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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 14+ Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 SENIOR MARINE, EXELLENT HEALTH, needs live on property (mother-in-law or ?) want rural area within 10 miles of stores, etc, great references, Jim (775)315-5191 ALUMINUM CROSSOVER BED TOOLBOX, like new $150 (775)246-9227 $200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience. Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461 METAL PATIO BAR WITH 4 CHAIRS $250 OBO; metal Patio hammock $100 OBO, both for $300; 2 pet Igloos, medium, $30 each or both $50, all good condition, call Mike (775)782-6519

TAKE CARE OF YOUR LOVED ONES. WILLS and Trusts. Day R. Williams, Attorney at Law, 1601 Fairview Drive, Suite C., Carson City, NV. Call Day today! (775)885-8398 XDS 45 APC 3.3” SPRINGFIELD ARMORY, CASE, manual, holster, magazine holster, 2-5 round and 2-7 round magazines, all parts in original kit $475 OBO (775)671-0082 SEW-WHAT UPHOLSTERY, CUSTOM work, leather and antiques, 40+ years experience, Carson Valley, Leslie (775)901-2035 12’ ALUMINUM BOAT AND NEW 5HP Briggs & Stratton motor and fish finder $900; electric Tile Cutter Cyc550 $25; Airco welder 225 amps $25; gas Weed eater $25 (775)267-5219 WANTED: KNIVES – FOLDING, HUNTING; MILITARY, New or used, any quantity. Wanted: Tobacco Pipes – Used or new, any quantity, Jeff (775)720-2577 2005 BUICK LESABRE, 79,000 MILES, EXCELLENT condition, senior owned, 30MPG $4,200 (775)265-5148

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Best of Reno

8 8 8 - 5 4 4 - 8 5 4 1

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reno gazette journal

A Lesson from Potatoes

One of my teachers had each one of us bring a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes. For every person we’d refuse to forgive in our life, we were told to choose a potato, write on it the name and date, and put it in the plastic bag. Some of our bags, as you can imagine, were quite heavy. We were then told to carry this bag with us everywhere for one week, putting it beside our bed at night, on the car seat when driving, next to our desk at work. The hassle of lugging this around with us made it clear what a weight we were carrying spiritually, and how we had to pay attention to it all the time to not forget and keep leaving it in embarrassing places. Naturally, the condition of the potatoes deteriorated to a nasty slime. This was a great metaphor for the price we pay for keeping our pain and heavy negativity! Too often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person, and while that’s true, it clearly is also a gift for ourselves! So, the next time you decide you can’t forgive someone, ask yourself... Isn’t MY bag heavy enough? ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174

COUCH, GORGEOUS, SOLID CREAM-COLORED fabric, turned wood feet, brad tacks accent, pillows, 7’ wide x 3’3” deep, like new-perfect condition $400; coffee table, handsomely rustic, slate tiles and wood top, wrought iron accent, 52”x30”, very good condition, $40, can deliver, Yerington (775)720-5016 HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK RESURFACING and repair, interior doors, windows and interior/exterior trim, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235 CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Joanne, please leave clear message (775)465-9422 YARD ENHANCEMENT SERVICES, handyman, fence repair/rebuild, tree and brush trim/removal, defensible space improvement, hauling, dump runs, Carson Valley area, Kelly (209)352-0084

November 4th- Daylight Savings

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Paying It Forward

Meeting God

A woman has a heart attack. During this, she dies and meets God. “Will I die?” she asked. “No,” God replied, “You will live for another 40 years, 2 months, and 8 days.” At this instant, she snapped back alive. After the heart attack, she decides to make the most of her life. She gets a face lift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even gets a surgery to change the color of her hair. After her final surgery, she walks out and gets hit by a car and dies. When she goes up to heaven and meets God, she’s steaming. “What was that!?” she asked. “What?” God responded, “You died.” “You said I would live another 40 years!” “Oh.” God thought for a while. “I didn’t recognize you.” BEDROOM FOR RENT, SATELLITE TV, WASHER/ dryer, private bathroom, all utilities paid, no smoking, no pets, $550 per month, $500 security, off Pinenut in Gardnerville (775)450-4398 LEER CAMPER SHELL FIBERGLASS CAB HIGH, off Chevy short bed, make offer (775)246-9227

A couple of days ago I was standing in line at the bank. A young girl (college age) was behind me with a Mason jar 1/3 filled with coins. I commented to her that she was supposed to wait until it was completely filled before cashing it in. She said that she didn’t have any money in her account and that she had to cash it in now (it probably totaled $5.00). I remembered being a poor college student myself 30 years ago at BYU. So, when I got to the teller, I told her to withdraw $50 from my account and when the girl came up for her transaction, to see to it that my $50 was deposited into her account with her coins. The teller asked me, “Why? Do you know her?” I replied that I did not, but that it seemed to me she needed the money more than I did and I was just “Paying It Forward”. The teller told me that was one of the nicest things she had ever seen. I left feeling good. And, I secretly asked my Heavenly Father to bless both the young lady and myself because I have bills too. Tonight, at the end of my work week, my last customer was the answer to my silent prayer. Their dinner check was only $49 but they tipped me $50... the same amount that I had given to the young lady earlier this week! They tipped me not the usual 18% - 20% but a full 100%! Someone “paid it forward” back to me! Karma! I felt blessed! Remember, “Paying it forward” will eventually come back to you! PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827 PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, inside or out, Fences (775)901-1912

Heavenly Holiday Faire

Saturday, November 3rd, 2018, Carson Valley United Methodist Church. Plan a fun day with handmade gifts, Thanksgiving and Christmas décor, home baked goodies, Silent Auction, Kid’s Market, Theme Basket Raffles and visit Santa at the “Heavenly Holiday Faire” Saturday, November 3rd from 9am – 4pm at 1375 Centerville Rd. Gardnerville. Enjoy lunch and shop for the holidays. www.carsonvalleyumc.com RESIDENTIAL CLEANING, LICENSED, BONDED and insured with references, Free estimates, great cleaning, fair prices, Samantha (775)220-4252

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Christmas Present

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. Pastor Mike was looking at the nativity scene outside when he noticed the baby Jesus was missing from the figures. Immediately, Pastor Mike turned towards the church to call the police. But as he was about to do so, he saw little Jimmy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus. Pastor Mike walked up to Jimmy and said, “Well, Jimmy, where did you get the little infant?” Jimmy replied, “I got him from the church.” “And why did you take him?” With a sheepish smile, Jimmy said, “Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to little Lord Jesus. I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas, I would give him a ride around the block in it.”

