Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
License Renewal
St. Gall is collecting all Christmas items!
Anything Christmas! Ornaments, Christmas decor, trees (must be working trees, in boxes or bags please.) Working lights in boxes. Holiday Clothes & linens. If it’s Christmas, we’ll take it! Thank you for your donations!
DASILVA’S HAULING/HANDYMAN SERVICES, Cleanup, tree trimming/removal, tractor work, rock and dirt removal, weed pulling, fence repairs, NV#0319423 (775)230-3436
MOUNTAIN POOL & SPA - WE CLEAN pools and spas, monthly and bi-monthly service (530)318-1698
The Meaning of Silence
After a wife and husband had a huge argument, they ended up not talking to each other for days. Finally, on the third day, the husband asked where one of his shirts was.
“Oh,” his wife said, “So now you’re speaking to me.”
He looked confused. “What are you talking about?”
“Haven’t you noticed I haven’t spoken to you for three days?” she challenged.
“No,” he said, “I just thought we were getting along.”
OUTSUNNY 6’X6’ POLYCARBONATE GREEN HOUSE, new, in box $175, call/text (831)710-7615
A woman named Emily renewing her driver’s license at the DMV office was asked by the clerk to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. “What I mean is,” explained the clerk, “do you have a job, or are you just a “?”. “Of course I have a job,” snapped Emily. “I’m a Mom.”
“We don’t list ‘Mom’ as an occupation.. ‘housewife’ covers it,” said the clerk emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our local police station. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, “Official Interrogator” or “Town Registrar.” “What is your occupation?” she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know... The words simply popped out. “I’m a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.” The clerk paused, pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire!
“Might I ask,” said the clerk with new interest, “just what you do in your field?” Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, “I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn’t), in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out).
I’m working for my Masters, (the whole bloody family), and already have four credits, (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.”
There was an increasing note of respect in the girl’s voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
When I got home, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants - ages 10, 7, and 3. Upstairs, I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby), in the child-development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had triumphed over bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than “just another Mom.”
Motherhood.....What a glorious career! Especially when there’s a title on the door.
Does this make grandmothers “Senior Research Associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations” and great grandmothers “Executive Senior Research Associates”? I think so! I also think it makes Aunts “Associate Research Assistants”.
2021 BIG TEX 70DM DIAMOND BACK CAR HAULER, Chrome Wheels, Steel Floor/Diamond-Plate Rear Slide-Out Ramps, Less than 800 miles traveled, like new, Contact Greg at (707)688-1600
COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827,davenportlandscape.com or (775)2651491 or (775)721-8439
GREAT PAY FOR EXPERIENCED RELIABLE Caregivers. Must have own transportation & CPR certified, Serving Gardnerville, Minden, Carson City (775)2911731
A Woman’s Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength I’ll just beat him to death.
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Douglas County Republican Women (DCRW) invites both men and women to attend an informative presentation “Make Douglas County Healthy Again”. Event will be held on May 23, 2026 from 1:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. at Valley Christian Fellowship, 1681 Lucerne St., Minden. Program will feature local health professionals: Dr. Robert Houchin - Sleep Apnea Specialist, Dr. Frank Shallenberger - Alternative & Anti-Aging Medicine, and Dr. Jeffrey Cummings - Board-Certified Orthopedic Surgeon. Program will also include a healthy charcuterie & parfait bar, great Silent Auction items as well as, door prizes and drawings. Cost is $15.00 per person and RSVP is required: DCRWrsvp@gmail.com For questions or to RSVP, contact Judy Marsh at (775) 790-7725.
Our June meeting will also be in Minden at Valley Christian Fellowship on June 3, 2026. We hope you will be able to join us to enjoy a delicious lunch featuring spaghetti and meatballs, salad, garlic bread, and desert. Our speakers for this meeting will include candidates for Douglas County School Board Districts, District 4 County Commissioner, and Douglas County Sheriff. Please RSVP no later than May 26th to Elinor Lacy at 415-985-5432 or email DCRWrsvp@gmail.com for more information.
We encourage you to connect with us to learn more about how you can support the Republican party and get out the vote in 2026, which is another very important election year.
GREAT PAY FOR EXPERIENCED RELIABLE Caregivers. Must have own transportation & CPR certified, Serving Gardnerville, Minden, Carson City (775)2911731
DID YOU KNOW? At around 22 months, elephants have the longest gestation period of any mammal on earth.
Feeling Great
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says... “Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’ re about my age. How do you feel?”
