November 2019 Scoop Online Edition

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home.

Dependable, affordable! Over 17+ Years Experience.

Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 DRIVE COMPANION CHAIR USED 4 TIMES, $75; Like new Medline large walker $50; Dresser 50”Hx20”W $40, Genoa (775)782-8789 HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK RESURFACING and repair, interior doors, windows and interior/exterior trim, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235 BATTLE BORN SMALL ENGINES, LOCATED AT 5460 US Hwy 50 East in Carson City, NV. Lawn mowers, trimmers, snow blowers, chainsaws, leaf blowers, tractor repair, trailer repair, along with welding and fabrication! Please give us a call at (775)434-7028 to schedule your service or repair. Competitive rates and friendly faces. We can’t wait to meet you.

RUGER SECURITY 9, NEVER FIRED, HOLSTER and clips included $500, Gardnerville (907)529-5777

RENT ME FOR FALL CLEANING, PUT A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove (775)2972320 $200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461 3 DRAWER BUFFET MADE OF SOLID RUSTIC WOOD, Bottom is 55”x18”x24”, removable bakers rack 52.5”x14”x42” $200 (775)841-7972 HYDRAULIC CYLINDER REPAIR AND REBUILD, All makes models and year, Commercial Equipment, Tractors, Log splitters, Farm equipment, Dump Trucks and Trailers, Boats and RVs, Welding and Machining, Ramco Fabrication, shawn@ramcofab.com or (775)267-7358 STEEL 16X6 WHEELS AND PLASTIC HUBCAPS for your Subaru snow tires, fits 1990-1999, 2005-2009, 2009 thru 2013 Crosstrek, Legacy, Forester and Outback $80 with caps (775)267-1515

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Best of Reno Presented by:

reno gazette journal

Seniors in Jail

Food for thought: Let’s put our seniors in jail, and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the seniors would have access to showers, hobbies, and walks, they’d receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheelchairs, etc. and they’d receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell. They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counseling, pool, and education, simple clothing, shoes, slippers, P. J.’s and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens. Each senior could have a P. C., T. V., Radio, and daily phone calls. There would be a board of directors, to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct, that would be strictly adhered to.

The “criminals” would get cold food, be left all alone, and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay $5,000.00 per month and have no hope of ever getting out. Justice for all.

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Flying Pig Flea Market

Our next dates will be Saturdays, November 2nd and December 7th and 8am-3pm and Sundays, November 3rd and December 8th, 9am-3pm, Fuji Park Building, Carson City. Be a vendor. Come to browse, for information call (775)882-4717 or (775)315-0008 STURDY, SOLID WOOD PLANK TABLE, NATURAL satin finish, Seats at least 6 people around the table $100 (775)841-7972 VINYL AND CARPET REMNANT SALE, ALSO SOME Luxury Vinyl Tile, in stock only, cash only, CJS Floors, 1420 Hwy. 395, Gardnerville (775)783-8178

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” A Wife’s Wishes

A despondent woman was walking along the beach when she saw a bottle on the sand. She picked it up and pulled out the cork. Whoosh! A big puff of smoke appeared.

“You have released me from my prison,” the genie told her. “To show my thanks, I grant you three wishes.

But take care, for with each wish, your mate will receive double of whatever you request.”

“Why?” the woman asked. “That bum left me for another woman.”

“That is how it is written,” replied the genie.

The woman shrugged and then asked for a million dollars. There was a flash of light, and a million dollars appeared at her feet. At the same instant, in a far-off place, her wayward husband looked down to see twice that amount at his feet.

“And your second wish?”

“Genie, I want the world’s most expensive diamond necklace.” Another flash of light, and the woman was holding the precious treasure. And, in that distant place, her husband was looking for a gem broker to buy his latest bonanza.

“Genie, is it really true that my husband has two million dollars and more jewels than I do, and that he gets double of whatever I wish for?”

The genie said it was indeed true.

“Okay, genie, I’m ready for my last wish,” the woman said. “Scare me half to death.”

Overboard

An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy.

They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.

They searched for days and couldn’t find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.

Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: “Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her arm was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000. Please advise.”

The old man faxed back: “Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.”

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MOVING SALE! ALL HOME FURNISHINGS and outdoor stuff must go! Priced to sell! October 24th thru 28th, start 8am to finish ???pm: TV Armoire with Flat Screen TV, Pine Hutch, Tea Tray Cabinet, Oak table w/6 chairs, Tempurpedic Mechanical Qbed, Recliner Sofa and Love Seat, Fabric Chaise Lounge, Antique Cedar Chest, 2 Chair/Table patio set, Misc. pine and oak cabinets. All kinds of Kitchen Wares, Small Appliances, Cookware, Dish/Glasses sets, Lots of Home Decor, Garden Tools, Wood Trailer, Reloading Stuff, etc. The list goes on, too much to detail. Come and see!!

30 Dry Canyon Road, Coleville, CA (530)495-9302 PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827

You’ll never believe this!

Little Johnny went with his mother for the first time to deliver lunches to the elderly.

Little Johnny kept staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.

He said, very softly, “The tooth fairy will never believe this!”

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Shhhhh....

A woman who plays cards once a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke her husband when she came home around 11:30.

One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom - only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading.

“Darn it woman!” he exclaimed. “Did you lose everything?”

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Come Join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church

Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 5pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590 GREAT CHRISTMAS GIFT! MARTIN AND COMPANY DXI Dreadnaught Guitar, no scratches, like brand new, includes guitar case, paid $1,000 new, sell for $500 (775)443-7485 WANTED: LICENSE PLATES AND FRAMES, WANTED: Musical instruments, Wanted: Motorcycle helmets 1940-1980, John (775)315-4930 MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501 FIREWOOD, SEASONED, SPLIT, ALMOND ONLY $420 a cord, cut to size, under 16”, 16”-18”, 18”-22”, delivery available, Jon (775)246-7186

October 31st- Nevada Day 7

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Tale of a Talkative Gent

Written By Karen Dustman Back in the day, a public school was, after all, a public building. So the local community embraced the early Fairview schoolhouse for other needs as well. Following its weekday job as a one-room schoolhouse, the building became a place to hold church on Sundays. Separation of church and state? No one evidently bothered their heads about such things.

