June22ScoopOnlineEdition

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE - Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 17+ Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570

NEW HENRY RIFLE .45-70, BRAND NEW, STILL in box (831)345-6725 GENOA COMMUNITY GARAGE SALE JUNE 4TH 8am12pm. Tools, household items, CPAP and SoClean, and miscellaneous, 2461 Genoa Springs Court

NDM-86 DRAGONOV COMPLETE, PLUS EXTRAS and a full case of 7N1 ammunition, Asking $11,000 or make offer, contact Pete at (775)315-4285

CARSON VALLEY ATV - JOIN US FOR ADVENTURES of a lifetime! Visit us at www.facebook.com/groups/carsonvalleyatv

ROOM FOR RENT! FIRST/LAST MONTH, $700 PER month, non smoking senior female, must LOVE CATS, quiet and safe area in Gardnerville, references needed, Call (775)790-5356

PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081

LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers/Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Free Estimates, 10+ Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585 KING SIZE SLEIGH BED, COMPLETE WITH HEAD and Foot Boards, side rails and slats and hardware, Dark Cherry finish, great shape $150 (209)606-9639 D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)671-0808

PIANO, GUITAR, COMPOSITION LESSONS. ALL LEVELS and ages. Experienced teachers with music degrees.

Jim and Janet, Sunridge/Carson City (415)678-0504

Having a tough day!

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying.

She moaned to her mom and brother, “Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!”

Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: “That’s not true, Mary. Some people don’t even know you.”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The most feared woman in Hollywood, Gossip Queen Hedda Hopper

The Hug!

It’s wondrous what a hug can do. A hug can cheer you when you’re blue. A hug can say, “I love you so,” Or, “Gee, I hate to see you go.” A hug is, “Welcome back again.”And, “Great to see you! Where’ve you been?” A hug can soothe a small child’s pain, and bring a rainbow after rain. The hug! There’s just no doubt about it- we scarcely could survive without it!

A hug delights and warms and charms. It must be why God gave us arms. A hug can break the language barrier, and make your travels so much merrier. No need to fret about your store of ‘em, the more you give, the more there’s more of ‘em. So stretch those arms without delay and give someone a hug today!

(Author Unknown) HYDRAULIC CYLINDER REPAIR AND REBUILD, All makes models and year, Commercial Equipment, Tractors, Fork Lifts, Log splitters, Farm equipment, Dump Trucks and Trailers, Boats and RVs, Welding and Machining, Ramco Fabrication, shawn@ramcofab.com or (775)2677358 AFTER MARKET FENDERS FOR FORD 1942-1947 FORD pickups, asking $600 (775)463-4016 EARLY 1920’S DODGE GRAHAM TRUCK, hydraulic ram on dump bed, all original, tires all hold air, make offer (775)465-1812

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At the height of her power in the 1940s and 1950s, gossip columnist Hedda Hopper had so much clout she could ruin a career with a few vicious sentences. That she hid under hats so flamboyant they bordered on parody only enhanced her mystique.

Born Elda Furry in 1890 in Pennsylvania, one of nine children in a Quaker family, she ran away from home at age 18 when her parents rejected her ambition to pursue a life in theater. Elda made her Broadway debut in 1909. In 1913 she starred opposite matinee idol DeWolf Hopper, whom she shortly thereafter married. (She was his fifth wife, and the marriage wouldn’t survive a decade. The two had one son, William DeWolf Hopper Jr., who would later appear on The Perry Mason Show.)

Elda Hopper changed her name to Hedda in 1919, and appeared in more than 100 films over the next three decades, often playing society women. A contract actor in an era when stars paid for their own costumes, she spent her $5,000 salary on her wardrobe for one of her earliest screen roles, effectively upstaging the star.

The move was calculated to attract attention, and it worked.

“Producers who didn’t know my name began to say, ‘Get what’s her name who played the rich woman in Virtuous Wives. She’ll dress this,’ ” Hopper wrote in her memoir From Under My Hat. By the mid-1930s, her motion-picture career had slumped, but her anachronistic sense of style had landed her gigs with a cosmetics firm and as a fashion commentator for radio. Casting about for a new income source, she began writing a gossip column in 1937.

When Hedda Hopper’s Hollywood debuted in the Los Angeles Times, on February 4, 1938, her popularity skyrocketed. Her column appeared in 30 metro dailies, 3,000 small-town papers, and 2,000 weeklies, according to Biography.com. When it was picked up by the New York Daily News, her readership grew to the millions, eclipsing that of any other gossip columnist, including Louella Parsons, whose friendship had devolved into a bitter rivalry.

Hedda Hopper outfitted herself in wildly creative hats to hobnob with Hollywood’s rich and famous. She reportedly bought 150 hats a year.

“Flamboyance was her gimmick,” Daniel Orlandi told the New York Times in 2015. Orlandi was the costume designer of Trumbo, a biopic about Hollywood’s blacklisting era, in which Helen Mirren played Hedda Hopper. “She wasn’t stylish, she was eccentric. Her wardrobe may have made her more likable and less threatening. It was, ‘I’m your eccentric auntie.’ ” Her distinctive style was a façade to hide behind, a distraction that allowed her to get close to her subjects. It turned her into a brand and also “aided her success in marketing multiple commodities: her column, her reading public, and, most important for the industry she loved, Hollywood,” as Jennifer Frost wrote in Hedda Hopper’s Hollywood: Celebrity Gossip and American Conservatism.

Hedda Hopper was hard-working, competitive, and scathing.

She was not afraid to use her poison pen to go after Hollywood’s most beloved stars.

