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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”


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MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE - Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 17+ Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 STURDY HANDRAILS - GREAT FOR OUTSIDE entries / exit doors, mounts to any surface, weatherproof metal, standard and custom sizes (775)790-6445 SEW-WHAT UPHOLSTERY, CUSTOM work, leather and antiques, 40+ years experience, Carson Valley, Leslie (775)901-2035 MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 34 YEARS experience! Serving Carson Valley and surrounding areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351

MOVING SALE! EVERYTHING MUST GO! FURNITURE, all household items, tools, sports collectibles and so much more, call for appointment (775)309-5203 TAKING APPLICATIONS APRIL 1ST FOR PART TIME WAITRESS, will train, Applications available at Iggy and Squiggy’s Trailerhood Grill and Bar, Holbrook Junction WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood,, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)882-3999

1983 MERCEDES 380SL, 1976 EL CAMINO, 1987 CORVETTE $4,000 each, call for details; dual pane large vinyl window, call for dimensions, Dayton (775)720-2919

OAK BOOKCASE, RATTAN 5 SHELF ATTACHE, 2 drawer Oriental carved chest, black oriental credenza plus large Gong, crystal service pieces and stemware, 8 piece dinnerware set, other small pieces and plates, 2 wine racks, Oriental and Western pictures, handmade wall hanging, table and lamps, Squash Blossom necklace, records and tools (775)267-3867

J’S HANDYMAN SERVICE, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR, Landscape, Experienced, Quality Work, Free Estimates, call or text owner/operator Jeremy Rickerson (775)9013069

COUPLES THERAPY GARDNERVILLE: LONGER sessions, faster results. Book a free 20 minute consultation with Margaret at or call (775)2208817


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” WANTED – NEW OR USED: KNIVES – FOLDING, Hunting, Military; Tobacco Pipes, Old Coleman Lanterns, Old Backpacking Stoves, Jeff (775)720-2577 BATTLE BORN BLADE SHARPENING: BARBERS, Stylists and Pet Groomer Tool Sharpening, Sales and Service, Knives Sharpened and Repaired (775)238-3343 LAWN MAINTENANCE SERVICE, YARD CLEANING, mowing, sprinkler repairs, thatching, tree trimming, pruning, low prices with high quality, Martin M. Maintenance Services (530)721-5350

Swing Shift Custodian Wanted!

The Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for Swing Shift Custodian, George Whittell High School, Starting Salary: $16.69/hr., 40 hours per week / Full benefits. For more information, please contact Bill Blumenthal, Facilities Supervisor, Phone: (775)392-0745 15’ VALCO BOAT WITH EXTRA RIBS UNDERNEATH. It has a 60-30 HP factory 2 stroke Johnson motor, Jet drive, fish finder and depth finder. Galvanized trailer and rims, New tires. Electric start with tilt, it’s a great fishing boat $3,500, Please call if interested (775)434-7176 or (707)483-0698

Forgiveness is Divine

Some people view forgiveness, As a virtue for the weak. An act of Mercy undeserved, That serves no useful need. They stand firmly in their judgment, And won’t consider a mistake. They prefer to hold a senseless grudge, Than accept amends when made. They feel they have some Godly right, To reject and criticize. They’re possessed by righteous anger, And consumed by pointless pride. They’re focused on how they’ve been wronged, And won’t be made the fool again. So they feel they must avenge themselves, By refusing to give in. They will sacrifice their family, Or forsake a long, time friend. Do anything they have to do, To be the winner in the end. Or perhaps it’s that they can’t resolve, The depth of all their hurt. Caused when someone that they’ve trusted, Left them questioning their worth. But no matter why the struggle, Out of pride or out of fear. Not being able to forgive, Can cause the loss of ones most dear. Yes, forgiveness is a virtue, They even say it is divine. But more than that it sets you free, From what weighs you down inside. The best way to approach this life, Is to ask forgiveness and to forgive. There’s a balance to this crazy world, So live and just let live. (Pat Fleming)


$200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461

Finding perfect men

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. “The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!” An old granny overheard and spoke up, “Honey, if that’s all you want, get a TV!” CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Please leave clear message and phone number, Joanne (775)465-9422 SALE OR TRADE - 1997 SPRINGER HARLEY DAVIDSON $5,000 or 4X4 two door automatic truck (775)4633853

February 2nd- Groundhog Day

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How ‘Jingle Bells, Batman Smells’ became the ultimate holiday spoof