Historic Ship Nautilus SSN571

First nuclear-powered submarine, first to transit North Pole west to east. We are looking for lost crew. If you were, or know of a crew member living or deceased, please contact us at our website ussnautilus.us. If possible, name-rank/rateaddress. You are under no obligation, reunite with old shipmates. Nautilus was and will always be the first and the finest. Your old buddies are waiting to hear from you. ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $499, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994

A BAD TILE JOB CAN BE LIKE A BAD HAIRCUT, but it doesn’t grow back, so don’t get hacked! Done right the first time, Sundance Tile and Marble, NV#58795 (775)691-9954

WE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR PETS IN YOUR home, all sizes, we can spoil them as you do, call for meet and greet, 10 years experience, Serving Dayton, Carson City, Douglas County, Johnnell and Al (209)986-6381

HARRY’S HAULING; PIANOS, SPAS, SAFES OR anything else, serving the Carson Valley communities (775)291-6648

MOBILE NOTARY PUBLIC, AVAILABLE TO NOTARIZE documents, 15 years experience, call Kathy for an appointment (775)770-8174

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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The Strange Christmas Scene

Grass Eater

In a small southern town there was a “Nativity Scene” that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a “Quik Stop” on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, “You stupid Yankees never do read the Bible!” I assured her that I did, but simply couldn’t recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said “See, it says right here, ‘The three wise men came from afar.’”

A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. “Why are you eating grass?” he asked the man. “I don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “Oh, please come to my house!” “But sir, I have a wife and four children...” “Bring them along!” the rich man said. They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in.” The rich man replied, “No, you don’t understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!”

PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, faux and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, powerspainting.org or (775)7815531 or (775)315-5179

$69 SERVICE CALL, ACADEMY APPLIANCE Service; washers, dryers, refrigerators, ranges, dishwashers, compactors, some areas extra charge, Serving Carson Valley (775)781-4725

EXPERIENCED HOT TUB REPAIR AND MAINTENANCE, monthly/bi-monthly, new custom covers available! Serving Carson Valley area, Carson Spa Care (775)230-5328

HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 21 years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” EARL LESSLEY: The Flying Cowboy By Karen Dustman, Woodfords, CA

Happy November 5th Birthday Nick

A son is certainly the best asset that any parent can have. Because of you, I have been reaping the rewards as well as the gains of purest love there can ever be. I love you and may you have a wonderful birthday celebration. Best Bday! Love you much ma G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672 WE’LL KEEP YOU IN STITCHES, WE COVER autos, furniture and ATV’s, 47 years experience, Tweeds Upholstery, Gardnerville, tweedsupholstery@ yahoo.com or (775)782-5812 HIGH ROLLERS PAINTING FOR ALL YOUR PAINTING needs! Competitive rates and quality workmanship, bonded and insured, NV#44048, highrollerspainting.net or (775)267-2534 HANDYMAN SERVICE – HOME REPAIRS, FENCING Repair/Replacement, Hauling, Trash Removal, Shrub and Tree Trimming and Removal, and Weed Removal, Free Estimates (775)781-1747

He died over half a century ago. But tales live on about Earl Lessley, Carson Valley’s “flying cowboy”! Earl Lessley was born in 1889 at Drytown, California. His parents, Mary and Samuel Lessley, had crossed the plains from Missouri by covered wagon. Even after they arrived in California, the family moved around just a bit; a second son, Ray, was born in 1892 in nearby Volcano. As an adult, Lessley moseyed east to Carson Valley and by 1918 was working for Dangberg Land and Livestock. He would become a “veteran and respected employee” of the Dangberg Ranch for the next 37 years. (Younger brother Ray may have had something to do with the move to Carson Valley; Ray, too, worked for Dangberg, beginning in 1919, eventually moving on in 1937 to work for George “Bim” Koenig at the Swauger Ranch at Topaz.) Earl’s prowess as a horseman was legendary. Astride a spirited horse named “Fighting,” he took first prize for best rider in the finals at the American Legion rodeo in Carson Valley in June, 1928. And as the years went by he became a well-known “old vaquero” at Vaquero Cow Camp, the summer range for Dangberg cattle in Bagley Valley. But what Lessley was most famous for was his passion for airplanes! Given the difficulty of accessing Bagley Valley in the wintertime, he decided to fly in with John Dangberg one year, using a rented WWI biplane. Lessley carefully cleared a primitive landing strip on a low ridge south of the camp. But when he attempted a landing on his fresh new dirt strip, the plane careened in nose-first. (Luckily, Lessley and his famous passenger both survived!) Despite this inauspicious beginning, the landing strip at Vaquero Camp continued to be used- though not always successfully. A second plane also crashed, and the practical Lessley is said to have happily scavenged parts from the wreck to reuse on the ranch. A third pilot, too, made a crash landing, escaping with only a broken arm. Despite this inauspicious beginning for the landing strip Earl continued to fly, owning several airplanes of his own throughout the years. He evidently learned from his early mistakes as a pilot; his obituary noted that Lessley “frequently had accomplished the [difficult] feat of landing and taking off from Bagley Valley.” Other near-apocryphal tales about Lessley give a picture of a grizzled outdoorsman. Like many of his generation he disdained doctors; developing “foot trouble” once (possibly frostbite or gangrene), Lessley simply lopped off part of his own toes with an axe. He also had a frontiersman’s wicked sense of humor. Lessley once pranked local fishermen by stuffing the hind-quarters of a dead bear into a pair of old Levis, then half-buried the carcass in a river bank where he knew they

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com would find it! In 1952, Lessley suffered a concussion when a horse fell on him. He told his coworkers to leave him there, saying he was content to die in camp. His fellow cowboys didn’t listen, however, successfully carting him out on a stretcher for medical treatment. Lessley’s end came three years later — and a rather ironic end it was for an old cowboy. It was April 17, 1955, and the spring winds through Carson Valley were strong and gusty. Lessley was working on his car at the Klauber Ranch, and had jacked up the vehicle and crawled underneath. The car slipped off the jack, possibly aided by the gusty wind. The rear axle landed on Lessley’s chest. His body was discovered the next day by Hans Dunwebber, a fellow employee. If there was any happy news in the tragedy, it was that Lessley was said to have died instantaneously. He was 66 years old. Earl Lessley was laid to rest near his parents in his family’s plot at Shenandoah Valley Cemetery in Plymouth, California, in a grave shared with his younger brother, Ray. (Ray died in 1962.) Prominent locals Bill Hellwinkel and Otto Heise traveled all the way from Carson Valley to Jackson to pay their respects at Earl’s funeral- a touching indicator of the extremely high regard in which he was held by his community. (For additional information about Earl Lessley and the vaqueros at Bagley Valley, check out Judy Wickwire’s wonderful new book, “Land Use Patterns in Bagley and Silver King Valleys” — available at the Alpine County Museum in Markleeville!) Karen Dustman is an author and history writer in Woodfords, California. Her books on Sierra history are available at www.Clairitage.com. TREADMILL IN VERY GOOD CONDTION, wide body kind, asking $300 (775)350-7731 BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND recolored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (775)233- 5297

Good Impression

An older man, not in the best physical condition, asked the trainer in the gym, “I want to impress that beautiful girl. Which machine should I use?” The trainer replied...”Use the ATM machine outside the gym!” MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

