June 2021 Scoop Online Edition

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE - Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 17+ Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 NEW, NEVER TAKEN OUT OF BOX RV SLIDE – Our Supporters (2ea) Sales price $30, Gardnerville (925)5848940 PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)2916827 ONE EXCELLENT 37”X79” BED(S) AND MOTORS with frame for a person to have a comfortable feeling; the motors allow up and down and has not been used for years $50 (775)721-3346 WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192 KENMORE TOP LOADING WHITE WASHER DRYER, they are 2 years old in pristine condition $500 (775)465-2523 AMERICAN FUND RESEARCH AMMUNITION for sale, various calibers, call for details (775)720-6076

CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWELRY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred.

Please leave phone number and clear message on my NEW phone number. I return all calls. Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352 TRUCKING, DUMP TRUCK, BOBCAT/LOADER, Excavation and Water Truck Services, call Wade Draper - EMS Transport at (775)690-1671 ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $499, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994 NDM-86 DRAGONOV COMPLETE, PLUS EXTRAS and a full case of 7N1 ammunition, Asking $11,000 or best offer, contact Pete at (775)315-4285 HUGE MULTI FAMILY GARAGE SALE, T.R.E. (Topaz Ranch Estates) 3904 Walker View Rd., June 4th, 5th and 6th from 9:00am to 3:00pm; Power Tools, Hand Tools, Horse Tack, and Collectables Much much more!

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” To the kids who can’t wait to grow up

The cost of a woman

Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, “What’s wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, “This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you.

She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you. She will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement.

She will praise you! She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.

“She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love whenever you need it.”

Adam asked God, “What will a woman like this cost?” God replied, “An arm and a leg.” Then Adam asked, “What can I get for a rib?”

ANNUAL COMMUNITY YARD SALE QUAIL RUN Senior Resort, Carson City, Saturday, June 12th, 7am to 1pm, Fairview gate opens at 7am 27’ CLASS A 95 ALEGRA MOTORHOME with refrigerator, stove, bed etc. $9,500, Ellen 9am-11am (775)392-3536 5 THREAD OVERLOCK MACHINE $350 OBO; Top of the line designer fabrics $8 per yard; women’s 26” mountain bike $100 OBO; table and 4 chairs $125 OBO (775)220-4697

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Every kid at least once in their life has said the same very words: “I can’t wait to grow up.” The real question is, why does this thought come through almost every single one of our heads?

We wait our entire lives to grow up...until it actually happens. If you are still young enough, please enjoy the time you have left for living the free and innocent life.

You may not realize it, but the life of a kid is pretty glamorous.

Yes, you may have a curfew that you aren’t fond of, or be forced to eat your vegetables in order to get that desert you want so bad.

Although, kids get to go outside play with their friends, color, paint, take required naps, and get those special bedtime stories that you will no longer get once you grow up.

Looking back at this life now makes me question why I ever said those few words. The adult life is a pain. You are now responsible for yourself and actions. In most instances, mom and dad are no longer going to baby you around. You no longer get those mandatory naps, which you would love to have now.

Those bedtime stories and being tucked in at night are all gone.

As the years go on, your life becomes more hectic and complicated than you would have expected. When you were little, you could count all the activities you had to do in a day on one hand. However, the list of things to do now has seemed to expand. You can barely keep track of it all. You have thousands of thoughts popping in and out of your head, such as, “I have to pay that telephone bill;” “My car needs to get an oil change; I probably should get on that;” “What time do you have to pick up the kids?”

So to the kids who say they can’t wait to grow up, don’t ever say it again. Before you will know it, you will be all grown up.

You will be overwhelmed with more things than you can think of. For some reason we, all can’t wait for something in life. We never seem to be satisfied with what we have. Your time will come and you will get to live that adult life you have wanted so badly, but for now relax and enjoy the free time while you can.

(J. Morse) $5 OFF FIRST HAIR APPOINTMENT, MEN, Women and Children. Style changes welcome. Pure Platinum Salon, Carson City, call or text (775)300-8821 GET FAST INTERNET! UP TO 40 MBPS, WIRELESS! (not satellite, not DSL). Great in rural areas, www.ruralinternet.us or call Patrick (775)297-4777 $200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461

Supporting a family...

Sam had proposed to young Kathy and was being interviewed by his prospective father-in-law. “Do you think you are earning enough to support a family?” the older man asked the suitor.

“Yes, sir,” replied Sam, “I am.” “Well,” said Kathy’s father, “think carefully now. There are six of us.”

Thank you for your patronage!

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Reasons not to exercise in your later years

It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she’s 97 years old and we don’t know where the hell she is.

The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. And last but not least: I don’t exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

You could run this over to your friends but why not just e-mail it to them!

GENOA COMMUNITY GARAGE SALE, JUNE 8TH, 8am-3pm, Foothills Meadow Court

ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)2654766 NEW 10.5 FT. TELESCOPING EXTENSION Aluminum Ladder, Great for RV’s. Sales price $200 OBO, Gardnerville (925)584-8940 D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)671-0808

Substitute Custodians Wanted

Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for: Substitute Custodian, flexible hours and days, evening/swing shifts, Salary: $17.08/hour, Apply online: dcsd.k12. nv.us/employment to complete an application.

ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)721-2880 LIKE NEW CUSTOM FLOW ELITE SERIES TAILGATE, All galvanized steel painted gloss black, comes with center locking handle. Sales price $400 OBO. Will fit the following Dodge Ram trucks: Ram 1500 2009 thru 2018, Ram 2500 2010 thru 2021, Gardnerville (925)584-8940

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Grandparents: Keepers of the Family’s Stories

All families have a unique history comprised of milestone events and peopled by a diverse cast of characters. This history of a family is passed on in the telling of its stories. The richest families are those in which the stories have been remembered, treasured, and incorporated into the spirit of the family.

