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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE - Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 14+ Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 SMALL BLOCK SALE, JUNE 1ST, 2ND, AND 3RD, 9am-4pm, East Valley to Crockett, up to Tedsen Lane, Gardnerville THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848 SOLID WOOD PRE-ASSEMBLED (IN MERLOT FINISH) Mission twin over twin staircase and flat beds, excellent condition, 8” mattresses, pads, sheets, bedspreads and quilted shams included $500 (775)882-5220 SUTRO LANDSCAPING, ONE CALL DOES IT all; lawn care, aerating and thatching, sprinkler systems, sod installation and planting, clean-ups and much more, Free Estimates, Operated by owner, NV#50048 (775)246-4871 or (775)291-3095
ESTATE SALE MAY 26TH - 28TH 8AM-3PM, 5 BEDS WITH mattresses, new items, antiques, china and more, $1,500 for everything, ½ mile North of Yerington Texaco, Yerington (775)463-5677 ELLA K LADEN, CPA, PC - PROFESSIONAL, personalized Tax and Accounting services. Offices in Gardnerville and Stateline, NV. Contact Ella K Laden CPA or Steve McVicar CPA at (775)588-2555 ELECTRIC BATTERY-OPERATED WHEELCHAIR, Quickie Pulse 6, excellent condition, paid $3,599, asking $2,700 OBO, Dayton (775)737-8905 VOICE AND PIANO LESSONS, BEGINNER to Advanced students, experienced teacher, performer, music degree. Call The Songlady! Carolyn Lancaster (775)7201918 or (775)267-2582 SET OF ALL STEEL MOBILE HOME STEPS, HAS left side railing, 3 steps to top, 38” wide, 36” high $85, Fred (775)241-7526 LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers, Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Small Paint Jobs, Free Estimates, 10 Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Letter from a Challenged Senior
A BAD TILE JOB CAN BE LIKE A BAD HAIRCUT, but it doesn’t grow back, so don’t get hacked! Done right the first time, Sundance Tile and Marble, NV#58795 (775)691-9954 CLEAN OUT THE SHED SALE; OVER 70 items; electrical, plumbing, hardware, garden automotive, appliances, nuts, bolts screws tools, Call for list (775)762-2220 CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWERLY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred. Please leave clear message on this home phone. I return all calls. Call Joanne at (775)465-9422 HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30 years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick –up and delivery; parts in one day! californiafritz.com or (530)6942521 NOW OPEN! TRUE BLISS SKINCARE and Wellness; Facial and Waxing by Shannon. “Free Lip Wax” 1st visit $45. Space rent available, stop by 1528 Hwy. 395 N. Suite #255, Gardnerville or call (714)618-2988
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I sometimes think about the 30-year business I ran with 1,800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great- grandkids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space. That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world. My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag. The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dashboard, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rude person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-calc-ul-ating.” You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Now, when I get really lost, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets. She can usually give me directions, but I’ve noticed she is starting to develop the same tone as ‘Gypsy,’ the GPS lady. At least she loves me! I keep the GPS in a box under my tool bench with the Bluetooth (it’s red) phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore the Bluetooth once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it or I get a little loud. To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t figured out how I can lose three phones all at once. When the phone rings, I have to run around digging under chair cushions, dirty laundry, old newspapers, etc. trying to find a phone to answer. The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden “Paper or Plastic?” every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth re-usable bags to avoid looking confused but never remember to take them in with me. When I do, they fill them so full I can’t carry them! Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, “Paper or Plastic?” I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.” FIREWOOD, SEASONED, SPLIT,ALMOND ONLY $400 a cord, cut to size, under 16”, 16”-18”, 18”-22”, purchased prior to August 30, delivery available, Jon (775)246-7186
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HOLBROOK HIGHLANDS NEIGHBORHOOD Sale, Saturday, June 9th, 8am-3pm; Antiques, Furniture, Tools, Household, Crafts, lots to choose from, Gardnerville Hwy. 395 and 208 G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672 WANTED! SOMEONE TO COME AND FEED MY horses and dogs while we are away, Wellington area (530)370-6807
Caregivers Needed
Join our team of Caregivers and make a difference in the lives of seniors. Provide companionship and bring assisted living into their home. Full-time, part-time, days, nights, 12 hour, and 24 hour shifts available. Retired and mature adults encourage to apply. EOE Apply online eden-homecare.com (775)392-2000 BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND recolored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (775)233- 5297
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
Father’s Day History
Making the Coffee
Father’s Day has a very interesting history embedded in it. The thought for creating a day for children to honor their fathers began in Spokane, Washington. The idea of having a Father’s Day came to the mind of Sonora Smart while listening to a Mother’s Day sermon in 1909. After the death of her mother, she along with her siblings was raised by her father, William Jackson Smart. Sonora wanted to tell her father how special he was and what role he played in her life. She wanted to honor her father’s parental sacrifices that he made for his children. She wanted him to know what courageous, selfless and loving man he was. Since Sonora’s father was born in June, she chose to hold the first Father’s Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the 19th of June in the year 1910.
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.” The husband said, “You are in charge of the cooking around here so you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.” Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides it says in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.” Husband replies, “I can’t believe that! Show me.” So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says, “HEBREWS.”
