Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
1
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
2
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 14+ Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 RUSSELL’S TREE SERVICE, SPECIALIZING IN Difficult Trees, Artistry in Tree Care, Stump Grinding, Fruit Trees, Licensed/Insured (775)685-0528 D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)6710808 MOVING SALE! SATURDAY AND SUNDAY, April 28th and 29th, 9am-2pm; couches, large coffee table, dining room table with chairs and China hutch, patio furniture, pictures, etc., 1753 Bella Casa, cross street Monte Vista, Minden ELECTROLYSIS AND LASER FOR HAIR REMOVAL; Complimentary, confidential consultation. 33 years experience. Weekday, evening, Saturday appointments available, Sally Battista (775)782-6190
GET FAST INTERNET! UP TO 40 MBPS, WIRELESS! (not satellite, not DSL), Great in rural areas, www.ruralinternet.us or call Patrick (775)297-4777 MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627 AR15 CARBINE, 5.56MM, WITH C-MORE RED DOT Sight, Scout type mount, Three magazines $800, Dave/ Yerington (202)538-1182 ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)721-2880 WEEKLY LAWN CARE, AND AERATION, 14+ years experience, quality service, serving Carson Valley, Carson Valley Lawn Care, Insured (775)230-2546 LARRY’S TRACTOR SERVICE, CLEANUP WORK, rototilling, backhoe, box scraper, dump trailer, rake, hole drilling, affordable rates (775)267-2245 or (775)690-4632 WINCHESTER MODEL 190 $200; E.A.A. WITNESS P. Carry, 9mm $350; Raven 25 automatic $150 (775)7821011
3
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Things My Mother Taught Me
My Mother taught me LOGIC... “If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can’t go to the store with me.” My Mother taught me MEDICINE... “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they’re going to freeze that way.” My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD... “If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job!” My Mother taught me ESP... “Put your sweater on; don’t you think that I know when you’re cold?” My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE... “What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you... Don’t talk back to me!” My Mother taught me HUMOR... “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.” My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT... “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.” My mother taught me ABOUT MAKING LOVE... “How do you think you got here?” My mother taught me about GENETICS...“You are just like your father!” My mother taught me about my ROOTS... “Do you think you were born in a barn?” My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE... “When you get to be my age, you will understand.” My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... “Just wait until your father gets home.” My mother taught me about RECEIVING... “You are
4
going to get it when we get home.” And my all time favorite thing- JUSTICE “One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU. Then you’ll see what it’s like.” FREE 60” TOSHIBA COLOR TV WITH SURROUND sound and newer lamps, works good, also, free black leather recliner, you pick up, near Foothill and Kingsbury, Gardnerville (775)782-5279 TAKE CARE OF YOUR LOVED ONES. WILLS and Trusts. Day R. Williams, Attorney at Law, 1601 Fairview Drive, Suite C., Carson City, NV. Call Day today! (775)885-8398
Hillbilly Accident
A Hillbilly was involved in an accident. The Trooper asked him, “Didn’t you see that yield sign when you were merging onto the highway?” The Hillbilly replied, “Ahh sure I did...and I did it...yup, I Yieeeld and Yieeeld at that there truck and he justa kepp on comin’!!!” “YOUR HOMETOWN HAULER SINCE 1996!” J.R.’s Hauling, Junk and Trash, Carson Valley/Carson City, $139 a load plus dump fee, (775)265-6813
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
®
5
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Liver and Cheese....
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. They’re speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.” The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says “I love liver and cheese.” “Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle. “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.” She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said: “How well can you do?” “Um. I HATE liver and cheese,” blurts the Golden Retriever. “My, my,” said the Poodle. “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.” She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?” The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in finesse, is the Chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says: “Liver alone. Cheese mine.”
WNC Community Education
Classes begin soon: R.I.P.P.E.D. great exercise class; Emergency Preparedness “Grab & Go” Binder, with Cloud back up and eBay I - The Basics of Selling. To view the dates, times, class descriptions/fees, and or to register for these classes go to www.campusce.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4423 HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/ INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)691-5119 CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Joanne, please leave clear message (775)465-9422 ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, all water sports, furnished cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at eaglelakeheritage.com or (800)459-5179 You can dance through any storm if thunder is music to your ears.
6
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
YARD ENHANCEMENT HANDYMAN, SERVICES, fence repair/rebuild, tree and brush trim/removal, defensible space improvement, clean-up, hauling, dump runs, Kelly/Gardnerville (209)352-0084 PFAFF SEWING/QUILTING MACHINE PURCHASED in 2011, includes manuals and all accessories, over 200 stitches, free motion capability and 10” throat $899 OBO, Gardnerville (650)592-0944
HELP WANTED! Visit sierrascoop.com/jobs
Remain Independent – Remain at Home
The “little things” may become increasingly difficult as we age, but this doesn’t mean it’s time to surrender. We provide affordable, non-medical assistance for seniors at home. Light housekeeping, meal prep, bathing/grooming, companionship, family relief, and incidental transportation to appointments. A few hours to 24/7 care. Eden Home Care, eden-health.com (775)392-2000 WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192
7
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
8
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
Cowboy’s Canine
A cowboy was walking down the street with his new pet dachshund. The passerby asked him why a cowboy would own that kind of dog. The cowboy answered, “Well, somebody told me to get along little doggie.” PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, inside or out, Fences (775)901-1912 ANTIQUE HAY FORK – 6 FORKS $600 OBO; Carter Kart side by side seating, $1,700 new, asking $1,000 OBO; Mid 70’s Chevy pickup chrome rear bumper $100 OBO; Hydraulic lift gate, fits pickup or one ton truck $600 OBO (775)315-0303
Barking Lot Sale!
