June 2016 Scoop Magazine

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 14 Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 FOUR ASH HARDWOOD COUNTER HEIGHT bar stools, (seat 24 inches from floor), excellent condition, Honey oak stain $100 OBO (775)392-2183 JOHN DEERE AND NEW HOLLAND TRACTORS and Mowers, Visit us at www.rennerequipment.com or call for prices (775)465-2217 2012 TRIUMPH TIGER MOTORCYCLE, 800CC, 11,000 miles, many extras, Dealer maintained $7,300, Dick (775)265-3177 HANDYMAN, EXPERIENCED IN MOST HOME Improvements or Repairs, Quality Workmanship, Insured, NV#20101037419 (775)781-5531 or (775)3155179 GOURDS GALORE FOR CRAFTING, SMALL, medium and large, $30 takes all (775)265-5891

ONE HOUR SIGNATURE FACE LIFT FACIAL, 1-hour aroma balance treatment, June special only $55 per service, gift certificates available. Located behind Bank of America, Minden, Massage/Jennifer (775)291-1286, Facial/Karla (775)315-0673 SINGER COMPUTERIZED SEWING MACHINE, like new with large cabinet, paid over $1,700, asking $500, Gardnerville (775)513-7744 MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, CURBING, Granite and Concrete, All Colors Available, Quality Work (775)720-1627 2012 SUZUKI V-STROM MOTORCYCLE, 1000CC, center stand, fairing guards, 3,500 miles, garaged, one owner $6,900, Dick (775)265-3177 GENEALOGY - THOROUGH RESEARCH OF FAMILY histories. A unique gift for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or yourself! www.PersonalPedigree.com or Lisa (775)450-3175 SMITH AND WESSON, 500SMW MAGNUM, 5 SHOT, 4� barrel, stainless revolver $1,300, CCW or background check required (775)265-3906

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” An Unexpected Lesson in Life

East Fork Gallery…

in the Record Courier Center (Gardnerville) represents 40+ artists, art, photography, jewelry and cards. MondaySaturday, 10am-5pm (775)782-7629 GOT DIRTY WINDOWS? ABC WINDOW CLEANERS, Mirrors, Gutters, Re-screening, Pressure Washing, 30 Years Experience, Serving Gardnerville Area, NV#20161064184, CA#310507 (530)544-0590 KAYAK, MADE BY WILDERNESS SYSTEMS, model Tsunami 140, 14’ long, red in color, includes steering rudder, cockpit cover, mini skirt, paddle and water pump $925 (775)265-5961 MARY’S CAT CARE, I CLEAN CAT BOXES, FEED cats, take cats to the vet, whatever cat care you desire, Flexible daily/weekly rates, Gardnerville (775)7826131 BENCH DRILL PRESS, 16 SPEED, HEAVY DUTY $100; Ryobi plunge router mounted to table $100; Side Kick trim saw for cutting crown molding, etc. $100; 10” portable auto planer $100; 24-piece carbide router bits in case $75; 7” wet cutting tile and granite table saw with extra blades $75 (775)265-5961

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I met an old man today while waiting for my prescription at the pharmacy. He was huffing and puffing, tired from pushing his walker around the store. So he took a seat in the chair next to me, almost taking me out with his elbows as he sat down laboriously. I was already irritated. I have an ear infection, and the pain can be excruciating if you’ve ever had one, so the last thing I wanted to do was listen. But, whether I wanted to listen or not, this man decided to talk to me anyway. He told me he wasn’t getting a prescription today, but that he simply wanted to sit down while his wife finished shopping because he was old and tired. He asked what was wrong with me. “Ear infection,” I said. Then he asked if I was married. I told him no, that I was actually far from it and finally happy being single for the time being. “Bachelor for life, eh?” I told him no, that I do plan on getting married at some point. “Good for you!” he said, and then he told me that he’s been married for almost 60 years. He was 29 when he got married, but when he knew, he knew, he said. “You’ve got to wait for the right woman. We were so happy,” he says. “’Course, over the years I went blind and lost my health, so she has to do all the driving and take care of me. She’s gotten a bit grumpier since those early days, and it’s tough being old and falling apart, but we still love each other. You know, I have 18 grandkids. Can’t even keep up with their birthdays every few weeks.” And you could tell this man was genuinely happy. Through all the prescriptions, blindness, crazy family and old age, he and his wife have made it work and they still take trips to the grocery store together to shop. He has to forced himself to walk around that store, but he does it because he loves being with her. That’s the stuff I’m waiting for. I want to crawl into my grave with no legs, blind as a bat and happy as a lark that I fell in love with the right woman and we created a beautiful, healthy family together. “Mr. Garramone?” the pharmacist called out. I stood to get my prescription, which took a few minutes due to an insurance issue, and when I turned around he was gone. Since I didn’t get the chance: thank you, old man, for being one of my angels and showing me that it’s okay to wait. And that it’s important to listen. Even when you only have one good ear to do so. PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, Inside or Out, Fences (775)901-1912

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WNC Motorcycle Rider Course

Motorcycle season is upon us. Learn to ride a motorcycle in 2½ days. WNC uses the Motorcycle Safety Foundation curriculum and teaches the Basic Rider Course (BRC) and the Advanced Rider Course (ARC). The BRC is geared towards new riders and those with experience who need/want a refresher course. The BRC is offered every weekend from April through the 1st weekend of November, excluding legal holiday weekends. WNC provides the training motorcycle 250 CC and a helmet. Cost $160. The ARC is a one-day class held on a Saturday once a month. Students must hold a Class M endorsement, bring their street legal, insured and registered motorcycle and be dressed to ride. The ARC class is an excellent class for riders – learn smother throttle control, risk management, better tire traction, leaning and riding in pairs. Enjoy the feeling of riding a motorcycle while enjoying the open road and lovely weather. Check class descriptions, dates, cost and registration on line at www. campusece.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4268 ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, All Water Sports, Furnished Cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at eaglelakeheritage.com or (800)459-5179

FIREWOOD, ALMOND, CHERRY AND WALNUT, mixed, seasoned, split, $380 a cord, Almond only $425 a cord, delivery available, Jon (775)246-7186

Senior Discount

An elderly couple returns to a Mercedes dealership to find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful young blonde. “I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $75,000 asking price,” said the man. “Yet I just heard you closed the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady there. You insisted there could be no discount on this model.” “Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, and just look at her, how could I resist?” replied the grinning salesman. Just then the young woman approached the old folks and handed them the keys. “There you go,” she said. “I told you I could get this joker to drop the price. See you later, Grandpa.” Never mess with the elderly! BUY DIRECT! DECORATIVE ROCK, SAND, GRAVEL, D.G., Topsoil, Bark and Boulders, yard pick-up or delivery, Cinderlite, Serving all of Northern Nevada, Cinderlite.com or (775)882-4483

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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Aphorisms

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1. The nicest thing about the future is . . . it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine dog . . . but only kindness will make him wag his tail. 3. If you don’t have a sense of humor . . . you probably don’t have any sense at all. 4. Seat belts are not as confining . . . as wheelchairs. 5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is . . . when you’re in deep water. 6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark. . . to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night? 7. Business conventions are important . . . because they demonstrate how many (Top Management Executive) people a company can operate without. 8. Why is it that at class reunions . . . you feel younger than everyone else looks? 9. Scratch a cat (or dog) . . . and you will have a permanent job! 10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenager . . . who wants to buy a car. 11. There are no new sins . . . the old ones just get more publicity. 12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4am . . . like, it could be the right number. 13. No one ever says “It’s only a game”. . . when their team is winning. 14. I’ve reached the age where . . . ‘happy hour’ is a nap. 15. Be careful about reading the fine print . . . there’s no way you’re going to like it. 16. The trouble with bucket seats is that . . . not everybody has the same size bucket. 17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years . . . we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? 18. Money can’t buy happiness . . . but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than in a Yugo. 19. After 60, if you don’t wake up with aching joints . . . you’re probably dead. 20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind . . . and the ones that mind don’t matter. 21. Life isn’t tied with a bow . . . but it’s still a gift. WE DO MORE THAN MOW, BLOW AND GO! All your lawn care and yard maintenance needs. For a free estimate James at Gardnerville Green, gardnervillegreen@gmail.com or (775)450-0082 MEGA YARD SALE, SATURDAY, JUNE 11TH - Sunday, June 19th. “Picker” selling contents of 4 Lake Tahoe houses; beds, furniture, antiques, art, collectibles, Hummel’s, quilts, linens, household items, trihull boat with trailer (needs TLC), aluminum fishing boat, 1979 Ford Bronco II (5 speed) is in good shape but needs TLC, rare 1969 Dodge Tradesman van (318 V-8 with 96,000 original miles). We might have what you’re looking for. 1321 Limestone Road in Topaz Ranch Estates 9am-5pm daily, cash only please. Call Jack (775)790-3571