She wrote a blind item about Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy’s long time affair, infuriating Hepburn. She lambasted Charlie Chaplin’s queasy-making relationships with young

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women so vigorously that it reportedly contributed to his being denied re-entry to the U.S. She bought a house in Hollywood Hills and called it “The House That Fear Built.”

Hopper was equally militant about “American values.” An ardent supporter of the House Un-American Activities Committee, she spoke out against the threat of communism in Hollywood. She didn’t hesitate to name names, landing people on the notorious Black List, destroying reputations and careers.

Hedda Hopper remained active as a writer - and as a wearer of outrageous oversized hats - until her death, producing six daily columns and a syndicated Sunday column as well as writing articles for celebrity magazines such as Photoplay. She died of pneumonia in 1966. (by E.L. Hamilton) THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848 HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)6915119 FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)782-8776

June 5th - Pentecost

Custodian Job Opening

Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for Custodian; Jacks Valley Elementary & Pinon Hills Elementary (30 hours per week) & George Whittell High (40 hours per week) Starting Salary: $17.25/hr. or up to 5 years of experience; Full benefits; medical, dental, vision & life insurance. Paid sick leave, vacation & holidays. NV PERS retirement.

For more information, please contact Bill Blumenthal, Facilities Supervisor at wblument@dcsd.k12.nv. us or visit our website at dcsd.k12.nv.us/employment to complete an application.

HVAC/REFRIGERATION APPRENTICE WANTED. Mechanically minded with a fair amount of own tools. Routinely on time. Benefits: Take home company truck, Health Insurance & Cell Phone stipends, Uniform Shirts, Paid Holidays & Vacation. Start @ $17/hour, $18 after 90 days w/EPA card and Great Attitude! Call Patrick (775)343-2948 PART TIME EMPLOYMENT, NON-PROFIT AGENCY; flexible hours working with seniors. Positions available in Topaz, Coleville, Walker and Bridgeport, California. Call for more information (530)495-2700 GARAGE SALE! FRIDAY AND SATURDAY JUNE 10TH AND 11TH, 9am-2pm; tools, camping equipment, Disney VHS tapes, saddles and horse tack, 1267 E. Roland, Carson City

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

A letter from grandma

Juicy squirt

A man moves into a n*dist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.

Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a n*dist colony, he cuts a photo in half but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He’s really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother’s eyesight is, and hopes she won’t notice.

A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother.

It says: “Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style.... it makes your nose look short. Love, Grandma Fratzke

PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827

MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?”

The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.”

The owner says, “You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”

The clerk says, “Oh yeah? Look at him, he’s afraid to cough!”

HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK repair, replace, resurface and remove, trash removal, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235 The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers.

“Jealousy and envy are deadly to the mind.”

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How much is a Sermon worth?

One beautiful Sunday morning, a minister announced to his congregation: “My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons... a $100 sermon that lasts five minutes, a $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes, and a $10 sermon that lasts a full hour.

Now, we’ll take the collection and see which one I’ll deliver.”

EGYPTIAN CHESS SET, REPRODUCED DIRECTLY from antiquities in the collection of the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston $25 (775)945-1010 or (775)316-2173

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A little history about Flag Day

It’s tough being a holiday in June. Just ask Flag Day. Between Memorial Day and July 4th, people are out and about, vacationing, ending classes, and celebrating the beginning of summer. Nobody has time to pay the ol’ Red, White, and Blue any mind.

June 14th marks more than just the middle of June. On June 14, 1777, the Second Continental Congress approved the design of a national flag. They “resolved, that the Flag of the thirteen United States shall be thirteen stripes, alternate red and white; that the Union be thirteen stars, white on a blue field, representing a new constellation.” This is the flag that was reportedly sewn by Betsy Ross in Philadelphia. The well known naval lieutenant John Paul Jones was the first to display the new American flag overseas in France in 1778.

However Flag Day didn’t become a holiday overnight. It took well over one hundred years before Flag Day was formally recognized.

In 1916, President Woodrow Wilson issued a proclamation establishing Flag Day on June 14. (This same year Wilson also declared, by executive order, that the Star Spangled Banner be played at military and other official ceremonies.) But it wasn’t until 1949 that Congressional legislation designating a national Flag Day was passed and was recognized by President Harry Truman.

Bernard J. Cigrand, a Wisconsin grade school teacher, is often credited with the first Flag Day celebration in 1885. William T. Kerr, of Pittsburgh, formed an American Flag Day As-

sociation of Western Pennsylvania in 1888, and was a leader in establishing the National American Flag Day Association in 1898. Kerr served as president of the association for more than fifty years and he participated in the August 3, 1949 ceremony with President Truman.

So as you’re enjoying your summer vacation, or waiting impatiently for it to start, take a moment on the 14th to remember the flag. It has changed as over the years, but its symbolism and importance remain the same.

“A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter65@ gmail.com or (775)530-8932 PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065

Douglas County Republican Women...

will be meeting on June 1st, 2022 at Valley Christian Fellowship Church at 11:15am. Lunch is $15.00 each.

This month’s speakers are going to be U.S. Congressman Mark Amodei and challenger DC Commissioner Danny Tarkanian. We will also be hosting U.S. Senatorial candidates William Conrad and William Hockstedler. We hope you can join us, please RSVP to Linda at lrcal1@aol.com or (775)782-5338.

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

10 things you may not know about the penny

1. The word “penny” and its variations across Europe— including the German “pfennig” and the Swedish “penning”— originally denoted any sort of coin or money, not just a small denomination.

2. Offa, an Anglo-Saxon king, introduced the first English coin known as the penny around 790 A.D.; it was made entirely of silver. Today’s British pennies (called “pence” when referring to a quantity of money) are worth one hundredth of a pound and minted in copper-plated steel.

