:30pm American Chamber of Commerce (AmCham) Amcham’s Annual General Meeting 2020 April 23, 11:00am – 3:00 pm COVID-19 and Its Impact on Supply Chains in Asia April 28, 8:00 – 9:30am American Women’s Association (AWA) Volunteering: Project Refresh!

April 4, 9:30am – 6pm AWA Annual General Meeting (AGM) 2020 May 5, 11:30am – 12pm Singapore American School Parent-Teacher Conferences (Middle School) April 23-24 AP Examinations May 4-15 (High School (Tentative))

notable events The 87th George Washington Ball: A Breath of Glamour Join us for a night of all things glamour while you enjoy a delicious four-course meal, free flowing drinks, live music and dancing, and the opportunity to raise funds to support Singapore charity, People’s Movement to Stop Haze (PMHaze). W Singapore - Sentosa Cove, April 25, 7 – 11:45pm Living in Singapore Talk Informative talk based on our popular Living in Singapore book with tips on how to navigate through life in the Lion City.

Registration required. Free for AAS members, Singapore American School parents and The American Club members. Think Space, The American Club, May 19, 7 – 9pm

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notable events High School On Track: Land an Internship & Stand Out to College Admissions Officers Hosted in conjunction with The American Club Join this workshop to find out more about the role of internships in the college admissions process. Not only will you learn how to highlight and integrate your professional experiences into your college application essays, but you’ll also leave this workshop with effective and actionable tips and strategies on how to locate, secure and excel in your next internship. The American Club, April 21, 5:30 – 7:30pm Power Up Your Skills Set If you want to find your desired job, be promoted to the next level, or shake things up and make a transition to a new career path, then this is the workshop for you! Take place in a skills mapping exercise, assess where your skills gap lies and begin working on a plan to build a more competitive skills set to launch you further in your career. AAS Office, April 29, 10am – 12pm Working Across Cultures: Boost Your Professional Success in Singapore Career Clinic in partnership with Expat Living As an expat, understanding the influence of culture is critical to surviving and thriving in Singapore. Join Dr. Zsuzsanna Tungli, of Developing Global Leaders Asia, for an interactive workshop on developing your level of cultural awareness and honing your own cultural competencies. May 12, 10am – 12pm, venue TBC Teaching English: Your Portable Career Come along to this talk for an in-depth insight on becoming an English teacher, your job prospects in Singapore and how building a career in teaching gives you flexibility and freedom overseas.

This workshop is suitable for those who are looking for a career that is mobile, considering a career switch or who are looking to expand what they are currently doing.AAS office, May 20, 10 – 11:45am At The Table: A Networking & Career Group for Women At the Table is a networking and career group for women and this month’s topic is on Entrepreneurship, featuring a panel of female entrepreneurs sharing stories of their journeys and lessons learned along the way. Come and join the discussion, hear inspiring insights from our speakers and connect with other professional women at this exciting session. Window To The Past, May 28, 6:30 - 8:30pm

member benefits California Pizza Kitchen 15% discount for à la carte menu for dine-in only.

Through June 30, 2020. Tel: 6836 0110. T&C applies.

Drinks & Co. 20% discount on all food items. Offer valid at Holland Village outlet only. Through May 31, 2020.

Tel: 9619 4568. Reservations recommended.

Estheclinic 10% discount for all their treatments. Through September 30, 2020. Tel: 6221 4797. T&C applies.

Hard Rock Cafe (Singapore & Sentosa) 15% discount on food and beverage upon showing your AAS membership card. Through May 2020.

Tel: 6235 5232 (Singapore), 6795 7454 (Sentosa).

T&C applies.

Hedger’s Carpet Gallery 10% off professional carpet cleaning and restoration services. Free high-quality underlayment with every purchase at our store (while stocks last). Through May 31, 2020. Tel: 6462 0028. T&C applies.

Lawry’s The Prime Rib 15% discount for à la carte food bill for dine-in only.

Tel: 6836 3333. T&C applies.

Morton’s of Chicago Complimentary cocktail or mocktail (one per diner) and one complimentary dessert per table.

Applicable for main dining room only. Through December 30, 2020. Present AAS membership card to enjoy. Tel: 6339 3740. T&C applies.

QB Food $20 e-voucher with a minimum spend of $150 for home delivery, use code ‘Newbie’. Code is for single use and new members to QB Food.

Qua 15% off regular items. Free delivery within Singapore Island for items above $100.00, otherwise, $20 delivery charge applies. Promo code: AAS2020.

Promotion valid through Dec 31, 2020. T&C applies.

Shanti Residence, Nusa Dua, Bali AAS Members get 15% off room bookings directly.

Quote AASSHANTI. Tel: 6338 2069. T&C applies.

Singapore Marriott Tang Plaza Hotel AAS members enjoy 25% discount on F & B. Present AAS membership card to enjoy. T&C applies.

Tel: 6735 5800.

Telunas With a minimum three-night stay at Telunas Private Island, receive a complementary 90-minute body massage for one person. Through Nov 2020.

Tel: +62 811-7710-951. T&C applies.

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up close and personal with...

Chris Milliken at PengWine

The team at PengWine have long been friends with the American Association; avid participants of our Ambassador’s Cup Golf Tournament, both on and off the greens, and generous benefactors at our George Washington Ball. We talk to President - CEO, Chris Milliken, about his involvement with AAS, what makes him tick when it comes to wine and what’s new at PengWine.

What do you love about working with AAS? I have had the pleasure of being involved and working with AAS for nearly 12 years! Since my family and I arrived, we were very much involved with the American Community.

Though many of the faces have changed, the friendships have grown and the community continues to thrive. AAS has provided my family and my business many opportunities to engage with the local Singaporean community and the American Community. The Association is always busy with fun events; my favorites are the Ambassador’s Golf Tournament and the George Washington Ball.

How did you get involved with the wine industry?

I am a Chef by trade and it was a natural progression for me to pursue my passion for wine which came later in my career.

Originally, I loved the idea of being a Sommelier. Then went further to learn how to make it.

After a few years of producing wine in the country of Chile, we moved to Singapore with my wife’s job and now I’m in the wine making and wine selling business.

My Singapore company Amigos Y Vinos here now exports wine to six countries in Southeast Asia.

What’s new at PengWine?

Most recently, I’m so excited about our Augmented Reality (AR) experience – a technology that superimposes a computergenerated image on a user’s view of the real world – with DRNK AR. I have had a vison of being able to interact at a high level, via the mobile device, for many years and now that dream is becoming a reality. To me, DRNK is like the Vivino App, but amplified. It scans more than just wine and creates a very unique user experience, as well as informative AR.

If you didn’t work in wine, what would you be doing?

Great question! I would like to think that I would be involved with some project that is taking on Green initiatives. The environment is important to me and I’d like to use my passion for improving the impact we as humans are having on the planet.

What are your top wine picks for a tropical climate?

Though I make wine in Chile, honestly, I love a good New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc and a crisp dry Riesling. With spicy food in Singapore, I like to drink our Carménère red blends, the Rockhopper and King - The King was awarded the ‘Best of the Best in Singapore’ by the Tower Club.

AAS Strategic Partners We would like to extend our thanks to our strategic partners at the Association for their continued support and contribution.

Eagle Partner

Centennial Partners PANTONE 424C

Pantone 424c: C 57.4 M 47.29 Y 47.86 K 14.12

Community Partner

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CARPET AUCTION @ The American Club 24 April (Friday Night) | The Galbraith Ballroom at B2 Viewing: 5.30pm Auction: 7.30pm

Make an offer !!!

Come join us for a drink & light finger food as we auction off 80 beautiful Contemporary, Traditional, Tribal & Antique handknotted carpets from our latest shipment. No reasonable offer will be refused. All carpets fully guaranteed with Certificates.

Be one of the first 20 to register and receive a Mystery Gift, and stand a chance to win in our 6 Lucky Draws worth $6,000!!

Buy with confidence:

Registration Required :Call 64620028 or E-mail to

Member

hedgerscarpets@singnet.com.sg

At The Table: A Networking & Career Group for Women

Ramp Up Your Career with CRCE Many people find themselves moving to Singapore to further their partners’ careers. It can be a lonely place at first, without the familiar routines, family and friends back home. For those who have left their own careers to support that of their partners, missing the buzz of the office and the associated feelings of purpose that go with being gainfully employed may suddenly become lacking. And so, there was a gap to be filled.

In 1998, AAS spearheaded the Career Resource Center for Expatriates (CRCE), so called because, at the time, this was the community it sought to assist, and since then has assisted thousands of its members, in job searching and furthering their professional and personal development.

However, with the ever-changing expat landscape, our member base became more diverse and other needs emerged, which gave rise to the rebranding to the Career Resource Center for Excellence.

Members found they needed more personal assistance from an expert, so the service began to offer One-to-One Career Counseling; job hunters wanted to actively search for opportunities online, so we connected with employers and created our jobs board; employers discovered we had an untapped pool of highly qualified candidates looking for work, so the ‘Post Your Resume’ page on our website was created for them to review; legal requirements for entrepreneurs to begin a start-up business began to change and others were looking for a career change after relocating here, so niche workshops were tailored to this.In more recent times, we found a need for more female and male-centric networking groups, which gave rise to ‘At the Table’ and ‘Metworks’, then it came to light that high school students needed help with applying to college, and so ‘High School on Track’ came about.

As our member demographic continues to evolve, we intend to react to this and stay dynamic in what we do. It is our hope to be able to support any member of our community in achieving their personal and professional goals.

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While AAS had successfully relaunched Metworks, an all-men’s networking group, CRCE saw that there was a call for a womenspecific group that served as both a platform for networking and career development. Prominent members of our community put their heads together to design an offering that would meet these requirements, and in November 2018, ‘At the Table’ was launched – for women, by women, featuring an ongoing series of regular events to exchange views and ideas in an open and welcoming environment.

Since the inaugural event, the group has gone from strength to strength. Each get-together highlights a professional topic for discussion, and guest speakers share their insights from their area of expertise to ensure that the session adds value and that there are meaningful takeaways. From its inception, ‘At the Table’ has offered a number of events on such topics as ‘Negotiation’, ‘Managing Stress’, ‘Networking with Confidence’, being ‘The Only Woman in the Room’ and ‘Achieving Clarity to Design a More Fulfilling Career’.

Attendees have had the opportunity to expand their networks by connecting and networking with other professional women. Join us at the next meet-up on May 28!

High School On Track Applying for college out of high school can often be a minefield, and with so many students from our community embarking on this stage of their lives, we saw an opportunity to assist.

In collaboration with Andy Lee, Founder and CEO of Ivy Education and writer for Living in Singapore magazine, CRCE launched its High School On Track program in March 2019. The program features educational workshops for parents and high school students to offer practical guidance on the high school journey and navigating the college admissions process.

Speaking of his workshops, Andy says: “What I seek to do is break down the often complicated overwhelming college admissions process into bite-sized pieces. Some of the topics that I have explored in my sessions include: college admissions essays, extracurricular activities and summer internships and interview preparation.”

Both parents and students, associated with schools from across the island, have found these sessions to be of great help.

Workshops & Events CRCE offers regular workshops and events on a range of career-related topics for both job seekers and non-job seekers alike. Check out highlights from our exciting lineup below: High School On Track: Land an Internship & Stand Out to College Admissions Officers Hosted in conjunction with The American Club Tuesday, April 21, 5:30pm – 7:30pm The American Club, Library (3rd Floor), 10 Claymore Hill Power Up Your Skills Set Wednesday, April 29, 10am – 12pm American Association of Singapore, 15 Scotts Road, #03-02 Thong Teck Building Working Across Cultures: Boost Your Professional Success in Singapore Career Clinic in partnership with Expat Living Tuesday, May 12, 10am-12pm Venue TBC Teaching English: Your Portable Career Wednesday, May 20, 10-11:45am American Association of Singapore, 15 Scotts Road, #03-02 Thong Teck Building At The Table: A Networking & Career Group for Women Thursday, May 28, 6:30-8:30pm Window To The Past, 3 Kung Chong Road See AAS website for member and non-member pricing for all events

What They Said…

One-to-One Career Guidance Career Counseling with our Career Advisor Individuals looking for more personalized career guidance have found CRCE’s One-to-One Career Counseling sessions as a valuable resource. Whether actively on the job hunt, seeking to make a career change or struggling to overcome career roadblocks, our Career Advisor tailors the 45-minute private session to fit the needs of the individual and offers advice on the topics most relevant to his/her needs. Topics can include: • Understanding the Singapore job market and learning tips for conducting your job search here • Getting feedback on your resume in order to align with local expectations and best practices • Networking and using LinkedIn • Interview practice and preparation • Writing cover letters and other application collateral • Discussion of transferrable skills to explore potential career options

Are You an Employer?

CRCE connects employers with our members looking to exercise their talent by volunteering or gaining employment. Employers have the opportunity to advertise openings on our jobs board, free of charge, and access a pool of talent by viewing resumes of CRCE members who have posted on our Resumes page.

CRCE also offers customized membership programs for corporations, schools and other organizations seeking to enhance the experience of their employees in Singapore and to provide career support for spouses of employees.

We’re always happy to hear from satisfied attendees!

“Recently I attended the workshop on Interviewing and Networking skills. Suzanna Borst, the presenter, encouraged me to think about my work history and past experiences in a way that revealed common themes and helped identify my key motivators. This enabled me to develop a story of my career progression that highlights my skills and strengths and that I can use in networking situations, cover letters and online.” - Brenda Cowles, November 2019

“I’ve been a member of CRCE for the past six years (albeit not always a very active one!) and have benefitted greatly from the workshops I have attended and the team’s cheerful approach and dedication. Thank you!” – Deepa S, February 2020

Get in Touch!

If you’ve got any questions about our CRCE membership or services, please do get in touch via email at crce@aasingapore.com or call us on 6738 0371. We’ll be happy to help!

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Meet CRCE’s New Career Advisor, Dr. James Kwan CRCE recently said goodbye to Career Advisor Suzanna Borst as expat life took her and her husband to a new adventure outside of Singapore. We thank Suzanna for her invaluable contributions to CRCE and wish her well on her new journey.