June 14th- Flag Day 9

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Brain Teasers

Spring into New Habits

Host a relaxing and educational ladies night in with a few friends and receive a free gift and a deep discount off Arbonne products. Learn about the NEW Genius Ultra skincare device that uses 300,000 ultrasound waves per second that instantly firm skin and visibly decrease wrinkles. Host a presentation with 3-5 of your friends and try it out! Let me show you the amazing, certified vegan, gluten free, botanically based anti-aging skincare products, nutrition and makeup from Arbonne. NEW product lines have been launched this month, call me to be the first to try them out! Free samples are also available to test! Nova Coffron, Independent Consultant, novacoffron.arbonne.com, novacoff9@gmail.com or (775)291-3764 WANTED - BEATER TRAVEL TRAILER TO PART out, 22’+ tandem axle, refrigerator, stove etc. still intact, will move, also rowboat and or motor, patio set, pay cash for all (775)782-3070 ASPHALT AND CONCRETE DRIVEWAYS, GRADING and Utility Work in the Carson Valley, 30 years in business, Free Estimates, BR Constructors, NV#28567/ NV#31076 (775)782-4477 or (775)690-8593

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1. There was a man who was born before his father, killed his mother, and married his sister. Yet, there was nothing wrong with what he had done. Why? 2. What relation would your father’s sister’s sister-inlaw be to you? 3. Julie is going on an extended trip for three weeks. She lives in a remote area where there are frequent electrical power outages which can last up to three or four days. Julie has quite a bit of food in her freezer which would go bad if it thawed and then re-froze. She does have digital clock and a VCR which would flash 12:00 if the power went out. Unfortunately, the clock and VCR flash even if the power only goes out for a few seconds. What can Julie do so that when she returns home she will be able to determine whether the power was out long enough to thaw her food? Asking a neighbor whether the power was out, isn’t a reliable option because the nearest house is half a mile away, and one house may have power, while another house may have no power. She won’t be able to have a neighbor check on her house every day, and has no one to house sit. 4. Ray Whitcombe is found dead in his office at his desk. The police have narrowed the suspects down to three people: Mrs. Barbara Whitcombe, Ray’s wife; Mr. Jason McCubbins, Ray’s business partner; and Mr. Harold Nichols, Ray’s best friend. All three visited Mr. Whitcombe the day of his murder, but all three provide the police with stories of explanation as to the reason for their visit. Police found Mr. Whitcombe with his wrist watch still on his right arm, a torn up picture of his wife laying on the floor beside the trash can, and an ink pen in his right hand. On the desk, the police found a name plate, a telephone that was off the hook, and a personal calendar turned to the July 5th page with 7B91011 written on it. After examining this evidence, the police knew their suspect. Who was it? Find the answers on a following page. $69 SERVICE CALL, ACADEMY APPLIANCE Service; Washers, Dryers, Refrigerators, Ranges, Dishwashers, Compactors, some areas extra charge, Serving Carson Valley (775)781-4725 GENERATOR SERVICE, REPAIR, SALES AND Rentals, Generac Authorized Dealer Residential, Commercial and Industrial, experienced in major makes and models from 1KW – 2MW, Alltech Services, alltechservicesnv.com (775)331-5900 CUSTOM LEATHER WORK, AUTO’S, BOAT’S and Furniture, come in for a free estimate, TNT Upholstery, 1482 Southgate Dr., #106, Gardnerville (775)267-5433

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” God Creating The Father By Erma Bombeck

Fun Fit

Exercise to music from the 60’s to now Mondays 4pm5pm At Dayton Community Center, 170 Pike Street (Old Town Dayton), Dollar Drop-in* *all funds go to Dayton Preservation Society information, Sheila, ss99358@ yahoo.com (775)721-2874 WE KEEP YOUR HOME COMFORTABLE! Fast 24 Hour 7 Day Emergency Service! Plumbing, Heating and Air Conditioning, Residential and Commercial. Serving Douglas County and surrounding communities, 18+ years experience, Mention this ad for 5% discount on service call, Riley Plumbing and Heating, Nevada Licensed (775)265-1765 ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)7212880 IS YOUR LIVING ROOM LOOKING DARK AND Dreary? Doreen with Lofty Expressions offers Drapery and Blinds, Custom Wallpaper and Faux finishes, 36 Years Experience, loftyexpressions.com or to schedule consultation (775)885-2444

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When the good Lord was creating Fathers he started with a tall frame. And a female angel nearby said, “What kind of Father is that? If you’re going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put Fathers up so high? He won’t be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping.” And God smiled and said, “Yes, but if I make him child-size, who would children have to look up to?” And when God made a Father’s hands, they were large and sinewy. And the angel shook her head sadly and said, “Do you know what you’re doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can’t manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats.” And God smiled and said, “I know, but they’re large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day…yet small enough to cup a child’s face in his hands.” And then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders. And the angel nearly had a heart attack. “Boy, this is the end of the week, all right,” she clucked. “Do you realize you just made a Father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?” And God smiled and said, “A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle, and hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus.” God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had ever seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. “That’s not fair. Do you honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?” And God smiled and said, “They’ll work. You’ll see. They’ll support a small child who wants to ride a horse to Banbury Cross, or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill.” God worked throughout the night, giving the Father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that saw everything, but remained calm and tolerant. Finally, almost as an afterthought, he added tears. Then he turned to the angel and said, “Now, are you satisfied that he can love as much as a Mother?” The angel shuteth up. COMPLETE LANDSCAPE, YARD MAINTENANCE and lawn care, hauling services, pruning, fences, clean-ups, small paint jobs, reasonable rates, 14+ years experience, NV#00028431 (775)291-1556 G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, Prune, Fertilize, Aerate, Sprinklers, Spring Clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672

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Remain Independent – Remain at Home

The “little things” become increasingly difficult as we age, but this doesn’t mean it’s time to surrender. We provide affordable, non-medical assistance for seniors at home. Light housekeeping, meal prep, bathing/grooming, companionship, family relief, and incidental transportation to appointments. A few hours to 24/7 care. No Place Like Home Senior Care, NvNoPlaceLikeHome. com or (775)392-2000

SUTRO LANDSCAPING, ONE CALL DOES IT all; lawn care, aerating and thatching, sprinkler systems, sod installation and planting, clean-ups and much more, Free Estimates, Operated by owner, NV#50048 (775)246-4871 or (775)291-3095 GOLF AND TENNIS MEMBERSHIP, GENOA LAKES AND Ranch, discounts in shops and restaurant, club storage, lockers and driving range $6,700 OBO (775)781-4296

June 19th- Happy Father’s Day!

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Being Frugal

Two men contracted to paint a small community church. Being very frugal (cheap), they pinched and scraped to spend the absolute minimum on materials. Then, when they were only partway through the job, they determined that they did not, after all, have enough paint to complete the job. Not wishing to spend any more money if they didn’t absolutely have to, they decided they would just dilute the water-based paint they were using so that it would last longer. They did this a couple more times before they finished, which caused striping on the church as the paint got lighter each time it was thinned. The painters had just about gotten to the top of the steeple, when, all of a sudden, the sky darkened, and the rain started to pour down. As the paint streamed down the sides of the church, a voice boomed from the heavens: “Repaint, you thinners! Repaint, and thin no more!” PLUMBER, SAY GOOD-BYE TO ALL PLUMBING issues! Absolute lowest rates, fully insured, serving Carson Valley and surrounding communities, NV#0072549, Jim (775)220-2341 SMITH VALLEY IRRIGATION – SERVING NEVADA and Sierra Communities for 38 Years with Ag Irrigation Systems and Parts (775)465-2316

Women Have all the Luck

Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject turned to getting older. The first guy said, “Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older.” “What do you mean?” asked the second guy. “Well,” replied the first. “I can barely remember the last time I was able to be romantic with the wife, but the wife is healthier than ever!” “Healthier? How is that?” his buddy wondered. “Well, years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed she’d get these terrible headaches.” he answered. “Now that we’re older, she hasn’t had a headache in years.” CUSTOM CABINETRY, FROM DESIGN TO BUILD, Finish and Installation, One-on-One attention, over 20 years experience, family owned and operated, WesternWoodworking.net or (775)267-4910 HIGH ROLLERS PAINTING FOR ALL YOUR PAINTING Needs and Drywall Repairs! Competitive rates and Quality Workmanship, Bonded and Insured, NV#44048, highrollerspainting.net or (775)2672534

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ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)265-4766 2 REDWOOD CHAIRS $20, 6’ BLUE CAMEL SOFA $20, 4 drawer metal cabinet 52” high $3, 1 wooden table 47” wide, 16” high $5, microwave oven $10 (775)750-5756 FREE! CEMENT SLABS, 8 PIECES APPROXIMATELY 8’x2’x3” and 4 pieces approximately 8’x4’x3”, 23 Upper Colony, Smith Valley (530)3186345 MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 30 YEARS Experience! Serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351 “RIGHT NOW,” YOUR ONE STOP SHOP FOR All Your Property Needs, move-out or move in cleaning many minor repairs, specializing in A to Z Estate Properties, Tracy (775)309-3036 SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two story houses, based in Minden area, call John (775)267-1800

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com Beautiful Golf Story!