Saturday, May 19th, 2018, 8am-3pm. Sell your “stuff” and help maintain your local dog park. 12’x12’ sales spaces available. $25 a space in advance, $30 after May 1st. Mail checks to DVDP PO Box 995, Dayton, NV 89403. Want to donate your stuff? Drop off items Friday May 18th, 4pm-6pm at Dayton Valley Dog Park, Dayton Valley Road and Como Road in Dayton. For more information contact Robin Bender at (775)2971359 or email her at rgbenderdvdp@gmail.com. Thank you for your support! JOB HUNTING? CHANGING CAREERS? SEEKING a promotion? Re-entering the job market? Beat the competition with a professional resume created by The Resume Business (775)267-2711
LANDSCAPE AND MAINTENANCE CREW MEMBERS needed for the Carson Valley area, full time positions, Total Lawn & Landscape, Rodger (775)691-5966
1997-2002 JEEP WRANGLER TJ SOFT TOP, includes side curtains and door panels with all hardware, like new $450 OBO, Gardnerville (650)208-2761
LAWN MAINTENANCE, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, HOA, Weekly Lawn Care, Fertilizing, Spring Cleanup, Equal Payment Plans, Package Programs, Licensed And Bonded, 22 Years Serving Carson Valley, Total Lawn & Landscape (775)782-3505
RENT ME FOR SPRING CLEANING, PUT A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove (775)2972320 TREK 4300 ALUMINUM BICYCLE, 24 SPEED, 26” wheels, excellent condition $125 OBO 775-267-7587
9
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Go Fund Me Account Established for Wife of Terminally Ill Marine Veteran
PIANO AND ORGAN PRIVATE INSTRUCTIONS, Member of Sierra Organ Club, Call Joanne Booth in Sunridge, Carson City (775)267-2429 MILWAUKEE AIRLESS SPRAYER, VARIABLE to 3,000 psi, 25’ pressure hose, new, never used $75, after 3pm (775)461-0583 QUALITY HOME MAINTENANCE AND IMPROVEMENTS, prompt, honest and reliable, fair pricing, all work guaranteed, call for free estimate and visit! Frank (775)309-7299 HOT TUB SERVICE AND REPAIR, WEEKLY and bi weekly service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)267-2490 CLEAN OUT THE SHED SALE; OVER SEVENTY items; electrical, plumbing, hardware, garden automotive, appliances, nuts, bolts screws tools, emailed list with prices sent on request, glensheard@gmail.com (775)7622220 MASTER HOROLOGIST, CLOCK REPAIR, MUSEUM Quality Furniture, Chair Caning and Antique Everything Restoration, Grandfather Clock House Calls! A-1 Restorations since 1967, Larry (775)781-1616
10
By Dawn Cranfield, Carson City, NV Carson City, Nevada residents Gene and Ruth Ratner have faced a lot of adversity in their lives, probably the same as most other nonagenarians, war, divorce, death of loved ones, disease, more than some and not as many as others. However, the latest challenge, and likely the last one they will have to endure on this planet together as man and wife of over 50 years, is a terminal cancer diagnosis 94 year old Gene got over a year ago. Although Gene is self-conscious of the swelling on his lip and face the cancer has caused, it is the only sign he has a disease threatening to end his lively spirit. We (my boyfriend, Mike, and I) met the Ratners a year ago when we moved upstairs from their comfortable twobedroom apartment. At first glance, we thought them to be energetic and youthful 70 somethings, what a surprise to learn their true age of 94 and 90. Our friendship grew over the year and we came to love Gene and Ruth as grandparents. Gene and Mike connected over a love of military and have spent countless hours exchanging stories of their enlisted time, I enjoy making them soups, smoothies, candies and goodies and talking with them about “the good old days” when our world was less technology-driven and more about personal connections. More About Gene - In 1942, an 18-year old Minneapolis, Minnesota, native enlisted in the Marines not knowing what his future held. Gene became part of the Second Marine Division, Company E, Second Battalion, Sixth Regiment (E-2-6), one of 150 soldiers fighting for the United States of America. During a battle on Saipan, enemy fire struck Gene piercing his right lung severely damaging it and ending his military service. He would spend five months in the hospital before returning to civilian life with the bullet still intact, a constant reminder of his service to the citizens of our country. Of the 150 men who left the States with his Company, most died in battles at Guadalcanal, Tarawa, Saipan and Tinian, many others fell victim to malaria, naturally some died of natural causes, but of those few who remained, they continued their close bond through annual reunions. Today, though, Gene is the only surviving veteran of his unit. After recuperating, Gene returned to his hometown then eventually moved on to California and to a job at Heublein, Inc., and alcohol distillery, where he ultimately met Ruth. Ruth jokes about Gene’s maneuvers for compelling her to go out on a date with him, “He had such a way with the ladies and I wasn’t going to fall for it,” she remembers with a twinkle in her eye. Eventually, though, he wore her down… and the rest, as they say, is history. Gene became a father to Ruth’s two children from her previous marriage, their home and life has been full of adventure, laughs, patience and a lot of love. In 1997, Gene saw People Magazine had named George Clooney as their “sexiest man alive”, being the character he
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
is he took pen to paper and wrote them a letter. He inquired as to how they could possibly declare Clooney as “sexiest man alive” if they had not judged every man in the world. Somehow, Gene’s letter caught the attention of a higher-up at People and somebody in their letter’s department called him. He pled his case when they questioned him about his letter and why he thought somebody other than Clooney should be chosen, Gene responded, “Well, if you had judged me, you would have chosen me.” The next issue contained a copy of Gene’s letter. Gene’s humor has not waned with his circumstance; he
remains as funny, positive and lovable as I imagine he has always been. The Request - One evening we took a tray of cocktails down to Gene and Ruth’s place for a nightcap. As usual, the men laughed and talked about their military service while Ruth and I talked about family and pined for days gone by and discussed dial-up telephones, cocktail parties and community and planned the next time we would get together. Just as we were about to leave, Gene turned to us and made a request, “I know I don’t have much time left. Continued...