We’d like to welcome on board new Career Advisor Dr. James Kwan, who brings a wealth of experience and knowledge to the role. James will conduct CRCE’s One-to-One Counseling sessions and lead some of our professional development workshops. We caught up with James to share his background and expertise.

Tell us about yourself.

By trade, I am an accountant turned consultant and have worked in financial services, manufacturing, higher education, hotel management and property development, and consultancy sectors for more than 20 years.

This has been in training, lecturing, coaching and independent

directorship and I’ve been providing career coaching and mentoring for C-suite leaders and professional managers from a wide variety of industries and countries, undergraduates and postgraduates at several organizations and higher education institutions.

I hold a PhD in Accounting and Finance and four master degrees in business administration, investment and finance, business research and digital education, but my current interest is in positive psychology and coaching psychology.

Why is having a One-to-One Career Counseling session a valuable resource?

As every client is unique and each has different career goals, so having a one-to-one confidential discussion allows the Career Advisor to understand some of the career options and challenges they face.

It provides an opportunity for the Career Advisor to provide specific advice and direction, then identify various pathways options to develop strategies so as to achieve their career goals.

My role is to provide guidance to craft customized resumes with unique selling propositions and increase their visibility and credibility in their social media profile that capture the interest of recruiters and hiring managers. Through effective coaching, I boost their confidence in managing their interviews and negotiations that could result in job offers.

What trends are you seeing in the employment landscape in Singapore?

Singapore’s superlative position as a digital nation is shaping both ‘supply and demand’ sides of the employment landscape. I am seeing more candidates using YouTube presentations and LinkedIn as platforms to market themselves.

As the government puts strong emphasis on continuous learning, many job seekers are upskilling themselves to stay relevant in this highly competitive economy. Talent acquisition managers are using AI, data analytics and social media

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platforms to showcase their value propositions, which in turn helps to secure the best talent on the market. They are not only looking for candidates with technical skills and relevant experience, but also see the importance of them having strong leadership, teamwork, critical and creative thinking and other soft skills to ensure they are ‘culturally’ fit into the organizations.

Talent shortages continue to be a pressing issue, particularly in the financial services, information technology, engineering, healthcare and education sectors.

It’s great to see that many multinational and big listed companies are promoting employee wellbeing, diversity and inclusiveness, strong corporate governance and corporate social responsibility practices.

What advice would you give job seekers in Singapore?

Have an impactful resume that is tailored to the job’s requirement, create a strong personal branding in LinkedIn, be well-prepared for interviews and continuously build networks in Singapore and elsewhere.

More than 60% of candidates who I have coached landed roles through referrals from the wide network they have built over the years.

Upskilling and reskilling are crucial, too, as employers are looking for people who have both technical and managerial skills to fit the role.

Finally, be adaptable to working in a multicultural and multilingual environment in Singapore, where racial harmony and mutual respect are important.

Interested in a One-to-One Career Counseling session with James?

Check out our events calendar to sign up for one of our scheduled dates or email crce@aasingapore.com to arrange a session at your convenience.

CAREER RESOURCE CENTER FOR EXCELLENCE PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

ARE YOU LOOKING TO DEVELOP YOURSELF PROFESSIONALLY OR PERSONALLY IN SINGAPORE? If so, the Career Resource Center for Excellence (CRCE) is the place for you!

CRCE is for individuals residing in Singapore who are: • job hunting in Singapore • contemplating a career change • looking to get back into the workforce • wanting to further develop their professional skills • considering entrepreneurship • interested in personal development

MEMBER BENEFITS Job Searching

Workshops & Events

• Exclusive access to a members-only jobs board

• Member pricing to workshops and events

• Weekly email alerts with latest jobs

• Complimentary admission to one workshop

• Upload your resume for employers to review

• Complimentary admission to our Living in Singapore Talk

Join CRCE today!

Membership begins on the day you join for 12 months.

CRCE membership is $220.

If you’re a current AAS member, for an additional $100, you can add CRCE access.

Talk to us about joining now! crce@aasingapore.com

LIVING IN SINGAPORE 13

jobs & career

How to Set Goals and Actually Achieve Them

By Dee Khanduja Let’s talk about goals. We all set ourselves goals, but how many of us truly succeed in achieving what we set out to do?

First let’s examine some common reasons why we get derailed:

LACK OF CLARITY

FEAR OF FAILURE

We have a grand idea that gets our adrenaline pumping, but we don’t really have clarity around why we want to achieve this goal.

In his Ted Talk, Simon Sinek famously coined the phrase ‘Start with Why’. When it comes to goal setting, understanding why you are going to spend an ounce of energy on something is critical. Why? Because this is the fundamental reason for achieving your goal in the first place and you can return to it and reset yourself when the going gets tough, or energy wanes.

Ah, the dreaded four letter word: fear! This f-word is responsible for the graveyard of people’s dreams. Never has any human trait slain more dreams and ambitions than fear.

We fear failure, we fear other people’s judgment, so we play safe and don’t take the bold steps necessary to move the needle for us.

Fear has its roots with the stories we tell ourselves - our inner narrative. So if you find yourself feeling fearful, it’s a sign that you may need to do some inner mindset work to really pluck the ‘weeds’ out.

Book recommendation: You’ve Got This - The LifeChanging Power of Trusting Yourself, by Margie Warrell.

This is a great book to start with when you need to work on building courage.

When gaining clarity on your goal, it’s best to go ‘seven levels deep’ or, in other words, not just accepting the first explanation from yourself.

Ask yourself “why is this important to me?” and repeat this question seven times for each answer you come up with.

Going seven levels deep can take you down a rabbit hole, where you may be surprised at your true motivation behind doing something. Go deep, for there is where the treasures lie.

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Ask yourself and visualize how your world will look if you don’t move past your fear in three, five and ten years’ time.

Then ask yourself and visualize how your world would look if you do achieve your goal and conquer your fear.

The contrast between pleasure and pain can motivate people to do the work necessary!

NO PLAN IN PLACE Having a tangible daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly and annual plan is critical for you to measure where you are and where you are going. Having - and sticking to - your periodic planners will keep you on course at all times.

Having no plan is akin to a pilot flying without a route planner and with a blindfold. Would you want to be flying on that plane?

Buy a planner. The High Performance Planner

by Brendan Burchard is great for keeping you focussed.

DISTRACTIONS Social media, Whatsapp, emails, kids, etc. You know what distracts you. The question is: What are your control measures? Research says that it can take a whole 20 minutes for us to regain our flow or momentum with a task every time we are distracted.

The problem is we are constantly distracted, so we struggle to operate at a high productivity level. Furthermore, completing tasks becomes a choppy affair.

We end up stopping and starting more times than an old car. This is an unproductive way to focus energy and time.

Self-Discipline The solution to this global pandemic is self-discipline. You simply have to establish boundaries around your time and safeguard them with your life.

Ok, that sounds dramatic, but it’s supposed to. Our fluid boundaries around our time and energy are the reason our projects slow, stall and ultimately fail.

So, set a higher standard for yourself by firming up those boundaries around chunks of your time.

Turn your phone over so you can’t see messages ping, use flight mode, switch it off (gasp). Establish boundaries around meetings and call times and don’t let anything interrupt your flow.

Think of your time as an energy exchange. Where should your energy be diverted, focused and deposited?

Try the ‘Anti Social’ or ‘Self Control’ apps to help you block distractions. You can also try the Google Chrome extension, ‘Stay Focused’.

GIVING UP TOO EASILY Many people give up on dreams too soon or too easily. This is because getting involved with day to day tasks is gritty work. It requires discipline and hard work. And if your fundamental ‘why’ isn’t rock solid in the first place, your energy can dry out.

So how do you stop yourself giving up? See points 1-4 above, and do the work!

Book recommendation: to get yourself a pocket coach, check out Unf*ck Yourself, by Gary John Bishop.

BACKWARD ENGINEERING GOALS I advocate dreaming big. However, there comes a stage where we need to break that big dream into small parts, then further into smaller chunks, bitesize pieces, crumbs and particles.

A big boulder can seem daunting.

But, if you break it into smaller rocks, you can use the rocks as stepping stones. This is how your goals should be backward engineered.

Goals Redesigned Step 1: Get clarity around your big audacious goal and set a clear date to achieve it - without a date, your goal is ‘flakey’ and lacks urgency.

Step 2: Break your goal into a yearly target.

Step 3: Break the yearly target into quarterly targets.

Step 4: Break the quarterly targets into monthly/weekly/daily targets.

Step 5: Set your daily and weekly targets for critical tasks.

Step 6: Commit and execute (this is the hardest part).

IN SUMMARY… The above tasks may seem daunting or overwhelming. They may appear to be hard work. That’s because they are.

Achieving goals is gritty work.

If you talk to an action-taker or a goal-achiever or an athlete, they will all sing the same chorus and confirm that achieving goals can be a grind.

But does that mean we shouldn’t do it? Well, that depends on what your goal is and how much you want it.

Start with clarity.

Dee is an International Speaker, Writer and Trainer. Founder & CEO of Career Queenz - Membership site for wildly ambitious mamaentrepreneurs.

LIVING IN SINGAPORE 15

our community

An interview with Lesli Berggren,

by Alka Chandiramani Learning that your child is sick is the news that any parent dreads. But when your child is diagnosed with cancer, it propels you into a new world. This is what Lesli Berggren, who I met at a CRCE workshop I was delivering a few years ago, told me after her son tragically passed away following complications resulting from his stem cell transplant for lymphoma stage 4 cancer.

I hadn’t seen Lesli for some time, so it was such a pleasant surprise to bump into her very recently. We chatted about what she was doing and how the years had passed us by. Thinking of what she had been through, I later reached out to her to share her story about LOVE, NILS, the charity she founded to honor her son.

Lesli, it was so good to see you! I wonder if you could tell us about yourself and LOVE, NILS. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to share. I have been a member of the American Association off and on for 22 years.

It had been a year after my teenage son, Nils, passed from complications from cancer and a stem cell transplant in 2014, when one of my friends invited me to your CRCE Resume Writing Workshop. I wanted to go back to work, to do something meaningful which would make an impact.

Previously I had worked across two completely different industries. But now I wanted to be involved in the healthcare sector. I needed to create a resume that would tell my story of experience navigating Eastern and Western children’s cancer systems and the hospitals which housed

them. CRCE’s workshop equipped me with the tools and I landed a job with a foundation who supported the medical treatment for children with cancer.

However, I was still missing something in my life. I missed being involved with child cancer patients and their caregivers. I had a lot of firsthand personal experience on what they needed for support, beside the medical. It was then I decided to start a charity in Singapore. I founded LOVE, NILS support for children with cancer in honor of Nils. I wanted to help other families like mine.

The name of the charity came from my son. He signed off his emails and letters thanking his supporters with “Love, Nils”.

How does LOVE, NILS help patients and their caregivers with healthcare guidance, emotional care and support?

We have programs in both KK Women's and Children's Hospital (KKH) and National University Hospital (NUH) pediatric oncology wards in Singapore. We provide a Care Coordinator to NUH. They help guide patients and caregivers through the healthcare system and work to overcome obstacles in the way of the patient getting necessary care and treatment. They provide emotional and community support through integrative therapies, housing, transportation, home and school visits. The Care Coordinator’s role is integral, it begins at the time of diagnosis, and they help encourage and empower, taking the children and their families through every step of the journey.

There are various activities that we run, which include: Open Art Sessions, where the entire family can express their emotions.

Many times, it is too difficult to share what is going on internally, the pain, the fear. These sessions are delivered by our licensed art therapists and are a regular feature on the LOVE, NILS calendar, helping the family

work through the emotional fallout of cancer and treatment.

Calendar of Hope, in which we provide free monthly tickets to musical concerts, plays and events. These can help inspire the children and give their entire family a momentary respite from the grueling cycles of chemotherapy and various medical procedures – a day off cancer.

We hold regular Toy Drives. With fragile immune systems, the children are often confined in hospital for months at a time, so we help by bringing the experience of a toy store to them and it makes a huge difference. The children can escape their daily treatment, even if only for a brief moment, and it also lets caregivers know that they are not alone in our community.

Can you share some of the experiences while you were caring for your son?

Taking care of a child with cancer is a 24/7-hour responsibility. There are no babysitters in the hospital to give the caretaker a break to get a cup of coffee or go home to rest, to be with their family. Isolation sets in and it is a very lonely place for both.

You have to answer questions you never thought you would for yourself and the ones your child asks: Why me? Why my child? Why my family?

You soon come to realize the reality is not the battle to beat cancer, it’s the emotional fall out of cancer for the entire family. Cancer is family-centric.

The issues of cancer with a child is that it becomes the ‘new normal’.

Alka is a multi-lingual human resources practitioner with over 25 years of HR and legal experience. She provides neuroleadership, intercultural training and executive career coaching to individuals, high school and university students in Singapore and around the region. In Singapore, she currently provides advisory services to the AAS’s Career Resource Center for Excellence (CRCE).

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It never goes away until the cancer does, or sadly, if they pass.

But the upside is so incredibly rewarding; to be confidentially close to your child, their every thought, need and idea is with you. Time stands still. It is one of the greatest gifts of an illness, if you can imagine that, to be completely present at the moment. You take advantage of every moment. Life can change in a cancer minute.

The most amazing part of taking care of a teenage son with cancer is the fact that they tell you things they would never normally tell their mother, never in their life. It brought me closer to my son than I ever knew possible. It was the best possible mother/son relationship I could have imagined. I am so blessed to have had that time with him. I have this same type of relationship with his twin sister, my daughter, Claire.

How did you and your family manage to cope during that period?

It took me a while for cancer to settle in and for me to seek support. My son needed it, I needed it, my family needed it.

My community rallied. There was a point person I told my needs to and she implemented the outreach. Food was delivered to my home four times weekly, once daily to the hospital; people I did not know did our family’s laundry, attended to my daughter’s needs while I was in the hospital with my son, cleaned our home and more.

I looked at the care my son needed besides the medical. How could I bring the normalcy back to his life? I reached out to his school to connect with him via social media, care packages, letters of encouragement.