Grandparents, more than anyone else, are the keepers of the family stories. They are a living bridge between the past and the future of a family. Their intimate connection with the two generations that preceded them and the two that follow gives them a remarkable knowledge and view of the landscape of five generations.

When grandchildren hear the family’s stories they learn who they are and from where they came. Research has shown that children who know something of their roots and the history of their family have stronger self-esteem. Through the family stories, children are given a sense of belonging and they develop a family pride. Stories about the family ancestors tend to build confidence in children and empower them. Along with self-confidence and family pride, the family stories teach the faith, ethics and values of a family.

Few families have held on to more than a couple generations of the family stories. Unless someone in the family tells the stories, they are lost, and when the family stories are lost a piece of the family’s soul and identity is lost. Maintaining and passing on the family stories is a precious gift that grandparents can give to their grandchildren as well as other family members. (cfm.org)

WEEKLY LAWN CARE AND AERATION, 17+ years experience, quality service, Insured, serving Carson Valley, Carson Valley Lawn Care (775)230-2546 FOR SALE: 5 ACRES ON 30 TERRELL LANE, Smith Valley, great views of the Pinenut Range $75,000, Call Eric (775)720-6398

Hey LOOKI LU ! Where Are You??

Delight the bride with something old, new, borrowed, from YOU and ACT 2, 607 S. Main St. Yerington, Pat Riley (408)8044010, Toni Harrison (775)781-6487 GENEALOGY - THOROUGH RESEARCH OF FAMILY histories. A unique gift for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or yourself! www.PersonalPedigree.com or Lisa (775)450-3175 TAKE CARE OF YOUR LOVED ONES. WILLS and Trusts. Day R. Williams, Attorney at Law, 1601 Fairview Drive, Suite C, Carson City, NV. Call Day today! (775)8858398 SILVA AND SONS MOBILE EQUIPMENT Repair! Autos and small to heavy equipment, 25+ years experience, jeremysilva1975@gmail.com or (707)761-0928

June 14th - Flag Day 6

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SPECIALIZING IN GARAGES, ADDITIONS, REMODELS, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, Redline Construction Inc. (775)781-3955 MAYTAG EPIC GAS DRYER QUIET, ENERGY efficient and runs like new $150; Women’s hybrid mountain bicycle multiple gears $90 with helmet, call (661)609-6138 PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, inside or out, Fences (775)901-1912 WE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR PETS IN YOUR home, all sizes, we WILL spoil them as you do, call for meet and greet, 10 years experience, housekeeping available too, Serving Dayton, Carson City, Douglas County, Johnnell and Al (209)986-6381

Attention Yard Sale-ers!

FISH Flea Market 2nd Saturday in June, July and August from 8am-2pm. Sign up to sell your stuff or just come and enjoy the fun! Raffle for vendors, refreshments for all! Information: Renee (775)882-3474 LIKE NEW B&W COMPANION OEM SLIDER 5th Wheel Hitch for Ram Puck System. Model BWRVK3670 with 20,000 GTW. Fits Ram 2500 2013 thru 2017. Comes with cover. Sales price $1,000 OBO, Gardnerville (925)584-8940

Two additions to the Periodic Table of Elements

Element Name: WOMAN - Symbol: WO. Atomic Weight: (Don’t even go there) Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled. Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen. Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known. Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

Element Name: MAN - Symbol: XY. Atomic Weight: (180+/50). Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time.

Neutralize by saturating with alcohol. Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.

“Was learning cursive really necessary?”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

What to do when you’re pulled over by police

There are many reasons why you may get pulled over, such as speeding, using your phone, or tailgating. However, sometimes you may get pulled over, even if you don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. If it happens to you, here are a few things you should do.

Stay Calm - Always stay calm! It’s not the end of the world to be pulled over, and you may not even get a ticket. Try to remain composed and relaxed.

Be Respectful - One of the most important things to do during police encounters is to be respectful. Answer all questions with courtesy, be polite to the officer, and show that you’re taking them seriously. When an officer pulls you over, they don’t know who you are or what you have in your car, so their safety is at risk as well. By showing them respect, you’ll help them feel safe, and you might even be let off with only a warning.

Show ID When Asked - Generally, you should always give the officer your ID when asked. They will use this to run a check on your name and license plates, making sure you’re not in trouble with the law. If for any reason you don’t have an ID, be honest.

Explain why you don’t have it and don’t make excuses or give false information.

Explain Your Movements - If the officer asks for your ID or insurance papers, they might be in your purse in the backseat or the glove box. Before reaching for them, let the officer know where they are and explain that you’re reaching for them. Explaining your movements will make the encounter less stressful

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for both you and the police.

Stay in Your Car - If you’re pulled over, stay in your car and wait until the officer approaches you. This is safer for both parties, especially if you’re near a busy road. Only get out of your car if the officer requests you to do so.

HIGH DESERT FLOOR COVERING IS HIRING a flooring installer to work in and around Yerington/Smith Valley.