The Bored Man

There’s a man named Ralph that goes into a bar, looking very depressed. A friend approaches him and asks, “Why the long face, Ralph?” “Oh, I’m just bored. I know every person in the entire world now, and there’s just nothing left to challenge me.” His friend says, “No, you can’t know everyone. Do you know Paul McCartney?” He says, “Sure, Paul’s an old friend of mine. Here, I’ll show you.” He goes over to a phone, dials a number. His friend overhears a British accent, “Hey Ralph, how ya doing?” He talks for a while, but when Ralph hangs up, his friend is not really sure that it was Paul McCartney on the other end of the line, so he asks him if he knows the president. Ralph says, “Sure, we go way back.” This time he lets him listen in as he calls a private number. It sounds like the president on the other end of the line, and they go into a big discussion of the current economic scene, and Ralph offers a few suggestions. Drawing the conversation to a close, Ralph wishes him well and hangs up. His friend is a little dumbfounded at this point. “Well, there must be someone that you don’t know.” He goes over a few more people in his mind, and thinks, ‘He can’t possibly know the Pope. After all, he’s a Protestant.’ But Ralph claims to know him, so to convince himself otherwise, his friend decides to fly both himself and Ralph to the Vatican to get positive proof of Ralph’s conviction. So they arrive at the Vatican, and Ralph suggests that his friend wait out in St. Peter’s Square until Ralph has cleared things with the Pope. He’s standing in the courtyard, when who walks out onto the balcony of the private residence, arm in arm with the Pope, but Ralph. Ralph looks down, sees that his friend has apparently passed out, and runs down to see what can be done for him. “What happened to you? Couldn’t you accept the fact that I really do know the Pope?” “No, I’d begun to accept that possibility. But what really took my breath away was some stranger standing

next to me who said, ‘Who’s that guy standing there with Ralph?’” NEVADA CCW CLASSES $50, EMAIL tacaimnv@ gmail or call (775)360-5214 2002 VESPA ET4, 11,600 MILES, 72MPG, Malossi, 200cc engine upgrade, service records, wind screen saddle bags, passenger footrest, storm cover never used, Oxford trip wire cable, never used, battery tender too, $2,400, locking Pod, helmets, jackets too, Phil (775)265-2734/ (775)721-4726

Take Off Pounds Sensibly!

TOPS is a non-profit weight loss support program. Meets Thursdays 9am to 10am at Douglas County Community Center; Drop-in or for more information call Juanita (775)267-9471 or Marcia (775)783-7620 QUALITY HOME MAINTENANCE AND IMPROVEMENTS, prompt, honest and reliable, fair pricing, all work guaranteed, call for free estimate and visit! Frank (775)309-7299 INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX preparation, Federal and all States, prior years, audit representation, 30 years experience, reasonable rates (775)392-0418

New Car

My boss pulled up to work with his sweet new sports car this morning and I complimented him on it. He stepped out of his car, put his hand on my shoulder and replied, “Well, if you work hard, set goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year.” HUGE SELECTION OF MUSIC BOOKS, must see, best offer (775)782-3658

Confidence

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A group of Engineering professors were invited to fly in a plane. Right after they were comfortably seated, they were informed the plane was built by their students. All but one got up and left their seats and headed frantically to the exits in maniacal panic. The one lone professor that stayed put, calmly in his seat, was asked: “Why did you stay put?” “I have plenty of confidence in my students. Knowing them, I for a fact can assure you this plane will never even start.” 2008 CIRCLE J OUTBACK 3-HORSE SLANT TRAILER, 1,100 actual miles, kept indoors, excellent condition $7,500, Bob/Wellington (775)781-0244 USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539 COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, davenportlandscape.com or (775)2651491 or (775)721-8439

REDLINE CONSTRUCTION, INC., SPECIALIZING in garages, additions, remodels, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, (775)781-3955 CRAFTSMAN CONSTRUCTION LLC, Specializing in Painting, Remodels, Tile, Finish Carpentry, Decks, Home Repairs, Window and Door Replacement, Quality Workmanship with over 28 years experience, free estimates, NV Lic.60315, NVPainting Lic.82727 Find us on Facebook or (775)690-1749

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Menswear Department

Definition of Getting Old

I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, “Are you having it catered?” And that, my friends, is the sad definition of “OLD.” TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, clipper blades, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079 CALLING ALL CONTRACTORS. IF YOU OWN a small construction company and are finding it hard to keep up with the bookkeeping, payroll and or taxes we’re your answer. Pro-Balanced Bookkeeping and Tax Service (775)246-3363 HOT TUB SERVICE AND REPAIR, WEEKLY and bi weekly service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)2672490 LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers/Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Free Estimates, 10+ Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him. “Quiero calcetines,” said the man. “I don’t speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here,” said the saleswoman. “No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines,” said the man. “Well, these shirts are on sale this week,” declared the saleswoman. “No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines,” repeated the man. “I still don’t know what you’re trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack,” offered the saleswoman. “No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines,” insisted the man. “These sweaters are top quality,” the saleswoman probed. “No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines,” said the man. “Our undershirts are over here,” fumbled the saleswoman, beginning to lose patience. “No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines,” the man repeated. As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, “Eso sí que es!” “Why didn’t you just spell it in the first place?!” yelled the saleswoman. C.F.I. CERTIFIED CARPET, HARDWOOD, VINYL, no charge for furniture. Three-year labor warranty! Residential and Commercial, Competitive pricing, JS Flooring (775)267-4123 PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)6901441

Tish Hinojosa Concert

The Carson Valley Arts Council will present Tish Hinojosa in concert at St. Gall Catholic Church on Sunday, November 18, 2018. Join us for an afternoon of folk, country and pop music. Doors open at 2:30 pm and concert begins at 3:30 pm. Tickets are $22 in advance; $26 at the door; kids under 18 are free. For information or to purchase tickets visit www.cvartscouncil.com or call (775)782-8207. WINDMERE LIFT CHAIR, TAN COLOR, 1 year old, very good condition $699 OBO (775)782-3658

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Sponsor or Adopt a Highway Litter Removal Programs

We invite the public to join in keeping our roadways clean. Our adopt-a-highway program is an important opportunity for non-political organizations, volunteer groups and individuals to help keep our highways safe and clean. By helping to clean designated sections of roadways, these volunteers also save taxpayer money and give our NDOT roadway maintenance forces more opportunity and hours to dedicate to the more than 100 other roadway maintenance tasks under their responsibility, from roadway resurfacing to helping respond to emergency roadway incidents. Those interested in volunteering to adopt a highway in northwestern Nevada can contact (775)834-8300 for information on availability. We also encourage businesses to participate in our sponsor-a-highway program. The sponsorship money funds recurrent litter removal by experienced and safety-trained, attired and equipped contract workers to help keep state roadways clean at a cost savings to taxpayers. For general information about Nevada’s Adopt-AHighway and Sponsor-A-Highway Programs, please contact the Nevada Department of Transportation at 775888-7000, by submitting comments by email at info@ dot.nv.gov or visit https://www.nevadadot.com/doing-

business/public-involvement-information/public-sponsorships MADAME ALEXANDER DOLLS FROM THE 1980’S, made in USA, all sizes with original boxes (775)392-0044 HANDY HAMILTONS HANDYMAN SERVICES, Experienced Handyman, Quality work at a fair price, Free estimates, Call Mark Hamilton (775)720-9595