Ed and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Nancy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last. On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Nancy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, “I guess you can tell I’m very much in love with you. I’d like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it’s only fair to warn you, I’m a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that’s going to be a problem for us, you’d better say so now!” Nancy took a deep breath and responded, “Ed, that certainly won’t be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we’re being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I’ve been a hooker.” Ed said, “I bet it’s because you’re not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball.”

LARRY’S TRACTOR SERVICE, CLEANUP WORK, rototilling, backhoe, box scraper, dump trailer, rake, hole drilling, affordable rates (775)267-2245 or (775)690-4632 1993 CAMARO PROJECT 383 STROKER short block, needs completing and mounting, no transmission, additional performance parts for the engine, It’s 5.7L LT1/LT4 383 Stroker engine and Airflow Research, SBC 195cc LT street L98 Heads, flywheel and more, all can also be sold separately, phone or text is fine at any time (775)309-7900 MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley over 26 years! (775)265-0501 ULTIMATE BOWFLEX, INCLUDES ALL EQUIPMENT, bench and manual, excellent condition $250 OBO, Dayton (775)980-7154 USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Parenting with Purpose By Mary Jane Battista - Coleville, CA

$100 OFF CLUTCH OR TRANSMISSION REPLACEMENT! New, used and rebuilds, up to 3 year, 100,000-mile warranty, Double J Auto, 1475 Southgate Drive, Gardnerville (775)782-8592 PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, faux and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, powerspainting.org or (775)7815531 or (775)315-5179 CHIZEK CONCRETE PUMPING, GROUT AND 3/4 line pump; Residential and commercial, prompt, dependable service, Brad (775)721-0055 DON’T HUMP IT, PUMP IT! THE PURPLE AVOCADO GREAT GIFTS! Come see why we’re voted #1 Best Gift Shop! 904 N. Curry Street, Carson City or visit our website at thepurpleavocado.com or (775)883-6233 CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! REPAIR, RE-STITCH, Replace; Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Spa Sun Covers and Patio Shade; Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/Minden (775)2674434 or (775)230-8706

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Father’s day is coming! In case you forgot it is always the 3rd Sunday in June. This year it will be June 19th. And if your are wondering what to give your dad for his special day, how about a note or card that tells him of a special time he may have shared with you and how much it meant to you. I read a statistic a few years back written by the Barna polls stating the average quality time a dad spends with his children is about 10 minutes per week! Shocking isn’t it. My challenge to Dad’s this summer is to plan some weekly activities that will include some fun things to do with your kids besides watching a movie. It’s not a bad idea to plan some work projects that you might have nagging at you like, cleaning the garage, landscaping, painting or fixing something. You will be surprised at how much your kids will love working by your side and how the valuable input of learning something with you will help them later on in life. I do realize that there are times you might say, “this would have been a whole lot easier and quicker if I had done it myself.” There is some validity to that but you can’t get back the time once your kids are out of the house. I still remember building a birdhouse with my dad at his workshop in our basement. And I watched families of birds come and go for years to come. We would take it down periodically, and paint it and dad would put it back up. It was still there long after he passed away. But I remember while making the house hearing stories he told me of his family, the dogs he had, of his time in the Navy when he fought in the South Pacific for 5 years and many other fine stories. He had a picture in the basement of a battleship being attacked and on fire. There were men over board and it was scary to me. I asked him why he had it hanging there. Dad said, “So I will never forget the price of freedom.” I wouldn’t have known that if we hadn’t spent time together. Talk to your children about what your life was like growing up. Whether good or bad they need to hear about who you are and what made you the kind of person you are today, Looking back to our own family experiences, my husband was in the Navy also and had military commitments as many of you do in the Coleville area. But he made sure to play basketball with my son even from the time he was 2. They fished and hiked when they could. My husband was a computer geek and he taught both my children many valuable computer skills. He coached or helped coach little league, soccer and bowling leagues when his schedule allowed him to. He planned date nights with both our son and daughter, which meant taking them to dinner and shopping with them, individually once per month. Our kids enjoyed that very much even though they were only allowed to spend a small amount. It wasn’t the

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amount of money spent but the time. Luke 11:11-13 Jesus said it this way. “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for fish will give him a snake? Or if he asks for an egg will you give him a scorpion? If you then being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?” The Bible teaches that God is not a man that He should lie. Dad’s when you are with your children do you teach them to be truthful? Are you modeling the character of God? When you speak something to your kids can they count on you to follow through with what you promised? Can you say you spend time teaching your children what God’s word says? Those are things that are of eternal value and will never be wasted. My own dad was not a Christian for most of his life. Our family was religious but to say he had a relationship with God was not so until I was in my late teens. But I can say that he was a moral man who never promised anything he was not prepared to deliver. If he said we were going to the amusement park we could count on it. If he said a spanking was due I knew it was a sure thing. But his consistent steadfastness left me with secure boundaries and prepared me to understand something of God’s character. Having said all that, my dad was also a work- a -holic and stubborn too, which drove my mother crazy. But after

his passing my mother did say on his behalf, “In 50 years of marriage I never knew an unpaid bill.” Quality time with my dad was rare but I am thankful for the times we had. The best memory I have of my dad is the day he asked the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive his sins and he became a Christian. He began to tell me, “I am born again” like it says in John 3:3 and before he died he said “I’ll see you in heaven.” My dad could say that because we have a Good Good Father and if you are a dad who doesn’t know Him yet, get hold of a Bible, talk to a pastor, go to church, a bible study or just “call on the name of the Lord and you will be saved.” Romans 10:13. How much more will your Father in Heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him? Happy Father’s Day! HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK RESURFACING and repair, interior doors, windows and interior/exterior trim, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235 DECKS, REMODELS, ADDITIONS, GARAGES! free estimates, Redline Construction, Inc., NV#0080432, garyedmunds15@gmail.com or call (775)781-3955

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” In and Out

Once upon a time there were two little skunks named “In” and “Out.” They lived in a hollow tree with their mother. Sometimes In and Out played outside, but other times they played inside. One day In was out and Out was in. Mother skunk told Out to go out and bring In in. So Out went out and in a few minutes he came in with In. “My my, Out,” she said, “How did you find In so quickly?” Out just smiled and said, “Instinct.” ELLA K. LADEN, CPA, PROFESSIONAL, PERSONALIZED Service for all of your Tax and Bookkeeping needs, Reasonable Rates, 25 Years Experience (775)392-0074 HOUSE RENTAL WANTED IN DOUGLAS COUNTY, 2-3 bedroom, garage or detached shop, RV/Boat parking a must, retired couple, non-smokers, 1 small dog, please call Norm (775)315-6892 MAINTENANCE FREE DECKS AND PATIO COVERS, knowledgeable, honest, professional service! Serving Northern Nevada for 18+ years! Free Quotes! K & C Construction, NV#0079034 (775)691-6462

ONE CALL AND YOUR PREFABRICATED GRANITE Counter/Tile installation issues are history! Quality Installation, Reasonable Prices, Bonded/Licensed, CV Tile and Stone, James (775)220-6287 IRS PROBLEMS? FEDERAL AND ALL STATES, Past years returns and audit representation, “Service you can trust, quality you can afford.”, Call James A. Farnham, enrolled agent, 20 years experience, Reasonable Rates, Income Tax Services (775)392-0321

Biggest Little Flea Market …

June 4th-5th, July 9th-10th, and August 6th-7th. Treasures, Paper Products, Produce and Honey, at Elks Club in the Gardnerville Ranchos, for information (775)265-9567 SMALL, ROUND TABLE, CAST IRON PEDESTAL, 30” DIAMETER, includes 3 bentwood chairs with leather seats, light finish, very good condition $175 OBO (775)309-3923 LET US UNLOAD ON YOU! TOP SOIL, ROCK, DG, etc. Tight time line? We’re really fast! 30+ years experience, serving Carson and surrounding communities, Nevada Organics (775)882-9500