Must have own tools, for details call (775)463-1186 DO YOU NEED TO REPLACE YOUR WORN out concrete driveway, patio, or walkway? We also install new patios, driveways, monolithic garage slabs, retaining walls, footings, and stemwalls. K&C Construction, NV LIC # 79034, 79237, 81038, 86464. To get a free quote call at (775)691-6462 1967 CHRYSLER NEWPORT, $2,500, CALL DAVE AT (775)230-3626 PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373 LARGE DINING ROOM TABLE WITH 4 LEAVES, can seat 10, 6 chairs included, solid Oak construction on all, $500 (775)392-4711

Hugging

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It is great medicine, it has no unpleasant side effects, it’s all natural, no pesticides, no preservatives, no artificial ingredients there are no movable parts, no batteries to wear out, no periodic check-ups - low energy consumption, high yield of feel good energy. It is non-fattening, non-taxable and non-polluting and the very best part is that it is fully returnable.

If I were running a school of love, class would begin every day with hugging practice.

If you are home right this minute - get up and go give a loved one a hug.

HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 21 years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453 WEEKLY LAWN CARE AND AERATION, 16+ years experience, quality service, serving Carson Valley, Carson Valley Lawn Care, Insured (775)230-2546 DRILL PRESS, FLOOR MODEL, CHICAGO 17R, ½ HP, $100, Don (775)901-2384 WANTED; LICENSE PLATES, OLD MOTORCYCLE Helmets, Musical Instruments, Old Watches And Old Lighters, John (775)315-4930

Graduation Wish

We wish for you a joy-filled transition from the shelter of school to the wide world of your accomplishment and success.

We wish for you new, stimulating friendships, while you cherish old friends, who provide continuity and comfort.

We wish for you a smooth path on your journey to your chosen destination, and as much delight in your off-road adventures as there is in reaching your goal.

Congratulations, graduates! May the world embrace you, excite you, and strengthen you in everything you do.

BERGARA B14 RIFLE 22-250 NIB, $550, CALL (775)9011775 MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501 HANDICAPPED-ACCESSIBLE 2016 CHRYSLET Town & Country van, only 42,300 original miles $34,000 OBO, for info. and photos (775)315-1152

Flowers

Marriage counsellor - Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Me: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Uniform Crime Report Crime in the United States, 2019

A smart response

My wife and I were comparing notes the other day. ‘I have a higher IQ, did better on my SAT’s, and make more money than you,’ she pointed out.

‘Yeah, but when you step back and look at the big picture, I’m still ahead,’ I said.

She looked mystified. ‘How do you figure?’ ‘I married better,’ I replied.

G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672

The FBI’s Uniform Crime Reporting (UCR) Program counts one arrest for each separate instance in which a person is arrested, cited, or summoned for an offense. The UCR Program collects arrest data on 28 offenses, as described in Offense Definitions. (Please note that, as of 2010, the UCR Program no longer collected data on runaways.) Because a person may be arrested multiple times during a year, the UCR arrest figures do not reflect the number of individuals who have been arrested; rather, the arrest data show the number of times that persons are arrested, as reported by law enforcement agencies to the UCR Program.

Nationwide, law enforcement made an estimated 10,085,207 arrests in 2019. Of these arrests, 495,871 were for violent crimes, and 1,074,367 were for property crimes. (Note: the UCR Program does not collect data on citations for traffic violations.)

The highest number of arrests were for drug abuse violations (estimated at 1,558,862 arrests), driving under the influence (estimated at 1,024,508), and larceny-theft (estimated at 813,073).

The estimated arrest rate for the United States in 2019 was 3,011.0 arrests per 100,000 inhabitants. The arrest rate for violent crime (including murder and non-negligent manslaughter, rape, robbery, and aggravated assault) was 156.3 per 100,000 inhabitants, and the arrest rate for property crime (burglary, larceny-theft, motor vehicle theft, and arson) was 343.3 per 100,000 inhabitants.

Two-year arrest trends show violent crime arrests decreased 0.9 percent in 2019 when compared with 2018 arrests, and property crime arrests decreased 3.4 percent when compared with 2018 arrests.

Arrests of juveniles for all offenses decreased 3.4 percent in 2019 when compared with the 2018 number; arrests of adults decreased 3.7 percent.

Nearly 73 percent (72.5) of the persons arrested in the nation during 2019 were males. They accounted for 78.9 percent of persons arrested for violent crime and 62.3 percent of persons arrested for property crime.

In 2019, 69.4 percent of all persons arrested were White, 26.6 percent were Black or African American, and the remaining 4.0 percent were of other races.

TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079 YARD ENHANCEMENT SERVICES, handyman, fence repair/rebuild, tree and brush trim/removal, defensible space improvement, hauling, dump runs, Gardnerville area, Kelly (209)352-0084 ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, all water sports, furnished cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at eaglelakeheritage.com or (800)459-5179

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INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX preparation, Federal and all States, prior years, audit representation, 30 years experience, reasonable rates (775)3920418

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Outdoorsy Man

During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level He described a typical day this way: ‘Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and took four leaks behind big trees.’

Inspired by the story, the doctor said, ‘You must be one heck of an outdoors man!’ ‘NAH,’ he replied, ‘I’m just a crappy golfer.’

YOUR DREAM VACATION IS CLOSER THAN YOU think! For a travel planning consultation call (714)381-6233 Felicity Clark/Genoa - Independent Travel Consultant, An Affiliate of Academy Travel - Specializing in Disney and Universal Destinations.

HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)6915119 “You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.“

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Got Drama?

Do you have people in your life who like to create drama? Do they like to stir up energy and conflict, adding fuel to the fire and then reveling in it? Do they fit the term Drama Queen? It can be a challenge to be around people who are addicted to drama.