GROOMER IN TRAINING, CAN DO CERTAIN types of dogs, call to see if yours is one, in Gardnerville, Denise (775)720-1184
CALLING ALL CONTRACTORS. IF YOU OWN a small construction company and are finding it hard to keep up with the bookkeeping, payroll and or taxes we’re your answer. Pro-Balanced Bookkeeping and Tax Service (775)246-3363
PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, faux and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, powerspainting.org or (775)781-5531 or (775)315-5179 SMITH VALLEY IRRIGATION – SERVING NEVADA and Sierra Communities for 40 Years with Ag Irrigation Systems and Parts (775)465-2316
Your brightest self is revealed in your darkest moments. BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Wade House
By Karen Dustman, Woodfords, CA If you’ve ever stopped at Woodfords, you’ve probably noticed the green Wade House -- and probably never gave it a second glance. But this nondescript little house has an amazing claim to fame: it’s the oldest continuously-inhabited dwelling on the whole Eastern Sierra! Long before white settlers ever arrived, of course, Woodfords was a popular gathering spot for local Native Americans. Some of their descendants still live nearby. The original trail up Carson Canyon (today’s Highway 88) was a major Native American trading route, used by local Washo for centuries as they traded obsidian and other goods for acorn on the other side. The original old cabin was built by mill-builder Thomas Knott when he arrived in 1853. Some of the boards in the oldest part of this old house are said to be 18 and 24 inches wide, probably the product of Knott’s early sawmill. Knott sold his cabin that same year to John Cary, moving on to build another mill at Genoa (one for which Knott would never get paid!) Cary, in turn, sold the cabin around 1858 to William Wade and his wife, Clarissa. The Wades had crossed the plains in 1853 by wagon, settling originally near Fredericksburg before moving here to Woodfords in 1858. William found employment as a mill-hand at Cary’s lumber mill. He later served as the local postmaster and became justice of the peace. William’s brother, Orville, came west to join his older brother a few years later, running a store and small hotel here at Woodfords. After nearly twenty happy years, William Wade died in 1877 from a terrible mistake. His son, James, was suffering from a bacterial skin infection known as erysipelas. William came home one day with an open cut on his wrist and, seeing James’ medicine bottle, dabbed a bit of the remedy on the wound with a feather. Within a few days his mistake became all too apparent: the infection spread through his cut into William’s body. Both arms swelled up terribly and gangrene began to set in. Neighbors drove William down to Genoa Hot Springs for treatment, but the doctor there pronounced it too late. The swelling continued to spread to William’s mouth and throat, and he died there at Walley’s from asphyxiation.
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Clarissa, now a widow, continued to live in the old Wade house all alone, taking in boarders to help make ends meet. She passed away there at home in early January, 1890, during one of the severest winters on record. There was no way to bury her in the frozen earth, so townsfolk planted Clarissa’s body temporarily in a snowdrift until the spring thaw set in, when a proper grave could be prepared. Clarissa -- and most likely her husband, William, too -now rest in peace, not far from the old Wade House where they lived so long. You’ll be able to “meet” Clarissa Wade -- one of our Chautauqua characters -- at a free local history walk: “Rediscover Woodfords” on Saturday, June 9, from 10-12! Karen Dustman is a writer in Woodfords, California. Her books on local history are available at www.clairitage.com. PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)2657081 GENEALOGY - THOROUGH RESEARCH OF FAMILY histories. A unique gift for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or yourself! www.PersonalPedigree. com or Lisa (775)450-3175
One Eye Set Higher
My eye doctor told me this, I’m not making this up. He goes, “You know, you have one eye set a little bit higher than your other eye?” “No, I didn’t know that.” He goes, “It’s no big deal; it doesn’t affect your vision or anything. I just thought you might want to be self-conscious for the rest of your life.” HYDRAULIC AND PNEUMATIC AIR CYLINDERS repair and rebuild, log splitters, tractors, farm equipment, dump trucks and trailers, etc. all makes and models. Machining, welding, fabrication, design, reasonable rates! 18 years experience, Ramco Fabrication, Shawn (775)2677358
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com 90 – 6’ T-POSTS, ALL IN BUNDLES OF 5, $5 A BUNDLE; backhoe loader attachment with mounting brackets with reservoir and controls $487; Nordic track Pro, $50 (775)465-1144
FOR V-8 ENGINE PARTS, 1946-1949, MOSTLY NOS, some re-machined, including 10/10 crank racing cam, rods, pistons also 11” clutch, all priced to move, Fred (775)241-7526
CRAFTSMAN CONSTRUCTION LLC, Specializing in Painting, Remodels, Tile, Finish Carpentry, Decks, Home Repairs, Window and Door Replacement, Quality Workmanship with over 28 years experience, free estimates, NV Lic.60315, NVPainting Lic.82727, craftsmanconstruction.com or (775)690-1749
Help Rescue Horses Find Forever Homes!
WNC Motorcycle Rider Course
The motorcycle riding season is almost here. Registration has begun for the Basic Rider Course - $160, the NEW Basic Rider Course II - $85 and the Advanced Rider Course - $85. The BRC II is for rider who have been riding or need to update their skills. This New course is the intermediate course of the three offered at WNC. The BRC II will include an online classroom portion and MUST be completed prior to the in-person class. Check class descriptions, dates, and registration on line at www.campusece.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4423. PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, inside or out, Fences (775)901-1912
LBL Equine Rescue is hosting a Fundraising and Adoption Event on June 10th from 11am to 3pm. Come out for games and prizes, vendors, raffles, and food! 3300 Prospect Avenue Silver Springs, NV. LBL Equine Rescue is participating in the ASPCA Sponsored Help A Horse Day Event for 2018. For more information visit lblequinerescue.org or call (775)350-4822. FRAMED “HONDO” COLLAGE $75; ROBERT (2) Frost framed Wolves 16”x14” $50 each (775)887-0266 RENNER’S TRUE VALUE HARDWARE - FOR ALL YOUR hardware, household, automotive and gardening needs and much more now available online at truevalue. com, ship orders to store for free, call Robert or Megan for details (775)465-2217, press 1 for parts, 2289 Hwy. 208, Smith, NV HANDY HAMILTONS HANDYMAN SERVICES, Experienced Handyman, Quality work at a fair price, Free estimates, Call Mark Hamilton (775)720-9595
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Name the Animals...
The first-grade teacher was showing pictures of animals to her students to see how many they could name. She held up a picture of a lamb, and a little girl said, “That’s a sheep!” “That’s right!” said the teacher. “How about THIS one?” she said, holding up a picture of the king of beasts. “That’s a lion!” answered a little boy. “Right!” said the teacher. Then she held up a picture of a deer. No one volunteered an answer. She tried to help. “What does your mother call your father?” Johnny said, “I know! That’s a lazy old goat!” ANTIQUE HAY FORK – 6 FORKS $600 OBO; Carter Kart side by side seating, $1,700 new, asking $1,000 OBO; Mid 70’s Chevy pickup chrome rear bumper $100 OBO; Hydraulic lift gate, fits pickup or one-ton truck $600 OBO (775)315-0303 PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441 FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)7828776
Berean Bible Church Christ Alone!