Grounded

Brendan had spent a week visiting his family in Kentucky. His sister-in-law and seven-year-old nephew went with him when he returned to the airport. After verifying his seat number with the counter attendant, Brendan walked back to his relatives and stated that he’d have to wait an additional three hours in the airport. “How come?,” his nephew asked. “My plane has been grounded,” Brendan explained. “Grounded?” the little boy said. “I didn’t know planes had parents.” CLASSIC 1980 FIAT SPIDER TOTALLY RESTORED, highly modified $7,999, call for details (775)241-0870

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Air Duct Cleaning FAQ

Elementary Chemistry

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. “Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in the water. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. “Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” the professor asked. Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms.” BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi-story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629 HOOVER UPRIGHT VACUUM $20; MICROWAVE stand with cupboard $20; Collapsible stroller $30: Wicker 6 drawer dresser $75; Glass TV stand $50; Upright DVD/CD rack $25, cloth rocker $20, Dayton (760)617-6322

If you’ve been wondering about certain things pertaining to your air ducts, Sierra Air and its experts have put together a useful guide to the questions you may ask about your own HVAC system. How Often Should Air Ducts Be Cleaned? It actually all depends on you whether you need to clean your air ducts or not. The state of your home and its cleanliness can determine whether you need your ducts cleaned frequently or less often. For some, cleaning every month is normal, while others may need to do it more often. If you have a home that accumulates dust easily, have pets that shed a lot of hair, smokers living with you, people suffering from allergies or respiratory illnesses, or recently renovated your home, then you need to clean your ducts as often as every month. What Are the Health Benefits of Having Your Air Ducts Cleaned? Clean air does have its perks and some of these can affect the health of your household. When your air ducts are cleaned regularly, people with respiratory illnesses and other diseases may experience less discomfort since there are less contaminants in the air. How Is a Residential Air Duct Cleaning Performed? A professional air duct cleaning is performed by applying negative pressure in your whole duct system and then sucking out the debris through a special, powerful vacuum. Special devices may be inserted in the ducts to help dislodge the debris and help the vacuum. What Chemicals Are Used in Cleaning Air Ducts? If your air ducts have problems related to mold and fungi, special chemicals may be used to destroy these microbes. These chemicals are only applied after the mechanical cleaning has been thoroughly administered. WHITE JACUZZI BATH TUB, 71” LONG, 42” WIDE, 19” high with faucets $250, call for details (775)297-3530 LICENSED AND BONDED ELECTRICIAN, ADDITIONS, remodels, extra outlets, switches, light fixtures, ceiling fans, trouble shooting and power panel upgrades, etc., 18 years experience, Free Estimates, Senior Discount, Degenspark Electric NV#52647 (775)267-4229 2017 AZURE SPA, LIKE NEW, SEATS FOUR $2,500 Minden (510)375-3047 CUSTOM MASONRY, ONE BRICK AT A TIME, Commercial/Residential, 3+ Better Business Bureau rating, serving Carson Valley 12+ years, Free Estimates, M Sqrd Masonry, NV#200616647 and CA#924187, Marc Duryee (775)450-6219 or (775)7834753

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Drunk Driver?

A cop waited outside a popular pub hoping to nab a drunk-driver. At closing time, as everyone came out, he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes looking for his car. After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle. He sat in the car a good 10 minutes as the other pub patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off. He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally, when his was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away. The cop, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He administered the breathalyzer test and, to his great surprise, the man easily passed. The cop was dumbfounded. ‘This equipment must be broken,’ exclaimed the policeman. ‘I doubt it,’ said the man. ‘Tonight I’m the designated decoy.’

Cup of Tea

One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’ My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up. Then she said: (as only a mother would know), “‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?” CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWERLY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred. Please leave clear message on this home phone. I return all calls. Call Joanne at (775)465-9422

FACTORY AMMUNITION - .357 MAG .38 SPECIAL, 9MM, .45, John (775)267-1239 JAMES A. FARNHAM, EA, TAX PREPARATION, Federal and State, prior years and other representation, 20 years experience, reasonable rates (775)3920321 MAINTENANCE FREE DECKS AND PATIO COVERS, knowledgeable, honest, professional service! Serving Northern Nevada for 18+ years! Free Quotes! K & C Construction, NV#0079034 (775)691-6462 ELECTRIC HOSPITAL BED WITH MATTRESS, FREE, you pick up (775)350-7238 LAWN MAINTENANCE, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, HOA, Weekly Lawn Care, Fertilizing, Fall/Winter Cleanup, Equal Payment Plans, Package Programs, Licensed and Bonded, 22 Years Serving Carson Valley, Total Lawn & Landscape (775)7823505 MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 35 years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919

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Memento

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A GIFT OF READING: COMPLETE SET OF VINTAGE hardcover Frank Dixon Hardy Boys Mystery Books, volumes 1-58 plus Detective Handbook $200 plus shipping if necessary (775)883-8566

MASTER HOROLOGIST, CLOCK REPAIR, MUSEUM Quality Furniture, Chair Caning and Antique Everything Restoration, Grandfather Clock House Calls! A-1 Restorations since 1967, Larry (775)7811616

Friend: “I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?” Woman: “Yes, it’s a lock of my husband’s hair.” Friend: “But your husband is still alive.” Woman: “I know, but his hair is gone.”

November 11th- Veterans Day

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Cat Rules

Thanksgiving Turkey

A woman drove to the local grocery store to buy a turkey to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner. She was picking through the frozen turkeys, but she couldn’t find one big enough for her entire family. So, she asked a stock boy, “Excuse me, do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.” JR POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE AND REPAIR, ALL makes, models and years; Quads, OHV, Dirt and Street Bikes; from tune up to full rebuild. 35 years experience! Dayton, jrpowersports.com or (775)2412530 CLEANING OUT SHED SALE; SEVENTY ITEMS including electrical, plumbing, hardware, nuts, bolts, screws, locks, garden, automotive tools, appliances, Emailed list with prices on request glenbsheard@ gmail.com (775)762-2220 LET US UNLOAD ON YOU! TOP SOIL, ROCK, DG, worm castings etc. Tight time line? We’re really fast! 30+ years experience, serving Carson and surrounding communities, Nevada Organics (775)882-9500

Bathrooms - Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare. Doors - Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an “outside” door opened, stand halfway in the door and think about various things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season. Chairs and Rugs - If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as long as a human’s bare foot. Hampering - If one of your humans is engaged in some activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called “helping,” otherwise known as hampering. 1) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted. 2) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself. 3) For paperwork, lie so as to obscure as much of the work as possible. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen. 4) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him, jump on the back of the paper. Humans love to be startled. 5) When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across keyboard, bat at mouse pointer on screen and then lie in human’s lap, preventing typing. Walking - As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get out of bed in the morning. This will help their coordination skills. Bedtime - Always sleep on the human at night so he cannot move. Litter Box - When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes. Hiding - Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat. And one last thought...Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially his face, turn around, and present your butt to him. Humans love this, so do it often. And don’t forget guests!