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DOG CRATES, 22”Wx36”Lx21”H $30; 18”Wx24”Lx16”H $20; dog fence, 24”Hx16’L, attaches to crate above $20; dog carrier, plastic and wire 16”Wx24”L $20 (775)266-3536 HYDRAULIC AND PNEUMATIC AIR CYLINDERS repair and rebuild, log splitters, tractors, farm equipment, dump trucks and trailers, etc. all makes and models. Machining, Welding, Fabrication, Design, reasonable rates! 18 years experience, Ramco Fabrication, Shawn (775)267-7358

Compulsive Eaters Anonymous

A program to address compulsive eating; ALL are welcome. Mondays 5:15pm, Tuesdays 10am and Thursdays 5:15pm at St. Peter’s Episcopal Church, 314 N. Division St. Carson City. Contact (775)400-0098. REASONABLE RATES FOR INTERIOR/ EXTERIOR PAINTING, Done By The Best! Wood Staining and Finishing, 30+ years experience, Free Estimates, Senior Discounts, serving Douglas County and surrounding communities, Graham Painting, NV#0079484, Kim (775)721-4491 ROASTED GARLIC JAM, SOLD AT SCOLARI’S Market, Carrols Corner, South Yerington, call for more information (775)846-8972 or (775)463-1265

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Eyeglasses

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before. “What seems to be the problem, madam? “I’m returning these glasses I bought for my husband, he’s still not seeing things my way.” DOING SPRING CLEANING? FREE DROP OFF of Appliances, Unwanted Scrap, Hot Water Heaters, Etc. Free Abandoned Vehicle Removal, Licensed/Bonded, D&L Dismantlers (775)246-3444 INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX Preparation, Federal and all States, Prior Years, Audit Representation, 30 Years Experience, Reasonable Rates (775)392-0418 MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 35 years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919 VOICE AND PIANO LESSONS, BEGINNER to Advanced students, experienced teacher, performer, music degree. Call The Songlady! Carolyn Lancaster (775)720-1918 or (775)267-2582

Observations On Growing Older

Your kids are becoming you...and you don’t like them... but your grandchildren are perfect! Going out is good… Coming home is better! You forget names... But it’s OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!! You realize you’re never going to be really good at anything.... especially golf. The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don’t care to do them anymore. You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It’s called “presleep”. You miss the days when everything worked with just an “ON” and “OFF” switch…You tend to use more 4 letter words .... “what?”..”when?”... ??? Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it’s not safe to wear it anywhere. You notice everything they sell in stores is “sleeveless”?!!! What used to be freckles are now liver spots. Everybody whispers. You have 3 different sizes of clothes in your closet, 2 of which you will never wear. But old is good in some things: old songs, old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!! And remember, it’s not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived! Have something to sell or something to say? Put it in The Scoop today! (775)782-4520 or sierrascoop.com

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Mommy Test

I was out walking with my 4-year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. “Why?” my daughter asked. “Because it’s been on the ground, you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty, and probably has germs” I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Mommy, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.” I was thinking quickly. “All moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mommy.” We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. “OH...I get it!” she beamed, “So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the daddy.” “Exactly” I replied back with a big smile on my face. ROCKWELL, HAMILTON AND MANY OTHER collectible plate collections, original boxes with certificates, over 300 plates in all, purchase price over $10,000, sell for $2,000 (775)971-8191

Genoa Community Garage Sale

Saturday, June 4th, 9am-1pm, maps of participating homes available at Genoa Country Store and at Gillmor Coons Real Estate Group, Gina, ginacoons@gmail.com or (775)721-3988 PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827 QUALITY EMBROIDERY SCREEN PRINTING and Promotional Products! East to West Embroidery and Design, Visit easttowest.com or call A.J. (775)3150108 HIGH DESERT BARNS, CUSTOM STEEL BUILDINGS, Horse Shelters, Quality Barns built with 25 years of experience, highdesertbarns.com or (775)2463004 CARSON INSULATION CONTRACTORS, ROOFING, Drywall and more, Honest Quality Service with Integrity, Free Estimates, Competitive Rates, Insured, 30+ years experience, NV#0078115, CA#661757 (775)297-0187

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RENEE’S UPHOLSTERY, FORMERLY OF SARAH’S, specializing in Motorcycle Seats, Furniture, Marine, Automotive, 20 years experience, rquell@sbcglobal.net or (775)530-3941 HARDWOOD FLOORING WAREHOUSE CLEARANCE! Also Laminate, Vinyl Plank and Carpet at 20% - 50% off, Specials starting from .50 per square foot, Rogers Carpet One (775)267-2555 THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)2655541 or (775)901-1848 VINOTHEQUE 440 BOTTLE WINE CAVE, 7’tallx27”x39”, smoke glass insert doors, needs minor repair $200 (775)790-1820 THE INHERITANCE YOUR FAMILY WILL APPRECIATE most is knowing your family history. We can help with transcription, word processing, proof reading and editing, book layout and prompts, Eileen, lifestoriesworkshop.com or (775)392-1002

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21

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Reno Colt Starting Challenge

June 3rd and 4th, 5pm-8pm, Washoe Valley Ranch, tickets $15, 5 unbroke horses, 5 round pens, 5 Natural Horsemanship Trainers, ColtStartingChallengeUSA.com or to enter your horse (808)269-3408 DO YOU LOVE YOUR DOG, BUT SOME TIMES don’t like your dog? Don’t worry, Nevada Dog Trainer can help, K.C. Carter (775)781-4742 “A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter@sbcglobal.net or (775)530-8932 or (775)884-3906 HOMEWORKS SUPERIOR AIR QUALITY AIRDUCT and dryer vent system cleaning, includes new filters, call for reasonable rates (775)790-6445 MKD CONSTRUCTION, GENERAL ENGINEERING, concrete structures, concrete flat work, grading, roadway improvements, drainage, storm drains, underground utilities (water and sewer), paving, fencing, barrier rail, environmental improvements, Commercial and Residential Snow Removal, Excellent Reputation and References Available, NV#50061 and CA#818376, Mike (775)246-1900 or (775)315-2416 SERENADE QUILTING MACHINE, MODEL BLSN, baby lock, includes extended quilt table, brand new, never used, paid $1,200, sell for $600, Mary (775)7826002 JUST GUN FOOD! RELOADING EQUIPMENT, Components, Training and Ammunition, ThursdaySaturday 10am-6pm, Sunday noon-5pm, Bear Bullets, 1231 Service Drive, Unit A2, Gardnerville, bearbulletsnv.com or (775)392-3213

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Six Little Stories to Live By

Once all villagers decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer all the people gathered, but only one boy came with an umbrella. That’s Faith. When you throw babies in the air, they laugh because they know you will catch them. That’s Trust. Every night we go to bed without any assurance of being alive the next morning, but still we set the alarms to wake up. That’s Hope. We plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future. That’s Confidence. We see the world suffering, but still we get married and have children. That’s Love. On an old man’s shirt was written a sentence ‘I am not 80 years old I am sweet 16 with 64 years of experience.’ That’s Attitude. MOUNTAIN SHADOW LANDSCAPE AND CURBING, Pavers, Concrete, Complete Landscape Services, Free Estimates, NV#0058571, Jim Vinlon (775)7204937 and Victor Munoz (775)291-1672 ELECTRICAL PROBLEMS? MAKE THEM GO away! No job too small! New construction, remodels, service and repair, Pigman Electric, NV#73243, CA#610417 (775)721-9491 STILL MISS SWEET SHY HUEY, 7 YEAR old short hair orange tabby with loud meow and patch of white fur on under belly. Reward! Last seen Molly and Camille, Carson City (775)885-7638 LANCASTER CONSTRUCTION, WE SPECIALIZE in Re-leveling Mobile Homes, also replacing old metal exterior doors with new residential doors. Give Phil Lancaster a call to schedule an appointment (775)7204319 or (775)782-8785

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23

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Star Signs

SALE! LAZY-BOY POWER LIFT CHAIR, 10 months old, paid $1,500 asking $750; 26” wheelchair $150; shower chair full seat $125; roll top desk $400 (775)790-1508 ENTERPRISE JANITORIAL INC., HONEST, TRUSTWORTHY Attention to Detail, Serving Carson Valley since 1999, Competitive Rates, Residential/Commercial, Licensed, Bonded, Insured, Anna (775)691-2939