Sunday Worship Service 9:30am; Children’s Sunday School provided. Women’s Bible Study – 2nd and 4th Friday 8am; Men Bible Study – Fridays 8am; CoEd Bible Study – Tuesdays 5pm. Call for details (775)782-3931 1516 Hwy. 395, Gardnerville (in the HAAS Center ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $499, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994 4X100, 4 WAY, BOX SPEAKERS $400 OBO; MCS 5-piece stereo, turntable, dual cassette, tuner, equalizer, rock albums, cassettes $250; Surround sound speakers $50 (775)342-9718 “A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter@sbcglobal.net or (775)530-8932 C.F.I. CERTIFIED CARPET, HARDWOOD, VINYL, no charge for furniture. Three-year labor warranty! Residential and Commercial, Competitive pricing, JS Flooring (775)267-4123
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Do You Remember?
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. “What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room. “Why are you down here at this time of night?” The husband looks up, “Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?” he asks solemnly. The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. “Yes, I do,” she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. “Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?” “Yes, I remember,” says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues...”Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years”. “I remember that too”, she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... “I would have gotten out today!”
Risky Burial
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for only $150.” The man thought about it and decided he would just have her shipped home for $5,000. The undertaker asked, “Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?” The man replied, “Long ago a man called Jesus Christ died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead...I just can’t take that chance.” ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174 REDLINE CONSTRUCTION, INC., SPECIALIZING in garages, additions, remodels, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, (775)781-3955 INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX preparation, Federal and all States, prior years, audit representation, 30 years experience, reasonable rates (775)392-0418
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NEW SHARP PORTABLE ROOM AIR CONDITIONER CV2P10SC, 10,500 BTU, cools up to 410 square feet, paid $350, $175 cash firm; used Ashley love seat, left arm, leather burgundy/brown with wood trim, 60”Lx35”Wx34”H $200 firm; Used (2) Lane overstuffed brown leather chairs 31”Lx29”Wx37”H $100 each, Carson City (702)612-1936 PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373
Tahoe Youth and Family Services…
is seeking caring adults to be volunteer Mentors for Douglas County youth. Please contact Dorrie for more information, dorrie@tahoeyouth.org or (775)782-4202 GET FAST INTERNET! UP TO 40 MBPS, WIRELESS! (not satellite, not DSL), Great in rural areas, www.ruralinternet.us or call Patrick (775)297-4777 USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539
PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827 CRAFTSMAN PROFESSIONAL 10” TABLE SAW, USED less than 56 times, Biesemeyer T-Square included, asking price of $450 (775)800-3662 DASILVA’S HAULING/HANDYMAN SERVICES, Cleanup, tree trimming/removal, tractor work, rock and dirt removal, weed pulling, fence repairs, NV#03-19423 (775)230-3436 or (775)354-3328
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Fear of Flying
There was a religious woman who had to do a lot of traveling for her business. Flying made her very nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her. One time, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and smirk and went back to what he was doing. After awhile, he turned to her and asked, “You don’t really believe all that stuff in there do you?” The woman replied, “Of course I do. It is the Bible.” He said, “Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?” She replied, “Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible.” He asked, “Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?” The woman said, “Well, I don’t really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him.” “What if he isn’t in heaven?” the man asked sarcastically. “Then you can ask him,” replied the woman. LICENSED AND BONDED ELECTRICIAN, ADDITIONS, remodels, extra outlets, switches, light fixtures, ceiling fans, trouble shooting and power panel upgrades, etc., 18 years experience, Free Estimates, Senior Discount, Degenspark Electric NV#52647 (775)267-4229
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CUSTOM MASONRY, ONE BRICK AT A TIME, Commercial/Residential, 3+ Better Business Bureau rating, serving Carson Valley 12+ years, Free Estimates, M Sqrd Masonry, NV#200616647 and CA#924187, Marc Duryee (775)450-6219 or (775)783-4753
True
Judge: “Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?” Defendant: “Yes, it’s true.” Judge: “Then, why don’t you just pay him back?” Defendant: “Because it wouldn’t be true anymore.” MARGUERITE FIELDS GHOST/INDIAN SCENES, signed-numbered-framed various sizes $20 to $50 (775)887-0266 LAWN MAINTENANCE, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, HOA, Weekly Lawn Care, Fertilizing, Spring Cleanup, Equal Payment Plans, Package Programs, Licensed and Bonded, 22 Years Serving Carson Valley, Total Lawn & Landscape (775)782-3505 RUSSELL’S TREE SERVICE, SPECIALIZING IN Difficult Trees, Artistry in Tree Care, Stump Grinding, Fruit Trees, Licensed/Insured (775)685-0528
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
How Google Search Works
When you sit down at your computer and do a Google search, you’re almost instantly presented with a list of results from all over the web. How does Google find web pages matching your query, and determine the order of search results? In the simplest terms, you could think of searching the web as looking in a very large book with an impressive index telling you exactly where everything is located. When you perform a Google search, our programs check our index to determine the most relevant search results to be returned (“served”) to you. The three key processes in delivering search results to you are: Crawling, Indexing and Serving Results. Crawling is the process by which Googlebot discovers new and updated pages to be added to the Google index. We use a huge set of computers to fetch (or “crawl”) billions of pages on the web. The program that does the fetching is called Googlebot (also known as a robot, bot, or spider). Googlebot uses an algorithmic process: computer programs determine which sites to crawl, how often, and how many pages to fetch from each site. Google’s crawl process begins with a list of web page URLs, generated from previous crawl processes, and augmented with Sitemap data provided by webmasters. As Googlebot visits each of these websites it detects links on each page and adds them to its list of pages to crawl. New sites, changes to existing sites, and dead links are noted and used to update the Google index. Google doesn’t accept payment to crawl a site more frequently, and we keep the search side of our business separate from our revenue-generating AdWords service. Indexing - Googlebot processes each of the pages it crawls in order to compile a massive index of all the words it sees and their location on each page. In addition, we process information included in key content tags and attributes, such as Title tags and ALT attributes. Googlebot can process many, but not all, content types. For example, we cannot process the content of some rich media files or dynamic pages. Serving results - When a user enters a query, our machines search the index for matching pages and return the results we believe are the most relevant to the user. Relevancy is determined by over 200 factors, one of which is the PageRank for a given page. PageRank is the measure of the importance of a page based on the incoming links from other pages. In simple terms, each link to a page on your site from another site adds to your site’s PageRank. Not all links are equal: Google works hard to improve the user experience by identifying spam links and other practices that negatively impact search results. The best types of links are those that are given based on the quality of your content. In order for your site to rank well in search results pages, it’s important to make sure that Google can crawl and index your site correctly. Our Webmaster Guidelines outline some best practices that can help you avoid common pitfalls and improve your site’s ranking. Continued on following page...
