October 16 Scoop Magazine

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NOW $274.50 Per Pallet

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE - Quality work performed in-shop, in office or inhome. Dependable, affordable! Over 14 Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570

ENGLISH SADDLE STUBBEN SEIGFRIED, like new, two girths and irons $550 OBO, Coleville (530)402-6128

ESTATE SALE SEPTEMBER 30TH AND OCTOBER 1st, 8am to 3pm, Power tools, garden equipment, ham radios and household items, Wi-Fi tablets, computer desk, fishing gear, 3620 Granite Way. Go to 395-208-Pearl-Granite, TRE

BACKHOE, CASE 580C, STRONG RUNNING machine $10,500 (775)901-0717

JOHN DEERE AND NEW HOLLAND TRACTORS and Mowers, Visit us at www.rennerequipment.com or call for prices (775)465-2217

TRASH/JUNK HAULING AND DUMP RUNS, SERVING Douglas County, call Rich (775)315-7737

ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)265-4766

FIVE PERSON RUBBER BOAT, NEW INTEX EXCURSION, 12’x5½’, heavy duty $100 (775)265-6941

VINTAGE ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM, TURNTABLE, receiver, AM/FM radio, dual cassette deck, all wood, pioneer speakers $475; Victorian loveseat $325; Victorian needlepoint side chair $125, Yerington (775)463-4440

WE’LL KEEP YOU IN STITCHES, WE COVER autos, furniture and ATV’s, 47 years experience, Tweeds Upholstery, Gardnerville, tweedsupholstery@yahoo.com or (775)782-5812

HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, Remodels, Garages, We Do It All! Free Estimates, 21 Years Experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Time for Hugs

After all of these years I can still remember the first time I placed my newborn baby son into my Grandmother’s arms. Nana by that time was 77 years old and needed a walker to get around her tiny home. Yet, the second I came in the door she stretched her arms out to me for a hug and kissed me. When she had settled into her favorite chair I placed my son into her arms and watched her rock him gently while her eyes sparkled with joy and her face filled with smiles.

By that time Nana had already been through so much in her life. As a little girl she had survived a German Uboat attack on the transport ship taking her to America from Italy during World War I. She’d learned English as a second language and worked hard even as a child to help her poor family survive in their new home. She’d married and raised 4 sons, growing 4 huge vegetable gardens to help feed them. Then she’d helped to raise me and my two brothers when my Dad and Mom moved back into her home after Grandpa died. When I was 11 years old she’d watched in tears as a fire destroyed that home in the middle of the night. She’d also survived brain surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from her head.

As I watched her hold my baby son in her arms I wondered how much longer she would be with us and hoped it would be for a long time. Thankfully, Nana lived to be 92. I guess God knew she still had more babies to hold, more kisses and hugs to give, and more love to share.

Now my newborn baby is 28 years old and I have gray hair and wrinkles. Still, I don’t feel old. Like Nana I know that I have more kisses, hugs, and love inside of me to share. Life may have pain, struggles, and sorrows, but God loves us and helps us through them all.

Life here may be brief, but there is always time for love.

There is always time for learning. There is always time for joy. And there is always time for hugs.

WEEKLY LAWN CARE, DETHATCHING AND AERATION, 13+ years experience, reliable, quality service, serving Carson Valley, Carson Valley Lawn Care, Insured (775)230-2546 PIANO LESSONS, ALL AGES WELCOMED, Carson and Carson Valley, doriopianolessons.weebly. com or email pianolessons@gmx.com (775)885- 6903 COMMUNITY YARD SALE, OCTOBER 15TH and 16th, 8am-5pm, Carson Highlands Mobile Home Park, 200 James Court, Moundhouse

Columbus Day- October 10th 6

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GENERATOR SERVICE, REPAIR, SALES AND Rentals, Generac Authorized Dealer Residential, Commercial and Industrial, experienced in major makes and models from 1KW – 2MW, Alltech Services, alltechservicesnv.com (775)331-5900 IS YOUR LIVING ROOM LOOKING DARK AND Dreary? Doreen with Lofty Expressions offers Drapery and Blinds, Custom Wallpaper and Faux finishes, 36 Years Experience, loftyexpressions.com or to schedule consultation (775)885-2444

Squid Inc. in Concert at CVIC Hall

The Carson Valley Arts Council will present Squid Inc in concert at CVIC Hall, in Minden, on Friday, October 14th, 2016. Join us for an evening of unique blend of ack beat rhythm, multicultural groove, and modern classical music. Tickets are $20 in advance; $25 at the door; Kids under 18 are free. For information or to purchase tickets, visit www.cvartscouncil.com or call (775)7828207. Listen to their music at squidincquartet.com.

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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IN DYER NEED OF AUTOMOTIVE SERVICE? For a good, honest mechanic, call Brian Dyer, 12+ years serving Dayton area! Dayton Valley Service (775)246-7661 VEGETABLE CHOPPER, KING KUTTER, never used, complete with cutting cones $45 (775)783-8094 HAVING A SPECIAL EVENT OR BENEFIT? Like high energy piano? I’m your man! Listen live at randyidemusic.net, negotiable pricing (775)848-6118 ESTATE SALE, STARTING OCTOBER 1st, 8am6pm, items are in storage, please call for viewing appointment, some items include Oak Clawfoot dining table and chairs, Lane bedroom set, power hospital bed, Lane curio cabinets (775)434-7488 WOOD FLOORING, BELLAWOOD PREFINISHED hardwood, 3/4”x3”, natural birch, four boxes covers 80 square feet $150 cash (775)335-5888 WE’RE EASY TO GET A LAWN WITH! YARD clean up, weekly mowing, sprinkler repair and much more, HIM Quality Lawns (775)229-3018

Sitting on the Porch

A six year old boy comes to visit his grandparents and notices his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocker, wearing only a shirt, naked from the waist down.

“Grandpa, whatcha’ doing? Your weenie’s out and everybody can see!” he exclaimed.

Grandpa looked off in the distance, not answering.

“Grandpa, whatcha’ doin’ sitting out here with no pants on?” he asked again.

Grandpa looked at him and said, “Son, last week I sat here with no shirt on, just watching the cars go by.... and I got a stiff neck. This is your Grandma’s idea.”

WE KEEP YOUR HOME COMFORTABLE! Fast 24 Hour 7 Day Emergency Service! Plumbing, Heating and Air Conditioning, Residential and Commercial. Serving Douglas County and surrounding communities, 18+ years experience, Mention this ad for 5% discount on service call, Riley Plumbing and Heating, Nevada Licensed (775)265-1765 REDUCE YOUR ENERGY COST! ATTIC blown in insulation, Residential and Commercial, licensed and bonded, 27 years experience, For your free estimate call BGS NV#58410, NV#58411 (775)782-9192

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Divorce

A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, “May I help you?”

The farmer said, “Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce’s.” The attorney said, “well do you have any grounds?”

The farmer said, “Yea, I got about 140 acres.” The attorney said, “No, you don’t understand, do you have a case?” The farmer said, “No, I don’t have a Case, but I have a John Deere.” The attorney said, “No you don’t understand, I mean do you have a grudge?”

The farmer said, “Yea I got a grudge, that’s where I park my John Deere.” The attorney said, “No sir, I mean do you have a suit?” The farmer said, “Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays.”

The exasperated attorney said, “Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?” The farmer said, “No sir, we both get up about 4:30.”

Finally, the attorney says, “Okay, let me put it this way. “WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?” And the farmer says, “Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her.”