Slim says, “I feel just like a new-born baby.” “Really!? Like a new-born baby?”
“Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
EDP REAL ESTATE SERVICES - California and Nevada Real Estate Broker, California and Nevada Residential Mortgage Lender. My team has 32 years lending experience. Before you list, let’s talk about how I can benefit you. CA DRE 01233339, NV DRE B.1003323, NMLS 2060323, contact@edprealestateservices.com or (916)496-5947 or (775)315-0425
I saved her, she saved me
I’ve spent most of my life feeling empty, lost, misunderstood and exhausted in ways I never knew how to explain. I’ve always felt like I was just surviving instead of actually living, like I was carrying this constant weight on my chest. When my mom passed away in a few years ago, whatever stability I had left completely fell apart.
Months later, I was walking out of school and it was raining really hard. A friend offered to drive me home, but I politely declined because I didn’t want to feel like a burden, so I lied and said I “liked walking in the rain”. While I was walking on my way home, I heard tiny meows. I followed the sound and saw a tiny kitten, completely soaked, shaking and meowing in the middle of the rain. I remember how fragile she was and it hurt to look at her. I stood there for a moment not knowing what to do, then tried to look for her mother, but she was nowhere to be found. I ended up taking the kitten with me, telling myself it was just for the night and that I’d bring her back later to find her mom.
The next day, I went back to the same spot and searched for over an hour. I couldn’t find anything. I didn’t want to leave her outside, so I took her to the nearest shelter, hoping they could keep her. They checked her and said she was fine, but when I asked if they could take her in, they refused. ..I couldn’t leave her. She was barely two months old, and there was no way she would’ve survived on her
own. So I took her home with me and named her “Francis”. :)
I’m bipolar, and when my episodes hit, things get really bad, and I feel like I’m losing control of myself.
Taking care of Francis gives me something solid to hold onto. Feeding her, playing with her, and just knowing she depends on me keeps me grounded when my mind isn’t. It’s been about a year and a half now, and she’s the reason I get up most days. I saved her that day in the rain, but in a lot of ways, she saved me too. (writer unknown)
PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081
WANTED! COMIC BOOKS AND/OR SPORTS CARDS, I can come to you (562)706-4224
HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30+ years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick–up and delivery, californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521
HUBLEY RACE TRACK, 2 LANES WITH A timer, legal for model A sanctioned events, asking $500; Proform stationary bike, best offer; call Russ (408)270-4028
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
WE’RE THE SOLUTION TO YOUR CLUTTER problems. Put A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove, ask us about our loading assistance available (775)297-2320
That forgetful feeling
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.
I would recommend it very highly.”
The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?”
The first man thought and thought and finally said, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that’s red and has thorns.”
“Do you mean a rose?”
“Yes, that’s the one,” replied the man.
He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
APPROXIMATELY 20’ LONG ATV OR SNOWMOBILE trailer, asking $1,400 (775)315-7410
“YOUR HOMETOWN JUNK HAULER SINCE 1996!” Junk and Trash, etc, Carson Valley/Carson City, $399 a load plus dump fee, J.R.’s Hauling (775)265-6813
WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, bensonfeed.com, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)882-3999
Where can you pick up a copy of “The Scoop”?
Stop by AJ’s Stoves - 1267 US Hwy 395 N Ste. A Gardnerville Mon.-Fri. 9am-5pm or Silver State IT - 1507 U.S. Hwy 395 N A Gardnerville Mon.-Fri. 10am-5pm and Carson City Senior Center - 911 Beverly Dr., Carson City.
If you your carrier missed delivering the Scoop to you please contact your postmaster. It doesn’t happen often but it does happen. Your postmaster will make sure your carrier delivers the Scoop to you. Thank you!
MANUELS LANDSCAPING SERVICES - FIRE Pits, Pavers, Fences, Rocks, Sprinklers, Artificial Turf, Retaining Walls, Water Features, Spring and Fall Clean Ups, Lawn Care Service - Aerating, Thatching, Mowing, all for a great price, you’ll be happy, NV#20222462146, Castaneda Landscaping LLC (775)291-7499
“The
Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
My Teenage Mom
SOLID HARDWOOD QUEEN SIZED BE FRAME with headboard and footboard, dark finish, asking $125 (208) 490-1577
TRITON ATV 88 ALUMINUM TRAILER, ALUMINIUM loading ramps, spare tire, carrying capacity $1,520lbs, $600 (760)608-6097
RELIABLE INTERNET FROM $65/MONTH. Upgrade to 5G (100-600Mbps) for lightning-fast speeds. Local tech support, no contracts (775)297-4770
My parents were married at a very young age, 16 years old or so. I was their first born with 3 to follow, a sister who sadly passed on my first birthday, another sister born 2 years after myself and then my brother born 2 years after my sister. Raising 3 kids by the age of 21 or so, OMG!
