January17ScoopWebEdition

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home.

Dependable, affordable! Over 14 Years Experience.

Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570

1970 HOMEBUILT, ONE AXLE BOX TRAILER, solid steel and wood with decent tires and lights, 46”W x 72”L, sides 15” to 20”, NV title, have owned since 1976 $350 OBO, day cell, Minden (775)901-1920

WHIRLPOOL, SELF CLEANING GAS RANGE, white, $100; Kenmore microwave $50 (775)392-0012

MASTER HOROLOGIST, CLOCK REPAIR, MUSEUM Quality Furniture, Chair Caning and Antique Everything Restoration, Grandfather Clock House Calls!

A-1 Restorations since 1967, Larry (775)782-2422

REDLINE CONSTRUCTION, INC., SPECIALIZING in garages, additions, remodels, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, (775)781-3955

1966 ALUMINUM HULL 17’ SMITH CRAFT WITH trailer, 80 horse Evinrude outboard with trolling motor and fish finder $1,000 OBO (775) 265-0742

1923 ROOKWOOD SHAPE NUMBER 1781, 6½” tall vase, yellow vellum with green floral print top, L.A. initials, appraised at $650 $500 OBO, questions/offers via PO Box 202, Minden, NV 89423

GOT ART? COME SEE OUR NEW SELECTION of contemporary, rustic frames, Lone Tree Frame Company, 1497 Hwy. 395 N., Gardnerville (775)782-2522

HYDRAULIC AND PNEUMATIC AIR CYLINDERS repair and rebuild, log splitters, tractors, farm equipment, dump trucks and trailers, etc. all makes and models. Machining, welding, fabrication, design, reasonable rates! 18 years experience, Ramco Fabrication, Shawn (775)267-7358

DINING TABLES, MAPLE WITH FOUR chairs and four leaves; Walnut, with six padded chairs and one leaf $125 each (775)392-0012 JOHN DEERE AND NEW HOLLAND TRACTORS and mowers, visit us at rennerequipment.com or call for prices (775)465-2217

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

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New Years Special

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Policeman with a Sense of Humor

GUTTER AND GARAGE DOOR INSTALLATION, 10% Senior Discount, Serving Carson Valley and surrounding communities, 20+ years, Absolute Rain Gutters and Garage Doors, NV#0071909 (775)267-4422 REFRIGERANT R12, 30 POUNDS, $30 PER POUND, Onnie (775)883-8073 GET READY FOR YOUR CPA – SAVE THE LAST minute scramble and paying high fees to your CPA to pull your 2016 books together, call Pro-Balanced Bookkeeping at (775)246-3363 LANCASTER CONSTRUCTION, WE SPECIALIZE in Re-leveling Mobile Homes, also replacing old metal exterior doors with new residential doors. Give Phil Lancaster a call to schedule an appointment (775)7204319 or (775)782-8785 Happy New Year from Highland Christian Center!

Prayers for Hope and Joy in Christ! $69 SERVICE CALL, ACADEMY APPLIANCE Service; washers, dryers, refrigerators, ranges, dishwashers, compactors, some areas extra charge, Serving Carson Valley (775)781-4725

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In most northern states, law enforcement authorities have a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop down to single digits or lower.

About 3am one very cold morning a State Police officer responded to a call concerning a car off the shoulder of the road on the outskirts of Casper. He located the car, stuck in deep snow and with the engine still running.

Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the officer walked to the driver’s door and found an older man asleep behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him.

The driver woke up when the officer tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror and the State Police officer standing next to his car, the man panicked, jerked the gearshift into “Drive”, and hit the gas. The car’s speedometer was showing 20, then 30, then 40, and finally 50 MPH, but the car was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning madly.

The officer, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the “speeding” but still stationary car. The driver was totally freaked out thinking the officer was actually keeping up with him. This went on for about 30 seconds, after which the Patrolman yelled at the man and ordered him to “Pull Over!” The man obeyed, turned the steering wheel to the right, and stopped the engine.

Needless to say, the “driver” was arrested and is probably still shaking his head over the State Patrolman who could run 50 miles per hour. Who says policemen don’t have a sense of humor?

DALILA HOUSE CLEANING! 15 YEARS EXPERIENCE in Gardnerville, Carson City and Tahoe area!

Weekly or by-weekly with great references! Free Estimates (775)430-2531 ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174 ELECTRICAL PROBLEMS? MAKE THEM GO away! No job too small! New construction, remodels, service and repair, Pigman Electric, NV#73243, CA#610417 (775)721-9491 HANDYMAN, EXPERIENCED IN MOST HOME Improvements or Repairs, Quality Workmanship, Insured, NV#20101037419 (775)781-5531 or (775)3155179 MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 30 + YEARS experience! Serving Carson Valley and surrounding areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

Join EyeZone of Carson City for an Open House

Stop by our Open House from 4:30pm ­- 6:30pm on Thursday, January 19th. EyeZone is a locally owned optometry office and we¹d like to invite you to meet our doctors, tour the office, and enjoy some food and drink. Our office is located at 911 Topsy Lane, Suite 236, near Best Buy in Carson City. Give us a call at (775)267-9160 for more information.

REGISTERED FULLBLOOD (100%) BOER GOATS for sale, California Quality at Nevada Prices! Home of Show champion Producing Sire “Sudden Impact.” We have some of the Best Boer Bloodlines in Nevada! Registered Fullblood kids available year round. northernnvboergoats.com or email ichwawa395@aol.com or Sharon (775)781-0243 LIKE NEW FIVE DRAWER 30” TOOL CART $90; 90 amp wire feed welder, welder cart and hood, all three for $70, call for Harbor Freight stock numbers, Stan (775)782-3653 READY FOR WINTER CLEANUP AND MAINTENANCE? For a free estimate call James at Gardnerville Green, gardnervillegreen@gmail.com or (775)4500082

Sitting on the Pot

A little boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what’s up.

The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto to the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand.

His mother says: “Billy, are you all right? You’ve been in here for a while...”

Billy says: “I’m fine, mommy…I just haven’t gone ‘doody’ yet.”

Mother says: “Ok, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?”

Billy says: “Works for ketchup.”