GUNSMITHING SERVICES, CLEANING, REPAIR, Customizing, Federal Nevada License, Thom’s Gun Shop, Wellington (775)266-3136

WNC Community Education Classes

Medicare: Clear Simple and Understandable, Women’s Self Defense, Voice Over, R.I.P.P.E.D. exercise class, Computer Basics, Washoe Language – Washiw itlo Gawgayay, Yoga, A Mindful Approach. Other potential classes coming for fall Finance, Basic Math and English. Check class descriptions, dates, cost and registration on line at www.campusece.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4268 PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, Emergency Services, Fair Prices, Dependable Quick Service, Quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373 COLLECTOR’S SPECIAL WINCHESTER 30-06, model 70, pre 1950 with Adams scope, sling, carrier, good condition $1,850 (775)265-5828 $69 SERVICE CALL, ACADEMY APPLIANCE Service; Washers, Dryers, Refrigerators, Ranges, Dishwashers, Compactors, some areas extra charge, Serving Carson Valley (775)781-4725

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HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK RESURFACING and repair, interior doors, windows and interior/exterior trim, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235 PIANO AND ORGAN PRIVATE INSTRUCTIONS, Member of Sierra Organ Club, Call Joanne Booth in Sunridge, Carson City (775)267-2429 FISH TANK, 20 GALLON, SITS ON WOOD cabinet with all the stuff included and hexagon 1 gallon tank with all the stuff, $70 for everything (775)2656482 ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)721-2880 PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Brain Teasers

Forgetful...

The man looked a little worried when the doctor came in to administer his annual physical, so the first thing the doctor did was to ask whether anything was troubling him.

“Well, to tell the truth, Doc, yes,” answered the patient. “You see, I seem to be getting forgetful. I’m never sure I can remember where I put the car, or whether I answered a letter, or where I’m going, or what it is I’m going to do once I get there -- if I get there. So, I really need your help. What can I do?”

The doctor mused for a moment, then answered in his kindest tone, “Pay me in advance.”

1. An alarm clock runs 4 minutes slow every hour. It was set right 3 1/2 hours ago. Now another clock which is correct shows noon. In how many minutes, to the nearest minutes, to the nearest minute, will the alarm clock show noon?

2. A wealthy wise old woman feared that her daughter was lazy and as a result rather stupid. When the old woman died, her will stipulated that her assets were to be liquidated and a check was to be written for the full amount. The check was to be placed in one of three envelopes. The other two envelopes would contain a blank piece of paper. If the daughter could determine from the writing on the envelope which envelope contained the check, she would inherit her mother’s fortune. Otherwise, the fortune would go to the old woman’s favorite charity for animals. The daughter was not allowed to touch the envelopes. Her decision had to be made based on the writing on the envelopes. The daughter was told that only one envelope had a true statement and that the other two statements were false. The envelopes had the following writing: 1. This envelope does not have the check 2. This envelope has the check 3. The second envelope does not have the check Which envelope should the daughter pick?

3. You walk up to a mountain that has two paths. One leads to the other side of the mountain, and the other will get you lost forever. Two twins know the path that leads to the other side. You can ask them only one question.

Except! One lies and one tells the truth, and you don’t know which is which. So, What do you ask?

4. If three cats catch three mice in three minutes, how many cats would be needed to catch 100 mice in 100 minutes?

Find the answers on a following page.

WE DO MORE THAN MOW, BLOW AND GO! All your lawn care and yard maintenance needs. For a free estimate James at Gardnerville Green, gardnervillegreen@gmail.com or (775)450-0082

GLOCK 42 .380 SEMI-AUTOMATIC pistol, new case, extra magazine, lock, cleaning tool and all paperwork $425, personal sale, no dealer paperwork (775)220-2185

IT’S GREAT TO BE KNEADED, ONE HOUR MASSAGE $30 by Spring Ranch Spa, extra fee for mobile service, Donna/Coleville, CA#63979, NVMT7284 (760)616-4091

LOBO ROOFING, SERVING NORTHERN NEVADA since 1993, Financing Available! Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Senior Citizen Discounts, Mobile Home, Residential and Commercial, Lic#K0011, NVLic#0070178 (775)342-8969

MASTER HOROLOGIST, CLOCK REPAIR, MUSEUM Quality Furniture, Chair Caning and Antique Everything Restoration, Grandfather Clock House Calls! A-1 Restorations since 1967, Larry (775)7822422

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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

ROASTED GARLIC JAM, SOLD AT SCOLARI’S Market, Carrols Corner, South Yerington, call for more information (775)846-8972 or (775)463-1265 $200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, Re-roof, Repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, Over 25 Years Experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461

CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Old Wind Up Watches and Watch Parts, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you.

Joanne, please leave clear message (775)465-9422 HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $35 per hour (775)691-5119

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The Carson Valley Community Theatre...

PLUMBER, SAY GOOD-BYE TO ALL PLUMBING issues! Absolute lowest rates, fully insured, serving Carson Valley and surrounding communities, NV#0072549, Jim (775)220-2341 CUSTOM CABINETRY, FROM DESIGN TO BUILD, Finish and Installation, One-on-One attention, over 20 years experience, family owned and operated, WesternWoodworking.net or (775)267-4910 DAVID WALLEY’S ONE WEEK TIMESHARE, exchangeable for other resorts $9,500 OBO (775)7505756 PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, inside or out, Fences (775)901-1912

will be performing The Savannah Sipping Society, a Jones, Hope, Wooten comedy about four unique Southern women who have nothing in common except each is starting over in life. Brought together by fate - and an impromptu happy hour - they bond and become fast friends through laughter and attempts to reinvent themselves, along with the occasional liquid refreshment.

Randa, a perfectionist and workaholic, is struggling to cope with a surprise career derailment. Dot, is reeling from her husband’s recent demise and the loss of their plans for an idyllic retirement, and faces the unsettling prospect of starting a new life from scratch—and alone.

Earthy and boisterous Marlafaye has blasted into Savannah in the wake of losing her husband to a twenty-threeyear-old dental hygienist. Jinx, spunky and outwardly self-confident, offers her services as a life coach for these women, and finds they can help her as much as she can help them. Together, they discover lasting friendships and a renewed determination to live in the moment—and realize it’s never too late to make new, old friends. Performances will be September 23, 24, 25, and 30 and October 1 and 2. Friday and Saturday evening shows begin at 7:30pm. Saturday and Sunday matinees start at 2pm. Tickets are $13 for students and seniors in advance, and $15 for general admission and at the door.

Contact the box office at (775)292-0939 or buy tickets at showtix4u.com.

24” SNAPPER RIDING LAWNMOWER; 4’ SINGLE axle three point disc; 7’ three point angle blade (775)246-9227 FIREWOOD, ALMOND, CHERRY AND WALNUT, mixed, seasoned, split, $380 a cord, Almond only $425 a cord, delivery available, Jon (775)2467186 CUSTOM MADE WESTERN SADDLE; TOOL BOX for pickup bed, new bowie knife, claw foot bathtub, 28-year old rototiller, call for more information (775)465-2275

TNT UPHOLSTERY, CUSTOM AUTOS, BOATS, furniture and leather work, free estimates, 1482 Southgate Dr., #106, Gardnerville (775)267-5433

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, All Water Sports, Furnished Cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at eaglelakeheritage.com or (800)459-5179

SMITH VALLEY IRRIGATION – SERVING NEVADA and Sierra Communities for 38 Years with Ag Irrigation Systems and Parts (775)465-2316

Q-SNAP FLOOR MODEL 24”x36” FRAME WITH Q-Tilt kit, standard table height, by Lamb Art Press, assembly and use instructions $60 (775)782-3818

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Happy 17th Anniversary Sierra Scoop!

