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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
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MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE - Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 17+ Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 KEL TEC SUB 2000 9MM RIFLE $800; 500 ROUNDS 223 Barnes, steel case $400, no tax, no shipping (775)720-6076 CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! REPAIR, RE-STITCH, Replace; Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/Minden (775)267-4434 or (775)230-8706 ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, all water sports, furnished cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at eaglelakeheritage.com or (800)459-5179 WANTED; LICENSE PLATES, OLD MOTORCYCLE Helmets, Musical Instruments, Old Watches And Old Lighters, John (775)315-4930 GOLD JEWELRY: 2 KARAT DIAMOND RING, gold setting; tennis bracelet gold with 57 small diamonds; gold bracelet, see at Van Rensselaer Jewelers, Gardnerville (775)782-3476
HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 21 years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453 SCHWINN 3 WHEEL BIKE, LIKE NEW CONDITION, rode one hour $250 (775)265-5148 MOVING SALE! FRIDAY AND SATURDAY JUNE 25th and 26th, 7am-4pm; new garage door opener, 5th wheel hitch and so much more, 1376 Kittyhawk Ave. Gardnerville PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)2916827
Talking too much in school
Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good...mostly A’s and a couple of B’s. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: “Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.” Sally’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: “Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.”
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Riches
The summer before my 10th birthday my father and mother moved our family of nine children to a farm! We had always lived in a small city, in the house my dad bought from my grandparents. But he wanted fresh air, healthy food and lots of room for his children to play. He’d worked multiple jobs at a time and saved for many years...and could finally afford a place in the countryside. Now a minor concern: the house had no running water or electricity. But there were 150 acres to run around in, walk through the woods in, swim a creek in, and otherwise yell, sing, giggle and laugh in every day! That first year my dad put in electricity, because my mom flat-out announced, “I won’t have kerosene lamps with children running around!” Indoor plumbing had to wait another year (an outhouse came with the property). Different friends, who my dad knew from work, asked if he’d take their large dogs who couldn’t run free in the city. So we all now played with a big tawny boxer and a sporty German Shorthaired Pointer, who we simply named Billy and Molly. Absolutely all our clothes were hand-me-downs, bananas and oranges were “exotic” fruit that we’d see at holidays, and there was ONE birthday party a year! We’d take turns...once every 10 years a child would have his/ her own party! We thought we were rich. My mother was always singing, yelling, hugging, or praying. And she told us we were blessed with plenty! To this day, each of my siblings remember those years as an abundance of chores, laughter, arguing, making peace, and playing together! Every challenge was a game to outwit, and any failure was a chance to learn. Money was so scarce, but joy was everywhere. (by Lettie) HAVE A MOST WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY LINDY! I’m so proud of you, my daughter. A date we’ll always remember, July 14. Love you, Mom G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672
Where’s the rake?
I was doing yard work after the storm this weekend and my wife was about to take a shower. I realized that I couldn’t find the rake. I yelled up to my wife, “Where’s the rake?” She couldn’t hear me and she shouted back, “What?” I pointed to my eye, then I pointed to my knee and made a raking motion. Then my wife wasn’t sure and said, “What?” I repeated the gestures: “EYE KNEE THE RAKE.” My wife replied that she understands and signals back. She first points to her eye, next she points to her left breast, then she points to her bum, and finally to her crotch. Well, there is no way in hell I could even come close to that one. Exasperated, I went upstairs and asked her, “What the heck was that?” She replied, “EYE – LEFT TIT – BEHIND – THE BUSH.” HIGH DESERT FLOOR COVERING IS HIRING a flooring installer to work in and around Yerington/Smith Valley. Must have own tools, for details call (775)463-1186
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CASH PAID FOR – KNIVES; TOBACCO Pipes; Old Lanterns (Camping, RR); Old Camp / Backpack Stoves; Old Decoys / Hunting Stuff, Jeff (775)720-2577 JR POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE AND REPAIR, ALL makes, models and years; Quads, OHV, Dirt and Street Bikes; from tune up to full rebuild. 35 years experience! Dayton, jrpowersports.com or (775)241-2530
ACT 2 Consignment Hey LOOKI LU ! Where Are You??
Delight the Bride with something old, new, borrowed. ACT 2 offers gently used Clothing, Furniture, Household Items, Pictures and Glassware, 607 S. Main St. Yerington, Pat Riley (408)804-4010, Toni Harrison (775)781-6487 MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 34+ YEARS experience! Serving Carson Valley and surrounding areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351 MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501 “Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.”
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How much do humans sleep and more?
