Straight From Our Heart – A Compilation of Art, Music, Poetry & Prose

Straight from our Heart a compilation of art, music, poetry & prose

Gateway Mental Health Project Members a

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Straight from Our Heart

Copyright © 2024 by Gateway Artists Published by Silver Thread 2024 All rights reserved: No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior or written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non commercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests write to the publisher at contact@silverthread.ie.

Layout by Kevin Fowley Cover design by Kevin Fowley Printed in Ireland Silver Thread Ltd., Dublin, Ireland www.silverthread.ie ISBN 978 1 9998870 7 0

Straight from Our Heart

Gateway Mental Health Project Members A SILVER THREAD PUBLICATION

This book is dedicated to Gateway members Tom Coleman, and Stephen Uzell who both died last year, you are sorely missed and fondly remembered around the Gateway table. We also remember those Gateway members who have passed on over the course of the last twenty years, thank you all for being part of our community.

This book is also dedicated to Gateway members that might be struggling health-wise, we are only ever a phone call away. A particular dedication going out here to Kathy Ward who has enriched, not only this book, but the lives of so many that have come to know you here in Gateway, more power and lots of love to you.

Finally, as the Gateway Mental Health Project celebrates its 20th Anniversary, we would like to dedicate this book to the kind army of people who have helped sustain, grow and fight for Gateway over the years, including members, staff, volunteers, management committee members and our wide network of hugely valued supporters.

Contents Foreword i About Gateway v Poems, Prose, and Visual Art 1 Andrew Daly 3 Ann Killian 8 AnnMarie Ryan 11 Barry Clarges 12 Brendan O’ Doherty 16 Ciara Kavanagh 18 Emily Gallagher 20 Eoghan Brophy 23 Irene Waddick 26 Jim Irwin 32 John Baker 35 Kathy Ward 41 Kevin O’ Beirne 46 Leila Said Gutowski 49 Mags O’ Sullivan 52 Margaret Kearney 54 Marie Therese Keating 57 Martina 64

Mary Smith 66 Noel Stephen Magee 69 Noreen Keane 71 Pat Meehan 73 Paul OC 76 Robert Crossley 79 Sandra Cullinane 86 Sophie Murphy 88 Stephen Savage 95 Tom O’ Byrne 98 Poems about Gateway 100 Andrew Daly 101 Ann Killian 102 Barry Clarges 103 John Baker 104 Sandra Cullinane 105 Acknowledgements 106

Foreword When James Fagan invited me to a Gateway Mental Health Wellbeing open air concert in Rathmines I went to Parker Hill for the sound of music, the sound of goodwill, good vibes and all that’s good, I wasn’t disappointed. As one who is on the endless quest for knowledge and spiritual enlightenment I was immediately drawn in by the infectious enthusiasm of all the musicians in the ensemble and it was a privilege for me to play along and just be part of the experience for half an hour or so.

Gateway offers the environment for those who are challenged by various setbacks in their lives and gives them the opportunity to improve and enhance their wellbeing through music and the arts.

The musical creativity on display would gladden anybody’s heart, and a little love and understanding goes a long way in encouraging others who just need a little bit of help to help themselves, doing their best to be better.

When I was asked to write the foreword for Straight from Our Heart; a book celebrating 20 years of Gateway, art, creativity and community, I felt truly privileged.

Art by its nature is every form of creativity: dancing, singing, drama, pottery, gardening, allotments, painting, sculpture, woodwork, meditation, walking, talking, anything that lifts the i

body, soul, mind, spirit. Music is the universal language and having played with musicians all over the world, I am speaking straight from my heart when I say that the humbling experience of Parker Hill with the Gateway band will live long in my memory. Time well spent in good company. The Gateway communal gathering, we’ll do it again some time.

Brendan “Brush” Sheils * The flow between creativity, mental and emotional health has been clear to me, since I first held a guitar, aged 9. Being, belonging, and sharing were all challenges for me, because I was a bit messed up, for different reasons. When I began to write songs in my teens, a peace, a calm, came over me. I loved everything about it. I still do.

Then the drink took over at 16, and for many years I floundered; and the flow was gone. So was the peace, and the calm. I surrendered to my addiction in 1981, aged 27, and have been free of substances since. I remained pretty messed up for many years, but the help of fellowship and friends have slowly helped me build a new life. And one day at a time, I remain grateful for this life, and its possibilities to be, and do, better.

When I create a song, it is my way of saying to myself “I am here; I want to be here.” And then when I sing the song for others, it is my way of saying “I am here with YOU, and I want to be here ii

with you.” This seems so obvious and simple, but a mind which is troubled with addiction or depression or whatever, will want to detach and isolate. Music and song are a bridge to connection with others. And connection is the opposite of addiction/ illness.

In 2023 James Fagan introduced me to Gateway. Speaking of ‘flow,’ it is clear that there is a flow between these people who come together, to make creativity possible. This is SO important in life, and in this world. When I first met some of the people at Gateway, I instantly felt connected to the beautiful flow of energy among these people. The most powerful word in the English language has only 2 letters. That word is WE. We can do together what I cannot do alone. And that is the spirit behind the flow I felt at Gateway.

Every song, painting, poem, photograph which comes from the tribe of Gateway is a victory. These songs, poems, paintings... each and every one is a celebration of the Possible. We survive, and with each other’s help, we thrive. If someone is low, we have a song, a poem, a painting, to reconnect, to share, and lift the spirit... This is a good day. Life is good.

Well done everyone.

Congratulations Gateway.

Luka Bloom

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About Gateway Gateway Mental Health Project is a not-for-profit, peer-led Community Development organisation run by and for people with experience of enduring mental health difficulties.

Promoting acceptance, healing and inclusion through peer-support, Gateway provides our members with opportunities to discover or rediscover their self-worth and to regain agency in their lives, not only in navigating mental health difficulties but in all aspects of life.

Gateway uses art and creativity as empowering tools to help heal, inspire, speak out and address stigma in a society that continues to expect people with enduring mental health difficulties to survive quietly on the margins with little or no resources.

Based in Parker Hill Rathmines, Dublin 6, our drop-in facility is open Monday through Friday. If you would like more information or fancy calling in for a cuppa, call 01 4977005.

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Poems, Prose, and Visual Art

Gateway Members This is Where This is where I relax This is where I feel safe This is where I feel at peace This is where music makes me feel This is where connections happen This is where I find ways to grow This is where I feel I am wanted This is where we communicate This is where I learnt to grieve This is where I opened up to others This is where I come to socialise This is where I come to joy This is where I can be creative This is where I feel accepted This is where sometimes I can interact This is where the healing starts.

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Andrew Daly Message in a Bottle Look forward to the future, You should learn from your mistakes.

The past is a different country.

They do things differently there.

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New Year I stand here facing 2024, Seeking answers once more.

I ask myself what I want from this year?

Can I lay rest the old fears?

- Seize new opportunities - Have peace of mind - Learn to feel free - Find more ways to be kind.