GREAT HAIR DOESN’T HAPPEN BY CHANCE. It happens by appointment! Hair by Candi at C and Company, Minden, try something new, call now (775)434-4921 VENDORS, CHESHIRE ANTIQUES HAS SPACE Available! 12,000 square foot store, furniture, jewelry, repurposed and more. Contact Karen, 1423 Hwy 395, Gardnerville (775)782-9117

Happy New Year to All! 7

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

WNC Community Education Classes

R.I.P.P.E.D. exercise class Monday/ Wednesday’s 5:40pm – 6:40pm – Holiday special $50 for December and January. Basic Math and English – fast paced course each meeting for two weeks to improve your Math and English skills - $99 per subject matter, no books required; College for Kids – Babysitting Certification Saturday, January 7th, 2017- $72. Students learn techniques to be a responsible babysitter. Class fee includes the American Red Cross book and CD, first aid training, questions to ask the family such as emergency contacts, how / what to feed, dress, bath and bed/nap times for each child in their care as well as interviewing techniques. Women’s Self Defense – 5 weeks $96; New class listings under the Art & Literature heading. Check class descriptions, dates, cost and registration on line at www.campusece.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4268 1959 PLYMOUTH FURY, TWO DOOR HARD TOP, V8, complete, body restored (775)782-2422 BUYING OR SELLING REAL ESTATE? LET AN experienced, professional realtor guide you to a successful outcome. Contact Jim Darrough of Realty Executives, he can and will help you, nvrebroker@charter. net or (775)790-4848 Happy Holidays and thank you to all of my customers, Chester, Nevada Gun Exchange

Part-Time Help Wanted

Sierra Scoop is searching for a well-qualified individual to serve as the first point of contact for the company and provide general administrative support. You will handle the flow of people through the business and ensure that all job responsibilities are completed accurately and delivered with high quality in a timely manner, and able to meet weekly/daily deadlines. Responsibilities include: serving customers in small office, answering phone calls, making cold calls, following general office/company procedures, and performing other clerical duties as needed.

This part time office position is for approximately 20 hours per week (4 hours per day, mornings) The ideal candidate should be able to work alone, self motivated, have an outgoing personality and be comfortable in using the telephone to generate advertising sales. Computer skills are a must, as well as the ability to multi-task. Experience with Quickbooks is preferred, but can train. Hourly wage plus bonuses. For more information contact sierrascoop@ charter.net or mail your resume to Sierra Scoop, PO Box 869, Minden, NV 89423. (We are also looking for advertising sales representatives to work in the field. Interested?? Email sierrascoop@charter.net)

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The Watering Hole

Two guys are walking their dogs. One guys got a Doberman. The other guy has a Chihuahua. The first guy looks up and says, “Hey, here’s our favorite watering hole. Let’s go in and have a drink.”

The second guy says, “Are you kidding? We’ve got our dogs with us. They won’t let us in there.” “No problem, just follow my lead.”

The first man puts on a pair of dark sunglasses and starts to go into the bar. The manager happens to be standing by the door and says, “Hold it, hold it! You can’t come in here with that dog.” “Why? He’s my Seeing Eye Dog.” The manager thinks for a minute and says, “Well, okay, come on in.”

The second guy says, “What the heck, I’ll give it a try.” He puts on his dark glasses and walks in. The manager starts laughing and says, “What do you think you’re doing? You can’t come in here with that dog.” “He’s my Seeing Eye Dog.” “A Chihuahua?”

The guy thinks for a minute and says, “A Chihuahua?

They gave me a Chihuahua?”

SET OF TWO TWIN BEDS, WHITE $200 OBO; console record player with AM/FM, plays multiple records $150 OBO; horseshoe set $15 (775)450-3004 COLT AR15 223 CALIBER HBAR PRE BAN, NEW CASE 2/20 and 3/30 round magazines, like new condition $2,000 OBO; No sales tax or paperwork. Nevada resident only with Nevada drivers license, Bob/Carson City (775)232-0882 LARRY’S TRACTOR SERVICE, CLEANUP WORK, rototilling, backhoe, box scraper, dump trailer, rake, hole drilling, affordable rates (775)267-2245 or (775)690-4632 QUALITY QUILTS, CREATIVE CLOTH, FREE motion custom quilting, pantographs, and line designs to enhance your own quilt tops. Quilting and sewing classes, custom orders, private lessons, find us on Facebook (775)691-0533 JANS TROPICS AND ELEGANT POOCH, 50 YEARS serving Carson! dog and cat grooming, pet supplies and tropical fish, 1000 Corbett St., Carson City (775)882-5659 or (775)882-4928 LK TOWNE CONSTRUCTION, residential commercial, remodel kitchens and bathrooms, NV License #0042503 bonded Ken Towne owner (775)883-1256 or (775)720-8286

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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com WE’LL KEEP YOU IN STITCHES, WE COVER autos, furniture and ATV’s, 47 years experience, Tweeds Upholstery, Gardnerville, tweedsupholstery@ yahoo.com or (775)782-5812 HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 21 years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453 HONDA EU2000 GENERATORS WITH PARALLEL kit, $1,200 for both or $650 for one (775)309-0561 HANDYMAN FOR ALL YOUR OUTSIDE NEEDS, yard cleanup, power wash, fence repair, minor jobs, free estimates, NV#11376PC (775)246-9899

Feeling Pregnant

“Ok everyone,” said the instructor at the birthing class trying to get everyone’s attention. “We are going to do an exercise now, that’s purpose is to help the men sympathize with their partners.” “We have here what’s called a pregnancy suit,” said the woman instructor, holding up an artificial stomach with a strap. “This imitates the feeling of being pregnant. Which Husband volunteers to be the first one to try it on?”

“I will” said one man, taking the suit and trying it on.

“This isn’t too bad”, said the man walking around. “I think I could get used to this.”

“Ok”, said the instructor smiling, “now I would like you to bend down and pick up my pen from the floor.” “You want me to pick it up?” he said hesitantly, “just as I would if I was pregnant?” “Yes!” said the instructor. “Honey,” said the man turning to his spouse “do you mind picking up that pen for me?”

LINCOLN MAPLE HARDWOOD 4’x8’ POOL TABLE, 1.5 Italian slate, excellent condition, includes two inch thick folding insert pad, brown maple colored pad cover, several cues also included, and much more $4,500 OBO (775)841-3482 IN DYER NEED OF AUTOMOTIVE SERVICE? For a good, honest mechanic, call Brian Dyer, 12+ years serving Dayton area! Dayton Valley Service (775)2467661 D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, snow removal, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)671-0808 Warmest greetings and best wishes for the New Year, Academy Appliance

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Hearing Aids

After much nagging from his wife, Sam was visiting the audiologist. Yes, he would need hearing aids and they ranged in price from $10 to $2,000, was what he was told.

“I’ll try the $10 pair” Sam said. The nurse placed the hearing aids into his ears and hung a wire around his neck.

“Does the wire really have to be around my neck?” asked Sam. “Why of course!” replied the nurse. “You think these things in your ears do anything?! It’s the wire around your neck – it makes people talk louder!”