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Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are to ever fully understand all the star signs and the people they represent, we need symbols that all true Southerners understand: See the list below... OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Are tough on the outside but tender on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. You can do something good each day if you try. CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A Chitlin, however, will make something of himself if he is motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful they may surprise you. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra. BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - March 20) You have an overwhelming curiosity. You’re unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. You love to stay busy and tend to work too much. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don’t worry about it. MOON PIE (March 21 - April 20) You’re the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. A cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It’s not going to be easy. You always have a big smile and are happy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not. POSSUM (April 21 - May 21) When confronted with life’s difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don’t-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you’re dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy but seems to work for you. You are a rare breed. Most folks love to watch you work and play. You are a night person and mind your own business. CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21) Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you’re hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, and the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads. COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23) Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the melting pot of life and share their essence with the essence of those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Crawfish. It just won’t work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

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CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23) Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one’s whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You Catfish are never easy people to understand. You run fast. You work and play hard. Even though you prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life, you are liked by most. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies. GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23) Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese, gravy, bacon, butter, or eggs and a good time. If you can go somewhere

where they have all these things, that serves you well. You are pure in heart. BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23) You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best, your friends and loved ones, may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you. BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22) Always invite a Butter Bean to a party because Butter Beans get along

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You’ve grown on the vine of life, and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn’t have anything to do with Moon Pies. ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21) You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle and kind inside. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms, and insects. You are a throwback. You’re not concerned with today’s fashions and trends. You’re not concerned with anything about today. You’re almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but a Possum is another somewhat kinky mating possibility. NORTHERN NEVADA BOER GOATS, HOME of Champion Producing Sire Sudden Impact, Full Bloods Purebreds Percentages Kids available now, ichwawa395@aol.com, northernnvboergoats.com (775)781-0243 BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND recolored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (530)495-1641 or (775)233- 5297

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OUR BUSINESS IS GROWING! IRRIGATION, Water-Based Feeding, Tree Trimming, Cleanup, Hauling, Leafing! Winter Snow Removal and Maintenance, Pyramid Lawn Service Inc. Residential Lawn Care, Licensed and Bonded, Owned by Ruben Vargas (775)450-1197 or (775)220-8578

Tahoe/Douglas Elks Annual Flea Market

Friday, September 30th, 7am-3pm, and October 1st, 7am-2pm, collecting GOOD quality items at the Lodge on Tuesdays and Thursdays, 9am–12pm, 1227 Kimmerling, Gardnerville Ranchos. For donations pick up call between 9am-6pm, Jim (310)874-4655, Ron (775)267-1367 / (775)315-0146 or Neil (775)265-5120 CLEAR THE CLUTTER! HARRY’S HAULING; pianos, spas, safes or anything else, serving the Carson Valley communities (775)241-2658 or (775)291-6648 FIREWOOD FOR SALE, 100% PINION PINE, $235 PER cord, local delivery free, small charge for nonlocal (530)495-2575 or (530)363-0168 PIANO AND ORGAN PRIVATE INSTRUCTIONS, Member of Sierra Organ Club, Call Joanne Booth in Sunridge, Carson City (775)267-2429

Tennis Ball

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Information

While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing no one around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A somewhat naive girl standing next to him saw the large bulge in his shorts. “What’s that?” she asked, her eyes gleaming with curiosity. “Tennis ball,” came the breathless reply. “Oh,” said the naive girl sympathetically, “That must be painful.... I had tennis elbow once.”

“Hello, Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company.” “Would you spell that, please?” “Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you.” “Just a minute, sir. I’ll connect you with my supervisor.”

HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)267-1958

FOUND IN TOPAZ RANCH ESTATES, BLACK full length leather coat and tan suede vest, call Debbie (530)314-1349

MASTER HOROLOGIST, CLOCK REPAIR, MUSEUM Quality Furniture, Chair Caning and Antique Everything Restoration, Grandfather Clock House Calls! A-1 Restorations since 1967, Larry (775)7822422

PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, Emergency Services, Fair Prices, Dependable Quick Service, Quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373

BACKHOE, BOBCAT RENTAL, DECORATIVE rock and boulders at discount prices including Lodi gold, Snowflake, Santa Rosa Plum, all sizes (775)6905078 HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/ INSIDE repairs, big or small, remodel or new construction, flat rate $35 per hour (775)691-5119

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The Top 10 Things You’ll Never Hear a Dad Say

10. “Well, how ‘bout that? I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions.” 9. “You know Pumpkin, now that you’re thirteen, you’ll be ready for un-chaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun?” 8. “I noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that.” 7. “Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car. Go crazy!!!” 6. “What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating is not good enough for you, son?” 5. “Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party.” 4. “Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies—ya know—that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.” 3. “No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your belly-aching and let’s go to the mall.” 2. “Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.” And the number one thing you’ll never hear a dad say: 1. “What do I want for Father’s Day? Aahh—don’t worry about that. It’s no big deal.” (actually they might say this, but they don’t mean it).

Crafters and Vendors Wanted!

Silver Streak Expo 2016, Saturday, July 9th, 9am-4pm, Carson City Senior Center Banquet Room; benefits Carson City Senior Meals on Wheels. For more information contact Dawn, dbeck@carson.org or (775)883-0703 ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $399, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994 PART TIME EMPLOYMENT, NON-PROFIT AGENCY; flexible hours working with seniors. Positions available in Topaz, Coleville, Walker and Bridgeport, California. Call for more information (530)4952700 WANTED SMALL BERETTA HANDGUN Model 950BS or 21A, reasonably priced, buy or trade (775)463-1159 PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, Lawn care, Competitive Rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081

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YOUR MOTORSPORT ADVENTURE OUTFITTER; specializing in Adventure Touring and Dual Sport motorcycles, parts, apparel and accessories, Adventure Motostuff, amotostuff.com (775)841-3777 FRAMING THAT’S FAST, FRIENDLY AND FANTASTIC! Framing for every budget, Carson’s only independent framer, Sierra Custom Picture Framing, 1210 N. Carson Street, Carson City (775)883-5411 CUSTOM MASONRY, ONE BRICK AT A TIME, Commercial/Residential, 3+ Better Business Bureau rating, serving Carson Valley 12+ years, Free Estimates, M Squared Masonry, NV#200616647 and CA#924187, Marc Duryee (775)783-4753 or (775)4506219 5’X10’ TRAILER, USED TO TRANSPORT UTV side by side for camping, can be used for wood getting and to move large items, Walt/Yerington (775)463-5951 ALL AMERICAN OVERHEAD DOOR, NEW INSTALLATION, Repairs and Service, Commercial/ Residential, 10% Discount for Spring Repair, Free Estimates and Senior Discount (775)450-2156

June 20th- First Day of Summer

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Goin Fishin

‘Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?’ Asks Vicky’s best friend, Myra. ‘Why shouldn’t I, Myra?’ responds Vicky. ‘Well, maybe he is having an affair?’ comments Myra. ‘No way,’ laughs Vicky, ‘he never comes home with any fish.’ SEW-WHAT UPHOLSTERY, SPECIALIZING IN Antiques and Leather, bring the life back to which it deserves, 40+ years experience, Carson Valley, Leslie (775)901-2035 ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174

Rustic Country Furniture

Do you like rustic furniture? I build rustic furniture handmade from barn wood and reclaimed lumber. Custom orders are welcomed, conservator quality craftsmanship with excellent local references. Call Christopher (775)782-1130 CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Old Wind Up Watches and Watch Parts, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Joanne, please leave clear message (775)465-9422

BROTHER FAX/PHONE $40; YAMAHA theater receiver HTR-5740 5.0 surround sound $100; antique stove, corn husker, planters, etc. (775)721-1473

DASILVA’S HAULING/HANDYMAN SERVICES Cleanup, tree trimming/removal, rock and dirt removal, weed pulling, tractor service, handyman services, fence repairs and housecleaning, NV#03-19423 (775)230-3436 or (775)354-3328

SPIRITUAL CLUB DISCUSSION GROUP, DREAM Study, Book Reviews, Metaphysics, Meditation, Astrology and Health Subjects, No Sales! Saturday’s 1pm, Andy (775)266-3955

RETIRED ELECTRICIAN, TO MY LOYAL CLIENTS; Recovering from shoulder surgery but will return. Meanwhile, please call with questions, John (775)781-7606

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Remind our Teens!