Mom was a stay at home mom - working 24 hours a day. To this day, I am in awe of what it must have been like raising 3 children as a “child” so to speak. I am certain, as many mothers would agree, there was fear, stress, grief and hopelessness at times but through it all she did it. Better yet, she made it!
As far back as I can remember, which is many decades ago, I had always wanted to be a mom because of my mom. I always thought how wonderful it would be to be loved by someone as much as I loved mom then and to this day.
It was very special having a mom that wasn’t but 17 years older than me, her first born. She was a beautiful mom as well and when I say beautiful I mean, like that of Elizabeth Taylor. She was in a class of her own loved by many and envied by many for her beauty inside and out.
During my teenage years mom fit right in with me and my friends. It was a wonderful time. Some days we would just hang out at the house, catching some sun by the pool. Other days we would head to the beach for the day. My friends really thought mom was so “cool.” My teenage years were a wonderful time for mom as well as she never really got to experience teen years herself until her first born became a teenager.
I don’t think it was until I became a mom myself that I truly understood just what mom had sacrificed as a teenage mom. They did have other options and I am ever so grateful they chose life for their children.
Through the years and all of life’s ups and downs mom has been my rock and I hers. We have been the best of friends through oh so much. She is loving, kind, has a wonderful sense of humor and a very caring heart. She is my very best forever friend.
Ma, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love and beauty. You’ve shown me what it means to love unconditionally. You’ve shown me how to appreciate life’s little moments and how to hold family close to my heart. I cherish you ma and love you more than words could ever truly convey. Love you always, Lisa
HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 1950-60’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)291-6827
NEED HELP? NANNY/ELDER CARE, UBER DRIVER, pet/house sitter, errands, CPR and First Aid Trained, Great References, Call Annette at (530)8446071
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
DID YOU KNOW? The plastic or metal tip of your shoelace is called an aglet.
D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)6710808
DID YOU KNOW? The oldest living land animal on earth is a 192-year-old tortoise named Jonathan.
Believers Chapel
Come Worship with us at Believers Chapel - Every Lord’s Day 9:30. 1600 Buckeye Minden. Master’s Seminary grad. (775)690-6207
270 WIN W/BUSHNELL 3X-9X,32. WOOD STOCK. $700. AIM 1.5-4x30 $50. All in Yerington. Ray (775)461-6687
DID YOU KNOW? It takes roughly 540 peanuts to make a jar of peanut butter.
AFFORDABLE NEVADA CCW CLASSES $90, tacaimfirearmsinstruction.com or (775)360-5214
The top ten reasons men prefer guns over women #10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22. #9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you are on the road.
#8. If you admire a friend’s gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times. #7. Your primary gun does not mind if you keep another gun for a backup. #6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo. #5. A gun does not take up a lot of closet space. #4. Guns function normally every day of the month. #3. A gun does not ask, “Do these new grips make me look fat?” #2. A gun does not mind if you go to sleep after you use it. And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman... #1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN
SLOOWW COMPUTER? VIRUSES? MALWARE?
Need an upgrade? Will do a complete computer maintenance: Remove Junk, Viruses, Malware. Test Hard Drive, Memory, Do updates and Print-Out. 25 Yrs+ Pro & Corp Experience $50 flat fee. Satisfaction guaranteed. I come to you! Tom (775)7202814
DO YOU NEED TO REPLACE YOUR WORN out concrete driveway, patio, or walkway? We also install new patios, driveways, monolithic garage slabs, retaining walls, footings, and stemwalls. K&C Construction, NV LIC # 79034, 79237, 81038, 86464. To get a free quote call at (775)691-6462
Work virus
There is a dangerous virus going around. It is called WORK.
If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else, via e-mail or any other means, DO NOT TOUCH IT! This virus wipes out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK, put on your jacket, take two good friends and go straight to the nearest bar.
Order the antidote known as BEER. Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
Send this warning immediately to at least 5 friends. Should you realize that you do not have 5 friends, this means that you are already infected and that WORK already controls your life. REMEMBER, THIS VIRUS IS DEADLY!