ASPHALT AND CONCRETE DRIVEWAYS, GRADING and Utility Work in the Carson Valley, 30 years in business, Free Estimates, BR Constructors, NV#28567/ NV#31076 (775)782-4477 or (775)690-8593 HIGH DESERT BARNS, CUSTOM STEEL BUILDINGS, Horse Shelters, Quality Barns built with 25 years of experience, highdesertbarns.com or (775)2463004 LOCKHEED SKUNKWORKS - LOCKHEED SKUNKWORKS - Lockheed Skunkworks - Lockheed Skunkworks; Buying Photos, Mementos, Autographs, Books. Especially Blackbird, Jamie, integrity@prodigy.net or (775)720-2829

Come Join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church

Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 5pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590 EXPERIENCED HOT TUB REPAIR AND MAINTENANCE, monthly/bi-monthly, new custom covers available! Serving Carson Valley area, Carson Spa Care (775)230-5328 PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827 TNT UPHOLSTERY, CUSTOM AUTOS, BOATS, furniture and leather work, free estimates, 1482 Southgate Dr., #106, Gardnerville (775)267-5433 ROAD APPLES R US! WE WILL MANAGE YOUR manure, for more information and photos please see our website ManureMaintenance.com or call Mark (775)600-3385 or Deborah (775)684-9819

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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

Remain Independent – Remain at Home

The “little things” may become increasingly difficult as we age, but this doesn’t mean it’s time to surrender. We provide affordable, non-medical assistance for seniors at home. Light housekeeping, meal prep, bathing/grooming, companionship, family relief, and incidental transportation to appointments. A few hours to 24/7 care. Eden Home Care, eden-health.com (775)392-2000 MAPLE TWIN BEDS FOR SALE, GOOD mattress and springs, bedding available also $350; stationary bike, like new condition $60 (775)782-2459 HOUSE CLEANING, SERVING DAYTON, Carson City areas, established in area over 20 years, honest, reliable, references on request, Linda (775)246-4383 PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, faux and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, powerspainting.org or (775)7815531 or (775)315-5179 FREE PET BUNNIES AVAILABLE IN JANUARY, 7 weeks old, can only go to good home; also wanted, rabbit hutch (775)267-2276

Money Joke

Like most women, Sandy loves going shopping, much to her husband’s dismay. “Here take a look at this”, says her husband Tom, shoving the credit card statement in front of her. “You spent $250 at Macy’s, $150 at Nordstrom, $122 at Old Navy, and another $225 at JC Penny.

How in the world do you expect me to pay for all of this?”

“Well,” answers Sandy, taken aback, “I’ve been accused of many things before, but one thing I am certainly not is inquisitive!”

USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539 GOT WOOD? SAMMY’S FIREWOOD, HONEST Quality Service, soft and hard wood, delivery available, located in Carson City, (775)315-0834 Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all, Pastor Rick and Midge HDS INSURANCE REPRESENTING NUMEROUS top companies, we do the shopping for you, right priced, right coverage, all lines of insurance (775)2679947

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Parents Wish

COMPLETE LAWNCARE, PAVERS, RETAINING walls and more! 30 years in Carson Valley, Senior Discounts And Free Estimates, Nevada Lawns (775)4502156

On the day when you see us old, weak and weary… have patience and try to understand us. If we get dirty when eating… if we cannot dress up on our own… please bear with us and remember the times we spent feeding and dressing you up.

If when we speak to you… we repeat the same things over and over again… do not interrupt us… listen to us.

When you were small we read to you a thousand and one times the same story until you went to sleep.

When we do not want to take a shower, neither shame nor scold us. Remember when we had to chase you with your thousand excuses to get you to the shower.

When you see our ignorance on new technologies… help us navigate our way through those worldwide webs.

We taught you how to do so many things… to eat the right foods, to dress appropriately, to fight for your rights.

When at some moments we lose the memory or the thread of our conversation… let us have the necessary time to remember… and if we cannot, do not become nervous… as the most important thing, is not our conversation, but surely to be with you and to have you listening to us.

If ever we do not want to eat, do not force us. We know well when to and when not to.

When our tired legs give way and do not allow us to walk without a cane… lend us your hand the same way we did when you first tried your faltering steps.

And when someday we say that we do not want to live anymore, that we want to die… do not get angry… some day you will understand.

Try to understand that our age is not lived but survived.

Some day you will realize that, despite our mistakes, we always wanted the best for you and we tried to prepare the way for you.

You must not feel sad, angry nor ashamed for seeing us near you. Instead, try to understand and help us like we did when you were young.

Help us to walk… help us to end our way with love and dignity. We will pay you by a smile and by the immense love we have always had for you in our hearts.

$100 OFF CLUTCH OR TRANSMISSION REPLACEMENT! New, used and rebuilds, up to 3 year, 100,000 mile warranty, Double J Auto, 1475 Southgate Drive, Gardnerville (775)782-8592

HANDYMAN SERVICE – HOME REPAIRS, FENCING Repair/Replacement, Hauling, Trash Removal, Shrub and Tree Trimming and Removal, and Weed Removal, Free Estimates (775)781-1747

CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! REPAIR, RE-STITCH, Replace; Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Spa Sun Covers and Patio Shade; Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/Minden (775)2674434 or (775)230-8706

PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081

Codependents Anonymous

CoDA “Developing Healthy Relationships” Carson City, Sparks and Kings Beach, Visit www.coda.org or call for details, Al at (775)882-0884 or Bob C. (775)720-1040 WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)7829192

Martin Luther King Day- January 16th 14

REAL DEAL FOR THE NEW YEAR! NordicTrack treadmill, commercial 1500 model $200 (775)292-0310

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)2655541 or (775)901-1848 SCI GRADING EXCAVATING ROAD WORK, house pads, drainage and erosion control, septic systems and pumping, wet and dry utilities, demolition, water and dump truck service, Erik Viksna NV#076958, CA#954210, (530)306-2647 or (775)629-9000

GENEALOGY - THOROUGH RESEARCH OF FAMILY histories. A unique gift for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or yourself! www.PersonalPedigree.com or Lisa (775)450-3175 GREG’S SMALL ENGINE SERVICE AND REPAIR! Lawn Mowers, Snow Blowers, Portable Generators, Tillers, Shredders, Pressure Washers; On Site PickUp And Delivery, Serving Carson City, Carson Valley, Dayton - gregtenbroeck@yahoo.com or visit us at gregsmallengine.com (775)790-0435 or (530)307-1132

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Beekeeping Education

Stopping for a Yellow Light

An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger-printed, and photographed, and then placed in a holding cell.

“A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter@sbcglobal.net or (775)530-8932 or (775)884-3906 LET US UNLOAD ON YOU! TOP SOIL, ROCK, DG, etc. Tight time line? We’re really fast! 30+ years experience, serving Carson and surrounding communities, Nevada Organics (775)882-9500

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Is beekeeping on your bucket list? Need help getting started or do you want the latest information on techniques and in research? You have two opportunities to have both.

The first opportunity is a one-day workshop for beginning beekeepers to be held on Saturday, January 28th, 2017, at the Jeanne Dini Cultural Center, Yerington, Nevada. The second opportunity is the 7th Annual Mason Valley Beekeeping Conference to be held at the Catholic Center, Yerington, Nevada, on February 24th - 25th, 2017.