The average human spends 79 years, 28,835 days on earth. Humans, on average, spend a total of 227,468 hours, or 26 years, of their lives sleeping. According to the National Center on Sleep Disorders Research, this amount translates into onethird, or 33 percent, of a person’s total lifetime spent sleeping. On average we spend 7 years trying to get to sleep. What about eating? 4.5 years. That’s right, four and a half years of your life will be spent eating. What about screen time? Humans spend 8 years 4 months settling down to their favorite TV shows (72,720 hour long programs) and 3 years catching up on social media. What about exercise? On average humans spend 1 year 4 months (1583 days) exercising. Work? Whether daily grind or dream career, our jobs take up a lot of our time: 13 years on average (4,821 days) School? We often remember school as a huge part of our upbringing. In reality, we only spend around 334 days in primary and secondary school. And last but not least - Getting ready, women 136 days, men 46 days. (G. Curtis) USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539
July 4th - Independence Day
TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079
Here’s the thing about people with good hearts
They give you excuses when you don’t explain yourself. They accept the apologies you don’t give. They see the best in you. They always lift you up, even if that means putting their own priorities aside. They will never be too “busy” for you. They make time, even when you don’t. And you wonder why they’re the most sensitive people, the most caring people, why they are willing to give so much of themselves with no expectation in return. You wonder why their existence is not so essential to your well-being. It’s because they don’t make you work hard for the attention they give you. They accept the love they think they deserve - and you accepted the love you think you’re entitled to. Don’t take them for granted. Fear the day when a good heart gives up on you. Our skies don’t become grey out of nowhere, our sunshine does not allow the darkness to take over for no reason. A heart does not turn cold unless it’s been treated with coldness for a while. (by N. Zebian) GARAGE SALE, JULY 10TH, 10AM - 2PM; CHAMPION portable generator, wireless remote, patio set with umbrella, glass top table, 6 padded chairs and so much more, 1054 Chip Court, Minden
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” JACKRABBIT PLUMBING. INC NOW HIRING Apprentice and Journeyman Plumbers, Plumbing Service Technician, and Radiant Heating/Boiler Service Technicians for the Carson Valley/Reno area. Send resume to PO Box 1492 Gardnerville, NV 89410 or call (775)782-4274
The real meaning of
Independence Day in America
RENT ME FOR SUMMER CLEANING, PUT A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove (775)297-2320 WEEKLY LAWN CARE AND AERATION, 16+ years experience, quality service, serving Carson Valley, Carson Valley Lawn Care, Insured (775)230-2546 C. BARNHAM HANDYWOMAN - PAINTING, Sheetrock Repair, House Cleaning, Odd Jobs, crystalbarnham94@ gmail.com or (775)350-0613
Substitute Bus Drivers Wanted
Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for: Substitute School Bus Drivers, Starting Salary: $15.88/hour, Varied Hours up to 40 hours a week, Apply online: dcsd.k12.nv.us/employment to complete an application. HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)6915119 COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, davenportlandscape.com or (775)265-1491 or (775)721-8439
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Each year, on July 4th, I reflect on the blessing to have been born in a country where anything is possible and anyone, no matter economic background, heritage, culture, race, sexual preference, or religion has the opportunity to succeed. It is the reason why so many people around the world dream of coming here. Is America a perfect place? Of course not! We are a country wedded in paradox. We fight bitterly amongst ourselves but quickly come together when there are threats or tragedy at home and abroad. We are materialistic but generous when others need help. Even though we celebrate a level playing field of one person one vote, we allow special interests on all sides to dilute the power of those votes. There is racism, prejudice, poverty, and exclusion. Though each person has equal opportunity to succeed, we don’t all start at the same place with the same resources. Though we celebrate those who pull themselves up by their own bootstraps we willingly provide hand-outs to others who claim that they are victims and take advantage of the system. In America where opportunity abounds, there is not and will never be a level playing field. The brutal reality is that life is not fair in America. Bad things happen to good people. Bad people sometimes win. There is defeat, failure, and plenty of roadblocks. There are poor people and rich people. Some people have to work harder than others to get ahead because they were born into unfortunate circumstances, dangerous neighborhoods, non-existent parents, poor schools, poverty, or are immigrants held back by language and cultural barriers. Some believe the government uses taxation to penalize the success of those who have worked hard to make something of their lives. Others think that not everyone is paying their fair share. Some people give, some people take. Some people hustle and become phenomenally successful while others whine about their circumstances. If you live in America there are myriad external forces beyond your control. There will always be obstacles in your way. There will always be something or someone to complain about. However, when you allow these external forces to control your actions and thoughts you hand over control of your life to the government, the company, the boss, your heritage, your circumstances, the whims and opinions of others, and to your own internal voice that keeps telling you that BS story about “what you can’t do.” But what if you stood up and declared: “Starting today I will not depend on, wait on, or hope for luck, the lottery, the company, fate, or the government to help me change my life? I will take responsibility for my own life. I will set my own course. I will make my own success. I will take action. I will persist. I will find lessons in setbacks. I will look forward not backward. I will turn haters into motivators. I will be empowered by my circumstances not impeded by them. I can achieve whatever I
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want and nothing can hold me back. I own my future. This is my Independence Day!” True freedom is accepting and believing that you and you alone must be responsible for your life. This is how you take back control. This is how you reach your dreams. This is the spirit and foundation on which this great country was built. This is REAL independence. (by J. Blount) YARD ENHANCEMENT SERVICES, handyman, fence repair/rebuild, tree and brush trim/removal, defensible space improvement, hauling, dump runs, Gardnerville area, Kelly (209)352-0084 MOBILE MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE, OIL & Filter Change, Air Filter, Brake Radiator Fluid, Dead Battery, Chain Sprocket, Clutch Throttle, mmmaint64@gmail.com or (775)671-4137
Send me your...
The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she’d send her husband a text while she was out having coffee with a friend. She texted: If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you. The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back: I’m on the toilet. Please advise.
“YOUR HOMETOWN JUNK HAULER SINCE 1996!” Junk and Trash, etc, Carson Valley/Carson City, $279 a load plus dump fee, J.R.’s Hauling (775)265-6813 R&J TRUCKING IS STILL DELIVERING MINE TAILING, 25 years experience, call Roger (775)233-7337
Soar like an Eagle
Did you know that an eagle can foresee when a storm is approaching long before it breaks? Instead of hiding, the eagle will fly to some high point and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind can pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle soars above it. The eagle does not escape or hide from the storm instead it uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the stormy winds which others dread. When the storm of life or challenges hit us, we can rise above them and soar like the eagle which ride the winds of the storm. Don’t be afraid of the storms or the challenges in your life. Use it to lift you higher in your life. INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX preparation, Federal and all States, prior years, audit representation, 30 years experience, reasonable rates (775)3920418
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Shrinking Clothes
Pete went into the doctor’s office for his annual checkup, and the Doc asked if there was anything unusual he should know about. So Pete told the Doc that his suit must have shrunk over the last year, because it didn’t fit when he went to get ready for a wedding recently. The Doc said, “Suits don’t shrink just sitting in a closet. You probably put on a few pounds.” “That’s just it, Doc, I know I haven’t gained a single pound since the last time I wore it.” “Well, then,” said Doc, “You must have a case of Furniture Disease.” “What in the world is Furniture Disease?” asked Pete. “That’s when your chest starts sliding down into your drawers.”
HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30+ years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick–up and delivery, parts in one day! californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521
RELOADING SUPPLIES. POWDER, PRIMERS, bullets, brass, dies. Mostly rifle. Alan (775)265-5751
TWO ORIGINAL EAMES CHAIRS WITH MATCHING foot stools, Camel colored, Italian leather only ply frame and chrome steel supports, one chair repaired, both for $6,500, Marlene (775)463-7908
FOR SALE! 1948 STUDEBAKER TRUCK, CALL (775)2652129 YOUR DREAM VACATION IS CLOSER THAN YOU think! For a travel planning consultation call (714)381-6233 Felicity Clark/Genoa - Independent Travel Consultant, An Affiliate of Academy Travel - Specializing in Disney and Universal Destinations.
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Douglas County Republican Women’s...
July 7th meeting will be held at Valley Christian Fellowship, 1352 Hwy 395, Gardnerville. Our guest speakers will be Assemblyman Jim Wheeler and State Senator Settlemeyer recapping the Legislature news. Doors open at 11:00 a.m. The cost of lunch is $15.00. Reservations to Linda, lrcal1@aol.com or 775-782-5338. HOME INTEGRITY - ALL YOUR NEEDS INSIDE and out, Licensed, bonded, and insured, Charles (775)357-5715, Samantha (775)220-4252
MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627 LANDRIDE DRAG BOX, 48” WIDE, 4-RIPPERS, 3-point hook-up for small tractor $450 (775)884-3025
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Dogs’ views on changing light bulbs
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on the dog’s point of view.... GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? BORDER COLLIE: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. DACHSHUND: You know I can’t reach that stupid bulb! ROTTWEILER: Make me. LAB: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? MALAMUTE: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he’s busy. JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture. POODLE: I’ll blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. COCKER SPANIEL: Why change it? I can pee on the carpet in the dark. DOBERMAN PINSCHER: While it’s dark, I’m going to sleep on the sofa. BOXER: Who cares? I can play with my squeaky toys in the dark. MASTIFF: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark. CHIHUAHUA: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.IRISH WOLFHOUND: Can somebody else do it? I’ve got this hangover and.......... POINTER: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there! GREYHOUND: It isn’t moving. Who cares? AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle.... OLD ENGLISH SHEEP DOG: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb? HOUND DOG: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ And the CAT: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs and I am not one of them. So, the question is, how long will it be before I get some light in here?
Take your kid to work day
A father took his eight year old daughter to work on “Take your kid to Work Day” As they were walking around the office the girl started crying and getting very upset. As the staff gathered around, she sobbed loudly and said “Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?” SEMI-RETIRED FINISH CARPENTER- DOOR install/ repairs, security screens, deadbolts, shelving, molding and general carpentry repairs. Call Mark (775) 782-6198 or (775)790-5927
BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND re-colored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (775)233- 5297 CRAFTSMAN CONSTRUCTION LLC, SPECIALIZING in: New Construction, Additions, Remodels and Painting: Quality Workmanship with over 30 years experience, free estimates, Serving Carson Valley, NV Lic.60315, NVPainting Lic.82727 Find us on Facebook or (775)690-1749
Communication
A man comes home from the office and tells his wife he had a frustrating day at work. “Ahhhhh, tell me all about your day honey,” his wife says. The husband looks at her and says, “Well.. I just did.” BENNELLI 12 GAUGE M2 AUTO SHOTGUN. MARSH Cammo, 26” BBl, Call (775)901-1775 POPCORN MACHINE, ACE HARDWARE STYLE with popcorn $600; Plastic storage boxes with lids $8 each; Budweiser ‘After The Hunt’ bar light $50; 5 drawer file cabinet $25, Carson City (408)270-4028 CHAISE LOUNGE BOTTOM AND BACK PILLOWS, Nile Green, Damask upholstery 66”x30” $250, Marlene (775)4637908 “Beware the clever man that makes the wrong look right.”
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Operation Clean-Up
Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly. Today I’m putting a cockroach in the bathroom. DUCK DECOYS, WEIGHTS, VARIOUS SPECIES, call (775)901-1775 CUJO’S HOG HOUSE! V-TWIN Motorcycle repair, maintenance and accessories, also sales and service of Frankenstein Trike conversions, Factory Trained PHD and ASE Certified, 1430 Industrial Way, Unit C (in the back) (775)782-6051
Man in ecstasy
He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth...in and out...in and out. It was going on for 10 minutes at this point... Her heart was pounding...her face was flushed...then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder. Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted: “OK, OK! I can’t park the damn car! You do it, you schmuck!”