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The Chair
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 10 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”
CHUCK NORRIS TOTAL GYM $70 (775)990-3031
BUYING CASINO CHIPS, OLD POSTCARDS, ADVERTISING signs, coins, old Nevada match book collections, old scrapbooks, old Nevada telephone books, old bottles, confederate money, letters, etc. - Terry (775)782-3904
AERATING & DETHATCHING $300 MOST yards, large yards welcomed, sprinkler repair tree & Juniper removal, excavating, Earth, Turf & Timber Landscape Maintenance (775)450-1955
TRACTOR WORK: CLEANING YARDS, roof shingle repairs, exterior house painting, sagebrush removal, RV pad, etc., Call Florencio (775)771-7640
Romans Road Bible Ministry
Sunday Study 10am, Wednesday Study 6pm, Thursday Women’s Study 11am. 406 North Main, Yerington, behind Thrift Store (775)309-9043
WANTED, OLD CARS, COLLECTOR CARS, MUSCLE cars, non running or no title okay, private collector, give me a call (775)315-8265
SEWING MACHINES, PFAFF, JANOME MEMORY, Singer serger, 2 antiques machines, inverted hanging table, new massage table, discounted Mary Kay make up and body products, massage chair, new Wilson ladies clubs, hand blown Verano Italian crystal beverage set, hand-made light blue Mexican food and serving set (775)781-4696
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
NASA Training
When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation.
One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who only spoke Navajo, asked a question, which the son translated, “What are the guys in the big suits doing?”
A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got really excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spindoctors, the NASA folks found a tape recorder.
After the old man recorded his message, they asked the son to translate. He refused. So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed, but refused to translate the elder’s message to the moon.
Finally, NASA called in an official government translator. He reported that the moon message said: “Watch out for these guys; they’ve come to steal your land.
MIGUEL’S GARDEN
SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501
The Hotel Bill
An older lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel.
When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.
She demanded to know why the charge was so high.
“I agree it’s a nice hotel, but the rooms aren’t worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn’t even have breakfast.”
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the ‘standard rate’, and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.
She insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: “This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use.”
“But I didn’t use them,” she said.
‘’Well, they are here, and you could have,” explained the Manager.
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous.
“We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here,” the Manager said.
“But I didn’t go to any of those shows,” she said.
“Well, we have them, and you could have,” the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, “But I didn’t use it!” and the Manager countered with his standard response.
After several minute’s discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him.
The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. “But madam, this check is for $50.00.”
“That’s correct, I charged you $200.00 for staying in my room with me,” she replied.
“But I didn’t!” exclaimed the very surprised Manager.
“Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.”
Don’t mess with Senior Citizens!
HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? INTERIOR remodels, kitchens, bathrooms and more, Free estimates, 25+ years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453
1979 YAMAHA IT175, MUST SELL. NEEDS FULL restoration but ran great, 9,280 ODO, No dents or bents, No title, owned since 1993 $150 negotiable (775)7205819
LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Tractor Work, Fence Repair, Concrete Work, Sprinklers/Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Free Estimates, 15 Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585
PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR COMMUNITY - DONATE to Greater Carson Chapter Child Evangelism Fellowship, cefofnevada.com or P.O. Box 1132, Minden, NV 89423
C-THRU WINDOW CLEANING, AND GENERAL maintenance, Call Casey (775)350-8021
On your Birthday!
Wishing you 365 days of adventure, laughter, the love of family and friends and moments worth remembering. Happy birthday! The Scoop
CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWELRY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred. Please leave phone number and clear message on my phone. I return all calls. Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352
HIGH ROLLERS PAINTING, LLC, QUALITY
WORK AT affordable prices, 10% off any full exterior, No job too small, Other discounts available, Booking Now - License #89898. BBB, Call (775)450-8587
Let’s Pretend
Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat.
He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, “Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock it.”
So she drove the boat to shore.
Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, “Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I’m having a heart attack and set the table, cook dinner and wash the dishes.”
DOG COMPANION WANTED! MALE SCHNAUZER or terrier mix, rescue Schnauzer or shelter dog (775)265-5040
MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, EADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627
DID YOU KNOW? No number before 1,000 contains the letter A.
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Just One More Game A Pickleball Quest
By Clare Frank - Local Author
Just One More Game is writer Clare Frank’s account of abandoning herself to a sport loved by millions (and hated by plenty of others). Both pickleball and Clare Frank were born in Washington State in 1965, but she didn’t encounter the sport until after she’d retired as a career firefighter and got roped into joining a game at the local community center. Despite being mystified by the court dimensions, the equipment, and the lingo (whose kitchen was being violated?), the game triggered her competitive drive. Then she was in deep: joining “underground” games, shaking off injuries, and eventually committing to a year-long quixotic quest to try to understand pickleball’s hold on America . . . and herself.