3. The official term for the American penny is “one-cent piece.” However, when the U.S. Mint struck its first one-cent coins—then the size of today’s half-dollars and 100-percent copper—in 1793, Americans continued to use the British term out of habit.

4. Benjamin Franklin reportedly designed the first American penny in 1787. Known as the Fugio cent, it bears the image of a sun and sundial above the message “Mind Your Business.” A chain with 13 links, each representing one of the original colonies, encircles the motto “We Are One” on the reverse.

5. Along with the first U.S. penny’s design, the phrase “a penny saved is a penny earned” has been attributed to Benjamin Franklin. Visitors to the founding father’s grave in Philadelphia traditionally leave one-cent pieces there for good luck.

6. The copper content of U.S. pennies has declined over the years due to rising prices. The expensive metal makes up just

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2.5 percent of one-cent pieces minted in 1982 or later; nickels, dimes and quarters, on the other hand, are mainly composed of copper. Still, today’s pennies cost more than their face value— an estimated 1.8 cents each—to produce.

7. In 1909, Teddy Roosevelt introduced the Lincoln cent to commemorate the 100-year anniversary of the 16th U.S. president’s birth. At the time, it was the first American coin to feature the likeness of an actual person (as opposed to the personifications of “liberty” appearing on earlier designs). Fifty years later the Lincoln Memorial was added to the penny’s reverse, complete with a tiny representation of the statue within.

8. The image of Abraham Lincoln on today’s American pennies was designed by Victor David Brenner, an acclaimed medalist who emigrated to the United States from Lithuania in 1890.

Born Viktoras Barnauskas, Brenner had fled his native land after being persecuted for his Jewish ancestry.

9. As copper supplies became vital to weapons manufacturing during World War II, the U.S. Mint decided to cast the 1943 penny in zinc-coated steel. Nicknamed “steelies,” these coins caused confusion because they closely resembled dimes; they also rusted and deteriorated quickly.

10. In the 1980s, U.S. military bases overseas abolished the penny and began rounding all transactions up or down to the nearest five cents. This is the system Canada plans to implement later this year. (history.com) “An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true.”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Meaning and origin of expressions

Yard N’ Art Sale and Dollars for Scholars Raffle

P.E.O. Philanthropic Educational Organization, Saturday, June 25th, 2022, 8am - 2pm.

P.E.O. Chapters support the educational and charitable funds of the P.E.O. Sisterhood, celebrating educating and motivating women through scholarships, awards, grants and more.

Directions: From 395, Carson City - Topsy Lane EAST, becomes Racetrack; Continue to Saddlehorn. Turn right at Saddlehorn and go to the end of the cul-de-sac to the double gates. Follow the signs and balloons to the sale! You have arrived. Many nice items and raffle. Questions (775)392-0669 HOT TUB SERVICE, WEEKLY AND BI WEEKLY service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, hot tub cover sales, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)267-2490 G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672 SUTRO LANDSCAPING, ONE CALL DOES IT all; lawn care, aerating and thatching, sprinkler systems, sod installation and planting, clean-ups and much more, Free Estimates, Operated by owner, NV#50048 (775)246-4871 or (775)291-3095

June 14th - Flag Day 10

Bite the bullet - Meaning: To accept something difficult or unpleasant.

Origin: In the olden days, when doctors were short on anesthesia or time during a battle, they would ask the patient to bite down on a bullet to distract from the pain. The first recorded use of the phrase was in 1891 in The Light that Failed.

Break the ice - Meaning: To break off a conflict or commence a friendship.

Origin: Back when road transportation was not developed, ships would be the only transportation and means of trade. At times, the ships would get stuck during the winter because of ice formation. The receiving country would send small ships to “break the ice” to clear a way for the trade ships. This gesture showed affiliation and understanding between two territories.

Butter someone up - Meaning: To impress someone with flattery.

Origin: This was a customary religious act in ancient India.

The devout would throw butter balls at the statues of their gods to seek favor and forgiveness.

Mad as a hatter - Meaning: To be completely crazy.

Origin: No, you didn’t already know this one, because it didn’t originate from Lewis Caroll’s Alice in Wonderland. Its origins date from the 17th and 18th centuries — well before Lewis Caroll’s book was published. In 17th century France, poisoning occurred among hat makers who used mercury for the hat felt. The “Mad Hatter Disease” was marked by shyness, irritability, and tremors that would make the person appear “mad.”

Cat got your tongue? - Meaning: Asked to a person who is at loss of words.

Origin: The English Navy used to use a whip called “Cat-o’nine-tails” for flogging. The pain was so severe that it caused the victim to stay quiet for a long time. Another possible source could be from ancient Egypt, where liars’ and blasphemers’ tongues were cut out and fed to the cats. (What a treat for the cats!)

Barking up the wrong tree - Meaning: To have misguided thoughts about an event or situation, a false lead.

Origin: This refers to hunting dogs that may have chased their prey up a tree. The dogs bark, assuming that the prey is still in the tree, when the prey is no longer there.

Turn a blind eye - Meaning: To ignore situations, facts, or reality.

Origin: The British Naval hero, Admiral Horatio Nelson, had one blind eye. Once when the British forces signaled for him to stop attacking a fleet of Danish ships, he held up a telescope to his blind eye and said, “I do not see the signal.” He attacked, nevertheless, and was victorious.

Bury the hatchet - Meaning: To stop a conflict and make peace.

Origins: This one dates back to the early times North America when the Puritans were in conflict with the Native Americans.