To our valued customers and community members, Thanks go out to each of you for your business, your friendships, your loyalty and especially your feedback.

The strides we have been able to make over the years are due in large part to your participation, interaction and openness with us.

We truly appreciate your trust and we’ll do our best to continue to give you the kind of service you deserve.

“Thank You” from the bottom of my heart to our Sierra Scoop team members for their gracious dedication to our communities and to myself. I love ya! Last, but never least, thank you to my dear friends and family for their love and support.

And because of ALL of you, I thank the Lord for bringing so much meaning and beauty into my life. Lisa Coffron/Publisher

HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)267-1958 HIGH ROLLERS PAINTING FOR ALL YOUR PAINTING needs and drywall repairs! Competitive rates and quality workmanship, bonded and insured, NV#44048, highrollerspainting.net or (775)267-2534

HYDRAULIC AND PNEUMATIC AIR CYLINDERS repair and rebuild, log splitters, tractors, farm equipment, dump trucks and trailers, etc. all makes and models. Machining, Welding, Fabrication, Design, reasonable rates! 18 years experience, Ramco Fabrication, Shawn (775)267-7358

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Application to Date My Son

CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! REPAIR, RE-STITCH, Replace: Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Spa Sun Covers and Patio Shade; Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/Minden (775)2674434 or (775)230-8706 REMODELING? TWO UNOPENED BOXES (32 sq. ft. 1’x2’ pieces) marbled, light gold porcelain floor tiles plus adhesive $90 (half price) (775)265-7578 ASPHALT AND CONCRETE DRIVEWAYS, GRADING and Utility Work in the Carson Valley, 30 years in business, Free Estimates, BR Constructors, NV#28567/NV#31076 (775)782-4477 or (775)6908593 MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley over 26 years! (775)265-0501 $100 OFF CLUTCH OR TRANSMISSION REPLACEMENT! New, used and rebuilds, up to 3 year, 100,000 mile warranty, Double J Auto, 1475 Southgate Drive, Gardnerville (775)782-8592

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NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

Name__ Aliases__ Date Of Birth_ Height__ Weight_ IQ_ GPA__ Social Security #_ Drivers License #_ Blood Type_ Girl Scout Rank and Badges _ Home Address_ City_ State _ Zip, Do you have parents? __Yes __No #of years they have been married _ If less than your age, explain why _ If not explain why_ ACCESSORIES SECTION: A. Do you have any children? __Yes __No, B. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No, C. A waterbed? __Yes __No, D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No, E. A tattoo? __Yes __No, F. Do you have a nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? __Yes __ No (if you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above, discontinue application and leave premises immediately. I highly suggest running as I am a darn good shot.)

ESSAY SECTION: In 50 words or less, what does ‘LATE’ mean to you _, In 50 words or less, what does ‘DON’T TOUCH MY SON’ mean to you? _ In 50 words or less, what does ‘ABSTINENCE’ mean to you? _ REFERENCES SECTION: Church you attend _ How often you attend _ When would be the best time to interview your: father? _mother? _ pastor? _ SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential. A. If I were shot, the last place I would want to be shot would be: _ B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: _ C. A woman’s place is in the: _ D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: _ E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?__ F. When I meet a boy, the thing I always notice about him first is:_ G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __ RULES: Initial each Rule after reading. Rule One: If you talk with foul words and dress like a tramp in shirts that are too small and pants low with thong showing, I will treat you like one. You are only allowed to wear granny panties super glued to your hind quarters.

Rule Two: If you date my son you date only him. He has a kind heart and I will not have you make my son cry; if he does, I will make you cry. You may only date ONE of my sons. EVER. Rule Three: You must know how to cook as well as I have taught my son(s) to cook. He is a big eater. Frozen dinners do not count.

Rule Four: Do not be hurt when my son chooses sports or gaming over time with you. Join in and learn the game. Shopping is not a sport.

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

Rule Five: Do not date my son for his money because I am his bank. Do not expect expensive gifts, he has been taught to be a savvy shopper.

Rule Six: Don’t sleep with my son; the only rubber he should be concerned about is out in the driveway and has Goodyear stamped on it.

Rule Seven: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pudgy, baggy-eyed, last-season, has-been. But on issues relating to my son, I am the queen of his universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth. If you do not I will ask him. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Eight: My son has been raised not to hit a lady, so act like one and I will not have to hit you for him.

Rule Nine: Do not be hurt when my son chooses spending time with me over spending time with you. He was raised that family comes first and until there is a ring on his finger, I am his family, not you.

Rule Ten: My son is not a toy. He does not have Hasbro, Mattel or any other toy company tattooed on his person. Hence, he is not an object for you to play with, manipulate, and discard at your leisure. I suffered through 42 hours of labor to have him, and will unleash an unimaginable amount of anger such that the movie ‘The Patriot’ will look like an episode of Little House on

the Prairie should you cross me.

I swear that all information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, crucifixion, electrocution, Chinese water torture, red hot pokers, Applicant’s Signature _ Mother’s Signature and Father’s Signature _ Pastor/Priest/Rabbi Signature _ State Representative/Congressman signature _ Please allow four to six years for processing.

GOT DIRTY WINDOWS? ABC WINDOW CLEANERS, Mirrors, Gutter Cleaning, Rescreening, Pressure Washing, 30 Years Experience, NV#20161064184, CA#310507, Gardnerville resident (530)544-0590 LET US UNLOAD ON YOU! TOP SOIL, ROCK, DG, etc. Tight time line? We’re really fast! 30+ years experience, serving Carson and surrounding communities, Nevada Organics (775)882-9500 DECKS, REMODELS, ADDITIONS, GARAGES! free estimates, Redline Construction, Inc., NV#0080432, garyedmunds15@gmail.com or call (775)781-3955

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Remain Independent – Remain at Home

The “little things” may become increasingly difficult as we age, but this doesn’t mean it’s time to surrender.

We provide affordable, non-medical assistance for seniors at home. Light housekeeping, meal prep, bathing/ grooming, companionship, family relief, and incidental transportation to appointments. A few hours to 24/7 care. Eden Home Care, eden-homecare.com (775)3922000 BUY DIRECT! DECORATIVE ROCK, SAND, GRAVEL, D.G., Topsoil, Bark and Boulders, yard pick-up or delivery, Cinderlite, Serving all of Northern Nevada, Cinderlite.com or (775)882-4483 NEW, PREMIUM MOHAWK “VICTORIAN LINEN” carpet pieces (2’x14’ 5½’x15½’ and 7½’ x12’) includes Stainmaster pad $500 (half price) (775)265-7578 ALL AMERICAN OVERHEAD DOOR, NEW INSTALLATION, Repairs and Service, Commercial/ Residential, 10% Discount for Spring Repair, Free Estimates and Senior Discount (775)450-2156

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WNC Motorcycle Rider Course

Motorcycle season is upon us. Learn to ride a motorcycle in 2½ days. WNC uses the Motorcycle Safety Foundation (MSF) curriculum and teaches the Basic Rider Course (BRC) and the Advanced Rider Course (ARC). The BRC is geared towards new riders and those with experience who need/want a refresher course. The Motorcycle season is winding down - learn to ride by taking the BRC class - choose from the following dates: September 16th - 18th; September 30th - October 2nd; October 7th - 9th; 14th -16th; 21st – 23rd or November 4th – 6th, 2016. WNC provides the training motorcycle 250 CC and a helmet. Cost $160. The ARC is a one day class held on a Saturday once a month. Students must hold a Class M endorsement, bring their street legal, insured and registered motorcycle and be dressed to ride.