I went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said. You told me not to drink, Mom, so I drank soda instead. I really felt proud inside, Mom, the way you said I would. I didn’t drink and drive, Mom, even though the others said I should. I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right. Now the party is finally ending, Mom, as everyone is driving out of sight. As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I’d get home in one piece. Because of the way you raised me, so responsible and sweet. I started to drive away, Mom, but as I pulled out into the road, the other car didn’t see me, Mom, and hit me like a load. As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say, “The other guy is drunk,” Mom, and now I’m the one who will pay. I’m lying here dying, Mom... I wish you’d get here soon. How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon. There is blood all around me, Mom, and most of it is mine. I hear the medic say, Mom, I’ll die in a short time. I just wanted to tell you, Mom, I swear I didn’t drink. It was the others, Mom. The others didn’t think. He was probably at the same party as I. The only difference is, he drank and I will die. Why do people drink, Mom? It can ruin your whole life. I’m feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife. The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, and I don’t think it’s fair. I’m lying here dying and all he can do is stare. Tell my brother not to cry, Mom. Tell Daddy to be brave. And when I go to heaven, Mom, Put “Daddy’s Girl” on my grave. Someone should have told him, Mom, not to drink and drive. If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive. My breath is getting shorter, Mom. I’m becoming very scared. Please don’t cry for me, Mom. When I needed

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you, you were always there. I have one last question, Mom before I say good bye. I didn’t drink and drive, so why am I the one to die? HANDYMAN FOR ALL YOUR OUTSIDE NEEDS, yard cleanup, power wash, etc., minor jobs, free estimates, NV#11376PC (775)246-9899 BROWNING BUCK MARK .22LR PISTOL. 5½” heavy barrel, full length rib, excellent target pistol, $600 Dave/Yerington (202)538-1182 Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free personal ads, published as space permits. These articles, letters, comments DO NOT necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, Phone/Fax (775)782-4520

The Storks

Two storks on a nest, a father stork and baby stork. Baby is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. “Don’t worry Son, your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.” The next night, its fathers turn to do the job. “Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he’s bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.” A few days later, the stork parents are desperate, their son is gone from the nest all night. Finally, shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask their son where he had been all night. Says the baby stork, “Awww, just scaring the heck out of college kids!” TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, clipper blades, clipper repair, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079

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31

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Women and Driving

What to Watch!

A married couple was watching a volleyball game at a beach when the wife spotted a couple in the bleachers. They were being very affectionate. The girl was running her hands all over the boyfriend and nibbling on his ear and they were kissing each other. Looking at them, the wife said to her husband “I don’t know whether to watch them or the game.” Husband said, “Better watch them! You already know how to play volleyball.” WE MEET BY ACCIDENT! ALL AUTOMOTIVE repairs with Professionalism and Customer Service Our Top Priority! Your choice for accident repair, offering rental cars and free estimates, Valley Collision, Yerington (775)463-5555 50 GALLON PROPANE WATER HEATER, BRADFORD white defender model #M45036FX, includes installation pipes, 60” tall, 22” diameter, 2½ years old, excellent condition $200, Lynda (202)355-4201 SHOWER/BATHTUB ENCLOSURES STARTING at $4,995, done with Sentrel Bath Systems, granite stone or marble look material. Figueroa’s Construction for your bathroom and kitchen/home improvements, Free Estimates, NV#58909, CA#678260 (775)782-3225 LOBO ROOFING, SERVING NORTHERN NEVADA since 1993, Financing Available! Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Senior Citizen Discounts, Mobile Home, Residential and Commercial, Lic#K0011, NVLic#0070178 (775)342-8969 HANDYMAN SERVICE – HOME REPAIRS, FENCING Repair/Replacement, Hauling, Trash Removal, Shrub and Tree Trimming and Removal, and Weed Removal, Free Estimates (775)781-1747

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I was driving to work the other day when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder. This evidently irritated the driver enough that he hung his head out his window and gave the woman the bird. “Man, that guy is stupid” I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here’s why: I drive 38 miles each way every day to work, that’s 76 miles. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8-lane highway so if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That’s 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 34 miles is not bumper to bumper. I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day. Statistically half of these are driven by females, that’s 18,000. In any given group of females 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period. That’s 642. According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding, that’s 449. According to the National Institutes of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide, that’s 98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem, that’s 33. According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing. That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period, and is armed. No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn’t DREAM of giving her the bird. GOT WOOD? SAMMY’S FIREWOOD, HONEST Quality Service, soft and hard wood, delivery available, located in Carson City, (775)315-0834 $200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, Re-roof, Repairs, Over 25 Years Experience, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” Licensed, Bonded and Insured, NV Lic.#58203; Tom Goldston Roofing, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount (775)790-2461 GOT ART? COME SEE OUR NEW SELECTION of Contemporary, Rustic frames, Lone Tree Frame Company, 1497 Hwy. 395 N., Gardnerville (775)782-2522

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Pit Bulls Spayed/Neutered only $25

DAWG has grant funds available for a low cost Pit bull/PB Mix Spay/Neuter program. Proof of Douglas County, NV residency required. For more information call (775)782-3770 ANTIQUE SECRETARY DESK, DROP FRONT, Serpentine drawers, claw feet, 29.5”Wx16”Dx41”H, make offer (775)266-4740 A BAD TILE JOB CAN BE LIKE A BAD HAIRCUT, but it doesn’t grow back, so don’t get hacked! Done right the first time, Sundance Tile and Marble, NV#58795 (775)691-9954 WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)7829192 FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)782-8776

Think it Over!

Free Makeup! What??

Ladies, let me treat you to a free lesson on makeup application and tips and tricks, by appointment please, Fridays 4pm-7pm at Beachcomber Salon, Gardnerville, Ann (530)386-1135

Two men are out ice fishing at their favorite fishing hole, just fishing quietly and drinking beer. Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Rick says, “I think I’m going to divorce my wife - she hasn’t spoken to me in over 2 months.” Dave continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says, “You better think it over - women like that are hard to find.”

IN NEED OF A FENCE? WE SELL WHOLESALE to the public; Installation, Materials and Repairs. Custom Gates, Dog Kennels, Horse Shelters and Electronic Gates. We specialize in the largest variety of fence products. Proudly serving Northern Nevada and California since 1989! 5% off with this ad! Florence Fence Inc., Minden, NV#31586B, CA#559646, Free Estimates! (775)267-9918

WINDOWS – 2½’X5’ $35; (4) 5’X4’ $60 EACH; 5’X3’ $50; 98 Polaris Express parts $500 (775)309-3639

MOSSBERG .410 SHOTGUN, BOLT ACTION, 22 INCH barrel and adjustable choke, great gun around the ranch/farm $180, Dave/Yerington (202)538-1182

JANS TROPICS AND ELEGANT POOCH, 50 YEARS serving Carson! Dog and Cat Grooming, Pet Supplies and Tropical Fish, 1000 Corbett St., Carson City (775)882-5659 or (775)882-4928

WANNA BE FENCED? CHAIN LINK, ORNAMENTAL Iron and Wood, Post Hole Drilling, Dig and Set Posts, Redwood Decking and Tennis Courts, Serving Carson Valley since 1978, Finest Fence, NV#25928A (775)883-1117

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BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, Residential and Commercial, Multi Story Specialist, Mobile Blind Cleaning, Pressure Washing, Awning Cleaning, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)8836629

WE HAVE A LARGE SELECTION OF NEW AND Used RV’s and a full parts and service department, Carson City RV, 4550 North Carson Street, North Highway 395 (775)882-8335

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Leah’s Perfect Rose

Elegant Floral Design, Creative Arrangements, Plants, Gifts, Weddings, Every Occasion, 13 Years Experience, We Deliver! Monday-Friday, 9am-5pm, Saturday 10am2pm, 1685 US Hwy 395, #1B, Minden (775)392-3532 PROFESSIONAL CAREGIVER, LICENSED, Bonded, Certified in all Caregiver needs, 24 hour care available, 20 years experience, references available (775)901-3864 HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30 years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick –up and delivery; parts in one day! californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521 6 RV TRUCK TIRES, 225/75R16, 10 PLY, ALL TIRES like new $250, must buy all 6 (775)267-2665 CONSOLIDATED ELECTRICAL DISTRIBUTORS, full line of electrical parts for construction and maintenance; lighting, lamps, wire, pipe, etc. Carson City (775)883-4508 TREE TRIMMING, STUMP GRINDING, REMOVAL, thinning, shaping, crown reduction, safety pruning, balancing, fruit trees, hedges, ornamental pruning our specialty, russellstreeservice.org (775)685-0528 VENDORS, CHESHIRE ANTIQUES HAS SPACE Available! 12,000 square foot store, furniture, jewelry, repurposed and more. Contact Karen, 1423 Hwy 395, Gardnerville (775)782-9117 The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers.