11
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Fatal Doctors
When I’m gone, you two will take care of my Ruthie, won’t you?” To that, Ruth responded, “Oh Gene, I won’t be able to afford to stay here…” her eyes filling with tears. We would like to raise money for Ruth to stay in her apartment while Gene is still here, so he is at peace knowing his Ruthie has a place to stay for a year. To donate please go to https://www.gofundme.com/keepruth-at-dolphin-bay 1959 13’ POWERCAT, 7.5HP Honda electric trolling motor, fish finder, radio, swivel seats, trailer $2,500 OBO, new bilge, aerator pumps, boat ladder $50 for all, fishing poles (775)342-9718 TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, clipper blades, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079 MKD CONSTRUCTION, GENERAL ENGINEERING, concrete structures, concrete flat work, grading, roadway improvements, drainage, storm drains, underground utilities (water and sewer), paving, fencing, barrier rail, environmental improvements, commercial and residential snow removal, excellent reputation and references available, NV#50061 and CA#818376, Mike (775)246-1900 or (775)315-2416
12
By Karen Dustman, Woodfords, CA “I do not believe in doctors,” quipped Brigham Young’s older brother, Joseph, in 1858. “I would rather call upon the Lord.” It was a fairly common sentiment at the time, and for good reason: a wide variety of quacks were happily dispensing an equally wide variety of quack medicines. There were “botanical” doctors; there were homeopathic physicians. There were traveling patent-medicine peddlers and newspaper ads confidently promoting “cure-all” remedies. In addition to ordinary doctors, there were “Thomsonian” physicians — followers of Samuel Thomson, a medical rebel who believed “restoring heat” was the trick for healing a patient. The harsh Thomson protocol involved an uncomfortable series of emetics, enemas and sweat baths, casually summarized as “Puke ‘em, sweat ‘em, and purge ‘em.” Even mainstream practitioners back in the day were sometimes dismissed by suspicious citizens as “Poison Doctors.” High doses of mercury and techniques like blood-letting were not unusual, and other quirky remedies seem outright bizarre by today’s standards. Dr. Benjamin King approved the use of cow dung as a poultice to treat Hosea Grosch’s badly infected foot at Gold Hill in 1857, for example — a ministration that didn’t help and might have hastened Grosch’s demise. As late as 1892, a pneumonia sufferer in Virginia City was relieved of half a pint of his blood in a well-intended medical intervention. Ads for Ah Kee, a Botanical Physician with an office on Third Street in Carson City, claimed to have “cured many patients in town” — but there was also a Chinese section quietly located at Lone Mountain Cemetery. The only ones who might have been happy about all these attempts at “curing” were the local undertakers, and those proliferated. Early practitioners of the mortuary arts in Carson Valley included M.A. Downey, George Kitzmeyer, and Samuel C. Wright. Undertakers were evidently none too popular. Quipped the Reno Gazette Journal about what they called this “disagreeable business”: “[The undertaker] attends church and keenly surveys the faces of the congregation with a critical eye, . . . deftly tuck[ing] his business card under the door of the invalid. He is jolly when pneumonia gallops through a community, and howls with delight over a wholesale railroad accident. He can diagnose a case of physical degeneracy of any kind with unerring certainty at a distance of fifty feet. . . He knows the dimensions of every man in the community and the coffins he furnishes are always guaranteed to fit, so that the defunct customer can rest without danger of contracting chafes and bunions.” [Reno Gazette Journal, June 3, 1882]. One unfortunate who landed in the undertaker’s parlor, a victim of prevailing medical wisdom and probably malpractice, was young Harrison Shrieves. Continued on following page...
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
13
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Insulting Parrot
A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, “Hey, lady! You’re really ugly!” The lady was angry, but she continued on her way. On the way home, she passed by the pet store again, and again, the parrot said, “Hey, lady! You’re really ugly!” Furious, the lady stormed into the store and threatened to sue the store. The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn’t say it again. The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot. “Hey, lady!” it said. “Yes?” “You know...” GREG’S SMALL ENGINE SERVICE AND REPAIR! Lawn Mowers, Snow Blowers, Portable Generators; On Site Pick-Up and Delivery, Serving Carson City, Carson Valley, Dayton - gregtenbroeck@yahoo.com or visit us at gregsmallengine.com (775)790-0435 or (530)307-1132 DASILVA’S HAULING/ HANDYMAN SERVICES, Cleanup, tree trimming/removal, tractor work, rock and dirt removal, weed pulling, fence repairs, NV#03-19423 (775)230-3436 or (775)354-3328
A Civil War veteran (he had enlisted in the 10th Ohio Cavalry when he was about 15), Shrieves moved west after the war and landed a plum job as a conductor on the V&T Railroad. Fate continued to smile on Shrieves for the next few years. Around 1870 he married Louise Tufly, daughter of George Tufly, wealthy proprietor of Carson City’s St. Charles Hotel (and later Nevada’s state Treasurer). It wasn’t quite the “Ides of March” that got him, but it was close. Harrison Shrieves was given a well-intentioned dose of the homeopathic remedy “Nux Vomica” by Dr. Stephenson of Virginia City in 1873. Concocted from seeds containing strychnine, Nux Vomica was used by some practitioners in dilute form to treat a wide range of illnesses from constipation and heartburn to flu. Harrison, however, was apparently given much too much. He suffered for months, and was just 28 when he finally succumbed on March 11, 1874 from his treatment. He is buried in Lone Mountain Cemetery. Karen Dustman is a writer in Woodfords, California. Her local history books are available at www.clairitage.com. 2.1 CUBIC FOOT REFRIGERATOR, FREEZER combo, runs on 110 Volts or 12 volts, ideal for camping, less than 1 year old $200 OBO (775)267-7587 JAMES A. FARNHAM, EA, TAX PREPARATION, Federal and State, prior years and other representation, 20 years experience, reasonable rates (775)392-0321
14
PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827 JR POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE AND REPAIR, ALL makes, models and years; Quads, OHV, Dirt and Street Bikes; from tune up to full rebuild. 35 years experience! Dayton, jrpowersports.com or (775)241-2530
Berean Bible Church Christ Alone!
Sunday Worship Service 9:30 am; Children’s Sunday School provided. Women’s Bible Study – 2nd and 4th Friday 8am; Men Bible Study – Fridays 8am; CoEd Bible Study – Tuesdays 5pm. Call for details (775)782-3931 1516 Hwy. 395, Gardnerville (in the HAAS Center WE’LL KEEP YOU IN STITCHES, WE COVER autos, furniture and ATV’s, 47 years experience, Tweeds Upholstery, Gardnerville, tweedsupholstery@yahoo.com or (775)782-5812 PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
Blonde Men
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.” The clerk said, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?” The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, “Yeah, I meant two-byfours.” “All right. How long do you need them?” The customer paused for a minute and said, “I’d better go check.” After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house.”
TOP OF THE LINE TEMPURPEDIC SINGLE BED $375 OBO; 2 white dressers, 9 drawer, 6’ long with mirror $75; 5 drawer, 44” high $50; 6’ soft colors couch with 3 pillow back $100 OBO; round glass top chrome table $50 (775)267-3316 SCI GRADING EXCAVATING ROAD WORK, house pads, drainage and erosion control, septic systems and pumping, wet and dry utilities, demolition, water and dump truck service, Erik Viksna NV#076958, CA#954210, (530)306-2647 or (775)629-9000
BEADED ELK SKIN FRINGED JACKET $300; Buckskin beaded moccasins, size 8 $100; full length Indian Headdress with blue trim $500; Fringed buckskin shoulder pouch $30 (775)513-9114 MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 35 years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919 USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539
15
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Better Write it Down...