- Focus on love, - Experiment with forgiveness, - Find new ways to live and - Seek forgiveness The past is gone.

I am here in the new, Out of the black and into the blue.

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Margaret My sister Margaret is my best friend.

We have been close since childhood.

She always made space to keep me in her life, no matter how busy she got with her own.

She phones me every day to ensure that I’m well, maintaining structure to my week, Keeping my social life beating steadily.

She took my illness and relapses hard, but she never turned herself against me.

She just showed me more love.

She has always trusted me and seen the good in me, even if it’s hidden to myself.

Margaret is hardworking, almost to a fault, Reticent about her own affairs, never allowing herself to be a burden to anyone.

She gives so much of herself to others.

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Margaret never wanted attention.

Unassuming, she goes out of her way to avoid applause and compliments.

But Margaret can’t hide her light from me. She shines too brightly.

‘Aithníonn Ciaróg, Ciaróg Eile.’

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Anna Smith

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Ann Killian Goodbye I wanted to say goodbye in my own way.

Your criticisms of me were so harsh on that day.

I loved him the best I could.

I wasnvt perfect, but I was good.

Now he’s gone and we must accept that.

As a family we are broken. We need to mend that.

He wouldn’t have wanted fights and trouble.

He would have wanted us to love each other.

We all lost dad on that day. I miss him in my own way.

Rathfarnham Park Secluded from the road.

Hidden in the darkness.

Proud in the sun.

Rathfarnham wood.

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Hope Hope is eternal.

Hope is happiness hiding.

Hope is strength.

Hope is the sun rising.

Hope is ambition.

Hope is family returning.

Hope is safety for us all.

Hope is medicine when I fall.

The Body Is The body is a house.

A kitchen, a heart, An office, a brain A bedroom, a haven and a place of secrets and privacy, A garden, a place of zen and rest.

I have the right to be at home in my body.

I have the right to be at peace in my world.

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Alex Bowler

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AnnMarie Ryan G Flat The music plays slowly.

We all close our eyes and concentrate.

We are supposed to say how it makes us feel.

It is a melancholic melody and it matches the dreary and dismal weather outside.

Today is my mother’s anniversary.

Perhaps that is why I hear sorrow.

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Barry Clarges

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Barry Clarges Masks Masks make it easy to hide my real self.

Sometimes I want to be me, and sometimes I want to be somebody else.

I feel sad sometimes when I wake up, But I keep going and I never give up.

Resilience Resilience is a lion trying to be fearless.

Resilience asks me to be strong when I feel weak.

Resilience is about standing up for yourself and Not giving in when things look bleak.

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Oxymoron Oxymoron, A figure of speech, A contradiction in terms, But we use it.

Words and phrases fall from mouths like apples from trees, But do we know what we say?

Do we mean it?

Happiness Happiness comes from the heart, Not necessarily from the start.

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Mark Aherne

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Brendan O’ Doherty Resist I can resist anything but temptation.

I can learn to co-exist with anything but pain.

I can learn to close my eyes to anything but injustice.

I can learn to get along with all the things I don’t know.

I don’t have an explanation for another lonely night.

I just have a sense of mission and a sense of what is right.

Becoming a Man Hospital.

Depression.

Dad. Rows.

Anger.

Standing.

Friendship.

Mam. Letter.

Forgiveness.

Acceptance.

Love.

Growth.

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School Memory Location: woodwork room.

All is as it should be. Everyone is busy working away. A gentle breeze passes through the open window, then there is a noise.

Something has hit the floor. Eruption. Chaos! An impromptu game of football ensues, the ball – a one litre plastic bottle, enough to bring silence and order to its knees. The whole class joins in. It’s foot over foot, leg between leg, a noisy cluster of uniformed boys smashing through the room like a tornado. The teacher asserts himself. Exaggerated “ahems” become “excuse me”s, but apologies are lost amongst the scuffles of the game. The teacher picks up a tool and makes some noise to catch attention, but it wasn’t that to bring about silence. The classroom door is burst open and its bums back on seats and heads facing down. “And what were yee all doing to make such racket?” The bottle rolls gently to her feet.

She picks it up, examining it in the air with a rye knowing grin. “A bit of extra-curricular P.E. Well I can’t argue with that.” She closes the door behind her. The room collectively sighs with relief. No punishment – phew. Our shoulders relax and we move on with the lesson.

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Ciara Kavanagh One Day You were perfect, one of a kind.

Four years on, you haven’t left my mind.

Today you would have been eighteen.

There’s still so much you haven’t seen.

All I can do is hope and pray, That we will meet again one day.

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Clodagh Irwin

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Emily Gallagher Gaslighting I am a survivor of gaslighting.

He chiselled away at me until I was gone.

I am a survivor of gaslighting.

He manipulated me and coercively controlled me and told me I was wrong.

I am a survivor of gaslighting.

He made me question and doubt myself.

I am a survivor of gaslighting.

He tried to break me and shame me, until there was nothing left.

I am a survivor of gaslighting, because I am still here, living without fear.

I am a survivor of gaslighting, I am resilient.

I am strong.

I have won.

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Hope I like the moonlight.

It is so bright.

I like the star light, Glistening in the night.

I like this moment.

It feels right.

I like the present.

Hope is in sight.

Finally, the struggle is over.

I don’t need to fight.

Finally, I am at peace.

I can sleep tight.

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Aoife

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Eoghan Brophy I am the meta one I am the meta one I avoid the metattoo Not sure of the metathree Hm, what’s a metaphor?

Hazard a guess at metafive Metasix leads on to metaseven And now it’s time to Metateight Night night And now we dream Crossroads must be angry about something Maybe they can’t remember Perhaps it was a letter from Prison Delivered by a priest Juxtaposed by a notion of a destination known as choice Leading inevitably to a regret, no matter what choice is made Decision’s greatest terror is inherent in how long I could live Not for long, or so we pray Any direction from here is fine, as long as it goes somewhere Someone is going to be glad to see you when you get there No prison could contain a mind that might contrive a weapon as dangerous as a well inked pen

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Decisions and choices such as they are would regret not living completely It would seem then that the absurdities of life are incumbent upon us all Roads may be cross, but we all of us, priests and sinners alike must walk them together Prison is where we remain in ourselves Freedom is only 7 letters You are you own Jesus, until someone suggests otherwise Regret tomorrow, if it ever comes

22 Llamas Susana llama and Giovanna llama were on holidays in Guatemala, but the evil Osama llama had other plans. They had mischievously diverted their flights to the Atacama.

When Giovanna Llama noticed the palaver, she called her pal Obama to see if he could help. Obama explained that he was in Guatemala on a speaking tour, so the llamas should meet him there.