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Come Join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church

Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 5pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590 HEAVY DUTY CHAIN LINK FENCING DOG RUN 12’x6’x6’ $550 OBO; Brown leather couch, zip on cushions, excellent condition, like new $500 (775)2656336 GOT WOOD? SAMMY’S FIREWOOD, HONEST Quality Service, soft and hard wood, delivery available, located in Carson City (775)315-0834

Who Would Steal?

Two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up and said, “I have to go back to the office - I forgot to lock the safe!” The other partner replied, “What are you worried about? We’re both here.” HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)267-1958 NATIONAL LEADER IN BABBITT BEARING Repair is seeking Manual Machinists for our Minden, NV Plant. Minimum 3 years current relevant experience required. (No CNC) Medical, dental, life, paid vacation and holidays plus other benefits. Fax resume/ work history to: 775-267-4543 OR email your resume in an MS Word document format to: nvoffice@pmebearings.com WINE MAKING KIT: 7 GALLON FERMENTER, Hydrometer, pump, bottler, 3 gallon aging bottle, 2 aerators, instruction book $75 OBO, Harold (775)5139114

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The Worst Day of My Life

Something to Ponder

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him - Is he still wrong? ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, all water sports, furnished cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at eaglelakeheritage.com or (800)459-5179 MEDI-MIST NEBULIZER, HEAVY DUTY by Mountain Medical Equipment, Inc. with accessories $25; Glass Top Bistro Pub Table with two stools with backs, table 40” high, 36” square, stools 30 inches to seat, like new, similar items sell in Wayfair at up to $600, asking $75 (775)762-2220 CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! REPAIR, RE-STITCH, Replace; Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Spa Sun Covers and Patio Shade; Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/Minden (775)2674434 or (775)230-8706

HELP WANTED! Visit sierrascoop.com/jobs 22

I was at the end of my rope. I was not normally a drinker, you know, alcohol, booze. But today was different. So I went to a bar across town. There I was is sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker dude walks up next to me, grabs my drink, and swallows it completely in one motion. “So! What you gonna do about it little man?” he says. I promptly responded by bursting into tears. “Hey man, stop that. I didn’t think you’d cry. I can’t stand to see another man cry!” I looked at him from my tears. “This is the worst day of my life,” I said. “I’m a complete failure.” “I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.” “When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don’t have any insurance to replace it.” “I left my wallet in the cab that I took home.” “At home, I walked into the house to find my wife romping with the gardener. Before I could even face them, or say or do anything, the gardener’s dog bit me!” “So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.” “I bought a drink. Yeah, my drink here.” “I dropped a capsule into the liquor, and was watching it dissolve when you walked in.” “Well you know the rest. You ruined the one thing I wanted to do right today when you drank my drink.” “By the way, how’s your day going?” Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, (775)782-4520 2009 29.5’ GOOSENECK JAYCO EAGLE TRAVEL trailer, 2 pull outs, super clean, sleeps 4, has pull out awning $21,000, Wellington (661)350-2144

Flying Pig Flea Market

Our next dates and winter hours will be November 11th, 8am-3pm and November 12th, 9am-3pm, Fuji Park Building, Carson City. Be a vendor. Come to browse, for information call (775)882-4717 or (775)315-0008 CHUCKS TRADING POST! OPEN EVERY Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, Lots of gifts, unique items, appliances, furniture, must stop, see and say “Hi”, Buy, Sell, Trade, 2530B Empire Ranch Rd, Carson City (775)815-1288

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Why Do Golfers Shout Fore?

Why do golfers shout fore!? Not heads or watch out or duck to warn those who may be hit by an errant shot? The short answer is that no-one quite knows. The long answer is that most agree that fore is a foreshortening of another word or phrase. However, the etymologists cannot agree which word or phrase. But even that general statement would be contested by some. Fore as a word in itself means “situated in front” and it is argued that a cry of fore! was originally simply a way to warn those situated in front that a ball was coming their way. There is an old joke of a player asking his caddie “you any good at finding golf balls?” And when informed yes, the player replies: “Good – well go and find one then and then I can play a round”. But if the fellow was so tight, how come he was forking out on a caddy? Well once upon a time caddies were relatively cheap and golf balls were expensive. In those days – and we’re going back a few centuries here – players would employ forecaddies to spot where the ball went as the player could scarce afford to lose such an expensive object. The role of the forecaddie has all but gone from modern golf – except in top professional tournaments that is. You know, those events played by multi-millionaires who

don’t even pay for their golf balls. But in days when they were common, the shout of fore! was an abbreviation of forecaddie! a shouted warning to the ball spotter that a ball was on its way for him to spot. The English language has adopted many phrases from martial life, particularly naval terms. For example ‘no room to swing a cat’ has nothing to do with Tibbles but refers to the cat o’ nine tails that seaman were flogged with. (golf-monthly.co.uk) WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)7829192 RENNER’S TRUE VALUE HARDWARE - FOR ALL YOUR hardware, household, automotive and gardening needs and much more now available online at truevalue.com, ship orders to store for free, call Robert or Megan for details (775)465-2217, press 1 for parts, 2289 Hwy. 208, Smith, NV FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)782-8776

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The Volkswagen and the Rolls

A man in a Volkswagen Beetle pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls: “Hey, you got a telephone in that Rolls?” The guy in the Rolls says, “Yes, of course I do.” “I got one too… see?” “Uh, huh, yes, that’s very nice.” “You got a fax machine?” “Why, actually, yes, I do.” “I do too! See? It’s right here!” “Uh-huh.” The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagen says, “So, do you have a double bed in back there?” And the guy in the Rolls says, “NO! Do you?” “Yep, got my double bed right in back here… see?!” The light turns and the man in the Volkswagen takes off. Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he goes immediately to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in the back of his car. About two weeks later, the job is finally done and he picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Volkswagen. He finally finds it parked alongside the road so he pulls his Rolls up next to it. The windows on the Volkswagen are all fogged up and he feels a little awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Volkswagen. The man in the Volkswagen finally opens the window a crack and peeks out. The guy in the Rolls says, “Hey.

Miracle of Toilet Paper

Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror, complaining to my husband that my bosom was too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your bosom to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it in your cleavage for a few seconds.” Puzzled but willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it in my cleavage. “How long will this take?” I ask. “They will grow larger over a period of years,” he replies. I stopped. “Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper in my cleavage every day will make my bosom larger over the years?” Without missing a beat he says, “Worked for your bum, didn’t it?” He’s still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again. HONDA EU3000 GENERATOR/WITH ROLLING Cart, New in Storage, Super Quiet, 20 Hour Run Time, Half Price $1,300 (775)230-3770

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Remember me?” “Yeah, yeah, I remember you. What’s up?” “Check this out… I got a double bed installed in my Rolls.” “AND YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE SHOWER TO TELL ME THAT?!” SMALL PAINT JOBS WANTED, EXPERIENCED painter, reasonable rates, call Tom (713)344-3726 MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627 FULL SIZE WOOD BED FRAME WITH shelves $100 OBO, Yerington (775)294-5779