The ARC class is an excellent class for riders – learn smother throttle control, risk management, better tire traction, leaning and riding in pairs. Cost $85. Enjoy the feeling of riding a motorcycle while enjoying the open road and lovely weather. Check class descriptions, dates, cost and registration on line at www.campusece. net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4268

Happy Halloween- October 31st

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BACKHOE, BOBCAT RENTAL, DECORATIVE rock and boulders at discount prices including Lodi gold, Snowflake, Santa Rosa Plum, all sizes (775)6905078

“A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter@sbcglobal.net or (775)530-8932 or (775)884-3906 IRS PROBLEMS? FEDERAL AND ALL STATES, Past years returns and audit representation, “Service you can trust, quality you can afford.”, Call James A. Farnham, enrolled agent, 20 years experience, Reasonable Rates, Income Tax Services (775)392-0321 SEVEN PIECE WROUGHT IRON PATIO DINING table and chairs $150 OBO (775)720-1627

Flying Pig Flea Market

Be a vendor, come to browse, October 15th, November 12th, December 10th, 8am-3pm, Fuji Park Building, Carson City, for information call (775)882-4717 or (775)315-0008

OUR BUSINESS IS GROWING! IRRIGATION, Water-Based Feeding, Tree Trimming, Cleanup, Hauling, Leafing! Winter Snow Removal and Maintenance, Pyramid Lawn Service Inc. Residential Lawn Care, Licensed and Bonded, Owned by Ruben Vargas (775)450-1197 or (775)220-8578 CLEAR THE CLUTTER! HARRY’S HAULING; pianos, spas, safes or anything else, serving the Carson Valley communities (775)291-6648

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” What Starts With “F

Codependents Anonymous

CoDA “Developing Healthy Relationships” Carson City, Sparks and Kings Beach, Visit www.coda. org or call for details, Al at (775)882-0884 or Bob C. (775)720-1040 WEST POINT PORTABLE AIR CONDITIONER, window mount, three years old, good condition, fits window width 22”-36”, minimum height 14¼”, for bedroom $80 OBO; Kenmore air conditioner with remote control, window mount, portable, top of the line, three years old, good condition, fits window width 22”-36”, minimum height 15½”, for living room $190 OBO (775)465-2049 COMPLETE LAWNCARE, PAVERS, RETAINING Walls and More! 30 years in Carson Valley, Senior Discounts and Free Estimates, Nevada Lawns (775)450-2156 HANDYMAN SERVICE – HOME REPAIRS, FENCING Repair/Replacement, Hauling, Trash Removal, Shrub and Tree Trimming and Removal, and Weed Removal, Free Estimates (775)781-1747

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A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, ‘Harry, what exactly is your problem?’

Harry answered, ‘I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!’

Ms. Brooks finally had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal.

The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he happily agreed to take the test.

Principal: ‘What is 3 x 3?’ Harry: ‘9.’ Principal: ‘What is 6 x 6?’ Harry: ‘36.’ And so it went with every question the principal thought a bright 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, ‘Y’know I reckon Harry can go to the 3rd grade. But, Ms. Brooks is still skeptical of the little bugger and says to the principal, ‘Not so fast, let me ask him a few questions.’ The principal and Harry both agree.

Ms. Brooks asks, ‘What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?’

Harry, after a moment: ‘Legs.’

Ms. Brooks: ‘What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?’

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: ‘Pockets.’ to the Principal’s great relief.....

Ms. Brooks: ‘What does a dog do that a man steps into?’

Harry: ‘Pants.’

By now, the principal is sitting forward with his mouth hanging open…

Ms. Brooks: ‘What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?’

Now the principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could intervene, Harry replied, ‘Bubble gum.’

Ms. Brooks: ‘What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?’

Harry: ‘Shake hands.’

The principal is now trembling with apprehension as Ms. Brooks asks the last question...... Ms. Brooks: ‘What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ and indicates a great deal of heat and excitement?’

Harry: ‘Firetruck.’

The principal breaths a huge sigh of relief and tells the teacher, “Put the little bugger in 5th-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong myself...”

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21

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” A Luncheon Benefit for Between Horses and Humans

Have you ever seen magic happen before your eyes?

Fear turns to confidence, aggression to patience, timidity to self-esteem, and selfishness to kindness. Leadership, communication skills, trust, courage, and generosity of the heart are a few of the magical things happening with children paired with equine teachers at Between Horses and Humans.

Event Date: Saturday, October 15th, 2016, Time: 12pm - 3pm, Location: Maddi’s Friesian Ranch, LLC, 310 Allerman Lane, Gardnerville, NV 89460 Tickets: $65 RSVP, $70 at gate. Purchase Online: betweenhorsesandhumans.yapsody.com.

Email Barbara Slade, betweenhorsesandhumans@ gmail.com or 775-265-0901.

MAAX WHIRLPOOL BATHTUB, 60”X32”X 24”D, paid $4,000, selling because of health, used four times, asking $1,500 (775)267-1770 LANCASTER CONSTRUCTION, WE SPECIALIZE in Re-leveling Mobile Homes, also replacing old metal exterior doors with new residential doors.

Give Phil Lancaster a call to schedule an appointment (775)720-4319 or (775)782-8785 DOING FALL CLEANING? FREE DROP OFF of Appliances, Unwanted Scrap, Hot Water Heaters, Etc. Free Abandoned Vehicle Removal, Licensed/ Bonded, D&L Dismantlers (775)246-3444

ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174

ASHFORD 32” TABLE LOOM WITH STAND AND four harness, four treadles, 2 reeds, 10, 12 dent, loom and stand fold (775)782-3818

A doctor was walking down the street one day when he noticed coming towards him one of his 85 year old patients with a very beautiful, well-built young lady on his arm. He was looking the happiest he had ever seen him. When the old guy noticed the doctor he went up to him and said, “Well Doc. I took your advice and look at me.” Puzzled, the doctor asked what the advice was.

“You told me to get a hot Mama and be very cheerful,” he replied.

“Oh no. I told you that you had got a heart murmur and to be very careful.”

ONE CALL AND YOUR PREFABRICATED GRANITE Counter/Tile installation issues are history! Quality Installation, Reasonable Prices, Bonded/ Licensed, CV Tile and Stone, James (775)220-6287 INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX Preparation, Federal and all States, Prior Years, Audit Representation, 30 Years Experience, Reasonable Rates (775)392-0418 MAINTENANCE FREE DECKS AND PATIO COVERS, knowledgeable, honest, professional service! Serving Northern Nevada for 18+ years! Free Quotes! K & C Construction, NV#0079034 (775)6916462

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Puzzled!

HIGH DESERT BARNS, CUSTOM STEEL BUILDINGS, Horse Shelters, Quality Barns built with 25 years of experience, highdesertbarns.com or (775)246-3004 G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, Prune, Fertilize, Aerate, Sprinklers, Summer Cleanup, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

23

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” 1993 CAMARO PARTS CAR, INTERIOR PLASTIC trim pieces, headliner, complete front and rear ends, and more, call with offers ready, phone or text (775)309-7900 BUYING OR SELLING REAL ESTATE? LET AN experienced, professional realtor guide you to a successful outcome. Contact Jim Darrough of Realty Executives, he can and will help you, nvrebroker@ charter.net or (775)790-4848

Handsome

When I was married, my wife used to call me handsome. As a matter of fact, we are now divorced but she STILL calls me handsome.