Unfortunately, this is where the drama really began. Osama llama send them in a merry chase through Botswana, Yokohama and even Tijuana. Susana llama tracked their location to an undersea base in the Mariana trench, thanks to information leaked by Svetlana llama, who was a double agent. Obviously. Obama’s assistant Giovanna was growing concerned that Susana llama and Giovanna llama were so baaadly delayed, so she booked them a rendezvous

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ticket to meet up with Obama in the Bahamas. Meanwhile Svetlana went on to track down Osama in the Mariana trench. After Susana llama and Giovanna llama arrived in the Bahamas to meet Obama, they sat down to discuss the small matter of Svetlana defecting over to Osama Llama’s cause. Susana llama and Giovanna llama were concerned, but Obama encouraged them to feel calmer. Project Chihuahua had been in effect since the days of Che Guevara.

Obama didn’t mention the iguana.

And so Giovanna Llama and Susana Llama headed home at last to their farm in Toscana. On the way home they bought fresh pyjamas, because they were severely jetlagged.

Tune in next week for part 2, where Svetlana llama pretends to defect to help Osama Llama by threatening to kidnap Tatiana llama and Joanna llama, but it’s actually all a big llama drama conspiracy.

(22 llamas there)

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Irene Waddick

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Only to find you were already at peace I wonder, I wonder, what it is you would do If each day you wished for became granted to you I suppose for a time You would sample great feasts And go on adventures and See exotic beasts And so you would then see The whole world for a while And have every experience You could imagine with your mind But what if you did everything there was to do, Only to discover the best things are not new I wonder if you might wish For time to relent But maybe the best days Are already spent.

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The Story of Moe Mint Moe the mint had been framed, in time. Literally framing people in time was difficult, so most people used recycled grandfather clocks. Moe, being a mint, liked to try to keep things fresh. He particularly enjoyed fresh clues, especially ones that helped him figure out who was responsible. Being framed in a recycled clock meant sleeping was difficult. Tick followed tock in an infuriatingly predictable manner. There were so many types of frames to consider too: doorframes, window frames and even airframes (and all their associated flights of fancy) But why would anyone want to frame Moe? Was it because he was a spearmint with a point of view? Maybe it was something else? It was hard to say. Being framed was hard to swallow. Free to move but trapped in mind, and the only appealing activities seemed to be self destructive, and inclined to waste and ruin. And so it was that the familiarity of the well furnished cage became more appealing than the mystery of freedom. I suppose fading into obscurity was equally terrifying Stockholm syndrome of a sort began to set in. And then Moe began to realize something. It was actually a lucky thing that he had been framed when he had been. Having been framed in time meant he would be able to travel the world and see all the sights, from his perfect vantage point, high up, hanging off the rear view mirror of a juggernaut, which went all over the world. Because you see, Moe Mint was actually a Christmas Tree air freshener. He realized his purpose, and he fulfilled it.

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AnnMarie Ryan

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Irene Waddick Hope Shines Through Hope is there when we need it.

Sometimes it’s hard to find.

It shines inside us all.

We just have to know where to look.

Hope is my friend when I’m in trouble.

I am happy to say that.

Portugal I am in Portugal. The sun is shinning. Buildings have whitewashed walls and terracotta roof tops. All the apartments have balconies.

People eat differently here and they spend more time outdoors. I feel beautiful here, dressed in white, bathing in the sunlight.

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Brendan O’Doherty

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Jim Irwin Autumn Tears Leaves fall from the trees like tear drops.

Little leaves left to rot upon the forest floor.

Colours abandoned to turn dirty brown, To be buried and forgotten Like me.

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Finding Peace Within I met someone on a train once, someone older like myself. It was on the Tara train line.

I was leaving the congestion of the city behind in favour of the freedom of the coast.

Between the stops and the jostlings of the carriage, I got chatting to this stranger.

He’d had a hard life, but seemed to be in a calm place now.

He offered me advice.

He gave me a leaflet. It contained words he held dear.

He gave me the sacred message. It read “Find your peace within”.

I tried.

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I am Jim I always thought I had to please everyone else.

I would take a breath and say – “I must not annoy”…

“I must hold it all in”…

“Don’t let them see what I’m really like”…

“What if they reject me”…?

“I must keep them all happy or else they will fly away, migrating like birds to somewhere else, somewhere better, somewhere beyond my view”.

“Don’t make a mistake. Don’t say the wrong thing”.

I look back at the stretch of life behind me and all I see is misspent times and shadow.

My name is Jim. I am here.

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John Baker Evolve or explode I believe I have evolved from a moth into a butterfly in my determination to overcome my low self-esteem.

My twin brother and I are the youngest of nine children. My mother was 45 when we were born, in the fifties, if you went to the doctor’s because you couldn’t cope, the children were taken off you and put into care. This was a terrible stigma. My mother was trying to raise nine children with no social welfare backup, no support from society, I don’t mean financially: my father was a very accomplished chef who ran the horse show and the spring show that were held in the RDS every year for country folk to celebrate their way of life.

To me, today, my mother was a saint. I could not comprehend how to raise nine children without a creche to put children into, a housekeeper and a nanny during the week that can be available to women today.

She was emotionally burnt out. This profound lack of affection from my mother gave me the feeling that I was always in the way, a burden she did not know how to handle. I had not a clue how to please her, maybe if I ran away to join a circus and become a very

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sad clown… To disguise my unhappiness I stayed out of the house as much as I could, free from daily grief or listening to her raving on about something or other.

Over time, the bar became my second home, mingling with people who listened and understood me – or pretended to. Then, I became trapped in it, like millions of people who don’t want to go home.

I had a spell in Grangegorman Vergmount hospital as I was diagnosed sociopath. My life became a rollercoaster, up in the air or down in the dumps.

My salvation came when I discovered that Jesus Christ died for me and I knew I was special and I began to pray and before you knew it all the jigsaw pieces of my brain that were scattered on the lobby in the house of chaos suddenly came together by a miraculous miracle. This transformation has dramatically altered my outlook on life, which clarified my thinking that there is nothing that I can’t overcome.

I very strongly believe in devoting my life to helping the downtrodden and the helpless, I am only speaking from my own experience, everybody has to decide when you come to a crossroads which road to take. This is not for me to lecture anybody, I don’t claim to be a saint but a sinner full of explosive dynamite ready to go off but I know I am a dynamo on a bike that gave light in the dark road ahead of all of us, so help me God.

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An Old Soldier’s Guide To Fighting Inequality People see obstacles where I see opportunities, situations to overcome, ways to gain a new perspective and broaden my experience. Life is about learning, irrespective of upbringing, wealth, education, or talent.

For us to grow and develop as human beings, we must never think we are better than anyone else. If you do position yourself above others, you are cutting yourself off from the ability to learn from others. Ego blocks our view. It strains our ability to connect with people and with ourselves. Ego is built out of insecurity and the false belief that we are inadequate, that we have failed or are undeserving of love, happiness and companionship. People drink and take drugs to escape themselves, because they are unhappy with who they are or where they are at. People should never look down on themselves. When we do that, we disempower ourselves. We reduce our resilience to the world, and we give permission to others to treat us badly. Some people exaggerate themselves or create versions of themselves. Some people try to be what they think will be popular. Fakers are always discovered by the inconsistencies in their stories. Some people will use you and spit you out when you are no longer of value to them. Some will manipulate you. Some will break your heart. Some will be loyal and kind and decent.

