Trigger

You cock the gun and shoot the bullets of ignorance as you utter the word Rape off your tongue

Immediately struck as my breath hitches in my throat and my heart comes to a quick stop One word repeated with one thought is I need to get out of here I need to get OUT now I run to escape feeling my lungs ache as if they will collapse at any given moment Just collect a fucking thought, trying to bring myself back to my current reality Remember your training, preparing for these moments to happen anytime But I cannot remember I am only able to focus on what you had to say But I can’t expect you to know the consequences of your one word You could not really understand that word’s loaded devastation

So I am left to manage the fight in my brain alone, alienated

The best source of defense my brain finally concludes is to

Just keep telling myself it will be okay and that I am fine

I can just continue to keep telling myself that I’m fine

I’m telling myself constant lies over and over again I will keep telling my favorite lies as they follow Trying to convince myself to believe in them Trying to fool my brain and body in them That I’m the one that has control now

That they will not get me ever again

Faithyna Leonard

I will get through this and be fine

I have experienced worse things It’s not the end of the world

I am a fucking hypocrite I’m pathological liar Unexpecting fool A gullible idiot Causing the

Trigger.