Every time I have some money, she says, HANDSOME OVER. MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 30 YEARS Experience! Serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351 SCHACHT TAPESTRY LOOM 25” WITH A-frame stand, instructions for assembly, warping and weaving $70 (775)782-3818

Marriage Counseling

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, “This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?”

The husband thought for a moment and replied, “Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Friday’s, I fish!”

WE BUY MOBILE HOMES, PARKS OR WITH land, NV# U2175 (775)815-1214

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Life Cycle of a Dandelion

It all starts with a seed. The seed of a dandelion is about 1/8 inch long, and if conditions are ideal the seed will begin to germinate (grow) right on top of the soil’s surface. Germination is more likely to happen if the soil is moist and has a temperature near 77 degrees F; however, seeds can still grow in soil temperatures as low as 50 degrees F. The more light, the more likely the seeds will germinate. The seedling stage, which is when the plant is first forming a crown of leaves near the ground (but before a stalk rises and forms a flower), lasts about eight to 15 weeks. At this same time, roots are growing into the soil several inches deep.

The dandelion can form a long hallow stalk that is 6 to 24 inches in length with a flower on top soon after the seedling stage. On top of the stalk grows a yellow flower head. Before this happens, dandelion plants can be mowed over or chomped on by grazing animals, but they will still thrive and will eventually grow flowers when given the opportunity. In fact, dandelion plants can grow over the years to be as large as 10 inches in diameter. Once the stalks do grow, dandelion flowers will grow.

Dandelion flowers change and develop into tiny seeds.

(Dandelions are asexual, so they do not need pollination

to reproduce.) The seeds are attached to structures that are shaped like parachutes called pappuses. When the wind blows, the pappuses carry the seeds for miles. The seeds land and the cycle begins again if conditions are right. In the meantime, the original dandelion plants go dormant in cold weather or keep on flowering in warm weather to make even more seeds.

GREAT HAIR DOESN’T HAPPEN BY CHANCE. It happens by appointment! Hair by Candi at C and Company, Minden, try something new, call now (775)434-4921 PROFESSIONAL LICENSED CAREGIVER SEEKING Employment in Minden, Gardnerville and surrounding areas. Around the clock care available! Certified in CPR, Emergency First Aid, Alzheimer’s, Dementia, Aging and Personal Care (775)901-3864 NEW HOT TUB COVER 7’ DIAMETER, 4” SKIRT, Tan/Brown, paid $500, sell for $250 OBO, ordered wrong size; Paramount Blade Edger with Blade Brake $25; Dayton (775)461-0488

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Quick Thinking...

One day, Bubba and Earl were driving down the road, drinking a couple of beers. The passenger, Bubba, said, “Lookey thar up ahead, Earl. It’s a po-leece roadblock.

We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!”

“Don’t worry, Bubba,” Earl said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers, peel off the labels and stick ‘em on our foreheads, then throw the bottles under the seat.”

“What fer?” asked Bubba.

“Just let me do the talking, okay?” said Earl. They finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat and slapped the labels on their foreheads.

When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff asked, “Have you boys been drinking?”

“No sir,” replied Earl. “We’re on the patch!”

ELECTRICAL PROBLEMS? MAKE THEM GO away! No job too small! New construction, remodels, service and repair, Pigman Electric, NV#73243, CA#610417 (775)721-9491 WANTED LICENSE PLATES, AUTO AND MOTORCYCLE, Motorcycle helmets 1940’s-70’s, Old signs and mining photos (775)315-4930

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VENDORS, CHESHIRE ANTIQUES HAS SPACE Available! 12,000 square foot store, furniture, jewelry, repurposed and more. Contact Karen, 1423 Hwy 395, Gardnerville (775)782-9117

PINGO!

Pumpkin plus Bingo, win GIANT pumpkins, $100 Wal-Mart cards! Saturday, October 15th. Doors open an hour prior to sessions: 1pm to 3pm, 4pm to 6pm, 3 games $1. Food! Everyone is invited!

CV United Methodist Church, 1375 Centerville Lane, Gardnerville (775)782-9960 JANS TROPICS AND ELEGANT POOCH, 50 YEARS serving Carson! Dog and Cat Grooming, Pet Supplies and Tropical Fish, 1000 Corbett St., Carson City (775)882-5659 or (775)882-4928 Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, Phone/Fax (775)782-4520

Social Security

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A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver’s license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. “I will have to go home and come back later.”

The woman says, “Unbutton your shirt.” So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair.

She says, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,” and she processed his Social Security application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office.

She says, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too!”

PORSCHE 911 or 912 WANTED, NEEDED! IF you have one that is taking up space and you would like to move it to a new home, have cash and a trailer (775)291-6827 16’ JET WOOD BANDSAW WITH 6 NEW BLADES, great condition, priced to sell $625 OBO; twp 450 watt speakers with Sony stereo, a deal at $150; industrial metal 4’x8’ storage racks $150 each; two vintage wagon wheels, double spoke, excellent condition $450/pair, call Kerry before 7:30pm (775)2328936 LARRY’S TRACTOR SERVICE, CLEANUP WORK, rototilling, backhoe, box scraper, dump trailer, rake, hole drilling, affordable rates (775)2672245 or (775)690-4632

Tahoe/Douglas Elks Annual Flea Market

Friday September 30th, 7am-3pm, and October 1st, 7am-2pm, collecting good quality items at the Lodge on Tuesdays and Thursdays, 9am–12pm, 1227 Kimmerling, Gardnerville Ranchos. For donations pick up call between 9am-6pm, Jim (310)874-4655, Ron (775)2671367 / (775)315-0146 or Neil (775)265-5120 RETIRED ELECTRICIAN, TO MY LOYAL CLIENTS; Recovering from shoulder surgery but will return. Meanwhile, please call with questions, John (775)781-7606 WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Chicken Surprise

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the ‘Chicken Surprise’, the waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

‘Good grief, did you see that?’ she asks her husband.

He hasn’t, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

‘Please sir,’ says the waiter, ‘what you order?’

The husband replies, ‘Chicken Surprise.’

‘Ah! So sorry,’ says the waiter, ‘I bring you Peeking Duck.’

GOT WOOD? SAMMY’S FIREWOOD, HONEST Quality Service, soft and hard wood, delivery available, located in Carson City, (775)315-0834 BRAND NEW SWING AWAY, OVER THE fender well, truck tool boxes, new over $500, sell $250, call between 8am-8pm (775)781-3767 2005 MORGAN SLANT LOAD TWO HORSE TRAILER, gently used, well maintained, good tires, electric brakes, tack room, two saddle rack, removable partition, giddyupgma@gmail.com or (775)3922168 NORTHERN NEVADA BOER GOATS, HOME of Champion Producing Sire Sudden Impact, Full Bloods Purebreds Percentages Kids available now, ichwawa395@aol.com, northernnvboergoats.com (775)781-0243 SHOWER/BATHTUB ENCLOSURES STARTING at $4,995, done with Sentrel Bath Systems, granite stone or marble look material. Figueroa’s Construction for your bathroom and kitchen/home improvements, Free Estimates, NV#58909, CA#678260 (775)782-3225 ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $399, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)3920994

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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

A Gathering of Local Authors

By Maggie Rusmisel, Library Technician

The Douglas County Public Library in Minden presents A Gathering of Local Authors on Wednesday, October 5th from 4:30pm to 6:30pm. This free event will feature appearances by Todd Borg and Mike White.

Other participating authors include: Mary Ansari; Ken Beaton; Tracy Clark; Tammy Grace; Sandie La Nae; Bill “Wade” Morgan; Mary Randall; Jerry and Janine Sprout; Lin Wilder; and Kimberly Wilkes. They will sell their books, meet readers, and sign autographs.