How you view yourself will reflect how other people see you. The real reason for most people’s tribulations in life is a lack of selfawareness, self-determination, self-discipline, self-acceptance, and self-compassion. You can find strength in family, friends,

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and partners. You can find strength in education and in financial prosperity, but real strength and security comes from within. Belief in yourself, defines your destiny. Life is what you make out of it.

The world is constantly changing, and we must change with it, or we will be left behind. Being adaptable is so important in life. It helps us evolve. Not only must we understand ourselves, but we must think critically about the world around us too. We need to be conscious of global events because we are part of a global community. We need to understand our societies and our position in them. This way we can better understand ourselves and our realities. I encourage all to question power. Power structures are both visible and invisible.

Hierarchical systems of power are designed to oppress and keep us down. They provide misinformation and prevent equal opportunity.

I advise that we question the information put out into the world.

Never be afraid to do your own research. Never be afraid to educate yourself. Poverty, for me, is the best education. It makes you or breaks you. You either try to escape it through ambition or you learn to blame things and people for the outcome of your life. It is easy to get sucked into a web of despair, especially one not of your own making. We are all responsible for ourselves. We all have the power to make good or bad choices.

We should never stop being curious and we should never be afraid of difference, especially now. Ireland is multi-cultural, and it is important that we include people from all different walks of life.

People have different cultures and ways of living that we can learn from and benefit from. We must loosen the straps on the straight jacket of prejudice or biased thinking that we have become

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complacent to resist. People are more alike than they are different. I am an older man. I have seen the world change. I can tell you that the internet is not a real way to make connection. Face to face is where real connection happens and where real social skills are learned and tested. It is where we exchange interests and unlearn hate and fear.

Being inclusive and having direct involvement with difference is the only way for us to expand our thinking. Meet people in real life.

You learn more about yourself and about others than you ever will on social media. We should make space for debate. It is healthy to have different opinions. Tolerance and respect is all that is needed.

We should never fall out with people because they don’t agree with us because that is arrogant and leads to contempt. If we don’t make space for contrasting discussion, we doom ourselves to live in a fishbowl. Without perspective, how do we evolve?

Suffering is part of the human condition. It has been part of the human experience since time immortal. It is an essential aspect of human life. When suffering occurs, it should not come as a surprise.

How can we appreciate happiness if we have not experienced sadness or hardship? Suffering can test us and teach us and it can be faced with humility. Spirituality and faith in a higher power can act as a guide in times of suffrage. It can be a comfort too.

It can provide answers at times when there are none. A spiritual connection can make you dig deeper for answers within yourself and put you on a personal journey of discovery and strengthen your resilience. It also deepens our connection with the world around us, developing our compassion and empathy.

When we embrace the world, the world hugs us back.

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Jasmine Keena 40

Kathy Ward Moving On “It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.” I need to remember this quote. My new year’s resolution is to change my attitude to loss and death. It has crippled me for years.

There is nothing I can personally do about the past. Revising it in my mind only leads to regret and depression. There is nothing I can personally do about the future either. It hasn’t happened yet.

Worrying about the uncontrollable possibilities and outcomes of the future just creates stress and anxiety. All I can do is be here, at the beginning of 2023 and take each day as it comes. I am just going to live as best I can in the present. Sitting here, in the creative writing group at Gateway is a lovely way to spend the present. Why worry about the future? Is it going to rain on the way home? Do I have an umbrella?! How does that thinking help? Positive thinking, that’s what I need to do. Bring it on!

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Happiness I lost something very important to me in my life four weeks ago… but I’m happy because of it! I lost my beloved brother Michael who I have known since the day he was born. I have lost one of my best friends and one of the kindest people I have ever known. I have lost my childhood buddy, my protector and my lifelong friend…but I am happy. Michael is now in heaven with my husband John. They were best friends. Michael is also now with my mum, whose death deeply upset him for many years. Michael is no longer strapped into a rotating hospital bed. He is now standing tall and walking again. He is no longer covered in sores and wounds from being unable to move around. He is no longer skin and bone, he is a proper healthy weight and height again. He is no longer using a breathing apparatus. He is breathing fresh air and filling his lungs deeply and easily. He is no longer consuming heavy medication (36 tablets daily or more). He is not ill and in pain. He is no longer doing brain lesions that made him close his eyes in pain, closing his big and beautiful eyes. Now they are open and shining brightly.

Michael is no longer trying to communicate with me through music in my phone. He is now playing his much-loved guitar with my husband. He no longer faces the indignity of having bed baths and other personal things done for him by nurses. Michael is now able to stand in his own heavenly shower and wash himself at leisure.

I miss you so much Michael, but I am filled with such happiness that you are no longer in extreme pain and discomfort. I am so happy that you can walk and talk and play guitar again. I’m so happy that you are strong again and looking like yourself in heaven.

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What does it mean to be Irish?

Having been brought up in South London by Irish parents, I always loved St. Patrick’s Day. It was a friendly reminder of my family identity. Even the schools celebrated it, both primary and secondary. The nuns that taught us were of Irish decent, as were a lot of the Children especially the abandoned children who lived in the “Hollies” – home for babies and school kids. The nuns organised a great day for us. There were no lessons, but plenty of activities, films to watch and music. We always heard ‘Lonely Leitrim’ by Larry Cunningham and Terence’s ‘Farewell To Kathleen’ by John McCormack.

Ten years ago when my son was performing in ‘Beauty Queen of Leanne’ in London, he told me he wasn’t enjoying living in London. In fact, he hated being there. I moved over to London to a three story house he had in Brixton. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. I was back to my home ground. During the daytime I travelled around on the tube and visited different parts of London, both good and bad areas, and it wasn’t a problem to me. I dropped into Wetherspoon Pubs where I met and spoke with Irish men who I describe as “The Forgotten Irish.” These stories were all so similar and heartbreaking. These men had moved from their homeland in the fifties and sixties and worked for ‘Murphy’s Builders’. They worked very hard. They were paid a daily rate which was only given to them at night in a pub called ‘The Crown’ also owned by the Murphy family. While the men waited on their wages, they were encouraged to drink in the pub to pass the time. Disgusting!

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Their wages were handed back to their boss as soon as they were put in their hands. These men sent money home to their mothers for years. It gave them a sense of pride and achievement. They would save up for their annual holiday to visit family back home. Every year they would be asked the same questions – “How long are you staying?” and “When do you go back?” These hard-working lonely men who kept their families going during hard times live in bedsits on Camden Street or hostels around London. Some fall into alleyways. God help them.

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Liam Smith 45

Kevin O’ Beirne Six words of advice My philosophy on life stems from meditation. It has taught me to slow things down instead of matching myself to the world’s high speeds. A meditator I admire has six guides for practice – Don’t recall, don’t imagine, don’t think, don’t examine, don’t control and do rest. Here, I offer you my guides.