When you’ve been working diligently to lessen drama in your life by creating peacefulness and calm, drama can be very noticeable. It becomes uncomfortable and it stands out to get your attention. You begin to notice the woman in line at the coffee shop who doesn’t get the right coffee and proceeds to get so loud that the entire shop notices. Or, the man at the convenience store who is rude and obnoxious to the clerk and proceeds to drag the other customers into the attack,. Or, the in-law that blows everything out of proportion so that they have some adventure in their life, even if the entire family is miserable. The list goes on and on.

If you are undertaking a healing journey to achieve more balance and peace within your life, drama comes up and tests you. The test is whether you chose to ‘Buy into it’ or ‘Move right by it.’ It is a choice, just like choosing happiness. You can make any choice on your path. If drama feels uncomfortable to you and you’ve decided it’s not for you, then move right on by it, but it’s easy to get sucked into the old pattern- especially if it is coming from family members. The test is to see whether or not you choose to see it for what it is: buying in or moving by? (learnreligions.com) “YOUR HOMETOWN JUNK HAULER SINCE 1996!”

Junk and Trash, etc, Carson Valley/Carson City, $279 a load plus dump fee, J.R.’s Hauling (775)265-6813 C. BARNHAM HANDYWOMAN - PAINTING, Sheetrock Repair, House Cleaning, Odd Jobs, crystalbarnham94@ gmail.com or (775)350-0613 R&J TRUCKING IS STILL DELIVERING MINE TAILING, 25 years experience, call Roger (775)233-7337 NEW MALONE 2” DUAL PURPOSE HITCH RECEIVER and it comes with hitch receiver lock. Sales price $75 OBO, Gardnerville (925)584-8940

A wife once observed

I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared, “Hey, we’re getting along pretty great lately!”

Note: Actually more than 1 wife has made the same observation!

MOBILE MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE, OIL & Filter Change, Air Filter, Brake Radiator Fluid, Dead Battery, Chain Sprocket, Clutch Throttle, mmmaint64@gmail.com or (775)671-4137 COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, davenportlandscape.com or (775)265-1491 or (775)721-8439

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JACKRABBIT PLUMBING IS NOW HIRING FOR Service Technicians. Great pay. Minimum 5 years of experience required. Office located in Gardnerville. For an application call (775)782-4274 USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539 HANDICAPPED-ACCESSIBLE 2016 CHRYSLET Town & Country van, only 42,300 original miles $34,000 OBO, for info. and photos (775)315-1152

Relatives of yours?

A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, “Are they relatives of yours?”

“Yes,” his wife replied. “I married into the family.”

MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 34+ YEARS experience! Serving Carson Valley and surrounding areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351 CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! REPAIR, RE-STITCH, Replace; Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/Minden (775)267-4434 or (775)230-8706

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Moving a Computer

Communication Chain

When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at ‘Mom’ and pushed send.

His mother answered, and I told her what happened.

‘Don’t worry,’ she said, ‘I’ll take care of it.’ A few minutes later, the cell phone rang. It was ‘Mom.’ ‘Martin,’ she said, ‘you left your cell phone at the convenience store.’

HOME INTEGRITY - ALL YOUR NEEDS INSIDE and out, Licensed, bonded, and insured, Charles (775)357-5715, Samantha (775)220-4252

Sometimes it becomes necessary to move your computer to a new location for whatever reason; installing/adding new hardware or just decided to move it for “easier access”, for instance (note easier access in quotation marks). Whatever your reason is, this handy guide may help you alleviate some of the stress that always arises in such occasions. Keep in mind that this is a venture only to be undertaken by those who know what they’re doing...and masochists.

1. Bone up on your cursing. You will need it later. 2. Pick a “good” spot to locate your computer. Don’t be too picky; you will regret having started on this venture soon enough. 3. Disconnect all cables, cords, power sources, umbilical cords and plumbing. Look at the black, gray and white spaghetti mess on the floor and sob. Refer to number 1. While you’re at it, it helps to focus on cursing Bill Gates and Steve Jobs for making all this possible. 4. Be sure to dust machine off, since it’s been sitting for months in one spot, gathering a dust mound the size of Mt. Rainier. This is especially essential if you have asthma.

5. Now that you’ve picked a “good” spot, it’s time to replace all the cables, cords, etc. Make sure it’s in a dark, hard-to-reach location. 6. New computers have color-coded plugs and plug-ins to make assembly easier. This has no bearing on you since your computer is in a dark, hard-to-reach location and they’re all the same color: gray. See number 1. 7. Get a flashlight. Look for new batteries for flashlight you’ve left in the junk drawer for months. Go to store to buy new flashlight batteries since you don’t have any.

Rule number 1 is coming in handy now. 8. While inserting various cords and cables, be sure to drop at least one on the floor behind the desk, where it will take a contortionist to retrieve it.

9. Find out that your printer cable is now not long enough to reach the computer (see number 1). Oh well, you didn’t use it that much anyway. 10. Once you have all the cables, etc. back in place, turn computer back on. 11. Sit, puzzled why computer isn’t working. 12. Plug monitor in. 13. Ponder why keyboard and mouse don’t work. 14. Switch keyboard and mouse plugins. 15. Call spouse in to admire your handiwork. 16. Spouse informs you that he/ she liked it better where it was, and to move it back. 17. When asked why you’re banging your head on the monitor, don’t reply. It would only confuse him/her.