Colonel Sanders

The KFC story started when Sanders was 40 years old and he began cooking for customers at his car service station in Corbin, New York. Soon people were coming more for his food than for car services, so he decided to focus on the food business instead. He closed his service station and opened a restaurant that could cater to more than a hundred people. It was during this period that Sanders perfected the secret ingredients that make up Kentucky Fried Chicken, ingredients that are used to this day. With his unique recipe, Sanders’ eatery became widely known and he became famous throughout Kentucky. In 1935 in recognition of his achievements, then Governor Ruby Laffoon made Sanders a Colonel, and by 1950 Sanders started cultivating his appearance, with the string tie, white suit, goatee and moustache, and his image would become the trademark by which KFC would be recognized. The first Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise opened in 1952 in South Salt Lake, Utah and it met great success. What helped ensure the success of KFC was the decision Sanders took to spread the popularity of his fried chicken. From his center of operations in Kentucky he would travel in his small car around the country and personally cook chicken for restaurant owners. If the owners liked his recipe, and they invariably did, Sanders would deal with them. In exchange for using his secret recipe, the Colonel was paid a nickel for every chicken they sold. Sanders’ approach proved so successful that by 1964, KFC had franchised over 600 restaurants in the US and Canada. That same year Sanders sold his stake in the company for $2 million to a group of investors. HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 1950-60’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)291-6827

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Why it’s ok for your loved one to stop eating & drinking on Hospice

Berean Bible Church Christ Alone!

Sunday Worship Service 9:30am; Children’s Sunday School provided. Women’s Bible Study – 2nd and 4th Friday 8am; Men Bible Study – Fridays 8am; CoEd Bible Study – Tuesdays 5pm. 1516 Hwy. 395, Gardnerville (in the HAAS Center) bereanbible.church or call (775)7823931 TUTORING FOR CHILDREN AGES 6-10 IN READING, writing and spelling, retired teacher, call Elizabeth, serving Minden/Gardnerville (775)815-5431 HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/ INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)691-5119 RENT ME FOR FALL CLEANING, PUT A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove (775)2972320 DAYTON JOB BOX MODEL #6A578, 59”Tx60”Wx33.5”D, drop front, new $1,500, asking $1,100, Smith Valley (760)264-5197

November 22nd- Happy Thanksgiving! 26

We associate food with comfort. Babies bond with their mothers while nursing or being fed a bottle. We give our loved one chicken soup when they are in bed with a cold. Food is so important to our cultural celebrations and holidays. A colorfully decorated cake and ice cream on birthdays. Turkey and all the trimmings on Thanksgiving. Spiral ham, pecan pies and sugar cookies at Christmas. Sufganiyah and livivot on Hanukah. BBQ burgers, dogs and ice cold watermelon on the 4th of July. It goes on and on. For generations, this is how we have shown our family and friends that we care about them. However, nutrition changes drastically at the end of life. As a 20-year hospice nurse, the common concern I hear from families of our hospice patients is: “I don’t want mom to starve,” or “I really want to get some fluids into dad.” I completely understand their concern on several levels. Personal: Four years ago my mother died. She was admitted to a rural hospice service after a lengthy illness. She had gone five days without food or fluids. My siblings and I were at her bedside when she took her last breath. I have to admit, even knowing the clinical implications of forcing food or fluids at the time of death, I struggled to make the decision. Emotional: It is difficult to think that we may be allowing our loved ones to feel hunger or thirst. Caregivers wonder: Am I going to feel guilty after it is all said and done? Clinical: During a terminal illness, providing food or fluids late in the dying process can actually be worse for our loved one. While all of those levels are important, it is the clinical level that is the most easily misunderstood. I want to explain how and why it is not always best to feed and hydrate dying patients. Nutrition at End of Life: When the body is dying, it is no longer able to regulate fluid well. Fluid imbalances can arise, causing significant symptoms: Edema, which is swelling, can occur in the feet, legs, and hands. This can make it harder for the body to fight infections or heal wounds. But worse, it can cause swelling in the lungs. This is called “pulmonary edema.” Pulmonary edema can cause distressing symptoms such as shortness of breath, coughing and even the inability to get enough oxygen into the blood, which is known as hypoxia. Hypoxia can cause our loved ones to become confused, agitated and even combative. Their skin color can turn a bluish color. However, fluids are not the only thing that can cause problems. Feeding our loved ones during this time can cause just as many problems. Forcing someone to eat can cause choking or aspiration. Continued....

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” ROOF! WE DO ROOFS FOR A LIVING, NOT FOR a hobby! High quality, economical price, call Ed (775)297-2320 WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, bensonfeed.com, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)882-3999 COMPANION 5TH WHEEL HITCH, USED ONE time $750, Smith Valley (760)264-5197

Sea of Information

This is when the person “inhales” food or fluids into the lungs. This can be painful. It can cause many of the same symptoms such as shortness of breath and coughing. Feeding our loved ones at this time can also cause other problems such as nausea and vomiting, abdominal bloating, excessive gas, constipation or even diarrhea.This can be especially painful to a person who is in the process of dying. Think of how it feels to be bloated or nauseous when you are completely healthy. For a person who is dying, it is much worse. But caregivers and family should not worry that their loved one is starving and thirsty. The reason? Simply put, the body is amazing! It has learned during the dying process to reduce and eventually, totally eliminate the need for fluids and food. The body has begun to shut down and prepare for the end. Therefore, trying to make them eat or drink will not comfort them—even though we usually use food as a way to bring comfort to our families. It will actually make their symptoms much worse. As hard as it may be for us, there may come a time when we need to find new ways to bring relaxation and serenity to our family members. Your hospice nurse or healthcare professional can guide you on when it is time to stop offering food and fluids. Just remember, as hard as it may be, this is really the best way to show your loved one that you care. (DeAnna L. Looper, Crossroads Hospice)

When I was a boy I was the remote. Not only did I get up to change the television channel, I also walked outside to turn the antenna to pick up the other network. My iTunes were a stack of vinyl records under our plastic record player. My Google was a pile of books in the corner of the living room. My e-mail was a sheet of paper, a pen, and an envelope. My video games were played in my mind while I romped outside in the sunshine. Today, however, we live in a sea of information. There are dozens of social media sites. There are hundreds of cable television channels. There are e-mails and text messages that make our computers and smart phones beep constantly. There are video games that eat up our time. There are news shows that only feed our anger and prejudices. There is so much information that we rarely have time to think about it, let alone reflect on our lives here. What can we do in such a sea? How can we navigate it? How can we sail it to find the truth about our world and ourselves? I think the key comes in asking ourselves a few important questions. When the waves of information come at you then ask yourself these things. Is this information uplifting my heart? Is it inspiring my soul? Is it educating my mind. Is it making me feel happier about my life here? Is it making me kinder and more loving? Is it urging me to help make the world a better place? Is it bringing me closer to God? If the answer is no then turn it off, disregard it, and dismiss it from your life. Our lives here are too brief to be awash in a sea of negativity. If the information around you isn’t helping you then it is wasting your time and your life. Your life is what you allow into your heart and soul and also what you share from your heart and soul. PIANO AND ORGAN PRIVATE INSTRUCTIONS, Member of Sierra Organ Club, Call Joanne Booth in Sunridge, Carson City (775)267-2429 WANTED: LICENSE PLATES AND FRAMES, WANTED: Musical instruments, Wanted: Motorcycle helmets 1940-1980, John (775)315-4930