I found both of us a psychiatrist, physical therapists to come to our home to help him to walk again.

I reached out to the priest at our church to help me find ways to support a teenager with cancer who was about to give up. I enlisted college students and a tutor to keep his mind active and off the focus of cancer. I finally had to hire outside nursing staff, when he was immobile. I continued to tell my son’s story weekly via social media and ask for support, prayers and encouragement. It takes a village to support a cancer child and their family.

What can American Association members do to help?

Spread awareness for LOVE, NILS. Make us your charity of choice for your family, your company or organization. Raise funds, donate or volunteer.

To learn more about LOVE, NILS and how you can either support them or reach out if you’re a family going through cancer, please visit their website at lovenils.org.

What is your vision for LOVE, NILS for the next 5 years?

Our vision is to be a beacon of hope and resilience for children with cancer and their families, to create awareness about the untold story of childhood cancer, expand our programs and hopefully provide housing for families being treated with childhood cancer from abroad. My goal is to institutionalize LOVE, NILS.

LIVING IN SINGAPORE 17

ou r c o m m u n i t y

First Webelos Girls Cross Over!

By Sophia Ragland

le Webelos This February, the first-ever group of fema to Scouts. ts Scou Cub from over in Singapore will cross Ragland Photos courtesy of Sophia Troop 10, of ts Scou the with g The girls of Troop 1010, alon gnize those will host a Crossing Over ceremony to reco ome them to in Cub Scouts, the Arrow of Light, and welc rank est high Webelos that have achieved the the Scouts.

olize their a bridge for the Webelos to cross to symb As part of the ceremony, we will build ts from Scou d ranke StarRecently, two experienced progression from Cub Scouts to Scouts. g with Alon . tures poles together to create stable struc Troop 10 taught our Scouts how to lash e bridg the y learned pioneering techniques to build Troop 10 Scouts, we will apply our newl for the Crossing Over Ceremony. ts to a symbolizing the transition of Cub Scou Crossing Over is a momentous occasion, 3010 We are delighted to welcome the Pack new, more independent level of Scouting. est for achieving the Arrow of Light, the high Webelos to our Troop. We commend them honor in Cub Scouts. pore we always welcome any girls in Singa In addition to Cub Scouts crossing over, any and interested in Scouting. If you have that are between 11 to 18 years of age ter, tmas Scou our act cont se in joining, plea questions about scouting or are interested .

Paul Adkins, at FECT1010gSG@gmail.com

for Troop 07! d ea h A m a te S ll u F It’s Covid-19, but the e for all in light of It’s been a tough tim rd to individual are still looking forwa 07 op Tro of ts ou Sc mer camps. and planning for sum als go t en em nc adva on! and we’ll see you so Stay safe, everyone,

Photos courtesy of Christin

18 LIVING IN SINGAPORE

Gustafson

Girl Scout Leaders Get Their Share of Fun

By Ann Chow As it turns out, Girl Scout leaders get a lot done even when they’re on “vacation”! From January 31 to February 3 and as part of the Girl Scout Leaders’ Trip to Siem Reap, Cambodia, nine Girl Scout leaders went on a balloon ride, learned how to make traditional Cambodian dishes, saw a traditional Apsara dance show, visited the Koh Ker temple complex, toured a countryside village and served breakfast at a Caring for Cambodia-sponsored school. They brought 110kg of donations to Caring for Cambodia, ate at restaurants that served as training grounds for at-risk youth and created their own pottery at a class taught by teachers who are deaf. It was a great chance to take a break together and also engage in community service. Next year, they hope to take another international trip. Who says Girl Scouts is just for the girls?

The USA Girl Scouts Overseas Singapore program is open to girls aged 5 to 18 years old.

Each Troop has two adult leaders (who have just much fun as the girls!). Early Bird registration will run May 1 until June 30. For more information about the Girl Scout experience, please email Jennifer Yarbrough at chair@singaporeusagirlscouts.org or visit our website at singaporeusagirlscouts.org.

as

Photos courtesy of Ann Chow

LIVING IN SINGAPORE 19

Scouting Salutes Singapore’s Healthcare Workers!

“The whole world owes you!”, “You are my hero!” “When I grow up, I want to be just like you.” Messages such these were all a part of a big letter-writing campaign called ‘Scouts & Guides Care’, an initiative that saw more than a thousand letters being delivered to healthcare workers in Singapore.

The letters were delivered at a very special ceremony attended by Madame Halimah Yacob, the President of the Republic of Singapore. Scouts representing the eight participating groups sang a song of thanks and then presented the letters officially to SingHealth and representative healthcare workers.

American Girls and Boys The campaign was the brainchild of Melinda Murphy Hiemstra who is very actively involved in both USA Girl Scouts Overseas and Cub Scouts.

“My most important role in Girl Scouting is as a leader for Cadette Girl Scout Troop 82. I could tell my 14 girls were nervous about the virus. I wanted a way to empower them and I thought writing letters to the healthcare workers would be a great idea, seeing as the whole globe is praising their efforts. They are working so hard and we are grateful.”

Melinda contacted her friend Philip Tan who is the chair of Community Chest. She wanted direction about where she might be able to USA Girl Scouts Overseas and Boys Scouts of America send the letters. “One phone call later,” Melinda laughs, “and my idea went from organizing 14 girls to 18,000 kids!”

The letters were written over a span of two weeks by eight different Scout and Girl Guide organizations. Those participating included: USA Girl Scouts Overseas (Singapore), Boy Scouts of America (which includes Cub Scouts), French Scouts in Singapore, British Scouting Overseas, British Girlguiding Overseas, ANZA Scouts, Scouts t, including Presiden Australia, Girl Guides Singapore and the Singapore Official Presentation ity Chest) un mm Co , air (Ch Scout Association.

Phillip Tan Health) Prof Kenneth (Sing Representing Boy Scouts of HealthCare Workers, America was Sean Burns, Scout Master, his sons Tomas and Ryan, and Hudson H. Gold Award Girl Scouts Abby B and Saanya G, as well as Maisie H attended along with Jennifer Yarbrough, Chair, Girl Scouts Overseas (Singapore).

Photos courtesy of SingHealth American Girls and Boys with Pres

ident

Happy Birthday Living in Singapore Magazine!

By Katie Baines For 60 years, the Singapore American Newspaper brought community-based news to members of the American Association. It grew from a newsletterstyle periodical, put together in the Editor’s home with a print run of 1,000 copies, to the color magazinestyle publication it peaked at in its final incarnation.

Exactly one year ago, SAN, as it was affectionately known in the American Association office, passed the baton to its successor: Living in Singapore magazine. And it’s been a great year!

We started with a bang, featuring all the fun of the 86th George Washington Ball, Tropicana, in the inaugural issue and introduced new features, such as the ‘Living in Images’ photo competition, a double page splash for the Scouting community and a section devoted to getting the most out of ‘living in Singapore’.

The June/July issue, honed in on Independence Day celebrations away from home, while the August/ September magazine welcomed you all back from your travels, getting you acquainted – or reacquainted – with your home away from home.

For October/November, prominent members of our community shared their hints and tips for making it a Thanksgiving to remember in the tropics, and the December/January’s festive listings gave you a plethora of things to keep you occupied over the festive period.

We finished the year just as strongly as we began, with February/March featuring articles about life in Singapore for US Chargé d’Affaires, Raffik Mansour, and visits to the island

by President Barack Obama and former First Lady, Michelle Obama, as well as Dr. Jane Goodall.

What we hope to have brought you since last April is something glossy and fun; something that would sit on your coffee table for you to pick up and put down at your leisure.

But also, something with all the foundations of its predecessor that has kept you connected with your AAS community. We think we’ve achieved that.

Happy birthday, LIS magazine – here’s to another great year!

LIVING IN SINGAPORE 21

our community Destructive Perfectionism

By Dr. Jeff Devens, high school personal academic counselor/school psychologist Perfectionism is sometimes viewed as a positive personality trait which increases a person’s likelihood of success; however, perfectionism, when accompanied by self-defeating cognitive distortions and corresponding maladaptive behaviors, actually makes it more difficult to achieve goals. This sort of perfectionism, termed ‘Maladaptive Perfectionism’, is often attributed to mental health issues. At its root, perfectionism is about perfecting an imperfect self.

Teens exhibiting perfectionism feel constant pressure to meet unrealistic standards they or others have set for them, often procrastinating because these standards are too difficult to achieve.

Further, they don’t see constructive feedback and the making of mistakes as part of the learning process. Instead, they internalize feedback and errors as confirmation of their worthlessness and spend inordinate amounts of time doing, redoing, planning, but not completing tasks. When too much pressure builds, usually due to a lack of sleep, they implode or explode.

Maladaptive perfectionists remind me of the Greek story of Sisyphus. Zeus punished Sisyphus for his craftiness and deceit by making him roll a boulder up the side of a hill which continually rolled to the bottom before reaching the top. Always working, always toiling, never achieving. Does this describe your child?

Andrew Hill of New York University notes, “There has been some suggestion that, in some cases, perfectionism might be healthy and desirable. Based upon the 60-odd studies that we’ve done, that’s a misunderstanding. Working hard, being committed, diligent, and so on—these are all desirable features.

But for maladaptive perfectionists, those are really a symptom, or a side product, of what perfectionism is.

Perfectionism isn’t about high standards. It’s about unrealistic standards.”

As one perfectionist teen noted, being average is worse than death. When confronted with failure, they experience guilt (i.e. I should be better) and shame (i.e.

I’ll never be good enough). In order to combat these feelings, they often create even higher expectations and, as a result, being perfect becomes a vicious, futile cycle. Why is this happening? Dr. Daniel Gleason, psychiatrist and author, notes, “This maladaptive perfectionism is a primary root cause of anxiety and stress among teens.”

22 LIVING IN SINGAPORE

For some families, there are cultural aspects associated with academic success. Getting into a “good” university is the benchmark by which their parenting is measured, almost like a final parental exam. Perfectionist parents push, pull, taunt, threaten and use fear and shame-based parental tactics in an effort to “help” their child achieve. These are difficult words to write; however, they are written with concern and compassion. We must continue having conversations with the parent-student body, sometimes difficult conversations, regarding who we are as a school community and how we measure student success.

Researcher, Kim Jones notes, “historically the goals of education have been: to prepare children for citizenship, to cultivate a skilled workforce, to teach cultural literacy, to help students become critical thinkers, to help students compete in a global marketplace, and to prepare students for college.”

At Singapore American School we, too, strive for these goals, all the while recognizing we are cultivating young hearts and minds. At the core of who we are, or desire to be, is a relational community. For it is in the context of relationships that kids and adults find reality, passion and purpose, and thrive. If your child is struggling with perfectionism, I have a few suggestions.

Frame reality in truth, with love You are not perfect and neither is anyone else, including your teen. A primary way teens come to understand this is as a result of failure – often lots of failure in a myriad of areas (i.e. academic, social, athletic, artistic, relational, etc.). When perfectionists let go of the idea of being perfect this often unleashes a torrent of emotions.

Each year around October, counselors begin to see a steady stream of students struggling with destructive perfectionism. Why? They’ve earned their first “B.” Prior to this, they earned all ‘A’ grades. With the prospect of a ‘B’ on their report card, they often view all previous academic efforts as worthless. With perceived college hopes dashed they spiral emotionally. The challenge for parents, teachers and counselors is lovingly walking with teens through the pain, hurt and, above all, reality of earning a ‘B’ and helping them recognize their worth isn’t the byproduct of grades, or university placement.

Focus on personal efforts, not others’ successes Perfectionists tend to idolize unrealistic standards, making these the benchmarks of success. A primary way they do this is by comparing their progress with their peers’ progress.

Instead, help kids focus on their progress and performance relative to where they were a week, three weeks, a month, or five months ago. In many cases, it’s helpful to write out progress along the way. Looking back on previous accomplishments, when not in the moment of an emotional meltdown, can be a healthy, self- reflective exercise. Learning and improving oneself is a process. Emphasize the importance of individual learning, not comparing.

There is no “win” with this kind of comparison.

Learn to embrace mistakes as part of the learning process Overcoming perfectionism means working without stressing over mistakes. Perfectionists sometimes need personal space to make mistakes and simply get started with the process. A large part of the work we do in school involves practice, rehearsal and learning by degrees of approximation. Getting started is often a difficult task for perfectionists. This can be helped by establishing cut-off times for the use of technology.

This effectively creates a boundary and lovingly forces them to engage in the learning process.

Challenge extreme thoughts How we think is how we respond. Thoughts left unchecked become actions or emotions justified. Perfectionists think in extremes. Words like ‘everyone’, ‘all the time’, ‘always’, ‘never’ and ‘can’t’ become cognitive traps and self-fulfilling prophecies. When this happens, kids need help redirecting their thinking.

Get the focus off the ‘general’ and ‘broad’ and onto the specifics. What are the tasks to be done?

What are the steps? What is the plan? What is the evidence? Extreme language is used as a means of abdicating responsibility for outcomes, or because kids lack the skills to self-advocate, or both.

Parenting isn’t about perfection, it’s about intentionality, seasoned with a healthy dose of grace. Your kids will need your guidance, support, and love if they are to grow into healthy, responsive and responsible adults, and this includes establishing healthy boundaries.

Address the “four horsemen” of destructive perfectionism Many kids believe if they were only smarter they would achieve at higher levels; however, learning, and ultimately doing “well” is more a byproduct of executive functioning skills than intelligence.

What kids fail to realize is that in order to achieve at higher levels they have to learn the discipline of four fundamental skills: organization, time management, task initiation and emotional regulation. These skills must be taught. Perfectionists don’t tend to seek out help, believing to do so is to acknowledge they are not “smart.” If your child is struggling in one of these areas, address it. They may need your ongoing help, even in eleventh grade!

Originally from Minnesota, Dr. Jeff Devens worked in China and Saudi Arabia before coming to Singapore American School in 2002. In addition to degrees in Social Studies Education and Psychology (B.A), Dr. Devens holds a MA & Ph.D. in School Psychology. Throughout the year Dr. Devens delivers presentations on topics such as third culture transitions, raising teens, and various mental health issues. He recently completed his first book entitled: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Kids Overseas and is a frequent contributor to SAS publications.