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” AMMO! AMMO! AMMO! 9MM, .45, 223, PROFESSIONAL factory reloads in stock (775)220-0911
The Oak Tree Poem
PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441
Common Famous Last Words
1. Hey yall, watch this! 2. Hey you! Yeah, you. You got a problem? 3. Honey, wait, I can explain! 4. Does that smell like gas to you? 5. I’m telling you, that sign says we’re going the wrong way! 6. Officer, this not a gun, it’s just my comb. 7. Are you sure you gave the ambulance our new address? 8. Okay, roger that. I’m cutting the blue wire. 9. That dog doesn’t look all that mean to me. 10. Don’t worry, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. 11. I don’t need those depression pills anymore. 12. Hey you, that sign says “No Smoking” for a reason! BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY! 40+ YEAR COLLECTION OF various auto parts, taillights, headlights and so much more $2,000 OBO, Gardnerville (775)309-8978 WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, bensonfeed.com, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)882-3999 ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)2654766
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When we are faced with the storms of life we sometimes aren’t sure we will make it through. However, we may find we bend and feel like we are not going to get through it, however, if we stand our ground and exhibit persistence and determination we will make it through. Watching a tree in a storm, seeing the wind bend the tree, swaying back and forth you would expect the tree to fall over. But when the roots of the tree are deep within the ground it allows the tree to sway back and forth with the wind - no matter how strong the wind is. Our lives are like that - You see each storm makes us stronger to face the next one. Your attitude and beliefs can keep you grounded and help you as you face life challenges. This poem about the oak tree encourages one to be like a tree when faced with issues in life. We can endure much more than we may imagine. We just have to stay grounded and stay true to our roots. And, it goes without saying stay true to yourself, to your values! And hang in there always remembering the storms of life do pass, the winds die down, and the sunshine and blue skies do appear again. The Oak Tree - A mighty wind blew night and day It stole the oak tree’s leaves away Then snapped its boughs and pulled its bark Until the oak was tired and stark. But still the oak tree held its ground While other trees fell all around The weary wind gave up and spoke, “How can you still be standing Oak?” The oak tree said, “I know that you Can break each branch of mine in two, Carry every leaf away, Shake my limbs, and make me sway. But I have roots stretched in the earth Growing stronger since my birth, You’ll never touch them, for you see They are the deepest part of me. Until today, I wasn’t sure Of just how much I could endure But now I’ve found, with thanks to you I’m stronger than I ever knew.” (Poet Johnny Ray Ryder Jr.) CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWELRY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred. Please leave phone number and clear message on my NEW phone number. I return all calls. Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352 FREE KING SIZE WOOD HEADBOARD WITH hardware, you haul (775)885-9872
Attention Yard Sale-ers!
FISH Flea Market 2nd Saturday in June, July and August from 8am-2pm. Sign up to sell your stuff or just come and enjoy the fun! Raffle for vendors, refreshments for all! Information: Renee (775)882-3474 “Today’s tears water tomorrow’s gardens.”
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” What is aging?
Current prices
A sales clerk asked his boss how to handle people who complain about the current prices compared to the low prices in the good old days. “Just act surprised and tell them you didn’t think they were old enough to remember them.” 1967 CHRYSLER NEWPORT, $2,500, CALL DAVE AT (775)230-3626 PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, cabinets and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, (775)781-5531
I am 54 years old now. Actually I should say my body is 54 years old now. On the inside I am still a bit confused about it all. Part of me is still that 5 year old boy running outside all day long playing with his dog and making silly faces in the mirror when he brushes his teeth before bed. Part of me is still that awkward teenager, looking at his gawky face in the mirror, hoping that his zits will clear up soon. Part of me is still that young man in his 20’s combing his thick, wavy hair and trimming his moustache. Part of me is still that guy in his late 30’s wondering why his hair is turning gray so soon and why it is getting so thin on top. Part of me is the guy I am today, looking in the mirror with his gray hair, deep wrinkles, and partially bald head, wondering why I look so old when I still feel so young. Maybe our bodies aren’t the best barometer for judging aging. I have known people in their 70’s and 80’s who are far younger than I am. I have known people in their 20’s who are grumpy, old cranks compared to me. Maybe aging is a process. We start out young and innocent. We grow old and worried. Then we grow young and wise. Often it takes a long time to realize what life is all about. It takes time to give up our fears for love. It takes time to see just how much God loves us. It takes time to realize that “The coat of have can never cover the growing body of want.” It takes time to see that happiness comes from living and loving NOW not working for some perfect future that never arrives. We need to see that aging isn’t that person we see in the mirror. We need to see that aging is growing. Aging is growing better, kinder, more loving, and more one with God. We need to see that on the inside we are both ageless and forever young. Then we can freely love God, ourselves, and everyone else. Then we can truly live today and for all eternity. (J. Mazzella) WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192 FREE TO A GOOD HOME 22’, 1977 CATALINA SAILBOAT with trailer. Please text or leave a message for Dave with your name and phone number at (775)450-3873 TRUCKING, DUMP TRUCK, BOBCAT/LOADER, Excavation and Water Truck Services, call Wade Draper - EMS Transport at (775)690-1671 HELP WANTED, APPLY IN PERSON, will train, Iggy and Squiggy’s Trailerhood Grill and Bar, Holbrook Junction
The Tell-Tale Sign
A bank clerk is talking with her colleague. ‘I think now-adays my beauty has been decreasing.’ ‘Why do you think that?’ asked the colleague. ‘The men who are withdrawing cash at my counter are actually counting their money.’ $200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461
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ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $499, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994 AMERICAN FUND RESEARCH AMMUNITION for sale, various calibers, call for details (775)720-6076
Going to the Prom
So, Johnny and his girl Sally are going to prom this Saturday. But, before they can go, Johnny needs to make sure they have a perfect night. So, Friday comes, and Johnny goes out to get his tuxedo. When he gets to the tux rental store, there’s this ridiculously long line. But he needs the tux, so Johnny waits. And he waits, and waits until finally, he has his tux. Next, he needs a limo. So he goes to the limousine rental shop and finds that there’s an even longer line there. But he needs the limo, so he waits. And he waits, and waits, and waits, until finally, he has the limo ordered. Johnny realizes he needs some new kicks, so he stops by a shoe store to get himself some nice shoes. When he goes to pay, he sees the longest line yet. But he needs the shoes, so he waits. And he waits, and waits, and waits, and waits, and waits, until finally, he’s got his new shoes. Saturday, Johnny’s ready to pick up his girl. He drives over to her house, picks her up, and they head to prom. At the dance, they’re having a great time, dancing, playing at the casino, hanging out with friends. Soon, though, Sally gets thirsty, and asks Johnny for a drink. Being the good guy he is, Johnny obliges.So Johnny walks over to the punch table, and what do you know... there’s no punch line. 40 CALIBER AMMO: WINCHESTER, MOSTLY hollow point, some Ranger T-series. 1500 rounds available, $500 per 500, Gardnerville (562)598-8988 SPECIALIZING IN GARAGES, ADDITIONS, REMODELS, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, Redline Construction Inc. (775)781-3955 BERGARA B14 RIFLE 22-250 NIB, $550, CALL (775)9011775 ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)721-2880
What?