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Dead Rabbit

One afternoon while doing some work in the garden I noticed my dog dragging something under the fence. Upon inspection, to my dismay, I realized it was the next-door neighbor’s daughter’s rabbit. For years I had watched her come home from school and head straight out to its cage, free it and play with it in the garden. I knew today would be no different and fearing for our dog, I had to think fast. The rabbit was quite dirty, as if it had put up quite a struggle, so I washed it off with the hose, combed it with the dog brush and blew it dry with the leaf blower. Upon finishing its grooming, I jumped the fence and replaced it back in its cage hoping its death would be written off as “natural causes”. Within the hour, the neighbor’s car pulled in and out popped the little girl, and as usual she headed straight for the cage. Only this time she stopped about six feet away and screamed “DDDDDAAAADDDDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Her father, panic stricken, stood looking at the cage. Being the good neighbor that I am, I rushed to fence and asked if there was anything I could do. Her father less than calmly blurted, “What kind of sick individual would dig up a little girl’s dead rabbit and put it back in its cage?”

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NEW 2.5 CFM VACUUM PUMP, GOOD FOR Servicing air conditioner system, etc $95 (775)463-4064 TIN LIZZIE 18” LONG ARM QUILTING MACHINE, 10’ aluminum Pinnacle table, adjusts to 5’, accessories included, laser, extra handles and more extras $3,500 firm (775)265-3232

Three Little Pigs

Supposedly a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six-year-old is. They think so logically. A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read. ‘And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: ‘Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?’ The teacher paused then asked the class: ‘And what do you think the man said?’ One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-offactly... ‘I think the man would have said - ‘I’ll be a son of a gun!! A talking pig!’ The teacher had to leave the room. WANTED TO BUY: USED MEDICAL POWER Scooter in good condition 775-297-3595

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Making a Little Ant’s Day!

I was outside eating a cookie and saw about 5 ants just roaming around on top of the steps. I noticed there was only one ant that wasn’t holding anything like the other 4 were holding Dorito bits or something and the ant seemed sad. It wasn’t even going at the same pace as the other ants. So I put a cookie crumb next to him and he picked it up and started running as fast as the other ants and I think I made that little ant’s day. 3 BEDROOM, 2 BATH HOUSE ON 1 ACRE with huge shop on the Walker River for sale in Walker CA., Reduced to $240,000, Contact Ruth Benvenuto with Intero, CA. DRE #01921842 (530)258-6097 MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 34 YEARS experience! Serving Carson Valley and surrounding areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351

Dentist Appointment

Then there’s the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his crotch. The dentist says, “Madam, I believe you’ve got a hold of my privates.” The woman replies, “Yes. Now, we’re going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren’t we?”

OVERWEIGHT?

High blood pressure? High cholesterol? Low Energy? Diabetic? Explore the possibility of better health so you can be the best you can be. Thousands have gotten healthier in dramatic ways using this program. Call You Can Be Healthy at (775)382-2555 and speak to an Independent Certified Health Coach or email DonandSandy@YouCanBeHealthy.org. There is no obligation and no pressure, just an opportunity to be healthier. JOB HUNTING? CHANGING CAREERS? SEEKING a promotion? Re-entering the job market? Beat the competition with a professional resume created by The Resume Business (775)267-2711 ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)7212880 GWA DRAFTING RESIDENTIAL DRAFTING Services, New Construction, Remodels and Additions. AutoCAD Drafting, Call for pricing, Contact Gary (559)967-5614

RUSSELL’S TREE SERVICE, SPECIALIZING IN Difficult Trees, Artistry in Tree Care, Stump Grinding, Fruit Trees, Licensed/Insured (775)685-0528 WOMANS LARGE HARLEY DAVIDSON motorcycle helmet, with Bling Bling, worn once $60 OBO, Lake Topaz 510-599-5664

Living Will

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a “Living Will” “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.” His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer. PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373 LAWN MAINTENANCE SERVICE, YARD CLEANING, mowing, sprinkler repairs, thatching, tree trimming, pruning, low prices with high quality, Martin M. Maintenance Services (530)721-5350

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Stop Redundancy

The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time. Their Pre-meeting Statement wanted to make this clear before they had their first meeting, so that it would not be confusing. So their first meeting will actually be their first meeting and they will not have a meeting before the first meeting. This should avoid having people show up for their first meeting before it is held, since to do so would be confusing to those who did so and this is what they want to avoid by reducing the confusion and lessening the repetition.

PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fishâ€Ś JWPetCare@aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065 JOURNEYMAN PAINTER (INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR), handyman, landscape design and installation, pool and pond maintenance, 30 years of experience, Highly competitive quotes, Senior discounts, Call Robert at (775)508-8404

GREATER HEALTH IS WITHIN YOUR REACH! Customized Wellness Coaching and Nutrition Consulting. Wellness Coaching, Whole Body Tune-up, Healthy Weight Management, Meal Planning, and more. Call now for complimentary consultation. www. positivelywhole.com (702)460-7205 PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Holiday Stress Busters

The Sin

Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of a church listening to a fiery preacher. When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs, “AMEN, BROTHER!” When the preacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled again, “PREACH IT, REVEREND!” And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying, they jumped to their feet and screamed, “RIGHT ON, BROTHER! TELL IT LIKE IT IS... AMEN!” But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the two got very quiet. One turned to the other and said, “He’s quit preaching and now he’s meddlin’.” SECURITY DOOR, FREE TO A GOOD HOME, 36”X80” complete with frame, no key, you will have to have one made, Carson City 408-218-6774 GET FAST INTERNET! UP TO 40 MBPS, WIRELESS! (not satellite, not DSL). Great in rural areas, www.rural-internet.us or call Patrick (775)297-4777 FIREWOOD, SEASONED, SPLIT, ALMOND ONLY $400 a cord, cut to size, under 16”, 16”-18”, 18”-22”, delivery available, Jon (775)246-7186