My Grandpa and Grandma were sitting on their porch swing enjoying the nice evening breeze, when Grandpa lovingly leaned over and said, “Hey Ma, I’m gonna have some ice cream, would you like some?” “Yeah, Pa, but you’d better write it down or you’ll forget”, says Grandma. Grandpa replies, “I won’t forget.” “Alright then”, says Grandma, “I’d like nuts and whipped cream and a cherry on mine. You’d better write that down, Pa you’re gonna forget it.” Disgruntled, Grandpa storms off to the kitchen mumbling that he wouldn’t forget. Well he’s in there a long time, and when he finally does return, he has the best lookin’ plate of scrambled eggs you ever saw. He smiles his best smile and leans over to give it to Grandma. She just smiles back and says, “I told you that you’d better write it down, you old coot, you forgot my bacon!!!” HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 21 years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453
May 13th- Happy Mother’s Day! 16
Flying Pig Flea Market
Our next dates will be May 19th, 8am-4pm, May 20th, 9am-4pm, Fuji Park Building, Carson City. Be a vendor. Come to browse, for information call (775)882-4717 or (775)315-0008 INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX preparation, Federal and all States, prior years, audit representation, 30 years experience, reasonable rates (775)392-0418 JEEP WHEELS AND TIRES, FIVE WHEEL AND tube military type tires, 600x16 on 5 lug rims, all for $400 (775)267-3473 GOT WOOD? SAMMY’S FIREWOOD, HONEST Quality Service, soft and hard wood, delivery available, located in Carson City, (775)315-0834 HDS INSURANCE REPRESENTING NUMEROUS top companies, we do the shopping for you, right priced, right coverage, all lines of insurance (775)267-9947 RESIDENTIAL CLEANING, LICENSED, BONDED and insured with references, Free estimates, great cleaning, fair prices, Samantha (775)220-4252
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
Parents Evolution
My wife and I are both the youngest child. Combine that with our own experience as parents and we often satirically talk about how things change as you have more children: Feeling the Baby Move - First Child: I placed my hand on my wife’s tummy every chance I could for two months waiting for that first time when I could feel the baby move. Hours upon hours I waited until that magic moment when, I felt this little movement. We called all of our relatives to tell them about the blessed experience. Second Child: When it first happened, my wife called me at the office. I quickly ran home and felt the baby move. We included the experience in all of our letters to family members Third Child: She told me the baby moved. I told her I would check it out during the next commercial break. I missed out because her mother called on the telephone so I went on watching Monday night football. By the end of the third quarter, I finally felt the baby move. Fourth Child: We were in bed and I was trying to sleep. I turned to her and said “Can’t you make your tummy stay still? I’m trying to sleep.” When it became clear that the baby would be jumping around for a while, we called the pizza man for a delivery. The Trip to the Hospital - First Child: Every time we felt the slightest B&H contraction, we rushed to the hospital. I would carry my wife to the car and lay her down in the back seat surrounded by pillows. Second Child: We timed the contractions. By the time she had three in thirty minutes, we rushed to the hospital. She sat in the front seat, with it leaned back and a pillow behind her head and another at her feet. Third Child: I came home from the office as soon as she started having regular contractions. When they were five minutes apart and hard, we went to the hospital. I gave her a pillow to hold along the way. Fourth Child: When she called me at the office and told me that she was having contractions hard and five minutes apart, I told her to drive to the hospital. I would meet her there as soon as I finished the set of correspondence I was working on. I reminded her not to forget the pillows. The First Step - First Child: My wife grabbed the camera. I grabbed the Video Camera. My wife took four rolls of film. We immediately ran out to the one-hour developing place and had all four rolls developed with double prints. We had the best picture blown up to 24” X 36” and framed. We hung it up in the entry hall. I had a professional studio turn the four hours of video I taped into a one-hour documentary complete with voice-over by a local anchor-man. Second Child: We took one roll of film and five minutes worth of video. The next day we took the film and had it developed by a twenty-four hour developing center Third Child: We couldn’t find the video-camera and we only had five shots left on the roll of film. We took all five shots but I don’t remember if we ever got the roll developed. Continued on following page....