The workshop is focused and designed for individuals with little or no beekeeping experience. Topics will include honey bee biology, hive equipment and supplies, getting bees, first year hive management, pests and diseases, products from the hive as well as an overview of a beekeeper’s year. The cost for the workshop is $45 per adult and a student rate is $2. Lunch, snacks and printed resource materials will be provided.

The annual Conference includes speaker, Dr Dennis vanEnglesdorp, from the University of Maryland, with the latest in research. Other speakers will include hobby and commercial beekeepers from Nevada and California on topics to include hive management, swarms and bee removal, current state/federal regulations, and other pertinent information. Bee supply vendors will be available to answer questions and to sell supplies. Door prizes, raffle and a silent auction round out the day. Cost for the entire weekend, including all materials, meals and snacks is $65 per person with a student rate of $35.

Please visit masonvalleybeekeepers.org to register for the workshop and/or conference. Like Mason Valley Beekeepers on Facebook to keep up-to-date on the latest information. You may also call (775)463-2757 for additional information.

Thank you to our supporters Western Nevada Specialty Crop Institute. Nevada Fresh Pak, City of Yerington Room Tax Board, and Lyon County Room Tax Board.

JR’S POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE, ALL quads, dirt, street bikes, chainsaws, snowmobiles, generators, any gas powered machines, 30 years experience! Dayton, jrpowersports.com or (775)241-2530 HARDWOOD FLOORING WAREHOUSE CLEARANCE! Also Laminate, Vinyl Plank and Carpet at 20% - 50% off, Specials starting from .50 per square foot, Rogers Carpet One (775)267-2555 24” TROY-BUILT STORM 2410 SNOWBLOWER, electric start, six forward and two reverse speeds, two years old, used less than three times, new $550 sell for $350 (775)220-2185

www.sierrascoop.com

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

TWO DYNATRAC 225/70R 19.5 ALL STEEL-BELTED radial tires, never mounted $65 for one or $120 for both (775)265-7058 RUPERT’S GEMCUTTING AND JEWELRYUNIQUE gifts, custom designing, repairs, specializing in natural stones and precious gemstone jewelry, Carson City (775)882-5988 JOB FAIRS! INTERVIEWS! Are you prepared? A great resume is your key to success. Military discount.

(DD214 required) Call The Resume Business now!

(775)267-2711

HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)2671958 SHOWER/BATHTUB ENCLOSURES STARTING at $4,995, done with Sentrel Bath Systems, granite stone or marble look material. Figueroa’s Construction for your bathroom and kitchen/home improvements, Free Estimates, NV#58909, CA#678260 (775)782-3225

VOICE AND PIANO LESSONS, BEGINNER to Advanced students, experienced teacher, performer, music degree. Call The Songlady! Carolyn Lancaster (775)720-1918 or (775)267-2582 1995 FORD WINDSTAR, EXCELLENT CONDITION inside and out, front and rear heat and air conditioning $3,200 (775)901-0717 HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/ INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $35 per hour (775)691-5119

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Why Women Fib

Flying Pig Flea Market

Be a vendor. Come to browse, January 21st and 22nd, 2017 8am-3pm, Fuji Park Building, Carson City, for information call (775)882-4717 or (775)315-0008 FIREWOOD, ALMOND, CHERRY AND WALNUT, mixed, seasoned, split, $380 a cord, Almond only $420 a cord, delivery available, Jon (775)246-7186 BOWFLEX ELITE, EXCELLENT CONDITION, extra power rods, reduced to $350 or best offer (775)720-5055 SMITH VALLEY IRRIGATION – SERVING NEVADA and Sierra Communities for 38 Years with Ag Irrigation Systems and Parts (775)465-2316 DO YOU NEED A WELDER? Carbon steel, stainless steel, Tig, stick, or wire feed, $100 minimum for welding and repairs performed, Yerington (510)688-5283 HIGH ROLLERS PAINTING FOR ALL YOUR PAINTING needs and drywall repairs! Competitive rates and quality workmanship, bonded and insured, NV#44048, highrollerspainting.net or (775)267-2534

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One day, while a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?”

The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water, and she needed the thimble to make her living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden thimble.

“Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, “No.” The Lord again went down and came up with a wooden thimble. “Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked.

Again, the seamstress replied, “No.” The Lord went down again and came up with a silver thimble. “Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, “Yes.” The Lord was pleased with the woman’s honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Sometime later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river. When she cried out, The Lord again appeared and asked her, “Why are you crying?”

“Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the water!” The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. “Is this your husband?” the Lord asked. “Yes,” cried the seamstress.

The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!”

The seamstress replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding.

You see, if I had said ‘no’ to George Clooney, you would have come up with Tom Cruise. Then if I said ‘no’ to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor woman and am not able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT’S why I said yes to George Clooney.”

The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501 RENEE’S UPHOLSTERY, FORMERLY OF SARAH’S, specializing in motorcycle seats, furniture, marine, automotive, 20 years experience, rquell@sbcglobal.net or (775)530-3941 MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627

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19

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” 1,000 Marbles

ELLA K. LADEN, CPA, PROFESSIONAL, PERSONALIZED service for all of your Tax and Bookkeeping needs, reasonable rates, 25 Years Experience (775)3920074 THREE POINT NON-HYDRAULIC RIPPER HOOK-UP for 100 horse tractor or better, five blade $400 or trade for category one or sub compact tractor post hole digger, Yerington (775)741-0566 PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish…

JWPetCare@aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065 FRIGIDAIRE GALLERY REFRIGERATOR, brushed nickel, side by side, 2.6 cubic feet, outside water and ice, less than four years old, like new $350 Steve (775)392-0526 or (760)861-6345 WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL PACIFIC Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)882-3999 Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all, Gary

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The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings.

Perhaps it’s the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it’s the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.

A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the backyard patio with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning, turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it.

I turned the dial up to listen to a Saturday morning talk show I heard an older sounding gentleman, with a golden voice. You know the kind, he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whoever he was talking with something about “a thousand marbles”.

I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say...

“Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you’re busy with your job. I’m sure they pay you well but it’s a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. Too bad you missed your daughter’s dance recital.”

He continued, “Let me tell you something Tom, something that has helped me keep a good perspective on my own priorities.”

And that’s when he began to explain his theory of a “thousand marbles.” “You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventyfive years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.”

“Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3,900 which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime.

Now stick with me Tom, I’m getting to the important part.”

“It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail”, he went on, “and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy.”

“So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round-up 1,000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside of a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear. Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and have thrown it away.”

“I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life.

There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight.”

“Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off

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21

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Things People Learned at a Later Age

with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container.

I figure if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time.”