When negotiating peace, the Native Americans would bury all their hatchets, knives, clubs, and tomahawks. Weapons literally were buried and made inaccessible.

Caught red-handed - Meaning: To be caught in the act of doing something wrong.

Origin: This originates from an old English law that ordered any person to be punished for butchering an animal that wasn’t

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his own. The only way the person could be convicted is if he was caught with the animal’s blood still on his hands.

Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater - Meaning: Don’t get rid of valuable things along with the unnecessary ones.

Origin: You won’t believe this one! In the early 1500s, people only bathed once a year. Not only that, but they also bathed in the same water without changing it! The adult males would bath first, then the females, leaving the children and babies to go last.

By the time the babies got in, the water was clouded with filth.

The poor mothers had to take extra care that their babies were not thrown out with the bathwater.

Give a cold shoulder - Meaning: Being unwelcoming or antisocial toward someone.

Origin: In medieval England, it was customary to give a guest a cold piece of meat from the shoulder of mutton, pork, or beef chop when the host felt it was time for the guest to leave. This was a polite way to communicate, “You may leave, now.”

Go the whole nine yards - Meaning: To try your best at something.

Origin: During World War II, the fighter pilots were equipped with nine yards of ammunition. When they ran out, it meant that they had tried their best at fighting off the target with the entirety of their ammunition.

Rub the wrong way - Meaning: To bother or annoy someone.

Origin: Early Americans, during the colonial times, would ask their servants to rub their oak floorboards “the right way”.

The wrong way (not wiping them with dry fabric after wet fabric) would cause streaks to form and ruin it, leaving the

homeowner annoyed. Alternatively, it could have derived from rubbing a cat’s fur the “wrong way,” which annoys them. (grammarly.com) MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN CARSON VALLEY! Be our guest for coffee and fellowship on Fridays 7am COD Casino.

CARSONVALLEYSERTOMA.ORG HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 1950-60’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)291-6827

An Ideal Marriage

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn’t have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

CHÉ WHITE BOOKKEEPING & PAYROLL Services, Specializing in Small Business, Corporation, Not-for-Profit, and Personal Finance. Located in Carson Valley, 25+ years experience. CheWhiteBooks@gmail.com or (844)343-0343 MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 40+ years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

AMMUNITION FOR SALE. MOST PISTOL CALIBERS. New. Call for prices. AFR (775)720-6076

Kitchen Refinishing Services

BY ‘Cabinet Guard’ Products (pat. pending) Don’t Re-Face with new doors & water borne paint or replace your cabinets until you evaluate our refurbishing/refinishing services! (We are 70% less costly).

We utilize exclusive Products & Processes by ‘Cabinet Guard’ (pat. pending) w/ 40 + years of development by founder & master craftsman Dana Ayler: “I will wind back the clock on your Cabinets”.

We blend over your original cabinet finish, so there is no stripping or sanding down mess! We are completely dustless!

Starting with a thorough cleaning, then rejuvenate & feed the wood’s grain for its contribution, then lightly custom color (tint) to enhance and block yellowing from the original finish, w/ 100% UV protection.

Final topcoat/s, durable for decades, strong enough for hardwood flooring, absolutely superior; high moisture resistance, 100 % UV-Protection, non-yellowing, extreme ware protection! * Easier to clean & maintain * Spray-less & EPA – Non -Toxic * No need to empty out Cabinets * You do not lose daily function of your kitchen * New Knob H.W. of your choice * 3 year – one time – free touch-up! * Good for environment, no tree cutting * Door Sampling *Written client testimonials, References.

Workdays: 9:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. (Cleaned). Returning your kitchen back to your until 9:00 a.m. the next morning! I Dana, perform all work on job site.

Questions: www.danadesignnv@hotmail.com Or call: Dana, Cabinets Etc. @ (775)781-7462 or Kathy @ (775)782-7821.

NV. Lic. #18331, Ca. Lic. #310071.

GET FAST INTERNET! UP TO 40 MBPS, WIRELESS! (not satellite, not DSL). Great in rural areas, www.ruralinternet.us or call Patrick (775)297-4777 AIR COMPRESSOR, CLASS F, VOLTAGE 110 OR 220 Model #Y5B-60 #072783142, Best offer takes it (775)2652578

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ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)2654766 GIRL’S FOLDING SCHWINN BICYCLE 20”, (no bar) still in box, paid $200, asking $175 OBO, Sharon/Wellington (775)781-0243 AERATING & DETHATCHING $300 MOST Yards, Sprinkler Repair, Tree & Juniper Removal, Excavating, Earth, Turf & Timber Landscape Maintenance (775)450-1955

Fine Art Classes

East Fork Gallery, 1512 Hwy. 395, Suite 4, Gardnerville. For more details email eastforkartists@gmail.com or call (775)7827629 SAVE THE DATES - July 7 “Carson Valley Barns”: July 24 - Anniversary Reception 11am: September 15 - Readymade Scarecrows: October 1 - Scarecrow Festival, Heritage Park 9am-3pm: November 5 - Open House SALE* 12pm-3pm: December 4 - Christmas Reception 11am-3pm.... *SALE: 20% off one $50 item. Wine walks May-October on third Thursday of each month.

PSA AR10, 762/308, 18”BBL, 2 MAGS, $1,100. RADICAL Firearms AR15, 556/223, 16”BBL, 1 Mag, $650. Sig Sauer P365, 9mm, $600. All new. AFR (775)720-6076 SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two story houses, based in Minden area, call John (831)801-0003 ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)721-2880 WHIRLPOOL CLOTHES WASHER AND DRYER SET, 7 Months NEW Washer: Model WTW4855HW2 Top Load, Agitator, 3.8 cu. Ft. Dryer: Model WED4850HW0 Front Load, Horizontal Door Electric, New water hoses and 220V wire connector, all documents included, Call (775)230-6773

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SPECIALIZING IN GARAGES, ADDITIONS, REMODELS, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, Redline Construction Inc. (775)781-3955

Two life-long friends

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other: “If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?”