And there’s a fun story about one of those religious gatherings in the Fairview School, preserved for us courtesy of Owen E. Jones. It seems that Abednego Johns, a pioneer Jacks Valley rancher, had arranged for two distinguished LDS ministers to come and preach at the schoolhouse one Sunday in late October during the 1880s. Mr. Johns, his wife, and the two visiting ministers — all “heavy-weighted persons” — clambered aboard Abednego’s wagon and journeyed south for the event. The Fairview school building was filled with neighbors, eagerly awaiting the out-oftown preachers. And then Mr. Johns stood up to introduce his guests.

Now, Mr. Johns was a “very splendid old gentleman,” Owen Jones tells us, whose “only fault was that, when he got to talking religion, he never knew when to stop.”

So after launching into an introduction of the two visiting Mormon ministers, Mr. Johns just -- kept on talking! By

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the time he finally ceded the floor, most of the assembled crowd had given up and left the building. The two preachers were forced to simply bid the stragglers good-bye and call it a night.

And that wasn’t entirely the end of Mr. Johns’ rather unfortunate evening. While his “fillibuster” droned on, some wag had decided to play a Halloween joke on the talkative gent. Slipping outside, the prankster swapped the front and back wheels of Johns’ wagon, then added a heavy sack of wet sand beneath the driver’s seat and tied another to the rear axle. When the non-preaching gathering finally was over, Johns and his guests boarded their wagon, only to endure an excruciatingly slow journey home in the dark.

They couldn’t figure out why the team was so exhausted — until, hours later, they finally made it home to Jacks Valley and discovered the prank.

Find Karen Dustman’s books on local history on Amazon.com and Clairitage.com.

A BAD TILE JOB CAN BE LIKE A BAD HAIRCUT, but it doesn’t grow back, so don’t get hacked!

Done right the first time, Sundance Tile and Marble, NV#58795 (775)691-9954 WELDERS! 150’ OF O/I WELDING LEAD WITH fittings, all or part, (775)849-3872

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And Who Are These For?

A nine-year old boy goes into the grocery store, grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register.

The cashier asks, “Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?”

“Nope,” says the boy, “not for my mom.”

The cashier responds, “Well, then they must be for your sister then?”

“Nope,” says the boy, “not for my sister, neither.”

The cashier is now curious, “Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister -- then who are they for?”

The nine-year-old says, “They’re for my little brother.

They say on TV, if you wear one of these, you can swim and ride a bike, and my little brother can’t do either of those things.”

ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $499, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994

Man: I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months. Friend: Why, you two fighting? Man: No, I just don’t want to interrupt her.

TWIN SOLID MAPLE EARLY AMERICAN COMPLETE bed set; Headboard, Footboard, Side rails and Mattress/Box Spring. Has been in guest bedroom and mattresses hardly used. Antique bed frame in good condition, $155 OBO (775)881-8909

PETS & PLANTS OFFERS EXPERT CARE FOR ALL of your living things while you’re away, including horses and other livestock. Experienced and responsible, references available, Serving Carson Valley, Tracey (775)721-7570

Not speaking

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Pearls of wisdom...

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. I am in shape. Round is a shape. Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. Stupidity got us into this mess -- why can’t it get us out? Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just stand there. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. It’s easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them. I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s an interesting path. In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday. My inferiority complex is not as good as yours. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes, age comes alone. Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

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GENEALOGY - THOROUGH RESEARCH OF FAMILY histories. A unique gift for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or yourself! www.PersonalPedigree.com or Lisa (775)450-3175 PAINTING BY ART - STAINING AND PAINTING done at affordable rates, personal service with 18 years experience, call for free estimate, Gardnerville (775)857-0532

Drivers Wanted

The Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for: Substitute School Bus Drivers, Starting Salary: $15.42/hour, Varied Hours up to 40 hours a week, Apply online: dcsd.k12.nv.us WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)7829192 ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, all water sports, furnished cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at eaglelakeheritage.com or (800)459-5179

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The Loss of Empathy in Society Today

There is a growing concern for the apparent decline of empathy in society today. A study by the University of Michigan found that college students today are showing less empathy than previous decades, a 40% decline in fact.

That is an alarming number.

Empathy is not the same as sympathy. Empathy is understanding how another person feels or putting yourself in their shoes. Sympathy is the acknowledgement of another’s hardship and providing them comfort and assurance.

There are 2 components to empathy; cognitive and emotional. Cognitive is the recognition or understanding part that drives us to identify another person’s thoughts and feelings, emotional is the reaction to someone’s thoughts and feelings that drive us to respond appropriately. Both components must be present in order for one to be capable of empathy. A psychopath may be capable of recognizing that someone is in pain, but lack the appropriate response to stopping one’s pain. It is thought that the point when one starts to treat someone as an object is when they can become capable of cruelty. We can explain human cruelty with the erosion of empathy.

There are many possible causes of human cruelty, such as Borderline Personality Disorders, genetics, hormones, and/or cultural roots, but social networking may be one of the main causes today. People are not interacting face to

face much anymore. They Facebook, text, chat online, but in order to be empathetic, one must learn to read others’ faces, particularly the eyes. People are not born with this ability, they develop it.

However, getting rid of technology is not the answer, but society must find a balance. Empathy is very valuable, maybe the most valuable resource for humanity. Empathy has the power to resolve conflict. In fact, it may be one of the most successful strategies and it costs nothing. (By: Christie Smith/College of Healthcare Professions) NEW 80 QUART RED COOLER ON WHEELS $80; Wrought iron table, 2 chairs $70, more items, call (775)392-1714 HANDY HAMILTONS HANDYMAN SERVICES, Experienced Handyman, Quality work at a fair price, Free estimates, Call Mark Hamilton (775)720-9595

Flea for your life

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “the man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.”

His son asked, “but what happened to the flea?’

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Be thankful for what you have

HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30+ years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick–up and delivery, parts in one day! californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521

New Music Store

The Lizard Lounge Music and Shoppe. Repairs, Consignment, Lessons, Official Whites Metal Detectors Dealer, Metal Detecting Lessons and Field Trips, Follow us on Facebook, 1302 Langley Drive Suite #1, Gardnerville Ranchos (775)392-4321 $69 SERVICE CALL, ACADEMY APPLIANCE Service; washers, dryers, refrigerators, ranges, dishwashers, compactors, some areas extra charge, Serving Carson Valley (775)781-4725 1991 SUBARU LOYALE, AWD, BATTERY CD/STEREO, timing chain is history, everything else is good $400 (775)266-3436 PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, inside or out, Fences (775)901-1912

November 3rd- Daylight Saving Ends 12

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: “I am blind, please help.”

There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were.

The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, “Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?”

The man said, “I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.” I wrote: “Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it.”

Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1,000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling. And even more beautiful, is knowing that you are the reason behind it!

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Fire!!!

“Send someone over quickly!” the old woman screamed into the phone. “Two naked men are climbing towards my bedroom window!”

“This is the Fire Department, lady,” the voice replied.

“I’ll have to transfer you to the Police Department.”

“No, it’s YOU I want!” she yelled. “They need a longer ladder!”

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Building Stress Resilience

November can be a stressful time especially with the holidays approaching. I want to emphasis building stress resilience as the goal rather than stress management. And this begins with nutrition. It is well known through extensive blood sugar monitoring that fluctuations in insulin levels lead to feelings of stress, depression, and insomnia.

Balancing your blood sugar levels is critical in controlling stress. Avoiding high glycemic foods such as refined flours, sugars, and simple carbohydrates will reduce spikes in your blood sugar levels. A diet rich in whole foods will eliminate possible erratic blood sugar levels and greatly improve your stress response and promote a calm nervous system. Increasing your veggies will increase your potassium intake which supports your adrenal gland and aids in detoxification. Avoiding high sodium foods will also support your adrenal glands. Eat plenty of whole berries and raw nuts which provides healthy fats, zinc, selenium, and antioxidants to support oxidative stress. Choose high quality animal and plant proteins. Include prebiotics and probiotics for healthy gut flora, and incorporate cilantro, turmeric, black pepper and ginger which bind to many toxins and heavy metals. Eating smaller and more frequent meals takes the load off your adrenals. Finally, be mindful when you have a meal; take your time, avoid distractions, eat slowly, and chew thoroughly to allow your body to adequately digest.

The primary goal is to strengthen your stress-fighting mechanisms and prepare your body to cope with ever changing and sometimes chaotic lives we lead. Miriam is a Certified Wellness Coach and Holistic Nutrition Consultant. www.positivelywhole.com.

THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848 SEARS KENMORE GAS DRYER, 10 YEARS OLD, works good $40, don’t need anymore, needed electric one, Lake Topaz (209)559-9616

Making A Small Fortune

Question: What’s the best way to make a small fortune in the stock market? Answer: Start off with a big one.

CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you.

Please leave clear message and phone number, Joanne (775)465-9422

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The Thanksgiving Story for the Young and Old

Saying prayers...

Every evening, a mother and her young son, knelt down beside his bed so he could say his prayers. One night, obviously bored with the same old prayer, the little boy said this: “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake......can I have breakfast with you in the morning?”

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Most stories of Thanksgiving history start with the harvest celebration of the pilgrims and the Native Americans that took place in the autumn of 1621. Although they did have a three-day feast in celebration of a good harvest, and the local natives did participate, this “first thanksgiving” was not a holiday, simply a gathering. There is little evidence that this feast of thanks led directly to our modern Thanksgiving Day holiday. Thanksgiving can, however, be traced back to 1863 when Pres. Lincoln became the first president to proclaim Thanksgiving Day. The holiday has been a fixture of late November ever since.

However, since most school children are taught that the first Thanksgiving was held in 1621 with the Pilgrims and Indians, let us take a closer look at just what took place leading up to that event, and then what happened in the centuries afterward that finally gave us our modern Thanksgiving.

The Pilgrims who sailed to this country aboard the Mayflower were originally members of the English Separatist Church (a Puritan sect). They had earlier fled their home in England and sailed to Holland (The Netherlands) to escape religious persecution. There, they enjoyed more religious tolerance, but they eventually became disenchanted with the Dutch way of life, thinking it ungodly. Seeking a better life, the Separatists negotiated with a London stock company to finance a pilgrimage to America. Most of those making the trip aboard the Mayflower were non-Separatists, but were hired to protect the company’s interests. Only about one-third of the original colonists were Separatists.

The Pilgrims set ground at Plymouth Rock on December 11, 1620. Their first winter was devastating. At the beginning of the following fall, they had lost 46 of the original 102 who sailed on the Mayflower. But the harvest of 1621 was a bountiful one. And the remaining colonists decided to celebrate with a feast – including 91 natives who had helped the Pilgrims survive their first year. It is believed that the Pilgrims would not have made it through the year without the help of the natives. The feast was more of a traditional English harvest festival than a true “thanksgiving” observance. It lasted three days.

Governor William Bradford sent “four men fowling” after wild ducks and geese. It is not certain that wild turkey was part of their feast. However, it is certain that they had venison. The term “turkey” was used by the Pilgrims to mean any sort of wild fowl.

Another modern staple at almost every Thanksgiving table is pumpkin pie. But it is unlikely that the first feast included that treat. The supply of flour had been long diminished, so there was no bread or pastries of any kind.

However, they did eat boiled pumpkin, and they produced a type of fried bread from their corn crop. There was also no milk, cider, potatoes, or butter. There was no domestic cattle for dairy products, and the newly-discovered potato was still considered by many Europeans to be poisonous.

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But the feast did include fish, berries, watercress, lobster, dried fruit, clams, venison, and plums.

This “thanksgiving” feast was not repeated the following year. Many years passed before the event was repeated.

It wasn’t until June of 1676 that another Day of Thanksgiving was proclaimed. On June 20 of that year the governing council of Charlestown, Massachusetts, held a meeting to determine how best to express thanks for the good fortune that had seen their community securely established. By unanimous vote they instructed Edward Rawson, the clerk, to proclaim June 29 as a day of thanksgiving. It is notable

that this thanksgiving celebration probably did not include Native Americans, as the celebration was meant partly to be in recognition of the colonists’ recent victory over the “heathen natives,” (see the proclamation). By then, it had become apparent to the settlers that the natives were a hindrance to their quest for more land, so the goodwill they shared at the first feast had long been lost.

A hundred years later, in October of 1777 all 13 colonies joined in a thanksgiving celebration. It also commemorated the patriotic victory over the British at Saratoga. But it was a one-time affair. Continued...

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In Praise of Women Who Read!

George Washington proclaimed a National Day of Thanksgiving in 1789, although some were opposed to it.

There was discord among the colonies, many feeling the hardships of a few pilgrims did not warrant a national holiday. And later, President Thomas Jefferson opposed the idea of having a day of thanksgiving.