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” In and Out
Once there was a family of skunks who lived in a hollow tree. There were two baby skunks. Their names were In and Out. Now whenever In went out, Out came in, and whenever Out went out, In came in. If In happened to be in and wanted to go out, he would not go out until Out came in. And if Out happened to be in, and wanted to go out, he would not go out until In came in. One day a big storm blew up, and the mother and father skunks were worried about their children. So, they quickly looked around to see whether In was in and Out was out or if Out was in and In was out. Out happened to be in right then. The mother skunk said to Out, “Out, go out and bring In in, please. I’m worried about him.” Out said, “Sure thing, Mama.” So Out went out, and for the very first time Out and In were out at the same time. Just a minute or two later Out came back in, and In came in behind him. For the first time in a long time In and Out were in at the same time. The mother skunk was amazed. “Out, how did you find your brother so quickly?” she asked. “Oh, Mama, it was easy,” Out said. “In stinked!” (If you need a hint, that’s instinct.) RESIDENTIAL CLEANING, LICENSED, BONDED and insured with references, Free estimates, great cleaning, fair prices, Samantha (775)220-4252 Google’s Did you mean and Google Autocomplete features are designed to help users save time by displaying related terms, common misspellings, and popular queries. Like our google.com search results, the keywords used by these features are automatically generated by our web crawlers and search algorithms. We display these predictions only when we think they might save the user time. If a site ranks well for a keyword, it’s because we’ve algorithmically determined that its content is more relevant to the user’s query. (support. google.com)
SUNDANCE SPA SITS 6, OLDER MODEL BUT in great shape - needs filter, gazebo is included $300 (775)887-0266 HARRY’S HAULING; PIANOS, SPAS, SAFES OR anything else, serving the Carson Valley communities (775)291-6648
At the Bar
NEVADA CCW CLASSES $50, EMAIL tacaimnv@gmail or call (775)360-5214
I was sitting at a bar with a friend the other night when he casually pointed across the bar from us and said, “see those two old drunks sitting there...that’s going to be us in ten years.” I looked and him and said, “that’s a mirror stupid!”
D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)6710808
ELECTROLYSIS AND LASER FOR HAIR REMOVAL; Complimentary, confidential consultation. 33 years experience. Weekday, evening, Saturday appointments available, Sally Battista (775)782-6190
JIM BOWIE KNIFE IN WOODEN WINDOW CASE $50; Falkner Jack Knife set - various scenes with display holder $125 (775)887-0266
WEEKLY LAWN CARE, AND AERATION, 14+ years experience, quality service, serving Carson Valley, Carson Valley Lawn Care, Insured (775)230-2546
HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)267-1958
HOT SPOT SX HOT TUB FOR SALE - LIKE NEW, selling for $2,299 OBO, you are responsible for pickup, serious inquiries only (775)267-2152
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June 14th- Flag Day
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Smokey Bear
MAAX WHIRLPOOL BATHTUB, 60”X32”X 24”D, paid $4,000, selling because of health, used four times, asking $1,500 (775)267-1770 GOT WOOD? SAMMY’S FIREWOOD, HONEST Quality Service, soft and hard wood, delivery available, located in Carson City (775)315-0834 POOL TABLE OAK (EXCELLENT CONDITION) playing surface 45”x89” (Bar Table – Coin-Operated) $800 OBO, Scott (775)265-7525 GOT DIRTY WINDOWS? ABC WINDOW CLEANERS, gutter and roof cleaning, rescreening, pressure washing, 30 years experience, NV#20161064184, CA#310507, Gardnerville resident (530)544-0590 YARD ENHANCEMENT HANDYMAN, SERVICES, fence repair/rebuild, tree and brush trim/removal, defensible space improvement, clean-up, hauling, dump runs, Kelly/Gardnerville (209)352-0084 TAKE CARE OF YOUR LOVED ONES. WILLS and Trusts. Day R. Williams, Attorney at Law, 1601 Fairview Drive, Suite C., Carson City, NV. Call Day today! (775)885-8398
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The history and career of Smokey the Bear Smokey Bear came to us by necessity. At the beginning of World War II, Americans feared that an enemy attack or sabotage could destroy our forest resources at a time when wood products were greatly needed. In the spring of 1942, a Japanese submarine fired shells onto an oil field in Southern California near Los Padres National Forest. Government officials were relieved that the shelling did not start a forest fire but were determined to provide protection. The USDA Forest Service organized the Cooperative Forest Fire Prevention (CFFP) Program in 1942. It encouraged citizens nationwide to make a personal effort to prevent forest fires. It was a mobilized civilian effort in support of the war effort to protect valuable trees. Timber was a primary commodity for battleships, gunstocks, and packing crates for military transport. Character Development - Walt Disney’s “Bambi” character was very popular and was used on an initial anti-fire poster. The success of this poster demonstrated that an animal of the forest was the best messenger to promote the prevention of accidental forest fires. On August 2, 1944, the Forest Service and the War Advertising Council introduced a bear as their campaign symbol. Albert Staehle, noted illustrator of animals, worked with this description to paint the forest fire prevention bear. His art appeared in the 1945 campaign, and the advertising symbol was given the name “Smokey Bear.” The bear was named “Smokey” after “Smokey” Joe Martin, who was Assistant Chief of the New York City Fire Department from 1919 to 1930. Rudy Wendelin, an artist for the Forest Service, began producing a tremendous quantity of Smokey Bear art in various media for special events, publications, and licensed products to promote the fire prevention symbol. Long after retiring, he created the art for the Smokey Bear’s 40th anniversary commemorative U.S. Postage stamp. Many within the Forest Service still acknowledge Wendelin as being the true “Smokey Bear artist.” After World War II, the War Advertising Council changed its name to The Advertising Council. In the years that followed, the focus of Smokey’s campaign broadened to appeal to children as well as adults. But it was not until the 1965 campaign and the work of Smokey artist Chuck Kuderna that Smokey’s image evolved into the one we know today. The Smokey Bear concept has matured into a cottage industry of collectibles and educational material on fire prevention. One of the most popular Smokey products is a set of posters known as his educational poster collection. The Real Smokey Bear - Smokey Bear’s living history began early in 1950 when a burned cub survived a fire in the Lincoln National Forest near Capitan, New Mexico. Because this bear survived a terrible forest fire and won the love and imagination of the American public, many people mistakenly believe the cub was the original Smokey Bear but, in reality, he did not come along until the advertising symbol was almost six years old.