Frank takes readers far and wide, from PickleCon to the US Open to a pickleball town in Baja to pickleball in prison, as she explores the sport’s roots, its viral rise, and a penchant for leveling up her own game. This fun read will be welcomed by pickleballers old and new. Visit www. clarefrank.net
2006 HONDA VX300, LESS THAN 10,000 MILES with accessories, was in storage, asking $6,000 OBO (775)265-2578
20’ TELESCOPING FLAGPOLE UNCOMMON USA Sells new $300+, sell for $100 (775)309-8067
USA DRYWALL LLC, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#88940 (775)247-2539
How to interview
for
a job after being fired
A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application.
The executive begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held.
“I must say,” says the executive, “your work history is terrible.” “You’ve been fired from every job.” “Yes,” says the man.
“Well,” continues the executive, there’s not much positive in that.
“Hey!” says the guy as he pokes the application, “at least I’m not a quitter.”
DR. FIX IT HOME REPAIR PRO, ANY OUTSIDE/ INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)691-5119
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
One happy customer
Dear Tide, I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used Tide all through my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties, I find it even better!
In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.
One thing led to another, and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn’t come out.
After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband
What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.
Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.
CANNON PLUMBING REPAIR - NEW FIXTURES installed, Hot water heaters, insured, licensed, bonded, local resident servicing - Minden - Airport Road, Johnson Lane, Stephanie area, Call Paul (916)717-2646
$200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461
SAVAGE 99 .303 SAV. $1100. REMINGTON Mod 14 32 Rem., $749. Winchester Model 70 .300 WM $1899. Lots of concealed carry options. Handguns, rifles, shotguns. Buy, Sell, Trade. Full gunsmith. Sunrise Pass Arms (775)267-2284
YARD ENHANCEMENT SERVICES, handyman, fence repair/rebuild, tree and brush trim/removal, defensible space improvement, hauling, dump runs, Serving Gardnerville, Kelly (209)352-0084
Kid explains the Bible
Nine year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned at Sunday school.
“Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.
When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. “Then he used his walkie talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.”
“Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?” his mother asked. “Well, no, Mom. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it!”
2019 BLACK 1.6 FRIGIDAIRE OVER THE RANGE microwave $200 (775)315-4391
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Voluntary Public Access and Habitat Incentive Program
(Washington, D.C., April 24, 2026) – The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) is announcing $52 million to help state and tribal governments encourage private landowners to allow public access to their land for hunting, fishing and other wildlife-dependent recreation through the Voluntary Public Access and Habitat Incentive Program (VPA-HIP). USDA’s Natural Resources Conservation Service (NRCS) is accepting applications through June 8, 2026 on Grants.gov for this program that benefits landowners and the public. For more information, visit nrcs.usda. gov.
1979 21’ COASTAL REC PLEASURE SAILBOAT, with trailer and Honda 4 stroke BFP 9.9 power thrust portable outboard motor, needs TLC $2,700; Teto 1988 5th wheel trailer, free as is, definitely needs TLC; Antique wood burning cook stove $1,500; Women’s business high-end wardrobe suits and separates, Sizes 8-10-12; Women’s full length Beaver fur coat $700 (775)781-4696
DID YOU KNOW? It’s impossible to hum while holding your nose.
WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192
FOR SALE - SMALL COFFEE TABLE, GLASS TOP 50”X30” $35; Large coffee table 60”x36” $60; Bakers rack 42”x63” $20; Glass TV stand 41”x23” $40; Husqvarna 3200 pressure washer, still in box, never used $200; several crystal and glass table lamps $30 and up; artwork for decoration $50 and up; 12’ step ladder $150; call Jim (775)720-4634
SPECIALIZING IN GARAGES, ADDITIONS, REMODELS, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, Redline Construction Inc. (775)781-3955
Congratulations Grads!
Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you’re right: So, as you embrace this new journey, remember that mindset really is everything.
Make the most out of the knowledge you learned from school. Remember the lessons learned, cherish the memories made, and aspire to make a difference in the world.