It was Sarah Josepha Hale, a magazine editor, whose efforts eventually led to what we recognize as Thanksgiving. Hale wrote many editorials championing her cause in her Boston Ladies’ Magazine, and later, in Godey’s Lady’s Book. Finally, after a 40-year campaign of writing editorials and letters to governors and presidents, Hale’s obsession became a reality when, in 1863, President Lincoln proclaimed the last Thursday in November as a national day of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving was proclaimed by every president after Lincoln. The date was changed a couple of times, most recently by Franklin Roosevelt, who set it up one week to the next-to-last Thursday in order to create a longer Christmas shopping season. Public uproar against this decision caused the president to move Thanksgiving back to its original date two years later. And in 1941, Thanksgiving was finally sanctioned by Congress as a legal holiday, as the fourth Thursday in November.

Visit sierrascoop.com/jobs 16

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, ‘Good morning, Ma’am.

What are you doing?’

‘Reading a book,’ she replies, (thinking, ‘Isn’t that obvious?’)

‘You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,’ he informs her.

‘I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading’.

‘Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.’

‘For reading a book,’ she replies, ‘You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,’ he informs her again.

‘I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading.’

‘Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.’

‘If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with Sexual assault,’ says the woman.

‘But I haven’t even touched you,’ says the game warden.

‘That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.’

‘Have a nice day ma’am,’ and he left.

BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND recolored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (775)233- 5297 LAWN MAINTENANCE SERVICE, YARD CLEANING, mowing, sprinkler repairs, thatching, tree trimming, pruning, low prices with high quality, Martin M. Maintenance Services (530)721-5350 TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, clipper blades, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

17

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” New Exercises for Older People

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can.

Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day, you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks.

Then try 50-lb potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

(I’m at this level) After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

STOYS TOWN TANK, MAX.W.P 200PSI MD#140 S.H. 154 ASME #3020 Model #Y5B-60, SRR#072783142 motor, part #6-360635-04 HP5, RPM1750, Ph-1 volts 230 Type CP (775)265-2578 HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/ INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)691-5119

Happy November Birthday Nick!

Refurbish / Re-luster Kitchen Cabinetry In & Out 3 Day-Service

Refurbish / Re-luster Kitchen, Bathroom and office cabinets. Don’t paint or refinish your cabinets at 5 times the cost, until you look at our service! Our process is less intrusive and far less costly.

We are exclusive in this trade and have priority products to enhance, renew and refurbish your wood cabinets. The highest UV and driest climate in the US, including hard water, plus wear and tear is damaging your finish.

We rejuvenate your finish with heavy cleaning and ends with a final over coat to protect. Our no mess system is dustless and EPS compliant.

We work 9am to 4pm and clean-up after every afternoon, getting your kitchen returned.

We take only 3 days, in and out! State licensed, insured, 3-year limited warranty.

For photos and customer testimonials, visit www.houzz. com and search for “Cabinets Etc By Design, Gardnerville, NV” Don’t hesitate to call us and reference information. Cabinets Etc. By Design, NV. Lic. #18331 /CA. Lic. #310071. Dana Ayler (775)782-7821 or (775)781-7462.

RESIDENTIAL CLEANING, LICENSED, BONDED and insured with references, Free estimates, great cleaning, fair prices, Samantha (775)220-4252

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A son (as you now know) is certainly the best asset that any parent can have and is an offset to the liabilities that life has thrown. Because of you son, I have been reaping the rewards as well as the gains of purest love there can ever be. I love you and may you have a wonderful birthday celebration! Love you always, Ma BEST QUALITY REPAIR OF CRACKS BY USING stucco and painting, Leon (775)790-0069 GOT WOOD? SAMMY’S FIREWOOD, HONEST Quality Service, soft and hard wood, delivery available, located in Carson City (775)315-0834

Thanksgiving Blessings

All the grandkids were visiting for Thanksgiving. Before dinner, Grandma made a lengthy speech about being thankful for her extra-special blessings, her four grandchildren.

Two seconds after she stopped speaking, all hell broke loose and the kids were yelling and grabbing for the homemade rolls.

Grandma sat there, eyes closed with a tight squint on her face. When asked what was the matter, she replied, “I’m just praying for a little patience to handle all these blessings.”

FOUR R265/40/22 TIRES AND RIMS, 5 LUG, LIKE NEW $800 OBO (775)430-1361

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

St. Gall Holiday Mini Holiday Sale

Featuring holiday items! November 9, 2019, 9am-3pm, 1343 Centerville Lane, Gardnerville, NV (775)782-2852.

No Strollers, Utility Carts, Shopping Carts, Wagons, Service Animals Only.

In the spirit of the season we will have a bin available for canned goods for our local Food Closet/Christmas cards available for sending message to troops.

SEW-WHAT UPHOLSTERY, CUSTOM work, leather and antiques, 40+ years experience, Carson Valley, Leslie (775)901-2035 CASH FOR COWBOY HATS (775)762-2220

Anyone Here

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that by mistake happened to end up in a man’s head.

She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet.

“Hello?” she cried, but no answer.

“Is there anyone here?” she cried a little louder, but still no answer.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and again she yelled: “HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE!!?”

Then she heard a voice from far, far away: “Hello!

We’re down here...”

Love for the In-Laws

FIREWOOD, DOUGLAS FIR, BURNS CLEAN, LITTLE ASH, $350 cord, delivery available (775)291-9805 or (775)309-3639

MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 34 YEARS experience! Serving Carson Valley and surrounding areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351

WINCHESTER PRE 1964 MODEL 70, FEATHER weight, caliber 30/06, includes factory butt plate, folding rear sight, hood on front sight, German 4 power scope with Post Reticle, 3 boxes ammunition with Nosler bullets, reloading dies, 1 pound powder, primers, Sierra and Nosler bullets, cleaning rod and trigger lock; note: return callers, please slowly give your name and correct phone number (775)265-5961

My wife told me that I did not love any of her relatives...

I told her that is not true. I said, “I love your mother-inlaw and father-in-law much more than I love mine.”

1840’S BELGIAN MADE PARLOR RIFLE, SINGLE SHOT 22 L falling block $250 Dayton (530)305-3079

19

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Diary of a Snow Shoveler

The Competition

Wikipedia: “I know everything.” Google: “I have everything.” Facebook: “I know everybody.” Internet: “Without me you’re nothing.” Electricity: “Keep talking losers.”

WANTED – NEW OR USED: KNIVES – FOLDING, Hunting, Military; Tobacco Pipes, Old Coleman Lanterns, Old Backpacking Stoves, Jeff (775)720-2577 J’S HANDYMAN SERVICE, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR, Landscape, Experienced, Quality Work, Free Estimates, call or text owner/operator Jeremy Rickerson (775)901-3069

Berean Bible Church, Christ Alone!