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After being nursed back to health, Smokey came to live at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. as a living counterpart to the CFFP Program’s fire prevention symbol.Over the years, thousands of people from around the world came to see Smokey Bear at the National Zoo. A mate, Goldie, was introduced with the hope a young Smokey would continue the tradition of the famous living symbol. These efforts failed and an adopted son was sent to the zoo so the aged bear could retire on May 2, 1975. After years of popularity, the original Smokey died in 1976. His remains were returned to Capitan and rest beneath a stone marker in Smokey Bear Historical State Park. For more than 15 years, the adopted Smokey carried on as the living symbol, but in 1990, when the second Smokey Bear died, the living symbol was laid to rest.
Flying Pig Flea Market
Our next dates will be June 9th, 8am-4pm, June 10th, 9am4pm, Fuji Park Building, Carson City. Be a vendor. Come to browse, for information call (775)882-4717 or (775)3150008 1957 DODGE POWER WAGON STEP SIDE DUALLY, 4x4 $5,000 OBO; 1974 28’ Titan Motorhome $1,500 OBO; Miller generator AC welder $1,500 OBO (775)790-4953 “YOUR HOMETOWN HAULER SINCE 1996!” J.R.’s Hauling, Junk and Trash, Carson Valley/Carson City, $139 a load plus dump fee, (775)265-6813
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Rubber on the End
A husband and a wife are waiting at the bus stop, and with them are their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find that it is overloaded and only the wife and nine kids are able to fit in the bus. So, the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk and says to him, “Why don’t you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick, that sound is driving me nuts!” The blind man replies, “If you would’ve put rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we’d be riding the bus, so keep quiet!” ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)721-2880 RENT ME FOR SPRING CLEANING, PUT A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove (775)2972320 ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, all water sports, furnished cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at eaglelakeheritage.com or (800)459-5179
Flea for Your Life
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his life and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.” His son asked, “But what happened to the flea?” MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627 MP-5 CO-2 SUBMACHINE GUN, 40 ROUND MAGAZINE N.I.B. $50; MP-40 Submachine Gun C0-2 60 Round, Full Auto N.I.B. $80, also have pistol, Call Pete (775)297-2811 JOB HUNTING? CHANGING CAREERS? SEEKING a promotion? Re-entering the job market? Beat the competition with a professional resume created by The Resume Business (775)267-2711 $69 SERVICE CALL, ACADEMY APPLIANCE Service; washers, dryers, refrigerators, ranges, dishwashers, compactors, some areas extra charge, Serving Carson Valley (775)781-4725
June 17th- Happy Father’s Day! 22
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Inventor of Disposable Diapers
Born in Fort Wayne, Indiana in 1917, Marion Donovan was instilled with an inventive spirit at a young age. She spent the greater part of her childhood hanging around the manufacturing plant run by her father and uncle, two men who combined to invent, among other things, an industrial lathe for grinding automobile gears and gun barrels. Years later, as a post-World War II housewife and mother of two in Connecticut, Donovan would make good use of the ingenuity that she had observed in her youth. Frustrated by the thankless, repetitive task of changing her youngest child’s soiled cloth diapers, bed sheets and clothing, she decided to craft a diaper cover to keep her baby – and the surrounding area – dry. Donovan sat down at her sewing machine with a shower curtain and, after several attempts, she completed a waterproof diaper cover. Unlike the rubber baby pants that were already on the market, Donovan’s design did not cause diaper rash and did not pinch the child’s skin. The soon-to-be famous female inventor subsequently perfected her invention, adding snap fasteners in place of the dangerous safety pins that were commonly used. Donovan named her diaper cover the “Boater” and explained that “at the time I thought that it looked like a boat.” When no manufacturers would even consider her invention, Donovan struck out on her own, and the Boater was an unqualified success from the day it debuted at Saks Fifth Avenue in 1949. Donovan received a patent in 1951 and promptly
sold the rights to Keko Corporation. Her next project was a fully disposable diaper, for which she had to fashion a special type of paper that was not only strong and absorbent, but also conveyed water away from the baby’s skin. Donovan took her finished product to every large manufacturer in the country, but once again she found no takers. Incredulously, everyone she talked to told her that the idea was superfluous and impractical. It was not until nearly a decade later, in 1961, that Victor Mills drew upon Donovan’s vision to create Pampers®. In keeping with her innovative heritage, this “mother of invention” explored numerous ventures that were completely unrelated to her diaper improvements. She earned a total of 20 patents in her lifetime and also received an Architecture degree from Yale University in 1958. Although Donovan’s extraordinary life may go largely unnoticed by the public, this famous woman inventor deserves the undying gratitude of new parents around the globe. Food for thought - Experts say that a baby requires somewhere around 10 to 12 diapers per day for the first few months of his or her birth. As they get older, they use less. So, here is a basic calculation: 8 to 10 diapers a day x 365 days a year = 3,650 to 4,380 diapers for the 1st year. LARRY’S TRACTOR SERVICE, CLEANUP WORK, rototilling, backhoe, box scraper, dump trailer, rake, hole drilling, affordable rates (775)267-2245 or (775)690-4632
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Paid in Full
In the Army!