17
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The Difference
Q: What’s the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale? A: A northern fairy tale begins with, “Once upon a time...” A southern fairy tale begins with, “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this...” 3 POINT ANGLE BLADE; SINGLE AXLE disc $150 each or $200 for both (775)246-9227 ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)265-4766 WANTED! STRONG PAIR OF HANDS TO Help organize out-buildings, garage and yard, $15 per hour, Gardnerville area (775)782-3770 HANDYMAN FOR ALL YOUR OUTSIDE NEEDS, yard cleanup, power wash, fence repair, minor jobs, free estimates, NV#11376PC (775)246-9899 FIREWOOD, SEASONED, SPLIT, ALMOND ONLY $420 a cord, cut to size, under 16”, 16”-18”, 18”-22”, delivery available, Jon (775)246-7186
May 19th- Armed Forces Day Fourth Child: I quickly got up and grabbed the camera. I placed it up high so the child wouldn’t grab it. The First Time the Child Fell and Got a Cut - First Child: My wife and I frantically ran over to the child. We swept him up and rushed him to the emergency room. No stitches were needed but we spent the night with him in his room just in case the bleeding started again. Second Child: We walked over to her, picked her up and quickly bandaged her up. We spent the next two hours rocking her in the living room to comfort the pain. Third Child: I told my wife that if he was still crying in a couple of minutes, we should go over and make sure he isn’t hurt too badly. When he didn’t stop crying, we bandaged up the cut and laid him in his bed for a while but we went on about our business. Fourth Child: Put a bandage on the cut and told him it’d get better after he stopped crying. FIREARMS WANTED! ESTATE COLLECTIONS or single items: Winchester, Colts, Smith and Wesson, Luger’s and others. Appraisals upon request, Licensed Gary (775)267-2045 or (775)671-0563 AFFORDABLE LAB TEST - CBC, THYROID, HORMONES, Cholesterol, Testosterone and more! No Insurance. For appointment call Millennium Medical (775)783-1127
18
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
19
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The 29th Annual Kids’ Fishing Derby
This year’s derby will be held June 3th and 4th, 2018 at Lampe Park in Gardnerville; hosting all children ages 3-12. Tickets to attend this volunteer run event are free; however, you must pre-register to receive a free session ticket. Derby hats, t-shirts and other resale items will be available for purchase. Raffle tickets are available for $1 each or 6 for $5. Registration forms, for mail-in only, are available at the Douglas County Parks and Recreation Department; located on Waterloo Lane in Gardnerville. Registration and volunteer sign-ups will begin on April 1st and will continue every Saturday through the month of May from 10am-1pm at the Gardnerville Walgreens. Volunteers are needed to help set up, tear down, register, river help, fish cleaning and more. If you are interested in becoming a volunteer, please pick up a volunteer form at the Parks/Recreation Department and mail it in or stop by Walgreens starting April 1st. For further information, please contact Laura Ramirez (775)430-0592, Heather Gertsch (775)684-9018, Tiffany Ellis (775)782-2182 or (KFDVolunteers@aol.com) BEAUTIFUL MAPLE DINING ROOM SET, EXTENSION table with 6 chairs, Buffet, Corner Hutch, Serving Cart, excellent condition $500 OBO (775)267-7587 LIVING WATER IS THE CLEANING SERVICE you can depend on, Residential and Commercial, etc., NV License #06-22437 Angelina (775)229-3178
Set It Free
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your phone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it. WANTED, FOR LEASE OR RENT, 10 ACRE+ field or pasture to train Border Collies on sheep, sheep will not be left unattended, Ed/Minden (562)212-2313 HARRY’S HAULING; PIANOS, SPAS, SAFES OR anything else, serving the Carson Valley communities (775)291-6648 NUVO WATER SOFTENER, PAID $1,099 MAKE offer, Jewelers Buffer $300 (775)315-0303 SMITH VALLEY IRRIGATION – SERVING NEVADA and Sierra Communities for 40 Years with Ag Irrigation Systems and Parts (775)465-2316 $69 SERVICE CALL, ACADEMY APPLIANCE Service; washers, dryers, refrigerators, ranges, dishwashers, compactors, some areas extra charge, Serving Carson Valley (775)781-4725
20
Is That a Dog in the Back Seat?
It was the end of the day when I parked my police car in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. “Is that a dog you got in the back seat there?” he asked. “It sure is,” I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the car. Finally he said, “What’d he do?” NEVADA CCW CLASSES $50, EMAIL tacaimnv@ gmail or call (775)360-5214 POOR HEALTH FORCES SALE OF 2017 HONDA ATV, 250cc’s, 2-wheel drive, just like new $3,600 (775)465-2359 HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)267-1958 HIGH ROLLERS PAINTING FOR ALL YOUR PAINTING needs! Competitive rates and quality workmanship, bonded and insured, NV#44048, highrollerspainting.net or (775)267-2534
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
Two Story House
A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviewed some papers and then said, ‘please tell me why you are seeking a divorce.’ ‘Because,’ the man said, ‘I live in a two-story house.’ The Judge replies, ‘what kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two-story house?’ The man answers, ‘Well Judge, one story is ‘I have a headache’ and the other story is ‘It’s that time of the month.’’ GOT DIRTY WINDOWS? ABC WINDOW CLEANERS, gutter and roof cleaning, rescreening, pressure washing, 30 years experience, NV#20161064184, CA#310507, Gardnerville resident (530)544-0590
CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: All types including Silver, Copper, Rhinestones, Old Plastics, Glass, Pot Metal, Pins, Bracelets, Rings, Necklaces, Old Watches, Lockets, larger quantities preferred, please leave clear message on home phone, I call everyone back, Joanne (775)465-9422 1940 LINCOLN ZEPHYR COUPE, NEEDS restoring, no engine or transmission, many restored parts, good glass, new windshield, good grill $4,800 (775)241-7526 NEW AIR CONDITIONER FOR RV, 13,500 BTU’S, dometic tested but never used, best offer (530)208-6163
21
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” OLD IS WHEN
“OLD” IS WHEN - Your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs for some romance,” and you answer, “Pick one; I can’t do both!” “OLD” IS WHEN - Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot. “OLD” IS WHEN - A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door. “OLD” IS WHEN - Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. “OLD” IS WHEN - You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along. “OLD” IS WHEN - You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. “OLD” IS WHEN - “Getting a little action” means you don’t need to take any fiber today. “OLD” IS WHEN - “Getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot. “OLD” IS WHEN - An “all nighter” means not getting up to use the bathroom. “OLD” IS WHEN - You are not sure these are jokes. WANTED: KNIVES – FOLDING, HUNTING; MILITARY, New or used, any quantity. Wanted: Tobacco Pipes – Used or new, any quantity Jeff (775)720-2577 1992 FORD F250, RUNS ON PROPANE AND gasoline asking $2,500 OBO (775)266-3820
Do You Suffer from Pain…
lack of balance or flexibility? Change learned habitual patterns of movement with “Semantics” Awareness Movement classes. Thursdays 10:30am–11:30am and Mondays 4pm-5pm, Douglas Activity Center, Gardnerville (775)7825500 HANDYMAN, EXPERIENCED IN MOST HOME Improvements or Repairs, Quality Workmanship, Insured, NV#20101037419 (775)781-5531 or (775)315-5179 POOL TABLE OAK (EXCELLENT CONDITION) playing surface 45”x89” $1,200 OBO, Scott (775)2657525 HYDRAULIC AND PNEUMATIC AIR CYLINDERS repair and rebuild, log splitters, tractors, farm equipment, dump trucks and trailers, etc. all makes and models. Machining, welding, fabrication, design, reasonable rates! 18 years experience, Ramco Fabrication, Shawn (775)267-7358 CALLING ALL CONTRACTORS. IF YOU OWN a small construction company and are finding it hard to keep up with the bookkeeping, payroll and or taxes we’re your answer. Pro-Balanced Bookkeeping and Tax Service (775)246-3363
22
Nobody Available
A man was going to bed one night when his wife told him that he had left the light on in the shed. She could see the light was on from the bedroom window. As the man looked for himself he saw that there were people in the shed taking things. The man phoned the police, but they told him that no one was in the area to help him at that time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available. He said “OK,” hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. “Hello” he said, “I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now ‘cause I’ve shot them.” Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: “I thought you said that you shot them!” The man replied, “I thought you said there was nobody available!” HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK RESURFACING and repair, interior doors, windows and interior/ exterior trim, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235 B&W FLIP BALL GOOSENECK HITCH, VERY little use, came out of a Ford $200 (760)914-1822
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
23
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Outrageous Lying
Man on the Ladies Tee...