Introducing Pastor Luke Wartgow - Sunday Worship Service 9:30am; Children’s Sunday School provided.

Women’s Bible Study –Friday’s 8am; Men’s Bible Study – Fridays 8am; CoEd Bible Study – Tuesdays 5pm. 1516 Hwy. 395, Gardnerville (in the HAAS Center) bereanbible. church or call (775)782-3931 WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, bensonfeed.com, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)882-3999

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Back by popular demand!

December 8: It started to snow. The first snow of the season, and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print.

So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever had.

I shoveled snow for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again! What a perfect life.

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow.

Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we’ll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll never want to see snow again. l don’t think that’s possible. Bob is such a nice man - I’m glad he’s our neighbor.

December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8” last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. l didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I’ll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn’t huff and puff so.

December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that’s silly. We aren’t in Alaska, after all.

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell.

The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove, but won’t admit it to her. God I hate it when she’s right. I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20: Electricity’s back on, but had another 14” of stupid snow last night. More shoveling. Took all day. That stupid snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re too busy playing hockey. I think they’re lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they’re out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they’re lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he’s lying. Continued...

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she’s an idiot. If I have to watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” one more time, I’m going to kill her.

December 26: Still snowed in. Why the heck did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She’s really getting on my nerves.

December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in.

THAT WOMAN is driving me crazy!!!!!

December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That’s the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. 9” predicted.

December 31: Set fire to what’s left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

COUPLES THERAPY GARDNERVILLE: LONGER sessions, faster results. Book a free 20-minute consultation with Margaret at drdixonpsych.com or call (775)220-8817

December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it’s so cold it probably won’t melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to use the restroom. By the time I got undressed, went and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he’s too busy. I think the jerk is lying.

December 23: Only 2” of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts? Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did, but I think she’s lying.

December 24: 6” today. Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the jerk who drives that snowplow, I’ll drag him through the snow by his hair. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at about 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I’ve just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for that stupid snowplow.

December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then

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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

BATTLE BORN BLADE SHARPENING: BARBERS, Stylists and Pet Groomer Tool Sharpening, Sales and Service, Knives Sharpened and Repaired (775)238-3343 6’ CEDAR DOG EAR FENCE BOARDS, WEATHERED, approximately 400 $112; 1 18HP Briggs & Stratton engines, need TLC or use for parts $10 each, evenings (775)465-1144

Handy around the house

Susie: My husband is a great handyman. He can repair almost anything.

Jane: My mother always taught me to beware of the man that can fix everything. You’ll never get anything new.

New Hearing Aid

Dave: I got this great new hearing aid the other day.

Mary: Are you wearing it now? Dave: Yup. Cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s top of the line. Mary: Wow! What kind is it? Dave: Twelve-thirty.

G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672

November 11th- Veterans Day

CHAR-BROIL TWO BURNER NATURAL GAS BBQ $50; three section wood bookcase/writing desk ten bookshelves, two lower cabinets each section 30”x74” $75, pictures e-mailed on request (775)762-2220 FRESH ROASTED GARLIC JAM, CARROLS CORNER, South Yerington, Delivery Available, for more information (775)846-8972 or (775)463-1265 VINTAGE WEDGEWOOD GAS AND STOVE/OVEN $800 OBO (775)265-2059

WOOD

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

The Bath

“To all you Moms out there...”

Dear Kids, Don’t be alarmed, the world isn’t coming to an end. I am simply taking a bath. It will take about thirty minutes and will involve soap and water. Yes, I know how to swim. Even if I didn’t, forcing myself to drown in a halfinch of lukewarm water is more work than I’ve got energy for (Which reminds me, I’m all for science projects, but the next time you want to see if Play-Doh floats, use cold water).

Don’t panic if I’m not out right on time. I’ve heard that people don’t dissolve in water and I’d like to test the theory. While I’m in the tub, I’d like you to remember a few things. The large slab of wood between us is called a door. Do not bang to hear my voice. I promise that even though you can’t see me, I *am* on the other side. I’m not digging an escape tunnel and running for the border, no matter what I said a while ago. I didn’t mean it. Honest.

There will be plenty of time later to tell me about your day. “Later” means at a time when I am no longer naked, wet, and contemplating how bubble gum got into the blow dryer.

I know you have important things to tell me. Please let one of them be that you have invented a new way to blow bubbles, not a new way to add gum to your hair. Believe it or not, shouting, “TELEPHONE!” through the closed

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bathroom door will *not* make the phone stop ringing.

Answer it and take a message.

Since Mind-Reading Mom has the day off, you’ll need to write that message down. Use paper and a pencil. Do not use your brother and the laundry marker. We can’t send him to school with telephone number tattoos. Water makes me wet, not deaf. I can still tell the difference between the sound of “nothing” and the sound of a child playing the piano with a basketball. I can also hear you tattling at the top of your lungs. I’m *choosing* NOT to answer you.

Don’t call your dad at work and tell him I am unconscious in the bathroom. He didn’t appreciate it last time.

He won’t appreciate it more this time. Trust me. No matter how much I would like it, water does not make me forgetful. I remember who you are and why you are grounded.

No, you can’t go to Shelby’s house to play. No, you can’t go to Shelby’s house to use the bathroom. If someone is in our other bathroom, you will just have to think dry thoughts and wait.

Unless you have four feet and a tail, do not think of going outside to “water” the lawn. I know the dog does it.

The neighbors don’t feel the need to call me when the dog does it. Unless the house catches on fire, stay inside and keep the doors locked. Do not go outside and throw rocks at the bathroom window to get my attention. I know it works in the movies. This is reality, the place where people

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don’t like to sit in a tub while rocks and broken glass rain in on them. Do not set the house on fire.

Call me if there is an emergency. Emergencies ARE: 1.

Dad has fallen off the roof. 2. Your brother and/or sister is bleeding. 3. There’s a red fire engine in front of our house.

Emergencies are NOT: 1. Dad has fallen asleep. 2.

Someone on TV is bleeding. 3. There’s a red truck in front of our house.

One other thing: Being forced to use the last roll of toilet paper for a towel does not make me happy. It makes me sticky with little white polka dots. In the future, when the tub overflows, use a mop to clean up the water instead of every towel in the house. For my sanity’s sake, let’s pretend it was the tub, Okay? No, I don’t want to hear the real story. Ever. Especially not while I’m standing in the pool of water you missed.

By the way, all Play-Doh experiments are hereby canceled. Be good. Entertain yourselves. Yes, you can do both at the same time. Try coloring, playing a game, or paying that stack of bills on the coffee table. I’ll be out soon.