Two soldiers were having a chat during their free time. The first soldier asked the second, “Why did you join the Army?” The second soldier replied, “I didn’t have a wife and I loved war -- so I joined. Why did you join the Army?” To which the first soldier answered, “I had a wife and I loved peace. So, I joined.” 1998 HARLEY DAVIDSON ROAD KING, LOW miles, very good condition, $7,500, Rusty (775)265-1365 HIGH ROLLERS PAINTING FOR ALL YOUR PAINTING needs! Competitive rates and quality workmanship, bonded and insured, NV#44048, highrollerspainting.net or (775)267-2534 PIANO AND ORGAN PRIVATE INSTRUCTIONS, Member of Sierra Organ Club, Call Joanne Booth in Sunridge, Carson City (775)267-2429 CARIBOU 1994 TRUCK CAMPER LONG BED, all appliances work well, inside clean and good condition, outside fair, sleeps 4-5, $1,500 OBO, Yerington (775)315-6540 HOT TUB SERVICE AND REPAIR, WEEKLY and bi weekly service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)267-2490
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After living what I felt was a “decent” life, my time on earth came to the end. The first thing I remember is sitting on a bench in the waiting room of what I thought to be a court house. The doors opened, and I was instructed to come in and have a seat by the defense table. As I looked around, I saw the “prosecutor.” He was a villainous looking gent who snarled as he stared at me. He definitely was the most evil person I have ever seen. I sat down and looked to my left and there sat My Attorney, a kind and gentle looking man whose appearance seemed so familiar to me; I felt I knew Him. The corner door flew open and there appeared the Judge in full flowing robes. He commanded an awesome presence as He moved across the room. I couldn’t take my eyes off of Him. As He took His seat behind the bench, He said, “Let us begin.” The prosecutor rose and said, “My name is Satan, and I am here to show you why this man belongs in hell.” He proceeded to tell of lies that I told, things that I stole, and times when I cheated others. Satan told of other horrible perversions that were once in my life, and the more he spoke, the further down in my seat I sank. I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t look at anyone, even my own Attorney, as the Devil told of sins that even I had completely forgotten about. As upset as I was at Satan for telling all these things about me, I was equally upset at My Attorney who sat there silently not offering any form of defense at all. I know I had been guilty of those things, but I had done some good in my life - couldn’t that at least equal out part of the harm I’d done? Satan finished with a fury and said, “This man belongs in hell, he is guilty of all that I have charged, and there is not a person who can prove otherwise.” When it was His turn, My Attorney first asked if He might approach the bench. The Judge allowed this over the strong objection of Satan and beckoned Him to come forward. As He got up and started walking, I was able to see Him in His full splendor and majesty. I realized why He seemed so familiar; this was Jesus representing me, my Lord and my Savior. He stopped at the bench and softly said to the Judge, “Hi, Dad,” and then He turned to address the court. “Satan was correct in saying that this man had sinned. I won’t deny any of these allegations. And, yes, the wage of sin is death, and this man deserves to be punished.” Jesus took a deep breath and turned to His Father with outstretched arms and proclaimed, “However, I died on the cross so that this person might have eternal life, and he has accepted Me as his Savior, so he is Mine.” My Lord continued with, “His name is written in the book of life and no one can snatch him from Me. Satan still does not understand yet. This man is not to be given justice but rather mercy.” As Jesus sat down, He quietly paused, looked at His Father and said, “There is nothing else that needs to be done. I’ve done it all.” The Judge lifted His mighty hand and slammed the gavel down. The following words bellowed from His lips... “This man is free. The penalty for him has already been paid in full.
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Case dismissed.” As my Lord led me away, I could hear Satan ranting and raving, “I won’t give up, I will win the next one.” I asked Jesus as He gave me my instructions where to go next, “Have you ever lost a case?” Christ lovingly smiled and said, “Everyone that has come to Me and asked Me to represent them has received the same verdict as you, “PAID IN FULL.” 2 WHITE DRESSERS, 9 DRAWER, 6’ LONG with mirror $75; 5 drawer, 44” high $50; 6’ soft colors couch with 3 pillow back $100 OBO; round glass top chrome table $50, 1959 White sewing machine in cabinet $40 (775)2673316 MASTER HOROLOGIST, CLOCK REPAIR, MUSEUM Quality Furniture, Chair Caning and Antique Everything Restoration, Grandfather Clock House Calls! A-1 Restorations since 1967, Larry (775)781-1616 JAMES A. FARNHAM, EA, TAX PREPARATION, Federal and State, prior years and other representation, 20 years experience, reasonable rates (775)392-0321 TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, clipper blades, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079
Pearly Gates
A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. “Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked. “Well, I can think of one thing,” the man offered. “On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.” I yelled, “Now, back off!! Or you’ll answer to me!” St. Peter was impressed: “When did this happen?” “Just a couple of minutes ago.” CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Joanne, please leave clear message (775)465-9422 HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 21 years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Blind Pilots
Passengers on a small plane are waiting for the flight to leave. They’re getting a little impatient, but the airport staff assures them the pilots will be there soon, and then the flight can take off. Finally, the entrance opens, and two men dressed in Pilots’ uniforms walk up the aisle. Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a white cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and the people sitting in the window seats realize they’re headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory. As it begins to look as though the plane will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane really is in good hands. Meanwhile, in the cockpit, the pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, “You know, Jim one of these days, they’re gonna scream too late and we’re all gonna die.”
Come Join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church
QUALITY HOME MAINTENANCE AND IMPROVEMENTS, prompt, honest and reliable, fair pricing, all work guaranteed, call for free estimate and visit! Frank (775)309-7299
Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 5pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)2679590
MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501
HANDYMAN SERVICE – HOME REPAIRS, FENCING Repair/Replacement, Hauling, Trash Removal, Shrub and Tree Trimming and Removal, and Weed Removal, Free Estimates (775)781-1747
MAINTENANCE FREE DECKS AND PATIO COVERS, knowledgeable, honest, professional service! Serving Northern Nevada for 18+ years! Free Quotes! K & C Construction, NV#0079034 (775)691-6462
WE’LL KEEP YOU IN STITCHES, WE COVER autos, furniture and ATV’s, 47 years experience, Tweeds Upholstery, Gardnerville, tweedsupholstery@yahoo.com or (775)782-5812
LET’S BARTER! I WILL PAINT YOUR HOUSE inside and out and your barns and garages, etc. for a livable pull behind trailer; I will furnish the paint, Tom the Painter (713)344-3726 or (775)400-0720
FOR SALE ANTIQUE VICTROLA RECORD player $400 OBO; Jewelers Buffer $300 (775)315-0303
CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! REPAIR, RE-STITCH, Replace; Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Spa Sun Covers and Patio Shade; Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/Minden (775)267-4434 or (775)230-8706
COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, davenportlandscape.com or (775)265-1491 or (775)721-8439
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HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/ INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)691-5119
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” I’m Fine
Dogs Allowed
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote: “I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?” An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, “I’ve been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I’ve never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I’ve never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I’ve never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you’re welcome to stay here, too.” PANTERA – 3 FRAMED PICTURES, 2 BOOKS $150 all; 3 framed Duck Conservative Prints, signed $250 all; 2 acoustic guitars, cases $75 OBO (775)342-9718 All political/campaign ads are paid for by the candidates! GREG’S SMALL ENGINE SERVICE AND REPAIR! Lawn Mowers, Snow Blowers, Portable Generators; On Site Pick-Up and Delivery, Serving Carson City, Carson Valley, Dayton - gregtenbroeck@yahoo.com or visit us at gregsmallengine.com (775)790-0435 or (530)307-1132
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Farmer Brown decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Brown. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’?” asked the lawyer. Farmer Brown responded, “Well I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the...” “I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted, “just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’!” Farmer Brown said, “Well I had just gotten Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...” The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.” By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Brown’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule Bessie.” Brown thanked the Judge and proceeded, “Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side.” He continued, “I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.” “Shortly after the accident a highway patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me.” Finally, farmer Brown came to the end of the story. “The patrolman looked at me and said, ‘Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are YOU feeling’?” MKD CONSTRUCTION, GENERAL ENGINEERING, concrete structures, concrete flat work, grading, roadway improvements, drainage, storm drains, underground utilities (water and sewer), paving, fencing, barrier rail, environmental improvements, commercial and residential snow removal, excellent reputation and references available, NV#50061 and CA#818376, Mike (775)246-1900 or (775)315-2416 PFAFF SEWING/QUILTING MACHINE PURCHASED 2011, includes manuals and all accessories, over 200 stitches, free motion capability and 10” throat $899 OBO, Gardnerville (650)592-0944
HELP WANTED! Visit sierrascoop.com/jobs
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Did You Hear About...