TRAILER, ENCLOSED, WEATHER PROOF, 77” wide by 105” long by 50” tall $300; electric powered washer sink for parts $25 (775)265-0548 HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30+ years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick–up and delivery, parts in one day! californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521 FOR SALE! 1948 STUDEBAKER TRUCK, CALL (775)2652129 CRAFTSMAN CONSTRUCTION LLC, SPECIALIZING in: New Construction, Additions, Remodels and Painting: Quality Workmanship with over 30 years experience, free estimates, Serving Carson Valley, NV Lic.60315, NVPainting Lic.82727 Find us on Facebook or (775)690-1749

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NEW SWAGMAN TRAILHEAD 2 BIKE RACK THAT fits into a 2” receiver. Rack has a tilting base and bike rack section and also comes with a locking receiver. Sales price $100 OBO, Gardnerville (925)584-8940

Husband Down

A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket.

The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the wife. ‘They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,’ he replies. ‘Put them back, we can’t afford them,’ demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the husband. ‘It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,’ replies the wife. Her husband retorts: ‘So does 24 cans of Budweiser and its half the price.’

On the PA system: ‘Cleanup needed on aisle 3. We have a husband down...

MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627 JR POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE AND REPAIR, ALL makes, models and years; Quads, OHV, Dirt and Street Bikes; from tune up to full rebuild. 35 years experience!

Dayton, jrpowersports.com or (775)241-2530 ANTELOPE VALLEY RARE 80 ACRE FEET UNDERGROUND water rights, sell all or part, ready for immediate transfer (831)336-3345

Re-luster / Refurbish / Disinfect Kitchen Cabinets

Don’t paint-out or replace your existing cabinetry until you look at our services. The Great Basin has the highest UV and driest climate in the USA, damaging your cabinets’ finish. We have a whole new method and new concepts, with years of experience developed right here, for our climate!

Our less intrusive process is many times less costly than painting or replacing! You don’t empty your cabinets! In just a few days, in & out for basic refurbishing. Add a day or two for color options like tinting/glazing. We have exclusive and proprietary professional products to enhance, renew and refurbish over your original finish!

We normally work 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.; and clean-up & sanitize by 4:30 p.m., returning to your kitchen at 9:00 a.m. the next morning. Our deep cleaning professional and refurbishing products are hand rubbed, dustless, UV protective and EPA Nev. & Calif. Compliant! Yes, we have been and will continue to kill bacteria and disinfect, to our Guidelines!

For inspections, sampling, client testimonials, written ‘Covid19 Sanitizing Program’, e-mail: danakathy-pc@hotmail.com OR call: ‘Cabinets Etc.’, Dana @ (775)781-7462 or Kathy @ (775)782-7821. NV. Lic. #18331, CA. Lic. #310071.

“I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forgot where I was going with this.”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Appearing in court

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived. The women were arguing noisily even in the court.

The judge, banging his gavel to quiet them said, “We are going to do this in an orderly manner. I can’t listen to all of you at once. I’ll hear the oldest first.” The case was dismissed for lack of testimony.

BENNELLI 12 GAUGE M2 AUTO SHOTGUN. MARSH Cammo, 26” BBl, Call (775)901-1775

June 20th - Father’s Day 16

Come join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church

Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 5pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590 PART TIME EMPLOYMENT, NON-PROFIT AGENCY; flexible hours working with seniors. Positions available in Topaz, Coleville, Walker and Bridgeport, California. Call for more information (530)495-2700 RENT ME FOR SUMMER CLEANING, PUT A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove (775)297-2320

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” POPCORN MACHINE, ACE HARDWARE STYLE with popcorn $600; Plastic storage boxes with lids $8 each; Budweiser ‘After The Hunt’ bar light $50; 5 drawer file cabinet $25, Carson City (408)270-4028 CASH PAID FOR – KNIVES; TOBACCO Pipes; Old Lanterns (Camping, RR); Old Camp / Backpack Stoves; Old Decoys / Hunting Stuff, Jeff (775)720-2577 SEMI-RETIRED FINISH CARPENTER- DOOR install/ repairs, security screens, deadbolts, shelving, molding and general carpentry repairs. Call Mark (775) 782-6198 or (775)790-5927

Warshing Clothes Recipe

Shingles

Bubba had shingles. Those of us who spend much time in a doctor’s office should appreciate this! Doesn’t it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?

Here’s what happened to Bubba: Bubba walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: ‘Shingles.’ So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked Bubba what he had.

Bubba said, ‘Shingles’ So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, ‘Shingles...’ So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had.

Bubba said, ‘Shingles.’ The doctor asked, ‘Where?’ Bubba said, ‘Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload ‘em??’

FREE! CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS, LIGHTS, ornaments, figurines (775)782-5645 “I see people about my age mountain climbing; heck, I feel good just getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.”

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Years ago an Alabama grandmother gave the new bride the following recipe: Supposedly, this is an exact copy as written and found in an old scrapbook - spelling errors and all.

WARSHING CLOTHES: Build fire in backyard to heat kettle of rain water. Set tubs so smoke wont blow in eyes if wind is pert. Shave one hole cake of lie soap in boilin water. Sort things, make 3 piles. 1 pile white, 1 pile colored, 1 pile work britches and rags. To make starch, stir flour in cool water to smooth, then thin down with boiling water. Take white things, rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard, and boil, then rub colored don’t boil just wrench and starch. Take things out of kettle with broom stick handle, then wrench, and starch. Hang old rags on fence. Spread tea towels on grass. Pore wrench water in flower bed. Scrub porch with hot soapy water. Turn tubs upside down. Go put on clean dress, smooth hair with hair combs. Brew cup of tea, sit and rock a spell and count your blessings.