WANTED: LICENSE PLATES, OLD MOTORCYCLE Helmets, Old Pre-1970’s Levi’s, Musical instruments, Old Watches and Old Lighters, John (775)315-4930
BEAUTIFUL SOLID OAK UPRIGHT PIANO WITH 2 perfect stained glass panels. Has player piano mechanism with 4 paper rolls, $700 OBO - You pick up, Please leave message (775)240-9496
PAINTING BY ART - STAINING AND PAINTING done at affordable rates, personal service with 20 years experience, call for free estimate, Gardnerville (775)392-3997
Alienated Grandparents Anonymous
AGA focuses on the struggle so many grandparents have in being part of their grandchildren’s lives. AGA provides support and information, and helps validate the feelings of those suffering some degree of estrangement, alienation, or isolation. AGA serves toward bringing alienated grandparents, parents, and grandchildren together.
For more information email the Nevada AGA Coordinator at AGA.SilverStateNV@gmail.com or visit www. alienatedgrandparentsanonymous.com
RUSSELL’S TREE SERVICE, #1 ARTISTRY IN TREE Care; Shaping, Balancing, Removals, Stump Grinding, Fruit Trees, Hedges, Ornamental Pruning, Serving your area, NV License #20141277851 (775)4514535
JMA CONSTRUCTION COMPANY SPECIALIZING in concrete replacement and roofing replacement. Serving Carson City and surrounding areas since 1993. License #’s C-5 0079313 C-15 0079310, jmaconstructioncompany@gmail.com or (775)882-6347
STUCCO AND DRYWALL, PAINT SERVICES, Interior, Exterior wall repairs, cracks, peels, dents, tape texturing, wall paper, popcorn ceiling, removal and refinish, “paint”, 25 years experience, Free Estimates, Licensed and Bonded, Call Fred (775)507-6315
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
LONG ARM QUILTER - EDGE TO EDGE QUILTING, Quick Turnaround, Tammy (925)354-1755
Toilet-Squatting Exercise Class
Old friends...
Mary and Jane are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time; Mary is upset because she thinks her husband doesn’t find her attractive anymore.
“As I get older he doesn’t bother to look at me!” Mary cries.
“I’m so sorry for you. As I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day” replies Jane.
“Yes, but your husband’s an antique dealer!”
Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, (775)782-4520
HANDYMAN - SMALL CONCRETE WORK, REPAIRS and some overlays, Call Chuck (775)552-5151
HANDYMAN SERVICES RENOVENTURES, LLC, Serving Carson Valley and beyond - No job too small, Emergency and Weekend work, Licensed & Insured (410)365-8268
My mother was a fanatic about public toilets.
As a little girl, she’d bring me in the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper and wipe the seat. Then, she’d carefully lay strips of toilet paper to cover the seat. Finally, she’d instruct, “Never, never sit on a public toilet seat.”
And she’d demonstrate “The Stance,” which consisted of balancing over the toilet in a sitting position without actually letting any of your flesh make contact with the toilet seat. But by this time, I’d have wet down my leg. And we’d go home.
That was a long time ago. Even now in my more mature years, The Stance is excruciatingly difficult to maintain when one’s bladder is especially full. When I have to “go” in a public toilet, I find a line of women that makes me think there’s a half-price sale on Brad Pitt’s underwear in there. So, I wait and smile politely at all the other ladies, also crossing their legs and smiling politely. And I finally get closer. I check for feet under the stall doors. Everyone is occupied.
Finally, a stall door opens and I dash, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. I get in to find the door won’t latch. It doesn’t matter. I hang my purse on the door hook, yank down my pants and assume “The Stance.” Relief. More relief.
Then my thighs begin to shake. I’d love to sit down but I certainly hadn’t taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so I hold The Stance as my thighs experience a quake that would register an eight on the Richter scale.
To take my mind off it, I reach for the toilet paper. The toilet paper dispenser is empty. My thighs shake more. I remember the tiny tissue that I blew my nose on that’s in my purse. It would have to do. I crumble it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than my thumbnail.
Someone pushes open my cubicle door because the latch doesn’t work and my purse whacks me in the head. “Occupied!” I scream as I reach out for the door, dropping my tissue in a puddle and falling backward, directly onto the toilet seat. I get up quickly, but it’s too late. My bare bottom has made contact with all the germs and life forms on the bare seat because I never laid down toilet paper, not that there was any, even if I had enough time to. And my mother would be utterly ashamed of me if she knew, because her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, “You don’t know what kind of diseases you could get.”
And by this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, sending up a stream of water akin to a fountain and then it suddenly sucks everything down with such force that I grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged to China. At that point, I give up. I’m soaked by the splashing water. I’m exhausted.
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
I try to wipe with a lolly wrapper I found in my pocket, then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.