“It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again.”

You could have heard a pin drop on the radio when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work that morning. Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. “C’mon honey, I’m taking you and the kids to breakfast.”

“What brought this on?” she asked with a smile. “Oh, nothing special, it’s just been a while since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. Hey, can we stop at a toy store while we’re out? I need to buy some marbles.”

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I’m 28 years old. I only just realized that the little piggy who went to market wasn’t going shopping for groceries...

The lyrics to The Beatle’s song Twist and Shout are: “Shake it up baby now (Shake it up baby)” But I always thought the lyrics went: “We’re shakin’ a baby now (Shakin’ a baby)”. People were horrified when I started singing it this way.

It’s called “metal” music because it’s harder than rock.

It’s “For all intents and purposes,” Not “For all intensive purposes.” Learned at age 30.

I was 23 on a trip with my girlfriend in San Francisco.

We were both getting ready for the day in the bathroom and I needed my hair gel, so I asked if she could hand me my toilet treat bag. She seemed confused, I again asked, “Can you please hand me my bag of toilet treats!?” She ran out of the bathroom laughing.

I re-named a goldfish “rainbow” when I was 7 because it kept changing color every few months. I told friends about this fish for years like it was some mystical kaleidoscope fish. It hit me in the face a couple months ago that the fish wasn’t changing color...my parents were just replacing it when it died without telling me.

I thought if you just blew into a balloon it would rise.

I didn’t realize it was the helium that caused the balloon to float until I was 18 and a receptionist at a salon and had an extremely embarrassing moment of blowing up the balloons, tying the strings to them, and asking a co-worker why they were just laying on the ground. She almost died laughing.

Somehow the conversation of superhero names came up with my girlfriend (29) the other day, and she mentioned Wolverine being named after wolves. I kinda looked at her and said “Wolverine was named after wolverines.” She stared back blankly. One google images search later and I had taught a biology major about a new animal.

I thought the term “prima donna” was “pre-Madonna.”

I always wondered what happened before her that would demand a new term.

I have some friends in their 30s who think behaving means being haved. (That’s haved pronounced like shaved). They will ask their own kids “are you being have?” Like ‘have’ means good.

I thought “I feel like a dog in heat” meant that you felt uncomfortably warm, like a dog in hot weather would feel.

I was in the back of my friend’s suburban on a road trip through Southern California when her parents asked if we wanted them to turn on the air conditioning. Yes, please.

I feel like a dog in heat! That was a pretty awkward ride.

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I Remember

It was Timmy’s 5th birthday and he was joyfully opening all the presents he received. He saved the biggest for last, so it took a while until he got to opening Grandma’s present. “Wow” Timmy exclaimed in delight, upon seeing the mini drum set that his Grandmother got for him.

“Thanks Grandma this is just what I wanted.” It was after Timmy went to bed that Timmy’s mother approached her mother. “Ma, I’m surprised at you, don’t you remember how it used to drive you crazy when we used to play the drums in the house growing up?” Grandma smiled and then said “I remember, of course I remember.”

I thank Jesus Christ for his loving us when we were still sinners, Pamela Soch

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OUR BUSINESS IS GROWING! IRRIGATION, water-based feeding, tree trimming, cleanup, hauling, leafing! Winter snow removal and maintenance, Pyramid Lawn Service Inc. Residential Lawn Care, Licensed and Bonded, Owned by Ruben Vargas (775)450-1197 or (775)220-8578

$200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461

23

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Parents Receive a Letter Home from Camp

CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Old Wind Up Watches and Watch Parts, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you.

Joanne, please leave clear message (775)465-9422 CLEAR THE CLUTTER! HARRY’S HAULING; pianos, spas, safes or anything else, serving the Carson Valley communities (775)291-6648 ALL AMERICAN OVERHEAD DOOR, NEW INSTALLATION, repairs and service, commercial/residential, 10% discount for spring repair, Free Estimates and Senior Discount (775)450-2156 1957 FORD F600 DUMP TRUCK, $2,000 OBO; Worx electric chainsaw with 10’ extension, still in box $130 OBO, Pat (775)265-2578 GOT DIRTY WINDOWS? ABC WINDOW CLEANERS, mirrors, gutter cleaning, re-screening, pressure washing, 30 years experience, NV#20161064184, CA#310507, Gardnerville resident (530)544-0590

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Dear Mom and Dad, We are having a great time here at Camp CatchaCough. Our Scoutmaster is making us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 3 sleeping bags got washed away.

Luckily, none of us drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Ryan when it happened. Oh yes, please call Ryan’s mother and tell her he is OK. He can’t write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search & rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn’t been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster got mad at Ryan for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Ryan said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn’t hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas could blow up? The wet wood still didn’t burn, but one of our tents did. Also, some of our clothes. John is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster gets the car fixed. It wasn’t his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked OK when we left. Scoutmaster said that a car that old you have to expect something to break down; that’s probably why he can’t get insurance on it. We think it’s a neat car. He doesn’t care if we get it dirty, and if it’s hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the tailgate. It gets pretty hot with 10 people in a car. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrolman stopped and talked to us.

Our Scoutmaster is a neat guy. Don’t worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Travis how to drive.

But he only lets him drive on the mountain roads where there isn’t any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out in the lake. Scoutmaster wouldn’t let me because I can’t swim and Ryan was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so he let us take the canoe across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood. Scoutmaster isn’t crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn’t even get mad about the life jackets.

He has to spend a lot of time working on the car so we are trying not to cause him any trouble. Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When David dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Also, Raymond and I threw up. Scoutmaster said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken.

I have to go now. We are going into town to mail our letters and buy bullets. Don’t worry about anything. We are fine.

Love, Your son, P.S. How long has it been since I had a tetanus shot?

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25

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” What Sign?

A traffic cop on patrol one night, watching a 35-mph zone on the edge of town, suddenly saw a car come blazing by his hideout. Quickly grabbing at his radar gun, he clocked the fast-moving vehicle at 87 mph!

The officer took off after the speeder and soon had the car pulled over on the side of the road. Expecting trouble with such a reckless driver, the patrolman approached cautiously.

To his surprise, the driver of the offending vehicle was a little old lady, barely tall enough to see over the steering wheel.

“Ma’am,” the officer began, “do you know how fast you were going?”

“I was just getting her up around 90, I believe, officer,” the old lady answered calmly, peering up at him through her bifocals. “Why, what seems to be the problem?”

Shocked, the officer returned her comment, “What seems to be the problem? Why, this is a 35-mph zone!

That’s the problem. Didn’t you see the sign?

“Oh sure,” the old lady returned, “That’s why I’m driving so fast. I’m just trying to follow its instruction.”

Dumbfounded, the officer was momentarily speechless.

“Just what sign are you talking about, ma’am?” he asked, when he finally recovered.