LIVING IN SINGAPORE 23

living in singapore Humans of The Embassy Seetha Sharma, Federal Aviation Administration I am a woman of many passions. I fight for women’s rights. I’m a nature lover.

Astronomy and space exploration excite me. I’m a humanist. When I was a teenager, I used to picket outside police stations in New Delhi to protest the practice of dowry deaths – women being burned to death if their families didn’t pay enough dowry so the man could remarry and collect dowry again.

My hair used to come down to my hips. When I was 16, I decided to cut it to shoulder length but the hairdresser sent me away and told me to think about my decision. I left the shop but two minutes later, I returned and told her I had thought about it. My mother didn’t speak to me for a month after that.

Today, I find it alarming that many young women want to distance themselves from feminism. I try to explain that being a feminist doesn’t mean being against men, but that all the rights we enjoy today are because women who came before us fought for them – they were feminists. I don’t think we have reached true equality yet. An important part of getting there is to train our sons on what’s right. I tell my son that if he mistreats a woman, he will be out of my will and his wife will be in.

I spent the first 29 years of my life in India, and the next 25 in Singapore. Thirty of those years, I have worked for the US Embassy. I have a Masters in Economics but INTERNATIONAL now I do I.T. As a computer specialist, I manage our WOMEN’S DAY 2020: servers within the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) network and support offices in Beijing, New Delhi, Tokyo “Women Shaping the World” and, of course, Singapore. I love the Embassy work environment because of the way people are treated In light of The Ministry of Health and because I am given freedom to do my job without upgrading its Disease Outbreak being micro-managed. Having both Singaporean and Response level to Orange, AAS and the American holidays is a nice perk, too. host organizations felt we had a duty When I wandered into the field of I.T. in the mid-1980s, of care to postpone the March event. there were very few women in the field. In training We shall now be celebrating or networking sessions with other I.T. professionals, the International Women’s Day 2020 on men would often insinuate that women in I.T. were just exalted secretaries. Whenever I needed help moving a heavy piece of equipment, I prepared myself to hear “this is why this field is not suitable for women!” I used to tell them, “I’m just smart enough to ask for help and not ruin my back!”

I am happy to see many women in the field now and being accepted as equals.

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Monday, August 31!

Please register at

aasingapore.com or, for further details, email admin@aasingapore.com.

of Local Art

By Laura Schwartz

From historic oil paintings to modern audiovisual installations, there’s no shortage of art in Singapore. However, the country is so cosmopolitan that it’s easy to be swept away by exhibitions of big international artists, like Annie Leibovitz at the ArtScience Museum (2014) or Yayoi Kusama at the National Gallery (2017), which can overshadow the local art scene.

Lee Kuan Yew’s famous dismissal of poetry as “a luxury we cannot afford” in the tumultuous 1960s extended to other forms of art as well. Fifty years later, Singapore is exceedingly stable and interest (and investment) in the arts is mushrooming.

Nowhere is this clearer than in the Singapore Art Museum, the epicenter of the nation’s contemporary art, which is currently undergoing a $90 million dollar refurbishment.

It’s due to reopen in three years with some phenomenal hyper-modern architecture and plenty of optimism for the future of the nation’s artistry.

While we eagerly await 2023, this interim is a great opportunity to explore the island’s creative nooks and crannies, the smaller galleries and niche exhibits that you might not think to visit otherwise. Below is a 12-hour crash course introduction to Singapore’s art scene, but you’re more than welcome to spread the itinerary out over several days or weeks if you want to delve deeper.

This article will only focus on painting, sculpture and other visual arts, as I’ll be covering local theater, film, literature and music later.

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10AM-1PM While hardly niche, the National Gallery is the obvious spot to start your day. Unsurprisingly, it devotes the bulk of its elegant space to Singaporean and Southeast Asian art. This is probably the most ‘typical’ art museum in the country, as it’s home to a vast collection of paintings from the 19th century to the present, but in addition to the firm focus on historical pieces, the National Gallery is wealthy with major contemporary works. The current exhibition, Suddenly Turning Visible, illuminates the connections between art and architecture in Singapore, as well as the role institutions played in the development of art in Southeast Asia in the 1970s and 80s.

Keep in mind that this is a large museum and exploring everything it has to offer could easily take up a whole day. I suggest visiting the website and honing in on the galleries that most excite you, so you can spend your time wisely.

1-4PM

4-7PM

Grab a bite to eat and hop in a taxi for the afternoon’s adventure. Home to over 8,000 pieces of Asian art and artifacts, the NUS Museum is well-worth the trek to the Clementi campus of the National University of Singapore. This museum is a particular treat for those interested in more academic approaches to art or the complex context surrounding the creation of it. Exhibits range from modern Singaporean visual artists to multi-disciplinary surveys of topics such as the salvation and conservation of public murals. The museum also offers fascinating talks, workshops and curatorial tours that explore the relationship between heritage, history and art.

If you’re more attracted to fresh pieces by present-day creators (or if you’re looking to pick up a few unique pieces for your home), head to Gillman Barracks. Built in 1936 as a British military encampment, today the compound is an enclave of contemporary galleries, restaurants and art events. Each gallery has its own emphasis – FOST Gallery presents work by up-andcoming Singaporean artists, Ota Fine Arts showcases new and experimental Japanese art, Sundaram Tagore Gallery focuses on artwork that explores the cultural exchange between Western and nonWestern styles, and so on.

Scattered throughout the island are myriad offbeat gems. Gajah Gallery on Keppel Road has been a staple of the local art scene since 1996. The Parkview Museum (currently setting up its new exhibition) has its own unexpected style. Supernormal on Kreta Ayer hosts workshops and experimental artwork, with a focus on performance and interaction. Whatever your taste, you’re bound to find something.

I personally suggest spending the late afternoon in the Bras Basah / Rochor area, arguably the incubator of Singapore’s future in the arts. The biggest player on the block is the Institute of Contemporary Arts, part of LASALLE College. Its five galleries showcase their students’ remarkable final projects along with curated international pieces. Nearby are more obscure hubs that are also not to be missed. 222+51 is a jewel box of dance studios, music societies and two notable galleries: Art Trove and The Private Museum. Dedicated to fostering greater interest in the arts, The Private Museum brings often-unseen private collections to the public. A short walk away, communal art space DECK aims to nurture photography enthusiasts through exhibitions, talks and a biannual festival. They also have a little café if your feet need a break.

7-10PM For those who prefer the marriage of aesthetics and function over more abstract artforms, the displays at The Red Dot Design Museum (open until 8pm) are sure to delight. Situated on the Marina Bay Waterfront Promenade, the museum describes itself as “the physical embodiment of the international Red Dot Design Award,” an annual honor bestowed by a jury of experts upon innovative and elegant products. As expected, the shop is a treasure trove of modern design, offering objects that are practical, whimsical, wearable, simple, adorable and sometimes all of the above. Of note is the section of items produced by Singapore designers, which range from jewelry to lamps to card games. Their cozy restaurant also features distinctly Singaporean treats, both traditional and modern.

Finish off a busy day with a meditative moment with art collective teamLab’s installation on the Dragonfly Lake at Gardens by the Bay, created in honor of Singapore’s bicentennial.

If you haven’t seen teamLab’s permanent exhibition Future World at the ArtScience Museum, I highly recommend it. The nighttime display at Gardens by the Bay will give you a taste of their signature blend of immersion and wonder: floating on the water are dozens of large egg-shaped lights that change color when touched, and when one ovoid is touched, it creates a ripple effect, sending an entrancing wave of bright hues washing through the rest.

Laura grew up in Tokyo, Singapore and New Jersey before majoring in Japanese Studies at Bard College, upper New York. Her fiction and non-fiction writing has appeared in The Shanghai Review, Thoughtful Dog Magazine and The Wall Street Journal. A voracious traveler, Laura has visited over 30 countries.

LIVING IN SINGAPORE 27

Exploring Singapore’s Secret

By Heidi Sarna

When we moved to Singapore 14 years ago, I was curious to learn about the little island from the get go. If you came across my article, Secret Singapore, in the October/November 2019 issue of Living in Singapore magazine, you’ll know that I knew there had to be more than shopping malls and apartment towers, though at first glance, I wondered where the old stuff was.Some of my very first encounters with “old Singapore,” even before I began taking walking tours with Geraldene Lowe-Ismail and reading Singapore history blogs, were thanks to not having a car.

After dropping my then 3-year-old twin boys at preschool on Fern Hill Road via taxi, I’d then walk back to our apartment on Nassim Hill. Intentionally meandering, I’d nose into side streets and amble into cul-de-sacs.

I excitedly spotted the black and white houses that seem to

28 LIVING IN SINGAPORE

lurk in every overgrown thatch of jungle. They were tucked away off Orange Grove and Nassim roads.

And nearby in Goodwood Park, wedged between Stevens and Scotts roads, a cluster of black and whites was hidden in plain view. I was enthralled. And so, the journey began.

My interest in old Singapore grew like a bamboo: fast and thick. I began hungrily exploring Singapore and continue to this day, often by bicycle with my friend Robin, who gamely puts up with my constant stops and photo taking. Robin is a pro at navigating Singapore’s network of park connectors and combined with my quest to discover more of old Singapore, we’re a secretSingapore-seeking tour de force.

On a recent East Coast ride, in the neighbourhoods of Katong and Joo Chiat on a bright sunny blue-sky morning, we made our way to Still Road, which runs

perpendicular to the parallel East Coast and Marine Parade roads.

Before the land reclamation projects of the 1960s transformed Singapore’s east coast, Marine Parade was the beachfront promenade that ran along East Coast Road. Private homes - some grand estates - dotted the shore.

One of the houses along Still Road, with lawns that reached the beach, is the former Karikal estate built by the rich Indian cattle merchant, Moona Kadir, Sultan in the early 1900s. (Kadir was born in Karikal in southern India.) It mixes classic Italianate, Victorian and Indian-inspired architecture, with arches, Corinthian columns, pilasters and ornate plaster moldings. Large enough for Kadir’s numerous wives and brood of children, an artificial lake and fountain were set amidst expansive gardens, where football matches were sometimes held.

Just after WWII, Kadir’s estate was sold to the Lee Rubber Company and turned into the 20-room Grand Hotel, which operated until 2000.

It’s now a conserved and restored property rented out to a pair of pre-schools. And it’s stunning.

Aside from the kick of spotting the grand century-old estate, it was fascinating to imagine the days when the sea lapped upon the shores of Singapore just beyond East Coast Road. Before Singapore began expanding its coastline in earnest in the 1960s, there were miles of beach and

seawalls were constructed to keep erosion and flooding at bay.

The old brick and stone walls had openings with stairs leading to the sand so swimmers, sunbathers and picnickers would have easy access to the cool waters of the ocean.

I had read about sections of crumbling seawalls in this area in blogs and websites, but until Robin and I got onto our bicycles and pedaled slowly along the north side of Marine Parade Road, just east of Still Road, did we see for ourselves.

Looking down at the path of a storm drain that ran between the road and the property lines, like a pair of detectives… there it was!

Amidst MRT construction and Singapore’s classic mash-up of old and new, a crumbly section of concrete and brick seawall survived with the stairs still intact.

Mission accomplished!

We then pedaled on along Marine Parade Road, soon turning left on Telok Kurau Road and then left again onto St. Patrick’s Road, to make our way back towards the western end of East Coast Road.

And what serendipity on this quiet suburban street - we happened upon a whole row of peach-colored spiral staircases, beautifully framed with fuchsia bougainvillea, picture-perfect against the deep blue sky.

These iconic concrete spiral staircases were often added to the backs of buildings in the early and mid 19th century to aid night

soil collectors getting to top floors, not to mention usefulness as a fire escape route and midnight trysts.

It’s rare to see a row of them, all in good condition and not hidden, at least in part, by walls or other construction.

Back on our seats, we rolled on in search of a little side road I hadn’t been to in years. I couldn’t remember the exact address, but knew it was a short lane off East Coast Road. I would know it when I saw it.

And there, in all its glory, was 150 East Coast Road. The edifice harbors a gorgeous string of pastel terrace houses from the 1920/30s raised on stilts, as was the style at the time. Before the massive land reclamation projects that transformed the area, this row of single-story homes were steps from the beach - which today is miles away! The houses were built on pillars to protect them from flooding during high tides and storms. The eclectic conserved houses, a marriage of Asian and western touches, are well looked after, painted brightly and framed with plants and flowers.

Yet another gem found if you slow down to smell the roses.

While the research for my book Secret Singapore is finally complete, my interest in exploring Singapore will never be. There’s always another side street to explore, another vestige of the old days to discover.

Heidi Sarna is a freelance writer and editor who has lived in Singapore for 14 years with her husband and twin sons. She’s the author of the book “Secret Singapore” (Jonglez Publishing), to launch later this year. When she’s not chasing down some secret something in a remote corner of Singapore, Heidi publishes QuirkyCruise. com, a compendium of articles and reviews about unusual small-ship river, expedition and sailing cruises.

LIVING IN SINGAPORE 29

living in singapore

Singapore Style

By Andrea McKenna Brankin

Since her school days, Marcela Karbaum has had a passion for dressing stylishly, combining certain pieces of clothing to make exciting outfits and designing something unique for friends. She realized early on, though, that in order to help them feel and look good, and look and take her passion further, she had to study in depth everything from color theory, to different body and face types, as well as understand the individuality of each person. It was from there on in that she became a style and image consultant.

From her studies in Mexico, she is now based in Singapore and is the founder and face of MK Image Consulting, where it makes her day to see the satisfied and joyful looks on the faces of her friends and customers after a makeover.

I spoke to her about her about the advice she gives to her clients about arranging their wardrobe for the Singapore climate.

How do you get your Singapore wardrobe ready in a country with no seasons?

Actually, it is pretty easy! You don’t need a huge wardrobe; you only need a few items that suit you and are functional in the tropics for everyday use and special occasions. Moreover, I place more importance on sustainable fashion and emphasize that owning a few items of good quality is preferable.