the jailed dude who was found in his cell with half a dozen bumps on his head? He tried to hang himself with a bungee cord. JOURNEYMAN PAINTER (INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR), handyman, landscape design and installation, pool and pond maintenance, 30 years of experience, Highly competitive quotes, Senior discounts, Call Robert at (775)508-8404 PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065 JR POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE AND REPAIR, ALL makes, models and years; Quads, OHV, Dirt and Street Bikes; from tune up to full rebuild. 35 years experience! Dayton, jrpowersports.com or (775)241-2530 WANTED: LICENSE PLATES AND FRAMES, WANTED: Musical instruments, Wanted: Motorcycle helmets 1940-1980, John (775)315-4930 WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192
Job Interview
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking for?” The engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?” The engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?” And the interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.” 40 BALES OF ORCHARD GRASS, LAST YEARS second cut, stored in the barn on pallets, very very clean hay, Call Gary (775)783-0490 LANDSCAPE AND MAINTENANCE CREW MEMBERS needed for the Carson Valley area, full time positions, Total Lawn & Landscape, Rodger (775)691-5966 DOING NEVADA HISTORY STUDY! I NEED OLD Nevada phone books, postcards, matchbooks and other items, will travel and pay cash, Call Terrence (775)7823904
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Conversation with a Lawyer
A Polish man moved to the United States and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - “very quick.” The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: Lawyer: “Have you any grounds?” Man: “JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home.” Lawyer: “No,” I mean what is the foundation of this case?” Man: “It made of concrete.” Lawyer: “Does either of you have a real grudge?” Man: “No, we have carport, and not need one.” Lawyer: “I mean, what are your relations like?” Man: “All my relations still in Poland.” Lawyer: “Is there any infidelity in your marriage?” Man: “Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player.” Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?” Man: “No, I always up before her.” Lawyer: “WHY do you want this divorce?” Man: “She going to kill me.” Lawyer: “What makes you think that?” Man: “I got proof.” Lawyer: “What kind of proof?” Man: “She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says ‘Polish Remover.’” WILL FEED YOUR HORSES AND DOGS WHILE you are away, Serving Carson Valley, Call Dolores (775)2242860 The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers. 2006 SILVER HONDA AERO MOTORCYCLE, PRIME CONDITION, powerful, 750cc water cooled, lights, bag, shield, low seating, 6,400 miles $4,200 OBO, Minden (760)920-2151 HANDYMAN FOR ALL YOUR OUTSIDE NEEDS, yard cleanup, power wash, fence repair, minor jobs, free estimates, NV#11376PC (775)246-9899
Remain Independent – Remain at Home
The “little things” may become increasingly difficult as we age, but this doesn’t mean it’s time to surrender. We provide affordable, non-medical assistance for seniors at home. Light housekeeping, meal prep, bathing/grooming, companionship, family relief, and incidental transportation to appointments. A few hours to 24/7 care. Eden Home Care, eden-health.com (775)392-2000
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Toys R Us
WNC Community Education
Charles P. Lazarus (October 4, 1923 –March 22, 2018) founded Children’s Supermart (which would evolve into Toys “R” Us) in Washington, D.C., during the post-war baby boom era in 1948 as a baby-furniture retailer. Its first location was at 2461 18th St. NW, where the nightclub Madam’s Organ Blues Bar is located. Lazarus began receiving requests from customers for baby toys. After adding baby toys, he got requests for toys for older children. The focus of the store changed in 1957, and Toys “R” Us was born in Rockville, Maryland. It was acquired in 1966 by Interstate Department Stores, Inc., owner of the White Front, Topps Chains and Children’s Bargain Town USA, a toy-store chain related to Toys “R” Us in the American Midwest that would later be combined with the rest of the Toys “R” Us chain. The original Toys “R” Us store design from 1969 to 1989 consisted of vertical rainbow stripes and a brown roof with a front entrance and side exit. Geoffrey the Giraffe - Formerly known as “Dr. G. Raffe” in 1950s print advertisements for Children’s Bargaintown, Geoffrey the Giraffe evolved in name and appearance over the next decade to become the official mascot of the renamed Toys “R” Us. Serving as a “spokes animal” for the brand, Geoffrey’s design went through several phases over the next 50+ years before the current star-spotted iteration was finalized in 2007. In 2017, the company sponsored the live camera broadcast for April the Giraffe, which helped support giraffe conservation and awareness. The sponsored camera of pregnant April the giraffe went viral with millions of views on YouTube and across social media platforms. (Wikipedia)
Classes begin soon: R.I.P.P.E.D. great exercise class; Clay Club; Computer Basics; and HAM Radio. To view the dates, times, class descriptions/fees, and or to register for these classes go to www.campusce.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4423
HOUSE FOR RENT, 1 OR 2 PEOPLE, FURNISHED or not, utilities and ground maintenance included, lease terms and price negotiable, East Valley, Minden (775)7810841
MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 35 years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919
BEAR CLAW 40” ROUND TABLE WITH 4 chairs $125; medium size Igloo dog house $25; Hoover carpet cleaner used once $50 775-294-5779
SCI GRADING EXCAVATING ROAD WORK, house pads, drainage and erosion control, septic systems and pumping, wet and dry utilities, demolition, water and dump truck service, Erik Viksna NV#076958, CA#954210, (530)306-2647 or (775)629-9000 ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)265-4766 8’ CLEAN BEIGE COUCH $65; MISCELLANEOUScamping equipment; Tyson Grill Rotisserie $20; Pneumatic log splitter $90; electric roaster $15, miscellaneous (775)266-3435
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PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free. AFFORDABLE LAB TEST - CBC, THYROID, HORMONES, Cholesterol, Testosterone and more! No Insurance. For appointment call Millennium Medical (775)7831127