It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course, and I was beginning my pre-shot routine on #1, visualizing my upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker. “Would the gentleman on the Ladies Tee back up to the Men’s Tee, please!!” I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again, the announcement--”Would the MAN on the WOMEN’S Tee kindly back up to the Men’s Tee.” I finally stopped, turned, looked through the clubhouse window directly at the person with the mike and shouted back, “Would the person in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot?!” THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848 MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 34 YEARS experience! Serving Carson Valley and surrounding areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351 SEW-WHAT UPHOLSTERY, CUSTOM work, leather and antiques, 40+ years experience, Carson Valley, Leslie (775)901-2035
24
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: “May I see your driver’s license?” Driver: “I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.” Officer: “May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?” Driver: “It’s not my car. I stole it.” Officer: “The car is stolen?” Driver: “That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.” Officer: “There’s a gun in the glove box?” Driver: “Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.” Officer: “There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?” Driver: “Yes, sir.” Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: “Sir, can I see your license?” Driver: “Sure. Here it is.” It was valid. Captain: “Who’s car is this?” Driver: “It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’ card.” The driver owned the car. Captain: “Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?” Driver: “Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.” Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box. Captain: “Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it.” Driver: “No problem.” Trunk is opened; no body. Captain: “I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.” Driver: “Yeah, I’ll bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.” 8’ BEIGE COUCH $65; 3 SIZES AMMUNITION cans $5-$20; service 12 Lenox Westwind $550; Bullet molds, new and used before 7pm (775)266-3435 CRAFTSMAN CONSTRUCTION LLC, Specializing in Painting, Remodels, Tile, Finish Carpentry, Decks, Home Repairs, Window and Door Replacement, Quality Workmanship with over 28 years experience, free estimates, NV Lic.60315, NVPainting Lic.82727, craftsmanconstruction.com or (775)690-1749 ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $499, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
Diet Tips
A few women were discussing diet tips. When it was mentioned that getting enough exercise and sleep were just as important as watching food intake, one woman responded with surprise that sleep was a factor. Another replied: “Of course sleep is a factor. The only time I’m not eating is when I’m sleeping!” HANDY HAMILTONS HANDYMAN SERVICES, Experienced Handyman, Quality work at a fair price, Free estimates, Call Mark Hamilton (775)720-9595
$200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461 THE CHICKS HAVE ARRIVED AT BENSON FEED; we also carry wood stove pellets, Pacific Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, Carson City (775)882-3999
25
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Animal Group Names
Maybe you know that a group of lions is called a pride, but other animal groups have even weirder names, like a streak of tigers, and a sloth of bears. A glaring of cats - Domestic cats are superb hunters, partly because of a secret weapon—their glare. They have special light-reflecting eyes that help them see their prey at night. A bloat of hippopotamuses - A hippo may eat up to 150 pounds of grass a day. But don’t call them bloated. A hippopotamus can weigh up to 8,000 pounds, so its food intake is actually relatively small. A leap of leopards -A leopard can leap over 20 feet and jump up to 10 feet into the air. Leopards don’t leap together as a group though—they’re solitary big cats. But their leaping ability helps them nab prey such as speedy gazelles. A murder of crows - Ravens have been featured in scary stories and myths for hundreds of years, probably because they’re scavengers often found near dead animals. But crows (which are very closely related to ravens) aren’t scary—they’re actually very social. A bask of crocodiles - Crocodiles are cold-blooded creatures, meaning they can’t regulate their own body temperature and rely on the surrounding temperature to do it for them. That’s why they’re often spotted basking in the sunlight. A zeal of zebras - It might look like zebras in a herd are biting each other... Continued
Come Join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church
Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 5pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)2679590 1988 SUZUKI SAMURAI, VERY GOOD CONDITION, hard top, always garaged, custom front bumper and set up to be towed, have all maintenance records $5,700 (775)465-2359 COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, davenportlandscape.com or (775)265-1491 or (775)721-8439 GENEALOGY - THOROUGH RESEARCH OF FAMILY histories. A unique gift for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or yourself! www.PersonalPedigree. com or Lisa (775)450-3175 WANTED: LICENSE PLATES AND FRAMES, WANTED: Musical instruments, Wanted: Motorcycle helmets 1940-1980, John (775)315-4930
26
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
27
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Mother’s Day Blessing & Prayer
but they’re really just grooming their pals. Guess you could say they’re really zealous about keeping each other clean. An army of caterpillars - Caterpillars aren’t exactly attack animals—these larval butterflies and moths are tasty snacks for birds, wasps, and other creatures. They’d never form an army but caterpillars do use poison, camouflage, and other tactics to avoid being eaten. A parade of elephants - African elephants, which usually live in groups of up to 10, can walk up to 50 miles in a day in search of food, but usually walk about 8 miles a day. Either way, that’s one impressive parade! ESTATE CHERRY DINING ROOM SET, CLASSIC style, 4 side, 2 arm chairs, oval table, 2 leaves, China cabinet base and top server with mirror and curio cabinet, immaculate condition $1,800 (775)265-4506 PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081 ELLA K LADEN, CPA, PC - PROFESSIONAL, personalized Tax and Accounting services. Offices in Gardnerville and Stateline, NV. Contact Ella K Laden CPA or Steve McVicar CPA at (775)588-2555
28