What’s the first step in figuring out which direction our closet should go in?

I recommend having an organized wardrobe.

Singapore doesn’t really have seasons, so twice a year, normally before holidays, take time to take out all your items and check each one of them. If they are stained or old fashioned, or they don’t fit you anymore, put them aside.

Basically, we are looking for things that you have not worn in the last six months. This way, you will only keep pieces in your wardrobe that make you feel great! If relocating or repatriating to a country with four seasons, do this before starting a new season.

30 LIVING IN SINGAPORE

What are the factors one should consider when choosing new clothes in Singapore?

Given the fact that Singapore does not have varying seasons, it is practical from an organizational point of view to wear the same type of garments all year. I always recommend having items that are easily washable and made out of natural or semi-natural fibres, such as cotton, linen, combed wool, viscose, rayon, etc.

These will make you perspire less and feel comfortable - ultimately your body will thank you!

What’s the best way to follow styles and still have timeless pieces? Can you do both?

Sure you can! This is something I always recommend: Buy less quantity, but focus on better quality garments.

There is no need to follow fashion to the letter, since nowadays almost everything is allowed. You can mix and match with prints, patterns, colors and so many things that it might seem a bit overwhelming at first. However, this will get easier once you to do it a few times and get to know your own style.

It is all about being creative, playing with accessories (belts, animal printed designs, necklaces and so much more) and using your imagination to make more out of what you already have. This will help you budget, but is also sustainable for our environment. Let’s not forget the most important thing: It’s a lot of fun!

Name three top accessories that stand out in Singapore?

I love to use accessories because, with little details, you can look stunning! My favorite ones are: A hat: It is important to protect your skin from the sun, but hats are also very stylish as they elevate

What are you top three tips for putting outfits together that work for each of these occasions — out with the kids, the working week, fitness sessions, a night on the town?

Out With the Kids • T shirts with Bermuda shorts, sport shoes • A light dress that fits well with open sandals • Tunics The Working Week • Trouser suit in a neutral colour combined with a white silk cotton shirt and accessories to highlight the outfit • Semi-formal trousers with a good quality fabric and a blazer • An elegant, simple, black dress Fitness Sessions • It depends on the sport, but comfortable shorts, a fun T-shirt and comfortable shoes your normal outfit to something more accented. I prefer those made out of natural straw with color tapes and fun motifs. Walking down the street with such a characterful hat, you will, for sure, turn heads!

• A pashmina: A pashmina not only looks great and adds a unique and colorful touch to your outfit, it is also essential in Singapore due to air conditioning - I always have one in my bag!

• A bag or purse: Choose something unique that suits your style, but where you can fit your most important items: go-to makeup item, keys, credit card and essential jewelry for when you need it. If you have fun with an outstanding purse, it can elevate your outfit to a new level. You can go from a plain, elegant purse, to an animal print pouch. Everything is allowed as long as you enjoy it and it adds that finishing touch to your look!

• Sunglasses: There are so many out there that you could buy a pair every day for the rest of your life and still not be halfway there! If you know the colors that suit you best, as well as the shape of your face, you can find amazing sunglasses that not only compliment your outfit, but also provide you with a cool look that will make you feel confident and stylish. Not to mention that protecting your eyes so close to the equator is paramount.

A Night on the Town • Exotic fabrics or printed tunics with a touch of drama.

Something outstanding and out of the box that guarantees all heads turn your way as soon as you make an entrance!

• Jumpsuit with exotic, but elegant, accessories, combined with a pashmina. As I mentioned before, don’t forget that in Singapore it can become quite chilly due to the cold air conditioning • A fancy blouse, put together with a pair of jeans or a skirt. You can even add a pair of leopard printed shoes, should you be keen on animal prints.

What does fashion and organization mean to you?

Fashion, for me is guidance. I like to take ideas, colors and trends that fit into my lifestyle and personality to create fun outfits for myself and my clients.

Organization, on the other hand, is an essential part of my life. Having a decluttered wardrobe makes me feel less stressed. It is important for me to be able to see at first glance what I own, to see what I can “work with” next.

If I see something I’m not using I give it away, as there are always people who are very happy to receive something “new”.

Contact Marcela at marcela@mk-imageconsulting.com Credit picture: Zebra jojo Photography

Andrea McKenna Brankin has been a writer and journalist for more than 25 years, covering business and lifestyle topics in the U.S., Europe and Southeast Asia. Hailing from Mystic, Connecticut (USA), Andrea now calls Chicago “home away from home.” She has lived in Singapore with husband Christopher and daughter Georgia since 2012.

LIVING IN SINGAPORE 31

Thailand:

A Smile and a Dream

By John S. Hamalian Thailand calls itself the “Land of Smiles”, and after just a few hours in this remarkable nation one can see the truth in this slogan. While no place on this good Earth is devoid of troubles, Thai people often appear to have a sense of inherent geniality. Even in the traffic choked streets of Bangkok, one cannot fail to see a happy and content look on the friendly faces of so many in this warm and beautiful land. Although Thailand has been somewhat stereotyped as the land of seedy shows, free spirited islands and lazy resort beaches, if one goes beyond the typical tourist spots, you will experience another side of Thailand – one that gushes with history, culture and fascination.

A Tale of Three Capitals The first Thai kingdom actually began all the way back in 1238 at Sukhothai, a seldom-visited city quite far away from Bangkok.

From the 14th to 18th centuries, the capital of Siam – as Thailand was then known to most of the outside world – was centered at the thenmodern and flourishing metropolis of Ayutthaya. Thai power was mighty in those days, encompassing much of present-day Laos, Cambodia and Myanmar. During that period, vicious and bloody conflicts between the Thais, Burmese and Khmer left a mark that can still be felt sometimes today.

In the late 1700s, the Burmese invaded Ayutthaya and destroyed it, forcing the remnants of a shattered empire to relocate down the hardy Chao Phraya river into what is now Bangkok, rebuilding the kingdom and launching a royal dynasty there that amazingly endures to this day. In 1932 ‘Siam’ was officially changed to the name the hearty 32 LIVING IN SINGAPORE

A Ghost from the Past

people of this fertile land have always called themselves – ‘Muang Thai’, or Thailand – which means “Land of the Free”. Although Thailand was occupied by Japan in World War II, Thais pride themselves on being one of the only nations in the entire region to have never succumbed to colonialism.

As Bangkok is the commercial, political and economic hub of Thailand, most journeys to the land of smiles begin and end here, but it is outside of the sprawling metropolis that one can perhaps best immerse themselves in this nation’s impressive history and culture.

Fortunately, there are several day trips from Bangkok to outlying areas that one can take. One of the finest is to Ayutthaya, despite being viscously attacked and partially destroyed, the ruins of which still exude the magnificence of a city that was home to one of IndoChina’s most modern civilizations, easily rivaling Paris or London in its day. Aside from Angkor Wat in Cambodia, Pagan in Myanmar and Yogyakarta in Indonesia, Ayutthaya is one of the most impressive and largely intact ancient cities I have seen in Southeast Asia. The old city contains vast stretches of temples,

palaces, monasteries and statues, the intricacy and craftsmanship of which could easily be compared with Mayan or Incan constructions.

Tall and wide, most of the temples have towering staircases that lead to yawning openings at their peaks, where worshiping and burial ceremonies used to take place. With little guarding to intrude, I climbed up those stairs just like a king might have centuries before.

I entered passages that seemed basically untouched for hundreds of years. One temple I was exploring had a horrible stench of ammonia just outside the main doorway. I was soon to discover the source: Bats! Thousands of the critters were flying around the upper part of the archway. Undeterred, a few of us intrepid types crept inside to find a central chamber that was surrounded by a circular hallway. Dark, narrow crevices led to some unknown end, so we eventually decided to turn back. But, for a while there we felt just like Indiana Jones on a real adventure.

The Buddha Within While enjoying the majesty of Bang Pa-In Summer Palace, a lovely palatial complex set in a serene lake garden only 20km from Ayutthaya, I watched monks quietly go about their business in one of the strangest temples in the world. This is Wat Niwet Thammaprawat temple, located on the fringes of Bang Pa-In and easily missed among the array of buildings that sweep its vast grounds. Even if you did happen across it, you could easily mistake it for a gothic cathedral, for it is the only Buddhist temple in Thailand that was designed in the guise of a European church, complete with stained glass windows, a gothic altar and a spire-topped dome. But make no mistake, this is a temple, and no less a Royal Temple, first class, one of only twentyfive in the country.

One strikingly evident part of Thai life is the prevalence of Buddhism in the nation. Thai people take religion very seriously and it pervades many aspects of their society. Nearly every Thai male becomes a monk, often just for short periods of time, at some point in his life. Thailand is surely one of the most outwardly Buddhist countries in the world, as evidenced by temples and shrines nearly everywhere you go. Many of the taxis I have been in have a little Buddha statue on top of the dashboard, some even burning incense. A typical Thai home will invariably contain a modest shrine where fresh flowers and food are placed on a regular basis to show respect for “The Enlightened One�.

The peaceful bliss disappears as I lie near the bridge over the River Kwai The wind whispers the voices of the brave the men who toiled, suffered and decayed.

A thousand hopes and a million cries, washed into the waters of the River Kwai.

Their tracks will forever be covered with their tears, the ground with their blood, and the air with their fears Why on earth did so many have to die?

Near the shores of the River Kwai.

- By John S. Hamalian

From Darkness to Light My final day trip from Bangkok was to the River Kwai (actually the Khwae Yai River), in Kanchanaburi, located a few hours outside the capital. Many people know this name due to the famous World War II movie, The Bridge On the River Kwai, but I had never realized the place is in Thailand due to its association with Burma. During the war, Imperial Japan, who had recently conquered Burma (presentday Myanmar), determined they needed a land supply route to facilitate its conquest of the region.

None of the roads available met the logistical requirements, so Tokyo made the fateful decision to build a long railway from Burma, straight through hilly, dense jungle, into the heart of Thailand. This ambitious passage became known as the Burma Railroad. To build it, they used around 60,000 Allied prisoners of war and more than 250,000 impressed civilian laborers from the region.

In one of the most remarkable but tragic construction feats in modern times, soldiers brutally coerced the prisoners to complete the project, which had been estimated to take 5 years, in only eighteen months.

Conditions were horrific and often deadly, with around 90,000 laborers and 13,000 POWs dying while building it, giving the line its grim nickname, the ‘Death Railway’.

Well, what does all of this have to do with the River Kwai, you may ask? Near the end of the Death Railway there was a crossing point via a bridge over the Kwai River (which actually was not called the Kwai river at that time, but that

34 LIVING IN SINGAPORE

is another story), unceremoniously named ‘bridge number 277’. Due to its strategic importance, the Allies tried to destroy the crossing, including runs by US Liberator bombers, and thus cut off the Empire’s critical supply route. After many bombing attempts, it was finally rendered unusable, a key victory in that part of the war effort.

The bridge was later reconstructed to serve as a war memorial and a remembrance to all those who perished there. As for me, while gazing at the remnants of Bridge 277 with a lone tear trickling down a somber cheek, I felt very proud to be an American that day.

Sitting along the banks of the Kwai on that serene sunny day I could not

help but be moved by the events that took place under my very feet only a few decades ago. I could almost hear the cries of the suffering men every time the wind kicked up. As if being a prisoner of war by a callous enemy was not bad enough, these unfortunates were forced into hard labor in a harsh and inhospitable environment. With the incessant heat and humidity in this part of the world, it is difficult to imagine even any modestly rigorous activity let alone toiling under a searing and unrelenting sun while starved, exhausted and diseased.

A quote from the River Kwai Museum states, “May peace always conquer violence”. From the ancient remnants of distant clashes, to the broken

hearts of recent ill, to a patient Buddha and everywhere in between, can a Land of Grins inspire a World of Peace?

Let us wish that the twinkling faces and gentle tranquility that embody much of this realm will be a shining beacon to help keep peace over this small, solitary planet that we all share together. May the sun always rise and the light shine strong for the land of smiles.

John is a US citizen and an avid explorer with a passion for travel journalism and photography. He has visited over 65 countries, including the entire Far East of Asia. He has written for the Singapore Straits Times, Shanghai Daily, The Armenian Mirror-Spectator, My Paper, The American Women’s Club of Korea and the in-flight magazine of Royal Bhutan Airlines.

By Lily Ong In travels and in life, things happen to throw a wrench in plans. The Paris protests scuppered a few meetings, so my daughter and I ended up on an adventurous detour through Macedonia.

I chose Macedonia for a reason.

Back in 2015, the Syrian refugee crisis prompted a deluge of migrants through Macedonia. I fundraised with my good Macedonian friend, Jivan, to put hats, scarves and mittens on the children refugees; among the items donated, was a jacket my daughter had received from her Auntie Megan for Christmas. As my daughter was too young to understand where her jacket was going to then, I thought this would be a good chance to show her the place.

True to our minimalist style, we arrived at the capital of North Macedonia with our two carry-ons.

Upon exit, it didn’t take us long to find my name scrawled across a holding placard in the sparse waiting crowd.

The drive to our apartment took more than half an hour. As it was late, there wasn’t much to see along the way except darkness. The road was well paved and made for a smooth ride.

In the morning, we woke to peeping sunlight that arrived too soon. Looking out the balcony, I saw the Stone 36 LIVING IN SINGAPORE

A I N O D E C A M H T R NO Bridge with its unmistakable viaduct made from a series of 13 semicircular arches that brilliantly allocate its mass and weight across a horizontal plane.

Stretching across the river Vardar, this ageless structure connects the new and old segments of Skopje, with Macedonia Square on one bank and the Old Skopje Bazaar on the other.

The bridge is so old that its age has grown into a debate over time. Some argue it was built in the 6th century after a catastrophic earthquake, still others insist it was built in the second half of the fifteenth century. The bridge was reportedly mined during World War II but was saved from demolition after the liberation of the city. Named for the crushed stone that built it, the Stone Bridge is a prominent symbol of Skopje as its survival through earthquakes, civil unrests and wars resonates the resilience of the Macedonian people.