This event is sponsored by the Friends of the Douglas County Public Library. The Library is located at 1625 Library Lane in Minden. Connect with us on Facebook and Twitter, visit douglas.lib.nv.us, or call (775)7829841.

1963 17’ ALUMINUM HULL SMITH CRAFT Withtrailer, Evinrude 80 horse outboard, small trolling motor, two years since been in water $1,500 OBO (775)265-0742 HANDYMAN FOR ALL YOUR OUTSIDE NEEDS, yard cleanup, power wash, etc, minor jobs, free estimates, NV#11376PC (775)246-9899

WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL PACIFIC Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)882-3999 USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)2472539 SEW-WHAT UPHOLSTERY, SPECIALIZING IN Antiques and Leather, bring the life back to which it deserves, 40+ years experience, Carson Valley, Leslie (775)901-2035 PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, faux and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, powerspainting.org or (775)781-5531 or (775)315-5179 DASILVA’S HAULING/HANDYMAN SERVICES Cleanup, tree trimming/removal, rock and dirt removal, weed pulling, tractor service, handyman services, fence repairs and housecleaning, NV#03-19423 (775)230-3436 or (775)354-3328

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Charm School

Two nicely dressed ladies happen to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.

When the conversation centered on whether they had any children the California woman started by saying, “When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me.”

The lady from the South commented, “Well, isn’t that precious?”

The first woman continued, “When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful MercedesBenz.”

Again, the lady from the South commented, “Well, isn’t that precious?”

The first woman continued boasting, “Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.”

And again, the Southern lady commented, “Well, isn’t that precious?”

The first woman then asked the Southern lady, “What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?”

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“My husband sent me to charm school,” declared the Southern lady.

“Oh my God! What on earth for?”, asked the first woman.

The Southern lady responded, “Well for example, instead of saying “Who gives a sh*t?” I learned to say, “Well, isn’t that precious?”

KENMORE GAS DRYER IN EXCELLENT CONDITION, has LP jet fittings, exhaust tube, flex line, great deal at $150 Wellington (530)206-6200 TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, clipper blades, clipper repair, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079 1986 16’ BAYLINER BASS BOAT, NEW ELECTRIC trolling motor, pumps, battery, fish finder, AM/FM radio, good tires, spare, new seats, 85HP Force motor, runs great $3,500 OBO (775)342-9718 GOT ART? COME SEE OUR NEW SELECTION of Contemporary, Rustic frames, Lone Tree Frame Company, 1497 Hwy. 395 N., Gardnerville (775)7822522

Buying a Bra

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A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife” “What type of bra?” asked the clerk.

“Type?” inquires the man. “There is more than one type?”

“Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. “Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,” replied the salesclerk.

Confused, the man asked what were the types. The saleslady replied “The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?” Still confused the man asked, “What is the difference between them?” The lady responded, “It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.”

CUSTOM HOMES AND MORE; NEW CONSTRUCTION, Remodels, Garages, Decks, Carports, Concrete, Roofs, Fencing and Interior Finish, 30+ years experience in Carson Valley! Serving Carson Valley, Wellington and Surrounding Areas. Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Booth Custom Homes, NV#057010 (775)691-3300 LG REFRIGERATOR, BOTTOM FREEZER, 24.7 cubic feet, stainless steel $2,500; chest freezer, excellent condition $125; solid Oak, nook style dining set $200; solid oak computer center $150; full size bed with mattress $120; solid Oak entertainment center $130, Dayton (562)208-8888

Build Your Own Scarecrow ...

at the Scarecrow Festival Saturday Oct 1st, 2016 9am-3pm Heritage Park in Gardnerville. Sponsored by East Fork Gallery (775)782-7629 QUALITY QUILTS, CREATIVE CLOTH, FREE motion custom quilting, pantographs, and line designs to enhance your own quilt tops. Quilting and sewing classes, custom orders, private lessons, find us on Facebook (775)691-0533 PART TIME EMPLOYMENT, NON-PROFIT AGENCY; flexible hours working with seniors. Positions available in Topaz, Coleville, Walker and Bridgeport, California. Call for more information (530)495-2700

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Using a Crosswalk

I don’t know about you but time and time again I have observed people crossing streets in cross walks before traffic in both directions has stopped. They are either too busy on their phones to be paying attention to oncoming traffic or they assume when one vehicle stops, all of them will stop, but this is not the case. We hope the following information helps prevent an accident from happening.

Although a crosswalk exists at every intersection, whether marked or not, it is still your responsibility to make sure all vehicles have yielded before stepping into the crosswalk and crossing the roadway. Whenever approaching a crosswalk you should remove your earphones, turn off your music, and stop texting or talking on the phone. Be attentive when crossing. Distractions can lead to accidents.

Make your intention to cross the road known by extending your arm. Make eye contact with the driver(s).

NEVER ASSUME A DRIVER SEES YOU. Be especially alert for turning vehicles – many vehicle-pedestrian incidents occur with a right-turning vehicle.

MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, CURBING, Granite and Concrete, All Colors Available, Quality Work (775)720-1627

Compulsive Eaters Anonymous

A program to address compulsive eating; ALL are welcome. Mondays 5:15pm, Tuesdays 10am and Thursdays 5:15pm at St. Peter’s Episcopal Church, 314 N. Division St. Carson City. Contact (775)400-0098.

LK TOWNE CONSTRUCTION, residential commercial, remodel kitchens and bathrooms, NV License #0042503 bonded Ken Towne owner (775)8831256 or (775)720-8286 D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, snow removal, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)671-0808 MISCELLANEOUS MILLING MACHINE TOOLS, 8” rotary table, horizontal 6” table vise, 2 boring heads-indexing manual device, best offer (775)790-9611 EXPERIENCED HOT TUB REPAIR AND MAINTENANCE, monthly/bi-monthly, new custom covers available! Serving Carson Valley area, Carson Spa Care (775)230-5328

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1994 BUICK CENTURY SPECIAL, PAST FEW years, new fuel pump, water pump, starter, radiator, serpentine belt, alternator, clean inside and out $1,000 (775)266-3357 ELECTROLYSIS AND LASER FOR HAIR REMOVAL; Complimentary, confidential consultation.

30 years experience. Weekday, evening, Saturday appointments available, Sally Battista (775)782-6190 TOP CASH FOR ANTIQUE MINING, RAILROAD, Indian, Cowboy, Gambling Items; Lamps, Toys, Bottles, Advertising, Costume Jewelry, Indian and Mexican Tourist Jewelry, Glass Beads, Rhinestones any condition, please call Ron (775)782-3893 TOW BAR FOR CJ JEEP $100; FOUR FACTORY wheels for 1993 Jeep G.C. $50; Celestron Nexstar telescope $100 (775)782-5457 HOT TUB SERVICE AND REPAIR, WEEKLY AND Bi Weekly service, Reasonable Rates, Private Homes and Vacation Rentals, Call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tub’s (775)267-2490

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

33

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” LICENSED AND BONDED ELECTRICIAN, ADDITIONS, Remodels, Extra Outlets, Switches, Light Fixtures, Ceiling Fans, Trouble Shooting and Power Panel upgrades, etc., 18 Years Experience, Free Estimates, Senior Discount, NV#52647, Degenspark Electric (775)267-4229 The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers.