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use (on the average) only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. Looking stunned, he said, “What?” WEEKLY LAWN CARE AND AERATION, 17+ years experience, quality service, Insured, serving Carson Valley, Carson Valley Lawn Care (775)230-2546
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Reasons why growing up in the 80s was totally B*tchin’
Husband and Wife go Golfing
A husband and wife who are avid golfers have been happily married for 30 years, and on the day of their 30th anniversary they enjoy a wonderful day together. They have a delicious breakfast in bed, then proceed to one of their favorite golf courses. They play through to the 9th hole, both having an amazing game. The husband watches his beautiful wife tee off and feels a rush of emotion and guilt. “Honey, I have to tell you something. At the very beginning of our marriage, I was with another woman. It only happened once and I’ve been faithful ever since. It was a mistake and I hope you can forgive me.” The wife looks fondly at him. “I forgive you. We’ve had a very happy life together. I love you.”The husband is so relieved, feeling light as a feather. They play a few more holes in bliss when suddenly the wife turns to her husband. “Honey, I too have something to confess.” The husband smiles and says, “Anything dear - you were so gracious to me, and we can make it through anything.” “Before we met, I had an operation. I used to be a man.” The husband throws his club down and starts swearing and kicking up turf. The wife is in shock. “But I forgave you for your secret!” The husband, red faced, turns to her and says, “All these years! All these years you’ve been teeing off from the ladies tee box you cheater!!” BLACK VINYL SINGLE SLEEPER SOFA, VERY cushiony $50, heavy steel frame bed, Marlene (775)463-7908
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Ahhhh, the 80s. Michael Jackson and Madonna. Aqua Net and banana clips. Jelly shoes and Sweet Valley High books. If you spent a great chunk of your childhood kicking the can around your neighborhood’s streets in this totally tubular and bitchin’ decade, you probably wax nostalgic about it pretty damn often. And why wouldn’t you? It was like, soooo, like, rad, and, like, anyone who thinks differently can just zip it because growing up in the 80s was SCHWEET! So if you can recall with perfect clarity what order the songs were on the Thriller album, and you never left home without your Lip Smackers and Babysoft perfume, consider yourself to have been raised in the most trippin’ of times, and here’s why… 1. Street Light Rules - What was the one totally unbreakable rule that every kid on the street had to live by? We all needed to be home when the streetlights came on. An entire generation survived and made it home in time for dinner based on the neighborhood’s light timers. Good. Times. 2. Birthday Parties At Home - Pre-Pinterest birthdays at home, where your mom baked a cake from a box mix (and left it in the pan to eat), you drank bright red Kool-Aid from Dixie cups, played freeze-tag in the yard, and nobody went home with a goody bag. They did, however, go home exhausted and happy — no goody bag required. And if you were really lucky, you had your best girlfriends sleep over, and you prank-called people all night long, while listening to Pat Benatar and eating Jello Pudding Pops. 3. Biking Everywhere - And I mean everywhere. To the 7/11 for Slurpees, to the empty lot to play hide-and-seek, to school and the library and back. Anywhere our bikes could traverse, so could we. Suck it, Uber. 4. Saturday Morning Cartoons - Remember how exciting Saturday mornings were because finally there were cartoons on TV? And admit it — the only reason you really know that a bill goes to Capitol Hill is because of Schoolhouse Rock, not your middle school history teacher. 5. Cheap Concert Tickets, Casey Kasem’s Top 40 Countdown, and MTV Played Music - Long-distance dedications, the ability to see Cyndi Lauper LIVE for $12, and an MTV channel that actually played music videos 24 hours a day. Who didn’t want to be Martha Quinn when they grew up? 6. No Cellphones, Social Media, or 24-Hour News Cycles Which translates into less comparison because nobody knows what anyone else is really doing (perfect family Facebook posts didn’t exist), more face-to-face human connections and interactions, and the 6 o’clock news told you all you really needed to know. Sanity saved. 7. Trust Between Neighbors - Remember really knowing your neighbors? Remember never hesitating to ask them for a cup of sugar, or to watch your kids, or to look over your house while you’re on vacation? Remember not worrying they would call Child Protective Services on your mom when she told you to go play outside all day alone (and don’t come back until, well, the streetlight rule)? 8. No Parent Organized or Supervised Playdates - Want to hang out with kids your own age and play hide and seek for 12 hours then have a marathon game of Clue? Great. Then get on your bike and GO FIND THEM YOURSELF. Knock, knock, “Can Mary come out and play?” Can we please bring that back
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to childhood today? 9. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Oh Sweet Freedom. No GPS tracking. No Life 360 on our phones. No adult in our face — watching, approving, organizing, structuring, or supervising every single thing we did. Every decision we made about how to spend our free time, we made. There is something so refreshingly liberating about a childhood that gives responsibility and independence back to the child, and that is something all children of the 80s were lucky enough to enjoy. Is it possible to raise kids nowadays with the same level of freedom we had in the 80s? Is it possible to rewind the technology clock and let our kids live their days without being held hostage to constant connection, to online societal and social media pressures, and to our over-the-top safety conscious parenting methods? It is, but it takes some serious holding back on our
part as parents. But as hard as it is to let them grow (and go) it’s worth it, because one day I want my kids to tell me how great it was growing up in 2017. (by M. Fenton) WE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR PETS IN YOUR home, all sizes, we WILL spoil them as you do, call for meet and greet, 10+ years experience, housekeeping available too, Serving Carson City, Douglas County, Dayton, Johnnell and Al (209)986-6381 PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, inside or out, Fences (775)901-1912
Happy July Birthdays!