Smiling up at the officer, the old lady placed a gentle hand on his wrist and said, “Why, the one that said ‘Speed Zone Ahead,’ of course!”

Washing Clothes

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife ‘Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!’

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. ‘What the Heck is this??’ he said to himself as a little ‘dust’ cloud appeared when he shook them out.

‘April,’ he hollered into the bathroom, ‘why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?’

She replied with a snicker...’It’s not talcum powder It’s ‘Miracle Grow’.

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CHIZEK CONCRETE PUMPING, GROUT AND 3/4 line pump; Residential and commercial, prompt, dependable service, Brad (775)721-0055 DON’T HUMP IT, PUMP IT!

LARGE OAK HUTCH WITH GLASS DOORS ON upper piece and drawers below, excellent condition $1,000 OBO (775)781-1302

BEAR BULLETS HAS MOVED! WE ARE NOW at 1506 US HWY 395 N. Gardnerville, NV., Reloading components, equipment and training. Remember, “we are just gun food!” Open Wednesday - Saturday 10am - 6pm and Sunday Noon - 5pm (775)392-3213

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ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $399, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994

Weighdown Class Gardnerville

Have you wanted a closer relationship with God while losing unwanted pounds? For information visit weighdown.com or call Bonnie at (775)790-4738

ONE HOUR MASSAGE/FACIAL COMBO NEW Year’s Special $120. Begin 2017 taking care of you or someone you love. By appointment only, gift certificates available. Located behind Bank of America, Minden, Massage, Jennifer (775)291-1286, Facial, Karla (775)315-0673

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27

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” BELIEVE it or not, Supposedly REAL 911 Calls!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich. Dispatcher: Excuse me? Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it. Dispatcher: Was anything else taken? Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I’m sick and tired of it!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it. Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one.

Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency? Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart. Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

ROASTED GARLIC JAM, SOLD AT SCOLARI’S Market, Carrols Corner, South Yerington, call for more information (775)846-8972 or (775)463-1265 MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, tires and more! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 35 years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919 QUEEN FOUR POSTER BED, FRAME ONLY $50; two Oak finish bathroom cabinets $10 each; Travertine tile 12” square, 9 plus cartons $90 (775)392-4242 Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, Phone/Fax (775)782-4520 STOP THE COLD AIR FROM COMING UNDER your house! Change your foundation vents to Raz Air Vents. Easy to open and close, 100% guaranteed, available at your local Meeks Lumber and Hardware Stores and Dave’s Supply in Carson City, call (775)392-4455

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FIREWOOD! PINE ROUNDS $75/CORD, Split Pine $150/cord, unlimited supply, seasoned, pick-up only, easy access, location Woodfords, Paul (530)721-5011 GRASS-FED BEEF, ALL LOCALLY GROWN, $4.25 per pound hanging weight, works out to about $6 per pound cut and wrapped (775)721-1574 I THANK ALL MY WOOD AND CHRISTMAS TREE customers and wish you Happy Holidays! I shall return! Grandma Jean, God Bless America! (775)4635967

TANGLES HAIR STUDIO AND NAILS, specializing in creative color and cuts; Men, Women and Children, Walk-ins Welcome! Follow us on Facebook, 1255 US Hwy. 395N, Gardnerville, (775)782-2742 To all my valued customers at Trumbly Tattoo Removal, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Robert WOOD STOVES - PELLET STOVES New/Reconditioned starting at $800 while supplies last. Showroom hours 9am to 4pm Monday thru Friday, 63 Laxalt Dr. Mound House, NV, bbqsandfireplaces.com or (775)2412609

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Feminine Things

THE PURPLE AVOCADO GREAT GIFTS! Come see why we’re voted #1 Best Gift Shop! 904 N. Curry Street, Carson City or visit our website at thepurpleavocado.com or (775)883-6233

A group of men were asked what traditionally “feminine” things they wished were more acceptable for men to do. What they said ranges from the silly and hilarious, to the smart and perceptive. Enjoy!

1. Being able to wear some actual colorful clothing…

The lovely color choices of men’s formal clothes: Black, Charcoal, Navy, Gray. It’s like we’re always going to a funeral. 2. I. LOVE. ANIMALS. I want to be covered in kittens and puppies, I want to hug and play with a dog, I want to pet cats until they’re annoyed, THEN PET THEM SOME MORE. I have a beard, hairy, masculine build, doesn’t mean I can’t love the critters of this earth! 3. The way women stand leaning on their arm that’s holding their hip, it’s super comfortable and I want to look like a little teapot darn it! 4. Sitting down to pee. 5. Crying at Disney films and chick flicks. I’ve always had to hold back my tears and make stupid jokes to seem more masculine :( 6.

Plucking eyebrow hair. I used to have one eyebrow, now I have two. It made good mathematical sense to me.

7. I wish us men could just sit there and look pretty as women approach us and make the first move, yet the pressure is always on men to go first. 8. The ability to show vulnerability. Oh and I guess getting to order fruity drinks at the bar would be pretty cool. 9. Singing and dancing to popular female singers, I just want to live! T-swift’s ‘Blank Space’ was my jam for a couple weeks. Not the manliest thing to sing along to... 10. I wash my face with a facial wash scrub and it is awesome! Whenever I recommend it to a guy they instantly make fun of me, but the facial scrub makes you feel so clean and wonderful plus it smells awesome! 11. I like using women shampoos and conditioner it’s nice having my hair smell like lavender instead of “steel” or “anarchy”. Seriously, Axe names can be ridiculous sometimes. 12. Complimenting women on their clothes/hair? I’m not hitting on you, I just like your style.

Or saying another boy looks good? I’m not gay, everyone wants a compliment every once in a while!

And perhaps the best for last: “What feminine thing do you wish was more socially acceptable for men to do?”

13. Nothing. I’m a man. I go to baseball games and I build shelves and I fish. But I also bake, and I garden, I cry, and I drink “girly” drinks. Doing what makes you happy and not giving a darn what people think is as manly as it gets!

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HAVING A SPECIAL EVENT OR BENEFIT? Like high energy piano? I’m your man! Listen live at randyidemusic.net, quality entertainment at an affordable price (775)848-6118

MKD CONSTRUCTION, GENERAL ENGINEERING, concrete structures, concrete flat work, grading, roadway improvements, drainage, storm drains, underground utilities (water and sewer), paving, fencing, barrier rail, environmental improvements, commercial and residential snow removal, excellent reputation and references available, NV#50061 and CA#818376, Mike (775)246-1900 or (775)315-2416 BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND recolored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (530)495-1641 or (775)233- 5297

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Who am I?