I can’t figure out how to operate the sinks with the automatic sensors, so I wipe my hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past a line of women, still waiting, crosslegged and unable to smile politely at this point. One kind soul at the very end of the line points out that I’m trailing a piece of toilet paper on my shoe as long as the Murray River! I yank the paper from my shoe, plunk it in the woman’s hand and say warmly, “Here. You might need this.”
At this time, I see my spouse, who has entered, used and
exited his toilet and read a copy of War and Peace while waiting for me.
“What took you so long?” he asks, annoyed. This is when I kick him sharply in the shin and go home. This is dedicated to all women everywhere who have ever had to deal with a public toilet. And it finally explains to all you men what takes us so long.
MISCELLANEOUS AMMO RELOADING SUPPLIES FOR sale. Primers, powder, bullets, RCBS dies, misc. brass plus more (580)480-5364
ZENI’S CLEANING SERVICES! COMMERCIAL and Residential, licensed, affordable and friendly, family owned, 20 years experience, free estimates, Serving Douglas County and surrounding communities, zeniscleaning2022@gmail.com or (775)901-6689
KENNY AND COLLEEN’S STUMP GRINDING services, K&C stump grinding services, Call (917)3623181 or (410)739-4052
YERINGTON, NEVADA FURNISHED ROOMS available, Utilities & WiFi included, Free on site Laundry, Fully stocked Kitchens, Bathrooms with soaking large tubs, Living rooms, Gym, Pool table and darts, Lounge (385)254-1127
SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two story houses, based in Minden area, call John (831)801-0003
MINI GOLDENDOODLE PUPPIES, SWEET, INTELLIGENT, and family-raised puppies with loving temperaments and playful personalities. Wonderful with children and great companions for families or individuals. Raised with love and socialized daily. Vet checked, vaccinated, and dewormed. Call or Text (480)620-3712
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
To my Dad
This Father’s Day I want to share with you lessons you have taught me throughout the years, even to this day.
“Be honest - even when it’s hard.” “Keep your promises.” “Say sorry when you mess up.” “Work hard, then rest proud.” “Show up for people - even when it’s inconvenient.” “Fix it if you can. Try, even if you can’t.” “To acquire knowledge, one must study - but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.” “Laugh loud. Laugh often.” “Money often costs too much.” “Stand up for what’s right - even if you’re alone.” “If you think you’ll lose - you’ve lost.” “Take pride in doing things well - even the small stuff.” “Don’t be afraid to cry. Just don’t stop there.” “Protect your family like it’s your job - because it is.” “Forgive quickly. Life’s too short.” “Don’t wait until funerals to tell people they’re special.” I love you dad always, Lisa
TWO 15 FOOT METAL GATE PANELS $100 EACH, AND two 10 foot metal gate panels for $50 each. (775)233-3580
“A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25+ years experience, Senior Discounts! KenJeter, kenjeter65@gmail.com or (775)530-8932
DID YOU KNOW? Around 80 percent of orange cats are male.
PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free.
CASH NOW FOR 1930-1960’S MUSCLE CARS AND CONVERTIBLES. Camaros, Chevelles, Broncos, Chargers, unfinished projects, now buying in any condition (775)431-4986
Eyes closed
Little Susie was standing in front of her mirror with her eyes closed. “Why are you standing there with your eyes closed?” asked her sister. “So I can see what I look like when I’m asleep,” she replied.
PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373
COMPUTER EXPERT FOR 50 YEARS! WiFi SETUP & Improvement • Printer Setup • Camera Systems • Home Surround Sound • Gate Access Systems • Ethernet IDF & MDF • Better TV Services. Call or text Bill (775)339-1281
GARAGE DOOR SERVICE, 53 YEARS EXPERIENCE. Springs, rollers Replacement, doors off track, weatherseal, New doors and openers available wholesale, resale. Jim Dyer Overhead Door. (775)883-7740, cell (775) 430-3363
Save your Kitchen!
Cabinet Refinishing Services with Cabinet Guard products
DON’T RE-FACE OR REPLACE YOUR CABINETS UNTIL YOU EVALUATE OUR REFURBISHING SERVICES!
We utilize Products and processes (pat pending) exclusively owned by “Cabinet Guard”. With 46 years of development by founder and master craftsman Dana Ayler: “I will wind back the clock on your cabinets. We tint over your original cabinet finish. We are completely dustless! Starting with a thorough cleaning, then rejuvenate & reluster the wood’s grain for maximum contribution and color (tint) blocking yellow from the original finish, w/100% UV protection. Final topcoats are very durable, strong enough for hardwood flooring. Easier to clean and maintain*EPANon-Toxic* No need to empty cabinets and you do not lose daily functioning of your kitchen.* Color Sampling Selection Program. Local client Testimonials and references. *Inquire. Yes as electives we upgrade hinges / hardware,
clean and reseal Granite and/or Tile.