Before our God, and before one another, we want to honor you and the work you do. For we live in a society that overlooks and belittles your God given status. But we say that you are blessed. For you have been called, set aside, commissioned to bear fruit – fruit that will last. We declare that your work is holy work. It is sacred. It is Christ-like. For we recognize that you lay down your lives for others, that you give without thought of cost or repayment. You serve above and beyond what is seen or asked for. You bless and you love in ways that words cannot capture. Your thinking is so often of others, your time spent on others, your prayers spent on others. You are a blessing to others. You have indeed laid down your whole lives. This is a high calling. To nurture and shepherd God’s own children. For this we honor you. And in this calling we bless you. We bless you to be wise. To see what is hidden, to hear what is not said, and to do what has been undone. To know when to speak and when to listen. We bless your discernment. May it be sharpened. May your prayers be arrows in a bulls eye. May you hear the whisper of God on behalf of His children. We bless your words. May you speak goodness and kindness into your children. May you strengthen, encourage and comfort with great skill. May your children thrive in your praise and correction. We bless your time. May God bless your sleeping and your waking. May you have the time you need. May you have time to laugh and time to reflect. May you have time to share deeply with dear friends, to walk closely with your God. We bless you to be free. Free from the expectations of others and the eye of the world. May you be free to be yourself and free to enjoy all that God gives you. May you be free to allow your children the freedom to discover their call in God. We bless the work of your hands. May you find God in the mundane and know Him in the business. May your homes be blessed with peace and love. May they be places of light and joy. We bless you to be a reflection of God. To reflect to others the meaning of love, of truth and hope, of faith and trust, and grace, of generosity and humility. To embody these before us. May your children see you walk the narrow way, may your investment in them be not just for this age, but also for those to come. We bless you: Name by name. Come Holy Spirit. See these anointed ones. We ask that you would increase your anointing on them. We ask that God would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His spirit in your inner woman. That Christ will dwell in your hearts through faith, that you, being rooted and grounded in love may be able to comprehend together with all the saints, what is the width and length and depth and height...Continued
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
29
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Busy Office
I work in a busy office where a computer going down causes quite an inconvenience. Recently one of our computers not only crashed, it made a noise that sounded like a heart monitor. “This computer has flat-lined,” a co-worker called out with mock horror. “Does anyone here know how to do mouse-to-mouse?” CARIBOU 1994 TRUCK CAMPER LONG BED, all appliances work well, inside clean and good condition, outside fair, sleeps 4-5, $1,500 OBO, Yerington (775)3156540 Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, (775)782-4520 LET US UNLOAD ON YOU! TOP SOIL, ROCK, DG, worm castings etc. Tight time line? We’re really fast! 30+ years experience, serving Carson and surrounding communities, Nevada Organics (775)882-9500 Being a parent means loving your children more than you have ever loved yourself.
– to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge. That you may be filled with all the fullness of God. We set you aside. You are a blessing to your families, and a blessing to this church. Thank you. Well done. And may Christ be with you. May God bless you this Mother’s Day and every day. (Shared by a Pastor Ed at a Mother’s Day Service) “MAX” 6 WHEEL DRIVE AMPHIBIOUS vehicle with roll cage and cover $3,200 (775)463-2596 or (775)4634419 VOICE AND PIANO LESSONS, BEGINNER to Advanced students, experienced teacher, performer, music degree. Call The Songlady! Carolyn Lancaster (775)7201918 or (775)267-2582 MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501 SPRING SPECIALS! CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! Repair, Re-Stitch, Replace; Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Spa Sun Covers and Patio Shade; Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/Minden (775)267-4434 or (775)230-8706
30
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
Caregivers Needed
Join our team of Caregivers and make a difference in the lives of seniors. Provide companionship and bring assisted living into their home. Full-time, part-time, days, nights, 12 hour, and 24 hour shifts available. Retired and mature adults encourage to apply. EOE Apply online eden-homecare.com (775)392-2000 APPLIANCE REPAIR! SAVE $25 ON YOUR NEXT in home appliance repair, with this ad! Serving Carson City, Dayton, Minden for over 30 years. New and Used Sales, Sams TV and Appliance, 1501 Fairview (775)885-1939 ELECTRICAL PROBLEMS? MAKE THEM GO away! No job too small! New construction, remodels, service and repair, Pigman Electric, NV#73243, CA#610417 (775)721-9491 1978 YAMAHA DT175, WAS RUNNING, GOOD SHAPE, 3 OLD M/C helmets $500 OBO; 2 stag horn carving sets, 4 tine knives $250 (775)342-9718
Drawing God
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, “They will in a minute.” GRASS-FED BEEF, ALL LOCALLY GROWN, $4.25 per pound hanging weight, works out to about $6 per pound cut and wrapped (775)721-1574 HIGH DESERT BARNS, CUSTOM STEEL BUILDINGS, Horse Shelters, Quality Barns built with 25 years of experience, highdesertbarns.com or (775)246-3004
Darn Mom
“I don’t think my mom knows much about children.” “Why do you say that?” “Because she always puts me to bed when I am wide awake and gets me up when I am sleepy.” LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers, Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Small Paint Jobs, Free Estimates, 10 Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585 HOT SPOT SX HOT TUB FOR SALE - LIKE NEW, selling for $2,500 OBO, you are responsible for pickup, serious inquiries only (775)267-2152
31
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The Loving Wife
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.” “Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don’t burden him with chores. Don’t discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely.” On the way home, the husband asked his wife. “What did the doctor say?” “He said you’re going to die,” she replied SUTRO LANDSCAPING, ONE CALL DOES IT all; lawn care, aerating and thatching, sprinkler systems, sod installation and planting, clean-ups and much more, Free Estimates, Operated by owner, NV#50048 (775)246-4871 or (775)291-3095 HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 195060’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)2916827
Good News, Bad News
A large two engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down. “No problem,” the engineer thought, and carried on at half power. Farther on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill. The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped and made the following announcement: “Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that you decided to take the train and not fly.” A BAD TILE JOB CAN BE LIKE A BAD HAIRCUT, but it doesn’t grow back, so don’t get hacked! Done right the first time, Sundance Tile and Marble, NV#58795 (775)691-9954 HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30 years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick –up and delivery; parts in one day! californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521 PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, faux and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, powerspainting.org or (775)781-5531 or (775)315-5179
32
G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672
Happy May Birthdays!
A birthday is one of the most important days of the yearmay yours be filled with the light of living and the brightness of laughter. And remember - Candles are like little friends on your birthday cake. The more, the merrier. Happy Birthday! FOR SALE ANTIQUE VICTROLA RECORD PLAYER $400 OBO (775)315-0303 GROOMER IN TRAINING, CAN DO CERTAIN types of dogs, call to see if yours is one, in Gardnerville, Denise (775)720-1184 BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND recolored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (775)233- 5297 BEAUTIFUL KING SIZE OAK BEDROOM SET, WOMAN’S DRESSER, Men’s Dresser, 2 night stands, excellent condition $1,500 OBO (775)267-7587
May 28th- Memorial Day
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
How Much of the World Lives in Poverty?