Meditate One piece of advice I would offer my younger self is meditation.

We tend to react too quickly in life, particularly when we are young. Meditation provides opportunity for pause. It’s a way to halt impulsions. Life is like the sea. We spend so much time focused on the choppy waves of the top. A little bit of worry. A little bit of unrest. Sometimes a storm. We notice the waves, sometimes they are all we see, but we rarely examine below the surface. Meditation is the craft of diving and exploring deeper into ourselves. Through this, we develop inner calm and self-awareness. When we connect to the deep, we create more control and resilience against the tides and currents out of our command.

Be Brave To my younger self I would say – “Be brave.” People lack moral

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courage but if we don’t defend what we feel to be right, we allow others to rule us. As I have gotten older, I realise the value of gentle assertion and the strength in being courageous. Being brave doesn’t have to lead to fighting or confrontation. In fact, simple assertions and small moments of courage diffuse tense or escalating situations.

When words are not said out loud, they linger inside our heads.

The effects of this and the feeling of missed opportunities are high prices for silence. We are not all equal in reality. It is important that we defend others in life who maybe can’t defend themselves.

Giving Back Give more to life! Thinking back, I missed out on moments to thank individuals for their kindnesses and efforts. Why not make life more pleasant for those around us? Why not celebrate life with and give to those that matter most to us, those that have weathered our storms and endured our wars? A day can be a nice day, and when its over the moment is gone. We cannot resurrect a day that is gone.

We can only start a new day. There is enough suffering in all of our lives. A light touch of thanks can go a long way.

Gratitude This can be as simple as a cup of tea in the morning. We can widen our horizons to see what we are not noticing, which is always under our noses. Be conscious of what is there and not what is missing.

There is almost too much to be grateful for and we can burden ourselves trying to count everything. Simplify it. Ask yourself – what is the essence of gratitude? Can you feel it as a real and visceral experience? Lives can be hard. We don’t always have reasons to smile, but take stock of the good that you do have. There is always

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something to be glad of and thankful for.

Authenticity Being a people pleaser is not a helpful trait. We are programmed by our upbringings to appear a certain way, to act different to how we feel and to supress certain truths of ourselves. We care too much about what people think of us. Am I too talkative or too quiet? What about my clothes today? Am I too tall, short, fat, thin? We can be too obsequious to others, too afraid to be criticized or too easily scapegoated. Yes, we have to comply with the rules of society, but not to the point of betraying ourselves.

Compassion Compassion is to suffer with somebody. It is empowering instead of burdening for both you and the other person. There is a strength in compassion. There is growth. Compassion is not a passive thing.

It takes and gives energy. It requires active participation. We are all connected under the umbrella of humanity – the old, the young, the sick, the healthy, those of different ethnicities and genders. As you get older, you become more mindful of humanity. You become more aware of your connection to other things. It is a natural progression. As you age, you sidestep your ego, and you think of the collective instead of the individual. The more engaged in diversity, the more connected to humanity. The more you yourself have been through, the more you recognise the journey in others. Compassion underpins our ability to be part of humankind.

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Leila Said Gutowski Precious June The day changed from grey, to rain, to sunshine in the time it took me to get here. As I walked, I pondered – what will relieve this ache in my chest? What will create some peace in me again? Sure, the parting clouds do their bit. Sure, the appearance of the sun improves matters. I must admit, the sounds and smell of spring really do cheer me. Mostly though, the difference is made by your company.

Gateway always finds a way to boost my step. Honestly, being in this room, seeing the endless creativity in your hearts, it moves me.

It lifts me and I am grateful. I appreciate the stories, of struggle, of suffering, of hard-earned simple pleasures. I admire your perseverance. Thank you for asking me how I am. Thank you for listening. Thank you for quelling my pain for just a moment.

Yesterday I had some steamed broccoli. It was so yummy. Just as life, it was leafy green, full of promise, and only slightly bitter.

It was cooked in a garlic ginger and soy sauce which was very pleasing to my tongue. Every mouthful felt like nourishment and health. The neighbouring table was filled with Asian diners. They ordered from the Mandarin menu and ate communally. I observed them sharing steamed buns, meats, rice, and tea. They elegantly

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collected food with chopsticks. I was happy to witness the pleasure they derived from their food and the happiness spread upon their faces. Earlier today when I ate the leftovers of my meal for lunch, I smiled to myself. That ache in my chest was alleviated again because I remembered the joy I had observed the night before.

Their moments of kindness, love and chatter.

Being here today with you all, it reminds me of the meal last night.

Here in this room, we share, we smile, we feel, we celebrate, we create special moments together. We are all given opportunity to escape our pain. This is precious and I thank you all.

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Ann Killian

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Mags O’ Sullivan Will You Love Me? I know I can love you and Love you with a love so true.

But can you love only me?

And give a love that is healthy?

FOR BOTH YOU AND ME! Will you love me above the others?

To the exclusion of all potential lovers?

Will you let me set the boundaries, So that we can love happily?

BOTH YOU AND ME! Will you put my needs above yours, So that loving doesn’t become a chore?

Will you protect my honour with integrity?

At all times ensure the safety – OF BOTH YOU AND ME!

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From A surf to a Kerry Queen of me From a surf to a queen.

You don’t know where I’ve been.

Put down to being raised up.

From being ignored to finding my voice.

Now whatever I do is my own choice.

From silence and oppression, To a world of self-expression.

From being hated and abused To being loved, adored, not used.

Misunderstood to becoming accepted – My thoughts and opinions are not rejected!

Frustration has dissolved to become peace of mind.

Instead of sorrow, now its joy I find!

Self-doubt, self-hatred and self-harm have all become confidence.

With that old life I am done!

Because it is from the Kerry Kingdom I come, Where women are smart, brave and strong.

No one can control me now.

Off the cattle market is this fatted cow!

I take inspiration from the Kingdom of Kerry and Supported by Gateway’s generosity, I finally became the queen of me!

The independent woman I needed to be!

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Margaret Kearney Breaking Through I reached a point that I could not stand.

I needed to redefine my life And then I met a taxi man – A guide, a friend, someone who Gave me the tools to become someone new.

I had been blaming my bi-polar for the choices I’d made And was chastising myself without refrain.

This man understood the state I was in And he invested in me So that I could win The ongoing battle I had been having with myself, A 72 year inner conflict with So much energy misspent.

Connections and passions discovered and left, A lot of time came and went.

My friend challenged me with honesty, he gave me support and advice.

He encouraged me to accept my past, to let go and be nice To myself for a change, to be forgiving and true.

To stop torturing myself and being so cruel.

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It is thanks to this man that I can stand here and say That I have learned to accept myself and live life in an improved way.

I am using my Buddhism to help navigate and understand All of life’s challenges and be more in command Of the present and to incrementally nourish Myself, my soul, so that I can internally flourish.