“Yeah, sure thing,” replied his friend, “fire away.”

“Well,” said the first guy, “why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?”

“It’s probably because of her speech impediment,” replied the second guy.

“What do you mean her speech impediment?” inquired the first fellow.

“My wife doesn’t have a speech impediment!”

“Well,” replied his friend, “you must be the only guy who hasn’t noticed that she can’t say ‘NO’!”

HANDYMAN PROS - RAPID RESPONSE, ALL Phases of Construction, New, Repair, Roofs, Bath, Kitchen, Painting, Custom, Carpentry, Landscaping, Electrical, Concrete, Plumbing, Tile, Granite & more, Professionally Designed Blue Prints (775)400-6822 “Being an adult is just walking around wondering what you’re forgetting.”

PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373

Davy Crockett

My brother read a book about Davy Crockett. He said: “Did you know Davy Crockett had three ear’s?” I said, “No, I didn’t.”

He said, “Well he did you know. He had a right ear, a left ear and a wild frontear.”

June 19th - Father’s Day

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The deadly truth about drinking and driving

Many people believe that it’s OK to drink and drive because they are responsible people. But the truth is, getting behind the wheel after drinking alcohol can have devastating consequences for those around you, as well as yourself. Drinking and driving can have severe impacts on not just your safety but also others—from minor injuries to severe injuries to fines to jail time to death. Too many people believe in the fallacy of immunity that it can’t happen to them. Even if you’ve never had an accident because of drunken driving, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t responsible for other people’s lives when you drink and drive.

The statistics about drunken driving deaths highlight the seriousness of this dangerous behavior. Drunken driving accounts for 28% of all traffic-related deaths in the U.S. In a recent year, over 230 children were killed in drunk-driving crashes.

Each day, approximately 28 people are killed in the United States in drunk-driving accidents. That’s one person every 52 minutes, according to the https://www.nhtsa.gov/risky-driving/ drunk-driving - National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

There were 10,142 alcohol-impaired driving deaths in 2019, which made up 28% of overall driving fatalities. During the period from 2010 to 2019, there were over 10,000 drunken driving-related fatalities each year. Drunk driving is still one of the leading killers in the U.S. “Get a ride; don’t drink and drive.”

Someone’s life depends on it!

Marriage counselor

Husband to counselor: We were very happy for 22 years.

Counselor: What happened? Husband: We got married. Counselor, turning to wife: Do you agree with your husband’s assessment of your marriage? Wife: Yes, the only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.

INTERIOR AND CIAL/Residential, pressure washing, Lic.#20181749300, (775)291-2453

EXTERIOR PAINTING, COMMERdecking and railing maintenance, Free Estimates. JR’S Painting, NV call or text (775)291-1319 or call

DO YOU NEED TO REPLACE YOUR WORN out concrete driveway, patio, or walkway? We also install new patios, driveways, monolithic garage slabs, retaining walls, footings, and stemwalls. K&C Construction, NV LIC # 79034, 79237, 81038, 86464. To get a free quote call at (775)691-6462 OLD PARK BENCHES, WANTED, ANY shape or style, Carson City (408)270-4028 ROTOTILLER TROY BILT, ‘HORSE’ KOHLER 8 horse power motor, heavy duty till, very good condition, tines all good $1,100 OBO (775)267-9042 WHEEL LINE FOR SALE, QUARTER MILE, 5 INCH with extra 40 foot sections $5,000 OBO, Bob/Wellington (775)781-0244 WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192 BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND re-colored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (775)233- 5297

ACT 2 Offers U...

Good buys on gently used furniture, some antiques, nice men and women’s clothing, and various household items. Come visit us at 607 S. Main St. Yerington. Hours are flexible. Pat riley 408-804-4010 and/or Toni Harrison 775-781-6487

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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides.

These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@ charter.net, (775)782-4520 CUJO’S HOG HOUSE! V-TWIN Motorcycle repair, Maintenance and accessories, also sales and service of Frankenstein Trike conversions, Factory Trained PHD and ASE Certified, 1430 Industrial Way, Unit C (in the back) (775)782-6051

Senate Slander

A member of the United States Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in mid-session and began to shout, “Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!”

All the other Senators demanded that the angry member withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session.

After a long pause, the angry member acquiesced. “OK,” he said, “I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

BEAUTIFUL FIGURINE COLLECTION OF “JUST the Right Show” by Raine and 3 wall display glass cases 2’x2’, all in pristine condition $500 OBO (775)843-6192 STANDARD FLAG GRAVEL, R&J TRUCKING delivers, 25 years experience, call Roger (775)233-7337 WANTED! OLD BOAT TRAILER WITH TITLE, GARDNERVILLE (831)345-6725

Join us for FISH’s 2nd annual Flea Market!

Set up a table at our Gardnerville office to rehome your treasures or come and browse! Local agencies welcome to set up info tables. $20 donation requested from vendors to hold a spot.

Tables/chairs provided. Lunch is provided; raffles will be won!