Paste this over your washer and dryer. Next time when you think life is hard...read it again, kiss that washing machine and dryer, and give thanks. First thing each morning you should run and hug your washer and dryer. For you non-southerners “wrench” means rinse.

BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND re-colored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (775)233- 5297 THOMPSON/CENTER TRIUMPH BONE collector muzzle loading rifle, 50 caliber, recently purchased and only used five bullets $590, (775)721-3346

A story about a horse

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. ‘What was that for?’ the man asked. The wife replied ‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket’.

The man then said ‘When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.’ The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife smacks him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit him again. Wife replied. ‘Your horse phoned’.

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, cabinets and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, (775)781-5531 or (775)450-2061 NEW CURT 2” HITCH CARGO CARRIER. MADE OF steel with a 500 lbs. loading capacity that is 20’x59” in size and it comes with a receiver lock and a like new Reese cargo tray water proof bag. Sales price $225 OBO, Gardnerville (925)584-8940 HYDRAULIC CYLINDER REPAIR AND REBUILD, All makes models and year, Commercial Equipment, Tractors, Fork Lifts, Log splitters, Farm equipment, Dump Trucks and Trailers, Boats and RVs, Welding and Machining, Ramco Fabrication, shawn@ramcofab.com or (775)267-7358

CUJO’S HOG HOUSE! V-TWIN Motorcycle repair, maintenance and accessories, also sales and service of Frankenstein Trike conversions, Factory Trained PHD and ASE Certified, 1430 Industrial Way, Unit C (in the back) (775)782-6051 DUCK DECOYS, WEIGHTS, VARIOUS SPECIES, call (775)901-1775

Happy Father’s Day to my Son

“A mother knows it took being a wonderful son for you to become a wonderful dad.” You are a good man, a great daddy and one who is loved today and every day. Wishing you a wonderful and relaxing Father’s Day! You deserve it! Love Always, Mom

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” An Old Soldier’s Prayer

“Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.

“Build me a son whose wishes will not take the place of deeds; a son who will know Thee…and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge.

“Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high, a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.

“And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom and the meekness of true strength.

“Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, “I have not lived in vain’.” – Gen. Douglas A. MacArthur BENSON FEED - WE CARRY A WIDE VARIETY of pet foods and supplies. We also offer quality hay and feed for horses, as well as horse tack, etc. bensonfeed.com, Carson City (775)882-3999 NEW NEVER OUT OF THE BOX RV 5TH WHEELER cover. ADCO climate – Tyvek RV cover. Designed to fit a 31’ 1” to 34’ 5th wheeler. Comes with gutter spout covering system. Sales price $225 OBO, Gardnerville (925)584-8940

Ain’t

He was just a little boy, On a week’s first day. Wandering home from Bible school, And dawdling on the way..

He scuffed his shoes in to the grass; He even found a caterpillar. He found a fluffy milkweed pod, And blew out all the ‘filler.’

A bird’s nest in a tree overhead, So wisely placed up so high.

Was just another wonder, That caught his eager eye.

A neighbor watched his zig zag course, And hailed him from the lawn; Asked him where he’d been that day And what was going on.

‘I’ve been to Bible School,’ He said and turned a piece of sod. He picked up a wiggly worm replying, ‘I’ve learned a lot about God.’ ‘M’m very fine way,’ the neighbor said, ‘for a boy to spend his time.’ ‘If you’ll tell me where God is, I’ll give you a brand new dime.’

Quick as a flash the answer came! Nor were his accents faint.

‘I’ll give you a dollar, Mister, If you can tell me where God ain’t.’ (Poet unknown) CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Call or text Joanne at (775)4302352

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21

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides.

These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, (775)782-4520

Stock market report...

Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.

Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches were off. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remained unchanged. Shipping lines stayed at an even keel. The market for raisins dried up. Coca Cola fizzled.

Caterpillar stock inched up a bit. Sun peaked at midday. Balloon prices were inflated. Scott Tissue touched a new bottom. And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.

PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@ aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065 “Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.”

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French fries

There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farmhand working with him to help castrate his sheep.

As the farmer castrated the first sheep, the French farmhand took the parts and was about to throw them into the trash.

“No!” yelled the farmer, “Don’t throw those away! My wife fries them up, and we eat them, they’re delicious! They’re called Sheep Fries!”

The farmhand saved the parts and took them to the farmer’s wife who cooked them up for supper. This went on for three days....and each evening they had Sheep Fries for supper.

On the fourth night the farmer came in to the house for supper.

He asked his wife where the farmhand was, and she replied, “It’s the strangest thing! When he came in and asked what was for supper, I told him French Fries, and he ran like hell!”

NEVADA CCW CLASSES $50, EMAIL tacaimnv@gmail. com or call (775)360-5214 1956 VINTAGE SINGER FEATHERWEIGHT 99K electric sewing machine, Fully operational, clean, includes case, two feet, foot pedal, directions, bobbins $145 775-265-9677 TWO MAN AUGER AND 8” AND 18” BITS $1,300; large quantity of irrigation fittings $390; 12’X24’ mesh tarp $70; five tie down chains and binders $350; (775)265-6798

Happy Father’s Day Dad, Love Lisa

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

Speeding and Tailgating

Speeding is a factor in nearly 10,000 fatal crashes every year in the United States. And speeding is easily preventable. But despite this clear danger we can easily avoid, drivers continue to speed and drive well over the speed limit every day, causing serious accidents and fatalities.