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Mags O’ Sullivan

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Marie Therese Keating Mask Wearing We often wear a mask. Often it is just so we can function in civil society, but this nevertheless can be corrosive to our wellbeing.

It can lead us to hide our true personalities and moods and avoid being authentically ourselves. It is destructive and we need to take time away from others and be in private to recuperate and reflect on our actions and contemplate our true beings. We have to make space in our lives to discover ourselves and learn about who we really are. This is crucial to discovering our authenticity. Knowing our private selves is integral to knowing who we are which shapes our overall perspective on life. Not doing this is detrimental to our wellbeing and sense of identity. Cultivating an empathetic side of one’s character is worthwhile and leads us to become well-adjusted and creative citizens. We are then more valuable to ourselves and to society.

Hope for me is not giving in to despair. No matter how low your mood, you always have to dig deep into your subconscious to unearth your own personal truth and joy. You must believe in your dreams and reach beyond the confines of your experience. There is so much unknown and existentialist in the world but also room for discovery and happiness. Reflection is a form of hope, recognising how far you have come already. This creates a foundation for 57

believing things will evolve into a better situation. This allows happiness to manifest and gives life and light into the dark places of a day. Hope is the engine and a divine goal, and so it is always worth nurturing. It will dissolve unhappiness or grief or whatever obstacle you may have.

Be yourself. Take your mask off.

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Gary McLoughlin

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The Glacier Passing Through Me I have found that recovery is a troublesome road. It is full of ups and downs, but persistence is key. You must stick with your recovery goals. Write them down first and monitor your progress. I find that I can manifest a kind of “frozenness” from my memories. Lately I found this has dissipated somewhat. It all came about when I started to declutter my apartment with the help of an assistant, a very kind women called Cynthia. She suggested strategies to use so that I could manifest the strength within myself and motivate myself to do better on basic tasks such as cleaning which had been hampering mindset and outlook on life. The process is ongoing, and I proceed encouraged by my new mentor. As John Grant would say in a song – I’m paraphrasing – “it is like a glacier passing through me.” This experience I’m undergoing, recovering from trauma.

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Fond Memories: Cuimhní Geala A moment of beauty for me, was when I played on repeat ‘Sledgehammer’ by Peter Gabriel, in our kitchen growing up. I used to play it really loud, immersed in the beat of it, and I danced my way around the kitchen.

It used to drive my father bonkers, but I persisted in playing it.

My mum didn’t complain, she greatly liked the music I played but I remember it as a time of fun in my life, giving flight to my imagination. I enjoyed that time in my life.

Mam, you were always my rock, you were always resilient and steadfast and stoic. When we went on long car journeys, I played my favourite music. I’d play Fleetwood Mac/ Edith Piaf – ‘Je ne Regette Rien’, ‘Milord’, ‘Padam, Padam’ were the hits and you eased yourself into listening to my taste which became your taste too. We were as one as we drove along. You who liked Mary Coughlan and you would say with keen interest “who’s that singing?” and I’d confirm it was Mary Coughlan – wasn’t she great! And you’d agree. Thanks for those moments, Mam, I’ll cherish them & always & forever. The moment is indelible on my heart and means the world to me.

Visiting Inis Oirr when I was a teenager had a profound affect on me. I was a Gaeltacht student, I was staying with a local family on the island to learn the Irish language. The people I was with were great craic and we all fully enjoyed the joys/delights of island

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living. I remember the Bean an Ti drying bread on the window sill, which was hazardous in itself as a donkey could snatch it, or a dog.

When the dog was ill, having been kicked by the donkey, there was a debate whether it was worthwhile to call the vet from the mainland or not. Decisions which would not come in to play while on the mainland. Another memory which is ingrained in my mind is when we had thunder and lightening on the way home from the Chéile. It was like the heavens opened and a monsoon type rain fell, it was truly biblical, and I can remember being truly happy and at one with nature.

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Emily Gallagher

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Martina Sisterhood As an independent woman, I have very strong views on who I should be. As a woman, I have been oppressed by systems and by persons that have tried to control me. It can be overwhelming.

Mental health issues have not made life easier. I have battled my way through sadness, anger, isolation and fear. Eventually I found hope which led to kindness, self-compassion and trust. Recently I learned to smile again. Women, especially those with mental health difficulties, must support each other.

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Paul OC

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Mary Smith Birds of Nature When I think of nature, I think of birds flying high in the sky, Majestically heading towards a new land unknown to us.

They spread their wings and are beautiful.

You can feel their presence swimming through the sky, Having flown the nest, they have Detached the strings of their mother’s aprons.

Birds are very clever, They go their own direction before Building and preparing their own nests for their own young.

Just like the arrival of a new born baby, They are so pure like the snow.

They set sail, away from us, To destinations unknown.

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Love Love. It can go either way, Everlasting or heartbreak, Who really can say?

I had love, it was all consuming in its day, But he grew deceitful, So love went away.

Love. I don’t trust it anymore.

I find myself happier when I’m on my own.

No more disappointment, tricks or scorn, But I sure would love someone to knock on my door.

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Building Happiness It took me a long time to learn how to be positive. Life had always given me reasons to have a negative view. It takes courage to be happy and to turn your life around. It’s important to keep hope alive and to tell yourself that hope is possible. There are always reasons to smile and ways to keep smiling. Be kind to yourself and to others. Be who you are. Don’t try to be someone else in order to please others. There is no obligation to be liked. What is important is that you like yourself. Happiness comes from within.

Good values are worth more money. Sharing the love is sharing the wealth. Treat others as you’d like to be treated. You never know when you’ll be walking in someone else’s shoes. Eat well, sleep well, find ways to destress and feel at peace. Take care of your mind and your body. Eat well, sleep well and find ways to destress. Talk to people you trust. Focus on what you have instead of what you don’t. Find ways to be grateful – good company, fine weather, small treats. Laughter is a cure and so is sunshine. Go out walking. You build happiness brick by brick inside yourself, day by day. Spend your days building.

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Noel Stephen Magee September Makes Me Think of School September carries memories of me going to school, Of being told “You’re not welcome” and Of being made feel a fool.

The teacher didn’t try very hard to teach us.

He just wanted the hours to pass.

What were us kids going to become?

Our futures were defined by class.

Nobody told us that we could be somebody, Its not like the generations of today.

I left school after my intercert.

Maybe if someone had believed in me, I’d have stayed.

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The World What is happening in the world?

I wake up in the morning and I have my cup of tea and I expand my newspaper and there it goes again – war war war.

War is being threatened again.

Why do we treat each other so badly?

Don’t we know how it feels to bleed and to ache?

Will we ever have global peace?

We kill thousands of each other and easily with a button – Women, children and men, We don’t even need to see their faces and It’s hard, hard, hard and It hurts, hurts hurts.

It hurts us all.