Workdays 9:00am to 4:00pm returning you kitchen back to you until 9:00am the next workday. I Dana, perform all work on job site, no employees. NV Lic. #18331 CA Lic. #31997 (insured) See our informative website: www. cabinetguard.net. Questions: email info@cabinetguard.net. Text or call Dana (775)781-7462
1999 ROYAL STAR VENTURE XVZ13TF, approximately 120,000 miles, Good condition, two owners, asking $1,000, Contact Greg at (707)688-1600
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Come join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church
Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 3pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590
PART TIME EMPLOYMENT, NON-PROFIT AGENCY; flexible hours working with seniors. Positions available in Topaz, Coleville, Walker and Bridgeport, California. Call for more information (530)495-2700
WALLYS DRYWALL - HANG TAPE TEXTURE/ small jobs preferred, strip wallpaper and acoustic, small paint jobs, 32 years experience, NV Lic. #20253278775 (925)766-3770
HANDRAILS: STAND ALONE CUSTOM BUILT
Sturdy metal handrails for safety and assistance-most exterior doors and walkways also garage concrete steps corrections and improvements. Carson Valley and Carson City (775)790-6445
ANA’S HOUSECLEANING SERVICES; APARTMENTS, homes, studios, office, Lic.#202443295503 (775)508-3267
Sunburn
A guy goes to the hospital, and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribes continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who is rather astounded, says, “What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?” The doctor replied, “It’ll keep the sheets off his legs.”
PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES,
SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441
What not to tell a friend
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket, I’d really, really miss you and would think of you often.
PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD
Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827
Singles Ad
SINGLE FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404)875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I’ll be waiting...
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever. (They say men ARE so easy)
TECH TROUBLES? I SPEAK HUMAN, NOT just computer. Computers, printers, WiFi, and smart devices. If it has a power button, I can help you fix it. Honest and affordable. Justin (775)460-3735
The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers.
DID YOU KNOW? Your heart beats an average of 100,000 times each day.
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
A Tribute to Parents
“I don’t know when it started, Or how it all began, But God created families, As only our Lord can. He was teaching what it means To love, honor, and obey. He wanted a strong bond That we don’t see too much today. He wanted someone to hold us And show respect for others. He wanted someone who’d be gentle, So he created mothers. He wanted someone strong, A support filled with love, So he created fathers, Sent from heaven up above.” (author unknown)
COSTUME JEWELRY: ALL TYPES INCLUDING vintage rhinestones, lockets, charm bracelets, rings, necklaces, tourist Indian jewelry, wind up watches, men’s jewelry, old pocket knives, old lighters, military jewelry, vintage jewelry type items, fountain pens, old service pins, badges. Interesting bits and pieces. larger quantities preferred. I return all calls. I drive to you. Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352
COMMERCIAL PROPERTY FOR SALE IN THE BEAUTIFUL Carson Valley. 2 parcels left next to Walmart, Gardnerville, NV. 4.97 ac and 2.02 ac. Call Linda for more information. (775)721-7009
DID YOU KNOW? Ants don’t have lungs.
Shrinking Clothes
Max went into the doctor’s office for his annual checkup, and the Doc asked if there was anything unusual he should know about.
So Max told the Doc that his suit must have shrunk over the last year, because it didn’t fit when he went to get ready for a wedding recently.
The Doc said, “Suits don’t shrink just sitting in a closet. You probably put on a few pounds.”
“That’s just it, Doc, I know I haven’t gained a single pound since the last time I wore it.”
“Well, then,” said Doc, “You must have a case of Furniture Disease.”
“What in the world is Furniture Disease?” asked Max.
“That’s when your chest starts sliding down into your drawers.”
1981 EL CAMINO CONQUISTA, 3.8 V6 AUTOMATIC, front disc brakes, clean CA title, runs and drives, needs paint and interior $2,450 OBO; 1993 Ford F250, 4x4, 6 speed, 7.2 turbo diesel, long bed, extended cab, clean Nevada title asking $4,997; C5 Targa Top $250 OBO; factory 2012-2017 Jeep 4 door JK factory Rock slider steps, excellent condition $99 OBO (775)990-3031
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