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Husband and Wife

Wife: Oh, come on. Husband: Leave me alone! Wife: It won’t take long. Husband: I won’t be able to sleep afterwards. Wife: I can’t sleep without it. Husband: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Wife: Because I’m hot. Husband: You get hot at the darndest times. Wife: If you love me I wouldn’t have to beg you. Husband: If you love me you’d be more considerate. Wife: You don’t love me anymore. Husband: Yes I do, but let’s forget it for tonight. Wife: (Sob-Sob) Husband: All right, I’ll do it. Wife: What’s the matter? Need a flashlight? Husband: I can’t find it. Wife: Oh, for heaven’s sake, feel for it! Husband: There! Are you satisfied? Wife: Oh, yes, honey. Husband: Is it down far enough? Wife: Oh, that’s fine. Husband: Now go to sleep. The next time, it’s your turn to get up and turn the thermostat down. Wife: Yes, honey. EVERYONE HAS A STORY--AND A STORY WORTH telling. Let me help you tell your story, or even do it for you--in your voice. If you have something to say but struggle to put words to it I can help, no matter your writing or organizational abilities. Preserve your legacy and life experiences by putting them in writing. Let’s tell your story, big or small. doubleh2260@gmail.com or (775)772-0117 CUSTOM HOMES AND MORE; NEW CONSTRUCTION, Remodels, Garages, Decks, Carports, Concrete, Roofs, Fencing and Interior Finish, 30+ years experience in Carson Valley! Serving Carson Valley, Wellington and Surrounding Areas. Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Booth Custom Homes, NV#057010 (775)691-3300 HAVING DIFFICULTIES FINDING A HOME? RENTING, buying, tired of being a landlord or looking to sell? Call Nevada Premier Properties, ask for Angie Smith (775)691-0330

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com Codependents Anonymous

CoDA “Developing Healthy Relationships” Carson City, Sparks and Kings Beach, Visit www.coda.org or call for details, Al at (775)882-0884 or Bob C. (775)720-1040 PIANO - EVERETT CONSOLE MADE BY YAMAHA, needs tuning, includes bench and lamp $400 OBO (775)783-9392 HDS INSURANCE REPRESENTING NUMEROUS top companies, we do the shopping for you, right priced, right coverage, all lines of insurance (775)2679947 COMPLETE LAWNCARE, PAVERS, RETAINING Walls and More! 30 years in Carson Valley, Senior Discounts and Free Estimates, Nevada Lawns (775)450-2156 NEED FABRIC? LARGEST FABRIC SELECTION in northern Nevada; upholstery, drapery, awning, vinyl, outdoor fabrics, custom bedding, area rugs, drapery hardware and full upholstery workroom, Acanthus Fabrics and Upholstery, 2562-B Silver State Pkwy, Minden, Acanthusfabrics.com (775)267-1300

Bachelors

Two confirmed bachelors were sitting and talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. “I got a cookbook once,” said the first, “but I could never do anything with it.” “Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?” asked the second. “You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - ‘Take a clean dish and...’” CRAFTSMAN BAND SAW $100; DELTA DRILL press $100; 97 Dodge Tailgate, complete gym set, includes 200 pounds of weights $500 OBO (775)781-9603 COMPLETE LANDSCAPING AND SNOW REMOVAL, RESIDENTIAL and Commercial, Weekly Maintenance, Tree Trimming, Emergency Repairs, Sprinklers/Drip, Pavers, Patios, Retaining Walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, www.davenportlandscape.com or (775)265-1491 or (775)721-8439 APPLIANCE REPAIR, SAVE 50% ON YOUR NEXT In-Home Service Call with this ad, Carson, Minden, Dayton, Sam’s TV and Appliance, Since 1960 (775)885-1939

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Brain Teaser Answers

1. His father was in front of him when he was born, therefore he was born before him. His mother died while giving birth to him. Finally, he grew up to be a minister and married his sister at her ceremony. 2. This person would be your mother. 3. One thing Julie could do is freeze a tray of ice-cubes, and turn the tray of ice upside down in her freezer. When she comes home, she should check the tray. If the ice cubes are still in the tray, the food is safe to eat. If the trays are empty, it’s time to clean out the freezer. She will have to make a judgment call if the ice-cubes are only slightly thawed. 4. Jason McCubbins, Ray’s business partner. The calendar is the clue to solving this murder. The police realized that since Mr. Whitcombe was wearing his watch on his right arm, he must be left handed. But the pen was found in his right hand. Realizing that the number on the calendar was written in a hurry and with his opposite hand, police matched the written number with the months of the year. So the B was an 8, thereby giving us 7-8-9-10-11: July, August, September, October, November. Use the first letter of each month and it spells J-A-S-O-N.

Caregivers Needed

Join our team of Caregivers and make a difference in the lives of seniors. Provide companionship and bring assisted living into their home. Full-time, part-time, days, nights, 12 hour, and 24 hour shifts available. Retired and mature adults encourage to apply. EOE Apply online NvNoPlaceLikeHome.com or (775)410-2930 D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, snow removal, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)671-0808 BOOKS FOR SALE, VARIOUS AUTHORS, paperbacks mostly, prices range from $1 depending on the book’s condition, call with your book list 925-4874905 TWO PIECE WOODEN 15 DRAWER FLAT file $75, 75 cookbooks $1 each or all $50, Bissell vacuum cleaner $20 775-266-3435 25’ OF 7” FIREPLACE FLUE, HAS NEVER BEEN assembled or used, we paid $1,200 for it and will take best offer (775)790-0267

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AERATING OR DE-THATCHING $49, FRONT and rear most lawns, clean up available, weekly lawn service, total yard clean-up, Juniper removal, Earth, Turf and Timber Landscape Maintenance and Tree Removal (775)450-1955 FULL SERVICE SALON, ABOUT NAILS, in Carson City for sale, great location, low rent, well established, great opportunity, in great condition, for information and appointment, please call (775)220-7296 CAMPING EQUIPMENT IN EXCELLENT CONDITION, saddles and tack, lanterns, camping cookware, cots, sleeping bags, glassware, pictures, utensils, etc. priced to sell, Gardnerville (775)267-7113 GUNSMITHING SERVICES, CLEANING, REPAIR, Customizing, Federal Nevada License, Thom’s Gun Shop, Wellington (775)266-3136 MASON VALLEY RESIDENCE RETIREMENT home in Yerington, Senior Country Living, Landscaped Courtyard, 3 meals per day and snacks, well trained staff with lots of hugs, family friendly atmosphere (775)463-5946 1 CALL HOME REPAIR, FAST, FRIENDLY SERVICE! Mention Ad for Special Labor Rates! Serving Carson City, Dayton and Douglas County, Free Estimates, Insured, NV#1129177, Tim (775)750-4744

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Check-up

A middle aged man goes into the doctor’s office for a check-up with a litany of complaints. The doctor speaks to the man’s wife alone and says, “There is nothing the matter with your husband. If you make a couple of meals for him every day, let him watch his sports, do not complain to him too much or require him to listen, limit his exposure to in-laws and be romantic with him at least to once a week then, he’ll probably live another 20 years.” She returns to her husband’s side in the waiting room. He asks, “What did the doctor tell you?” “You are going to be dying soon, my dear.” ELECTROLYSIS AND LASER FOR HAIR REMOVAL; Complimentary, confidential consultation. 24 years experience. Weekday, evening, Saturday appointments available, Sally Battista (775)782-6190 LARGE DOG CRATE 33”X22”X27”, new $125, sell for $49; Ryobi 16” Scroll Saw, variable speed, new condition $50; 4 truck tires, 30/9.50R/15LT, fairly good condition $10 each (775)266-4740 PIANO LESSONS, ALL AGES WELCOMED, Carson and Carson Valley, doriopianolessons.weebly.com or email pianolessons@gmx.com (775)885- 6903

Annual St. Gall Rummage Sale…

is scheduled for August 5th, 7am-5pm and August 6th, 7am-3pm. This is our BIG ONE! We have something for everyone. St. Gall, 1343 Centerville Lane, Gardnerville (775)782-2852 WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL PACIFIC Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)8823999 COMPLETE AUTO CARE, COMPETITIVE RATES, honest, quality work with integrity, 15+ years serving Carson Valley, Autotrans Complete, 1408 Industrial Way #17, Gardnerville (775)782-1150 OUR JOB IS PICKING UP! $119 A LOAD PLUS dump fee, J.P.’S Hauling, Junk and Trash, “Your Hometown Hauler Since 1996!” Carson Valley/Carson City (775)265-6813 WE’LL KEEP YOU IN STITCHES, WE COVER autos, furniture and ATV’s, 47 years experience, Tweeds Upholstery, Gardnerville, tweedsupholstery@ yahoo.com or (775)782-5812

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Technologically Speaking

A little boy goes to his father and asks ‘Daddy, how was I born?’ The father answers, ‘Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: ‘You got Male!’ IN DYER NEED OF AUTOMOTIVE SERVICE? For a good, honest mechanic, call Brian Dyer, 12+ years serving Dayton area! Dayton Valley Service (775)2467661 SAVE BIG ON VEHICLE OPERATION, MAINTENANCE and purchasing! One of a kind services, affordable rates, individuals and fleets, automotiveeconomics.com (775)404-4988

Happy June Birthdays!