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Noreen Keane Grateful As the waves make hast to the pebbled shore, so too do precious moments begin as quickly as they end. It can be hard to hold onto the good times. I was once told “Live every day as though it were your last” and I have tried to, but messages get lost in the thick of life. Oh, to feel the fog to the back of my throat and the mist in my face and the dew at my feet once again. Dreaming. It is so easy to close your eyes and daydream when physically compromised.

I was very sick for a year and a half. It was the hardest time in my life. I am eternally grateful to have come through it. I learned a lot about myself and I am moving forward. I am my own success story.

You can be too.

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The Art Of Living We live in our minds, Especially when our bodies waste due to age or lack of care.

Our minds always have opportunity to remain young, healthy and free.

Someone well known once said “Life isn’t a dress rehearsal. This is the real thing.”

Others have long stated “It isn’t the destination, but the journey that’s important.”

If you are going through a bad patch in your life, remember the phrase – “This too shall pass.”

I believe that if you seek happiness too much, it will evade you.

If you are always wanting for something, you’ll never be satisfied with what you have.

If you spend your time waiting for something to happen, you will find that nothing will happen at all.

Life is like a butterfly. Let it come to you and settle upon your shoulder.

Be at one with it. Appreciate it while you can, before it flies away.

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Pat Meehan Doors I want doors to open for me.

I want opportunity.

No more hiding.

No more regrets.

The year is young.

Let’s see.

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Summer – Autumn A gentle haze of summer is showing everywhere.

The smell of lovely flowers, Gives fragrance to the air.

I sit alone and wonder Is this the way that it must be.

The loneliness of summer Always disturbs me.

A gentle scent of summer Is blowing in the breeze.

The warmth of summer sunshine Is blown with wind through trees.

I sit alone and wonder – What is it all about.

When I was a little younger, I never seemed to doubt.

A darkening shade of autumn Is being allowed to dwell.

The leaves are softly falling.

The trees look bare as well.

I look around and wonder – Is this the only way?

The summer is so beautiful, But summer cannot stay.

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Yvonne Daily

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Paul OC Noticing Something Everything is beautiful in its own way.

I see beauty every day.

Wind blowing gently, roses in the park, Sun shining, a moment in the dark.

Children playing, people holding hands, Birds whistling, the smell of freshly cut grass.

A pram, a dog, two close mates, The park attendant closing the gate.

Everything is connected here.

When I go walking, I lose the fear.

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Paul’s Book of Life Years ago, I had friends.

I wandered Dublin until I lost them.

Mental illness and drink got in my way.

I didn’t have a great education and my siblings emigrated leaving me behind.

It was just me when my mother got sick.

Times were hard.

People fall.

Finding Gateway gave me a new beginning.

I have gained confidence in myself.

I have made friends, some great ones, Which is an achievement.

Life is about people and people are the way I enjoy life.

I can get lonely, but I don’t feel alone anymore.

We have a good laugh and a joke at Gateway.

I try new things.

I like the music.

The staff are very kind.

We have to laugh in life.

We have to shrug things off.

There is enough sadness, blame and regret in the world.

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James Dunne 78

Robert Crossley Clockwork

(Mayo, Christmas, After Halley’s Comet) St. Stephen’s Day, this moment, Mayo’s Lakes Are frozen into stillness as the swans Beat slowly overhead gigantic fans To cool the fever that the ice forsakes.

And geese that would be swans must celebrate A sacrifice too sacred for the prayers Of grace before of after – time repairs Their metronomic winging into fate.

The comet and the pendulum shall trace A cumulative arc around the days The mad insistent music always plays Goodbye sweet love, goodbye – with each embrace.

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Evening Evening Aftermath of troubled day Softens thought with sleepiness I watch the fire go down And the light fade away There is peace at evening And thought flows free I think of simple things And sift the silver ashes For a golden memory.

Fatal Encounter Our eyes meet Two souls collide Could this be love At last?

I only know That love is sweet And my heart Is beating fast

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Kathy Ward

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Lullaby Nightfall darkening the window Rain on the window pane Outside cars swish Through the winter rain.

And I could sing aloud now Songs for rainwater But the past is pestering me – ‘Til a ghost moves moves my hand: “Tonight dreams we’ll sail across A dreaming golden lake of sleep” – And the rain is falling, falling And the water growing deep.

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Hope I have tried to find a reason For this voyage through the dark Winter of the darkest season: On this sea I must embark.

Through waves that wish to drown me I think I faintly see A lighthouse in the distance That is shining there for me.

Ever shining, ever calling You are waiting there for me.

Ever shining, ever calling.

You are waiting there for me.

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Looking Back Across the years my eyes surmise A thousand sunsets going down Through crooked streets and crooked lanes, I stumbled like a drunken clown And people laughed and people cried At every word I tried to say But all the time I travelled on Until the laughter died away And looking back across the ways That glimmer distant through the haze I have to say that love shines through Like candles through the darkest days

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Richard Molony

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Sandra Cullinane Crush

(Prose Version) Fifth year, sweet sixteen, maybe not so sweet. School was a certain protectiveness from home, a way to test the world in an incremental manner. I first saw Darcy McCaughley in the science room. Science wasn’t really for me. I liked biology, learning about the birds and the bees but what I really clicked with was chemistry. One day, the usual mundanities were pushed aside. Enter Darcy, my Mr Darcy. He was somewhat morose which kept me guessing. He was a brunette, not too tall, and he moved with a certain grace and presence, like somebody important. September, a new season and a new person of interest. It was more than an A I was hoping to acquire that school year. He was my private crush, well…not that private since I wrote his name all over the inside of my copybooks.

Mrs Sandra McCaughley I would write and draw big love hearts. I would say his name at night in whispers. It would roll off my tongue so easily. McCaughley. Science was not my strongest subject that year. I would day dream of our wedding day. Would I wear white or cream? “Sandra… Sandra… SANDRA.” I would shake off the daydream only when my friend Masy would click her fingers at my face.

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It can be different The gleaming gold and greens of early spring – A soft, balmy breeze – A reason to believe – This year so different to the others.

A bright dry day, a positive escape, I take myself walking amongst the Hazy sunshine and fragrant air of Tangy lemon zest.

A hardy participant, some fleeting resistance, I’m glad to be out walking today.

A new routine forming, some depression dissolving, Perhaps things can be different.

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Sophie Murphy Sea swimming When I was about 37 years of age, I developed insomnia. I was used to regular swimming in the sea but now this became a life saver for me. If I found it difficult to sleep at nighttime, I’d get up early in the morning and head out to places such as Seapoint ,Sandycove or Vico Baths where you might sight the odd dolphin out at sea.

My late grandfather Michael swam in the Forty Foot every single day of his life. He worked as a civil engineer for RTE and everyday he made his way down to the Forty Foot and entered the sea. He continued this routine every single day, until he went to a nursing home in his old age. He is my inspiration.

For me, it starts with the feel of the sand touching my feet, the sea breeze on my skin. Then I enter the soft water, splash cold water on my shoulders, let my body adapt, and finally I embrace the water and begin to swim out, swim as far as I can go.