Another year comes to a close, and another begins. May the coming year be one that will be filled with laughter of friends, love of family, and the life that you dream of. Happy birthday! FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)782-8776 MOBILE EQUIPMENT REPAIR, AUTOS and small to heavy equipment, 25+ years experience, Silva and Sons jeremysilva1975@gmail.com or (707)761-0928
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Three Words
A woman is sitting at a bar enjoying a drink with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome man enters. He is so striking that the woman cannot take her eyes off him. The man notices her overly attentive stares and walks directly toward her. Before she can offer her apologies for rudely staring he leans over and whispers, “I’ll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do for $20. But only on one condition.” Flabbergasted, the woman asks what the condition is. “You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.” The woman considers his proposition for a moment and then removes a $20 bill from her purse, which she presses into the man’s hand along with her address. She then looks deeply into his eyes, and slowly, and meaningfully says, “Clean my house!” GENEALOGY - THOROUGH RESEARCH OF FAMILY histories. A unique gift for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or yourself! www.PersonalPedigree.com or Lisa (775)450-3175 TAKE CARE OF YOUR LOVED ONES. WILLS and Trusts. Day R. Williams, Attorney at Law, 1601 Fairview Drive, Suite C, Carson City, NV. Call Day today! (775)8858398
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MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 40+ years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919
Are you listening to me?
I hate it when my wife says “Are you listening to me?!” Such a random way to start a conversation. 2000 FORD MUSTANG GT, 320K MILES, ASKING $2,000 (775)781-2553 2004 HONDA CRV, AUTOMATIC 4 WHEEL DRIVE, 156,000 miles, runs excellent $4,500 (775)901-0717 LAWN MAINTENANCE, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, HOA, Weekly Lawn Care, Fertilizing, Equal Payment Plans, Package Programs, Licensed And Bonded, 25 Years Serving Carson Valley, Total Lawn & Landscape (775)782-3505 SMITH AND WESSON MODEL 629 44 MAGNUM in stainless steel with black factory rubber grips, still brand new in box (916)257-1376 JUNIPER, TREE & STUMP REMOVAL. Aerating & detaching. Lawn Service. Excavating. Sprinkler repair. Earth, Turf & Timber Landscape Maintenance (775)450-1955
I have a Speling Cheker
I have a speling cheker. It came with my PC. It plane lee marks four my revue Miss steaks aye can knot see. Eye ran this poem threw it. Your sure real glad two no. Its very polished in its weigh, My checker tolled me sew. A checker is a blessing. It freeze yew lodes of thyme. It helps me right awl stiles too reed, And aides me when aye rime. Each frays comes posed up on my screen Eye trussed too be a joule. The checker pours o’er every word To cheque sum spelling rule Bee fore a veiling checkers Hour spelling mite decline, And if we’re laks oar have a laps, We wood bee maid to wine. Butt now bee cause my spelling Is checked with such grate flare, There are know faults with in my cite, Of nun I am a wear. Now spelling does not phase me, It does knot bring a tier. My pay purrs awl due glad den With wrapped words fare as hear. To rite with care is quite a feet Of witch won should be proud, And wee mussed dew the best wee can, Sew flaws are knot aloud. Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays Such soft wear four pea seas, Any why eye brake in two averse By righting want too please. GET FAST INTERNET! UP TO 40 MBPS, WIRELESS! (not satellite, not DSL). Great in rural areas, www.ruralinternet.us or call Patrick (775)297-4777 “A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.”
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Re-luster / Refurbish / Disinfect Kitchen Cabinets
Don’t paint-out or replace your existing cabinetry until you look at our services. The Great Basin has the highest UV and driest climate in the USA, damaging your cabinets’ finish. We have a whole new method and new concepts, with years of experience developed right here, for our climate! Our less intrusive process is many times less costly than painting or replacing! You don’t empty your cabinets! In just a few days, in & out for basic refurbishing. Add a day or two for color options like tinting/glazing. We have exclusive and proprietary professional products to enhance, renew and refurbish over your original finish! We normally work 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.; and clean-up & sanitize by 4:30 p.m., returning to your kitchen at 9:00 a.m.the next morning. Our deep cleaning professional and refurbishing products are hand rubbed, dustless, UV protective and EPA Nev. & Calif. Compliant! Yes, we have been and will continue to kill bacteria and disinfect, to our Guidelines! For inspections, sampling, client testimonials, written ‘Covid19 Sanitizing Program’, e-mail: danakathy-pc@hotmail.com OR call: ‘Cabinets Etc.’, Dana @ (775)781-7462 or Kathy @ (775)782-7821. NV. Lic. #18331, CA. Lic. #310071.
It’s tick season! Check your pets! 22
WICKWARE LTD, STEEL CONSTRUCTION, gates, metal building erection, welding and repair of off highway equipment, furnish and install of structural and ornamental steel, anything steel, anywhere in Nevada. Contractor’s License #87042, Insured and bonded. We are local to Northern NV since 1992, 100% Nevada owned, Clean background, Free estimates, Christopher - Ironchris1974@gmail.com or (775)450-6921
Do You Take Anything?
Old Aunt Cora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her troublesome constipation. “It’s terrible,” she said to the doctor. “I haven’t moved my bowels in more than a week.” “I see. Have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor. “Oh, yes,” Aunt Cora replied, “I sit in the bathroom for a good half of an hour in the morning and then again at night.” “No,” the doctor said, “I mean do you take anything?” “Of course I do.” she answered, “I take a magazine!” JAMES THE TECH GUY, IN-HOME services at a fair price, setup TV’s, computers, internet, security cameras, computer lessons (775)515-2316 HYDRAULIC CYLINDER REPAIR AND REBUILD, All makes models and year, Commercial Equipment, Tractors, Fork Lifts, Log splitters, Farm equipment, Dump Trucks and Trailers, Boats and RVs, Welding and Machining, Ramco Fabrication, shawn@ramcofab.com or (775)267-7358
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Who says men don’t remember?