On our way to breakfast after leaving the hotel, we passed under Gate Macedonia. This is a triumphal gate whose arch is dedicated to 20

years of Macedonian independence.

With interior rooms that function as shops and wedding spaces, this gate certainly beholds more than meets the eye. The glaring sun made our upward viewing an optical challenge but ornate carvings depicting recent a historical timeline can be seen extending across the white façade of the stately edifice.

As we walked to the city center, the commanding statue of a gallant warrior upon an equally valiant looking horse greeted us. Sitting atop a high pillar in the middle of a fountain fortified by bronze soldiers and lion was none other than Madedonia’s late king, Alexander the Great, and his horse, Bucephalus. Succeeding his father to the throne at the age of 20, Alexander was known as one of history’s most victorious military commanders who held a matchless record of being undefeated in battle.

Erected in 2011 as a symbol of national pride, the equestrian statue, however, has invited much criticism from Greece who insisted that

Former residents of America but currently based in Singapore, Lily and her daughter, Tess, traverse the world regularly as a mother-daughter team. Lily is involved in media and diplomacy while Tess is a kindergartener and the only one known to study the safety instruction cards before every flight.

Alexander was an exclusive part of Hellenic heritage who had led the Greek in the triumphant conquest of Persia. So coveted is his name that beyond these two countries, Alexander also has twenty other cities named after him, including Alexandria in Egypt.

The standing patio heaters of a local restaurant enticed us with little effort and we soon found ourselves in its toasty indoors. We ordered prženi lepinja, a common local breakfast dish that reminded us of French toast except it came stuffed with cheese and absent of syrup.

Our request for powdered sugar was surprisingly acceded to albeit with bewildered looks from the waitress.

Fully charged, we strolled our way across the Stone Bridge to the old part of the city. The tantalizing aroma of roasting chestnut drifting in the air certainly teased us in no subtle ways and almost immediately, we wished we had waited to have breakfast on this side of town.

We’ve never seen more statues in one city; as complex as their details is the history behind them. There were statues of mothers nursing and soothing their young - an apparent homage to motherhood. There was a statue of old beggar in shabby rags whose fraught expression invoked as much sadness and contemplation as the living beggars about. There was even a statue of

a woman readying for a plunge as feet from a preceding diver could be seen protruding from the water before her. Again, stories about the statue differ, but one centered on a Yugoslavian girl who had swum across the British Channel in 1969.

Seen by some as an imprudent use of public funds, Skopje’s statues were an eyebrow-raising €260million attempt started in 2008 to spruce up the city after years of negligible investment in aesthetics. There were others who opine the statues were no more than an effort to rewrite the country’s history by laying claims to Alexander the Great, and Cyril and Methodius, the two missionary brothers credited with devising the Glagolitic alphabet, as all three of whom were in fact non-Macedonian ethnically and linguistically.

More importantly though, the statues were said to fuse a national ego bruised from two decades of challenges in entering international institutions due to a naming dispute

over territory. Apparently, Greece was worried that Macedonia might not only claim Greek patrimony for itself, but also the Greek region of Macedonia.

The statue that stood out for my daughter and I was one of an estranged family. “What’s this one about?” asked my daughter.

I heaved a deep sigh and replied sorrowfully, “It looks to be a family being separated at the border.”

“What’s a border?” she pressed.

“It’s where one country ends and another begins.” I gave her another solemn answer.

She did not appear content so I committed to sharing more.

According to local sources, Macedonians who supported the communists in Greece’s civil war populated what is now northern Greece. When they took over Athens, Soviet Joseph Stalin and British Winston Churchill agreed they had gone too far so Britain intervened and pushed the communists back.

Many Macedonians were sadly massacred and parents parted with their children in hope the latter would have a better chance at survival.

Even though some of the details clearly flew over her head, my daughter was able to conclude that while we are fortunate enough to explore and experience, others over time have had to flee their motherland against their will.

Continuing our trek into the Old Bazaar, I found it to be highly reminiscent of Istanbul where I used to live, as it is the second largest

LIVING IN SINGAPORE 37

a gigantic burger patty, fries topped with cheese and a bun of significant circumference. Though, seemingly not out of the ordinary, I would learn later that what we had was the shopska salad, named after a small tribe that lives in Northeast Macedonia, West Bulgaria and Southeast Serbia, and the patty was pljeskavica; a flavorful blend of pork and beef, popular comfort food in the region. As shockingly good as the food was, the bill came to MKD 80 - less than SGD2.

As promised, we stopped back at the café on our way out and ordered a piece of traditional Baklava along with tea served in a tulip-shaped glass. While the tea set was Turkish, the proprietor was Albanian and he was quick to inform me, beaming with pride, of a famous woman of Albanian-descent born in Skopje: Mother Theresa. In 2016, when Mother Theresa was made an official saint of the Roman Catholic Church, there was no prouder city than her birthplace of Skopje.

The longstanding 27-year struggle of North Macedonia to attain an internationally recognized name serves a stark reminder of what we take for granted in life.

Indeed, though voyages frequently conjure up images of exotic food, adventurous excursions and retail pleasure, the study of each country’s historical pieces – especially those expunged from school textbooks – can greatly enrich one’s travel experience. While visiting this magnificent country can be a rewarding endeavor in itself, it is in studying its history that one can come close to understanding what it means to be Macedonian.

Ottoman bazaar in Europe after the Grand Bazaar. Beyond predominant Ottoman architecture, a good scattering of mosques and people donning dimije (traditional baggy trousers gathered tightly at the ankles) and jubba (a loose coat), one can even find hotels housing Turkish baths in this part of town. Even though there was no lack of souvenir shops catering to tourists, the presence of ample residents here lent it a very authentic feel.

All erected to the same height, the shops carried goods that range from handicrafts to handbags, gowns to jewelries and most shop owners also understood sufficient English to grasp what we were asking for. We passed a corner café that carried a vast array of the sweet pastry, Baklava, and pledged to the eager owner that we would stop by on our way out for dessert.

As we resumed our jaunt further inwards, we stumbled upon a mottled section made up of makeshift stalls covered with tents; this was the ‘department’ where Swiss army knives, tobacco products, leather wallets and Rolex watches too discounted to be genuine, sprawled in diversity across the wooden display counters.

It’s hard to believe we would be ready to eat again so soon but the friendly and warm smile of an elderly vendor grilling meat drew us into his small restaurant. I pointed to the sizzling meat on the grill and he nodded affably.

Our order soon arrived in the form of a colourful salad, Photos by Lily Ong

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food & drink

Singapore’s Finer Fare

By Julian Chua

Kaya Toast with Kopi A Quintessential Singaporean Breakfast

Whether you are an expat or tourist, getting involved in the foodie scene in Singapore is a must. This tropical paradise is a food haven that is home to diverse cultures, races and religions, making this city-state a multicultural hotpot, the influence of which brings a staggering amount of food variety to seduce the taste buds of even the most seasoned of gourmands. From simple comfort food, to rich and hearty dishes, here are our top five recommendations for experiencing Singaporean fare.

Otak-Otak

Murtabak

Classic Peranakan Dish

Hearty Indian Pancake

‘Peranakan’ is an ethnicity defined by its genealogical descent from the first waves of Chinese settlers in the Malay Peninsula and Indonesian Archipelago, and nyonya – a hybrid blend of Chinese and Malay cooking techniques, ingredients and spices – refers to the cuisines that originate from this heritage. Eaten as a snack or as a side in a rice meal, Otak-Otak is a classic grilled or steamed nyonya dish that comprises mashed fish fillet, chopped onions, coconut milk, herbs and spices, bound together with egg and tapioca starch and wrapped in banana leaves. Perfect as an appetizer or a light snack.

Indian food is an integral part of Singapore’s food culture and the hearty stuffed pancake, Murtabak, is a popular menu feature in any Indian restaurant. Dubbed “the king of roti prata” and sometimes seen as Asia’s answer to the Mexican tortilla, the huge pancake is filled with either chicken, beef or mutton, mixed with aromatic Indian spices and herbs, chopped onion and all fried to perfection. Loosen your belt and forget the calorie intake!

In Singapore, having a cup of “Kopi” or coffee with toast, is a cherished meal in the morning for many locals. This is no ordinary toast, though! Kaya toast is toasted bread with butter and Kaya; a jam made from eggs, sugar, coconut milk and pandan – a herbaceous tropical plant that grows abundantly in Southeast Asia, with leaves similar to palm leaves and a sweet aroma.

Pair it with soft boiled eggs for a wholesome breakfast!

Nasi Lemak A Malay Favorite This highly popular dish from the Malay community is widely enjoyed by all Singaporeans. Commonly eaten for breakfast, though served day-long, the dish has a distinctive, flavorsome savory rice that is cooked in coconut milk and pandan leaves, accompanied by deepfried fish or chicken wings, fried anchovies and peanuts, eggs, cucumber slices, and the regional spicy chili paste, “Sambal”.

Hainanese Chicken Rice Hainan Province’s Finest Export This staple dish originates from Hainan Province in China and can be commonly found across many food outlets in Singapore. It consists of fragrant rice cooked in chicken broth infused with ginger and pandan leaves, served with succulent poached, steamed or roasted chicken.

Although, at face value, this meal may seem simple, make no mistake – each chef has their own recipe and set of secret ingredients to achieve the best possible rice, and the ultimate aim is to make it tasty enough to eat by itself. Enjoy with sliced cucumber, light soy sauce, chopped cilantro, a sprinkle of sesame oil and garlic-chili dipping sauce for the chicken.

Julian is an entrepreneur who runs several businesses that deal with consulting and brokerage in Singapore.

He combines his love for food and writing with his business experience to provide readers with a balanced perspective on the F&B scene here in Singapore. For the past decade, he has been a freelance writer for NTUC Lifestyle, Business Times, Spin Asia, and Time Out.

The Japanese Tradition of Izakaya in Singapore

By Asif R. Chowdhury

S

ingapore is one of the best cities in the world for experiencing and enjoying world cuisine and it does particularly well when it comes to fare from Asia. One of the highlights in international gastronomy on the island is from Japan, and it offers some of the best Japanese restaurants outside of the country. Among the many Japanese restaurants here, there is a sizeable number of Izakaya-style restaurants.

Izakaya are actually more than just restaurants - they are a Japanese tradition that dates back hundreds of years. Most of the locals and expatriates frequenting the Izakaya here perhaps are unaware of their rich history.

The heritage of the Izakaya dates back to the Edo period from 1603 to 1868. Under the rule of Tokugawa Shogunate, devoid of hundreds of years of past feudalism, the Japanese economy began to flourish.

During this period, the famous Tokaido route was established between the new capital Yedo (present Tokyo) and the old capital Kyoto. There were fifty-three stations or stopping points along the 514km of the Tokaido road, made famous by the paintings of Japanese artist, Utagawa Hiroshige (1797-1858), easily recognizable today from their overuse in many Japanese calendars and souvenirs.

40 LIVING IN SINGAPORE

As merchants would routinely travel this road, many business establishments, such as inns and sake shops, began to pop up in these stations to serve the weary and the tired travelers. These inns and sake shops came to be known as Izakayas. The word Izakaya stems from ii (pronounced as long e) meaning ‘to stay’ and sake ya (or sakaya for short) or sake shop.

They have steadily gained popularity since then and have become intrinsic to Japanese tradition.

An exact English translation of Izakaya is difficult to find; the Western equivalent would be a ‘tavern’ or ‘gastropub’, although with respect to the atmosphere, perhaps a German ‘biergarten’ comes closest. Historically, and even today, most Izakaya have red paper lanterns placed in front of the entrance making them relatively easy to identify. Because of this, Izakaya are also known as Akachochin (red lantern).

Once inside, and contrary to what is quintessentially a very quiet and disciplined Japan, an Izakaya has a boisterous atmosphere, where enjoying a variety of hearty culinary delights and drinks typical to Japan is a very social occasion. They are often the base for Japanese sarariman (or “salaryman”, a term used for salaried white-collar Japanese workers) and office workers to mingle. The establishments are also an acceptable place to become uninhibited, so as the night rolls on and the drinking continues, the patrons’ honne (‘true self’ or ‘feeling’) slowly emerges from their Japanese indomitable tatemae (‘projected self-image’ or ‘feeling in public’). This state of ‘uninhibition’ for most Japanese is extremely atypical under most circumstances; but it is deemed to be very Japanese while inside an Izakaya.

In a country where hardly anyone speaks without a whisper, the noise level in an Izakaya can be deafening - and it’s absolutely fine! It is also not uncommon to strike up a conversation with the people in your next table, rarely done on other types of restaurants in Japan.

Like many things in Japan, Izakaya also have a certain etiquette which is relatively simple to follow. Once guests get seated, they are handed oshibori (wet towels) to wipe their hands. The attendant will bring

some small snacks and appetizers known as otoshi – in some cases it is added to the bill in lieu of an entrance fee. The typical custom is to order beer first and start the drinking process with ‘kampai’ (‘cheers’ in Japanese), before ordering food, then beer is typically followed by Japanese sake or shochu.

Ordering the food is continual throughout the evening. Typically, guests will order a first round of food items and then as the night unfolds, order additional rounds as the evening goes on. Food portions are usually not very large

Asif is part of the executive management at a global semiconductor company and has written for various trade journals. Asif spent four years as an expatriate in Tokyo, Japan in business development, which led him to travel extensively over the country.

He currently lives in Singapore with his wife and son, while his daughter is studying for a BSc at Purdue University, Indiana.

and servings are intended to be shared. It is customary to have a bowl of soba noodles or ochazuke (green tea poured over cooked rice with various Japanese pickles) at the end of the meal.

Some Izakaya offer special services such as tabehodai (all you can eat) and/or nomi-hodai (all you can drink) early in the evening, especially during the weekdays. As with similar places, guests may pay a fixed price for ordering as much food and drink as they want. However, choices are typically limited to a set menu for both food and drink, and there is usually a two to three-hour time limit for this.

In the last decade or so, Izakaya have gained international popularity and have cropped up in many big cities such as New York, San Francisco, Hong Kong and of course, Singapore.