Holiday Craft Faire

Carson Valley United Methodist Church, Saturday, November 5th 9am-4pm, crafts, raffle baskets, silent auction, story time with Santa, kids market, bake shop, chili lunch, 1375 Centerville Rd, Gardnerville 1967 16’ VINTAGE TRAILER, FIELD AND STREAM, inside fixed up really cute, solar panel to run large fan and lights, completely furnished, extras $2,500 (775)267-5964 BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND recolored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (530)495-1641 or (775)233- 5297

Top 10 Signs That it is Time to Join E-Mailers Anonymous

10) You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom, and check your e-mail on the way back to bed. 9) Your firstborn is named Dotcom. 8) You turn off your modem and are suddenly filled with a feeling of emptiness, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one. 7) You spend half of a plane trip with your laptop on your lap, and your child in the overhead compartment. 6) You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access. 5) You find yourself typing ‘’com’’ after every period.com. 4) You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. 3) You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape. 2) You start tilting your head sideways to smile. 1) Immediately after reading this list, you share it with someone.

CUSTOM MASONRY, ONE BRICK AT A TIME, Commercial/Residential, 3+ Better Business Bureau rating, serving Carson Valley 12+ years, Free Estimates, M Sqrd Masonry, NV#200616647 and CA#924187, Marc Duryee (775)450-6219 or (775)783-4753

Happy Birthday Nevada! - October 31st 34

Borrowed the Car

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned.

There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, “I apologize for taking your car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience.

Here are two tickets for tonight’s concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and-western music star.”

Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from throughout the house, from basement to attic. And, there is a note on the door reading, “Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly born kid through college somehow, don’t I?” COMPLETE QUEEN WOOD BEDROOM set with headboard, night stands and dressers, no mattress $100 (775)463-4751

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

35

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” First Presidential Election

A BAD TILE JOB CAN BE LIKE A BAD HAIRCUT, but it doesn’t grow back, so don’t get hacked!

Done right the first time, Sundance Tile and Marble, NV#58795 (775)691-9954 FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)782-8776 WE HAVE A LARGE SELECTION OF NEW AND Used RV’s and a full parts and service department, Carson City RV, 4550 North Carson Street, North Highway 395 (775)882-8335 PICTURE FRAMING FOR EVERY BUDGET Let’s Make Framing Fun! No obligation design consultations. Sierra Custom Picture Framing, 1210 N. Carson Street, Carson City (775)883-5411 BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, Residential and Commercial, Multi Story Specialist, Mobile Blind Cleaning, Pressure Washing, Awning Cleaning, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)8836629

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In the wake of winning his country’s independence and then overseeing the formation of its government, George Washington thought he had done enough. He desperately wanted to go home and live a quiet life, but Americans wanted no one else to lead them. No other person was seriously considered. America’s first presidential campaign was really its citizens’ efforts to convince Washington to accept the office. Letters poured into Mount Vernon—from citizens great and small, from former comrades in arms, even from other shores.

Many told Washington that his country needed him more than ever and that there was no justification for his refusal. While he warmed slightly to the idea, he still told a friend, “I feel very much like a man who is condemned to death does when the time of his execution draws nigh.”

As specified by the Constitution, the President was chosen by the Electoral College. In 1788, the method for selecting electors was decided by each state legislature—by public vote in some states and by legislative selection in others. Each state had as many electors as senators and representatives. The election was administered only in ten of the states because Rhode Island and North Carolina had yet to ratify the Constitution and a quarreling New York failed to choose electors in time.

Each elector was given two votes to cast for President.

Washington received the support of every one of the electors, each of whom cast one of the two ballots for him. John Adams, who received thirty-four votes, was the runner-up and was thus named vice president.

Washington badly wanted to retire at the conclusion of his first term in 1792. He was now sixty years of age, his eyesight and hearing were deteriorating, and the peace and quiet of Mount Vernon beckoned.

But he slowly realized that it was not to be, for many crucial issues remained unresolved. For example, there were ongoing problems stemming from the continuing French-British rivalry. Additionally, the political schism between America’s northern and southern halves was so severe that there was even talk that the southern states might try to form a separate nation. Washington’s advisers warned him that the times were too volatile to risk surrendering the presidency to someone lacking his popularity and moderation. Thus, one more time he won an election with a unanimous vote. Adams was again elected vice president.

Thomas Jefferson, tired of endless jousting with Hamilton and frustrated with Washington’s tendency to side with his Treasury secretary, resigned his position as secretary of state in 1793. He was replaced by Attorney General Edmund Randolph, one of Washington’s close

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The Happy Hangover

friends. Jefferson had high political ambitions of his own that would require close watching. And Randolph would later break faith with his President.

C.F.I. CERTIFIED CARPET, HARDWOOD, VINYL, no charge for furniture or tear-out. Three year labor warranty! Residential and Commercial Competitive pricing, JS Flooring (775)267-4123 PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, Remodels, New Construction, Residential and Commercial, Since 1997, Bonded and Insured.

Guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441 FREE RIVER ROCK, MANY TONS, EXCELLENT condition, you load and remove, Bob/Wellington (775)781-0244 PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, Lawn care, Competitive Rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081

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Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.

Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian” He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son... what happened last night?”

“Well, you came home after 3 in the morning, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”

Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

His son replies, “Oh THAT! Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, ‘Leave me alone, I’m married!’”

THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)2655541 or (775)901-1848 NINE DRAWER CHEST, TWO NIGHTSTANDS, two nightstand table lamps $300 sold together; Goldtone metal headboard $50 (775)790-7728 GENEALOGY - THOROUGH RESEARCH OF FAMILY histories. A unique gift for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or yourself! www.

PersonalPedigree.com or Lisa (775)450-3175

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Welcome Open House Johnson Lane Baptist Church

We are having a chili cook-off right after morning services, Sunday, October 23rd, 2016, Sunday Service, 10:45am 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590 or (755)901-2407 JR’S POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE, ALL Quads, Dirt, Street Bikes, Chainsaws, Snowmobiles, Generators, any gas powered machines, 30 years experience! Dayton, jrpowersports.com or (775)2412530

PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free.

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Brain Teaser Answers

1. In 3 1/2 hours the alarm clock has become 14 minutes slow. At noon the alarm clock will fall behind approximately an additional minute. Its hands will show noon in 15 minutes.

2. The daughter should pick envelope 1. Unfortunately, she picked envelope 3. Statements 1 and 2 were false, and the only true statement was statement 3. If the check was in envelope 1, that would make statement 1 false, statement 2 false and statement 3 is the only true statement. If the check was in envelope 2, statements 1 and 2 would both be true. If the check was in envelope 3, statements 1 and 3 would both be true.

3. You ask each twin what would your brother say?.

This works because.... Well let’s say the correct path is on the left side. So say you asked the liar “What would your brother say?” Well, the liar would know his brother was honest and he would say the left side, but since the liar lies, he would say right. If you asked the honest twin the same question, he would say right, because he knows his brother will lie. Therefore, you would know that the correct path was the left!

4. The same three cats would do. Since these three cats are averaging one mouse per minute, given 100 minutes, the cats could catch 100 mice.