By Barbara in Bishop

I am the child wanting to be the grown-up. I am the grown-up wanting to be the child. I am the bird singing joyfully from the treetop. I am the breeze blowing steadily through the branches chasing the bird away. I am the words that sting a loved one’s heart. I am the hand that reaches out in peace. I am the sun shining on a warm summer day. I am the first snow flake falling onto cold winter’s earth. I am the homeless standing on the street corner begging for a coin. I am the vehicle driving right past. I am the pearl hiding in the oyster at the bottom of the sea. I am the diamond sparkling on the hand of a beloved. I am the heart that claims to love the lepers. I am the steps that cross the street as they approach. I am the bud awaiting the newness of Spring. I am the fallen leaf awaiting the last of Winter. I am the tear that falls from a daughter’s heart. I am the seamstress that mends her brokenness. I am the prisoner tied to the chains of life. I am the butterfly soaring freely through a field of daisies. I am the regret of yesterday. I am the breath of today. I am the hope of tomorrow.

Who am I? I am all of this…and more. I am a child! I am young! I am loved! I am learning, receiving, teaching, giving, loving, breathing and I am experiencing life! I am a grown-up! I am old! I am loved! I am learning, receiv-

ing, teaching, giving, loving, breathing and I am experiencing the newness of every single moment of life! I am the past, the present, and the future. I am birth – waiting to break into new beginnings! I am death – waiting to break into new endings! I am breath. I am life. I am peace.

Who am I? I am all of this…and more. I am me. I am you. I am life, love, death. I am eternal! And who are you?

PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373 GUNSMITHING SERVICES, CLEANING, REPAIR, Customizing, Federal Nevada License, Thom’s Gun Shop, Wellington (775)266-3136 HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK RESURFACING and repair, interior doors, windows and interior/exterior trim, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235 To Lee “Mom” Vecchiarelli, wishing you the best Christmas and best of health, we love you Mom!

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” We Americans are Blessed!

Caregivers Needed

Join our team of Caregivers and make a difference in the lives of seniors. Provide companionship and bring assisted living into their home. Full-time, part-time, days, nights, 12 hour, and 24 hour shifts available. Retired and mature adults encourage to apply. EOE Apply online eden-homecare.com (775)392-2000 PIANO AND ORGAN PRIVATE INSTRUCTIONS, Member of Sierra Organ Club, Call Joanne Booth in Sunridge, Carson City (775)267-2429 ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)7212880 G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, summer clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672 IRS PROBLEMS? FEDERAL AND ALL STATES, Past years returns and audit representation, “Service you can trust, quality you can afford.”, Call James A. Farnham, enrolled agent, 20 years experience, Reasonable Rates, Income Tax Services (775)392-0321

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We Americans are a blessed people, but we are also spoiled. We can get flustered over the stupidest things like when our cell phone doesn’t get a good signal, when a flight is delayed or when our computer takes too long to load a website. Most people in the world don’t have iPhones, can’t afford air travel and don’t have computers.

Our impatience reveals our ungrateful spirit.

So how can we avoid this virus of selfish immaturity?

Appreciation/gratitude is the antidote. It melts our pride and crushes our sense of entitlement.

Here’s a list of 10 blessings that many people in the world don’t have. Go over this list, share with your children and then see if we still have anything to gripe about.

1. Got clean water? The next time you uncap a bottle of water or grab a drink from the tap, remember that one in eight people in the world (that’s 884 million people) lack access to clean water supplies. Millions of women around the world spend several hours a day collecting water. When you take a five-minute shower, you use more water than a typical person in a developing country uses in a whole day.

2. Do you have a bathroom? About 40 percent of the world’s population (2.6 billion people) do not have toilets.

Lack of sanitation facilities spreads disease and is a major reason why more than 2 million people die annually of diarrhea.

3. How’s your electricity? The power in my house might be interrupted briefly three times a year because of storms. But 1.6 billion people - a quarter of humanity - live without any electricity. And, because of unreliable infrastructure, at least 2 billion people on earth don’t have any light at night.

4. Got a roof over your head? One billion people live in slums. That’s almost one-sixth of the world’s population.

Of this total, 640 million children live without adequate shelter; they live in cardboard boxes, tin-roofed shacks, one-room mud huts or filthy, crowded tenements. It’s been estimated that 1.4 billion people will live in slums by 2020. Meanwhile here in the United States, between 2.3 to 2.5 million people are classified as homeless.

5. Is there food on your table? In the United States we are battling an obesity epidemic. Yet according to UNICEF, 22,000 children die each day due to poverty. Approximately 790 million people in the developing world are chronically undernourished, and almost 28 percent of all children in developing countries are estimated to be underweight or stunted.

6. Got a stove? In developing countries, some 2.5 billion people use fuel wood, charcoal or animal dung to meet their energy needs for cooking. In sub-Saharan Africa, more than 80 percent of the population depends on these crude, traditional means for cooking, as do over half of the populations of India and China. The really sad part:

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” most of these believers suffer in Islamic countries—although the top hot spot for Christian persecution, according to Open Doors International, is the atheist regime of North Korea.

There are many more reasons to feel blessed. Consider your own list for the New Year!

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Compulsive Eaters Anonymous

Concerned about your eating or weight? Meetings every Monday and Thursday 5:15pm, Tuesday 10am, 314 N. Division St. Carson City; every Sunday 7pm, 1375 Centerville Lane, Gardnerville - All are welcome! ceahow. org or Sue at (775)400-0098 Indoor air pollution resulting from the use of solid fuels claims the lives of 1.5 million people each year, more than half of them below the age of 5.

7. Got regular income? You may have had to take a pay cut in the past decade. But keep in mind that at least 80 percent of humanity lives on less than $10 a day. The world’s average income is about $7,000 a year. Still, only about 19 percent of the world’s population lives in countries with per capita incomes at least this high.

8. Did you go to school? Nearly a billion people entered the 21st century unable to read a book or sign their names.

Enrollment data shows that about 72 million children of primary school age in the developing world were not in school at all in past years (and 57 percent of them were girls).

9. Are you generally healthy? Americans face illness like people in other nations - and more than 12 million Americans are battling cancer in any given year. But many of us have access to health care. In the developing world, more than 2.2 million children die each year because they are not immunized. An estimated 40 million people in developing countries are living with HIV/AIDS. Every year there are 350–500 million cases of malaria, with 1 million fatalities, mostly in Africa.