Maybe. Love, your Mom PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373

GET FAST INTERNET! UP TO 40 MBPS, WIRELESS! (not satellite, not DSL). Great in rural areas, www.rural-internet.us or call Patrick (775)297-4777

If you loved me...

Wife: Oh, come on. Husband: Leave me alone! Wife: It won’t take long. Husband: I won’t be able to sleep afterwards. Wife: I can’t sleep without it. Husband: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?

Wife: Because I’m Hot. Husband: You get hot at the darndest times.

Wife: If you loved me I wouldn’t have to beg you. Husband: If you loved me you’d be more considerate. Wife: You don’t love me anymore. Husband: Yes I do, but let’s forget it for tonight. Wife: (Sob-Sob) Husband: All right, I’ll do it.

Wife: What’s the matter? Need a flashlight? Husband: I can’t find it. Wife: Oh, for heaven’s sake, feel for it! Husband: There! Are you satisfied? Wife: Oh, yes, honey. Husband: Is it down far enough? Wife: Oh, that’s fine.

Husband: Now go to sleep. The next time, it’s your turn to get up and turn the thermostat down. Wife: Yes, honey SMITH VALLEY IRRIGATION – SERVING NEVADA and Sierra Communities for 40 Years with Ag Irrigation Systems and Parts (775)465-2316

25

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

The Impact of E-Cigarettes on the Lung

Provided by Alpine County Public Health A study from the University of North Carolina found that the two primary ingredients found in e-cigarettes – propylene glycol and vegetable glycerin – are toxic to cells, and that the more ingredients in an e-liquid, the greater the toxicity.

E-cigarettes produce a number of dangerous chemicals including acetaldehyde, acrolein, and formaldehyde. These aldehydes can cause lung disease, as well as cardiovascular (heart) disease.

E-cigarettes also contain acrolein, a herbicide primarily used to kill weeds. It can cause acute lung injury and COPD and may cause asthma and lung cancer.

Both the U.S. Surgeon General and the National Academies of Science, Engineering and Medicine have warned about the risks of inhaling secondhand e-cigarette emissions, which are created when an e-cigarette user exhales the chemical cocktail created by e-cigarettes.

In 2016, the Surgeon General concluded that secondhand emissions contain, “nicotine; ultrafine particles; flavorings such as diacetyl, a chemical linked to serious lung disease; volatile organic compounds such as benzene, which is found in car exhaust; and heavy metals, such as nickel, tin, and lead.”

The Food and Drug Administration has not found any

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e-cigarette to be safe and effective in helping smokers quit.

If smokers are ready to quit smoking for good, they should call 1-800-QUIT NOW or talk with their doctor about finding the best way to quit using proven methods and FDAapproved treatments and counseling. (American Lung Association) CUSTOM MASONRY, ONE BRICK AT A TIME, Commercial/Residential, 3+ Better Business Bureau rating, serving Carson Valley 12+ years, Free Estimates, M Sqrd Masonry, NV#200616647 and CA#924187, Marc Duryee (775)450-6219 or (775)783-4753 INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX preparation, Federal and all States, prior years, audit representation, 30 years experience, reasonable rates (775)392-0418 CHRISTMAS TRAIN SALE: 130-HO freight cars, mint-in-box, all road names, at $5.00 each. Lionel HO cars, over-100, all new at $10.00 each. Need more?

Large collection of Lionel/Flyer/Marx trains from my Tahoe-Museum. (1944-2004) Stored since 1975, all reasonable and displayed locally, enhance your train-layout for Santa, Call Ron at (530)544-2622

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The Dog Food Diet

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Dog Chow for Socks the wonder dog and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?

I’m retired now, with some spare time on my hands. So, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, and that I was starting the Dog Food Diet again. Although I probably shouldn’t, because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially the perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Dog Chow nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try the diet again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no. I stepped off a curb to sniff a Golden Retriever and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

The manager won’t let me shop there anymore....

QUALITY HOME MAINTENANCE AND IMPROVEMENTS, prompt, honest and reliable, fair pricing, all work guaranteed, call for free estimate and visit! Frank (775)309-7299 HOT TUB SERVICE, WEEKLY AND BI WEEKLY service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, hot tub cover sales, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)267-2490 RUSSELL’S TREE SERVICE, #1 ARTISTRY TREE Care; Shaping, Balancing, Removals, Stump Grinding, Fruit Trees, Hedges, Ornamental Pruning, now Serving your area, Licensed/Insured (775)685-0528 LOTS OF GREAT ITEMS! YARD TOOLS, MISC. hardware, oak dining table and chairs, 2 refrigerators, Craftsman table saw, light fixtures, vacuum cleaners, etc... all for $500, must take all, by appt. only, items located in Johnson Lane area Minden, call Jim or John, leave message (775)267-9391 MOUNTAIN DESERT BUILDERS: SPECIALIZING in remodels, one room to the entire home, including decks, windows, doors, siding and trim, Lic.#83159, Call Eamonn (775)781-4753

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Must help the wife

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office.

“Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”

“We’re short-handed, Smith” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.”

“Thanks, boss,” says Smith “I knew I could count on you!”

HANDYMAN SERVICE – HOME REPAIRS, FENCING Repair/Replacement, Hauling, Trash Removal, Shrub and Tree Trimming and Removal, and Weed Removal, Free Estimates (775)781-1747 BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, snow removal, Call Unlimited for a clear view!

(775)883-6629 CD’S - QUEEN, LED ZEPPLIN AND MORE, new condition 775-782-7476

HARASSING OR CHASING WILD HORSES IS AGAINST THE LAW! Happy November Birthdays!

This is your special day and we hope you see this day as more than just a reminder that you are getting older, but as an amazing opportunity for you to gather with family and friends, have fun and relive all the amazing memories of the previous years! Happy birthday to you!!

NEW WHITE PET DOOR FOR SMALL DOGS, adjusts to standard sliding glass doors $80 (775)762-2220 MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627 PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, faux and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, (775)781-5531 or (775)315-5179 TOP OF THE LINE SCHWINN XR7 EXERCYCLE, gold in color, mint condition $250 OBO; 1.5 feet high oriental round glass table with four seats $225 OBO (775)461-0418 ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174

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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

29

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

The School Telephone

(This is especially for teachers.) Here is the message that supposedly a California High School staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine.

This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children’s absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children’s failing grades changed to passing grades even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.