4th Saturday in June, July and August; 7am to noon. Information (775)265-3474 PAINTING BY ART - STAINING AND PAINTING done at affordable rates, personal service with 20 years experience, call for free estimate, Gardnerville (775)392-3997 COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, davenportlandscape.com or (775)265-1491 or (775)721-8439

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CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: All types including Silver, Copper, Rhinestones, Old Plastics, Glass, Pot Metal, Pins, Bracelets, Rings, Necklaces, Old Watches, Lockets, larger quantities preferred, please leave phone number and clear message on my NEW phone number, I call everyone back, Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352 HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30+ years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick–up and delivery, parts in one day! californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521

Expensive perfume

An old woman is riding an elevator in a very lavish New York City office building. A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator smelling of expensive perfume and turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, “Giorgio - Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!”

One floor later the next young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator and also very arrogantly turns and says to the old woman, “Chanel No. 5 $150 and ounce!”

About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. But before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eyes, bends over, and lets out a most foul-smelling fart. She leaves the stunned women in a cloud of funk saying “Broccoli - a dollar per pound.”

“A good time to keep your mouth cloaed is when you’re in deep water.”

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

17

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

TOM GOLDSTON ROOFING

Happy Father’s Day Dad!

Dad, here are just a few of the little things in life you taught me; how to put a worm on a hook, dig a hole with a shovel, mow the lawn, shoot a gun, play ping pong, check the oil in my car, drive a car, the little things.

Now..... here are the big things in life you taught me; how to stand up for myself, how to be confident, always write it down, get up early, work hard, never quit, look people in the eye when talking to them, never apologize for who you are, don’t depend on someone else for your own self-worth, be passionate and outspoken – don’t let anyone stifle your expression, have goals, always learn, admit your mistakes, it is what it is, forgive yourself and others, stay true to yourself, speak from your heart, wear your heart on your sleeve, you can’t move ahead by looking in the rear view mirror, stay focused on the road in front of you, the train keeps going down the track, life goes on. And - one of the most important things you taught me is , “Girls can, too” With time passing by I have come to realize the importance of every sacrifice you made for me and our family, every moment you spent with me and our family, every little thing you did for me and our family, both past and present.

On this Fathers Day dad I want to thank you so very much for all you have taught me, for all you have done and for all that you are. I love you Dad. “To the world you are a dad but to our family you are the world.” Lisa ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $599, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $129, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994

PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free.

Come join us at

Johnson Lane Baptist Church

Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 4pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590 SEMI-RETIRED FINISH CARPENTER- DOOR install/ repairs, security screens, deadbolts, shelving, molding and general carpentry repairs. Call Mark (775) 782-6198 or (775)790-5927 RUSSELL’S TREE SERVICE, #1 ARTISTRY IN TREE Care; Shaping, Balancing, Removals, Stump Grinding, Fruit Trees, Hedges, Ornamental Pruning, Serving your area, Licensed/Insured (775)685-0528

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“YOUR HOMETOWN JUNK HAULER SINCE 1996!”

Junk and Trash, etc, Carson Valley/Carson City, $299 a load plus dump fee, J.R.’s Hauling (775)265-6813 WANTED: LICENSE PLATES, OLD MOTORCYCLE Helmets, Old Pre-1970’s Levi’s, Musical instruments, Old Watches and Old Lighters, John (775)315-4930 HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 25+ years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453 FREE TO A GOOD HOME: YAMAHA ELECTONE Organ, manual and music books, please leave a phone or text message for Dave at (775)450-3873 ROOF! WE DO ROOFS FOR A LIVING, NOT FOR a hobby! High quality, economical price, call Ed (775)2972320

Douglas County Democrats

The Douglas County Democrats Central Committee June meeting will be held on Thursday, June 23rd, at 6:30PM. For in person attendance, we will be following Covid 19 guidelines.

Please bring proof of vaccination. Please check our website at www.douglasdems.org for further information and to register to join the meeting on Zoom.

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

19

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, snow removal, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629 TAKE CARE OF YOUR LOVED ONES. WILLS and Trusts. Day R. Williams, Attorney at Law, 1601 Fairview Drive, Suite C, Carson City, NV. Call Day today! (775)8858398

What falls....

but doesn’t break, and what breaks but doesn’t fall? Night falls but doesn’t break. Day breaks but doesn’t fall.

RETIRED MACHINIST WITH QUALITY HAND TOOLS at low prices, Micrometers one inch to sixteen inches, depth mikes, calipers, etc. Call Kim (775)265-7259 JAMES THE TECH GUY, IN-HOME services at a fair price, setup TV’s, computers, internet, security cameras, computer lessons (775)515-2316 WEEKLY LAWN CARE AND AERATION, 17+ years experience, quality service, serving Carson Valley, Carson Valley Lawn Care, Insured (775)230-2546 “A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.”

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PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Robert (775)690-1441 AFFORDABLE NEVADA CCW CLASSES $50, tac-aimfirearmsinstruction.com or (775)360-5214 MEDLINE WHEELCHAIR, PREMIUM SLIP BACK desk arm, 22”x18” seat, brand new, never used $135 (775)2675348

Smart Pills

One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, ‘’What is that?’’ ‘’They’re smart pills,’’ said the other boy. ‘’Eat them and they’ll make you smarter.

So he ate them and said, ‘’These taste like poop.’’ ‘’See,’’ said the other boy, ‘’you’re getting smarter already.’’

CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWELRY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred.

Please leave phone number and clear message on my phone.

I return all calls. Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com CONSTRUCTION TOOLS. RETIRED BUILDING Contractor selling tools. Table saw and other tools of the trade.

Call Pete (775)267-0227 RENT ME FOR SUMMER CLEANING, PUT A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load or, we remove, ask us about out loading assistance available (775)297-2320 C-THRU WINDOW CLEANING, “WINDOW CLEANING at its finest”, Call Casey (775)350-8021

Oatmeal Kisses

The baby is teething-the children are fighting. My husband just called and said to eat dinner without him. Okay, one of these days you’ll shout: “Why don’t you grow up and act your age!” and they will, or “You guys get outside and find yourselves something to do...and don’t slam the door!”...and they won’t.