Accidents happen more often on local roads than interstates, freeways, and expressways. Driving on a road with a speed limit of 45 mph or higher is one of the top three predictors of fatality.

Tailgating is a ticketable offense, but more importantly, it is dangerous to both the driver who does the tailgating and the car that is being tailgated. The car in front might have to slam on its brakes suddenly, which leaves absolutely no time for the car in back to react to the situation. As a matter of fact, the car in back is only adding extra danger to the situation. Instead of two cars being involved in an accident, there are now three, and that’s assuming that only one person is tailgating.

How much stopping distance you need varies depending upon driving conditions: 3 seconds, for speeds between 35 and 55 mph, in ideal driving conditions (good road surface, good weather, light traffic): 4 seconds, for speeds between 55 and 75 mph, OR during rain, on wet pavement, or in heavy traffic: 7 – 8 seconds, for icy or snow-covered roads.

How To Calculate Following Distance: Calculate distance between you and car ahead of you by picking an inanimate object beside the roadway. When that other car passes the object, start counting “one thousand one, one thousand two…”. If you get to “one thousand three” before you pass the object, then you’re three seconds behind that car.

HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK repair, replace, resurface and remove, trash removal, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235 FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)782-8776

Substitute Bus Drivers Wanted

Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for: Substitute School Bus Drivers, Starting Salary: $15.88/hour, Varied Hours up to 40 hours a week, Apply online: dcsd.k12.nv.us/employment to complete an application.

LAZY BOY RECLINERS, NEW, PURCHASED LATE January, paid $600 each, will sell both for $700, leave message (775)265-1978 PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441

Happy June Birthdays!

Wishing you all the great things in life, hope your day will bring you an extra share of all that makes you happiest. Happy birthday!

23

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” My Name is Old Glory

PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free.

SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two story houses, based in Minden area, call John (831)801-0003

Mirror Mirror

Bubba and Earls redneck girlfriends were walking down the street. One reaches into her pocketbook for a makeup compact and looks into the mirror.

“This picture looks like someone I know” she says. The other one has a look and says, “Of course dummy, it’s ME....”

GREGOR BOAT 14’, MERCURY 15 HP, EIF, electric start; bow mount Minn Kota trolling motor; Cannon Mag downrigger; Humming bird fish finder, trailer $3,150 Yerington (530)305-2836 1998 TOYOTA FORERUNNER, AUTOMATIC V-6, 267,000 miles, runs great $3,800 (775)901-0717 “You can still get the last word in: Apologize.”

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I am the flag of the United States of America. My name is Old Glory. I fly atop the world’s tallest buildings. I stand watch in America’s halls of justice. I fly majestically over great institutes of learning.

I stand guard with the greatest military power in the world.

Look up! And see me!

I stand for peace - honor - truth and justice. I stand for freedom. I am confident - I am arrogant. I am proud.

When I am flown with my fellow banners My head is a little higher, My colors a little truer.

I bow to no one. I am recognized all over the world. I am worshipped - I am saluted - I am respected. I am revered - I am loved, and I am feared.

I have fought every battle of every war for more than 200 years: Gettysburg, Shilo, Appomatox, San Juan Hill, the trenches of France, the Argonne Forest, Anzio, Rome, the beaches of Normandy, the deserts of Africa, the cane fields of the Philippines, the rice paddies and jungles of Guam, Okinawa, Japan, Korea, Vietnam, Guadalcanal New Britain, Peleliu, and many more islands. And a score of places long forgotten by all but those who were with me. I was there.

I led my soldiers - I followed them. I watched over them.

They loved me. I was on a small hill in Iwo Jima. I was dirty, battle-worn and tired, but my soldiers cheered me, and I was proud.

I have been soiled, burned, torn and trampled on the streets of countries I have helped set free. It does not hurt, for I am invincible. I have been soiled, burned, torn and trampled on the streets of my country, and when it is by those with whom I have served in battle - it hurts. But I shall overcome - for I am strong.

I have slipped the bonds of Earth and stand watch over the uncharted new frontiers of space from my vantage point on the moon. I have been a silent witness to all of America’s finest hours.

But my finest hour comes when I am torn into strips to be used for bandages for my wounded comrades on the field of battle, When I fly at half mast to honor my soldiers, And when I lie in the trembling arms of a grieving mother at the graveside of her fallen son.

I am proud. My name is Old Glory. Dear God - Long may I wave. (By Howard Schnauber - Marine) LAWN MAINTENANCE, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, HOA, Weekly Lawn Care, Fertilizing, Equal Payment Plans, Package Programs, Licensed And Bonded, 25 Years Serving Carson Valley, Total Lawn & Landscape (775)782-3505 FOR SALE: FRONT END LOADER, FORKLIFT, rear plow attachment spade plow, disc plow for Groundhog ATV (ATV not included). Comes with hydraulic pump, electronic control unit and 4 hydraulic rams. Three rams for front end loader and one ram for rear plow attachment. All hardware present, Ends of hydraulic lines have been carefully bagged and zip tied. Call Dave at (775)230-3626 EXPERIENCED CLASS A CDL DRIVERS NEEDED immediately to drive mixer trucks in Yerington, NV. Full time position. Call (775)463-0199

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers/Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Free Estimates, 10+ Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585

BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, snow removal, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629

“A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter65@ gmail.com or (775)530-8932

The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers.

Behavior Modification Re-enforcers

The HMO account manager noticed that nearly every bill from a certain pediatrician’s office included the line item “Behavior modification re-enforcers”.