TOP CASH FOR ANTIQUE MINING, RAILROAD, Indian, Cowboy, Gambling Items; Lamps, Toys, Bottles, Advertising, Costume Jewelry, Indian and Mexican Tourist Jewelry, Glass Beads, Rhinestones any condition, please call Ron (775)782-3893

Blowing out another candle should mean that you have lived another year of joy, and that you’ve made this world a better place. Make every day of your life, and every candle, count. Have a delightful birthday!

MOTORCYCLE AND V TWIN ACCESSORIES, Tires, Upgrades, Repair and Service, Cujo’s Hog House, 1435 Industrial Way, Unit C, Gardnerville (800)979-2856

15” WASHER/DRYER PEDESTALS IN excellent condition, $225 for the pair, Wellington (775)293-4661

Tahoe/Douglas Elks Lodge #2670 Presents....

LICENSED AND BONDED ELECTRICIAN, ADDITIONS, Remodels, Extra Outlets, Switches, Light Fixtures, Ceiling Fans, Trouble Shooting and Power Panel upgrades, etc., 18 Years Experience, Free Estimates, Senior Discount, NV#52647, Degenspark Electric (775)267-4229 HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, Remodels, Garages, We Do It All! Free Estimates, 21 Years Experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453 WEEKLY LAWN CARE, DETHATCHING AND AERATION, 13+ years experience, reliable, quality service, serving Carson Valley, Carson Valley Lawn Care, Insured (775)230-2546

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Horse Crazy Cowgirl Band, In Concert, Saturday, July 16th, 2016, No-host Bar opens at 5pm, Dinner at 6pm, Show at 7:15pm, Tickets $25 for dinner and show, $30 after July 10th. 1227 Kimmerling Rd., Gardnerville Ranchos, Call Karen (310)503-9340 for tickets. HOT TUB SERVICE AND REPAIR, WEEKLY AND Bi Weekly service, Reasonable Rates, Private Homes and Vacation Rentals, Call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tub’s (775)267-2490 GREG’S SMALL ENGINE SERVICE AND REPAIR! All Lawn Mowers, Snow Blowers, Portable Generators, Tillers, Shredders; On Site Pick-Up and Delivery, Serving Carson City, Carson Valley, Dayton, Alpine County, Virginia City - gregtenbroeck@yahoo.com or visit us at gregsmallengine.com (775)790-0435 or (530)307-1132

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Spray Can

A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful he began to cry. A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. “I feel terrible,” he explained. “I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it.” The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. 50 meters away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two again, hopped down the road another 50 meters, turned, waved, and hopped another 50 meters. The man was astonished. He couldn’t figure out what substance could be in the woman’s spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, “What was in your spray

A Touch of Class Craft Show…

now in its 16th year, is seeking talented crafters with unique, quality products. Strictly juried, different show format. Show dates October 13th-15th, 2016 at Carson Valley Inn, Shannon Ballroom. Email atouchofclasscraftshow@gmail.com or Sue, atouchofclassnv.com or (775)265-1097 PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, Remodels, New Construction, Residential and Commercial, Since 1997, Bonded and Insured. Guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)6901441 POND EQUIPMENT, BECKETT SUBMERSIBLE pump 5000 GPH, skimmer, Purifalls biological filter/ waterfall unit with simulated waterfall stone and filtration media; approximately 75’x2” diameter hosing, instructions $75 OBO (775)266-4884 BUYING OR SELLING REAL ESTATE? LET AN experienced, professional realtor guide you to a successful outcome. Contact Jim Darrough of Realty Executives, he can and will help you, nvrebroker@charter.net or (775)790-4848

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can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?” The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: “ ‘Hare Spray’ Restores Life to Dead Hare. Adds Permanent Wave.” TWO PUREBRED BOER GOAT DOES, SISTERS, triplet producers, open, $300 each, with breeding to Champion Sudden Impact, $400 each www.northernnvboergoats.com Wellington (775)781-0243

C.F.I. CERTIFIED CARPET, HARDWOOD, VINYL, no charge for furniture or tear-out. Three-year labor warranty! Residential and Commercial Competitive pricing, JS Flooring (775)267-4123

WNC Driver Education

WNC offers a 30 Hour New Driver Education classes throughout spring of 2016. In person class fee is $100. Saturday classes are four Saturdays in a row, excluding a legal holiday weekend. All in person class times are 8:30am-4:30pm with a 30-minute lunch break. Also included in our classes are guest speakers - law enforcement, insurance agents, DMV and sometimes a tire representative. Two things to remember all new drivers under the age of 18 MUST take a 30-Hour New Driver Education class to obtain a Nevada Driver’s License and most insurance companies will offer a discount upon successful completion of our nationally recognized Drive Right program. Carson City - Summer schedule: Monday-Thursday June 6-9, June 20-23, July 5-8 (Tuesday-Friday), July 18-21 or August 1- 4, 2016. Douglas - summer schedule: Monday-Thursday June 13-16 or June 20-23, 2016. Fallon - summer schedule: Monday-Thursday - June 20-23, 2016 Fernley - summer schedule: Monday-Thursday June 13-16, 2016. All of WNC’s New Driver Education classes meet the 30 hour NRS requirement. New to the WNC New Driver Education offerings is an on-line 30-Hour New Driver Education course. Cost $90 and students have up to 60 days to complete the course. Register at www.campusce.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4463. CALLIBER COLLISION IS NOW IN CARSON CITY! Over 346 locations, Lifetime Guarantee, preferred shop for all major insurance companies, Free Estimates! Mention ad for free light detail, 405 Moses St., callibercollision.com or (775)887-9099

Congratulations Graduates! 43

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Never Stop Learning

On this, your graduation day all stand and give cheer to honor you for all the work you’ve done to get you here. As we rise and give applause be sure you don’t forget that learning is not over as your future plans are met. May you always be a listener and learn from all you meet always keep a student’s spirit and your life will be complete. Congratulations to all graduates! PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, References available, Boarding offered or visit your home; Horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065 JR’S POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE, ALL Quads, Dirt, Street Bikes, Chainsaws, Snowmobiles, Generators, any gas powered machines, 30 years experience! Dayton, jrpowersports.com or (775)241-2530 NEED HELP WITH YOUR COMPUTER? I CAN help! Computer troubleshooting, software installation, computer setup and tutoring, Albert (775)8411402 or (775)434-9394

FLOWMASTER EXHAUST SYSTEM, 2015/16 Colorado/Canyon - Cat Back - Stainless Steel - Value $700, Sell $300, Minden (714)981-7625 RUPERT’S GEMCUTTING AND JEWELRYUNIQUE Gifts, Custom Designing, Repairs. Specializing in Natural Stones and Precious Gemstone Jewelry, Carson City (775)882-5988 JOB FAIRS! INTERVIEWS! Are you prepared? A great resume is your key to success. Military discount. (DD214 required) Call The Resume Business now! (775)267-2711 REFURBISHED MOBILE HOMES LOOKING FOR Good Tenants! 1 and 2 Bedroom for Sale, Rent or to Own! Payment starting from $505 plus utilities, available now in Dayton, Silver Springs and Yerington, NV (775)316-0634 RENNER’S TRUE VALUE HARDWARE; Plumbing, Electrical, Post and Fence, Pre-mix Cement Bags, Toys, Pet Food, Household Cleaners, We have everything you need! Smith Valley, Wellington, TRE (775)465-2217

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WARDROBE, OAK FINISH, 3’WX5’H WITH bottom drawer $60; Orthomatic adjustable twin bed $200 ($1500 new); heavy duty plastic shelf unit 36”Wx24”Dx6’H, $10, Genoa (775)782-8789 BCHA TRAIL RIDERS WANTED FOR TRAIL CLEARING, etc.! We perpetuate wise use and enjoyment of back country trails not just for stock use, but also open for use by the general public. The BCHA of Nevada Carson Valley Chapter meets at Grandma Hattie’s in Carson City on the first Wednesday of each month. Come check us out. For more information, visit our web site at http://www.bchn.us or call (775)267-4201 COMPUTER PROBLEMS? ON SITE REPAIR and Training, PC and Network Configuration, Virus and Spyware removal, Serving Dayton and Carson, justin. nelson@goowy.com or call Justin (775)450-3735 SCI GRADING EXCAVATING ROAD WORK, House Pads, Drainage and Erosion Control, Septic Systems and Pumping, Wet and Dry Utilities, Demolition, Water and Dump Truck Service, NV#076958, CA#954210, Erik Viksna (530)306-2647 or (775)6299000 TRASH/JUNK HAULING AND DUMP RUNS, SERVING Douglas County, call Rich (775)315-7737

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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