Holiday anxiety? Why does this time of the year create anxiety and stress to some people? Like in any social circle, the obligatory family gathering brings together different sibling personalities, lots of effort preparing food, shopping for gifts, and ample face time with each other. This non-routine scene may cause stress in individuals who are accustomed to their own lifestyle. Here are a few strategies to help you manage your anxiety. The first step is to recognize what your stress looks like and the potential causes. Sometimes we may bring stress on ourselves, and we need to learn to practice different behavior on how to respond in a more positive manner. Your body will respond better, reducing the load on your organ systems such as your heart, blood vessels, adrenals, and immune system. The key is to strengthen your stress-fighting mechanisms and prepare your body to cope with the various unpleasant situations. The foundation of healthy living starts with nutrition. Provide your body with whole foods consisting of fresh vegetables and fruits, whole grains and legumes, nuts and seeds, lean meats, and fermented foods for a healthy gut. Whole foods offer complete nutrients rich in antioxidants to build a strong immune system, and help regulate your blood sugar levels. Too much blood sugar in your system may lead to elevated cortisol levels which increase feelings of stress, cravings, and weight gain. Second, identify harmful behavior such as overeating, excessive behavior, emotional outbursts, or chemical dependency, and replace with positive coping methods such as reciting daily affirmations and feelings of gratitude, positive visualizations, goal setting and journal writing, and laughing more. Also, try calming your body with deep breathing exercises, yoga stretching, massage, working out, or take a walk in your neighborhood or park. Lastly, allow yourself to receive a good night’s rest to allow your cells, organs, and brain and blood sugar levels to reset and reprocess for the next day. When it comes to managing life, the main goal is to achieve balance by not adding unnecessary complexity to your life so you can be in control of the direction of your behavior and the outcome. Most importantly, you can enjoy the precious and valuable time with your family! Miriam is a Certified Wellness Coach and Holistic Nutrition Consultant. www.positivelywhole.com. NEW EMCO 400 SERIES SANDSTONE STORM door, never used, self-storing with one hand retractable screen, 36”x80”, new $200, sell for $140 530-6942557 HANDYMAN FOR ALL YOUR OUTSIDE NEEDS, yard cleanup, power wash, fence repair, minor jobs, free estimates, NV#11376PC (775)220-3363

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Birthday Cake Polka for Those Who May Remember! Sheriff John 1952

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Alright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and pulls out his accordion, and then starts singing the Birthday Cake Polka...Put another candle on my birthday cake We’re gonna bake a birthday cake Put another candle on my birthday cake I’m another year old today. I’m gonna have

a party with my birthday cake, Come on and take some birthday cake, Put another candle on my birthday cake I’m another year old today. We’ll have some pie and sandwiches And chocolate ice cream too. We’ll sing and play the day away. And one more thing I’m gonna do... I’ll blow out the candles on my birthday cake, And when I do, a wish I’ll make. Put another candle on my birthday cake. I’m another year old today. Happy Birthday to You, You’re another year old today. Happy November Birthdays!!!

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Born in 1880

Leila M. Wells, Part 6 (Final)

BEARS AND MONKEYS - When I was a child the coming of the bear was looked forward to with both fear and anticipation. When the word spread that the bear was coming I generally ran for the house but curiosity soon overcame my fear and I joined the other children on the side of the road. Generally there were two men, dirty and unkept, with the bear which was black or brown (cinnamon) lead by a chain fastened to the collar. One man lead the bear and the other man followed with a prod with a sharp point. When a crowd had gathered the bear was made to dance while one of the men sang “Tarry-ta-roon, ta roon ta ray” over and over. Then the men would shout “Twenty-five cents to see the bear climb the telephone pole.” Someone was always willing to part with the hard earned quarter. The men and bear usually spent the night in some farmer’s barn. The last travelling bear that I remember seeing appeared one morning just as breakfast was being served at the now vanished Hunter’s Home in New Russia. Not one of the boarders or help missed the sight. This was the summer of 1906. Another event which occurred each summer but was

looked for with great anticipation was the coming of the organ grinder hand organ man and his little monkey, Jocko. Jocko wore a little red jacket and did so many amusing things that the organ grinder usually resembled “The Pied Piper of Hamlin,” as he went along the street. The children nearly emptied their “piggy banks” to put money into Jocko’s little tin cup. Whenever he received a few pennies he’d climb onto the man’s shoulder and empty them into the man’s hand. The organ was an oblong box which the man carried on a strap around his neck. It had a crank on the right side which he turned to produce the music and a movable leg which was let down to help hold the organ while the crank was being turned. Oh! The joys and pleasures of childhood. D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)671-0808 VOICE AND PIANO LESSONS, BEGINNER to Advanced students, experienced teacher, performer, music degree. Call The Songlady! Carolyn Lancaster (775)720-1918 or (775)267-2582

Success

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In the eyes of the world I am not seen as much of a success. I have a tiny house not a mansion. I don’t wear fancy clothes. I don’t own an expensive car, or a plane, or a yacht. My bank account is always empty at the end of the month. I am not a CEO of a corporation. I haven’t made a movie, won a Grammy, or sold a million books. I am not famous. My picture has never been on a magazine cover. I have never had my own reality television show. Yet, in spite of all of this there are many times when I do feel like a success. When my grown up son gives me a hug and says: “I love you Dad”, I feel like a success. When my big dog walks over to me, puts his head on my lap, and looks up at me with his adoring brown eyes, I feel like a success. When I share a laugh with the cashier in the grocery store, I feel like a success. When I give my smile to a stranger I am walking by and find my gift returned, I feel like a success. When I send what few dollars I can to a charity and know that I am helping someone in need, I feel like a success. When I get a letter from someone who has been touched by the simple stories I write, I feel like a success. When I remember that God loves me in spite of all my faults and failings, I feel like a success. Perhaps what this world needs is a redefining of what success really is. Perhaps this world needs to recognize that fame fades, money is soon spent, power never lasts, and material things always turn to dust. Perhaps this world needs to see that the most successful life of all is one where you love God, yourself, and others. Perhaps we all need to realize that a successful life in the eyes of the world isn’t always a successful life in the eyes of Heaven. May you always see the success in your own life. May you always be a success in loving, giving, caring, and sharing. PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; you are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free. THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)2655541 or (775)901-1848

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Veterans Day By Cheryl Dyson

On Veterans Day we honor all, Who answered to a service call. Soldiers young, and soldiers old, Fought for freedom, brave and bold. Some have lived, while others died, And all of them deserve our pride. We’re proud of all the soldiers who, Kept thinking of red, white and blue. They fought for us and all our rights, They fought through many days and nights. And though we may not know each name, We thank ALL veterans just the same. I NEED HELP WITH TRAINING MY DONKEY before he gets too big to handle (530)370-6807 The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers. PACK SADDLES FOR HORSES/MULES with Panniers and Slings; Aluminum lightweight wagon for one or 2 horses, seats 10, new Bows and Tarp to cover wagon included (775)465-1812 JANOME MEMORY CRAFT 6600P SEWING machine + accessories $350 OBO 775-265-3232 “A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter65@gmail.com or (775)530-8932 CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: All types including Silver, Copper, Rhinestones, Old Plastics, Glass, Pot Metal, Pins, Bracelets, Rings, Necklaces, Old Watches, Lockets, larger quantities preferred, please leave clear message on home phone, I call everyone back, Joanne (775)465-9422 AKC STANDARD POODLE PUP 11 WEEKS old, all black potty training started and leash training started shots up to date (530)370-6807 14’ ALUMINUM BOAT AND TRAILER, 9.9 JOHNSON 2 stroke electric start motor, Minn Kota electric trolling Motor 50lb thrust, many extras, runs great $1,100 OBO ; Hi-axle welding torch cart 12” wheels, torch hoses and gauges $75 OBO; Tread Climber TC3000 very good shape $300 OBO; text or call Don/ Yerington (775)224-3247 SMITH VALLEY IRRIGATION – SERVING NEVADA and Sierra Communities for 40 Years with Ag Irrigation Systems and Parts (775)465-2316

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

You name it, we probably have it!

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