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11th Annual Laps for YAPS
The eleventh annual Laps for YAPS is Saturday, June 9, 2018 at the Cottonwood Ranch in Yerington, Nevada. The Cottonwood Ranch has a big shady lawn where the event administration, raffle, dog races, lunch, etc. all take place. This makes the event great for spectators. It’s a great fun day for everyone – including the dog. For the serious folks there are 5K and 10 K Races. For the rest of us there is a 2-mile Fun Walk With (or Without) Your Dog that includes a shady section along the Walker River. There is also a ½ mile Kids’ Race for the younger set. The Small Dog Races are back again this year! These are great fun to watch! Divisions by size help give each dog a real chance to win. Local businesses provide a range of great items for a big raffle which is administered in such a way that you never end up with a prize you did not really want! After the race, Round Table Pizza of Yerington is providing lunch. YAPS (Yerington Animal Protection Society) is a 501.3.c non-profit organization dedicated to addressing the problem of unwanted pets in Smith and Mason Valleys by means of low cost spay/neuter programs. Please check the website www.yapspay.org for further details or call (916)995-1104. MOBILE NOTARY, SERVING CARSON CITY, Minden, Gardnerville, Weekends Available, $25 and up, Call/ Text Joann (775)400-6029
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HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK RESURFACING and repair, interior doors, windows and interior/ exterior trim, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235 WANTED: KNIVES – FOLDING, HUNTING; MILITARY, New or used, any quantity. Wanted: Tobacco Pipes – Used or new, any quantity Jeff (775)720-2577 HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 195060’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)2916827
Long-Haired David
After getting his driving license, David visited home during vacation and asked his dad for the family car. His dad agreed, but put forwarded three conditions - good grades in school, a neat room and a decent haircut. After several months, David came home again. He had followed the three things that he had promised his dad, except getting his hair cut. When the father saw that his son had disobeyed him, he asked for an explanation. David smartly said, “Hey Dad, even Jesus had long hair.” His Father was not someone to be taken for a ride and smilingly replied, “Yes, son, you’re absolutely right. And Jesus also walked everywhere he went.”
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FREE BROTHER LC41 INK CARTRIDGES left over from a Brother printer 775-782-3653 HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANELE! DAD!
LOVE MOM AND
Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, (775)782-4520
MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 34 YEARS experience! Serving Carson Valley and surrounding areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351 SEW-WHAT UPHOLSTERY, CUSTOM work, leather and antiques, 40+ years experience, Carson Valley, Leslie (775)901-2035 THE CHICKS HAVE ARRIVED AT BENSON FEED; we also carry wood stove pellets, Pacific Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, Carson City (775)882-3999
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Our Pride, Our Flag
By Roger W Hancock The American Flag means much to all, opportunity for some, to better their lot. Life in freedom the dream to live out, ponder the Red, White and Blue. Sacrifice of blood the seed of liberty, responsibility to all to keep the treasure. Fight or vote your duty is sure. Pay tribute to the Red, White and Blue. Bravery in sacrifice displayed by red, purity of liberty, shown in white. Justice for all within the blue. Freedom colors; Red, White and Blue. One star now for each of fifty states, First thirteen states one stripe for each. Unity in diversity is our union’s strength. Power shown in the Red, White and Blue. The union of white stars on blue, when flag displayed, is on the left. Red, white stripes stretching right. Display it right the Red, White and Blue. As we read from left to right, display the flag to prominent left. When on the platform it’s to your right. Salute with pride the Red, White and Blue. The American Flag the pride of all, of conservative right to liberal left. Consider freedom, consider truth, do it proud for the Red, White and Blue. NEW FISHER GOLD BUG PRO METAL detector; insulated case, headphones, batteries, $750, also sluice, pans, screens, tools, etc. 702-902-8902
Happy June Birthdays!
A birthday is one of the most important days of the yearmay yours be filled with the light of living and the brightness of laughter. And remember - Candles are like little friends on your birthday cake. The more, the merrier. Happy Birthday! LIVING WATER IS THE CLEANING SERVICE you can depend on, Residential and Commercial, etc., NV License #06-22437 Angelina (775)229-3178 A flower blooming in the desert has greater strength than a tree flourishing in a rain forest. HANDYMAN, EXPERIENCED IN MOST HOME Improvements or Repairs, Quality Workmanship, Insured, NV#20101037419 (775)781-5531 or (775)315-5179 LOWERY MX2 ORGAN, MODEL NT 400X, bench and three genius cards, dark Oak, excellent condition $1,750 775-883-0802 CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: All types including Silver, Copper, Rhinestones, Old Plastics, Glass, Pot Metal, Pins, Bracelets, Rings, Necklaces, Old Watches, Lockets, larger quantities preferred, please leave clear message on home phone, I call everyone back, Joanne (775)465-9422
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$200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461 FOR SALE, PRIMARY UNDERGROUND WATER rights in Lyon County, 20 acre feet, $5,000 per acre, firm (no dividing) (775)315-6764 SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two-story houses, based in Minden area, call John (775)267-1800 SAFES $35-$900, CHAIN SAWS, NEED CLEANING $10; Campbell’s Soup collectibles, ammunition cans $5$20; desk $25 (775)266-3435 GRASS-FED BEEF, ALL LOCALLY GROWN, $4.25 per pound hanging weight, works out to about $6 per pound cut and wrapped (775)721-1574 POLARIS 570 RANGER, THREE PASSENGER ATV, very low miles, many extras including cover and trailer, asking $10,000 for everything, (775)241-2401 A.O. SMITH 100 GALLON 75,000 BTU NATURAL gas water heater $700 OBO, Genoa (303)748-0789
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