Caregivers Needed

Join our team of Caregivers and make a difference in the lives of seniors. Provide companionship and bring assisted living into their home. Full-time, part-time, days, nights, 12 hour, and 24 hour shifts available. Retired and mature adults encourage to apply. EOE Apply online eden-homecare.com (775)392-2000 HARDWOOD FLOORING WAREHOUSE CLEARANCE! Also Laminate, Vinyl Plank and Carpet at 20% - 50% off, Specials starting from .50 per square foot, Rogers Carpet One (775)267-2555 GREG’S SMALL ENGINE SERVICE AND REPAIR! All Lawn Mowers, Snow Blowers, Portable Generators, Tillers, Shredders; On Site Pick-Up and Delivery, Serving Carson City, Carson Valley, Dayton, Alpine County, Virginia City - gregtenbroeck@yahoo.com or visit us at gregsmallengine. com (775)790-0435 or (530)307-1132 HELP WANTED, EXPERIENCED PAINTERS, interior and exterior, wage dependent on experience, call Kevin (775)450-3305

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SCI GRADING EXCAVATING ROAD WORK, House Pads, Drainage and Erosion Control, Septic Systems and Pumping, Wet and Dry Utilities, Demolition, Water and Dump Truck Service, NV#076958, CA#954210, Erik Viksna (530)306-2647 or (775)6299000 RENEE’S UPHOLSTERY, FORMERLY OF SARAH’S, specializing in Motorcycle Seats, Furniture, Marine, Automotive, 20 years experience, rquell@ sbcglobal.net or (775)530-3941 WANTED: KNIVES, I WANT TO BUY POCKET, Folding, Hunting and Military Knives, Bayonets and Swords, interested in any Quantity, I pay in cash, Jeff (775)720-2577 ELLA K. LADEN, CPA, PROFESSIONAL, PERSONALIZED Service for all of your Tax and Bookkeeping needs, Reasonable Rates, 25 Years Experience (775)392-0074 MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 35 years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” JOB FAIRS! INTERVIEWS! Are you prepared?

A great resume is your key to success. Military discount. (DD214 required) Call The Resume Business now! (775)267-2711 VOICE AND PIANO LESSONS, BEGINNER to Advanced students, experienced teacher, performer, music degree. Call The Songlady! Carolyn Lancaster (775)720-1918 or (775)267-2582 MKD CONSTRUCTION, GENERAL ENGINEERING, concrete structures, concrete flat work, grading, roadway improvements, drainage, storm drains, underground utilities (water and sewer), paving, fencing, barrier rail, environmental improvements, Commercial and Residential Snow Removal, Excellent Reputation and References Available, NV#50061 and CA#818376, Mike (775)246-1900 or (775)3152416 WOOD STOVES - PELLET STOVES New/Reconditioned starting at $800 while supplies last. Showroom hours 9am to 4pm Monday thru Friday, 63 Laxalt Dr. Mound House, NV, www.bbqsandfireplaces.com or (775)241-2609

Happy October Birthdays!

We hope that your special day is full of fun, happiness and everything that you enjoy. Happy Birthday!

PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, References available, Boarding offered or visit your home; Horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065 NEW MOTORIZED WHEELCHAIR, NEVER used, includes hookups for oxygen and a basket $1,200 OBO (775)450-0759 COMPUTER PROBLEMS? ON SITE REPAIR and Training, PC and Network Configuration, Virus and Spyware removal, Serving Dayton and Carson, justin.nelson@goowy.com or call Justin (775)450-3735 10” COMET TABLE SAW, 5’X4’ VINYL windows $75 each (775)309-3639 FREE USED MOVING BOXES AND PACKING paper 775-782-0723

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WNC Driver Education

WNC offers a 30 Hour New Driver Education classes throughout the fall of 2016. In person class fee is $100. Fall in-person classes run four Saturdays in a row, extending an additional Saturday if one of the Saturdays falls on a legal holiday. Winter break classes will be held Tuesday - Friday. All in person class times are 8:30am-4:30pm with a 30 minute lunch break. Also included in our classes are guest speakers, when available are - law enforcement, insurance agents, DMV and sometimes a tire representative. Two things to remember all new drivers under the age of 18 MUST take a 30-Hour New Driver Education class to obtain a Nevada Driver’s License and most insurance companies will offer a discount upon successful completion of our nationally recognized Drive Right program.

Carson City - September 10th - October 1st, 2016; October 15th - November 19th, 2016 and December 27th - 30th, 2016.

Douglas - October 15th - November 19th, 2016 and December 27th - 30th, 2016.

Fallon - September 24th - October 15th, 2016 and December 27th – 30th, 2016.

Fernley - October 22nd - December 3rd, 2016 and January 3rd -6th, 2017

WNC continues to offer an on-line 30-Hour New Driver Education course. Cost $90 and students have up to 60 days to complete the course. Register at www. campusce.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4463 CHIZEK CONCRETE PUMPING, GROUT AND 3/4 line pump; Residential and commercial, prompt, dependable service, Brad (775)721-0055 DON’T HUMP IT, PUMP IT! OAK TV CONSOLE, HOLDS UP TO 40” $150; antique Oak English pub table with leaf $300; baker’s rack $35; solid Oak dresser with mirror $150; gun cabinet, holds ten guns $40 (775)782-5848 THE PURPLE AVOCADO GREAT GIFTS! Come see why we’re voted #1 Best Gift Shop! 904 N. Curry Street, Carson City or visit our website at thepurpleavocado.com or (775)883-6233 IS WINDOW CLEANING A PAIN? 40 YEARS EXPERIENCE, licensed and insured, Dave Adams Window Cleaning call for an over the phone price!

“The science of perfection” (775)241-2318

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Intruder

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, “Stop! Acts 2:38!”

(Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, “Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.”

“Scripture?” replied the burglar. “She said she had an ax and two 38’s!”

BLAZE KING WOOD BURNING STOVE AND caddie; two cords firewood, buyer load, package deal $650 (775)790-7745 HOLBROOK STATION MOBILE HOME AND RV Park; mobile homes for rent or rent to own, affordable, RV spaces available, $90 weekly or $275 monthly (775)266-4534

FOUR STUDDED SNOW TIRES, 205/55 R/16, 80% tread $100 (775)722-5126 NEED FABRIC? LARGEST FABRIC SELECTION in northern Nevada; upholstery, drapery, awning, vinyl, outdoor fabrics, custom bedding, area rugs, drapery hardware and full upholstery workroom, Acanthus Fabrics and Upholstery, 2562-B Silver State Pkwy, Minden, Acanthusfabrics.com (775)2671300 COMPLETE LANDSCAPING AND SNOW REMOVAL, RESIDENTIAL and Commercial, Weekly Maintenance, Tree Trimming, Emergency Repairs, Sprinklers/Drip, Pavers, Patios, Retaining Walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, www.davenportlandscape.com or (775)265-1491 or (775)721-8439 RENNER’S TRUE VALUE HARDWARE; Plumbing, Electrical, Post and Fence, Pre-mix Cement Bags, Toys, Pet Food, Household Cleaners, We have everything you need! Smith Valley, Wellington, TRE (775)465-2217

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WOODEN DINING TABLE WITH FIVE chairs, gently used $250; old milk cans $75; like new girls lavender Schwinn bike, stored inside $75 775-4632749 HOUSE CLEANING, SERVING DAYTON, Carson City areas, established in area over 20 years, honest, reliable, references on request, Linda (775)246-4383 ROAD APPLES R US! WE WILL MANAGE YOUR manure, for more information and photos please see our website ManureMaintenance.com or call Mark (775)600-3385 or Deborah (775)684-9819 $119 A LOAD PLUS DUMP FEE, J.R.’S HAULING, Junk and Trash, “Your Hometown Hauler Since 1996!” Carson Valley/Carson City (775)265-6813 PART TIME HELP WANTED NOW! WAITRESS/ Bartender, will train, Applications available at Iggy and Squiggy’s Trailerhood Grill and Bar, Holbrook Junction RUPERT’S GEMCUTTING AND JEWELRYUNIQUE Gifts, Custom Designing, Repairs. Specializing in Natural Stones and Precious Gemstone Jewelry, Carson City (775)882-5988

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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