80% of the world live in poverty. Almost half the world over three billion people - live on less than $2.50 a day. At least 80% of humanity lives on less that $10 a day. More than 80% of the world’s population lives in countries where income differentials are widening. The poorest 40% of the world’s population accounts for 5% of global income. The richest 20% accounts for threequarters of world income. (globalissues.org) 1920’S COUCH AND CHAIR, 2 OTTOMANS, FROM the historic Minden Inn; Wool rugs, pictures, vintage and antique chest, drop leaf coffee table, fainting couch, free gun cabinet, mid-century recliner and ottoman, china, glass, odds and ends, lamps, picture frames, jewelry, all offers considered (775)392-3149 RENNER’S TRUE VALUE HARDWARE - FOR ALL YOUR hardware, household, automotive and gardening needs and much more now available online at truevalue. com, ship orders to store for free, call Robert or Megan for details (775)465-2217, press 1 for parts, 2289 Hwy. 208, Smith, NV ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174
WNC Motorcycle Rider Course
The motorcycle riding season is almost here. Registration has begun for the Basic Rider Course - $160, the NEW Basic Rider Course II - $85 and the Advanced Rider Course - $85. The BRC II is for rider who have been riding or need to update their skills. This New course is the intermediate course of the three offered at WNC. The BRC II will include an online classroom portion and MUST be completed prior to the in-person class. Check class descriptions, dates, and registration on line at www.campusece.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4268. WILL FEED YOUR HORSES AND DOGS WHILE you are away, Serving Carson Valley, Dolores (775)224-2860
PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law;To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free. KOBALT 7¼” SLIDING COMPOUND MITER SAW $20; Power Plate My3 $350, after 3pm 775-461-0583
33
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Dangerous Food
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.” “But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?” A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, “Wedding cake.” C.F.I. CERTIFIED CARPET, HARDWOOD, VINYL, no charge for furniture. Three-year labor warranty! Residential and Commercial, Competitive pricing, JS Flooring (775)267-4123 RENTAL! QUIET, SECLUDED, COUNTRY style home on 5 acres for one or two folks, partially furnished or not, Utilities included: electric, DIRECTV, internet, water/ septic and trash, tenant pays propane, close to town and freeway, grounds maintenance, caretaker is on site, East Valley, off Johnson Lane, Minden, $2,400 per month, background and credit check, Call Ed (775)781-0841
34
Skip a Day
A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.” When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?” The woman nodded. “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” “No, from skipping.” PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441 BROWNING FLOAT TUBE, HODGEMAN neoprene waders, Browning fins, like new $140 530-544-0590 BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi-story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two-story houses, based in Minden area, call John (775)267-1800 1992 16’8” MARLIN BOAT, INBOARD/outboard, very good condition $5,000 OBO, Ron (775)266-9105 PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373
CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWERLY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred. Please leave clear message on this home phone. I return all calls. Call Joanne at (775)465-9422 “A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter@sbcglobal.net or (775)530-8932 or (775)884-3906
35
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
36
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
37
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Because of the Brave
by Ron Tranmer America, the beautiful, home of the brave and free. A land that God, our Father, has given you and me. He knows that in our world, freedom always has it’s price, and can easily be lost, without fight and sacrifice. So with a love of country our bravest give their all, Many even life itself… We’re grateful to them all. Our Army, Navy, National Guard, Air Force and Marines. Present and past…all have made our bell of freedom ring. We thank them for their sacrifice and pray to God above, that they may know the greatness of our gratitude and love Because of them, our nations flag will ever proudly wave. And we are still home of the free because of them… The brave.
REDLINE CONSTRUCTION, INC., SPECIALIZING in garages, additions, remodels, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, (775)781-3955 COMPUTER PROBLEMS? ON SITE REPAIR and training, PC/network configuration, virus/spyware removal, serving Dayton and Carson, justin.nelson@ goowy.com Justin (775)450-3735 TWO PIANOS, ANTIQUE STEINWAY (GRAND) arrived San Francisco 1863, must see, priced to sell; small black upright Wurlitzer, excellent condition, call to arrange viewing (775)265-1480
We have a “HERO”…
on our block! Our neighbor, nine year old ”TYLER” donated 14 of his Matchbox cars to a seven year old who was a victim of domestic neglect. We are so proud of you! Kim and Roger
MAINTENANCE FREE DECKS AND PATIO COVERS, knowledgeable, honest, professional service! Serving Northern Nevada for 18+ years! Free Quotes! K & C Construction, NV#0079034 (775)691-6462
HANDYMAN SERVICE – HOME REPAIRS, FENCING Repair/Replacement, Hauling, Trash Removal, Shrub and Tree Trimming and Removal, and Weed Removal, Free Estimates (775)781-1747
NEW PARTS FOR 1988 FORD SUPER DUTY 7.5L/460 V-8 still in box; A1 Cardone Smog Pump [remanufactured] $40; Power Torque Clutch Kit complete fits 5 speed never used $175; Timing light $10; Welding helmet Mig or stick welding $15 (530)694-1879
FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)7828776 1989 CHRYSLER MASERATI TSI, 2.2 LITRE, runs well, good condition, new tires new battery, needs work MSRP $7,500 asking $3,100, Lee (775)720-6076
The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers. 16’ GE UPRIGHT FREEZER FOR SALE, WORKS good, Call Chuck (775)267-2665
38
LICENSED AND BONDED ELECTRICIAN, ADDITIONS, remodels, extra outlets, switches, light fixtures, ceiling fans, trouble shooting and power panel upgrades, etc., 18 years experience, Free Estimates, Senior Discount, Degenspark Electric NV#52647 (775)267-4229 CUSTOM MASONRY, ONE BRICK AT A TIME, Commercial/Residential, 3+ Better Business Bureau rating, serving Carson Valley 12+ years, Free Estimates, M Sqrd Masonry, NV#200616647 and CA#924187, Marc Duryee (775)450-6219 or (775)783-4753 OVERNIGHT SPIRIT TOUR JUNE 9TH, 6:30PM at the Dake House in Genoa, 2242 Main Street, $60 per person, includes barbecue, RSVP (775)782-4951
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
39
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
40