Many of them here are very authentic, sourcing many of their ingredients from Japan. Hokkaido Izakaya, located in Japan Food Town at Wisma Atria in Tanjong Pagar provides a good choice of Japanese food and sake along with a jovial atmosphere. For a wider food selection there is the Shunjuu Izakaya located at Robertson Quay, as well as Izakaya Niningashi in Chinatown Complex. The look and feel of the Izakaya Niningashi menu is especially impressive as the menu is as close to a traditional Japanese Izakaya menu as you can get. Shukuu Izakaya and Sake Bar, located in Stanley Street, offers a great selection of Japanese sake, as well as an excellent Izakaya experience. However, my favorite is Tomo Izakaya in Clarke Quay; not only is the food good, but the inside layout and dĂŠcor is highly reminiscent of any Izakaya in Japan.

While most of the Izakaya in Singapore can provide an authentic atmosphere and certainly great food selection, there is still nothing quite like visiting an Izakaya in Japan, especially in one of the more popular sarariman hang-out districts of Tokyo such as Shimbashi, Shinjuku or Shibuya.

Make the experience a must as part of your next trip’s itinerary.

LIVING IN SINGAPORE 41

health & wellness

Feeding the “Gut Brain”: How to Use Prebiotics, Probiotics, and Supplements to Your Advantage

By Amanda Lim It was in the 2015 book GUT by Dr. Giulia Enders that I first encountered the concept of the “gut brain” in my research as a practicing nutritionist.

Immediately, I was intrigued.

The idea that there is a gutbrain axis – that is, a series of biochemical signals that connect the gastrointestinal (GI) tract with the central nervous system (CNS) – was new to me, and having worked with so many clients with presenting GI symptoms such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), Crohn’s disease and other autoimmune and inflammatory issues, it made so much sense. The fact that gut flora, which are the complex community of bacteria and other microorganisms that populate our digestive tracts, are linked to a host of mental and physical issues far beyond the GI tract is worth investigating.

So why is talking about our guts and bowels often so taboo in the wellness and nutrition community?

I know plenty of personal trainers that will grill a client about every food she ate or the details of every workout he did in a given week, but will then shy away from asking if the client had regular bowels each day. Some nutritionists will accept a client’s own assessment of their problems at face value (“I’m gluten intolerant”) rather than looking deeper into whether it’s a gut flora imbalance that is causing gastric distress instead of a particular food sensitivity.

When I give corporate talks about

nutrition, I usually start with an introduction to the basics – eating a diverse variety of fresh, whole foods; the difference between fats, carbohydrates, and proteins; and how much caloric fuel you need for your particular health goals.

As soon as that’s out of the way, I make sure to address gut health as the next most important thing to consider for lifelong health – and this is the point at which I tend to get the most quizzical looks and confused or shocked faces.

The idea that taking a high-quality probiotic supplement could be as important as, say, reducing overall sugar intake or counting calories is often met with surprise. The fact that you actually have to work on repairing your gut health after a course of antibiotics – and that the more courses you undergo, the more your gut flora will suffer – is new news.

And science has shown us that no matter how the relationship works (exact pathways between GI and CNS are the subjects of continued study), good mental health is related to stronger gut health and vice versa.

The best news of all? Improving your gut health doesn’t have to be another full-time job.

There are simple things you can do on a daily, weekly and even yearly basis to improve your baseline gut health and enjoy the benefits of healthy digestion. First, easiest, and most importantly, take a high-quality probiotic supplement daily. This supplement should have at least 1 billion colony forming units (the live, refrigerated kind are often of the better quality) and contain the genus Lactobacillicus, Bifidobacterium and/or Saccharomyces. You can also customize your probiotics to your specific health concerns; for example, if you suffer from constipation, you may want to also try the strains B.

longum and S. cerevisiae to help.

Should you not choose a probiotic supplement or capsule, you can also get these healthy bacteria from fermented foods, such as kimchi, kombucha, sauerkraut, yogurt, kefir and miso. My caveat on food-based probiotics (versus the pure capsules) is this: Make sure you’re not trading off a huge serving of sugar just to get the probiotic benefit of the food. Homemade, live-fermented versions of the above foods are a better choice than processed or flavored/sweetened choices you might see at a convenience store – though local spots like Little Farms and Scoop Wholefoods carry great options.

Second, strive to include more prebiotic whole foods in your daily diet. Prebiotics are those foods that act as “fertilizer” for the healthy bacteria in your gut, allowing the “good guys” to multiply freely. Some readily available prebiotic foods include garlic, leeks, asparagus, oats, apples, bananas, flaxseed and seaweed. I recommend that clients take at least one of these foods per day at first, aiming to get at least one of these foods per meal whenever possible.

Third, consider giving yourself digestive rest in the form of intermittent fasting, a 24-hour fasting day, or simply putting more time in between meals, such as eating dinner earlier, to allow your body a break from the work of breaking down and assimilating food. Burgeoning research suggests that fasting can improve gut health, reduce the effects of oxidative stress on the body and boost immunity.

Whether it’s skipping breakfast, taking a whole day off from eating, or simply eliminating between-meal snacks, make sure to consult your doctor about whether fasting is a viable option for improving your health.

Finally, ensure you do the repair

Amanda is a certified trainer and nutritionist and director of Singapore-based fitness consulting firm Peak Health.

With over a decade of experience in the health and wellness industries, Amanda has coached and transformed over 200 individual clients, and consulted for large multi-national companies. She has also contributed to fitness publications such as SELF magazine and SHAPE.com.

42 LIVING IN SINGAPORE

International Counselling & Psychology Centre

Continuing a tradition of community-based services with 40 years of experience in Singapore and the region

ICPC counsellors and psychologists work with individuals, children, adolescents, couples and families to address psychological health and wellness.

Lissy A. Puno, MA

Counselling Psychologist Certified Imago Relationship Therapist

Sarah Haas, MSW Counsellor / Psychotherapist

Richard Logan, MSocSc

Counsellor / Psychotherapist Certified Imago Relationship Therapist

Rachel Williams, DipPsy Counsellor / Psychotherapist

Miranda Ledesma, MA Counsellor

360 Orchard Road. #06-08 International Building, Singapore 238869

+65 6734 6463

www.intlcounselling.com • connect@intlcounselling.com

work necessary after an illness, a course of heavyduty antibiotics, or a diagnosis of GI distress, such as food poisoning, leaky gut, or IBS. Though the human body is remarkable at fixing problems and rebuilding its broken parts, it is not a bad idea to use simple strategies, like eliminating sugar for a couple weeks after a yeast infection, to rebalance the bacteria in your body. Taking collagen-rich homemade bone broth and eating some resistant starch, such as raw cashews or unripe bananas, can also help in the process of healing a gut in transition.

If you’ve been noticing negative changes to your energy, bowel movements, exercise performance, mood, or simply that something “isn’t quite right” in your body, it may be time to shine a light on the inner workings of what Dr. Enders calls our “most underrated” organ – I have a “gut feeling” you will be glad you did.

By Dr. Charu Narayanan WHAT ARE THE EFFECTS OF A POOR BODY IMAGE?

By Dr Charu

As the parent of a teenager, I have watched her pose for photographs on Instagram at our family outings and hankering after clothing brands that her friends wear. It is all about fitting in; looking a certain way. Many of us notice our pre-teens and teens becoming more conscious of how they look or dress, and adopting or trying new diets and exercise regimes. A small proportion who are more vulnerable or do not ‘fit the bill’ in that peer group can show the first signs of a poor body image – built on their feelings and what others project to them.

As a doctor in the Singapore expat setting, I see body image as an issue in children attending our clinic in addition to eating disorders. We can conjecture about reasons for this – high achieving parents, exposure to peers from varying cultures and nationalities putting pressure on being a certain shape or size, and the digital era they live in exerting constant input from the internet and social media.

Resilience and positive influences at home can protect these children.

Unfortunately for some, poor body image permeates their being and existence causing them to suffer with low self-esteem, mood disorders and eating disorders. In this article I address some common questions surrounding the issue.

44 LIVING IN SINGAPORE

WHAT IS A HEALTHY BODY IMAGE AND WHAT ISN’T? Body image is a multidimensional concept consisting of how we perceive, think, feel and act towards our bodies. It is an impression that is formed by self-observation and also noting the reaction of others.

A positive image is when one feels happy and satisfied with one’s body, accepts and appreciates it. A negative body image implies that one is unhappy with their appearance and wants to change their shape, size or a particular part of their body that they dislike.

A poor body image often means that individuals are unable to enjoy life to the fullest – they avoid seeing other people, may shy away from relationships or not want to treat themselves to something as simple as a haircut.

They may either avoid exercise, or over exercise and may have lost the enjoyment associated with it.

There is so much focus on the body that strengths and qualities are forgotten. Irritability, selfcontempt and social isolation are all possible consequences of under valuing oneself. Often, the symptoms persist into adulthood.

Low self-esteem and feelings of inferiority due to basing one’s selfworth on physical appearance alone can trigger eating disorders.

Unhealthy eating and over exercising/purging are aimed at attaining that perfect body which they may or may not achieve, often at the cost of unhappiness.

Being resilient protects against development of an eating disorder.

‘Body Dysmorphic Disorder’ is the extreme end of the spectrum where one sees a distorted body shape/size/part. This is linked to anxiety, depression or self-harm.

WHY IS A POSITIVE BODY IMAGE IMPORTANT? We know that if one feels good about their body, it results in good selfesteem, better mental health and a balanced approach to healthy eating and exercise. It is one of the most important protective factors against development of eating disorders.

A positive self-image goes hand in hand with high self-esteem. Selfesteem determines happiness and well-being throughout life.

A further key area of positive image is self-acceptance. This makes one more likely to be comfortable with how they look and less susceptible to societal and/or media pressure to look a certain way.

A healthy and balanced approach to food and exercise is easier when we’re in tune with our bodies and respond to its needs.

Dr. Charu Narayanan is a UK trained GP based at IMC Katong. She is participating in a talk as part of IMC’s Talking Teens series on ‘Body Image, Eating Disorders and Nutrition’. Go to Internatianal Medical Clinic website for details.

WHAT SYMPTOMS AND SIGNS IN MY CHILD WOULD RAISE CONCERN ABOUT A NEGATIVE BODY IMAGE: A child may be self-critical of their body shape, size or a particular body part. They may obsess over weight loss or constantly compare their body with others.

Your child/teen may avoid going out or participating in an activity due to how he or she feels about their body. They may not want to try out new things due to this.

Change in personality - seeming disturbed or withdrawn; spending long hours on the internet or social media.

Low mood, irritability and appearance of an eating disorder – avoiding food, over exercising or associating food with feelings of guilt or shame are alarm bells.

WHAT CAN BE DONE TO TREAT OR IMPROVE BODY IMAGE PROBLEMS? The role of a parent is fundamental. Puberty can be a time of great turmoil; listening actively to how your child feels about their physical changes and reassuring them if they appear confused is a good way to start. Highlight the strengths and qualities they display; for example, being sporty and how that defines them rather than how they look. Encouraging acceptance of fixed genetic traits such as color, build or facial features and helping them to change the way they perceive themselves is an effective technique to help the child build confidence and self-esteem. Discourage comparisons with others and emphasize that each of us is unique and special, with respect for diversity.

A balanced approach to diet and physical activity rather that dieting fads by the parents sets a good example for children to follow. Weight talk and teasing should be avoided.

Discussion may be needed around the unrealistic images and impressions received from social media and on the internet. Limiting access is advised.

Classroom based programs for young teens focusing on media literacy, boosting self-esteem and peer support have shown to be of benefit.

Large scale programs seem to be focused on obesity and can misfire with messages on optimal weight alone. More work is required on a balanced approach so as not to damage body image in the process.

FACTORS THAT CAN CAUSE A NEGATIVE BODY IMAGE: Internalization of various external factors in vulnerable individuals influences how they see and perceive themselves. Perfectionist, high achieving people who often compare themselves to others are at risk.

Important external factors include: • Family environment is known to play a big role in shaping one’s body image - maternal influence seems to be particularly strong in the case of daughters. Weight talk or dysfunctional eating patterns observed in a parent can negatively affect body image, whereas a family that models healthy eating and exercise patterns contribute positively.

• Age and gender are a factor. Body image is usually shaped in late childhood and adolescence with girls being more prone than boys.

However, the symptoms may well persist into adulthood.

• Attitude of peers; for example, weight related bullying, fat calling and friends who over emphasize appearance and negative body perception may trigger beliefs about having an ‘imperfect’ body.

• Social media, internet, magazine and reality TV shows are all sources of pressure for young people to look ‘perfect’ and conform to a ‘lean ideal’ prevalent in the West. Many don’t realize that images in magazines and social media are photoshopped or digitally altered, and some of the featured people may have used hazardous medication or cosmetic surgery to look the way they do. Many may suffer mental health issues themselves.

• Being overweight or obese increases the risk of body dissatisfaction.

• Sexual abuse is linked to a negative body image.

WHAT CAN A MOTIVATED CHILD DO TO HELP THEMSELVES? The following are key:

messages

• Being kind to yourself – focus on all that you can do and not on your physical looks alone! Looks are temporary and will eventually fade away. Your qualities will stay with you.

• Be aware of the false images that are often seen on screens and on social media.

• Surround yourself positive people.

with

• If you feel that you are dissatisfied with your body or are developing unhealthy eating or exercise habits, you can access help to deal with the issue. If you feel that you can trust a parent, friend, teacher or another adult, do so. Specialized psychologists are out there to assist with changing negative selfperception and behavior.

WHAT HELP IS THERE IN SINGAPORE? In

Singapore,

resources

available are as below: Your family physician. A conversation with your doctor who can make as assessment, screen for co-existing problems such as depression and refer to a psychologist if appropriate.

• Aware helpline: 1800-7745935, open weekdays from 3pm to 9.30pm — General counselling or emotional support for young women in need.

• Twinkle Friend, by the Singapore Children’s Society: 1800-2744-788 or chat online at www.twinklefriend.com.

• Department of Psychology Service at KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital.

Call 6294-4050.

LIVING IN SINGAPORE 45

health & wellness Is your child getting enough sleep?