You’ll straighten up their rooms neat and tidy...bumper stickers discarded...spreads tucked and smooth ... toys displayed on the shelves...hangars in the closet...animals caged, and you’ll say outloud: “Now I want it to stay that way!” and it will...You’ll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn’t been picked to death and a cake with no finger traces in it and you’ll say, “Now there’s a meal for a company.” and you’ll eat it alone.

You’ll say, “I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around, no pantomimes, no demolition crews. Silence! Do you hear?”...and you’ll have it. No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti, no more anxious nights under a vaporizer tent, no more dandelion bouquets, no more iron-on patches, knotted shoestrings, or tight moots.

Imagine, a lipstick with a point, no babysitter for New Year’s Eve, washing clothes only once a week, no P.T.A. meetings, carpools, blaring radios, Christmas presents out of toothpicks and paste. No more “Wet Oatmeal Kisses”. No more tooth fairy giggles in the dark, or knees to heal. Only a voice crying...”Why don’t you grow up?”... and the silence echoing .......”I did.”

1940 FORD CAB FOR A RAT ROD; 1953 DODGE M37, APART; 1999 Ford F250 Super Duty 2WD, AT, smokes, Al (775)434-7452 KENNY AND COLLEEN’S STUMP GRINDING services, K&C stump grinding services, Call (917)362-3181 or (410)739-4052 WANTED! COMIC BOOKS AND/OR SPORTS CARDS, I can come to you (562)706-4224 MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627 TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079 SUGAR PLUM HOUSEKEEPING, LICENSED, Bonded and insured with references, Free estimates, great cleaning, fair prices, Samantha (775)220-4252

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Improving performance

Just like mom...

Manny is almost 29 years old. His friends have already gotten married, but Manny still just dates and dates.

Finally, a friend asks him, “What’s the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you that particular? Can’t you find anyone who suits you?”

“No,” Manny replies. “I meet many nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my Mother doesn’t like them. So I keep on looking!”

“Listen,” his friend suggests, “Why don’t you find a girl who’s just like your dear ole Mother?”

Many weeks go by and again Manny and his friend get together. “So, Manny, did you find that perfect girl yet--one that’s just like your Mother?”

Manny shrugs his shoulders, “Yes, I found one just like Mom. And my mother loved her, and they became fast friends.”

So should I congratulate you? “Are you and this girl engaged, yet?” “I’m afraid not. My Father can’t stand her!”

2003 JEEP WRANGLER - INLINE 6 4.0 ENGINE, only 105K miles! All upgrades professionally installed: Lift Kit Rubicon Express 4½”. Rear diff. Yukon gears. 33” SST Cooper Tires. New Sound System. Hardtop. 7” Fenders. 33” Spare tire. Well serviced! Asking $15,000 (775)600-5920 ANTIQUE TIGER STRIPE OAK DRESSER with mirror, great condition paid $795, best price of $200 takes it (775)782-3770

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With Viagra being such a hit, Pfizer, pharmaceutical company, is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today’s society.

DIRECTRA - A dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask for directions when they got lost compared to a control group where only 0.2 percent asked for directions.

PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, overwhelming urge to perform more child-care tasks, especially cleaning up spills and little accidents.

COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middleaged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after taking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store’s return limit.

NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra.

Currently undergoing clinical trials on a few politicians.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

CAPAGRA - Caused test subjects to become uncharacteristically fastidious about lowering toilet seats and replacing toothpaste caps. Subjects on higher doses were seen dusting furniture.

PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent overdose turned three test subjects into special prosecutors.

LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when they are asked about their affairs. Will be available in Regular, Medium and and Extra Strength versions.

“ALWAYS ON DUTY” STURDY HANDRAILS, flat or stepped areas, all metal, free standing, custom built to fit your needs, installation available, maintain independence & a healthy well being! (775)790-6445

Happy June Birthdays!

You’re another year older! Your birthday is a perfect occasion to pause, reflect and promise yourself another great year full of adventure. Wishing you a wonderful year ahead! Happy Birthday!

IF YOU CAN’T FIND “IT” ELSEWHERE, CONTACT us at infocourthouseproducts@charter.net or (775)265-1480 NEED MORE PARKING? GARAGE SOLUTION. Turn your 2 car garage into a 3 or 4 car garage! Call Al for details (775)781-1747 “I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.”

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

23

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

24

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” SNOOZER LOOKOUT I PET CAR SEAT FOR SMALL dog, brand new $50 (775)781-9721

Graduation Speech

Bus Drivers & Substitute Bus Drivers Wanted

Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for: Contracted School Bus Drivers & Substitute School Bus Drivers, Starting Salary: $15.95/hour or based on up to 5 years of bus driving experience. Varied Hours up to 40 hours a week. Contracted positions for permanent routes include; Full benefits; medical, dental, vision & life insurance. Paid sick leave & holidays. NV PERS retirement. Apply online: dcsd.k12. nv.us/employment to complete an application.

USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539 $200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461 SUMMER JOB - EASTERN SIERRA MID MAY - OCTOBER 15th, For job description go to: virginialakesresort. com/employment for information and phone number SCRAP METAL WANTED - FREE REMOVAL, can pay for large amounts (775)297-2320

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Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world- weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who’d rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there’s no reason we can’t entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates. I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ‘2022: Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind.

You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing. Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements. Stretch. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at your age what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own. Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you.

Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.

Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen. (Mary Schmich 1997) YARD ENHANCEMENT SERVICES, handyman, fence repair/rebuild, tree and brush trim/removal, defensible space improvement, hauling, dump runs, Gardnerville area, Kelly (209)352-0084 “By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old to play the game.”

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Simple one liners

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.....

He thought he was God and I didn’t. 2. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3. I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me! 4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 5. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 6. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 8. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing. 9. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 10. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-theroom-spinning medicine. 11. God must love stupid people; He made so many. 12. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

13. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 14. Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it! 15. Wrinkled was not one of the things i wanted to be when i grew up. 16.

Procrastinate Now! 17. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 18. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance 19. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Call or text Joanne at (775)4302352

June 21st - First day of Summer. Yay!

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

Happy Birthday Ma!

Dear Ma, On your birthday I wish you much peace and joy!

May your day and year be filled with many blessings, and be as wonderful as you. Love you always, Lisa MOBILE EQUIPMENT REPAIR, AUTOS and small to heavy equipment, 25+ years experience, Silva and Sons jeremysilva1975@gmail.com or (707)761-0928 WEEKLY LAWN CARE AND AERATION, 16+ years experience, quality service, serving Carson Valley, Carson Valley Lawn Care, Insured (775)230-2546 SWIMMING POOL SERVICE, WEEKLY or Bi-Monthly, Mountain Pool & Spa Licensed and Insured Tahoepoolboy@gmail.com or (530)318-1698

Did you hear...

Did you hear about the man who fell in love with a psychic?

He got down on one knee and asked her, “Will I marry you?”

FOR SALE! NEW IN BOX 2 MONTANA ‘1999’ RIFLES 1 – 7mm Mag Stainless w/Blk. Ceracote $2,100; 1 – 338 Win. Mag Blued w/upgrade wood $1,850; 3 – New boxes 338 Ammo $150; 3 – New boxes 7mm Ammo $150; 3 – New boxes 25-06 Ammo $150; Dana (775)781-7462 “Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.”

Cows don’t give milk

A father used to say to his children when they were young: —When you all reach the age of 12 I will tell you the secret of life. One day when the oldest turned 12, he anxiously asked his father what was the secret of life. The father replied that he was going to tell him, but that he should not reveal it to his brothers.

The secret of life is this: The cow does not give milk. “What are you saying?” Asked the boy incredulously. As you hear it, son: The cow does not give milk, you have to milk it. You have to get up at 4 in the morning, go to the field, walk through the corral full of manure, tie the tail, hobble the legs of the cow, sit on the stool, place the bucket and do the work yourself.

That is the secret of life, the cow does not give milk. You milk her or you don’t get milk. There is this generation that thinks that cows GIVE milk. Those things are automatic and free: their mentality is that if “I wish, I ask..... I obtain.”

“They have been accustomed to getting whatever they want the easy way...But no, life is not a matter of wishing, asking, and obtaining. The things that one receives are the effort of what one does. Happiness is the result of effort. Lack of effort creates frustration.”

So, share with your children from a young age the secret of life, so they don’t grow up with the mentality that the government, their parents, or their cute little faces are going to give them everything they need in life. Remember -”Cows don’t give milk; you have to work for it.”

sierrascoop.com

29

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” I am Your Flag

I am your flag. I am not a pennant, but a purpose; not a standard, but a symbol; not a banner but a belief.

I was conceived in justice, fostered by the love of liberty, and nourished by the desire for freedom. I am not a flag, but your Flag.

My fate is in your hands. I can rise equal to your highest hopes. I am indicative of your ideals and symbolic of your sacrifices in the preservation of Liberty, Freedom and Justice.

I am not a substance, but a shadow: The heroic spirit of all the great Americans... of Washington and Wayne, of Jefferson and Jones, of Calhoun and Carver.

I flew as proudly at Charleston as at Concord, at San Antonio as at San Juan Hill, at Iwo Jima as at Independence Hall.

I am a composite of a Nation’s ideals and a denotation of its desires. I am Old Glory..... The Star spangled Banner.... the Red, White and Blue.

I am what you believe me to be, and am nothing more. Love and respect me, then Freedom, Liberty, and Justice live.

Neglect me and we perish together.

I am YOUR FLAG. My fate is in your hands. (Author Unknown) TRUCKING, DUMP TRUCK, BOBCAT/LOADER, Excavation and Water Truck Services, call Wade Draper - EMS Transport at (775)690-1671 “Any place is a palace if your heart decides so.”

VFW Breakfast

Topaz VFW Post 3630 is again hosting a monthly breakfast 8:00am-9:30am at the TRE Community Center, 3939 Carter Way on the 4th Saturday of each month.

The breakfast is to rally support for the TRE Veterans by bringing together families and friends for a fun event. $5 Adults, $3 Children under 10.

The VFW Post 3630 has a regular meeting at 4:00pm on the 3rd Wednesday of each month. New members are always welcome!

MOVING SALE! TWO BEDROOM SETS FOR SALE. Each has two dressers, mirrors, nightstands, headboard, queen size bed frame, almost never used mattress. Couch, two matching chairs with ottoman. All like new, used in spare rooms. Bedroom sets $450 each; Couch, chairs and ottomans as a set $450 Janice (775)782-4349 GOLDENDOODLE/BORDER COLLIE 6 MONTH old spayed female UTD vaccines. Beautiful Red loving companion. (775)294-2286 PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, inside or out, Fences (775)901-1912 GLOCK 44, 22LR, INCLUDES 2 MAGS, $350 FFL REQUIRED, contact Bill (775)220-0492

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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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