A couple were holiday shopping. The shopping center was packed , and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and she became so worried that she called him on her cell phone to ask him where he was. In a quiet voice he said, “Do you remember the jewelers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn’t afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?” The wife choked up and started to cry and said, “Yes, I do remember that shop.” He replied, “Well, I’m in the bar next door.” BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, snow removal, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629
VFW Breakfast
Topaz VFW Post 3630 is hosting a monthly breakfast at the TRE Community Center on the 4th Saturday of the month, 8:00am - 9:30am. The breakfast is to rally support for Veterans by bringing together families and friends for a fun event that includes good food, a raffle and a 50/50 drawing, $5.00 Adults, $3.00 Children under 10, 3939 Carter Way (TRE)
Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, (775)782-4520 PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@ aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065 PART TIME EMPLOYMENT, NON-PROFIT AGENCY; flexible hours working with seniors. Positions available in Topaz, Coleville, Walker and Bridgeport, California. Call for more information (530)495-2700
Substitute Custodians Wanted
Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for: Substitute Custodian, flexible hours and days, evening/swing shifts, Salary: $17.08/hour, Apply online: dcsd.k12. nv.us/employment to complete an application. Happy Birthday to my brother Jim! I wish you all the joy that you deserve and more. May this upcoming year be decorated with the bright colors of longevity, prosperity, happiness, and love. Love Lisa
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Come join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church
Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 5pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590 D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)671-0808 SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two story houses, based in Minden area, call John (831)801-0003 DO YOU NEED TO REPLACE YOUR WORN out concrete driveway, patio, or walkway? We also install new patios, driveways, monolithic garage slabs, retaining walls, footings, and stemwalls. K&C Construction, NV LIC # 79034, 79237, 81038, 86464. To get a free quote call at (775)691-6462
First Date
It was their first date, and he had shown the patience of a saint as she babbled on and on about her hobbies, her pet peeves, her driving techniques, and even the standards she used to choose her beautician. Finally, she came up for air and said, “But enough about me. Let’s talk about you.” He breathed a sigh of relief. She went on, “What do you think about me?”
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1998 TOYOTA FORERUNNER, AUTOMATIC V-6, 267,000 miles, runs great $3,800 (775)901-0717 RUSSELL’S TREE SERVICE, #1 ARTISTRY IN TREE Care; Shaping, Balancing, Removals, Stump Grinding, Fruit Trees, Hedges, Ornamental Pruning, Serving your area, Licensed/Insured (775)685-0528
Rosebuds
The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just has a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that. The teenager tells her “Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!” and out she goes. The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate. “Loosen up, sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets.” FOR SALE: FRONT END LOADER, FORKLIFT, rear plow attachment spade plow, disc plow for Groundhog ATV (ATV not included). Comes with hydraulic pump, electronic control unit and 4 hydraulic rams. Three rams for front end loader and one ram for rear plow attachment. All hardware present, Ends of hydraulic lines have been carefully bagged and zip tied. Call Dave at (775)230-3626
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The American Work Ethic
In primitive society
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf. Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles. The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often. There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly -- or start cheating. An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice - once before swinging, and once again, after swinging. Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize or laugh. Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind. There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies. Golf got its name because all of the other four letter words were taken. 2000 FORD EXPLORER LIMITED, 222,000 ORIGINAL miles, bullet-proof drive-train, clean, great commuter, will not be disappointed, $3,000 OBO, call Keith or Grace after 6pm (775)267-1869 or (775)720-0280 AFFORDABLE NEVADA CCW CLASSES $50, tacaimfirearmsinstruction.com or (775)360-5214 Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag pile carpet to change the TV channel.
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For more than a century much of the world has marveled at the American work ethic and American productivity. How long will that continue? Probably like most readers, as a kid, when I wasn’t in school, I worked. Starting at age five, I began doing yard work and odd jobs for neighbors and local businesses. When I got a bit older, I got summer and after-school jobs (the latter when not involved in sports). Obviously, I had no skills, so most of the jobs involved manual labor, much of it fairly arduous. On the occasions when I couldn’t find a job I became selfemployed — painting houses, digging trenches, mowing lawns, putting up fences. Almost all of my friends had jobs or were selfemployed also. Not working was a source of deep embarrassment. Once, the summer after eighth grade, I had no work for maybe one to two weeks, and not for lack of effort (we typically began lining up summer jobs the preceding October and November). One of my best friends chided me for “being on welfare.” The statement stung so much — so profound was the stigma of not working — that we almost came to blows. Is that changing? An observation: When I bought my house years back, two neighborhood boys appeared almost instantly to rake leaves, cut grass, paint the tool shed, etc. They worked hard and well — both after school and during breaks. When they moved away, another boy performed some of the same work for about a year. For the last 20 years, however, no one’s asked to do any work, even though it’s clear to anyone in the neighborhood there’s work to be had. I’ve sought kids out who, it’s plain to see, have no jobs, but I have been largely unsuccessful. For example, I recently asked two teenage boys who’d spent most of the summer playing basketball at a nearby playground if they wanted to earn some cash doing some yard work. They promise to come over Saturday morning. Saturday arrives, no call, no show. I try again the next week. More promises, but again, no call, no show. I’ve heard similar stories in recent years from lots of friends and employers. Yes, several anecdotes don’t amount to statistical evidence and I encounter hardworking kids all the time. But the expectation, the presumption of hard work doesn’t appear to be anywhere near as pervasive as in the past. (By J. Kirsanow) PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081 HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 1950-60’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)291-6827
Old school friend
I bumped into an old school friend at the store today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports cars. Then he pulled out his phone and showed me a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I said, “If you think she’s gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend.” He said, “Why? Is she a stunner?” I said, “No, she’s an optometrist.”