By Vivienne Scott If your child isn’t sleeping well it can affect the whole family. Sleep is known to be important for everyone’s general health and wellbeing but it is especially important for children and teenagers. Research has linked lack of sleep and poor quality of sleep to difficulties with learning, managing weight, low mood and maintaining good mental health.

What happens when we sleep?

DO:

We still don’t fully know the answer to this question but we do know that we need it. Sleep is vital for allowing our bodies to:

• Keep bedrooms as quiet, calm places and separate to areas used for energetic play or focused study during the day

• Grow and repair cells needed to repair injury and fight infection and illness • Turn new learning into long term memories – particularly important when studying for exams

• Establish a bedtime routine that starts an hour before going to sleep • Read or listen to stories or relaxing music

• Relax and replenish physical energy for the next day

• Try relaxation or mindfulness activities

• Release hormones that help maintain a healthy • Concentrate better and be more aware of our surroundings

• Have a bath or shower before bed (the drop in body temperature after causes drowsiness)

• Maintain a positive mood and sociability

• Have dim lighting • Keep a cool room temperature

If you recognize any of the behaviors listed below in your child, it may be a sign they are not getting enough sleep: • Difficulty getting up in the morning • Difficulty paying attention • Falling asleep or napping during the day

• Minimize conversation and attention if children get up through the night; quietly take them back to their own bed • Limit long lie-ins and late nights to one hour later than usual at weekends to avoid a ‘jetlag’ effect on Mondays

• Seeming irritable, anxious or depressed • Impulsive behavior

DON’T:

• Lack of energy

• Discuss any worries or concerns with your child before bed (have a set time protected in the morning or after dinner)

• Clumsiness or poor coordination • Excessive use of computer games, mobile phones, or TV after going to bed • Sleeping much longer or more frequently at weekends.

How much sleep does my child need?

Age

Hours of Sleep

1-12 months

14-15 (mostly at night)

1-3 years

12-14 (1-2 hours daytime naps)

3-6 years

10-12 (all at night time)

7-12 years

10-11

12-18 years

8-9

18 +

7-9

• Start any exciting, energetic or stimulating activities before bed • Allow screen time or TV in the hour before bed time • Allow children to sleep in parents’ bed By school age, children should not be napping.

It may take time for your child to settle into a regular sleep routine but consistency is key.

Consider keeping a sleep diary for a week. Take note of when your child goes to sleep, how many hours they sleep and how sleepy they feel during the day. If you have concerns about your child’s sleep you should speak with a health professional.

Vivienne is an educational psychologist with extensive experience in assessing and responding to a diverse range of mental health and additional support needs for children and families. She regularly provides workshops and training opportunities for parents and educators to increase their capacity to manage children’s and their own wellbeing needs while living in Singapore.

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education Empower and Empathize Supporting Your Child Through the College Applications Process

By Andy Lee As your child embarks on the stressful college admissions process, you and many other parents may feel just as lost and anxiety-ridden as the applicant.

Watching your loved ones jump over so many seemingly impossible hurdles and face so many uncertainties and potential disappointments can render you feeling helpless. Fortunately, there are many proactive steps you can take to make the university admissions process more manageable, and even fun, for you and your child.

1. Set Goals and Expectations Together: Many students are overwhelmed by the admissions process because they are afraid of disappointing their parents. Parents and students should work closely together to set their college goals and expectations. While parents usually have good intentions, they should not impose their preferences on their child. Beyond rankings, pay attention to other factors, such as program offerings, location, post-graduation outcomes and other relevant elements to find the best fit for your child. When push comes to shove, parents should defer to their child when it comes to deciding on schools and majors. After all, your child is the one going to college.

2. Become an Empathetic Listener: Parents often instinctively offer suggestions when their children are facing challenges. Instead of offering unsolicited advice, try to become a more active and empathetic listener. You should suppress your urge to make snap judgements and offer solutions. Instead, strive to put yourself in the shoes of your children and listen to their concerns intently. In many cases, your children are just looking for a good listener, rather than a troubleshooter. Instead of doling out advice, consider offering encouragement. If you are constantly fixing your children’s problems, they will never be able to overcome their own challenges when they are on their own in college.

3. Remind and Reaffirm: The college application process is riddled with an ostensibly endless barrage of deadlines. There are different registration deadlines for different standardized examinations. To make matters even more confusing, there are different application submission deadlines for different schools. Collaborate with your child to search and record all the various deadlines on an easily accessible document and send him or her a friendly reminder before a major deadline is approaching. Beyond reminders, you should also send out reaffirmations. When your child is overwhelmed, reaffirm your love and support. Many students mistakenly connect their self-worth with their academic performance. If your child doesn’t know that your love is unconditional, make sure you tell him or her directly and frequently.

As your child faces the inevitable challenges and attendant stress associated with the college admission process, you must realize that you have an essential role to play. By assuming the role of a confidant and cheerleader, the college application process can serve as a powerful medium to strengthen and deepen your relationship with your child.

Andy is a a seasoned American university and boarding school admissions consultant with nearly a decade of experience. He is a graduate of Columbia and Cornell and has provided comprehensive educational counseling to over 100 students, many of whom have gone on to attend institutions like Columbia, Cornell, Penn, Berkeley, UCLA, Georgetown, NYU and USC.

LIVING IN SINGAPORE 47

Build a Cohesive Team with Cultural Awareness

business

By Marc Servos Let’s suppose you are part of an international project team working with colleagues from other countries. Initially, you may wonder about social norms when greeting people, and how and when to exchange business cards.

Sometime after gauging protocol, you may notice different styles of conducting business, both in the office and with clients, each being common practice within a particular culture.

Within these scenarios, we see how critical cultural awareness, often referred to as Cultural Competence, becomes in order to conduct business activities with those of other cultures. This is especially critical in an international hub, such as Singapore, given the diversity within the cultural mix, not to mention the sheer volume of people within that mix. If not observed, these and other differences can not only damage the cohesiveness of teamwork, they can also have similar effects in a vendor/client relationship.

Cross Cultural Challenges Some common situations that arise could include these examples: Social Approach - some executives prefer to use some of the meeting time to socialize and get to know others on the team better, while others feel this time is used solely for work purposes and socializing needs to be saved for after hours. In this instance, it is important to assess the team dynamic and individual working styles of team members to create a healthy balance of the two approaches.

48 LIVING IN SINGAPORE

Meeting Conduct - The cultural mix may have an impact on conduct during meetings. For example, some participants may feel having a subdiscussion about points on the agenda acceptable, some may not; some may feel it appropriate to deviate from the agenda, some may not; some may feel taking a call during a meeting, for whatever reason, acceptable, some may not. It could be worth, in this case, having a frank discussion about meeting expectations so that everyone is on the same page perhaps suggest a ‘no phones during meetings’ policy, for instance, if that’s possible.

Semantics and Pragmatics - Whether during a group meeting or in another interaction, one coworker may ask the opinion of another with a different cultural background. To one, a “yes” response may seem an indication of approval, but such a response may only mean “I understand you” without in fact agreeing. This is highly likely to cause confusion, so it may be helpful to summarize or reiterate what has been said for clarification.

Language Use - Appropriacy of language is also important when considering other cultures. For example, “kicking butt” may be common parlance among American coworkers to show support, whereas a colleague whose first language is not English may interpret this as offensive. Different forms of expression are not always understood, so be mindful when using idioms.

Addressing cultural awareness involves advanced preparation and learning about the different cultures, particularly in the workplace, some of which can be done though research. One way to assess this is by employing a consultant to conduct a psychometric evaluation where individuals and the cultures are measured as to where they sit on a number of orientation spectrums that show interaction and thinking styles, as well as a sense of self. After this is understood, cultural challenges are identified and strategies on how to address them can be formulated.

Culture is not always identified at the national and societal level. Other levels of culture are also defined in the following categories: Social Identity Group, such as ethnic and religious groups; Organizational, involving individual companies or other types of organizations; Functional, examples being different departments of a corporation; Team, such as members who work together on a particular project; and Individual, as each person has unique qualities to contribute.

It is easy to overlook the nature of working with those of various cultures as something to be taken for granted.

Most of what is seen on the surface appears to present little challenge; however, the reality is that some situations, especially when a diverse group congregates, will need many factors to be ironed out to ensure the success of the business operation.

Marc Servos is certified with Berlitz as a Cultural Orientations Approach Practitioner.

A Fort Wayne native, Indiana University graduate and U.S. Army vet, he is married to a Singaporean and has been living here for a number of years. He has two children, ages 18 and 10.

business Using ETFs for Investments Can Give Better Returns

By Richard Hartung One of the better ways for anyone who wants to invest, when they don’t have expertise or interest in finances, is to put money into a fund.

For a long time, that had meant money market funds or unit trusts; however, Exchange-traded funds (ETFs) and index funds may offer a better alternative at a lower cost.

Investing in a Fund Is Easy Selecting stocks, bonds, property or other investments well usually requires some level of financial expertise. For investors with less proficiency in investing, mutual funds or unit trusts have been an easy alternative.

The basic concept of mutual funds and unit trusts, which operate similarly, is that they pool money from many people for an investment.

A fund manager analyzes potential investments, buys shares or bonds and manages the portfolio.

You can choose a mutual fund that invests in a broad range of stocks and bonds, for example, or one with a narrower focus. Funds here and in the US have themes ranging from blue-chip shares or bonds to Russian stocks or global luxury companies. Whatever your investment taste may be, there’s likely to be a fund flavor to match.

That service does, however, come at a price. Many mutual funds charge up-front fees of up to 5% and management fees of 1-2% per year.

ETFs and Index Funds Lower-cost alternatives that provide similar convenience and returns are ETFs and index funds. The key difference with mutual funds is that most ETFs and index funds are not actively managed by a fund manager. Instead, investors’ money

is put into a passive basket of stocks, bonds or other investments that follow a theme or an index.

Similar to mutual funds, ETFs are pooled funds and invested with specific parameters. Investors can buy ETFs easily on a stock exchange and costs are usually far lower, with up-front commissions often under 0.25% and annual management fees averaging 0.5% or less.

Index funds are similar to ETFs, with a key difference being that they usually buy shares or bonds in proportions that match a market index, such as the Straits Times Index (STI) or the S&P 500 Index. Fees on index funds are also usually far lower than on mutual funds, with research by the Investment Company Institute showing that expenses for mutual funds in the US averaged about 0.82% compared to 0.09% for index funds.

ETFs and Index Funds Provide Good Results While mutual fund managers may tout their great performance, the reality may be different. Research by S&P Dow Jones Indices Scorecard, for example, found that 92% of actively-managed US equity funds that invest in large companies failed to beat their benchmark over a period of 15 years. Investment research firm Kiplinger similarly found that a typical large-company US unit trust lagged the Vanguard Index 500 over the past 10 years.

The lower fees make a difference.

Investment advisory firm Nerdwallet showed that a person starting with $25,000 who puts $10,000 per year into an investment and earns 7% annually for 30 years would end up with $2.3 million if they pay 0.09% in fees for an index fund, far more than

the $1.77 million they would have if they paid 1.02% in fees for a mutual fund. The impact just from fees is tremendous.

As renowned investor Warren Buffet wrote in his 2016 annual report, “When trillions of dollars are managed by Wall Streeters charging high fees, it will usually be the managers who reap outsized profits, not the clients. Both large and small investors should stick with low-cost index funds.”

Take the Next Step If you want someone else to manage your investments, then, choosing an index fund or ETF can deliver higher returns at a lower cost.

To choose an index fund or ETF, start by figuring out your investment goals, such as children’s education or your retirement, and your risk tolerance. Then, read information about ETFs and index funds from brokerage firms, banks or investment newsletters to find funds that match your goals. Webinars, online courses, talks at brokerage firms or libraries and other educational programs can provide more details about which fund to select. Check the fees to make sure they are low, too.

Once you’ve made your choice, you can easily invest through banks or brokerage firms here or in the US, such as Fidelity, Schwab or Vanguard. You can also use an automated advisor, such as Betterment in the US, or Stashaway or Kristal.ai in Singapore to help with the selection.

While putting money into mutual funds used to be an easy choice, investing in index funds or ETFs is easy and can give you an equal or better return, which will position you well for a more comfortable financial future.

Richard is the Managing Director of Transcarta and a freelance writer for Today, Challenge, The Asian Banker and other media, as well as writing for corporates. He is also the author of Changing Lanes, Changing Lives. Richard is a consultant in retail banking, focusing on payments strategy and efficiency, with more than 20 years of experience in Asia.

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Our Singapore:

LIVING IN IMAGES

How do you see Singapore? Every issue we’ll showcase moments captured by AAS members in a photography competition depicting our island at its finest; from the throng of the city to the wild wetlands, from the characters among its people to its varied landscape.

1st: Boat Quay Through the Eyes of Claire – Claire Wallbank This shot is a selfie by AAS family member Claire Wallbank, aged 7, who was out and about in Boat Quay.

Claire wins $100 Cafe vouchers.

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Hard

Rock

2nd: Shoebill Stork – Daniel R. Bischof AAS member Daniel is from Hyattsville, Maryland and took this photo of a shoebill at Jurong Bird Park.

Daniel wins a bottle of Moët et Chandon Ice Imperial Champagne.

3rd: Lau Pa Sat at Night – Carol Poulter Carol has been a member of AAS for three years and took this shot while visiting her daughter from London.

Carol wins a bottle of Fetzer Cabernet Sauvignon, courtesy of Benchmark Wines.

Submit your photo of your Singapore!

Just snapped a cool picture? Send it on to our Editor-in-Chief, Katie Baines, at communications@aasingapore.com with ‘Living in Images’ in the subject line.

The competition is reserved for AAS members only • Members may submit images that are 300dpi and 1MB in size (minimum half A4 paper size) • Each entry must include name, short photographer biography and complete caption • Readers must own the rights to the picture submitted and must have obtained permission to photograph human subjects depicted • Judges’ decision is final • Entries are automatically disqualified if they do not meet our criteria and stated T&C • Winners will be notified via e-mail when the prize is ready to be sent out • Prizes cannot be exchanged for cash.

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