This is the actual answering machine message for the school: “Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:” “To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1” “To make excuses for why your child did not do his/her workPress 2” “To complain about what we do - Press 3” “To swear at staff members - Press 4” “To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5” “If you want us to raise your child - Press 6” “If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7” “To request another teacher for the third time this year- Press 8” “To complain about bus transportation - Press 9” “To complain about school lunches - Press 0” “If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it’s not the teachers’ fault for your child’s lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!”

FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)782-8776

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QUALITY HOME MAINTENANCE AND IMPROVEMENTS, prompt, honest and reliable, fair pricing, all work guaranteed, call for free estimate and visit! Frank (775)309-7299

Is it safe to drink old bottled water?

Old water is more likely to become contaminated with bacteria. Studies have also shown that some plastic water bottles will leach plastic chemicals into the water if placed into storage for too long. These chemicals have been shown to cause cancer in some laboratory animals.

Most commercial bottled water is marked with a shelf life of two years. As long as each individual bottle remains sealed, it should be drinkable. Opened bottles of water should not be consumed if stored for over a week.

Each container of commercially bottled water should have an expiration date stamped on it. For single-serving bottles of water, look near the cap on top of the bottle. For cases or pallets of water, look underneath at the cardboard packaging.

Even if the water is unsafe for human consumption or has picked up an odd smell or taste in storage, you don’t need to throw it out. You can use the water on your plants, for example, or stash a few bottles in your car to use in your radiator in case of emergency.

HANDYMAN FOR ALL YOUR OUTSIDE NEEDS, yard cleanup, power wash, fence repair, minor jobs, free estimates, NV#11376PC (775)246-9899 VOICE AND PIANO LESSONS, BEGINNER to Advanced students, experienced teacher, performer, music degree. Call The Songlady! Carolyn Lancaster (775)720-1918 PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

Why We Vote in November

Old man walks up and says, “For sixty years I’ve been trying to figure out why we vote in November. Finally figured out the answer this year.”

“Why’s that?”

“Better selection of turkeys!”

Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, (775)782-4520

PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441 G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672 PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Living with Parkinson’s

Ad in paper!

A man put an advertisement in the classifieds: “Wife Wanted.” The next day he got a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

GREATER HEALTH IS WITHIN YOUR REACH! Customized Wellness Coaching and Nutrition Consulting. Wellness Coaching, Whole Body Tune-up, Healthy Weight Management, Meal Planning, and more. Call now for complimentary consultation. www.positivelywhole.com (702)460-7205 I’M SPECIAL - COMMERCIAL/HISTORICAL, recreational, fully furnished duplex on Markleeville Creek. For sale by owners, view on airbnb.com “Miners’ Mountain Inn.” Recently reduced - best offer, one of a kind - great opportunity - prime location X “3” infocourthouseproducts@charter.net or (775)265-1480 WE ARE CONSTRUCTION BOOKKEEPING SPECIALISTS – Serving both general and specialty contractors with 30+ years of bookkeeping, payroll and tax experience. If you can’t keep up with your workload give us a call Pro-Balanced Bookkeeping & Tax Service (775)246-3363

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The best day, that’s what I wanted to give to my daughter Maya. The day was April 17, 2017. I had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease (PD) only 12 days prior and hadn’t told my youngest, then 17. Why was I trying to hide it? That is so unlike me, to keep something so important, hidden from her.

I didn’t tell her because I had this fanciful idea that I would give her that perfect day, this one last time before our communal world was forever changed. I knew that once I told her we could never go back to those carefree days. One last day...untouched by Parkinson’s.

But in retrospect, I wasn’t fooling anyone. Least of all Maya, the most observant person I know. Look at my legs in this picture. I thought I was standing straight up. I fell at least one time that day and poor Maya had to help me up from the pavement, dust off my knees and wipe the blood from my palms; all by herself and with no explanation from me. I was trying to be strong. Hoping that if I didn’t admit something was wrong, then she wouldn’t notice. I maintained this stance for years.

But today I’m ready to set that burden down, at least temporarily. I’m tired. I just need a little rest from fighting this foe called Parkinson’s. I’m tired of trying to look on the bright side. Tired of looking for silver linings. Tired of grinning and bearing it. Mostly I’m tired of never talking about the many losses that come with this diagnosis. A diagnosis, which rather quickly high-jacked my life and left me sitting in a wheelchair, wondering, “Where did my life go?” as everyone around me seemingly went breezily on with their lives.

So here it is. My list of losses: I miss working. I miss driving. I miss standing up without thinking “Where are my feet?” I miss people in the world thinking I’m cognitively intact. I miss holding babies with ease. I miss getting dressed all by myself. I miss talking in restaurants loud enough to be understood. I miss rolling over in bed when I want to find a more comfortable position.

There are too many things to list them all. Doctors tell you when you’re diagnosed not to worry too much about the future. That once you get on the right medications you’ll feel almost like your old self. All you need to do is exercise, eat right and take six pills every three hours, all day and all night.

But here’s the rub: you never again really feel that way, like your old self. I feel the Parkinson’s every minute of every day. And I hate it. I hate feeling it in my stiff and ungainly walk that no longer lets me pass by unnoticed, but rather elicits a chorus of “May I help you” or “Can I help you with that?” from others. I hate feeling it in the bruises left sore on my body from almost daily falls.

Parkinson’s takes and it takes and when your guard is down, takes a little bit more. If I’m being honest, Parkinson’s gives as well. Continued....

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Primarily in the form of lessons learned. Lessons more valuable than the salary that I am missing out on and the work I used to do. I’ve learned the value of family and I will never cease to be amazed at the burdens they will take on for you when you are not able. I’ve learned the value of true friends. The kind of friends who share your burden by showing up week after week, month after month and still put your needs first. I’ve learned to value old friends, the ones you haven’t spoken to in years, but are now willing to listen and never judge. I’ve even learned the value of having a loyal pet who goes with you wherever you go, just in case you fall, she’ll be the first one there. There is a beautiful song by Jennifer Hudson that captures that sentiment exactly, called Burden Down. It goes like this: For all I’ve done I’m alone Just for a moment can I not be strong So how ‘bout now, oh can I lay This burden down?

What is the most valuable lesson Parkinson’s has taught me? Share your burden with friends and family... let people in, let them help you. It will lighten your load. Eventually you realize, you are not alone, you never were, and you never will be. (Lisa Cargile) The Parkinson’s Foundation has a free Helpline at 1-800-4PD-INFO (1-800-473-4636) weekdays 9a.m. to 8p.m. for emotional support.