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Updates from the Sixties and Seventies
These are some baby boomer Rock stars revised hits with new lyrics. They include: Bobby Darin’s: “Splish, Splash, I Am Having A Flash!” Herman’s Hermits: “Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Walker!” Ringo Starr: “I Get By With A Little Help From Depends!” The Bee Gees: “How Can You Mend A Broken Hip? ♬ Roberta Flack: “The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face!” Johnny Nash: “I Can’t See Clearly Now! Paul Simon: “Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver” The Commodores: “Once, Twice, Three times To The Bathroom!” Procol Harem: “A Whiter Shade Of Hair!” Leo Sayer: “You Make Me Feel Like Napping!” The Temptations: “Papa’s Got A Kidney Stone!” Abba: “Denture Queen!” Tony Orlando: “Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall!” Helen Reddy: “I Am Woman; Hear Me Snore!” The Beatles: “I Get By with a Little Help From Depends” Steely Dan: “Rikki Don’t Lose Your Car Keys” The Rolling Stones: “You Can’t Always Pee When You Want” Credence Clearwater Revival: “Bad Prune Rising” The Who: “Talkin’ ‘Bout My Medication” The Troggs: “Bald Thing” And, last, but NOT least, Leslie Gore: “It’s My Procedure, and I’ll Cry If I Want To!” ALL SEASONS - STURDY HANDRAILS, INSIDE - out, large or small, flat or stepped areas, single rail or options available, all metal custom built and installed (775)790-6445 2008 FORD RANGER 15” TIRES, RIMS, APPROXIMATELY 200 miles on set of four $200, Genoa (530)513-8150
Italian Bread
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend’s stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year old said, “well I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you’ll have great stamina with the ladies.” So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, “Do you have any Italian bread?” He said, “Yes, there’s a whole shelf of it, would you like some?” He said, “I want 5 loaves.” She said , “My goodness, 5 loaves...it’ll get hard.” He replied, “Does everybody in the world know about this Italian bread but ME”? NDM-86 DRAGONOV COMPLETE, PLUS EXTRAS and a full case of 7N1 ammunition, Asking $11,000 or best offer, contact Pete at (775)315-4285 The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers. POOL TABLE FOR SALE, INCLUDES CUE STICKS and pool balls, $100, you move (775)790-1176 If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Call or text Joanne at (775)4302352
A Special Hymn
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon; with great expression he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” And then finally, he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: “Shall We Gather at the River.” 30-06 AMMUNITION, FEDERAL 150 GRAIN SOFT point 30 rounds (775)267-1239 SUTRO LANDSCAPING, ONE CALL DOES IT all; lawn care, aerating and thatching, sprinkler systems, sod installation and planting, clean-ups and much more, Free Estimates, Operated by owner, NV#50048 (775)246-4871 or (775)2913095
God Bless America!
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KENNY AND COLLEEN’S STUMP GRINDING services, K&C stump grinding services, Call (917)362-3181 or (410)739-4052
Douglas County Democrats
The Douglas County Democrats will hold their annual picnic at Mormon Station on Saturday, July 31st. Join us for good food, good friends and good times. For more information check our website at DouglasDems.org “A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.”
Crumpled up
I had been thinking about coloring my hair. One day while going through a magazine, I came across an ad for a hair-coloring product featuring a beautiful young model with hair a shade that I liked. Wanting a second opinion, I asked my husband, “How do you think this color would look on a face with a few wrinkles?” He looked at the picture, crumpled it up, straightened it out and studied it again. “Just great, hon.” HOT TUB SERVICE, WEEKLY AND BI WEEKLY service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, hot tub cover sales, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)267-2490
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” For Our Country
Almighty God, who hast given us this good land for our heritage: We humbly beseech thee that we may always prove ourselves a people mindful of thy favor and glad to do thy will. Bless our land with honorable industry, sound learning, and pure manners. Save us from violence, discord, and confusion; from pride and arrogance, and from every evil way. Defend our liberties, and fashion into one united people the multitudes brought hither out of many kindreds and tongues. Endue with the spirit of wisdom those to whom in thy Name we entrust the authority of government, that there may be justice and peace at home, and that, through obedience to thy law, we may show forth thy praise among the nations of the earth. In the time of prosperity, fill our hearts with thankfulness, and in the day of trouble, suffer not our trust in thee to fail; all which we ask through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (by Rev. George Lyman Locke 1892) HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK repair, replace, resurface and remove, trash removal, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235 “A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter65@ gmail.com or (775)530-8932 EXPERIENCED CLASS A CDL DRIVERS NEEDED immediately to drive mixer trucks in Yerington, NV. Full time position. Call (775)463-0199
THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)2655541 or (775)901-1848
“Butt Lady” of Auburn
Cigarette butts account for an estimated 1.69 billion pounds of trash each year – and a good number of them never even find their way into proper trash receptacles. Instead, many of them are ingested by aquatic creatures, wildlife, and pets, or simply left to languish in streets everywhere as litter. Sick and tired of seeing her town of Auburn, California marred by the toxic trash, resident Sally Dawly decided that she would make it her aim to pick up every stray butt she encountered — and she kept count. Incredibly, after 3.5 years, Dawly collected over one million thoughtlessly discarded cigarette butts. “Don’t throw your butts,” she said. “Better yet, stop smoking.” HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)267-1958 JEEP SEATS - DRIVER AND PASSENGER HIGH back with headrests and pedestals for ‘85 CJ, black in good condition $200, Paul (775)841-6171
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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
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