10. Are you free to worship God? More than 400 Christians die for their faith every day around the world, and

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REDUCE YOUR ENERGY COST! ATTIC blown in insulation, Residential and Commercial, licensed and bonded, 27 years experience, for your Free Estimate call BGS NV#58410, NV#58411 (775)782-9192 REFURBISHED MOBILE HOMES LOOKING FOR Good Tenants! 1 and 2 Bedroom for rent, payment starting from $505 plus all utilities, available now in Dayton, Silver Springs and Yerington (775)316-0634 BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629 INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX preparation, Federal and all States, prior years, audit representation, 30 years experience, reasonable rates (775)392-0418 WE HAVE A LARGE SELECTION OF NEW AND Used RV’s and a full parts and service department, Carson City RV, 4550 North Carson Street, North Highway 395 (775)882-8335

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The Carson Valley Sertoma Crab and Tri-Tip Feast…

is February 11th, 2017 at Douglas County Community and Senior Center, 1329 Waterloo Lane, Gardnerville. The all-you-can-eat feast will start at 4pm and is $40 per person. Beer and wine will be available. A percentage of the profits will go to the Douglas County Senior Center Soup Program in Gardnerville and Topaz. Last year the event was sold out a month prior to the event, so get your tickets now by calling (775)782-0758. Seating is limited, so get your tickets now!

LICENSED AND BONDED ELECTRICIAN, ADDITIONS, remodels, extra outlets, switches, light fixtures, ceiling fans, trouble shooting and power panel upgrades, etc., 18 years experience, Free Estimates, Senior Discount, Degenspark Electric NV#52647 (775)267-4229 COMPUTER PROBLEMS? ON SITE REPAIR and training, PC and network configuration, virus and spyware removal, serving Dayton and Carson, justin. nelson@goowy.com or call Justin (775)450-3735

MAINTENANCE FREE DECKS AND PATIO COVERS, knowledgeable, honest, professional service!

Serving Northern Nevada for 18+ years! Free Quotes!

K & C Construction, NV#0079034 (775)691-6462 REDLINE CONSTRUCTION, INC., SPECIALIZING in garages, additions, remodels, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, (775)781-3955 MASTER HOROLOGIST, CLOCK REPAIR, MUSEUM Quality Furniture, Chair Caning and Antique Everything Restoration, Grandfather Clock House Calls!

A-1 Restorations since 1967, Larry (775)782-2422

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Parenting with Purpose

By Mary Jane Battista, Coleville, CA

WNC Driver Education

WNC offers a 30 Hour New Driver Education classes throughout the winter and spring of 2017. In person class fee is $100. Winter break classes will be Tuesday – Thursday. All in person class times are 8:30am-4:30pm with a 30-minute lunch break. Also, included in our in person classes are guest speakers, when available are - law enforcement, insurance agents, DMV and sometimes a tire representative. Two things to remember all new drivers under the age of 18 MUST take a 30-Hour New Driver Education class to obtain a Nevada Driver’s License and most insurance companies will offer a discount upon successful completion of our nationally recognized Drive Right program.

Carson City – December 27th – 30th, 2016, Douglas - December 27th – 30th, 2016, Fallon - December 27th – 30th, 2016. Fernley - January 3rd to 6th, 2017.

WNC continues to offer an on-line 30-Hour New Driver Education course. Cost $90 and students have up to 60 days to complete the course. Register at www.campusce. net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4463.

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Curiosity killed the cat so they say! But how does a curious child learn to explore yet maintain good manners, especially when in someone else’s home? Parents can be lax in helping their children curb curiosity in settings other than in their own home. I am reminded of my cousin’s fascination with breaking Christmas ornaments on the floor while at a family holiday gathering. An adult in the room corrected him and his mother was insulted, saying, “he was having such a good time. Why did you ask him to stop?” Sometimes, squelching little Johnny’s inquisitive mind is not such a bad thing. Simply put, teach them to ask permission before they touch things that don’t belong to them. Teach them to not look through cupboards, closets or drawers unless they ask first. The same should apply for refrigerator raids. Most parents do teach manners to their kids but for the few who do not it makes for miserable and un - necessary moments. I have watched many kids pitch a fit because they want to have something that isn’t meant for them to have such as a breakable nic- nac or fiddling with someone’s TV or electronic device. The distraction method of giving them something different will often appease the situation, temporarily but in reality does not accomplish the goal of teaching your child that “No” means, exactly that! “NO!” A few good manners go a long way.

Proverbs 13:15 says, “Good understanding gains favor.”

When children learn appropriate ways to act respectably they will be well liked get along in varied situations.

Teach them to say “thank you” to parents who have hosted a sleepover or birthday party. Expressing good manners to others is as important as having respect for immediate family members. If your kids are invited to eat a meal at a friend’s home, teach them to bring their dishes to the sink and to offer help with doing the dishes.

Finally, instead of allowing your kids to call adults by their first name, teach them to use Mr. or Mrs. when speaking to them. Do these suggestions seem old fashioned? I am going to guess probably to most of you who are rearing young children and teens but Philippians 1:27 reminds us all to “Let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ.” Good manners never go out of style!

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Look For The Good

In the New Year, let’s resolve to get less stressed, upset, and anxious about things over which we have no control.

Let’s have a narrower focus on our lives, loving and helping our family and friends, making our community a better place to live, to create peace and contentment.

In the New Year, let’s resolve to pay less attention to depressing stories on TV, in magazines and newspapers, and to stop focusing on what we want that we haven’t got, instead of appreciating the many blessings we do have.

In the New Year, let’s look for the good.We may have to search through a mass of negative media, but the good is there, all around us.

Our wish for you is a New Year filled with good, engulfed in serenity and happiness!

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Happy January Birthdays!

May your special day bring plenty of excitement, fun and appreciation from those who love you. We wish that for every extra candle on your cake, you receive an extra reason to smile! Happy Birthday!

NICE BIG OAK TABLE WITH TWO LEAVES and chair $195; Independence Ironstone dishes, 8 piece setting, all white, nice for holidays $35 775-463-2749 ELECTROLYSIS AND LASER FOR HAIR REMOVAL; Complimentary, confidential consultation.

30 years experience. Weekday, evening, Saturday appointments available, Sally Battista (775)782-6190 The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers.

A BAD TILE JOB CAN BE LIKE A BAD HAIRCUT, but it doesn’t grow back, so don’t get hacked!

Done right the first time, Sundance Tile and Marble, NV#58795 (775)691-9954 Happy Holidays to Mike, Bob and Tatiana, from Paul

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PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)6901441 TOP CASH FOR PRE WWII SILVER INDIAN JEWELRY, postcards, bottles, mining, swords, advertising, books, guns, badges, toys, lamps, railroad, military, documents, Indian and gambling items, any condition, please call Ron (775)782-3893 RENNER’S TRUE VALUE HARDWARE; plumbing, electrical, post and fence, pre-mix cement bags, toys, pet food, household cleaners, we have everything you need! Smith Valley, Wellington, TRE (775)465-2217 HOT TUB SERVICE AND REPAIR, WEEKLY and bi weekly service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)2672490 PORSCHE 911 or 912 WANTED, NEEDED! IF you have one that is taking up space and you would like to move it to a new home, have cash and a trailer (775)291-6827 ONE HOUR MASSAGE $30 BY SPRING RANCH Spa, extra fee for mobile service, Donna/Coleville, CA#63979, NVMT7284 (760)616-4091

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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