There are also websites such as pdaids.com one can visit to shop for outstanding health care products for Parkinson’s disease.

CRAFTSMAN CONSTRUCTION LLC, Specializing in Painting, Remodels, Additions, Tile, Finish Carpentry, Decks, Home Repairs, Window and Door Replacement, Quality Workmanship with over 28 years experience, free estimates, NV Lic.60315, NVPainting Lic.82727 Find us on Facebook or (775)690-1749 2012 RUBY RED CHRYSLER 300 AWD, 43,000 MILES, like new in and out, fully loaded $15,500 (775)220-1428

Directions

A driver stops in a small town and asks someone, “Excuse me, can you tell me where this road is going?” The townie says, “It don’t go nowhere, it stays right where it is.”

JR POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE AND REPAIR, ALL makes, models and years; Quads, OHV, Dirt and Street Bikes; from tune up to full rebuild. 35 years experience! Dayton, jrpowersports.com or (775)241-2530

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HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 1950-60’s American and/or European powered cars.

Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination.

Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)291-6827

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

Coming Home

A woman calls her mother. ‘My husband and I have been fighting so much lately. I am going to come live with you again.’

Her mother replies, ‘No dear, he should pay for his mistakes. I am coming to live with you.’

ROOF! WE DO ROOFS FOR A LIVING, NOT FOR a hobby! High quality, economical price, call Ed (775)297-2320 ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)265-4766 BRAND NEW R-38 ATTIC INSULATION PAPER FACED 6 bundles 12” thick, 16” wide, 48” long, $10 per bundle, 42.67 sq.ft. (775)721-2936

Douglas Democrats Monthly Meetings…

Thursdays, October 24th and November 21st from 6:30pm to 8:30pm at their headquarters 1758 US-395 N, Unit K, (Ironwood Center), Minden. Presentation and discussion. Gather and chat 6:30pm, meeting starts at 7:00pm sharp, www.douglasdems.org or (775)783-1903

USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539 SPECIALIZING IN GARAGES, ADDITIONS, REMODELS, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, Redline Construction Inc. (775)781-3955

Senior Fitness at Nourished Performance

Older adults who are looking to increase cardiovascular health, build strength, and gain flexibility in a fun and welcoming environment, this is the group class for you!

Whether you’re new to training or a fitness enthusiast, we will help you modify and adapt each 60-minute workout consisting of a dynamic warm up, full-body functional, strength, and aerobic training, and stretching - all with the goal to improve your health for life’s daily activities!

Nourished Performance, (New Location) 1236 Baltic Ave. Gardnerville (775)771-8070 PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin. To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free.

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Good News, Bad News

A minister stood in front of his congregation and announced, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is that it’s still in your pockets.”

SEEKING RELIABLE, TRUSTWORTHY, COMPASSIONATE, knowledgeable person(s) to oversee our place, care for our animals and water while we are away, Yerington (775)229-2226 DINING ROOM TABLE FOR 5, 2 LEAVES, MATCHING China cabinet, Tempurpedic 2 Twin long mattresses, with complete bedroom set, Elvis collection, Vintage Jerry cans, stereos (775)430-0138 WE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR PETS IN YOUR home, all sizes, we can spoil them as you do, call for meet and greet, 10 years experience, Serving Dayton, Carson City, Douglas County, Johnnell and Al (209)986-6381 SIMPSON 3300PSI PRESSURE WASHER, LIKE NEW $300 OBO; golf clubs, left handed $200, new Nike bag, Ping putter; White’s GMT metal detector, paid $850, sell for $650 Gardnerville (760)784-1072

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Accepting Applications

The Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for Swing Shift Custodian, George Whittell High School, Starting Salary: $16.69/hr., 40 hours per week / Full benefits.

For more information, please contact Bill Blumenthal, Facilities Supervisor, Phone: (775)392-0745 CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWERLY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry.

Larger Quantities Preferred. Please leave phone number and clear message on this home phone. I return all calls. Call Joanne at (775)465-9422 The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers.

WRANGLER UNLIMITED 5 WHEELS TIRES 90% TREAD $500; Charger R/T 18” 4 wheels tires 20% tread $400; 06-09 Dodge Power Wagon 1 wheel new $50, Carson (775)980-7724

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” A Thanksgiving Day Prayer

Lord, so often times, as any other day when we sit down to our meal and pray we hurry along and make fast the blessing... thanks, amen, now please pass the dressing.

We’re slaves to the olfactory overload we must rush our prayer before the food gets cold.

But Lord, I’d like to take a few minutes more to really give thanks to what I’m thankful for..... For my family, my health, a nice soft bed, my friends, my freedom, a roof over my head. I’m thankful right now to be surrounded by those whose lives touch me more than they’ll ever possibly know.

Thankful Lord, that You’ve blessed me beyond measure.

Thankful that in my heart lives life’s greatest treasure. That You, dear Jesus, reside in that place and I’m ever so grateful for Your unending grace.

So please, heavenly Father, bless this food you’ve provided and bless each and every person invited, Amen!

INVEST IN YOUR OWN SELF-CARE INSURANCEEat Your Way To Remarkable Health! Personalized Nutrition Consulting and Wellness Coaching. Healthy weight management, lifestyle management, nutrition support for diabetes, heart condition, digestive disorders, autoimmune, Alzheimer’s, detoxification programs, meal planning, and more. Reclaim Your Health Now! Call now for complimentary consultation. www. positivelywhole.com (775)515-8580

Passing A Parrot

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.”

She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.”

The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and get rid of the bird. The store manager replied, “That’s not good,” and promised he wouldn’t say it again.

When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, “Hey lady.”

She paused and said, “Yes?” The bird said, “You know.”

CRAFTSMAN CONSTRUCTION LLC, Specializing in Painting, Remodels, Additions, Tile, Finish Carpentry, Decks, Home Repairs, Window and Door Replacement, Quality Workmanship with over 28 years experience, free estimates, Serving Carson Valley, NV Lic.60315, NVPainting Lic.82727 Find us on Facebook or (775)690-1749

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“A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter65@gmail.com or (775)530-8932 ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174 TWO WOMEN’S BICYCLES, 1 SCHWNN, 10 speed $45; 1 3 speed $25; like new folding ping pong table, paddles, and balls $80; exercise treadmill high quality commercial grade variable programs, electronic readout $89; Schwinn Air-dyne exercise bike $85 (775)2655959 ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)721-2880 SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two-story houses, based in Minden area, call John (775)267-1800

November 28th Happy Thanksgiving!

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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