I really feel this has saved my life.

I find the people there so welcoming and friendly. We all bring a flask of tea, and you can have the banter, how cold is the water,

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how are the waves, did you travel far, how long did you stay in the water for? The atmosphere is both invigorating and calming. It is so therapeutic that I found that my sleep improved ever since I first ventured out for a sea swim.

I have now incorporated this routine into my daily life, whether I am working or not, sleeping or not, and I find it is such a blessing.

I am ever grateful for this life experience.

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The Readathon My little newborn baby sister arrived when I was nine years of age.

I used to be Mammy’s girl, and now I had to fill my time all by myself, or so it seemed. What on earth can I do with myself now?

Our school, Edmondstown Primary School was running a Readathon and I knew this was the chance to busy myself with something. It was a very small school, there were only six people in my class.

The library was in a corner of the staff canteen, where you could read away by yourself. I came there more often than most, chatted away about books with the librarian.

This introduced me to various books, to authors such as Roald Dahl, Marita Conlon McKenna and C S Lewis. I knew I had to read the most books in my class in order to win this readathon and claim my prize. Some of the more wealthy students in my class had fathers who might go out and buy them the latest popular books, but all I had was the library.

At home, bedtime was nine o’clock. After I was sent to bed, when my parents were fast asleep, I would sneak out into the dim-lit landing. I read through many many books until the early hours of the morning – hence now I wear spectacles. My favourite book was The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe by C S Lewis. I have read this many times.

In the end I added up all the books I had read. Fingers crossed that

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I could win this readathon.

Joyfully and proudly my teacher Ms Tallon who I respected a lot was going to announce the winner. I sat there with quiet anticipation.

Was I going to win? And then she announced it Sophie Murphy (me oh me) had just won the school readathon.

They gave me an award that I have to this very day, but more importantly, this has inspired me to continue reading and writing for the rest of my life.

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Sandra Cullinane

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Sister Friend Marie is my beautiful little sister.

She dares to try my mother’s patience.

Her doggie walking is a true gift.

She is sensitive to animals.

We may take a walk in the zoo.

Touched by the tiger is she.

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Sheila Clerkin

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Stephen Savage Any given day On a clear night in summer, you will see me looking up at the stars.

On a warm dry day, you can watch me feed the birds.

I have fond memories of the seaside.

I enjoy walks along the sand.

I like the loud waves and the taste of salty chips.

In winter, I go there sometimes, But just when I close my eyes.

Why I Write A way to express myself, thoughts on paper.

A message that I send from me to you.

A story that I write to offer connection, A company and a comfort when your mind is spinning and your world is cold.

Writing comes from the heart. It explains the world inside the body.

This is why I come here to do what I do.

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Hope Just like a train going through a tunnel, Hope comes like a light, Illuminating all darkness, Calming my soul.

Hope waits for us.

Love To love oneself is the start of loving others.

A little love goes a long way.

Acts of kindness are fuelled by love.

Love can be simple but we often make it hard.

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Marie Therese Keating

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Tom O’ Byrne Resilience The last eighteen years have been bittersweet.

I was at my lowest.

Then I was wading through.

At other times I was laughing on my back.

The years play games.

Somehow I have had the strength to carry on.

Resilience is found in dark places.

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Poems about Gateway

Dear Gateway Sometimes it’s hard for me to convey, All it is that I want to say, But you have helped to extrapolate.

All the thoughts that I contemplate.

Gateway has given me a place, To explore myself and embrace, All that life now has to offer, And all the things still left to discover.

Now every day has the chance to be new, And happiness has the chance to be true.

Andrew Daly

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Gateway A sanctuary.

A place for learning.

Music and song.

Cups of tea.

Chats with friends.

A quietening of the mind.

An extension of home.

A space for engagement and aspirations.

Ann Killian

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Growing at Gateway I came to Gateway feeling small.

After two years I feel like a new man.

Time sways unpredictably and Every road leads to a new one.

Barry Clarges

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What is Gateway?

Gateway is not just a place to come for tea or coffee. For me, it is the foundational stone in building a frame of mind which sets out to explore what your potential is and establish what you are capable of. It nourishes your soul so that you can flourish and exceed your wildest dreams. This ethos is not available or encouraged in other mental health facilities that I have experienced. In those, power is concentrated and there is a lack of mutuality. Everybody’s opinions at Gateway are valued and cherished. This creates an ambience of equality, harmony, and a sense of empowerment.

This furthers a desire in the individual to focus on the positive and find enjoyment in a variety of places such as music, drama, creative writing, and table tennis. Only your imagination can set you free from an often cruel and hostile world. Ask Elvis Presley who sang the line “Make the World Go Away”. He had everything, yet nothing, and died alone at the age of 42. I view Gateway as an old-fashioned weighing scales. I find I can balance the weight of the world on one hand and the weight of a butterfly in the other.

Gateway teaches me to balance stress. It is no joke that my mind can be delicate at times. I feel at times I am walking a tightrope but Gateway is there to catch me if I fall.

John Baker

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Time Out Its good to come to Parker Hill, Good to get headspace from the bustle of the streets and suburbs.

We share this space together.

Gateway is our place to be who we are.

It is a chance to become who we might yet be.

We are individuals, colourful and kind, United by a shared understanding of flaws and gifts and peripheries.

An invite for a cup of tea means much more than you first see.

It provides a moment in time to feel free.

Acceptance, respect, encouragement and hope.

That is what gateway means to me.

Sandra Cullinane

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Acknowledgements Gateway has been incredibly fortunate to receive unwavering support over the past twenty year from a wide range of progressive organisations and individuals.

The process of naming and thanking each member of Gateway’s supporting cast over the years would take the entirety of this book – you know who you are, and if reading this, please accept heartfelt thanks from hundreds of people, who at some point arrived through our doors in distress, to experience what it means to be part of an accepting, caring and inclusive community.

Importantly, Gateway would like to thank the HSE Heads of Mental Health Services in both the CHO6 & 7 areas and Mental Health Ireland for consistently going above and beyond in terms of funding and organisational supports.

Thanks also to our supporters in the City of Dublin Education Training Board, thanks to successful REACH fund applications in 2023 & 2024, Gateway members have been supported to collectively realise this very beautiful book.

Finally, a note to our publisher and guides at Silver Thread. Cathy & Kevin Fowley, your light touch facilitation, tireless work throughout publication and general kind nature has been a joy for everyone here at Gateway to experience. Thank you.

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Music by Gateway Members

How Wonderful You Are

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Traveller

110

Darkness To Light

111

The Water Is Wide

112

Diva

113

Kow Tow

114

It Was Always You

115

I Don’t Wanna Talk About It

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Every song, painting, poem, photograph which comes from the tribe of Gateway is a victory. These songs, poems, paintings... each and every one is a celebration of the Possible. We survive, and with each other’s help, we thrive.

If someone is low, we have a song, a poem, a painting, to reconnect, to share, and lift the spirit.

– Luka Bloom

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