Alarmed that the pediatrician was engaging in some unapproved, experimental psychological treatment, she called the physician’s office to inquire, “What on earth are behavior modification re-enforcers?” “Lollipops,” was the reply.

MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 40+ years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919 JUNIPER, TREE & STUMP REMOVAL. Aerating & detaching. Lawn Service. Excavating. Sprinkler repair. Earth, Turf & Timber Landscape Maintenance (775)450-1955

Douglas County Democrats

The Douglas County Democrats will celebrate the Grand Reopening of our Minden office on June 24. Join us for a social hour at 6pm. At 7 pm we will hear in person from our speaker, the new Nevada State Democratic Chair, Judith Whitmer. Join us in person or via Zoom at www.douglasdems.org.

HO TRAINS - 1 TRAIN CONTROLLER AND 2 transformers, San Francisco Daylight, Orient Express, Thomas Kinkade Christmas Train, all sorts of track, call Phil (775)721-4726 or (775)265-2734 KENNY AND COLLEEN’S STUMP GRINDING services, K&C stump grinding services, Call (917)362-3181 or (410)739-4052 HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)267-1958 WICKWARE LTD, STEEL CONSTRUCTION, gates, metal building erection, welding and repair of off highway equipment, furnish and install of structural and ornamental steel, anything steel, anywhere in Nevada. Contractor’s License #87042, Insured and bonded. We are local to Northern NV since 1992, 100% Nevada owned, Clean background, Free estimates, Christopher - Ironchris1974@gmail.com or (775)450-6921 RUG, BRAND NEW 6X9 TAN WITH BLUE, GREEN very pretty $85; Turquoise shag rug 5x8 $75 775-720-8177

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Douglas County Republican Women’s...

June 2nd meeting will be held at Valley Christian Fellowship, 1352 Hwy 395, Gardnerville. Our guest speaker is scheduled to be U. S. Congressman Mark Amodei, representing the 2nd District of Nevada. He will be speaking on current events. Doors open at 11:00 a.m. The cost of lunch is $15.00. Reservations to Linda, lrcal1@aol.com. or 775-782-5338.

HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 1950-60’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)291-6827 JAMES THE TECH GUY, IN-HOME services at a fair price, setup TV’s, computers, internet, security cameras, computer lessons (775)515-2316 THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848 RUSSELL’S TREE SERVICE, #1 ARTISTRY IN TREE Care; Shaping, Balancing, Removals, Stump Grinding, Fruit Trees, Hedges, Ornamental Pruning, Serving your area, Licensed/Insured (775)685-0528

Happy Birthday Mom, Love Lisa

Striptease

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob’s hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.

Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left.

He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt. Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath.

With a final flourish, he tears the T- shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.

Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says,”What the heck are you doing, Billy Bob?” “Jeez, Cletus, ya scared the bejeezers out of me,” says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob. “But me’n the Ol’ Lady been havin’ trouble lately in the bedroom d’partment, and the therapist suggested I do ‘something sexy to a tractor’.”

ALL SEASONS - STURDY HANDRAILS, INSIDE - out, large or small, flat or stepped areas, single rail or options available, all metal custom built and installed (775)790-6445 9 FISHING POLES NEW, NEVER USED, VARIOUS sizes and make, can email you list of poles and prices, Ogbfisherman27@gmail.com (775)266-4140

June 21st - First day of Summer

29

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Father’s Day Prayer

Lord, thank you for all fathers. For the new ones, who endure sleepless nights with infants in arms. For the busy ones, who juggle the pressures of home and family life. For the steadfast ones, who nurture and care for our special vulnerable children.

For the patient ones, who always seek to forgive and engage with their pre-teens. For the persistent ones, who cleverly find new ways to connect with their mini-adults. For the father uncles, who step in to cradle and care for nieces and nephews. For all granddads, who love and support their precious grandchildren. For the foster dads that are called to gather and cover the fragile ones. For the Sunday dads who care for our children and lead them in faith. For the dads who give far beyond their own resources, who overcome disability to cherish and love. Thank you Lord for all our beautiful fathers. Help us to support them and keep them in our prayers. May you bless them now on Father’s Day. Amen.

MOUNTAIN DESERT BUILDERS: SPECIALIZING in remodels, one room to the entire home, including decks, windows, doors, siding and trim, Lic.#83159, Call Eamonn (775)781-4753 SUTRO LANDSCAPING, ONE CALL DOES IT all; lawn care, aerating and thatching, sprinkler systems, sod installation and planting, clean-ups and much more, Free Estimates, Operated by owner, NV#50048 (775)246-4871 or (775)2913095

I will miss them

My son and his wife stopped by Sunday unannounced to visit. I wouldn’t answer the door but I did hold up my new medicine container and pointed to the instructions. Instructions read: ‘Take one tablet before bedtime and Keep away from children.’

MOVING SALE! 5 PIECE PATIO SET AND LOUNGE CHAIR $60; wood slat porch bench with wrought iron legs $40; two piece hutch with shelves $100; large square glass top table 38” sides $140, queen mattress with wood headboard/ footboard, rarely used in guest bedroom $140 (775)267-0677 PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081 2004 HONDA CRV, AUTOMATIC 4 WHEEL DRIVE, 156,000 miles, runs excellent $4,500 (775)901-0717 MGM QUARTER SLOT MACHINE, GREAT BANK $1,000; Traeger grill for Dad’s Day? $500, also gets unopened bag of pellets, cover, etc, evenings (775)443-7757 HOT TUB SERVICE, WEEKLY AND BI WEEKLY service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, hot tub cover sales, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)267-2490 “I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.”

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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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