Why did “Jingle Bells” get this particular spoof? By the mid-’60s, the song had proven to be one of the most durable holiday tunes, having been recorded by more than 100 artists, including Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, and even the Beatles. Ubiquity led to parody; Spike Jones’s uptempo romp, Yogi Yorgesson (“Yingle Bells“) and the Three Stooges (“Jingle Bells Drag“) showed that “Jingle Bells” could be played for broader comedic effect. As writer Rob Weir documents on his blog, children began applying funny lyrics to the song’s simple rhymes and familiar melody at least as early as the 1950s, while wildly racist versions sprung up in the South in the 1950s and 1960s during the Civil Rights Movement. Based on some pretty convincing evidence, the Joker first got away to the jaunty tune shortly after the launch of the Adam West Batman series in September 1966. The show pulled such huge ratings that ABC aired two episodes a week, and Batman loomed large in the zeitgeist, dominating schoolyard discourse. A deep-dive investigation by Weir and editor Robert Evans of traces the provenance of the “Batman Smells” parody to Southern California. “Jingle Bells” was a perfect fit for Caped Crusader-obsessed kids, and the first version of Bat lyrics surfaced in the 1966 Christmas season. The authors found anecdotes suggesting the song was disseminated quickly via the large number of military families that passed through Southern California in the 1960s.

PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373 PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827

Ash Wednesday

The night of Ash Wednesday we had a dinner, followed by worship. During the dinner, a young mother came to me and said she overheard two 3rd graders talking earlier that day in school. The little girl asked the boy what that smudge was on his forehead. He replied, “Its Ash Wednesday.” “What’s Ash Wednesday?” She asked. “Oh, it’s when Christians begin their diet,” he replied. FRESH ROASTED GARLIC JAM, CARROLS CORNER, South Yerington, Delivery Available, for more information (775)846-8972 or (775)463-1265 PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, inside or out, Fences (775)901-1912


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Gardnerville’s Big Yellow House

New Trendy Salon in Downtown Carson!

Looking for stylist, nail technician, massage therapist. Pure Platinum Salon and Spa is on the 3rd floor at 501 S. Carson St. Suite 301 at 5th. Call Cindi as I have full time or part time positions available (916)708-9037 or (775)515-1485 BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND recolored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (775)233- 5297 PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, faux and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, (775)781-5531 or (775)315-5179 HOME FURNISHINGS TWO OAK BOOKCASES, small oak roll-top desk, two oak dinette chairs, corner TV stand, four metal filing cabinets, 8’ cargo glide for truck or call (775)781-0815 GUITAR PLAYERS! DO YOUR SKILLS NEED Improving? Want to jam? I’m in TRE and willing to travel, if interested give me a call, Clinton (562)228-5393 WANTED: LICENSE PLATES AND FRAMES; OLD MOTORCYCLE Helmets 1940-1980; Musical Instruments, John (775)315-4930


By Karen Dustman Do you know the big, two-story Yellow House at the “S” Bend in Gardnerville? We’ve always been curious about its history. So we started to dig a bit. Figuratively speaking, we came up with gold! Here’s the cool story of this beautiful house. Back in December, 1895, the local paper announced that builder Tom Browne was “erecting a residence” in Gardnerville. Turns out Browne had a darn good reason to be hurrying a new house along: he had just gotten married that October to Miss Jenette S. Van Sickle, the daughter of Peter Van Sickle. Browne was a well-known local carpenter, and a good one. And he didn’t just build houses, either. During the late 1880s and 1890s Browne’s work included a new dam for Joe Jones and a huge, 6-foot by 18-foot by 2-foot water tank for the front of Fettic’s Exchange. He built a 36 x 86-foot creamery at Fredericksburg, and a similar creamery in Smith Valley; a school in Yerington (plus a bridge across Walker River); and a two-story house on the J.H. Hickey ranch. In 1890, Browne helped add on a new addition to the beautiful Fred Bruns house in Fredericksburg. And he also made repairs to the St. Charles Hotel and the Genoa courthouse. The new house that Browne built for his bride in Gardnerville was a lavish 3,800 square feet! And it was assembled with a craftsman’s pride. Some sixty years later, the floors were said to be as level as the day the home was built. The house was originally painted yellow, too, just as it is today. But Browne and his new wife owned their beautiful new home for only about a decade. In October, 1906, H.C. (“Chris”) Dangberg purchased the “palatial” house, as his retirement home. The property later passed to his son George P. Dangberg (likely after his father died, in March, 1920). And for a time, it was apparently rented out. Then in August, 1929, George P. Dangberg sold the property to Dr. R.J. Sewell. Sewell was a medical doctor who had practiced briefly in Carson Valley in the 1920s, before moving to Ojai, California. But Sewell evidently kept an eye on local real estate. According to the newspaper, Dr. Sewell purchased the large house from George Dangberg for use as an “emergency hospital,” and later owners believe that it served in that capacity for a few years. In May, 1935, the property was snapped up by Lois Stewart, possibly thanks to a loan from her grandmother, Harriet Grover. A single mom, Lois had to work hard to make ends meet for herself and her three children. She drove the mail stage to Markleeville for thirty years, using a wagon or riding a horse in the early years. As time went by, she bought a four-wheel-drive Jeep. She added a trailer park in back of her home to bring in extra income, and kept chickens, a cow, and horses on her property. She also raised bummer lambs to sell, and did odd jobs. Lois remarried for a short time not long after purchasing the Yellow House, but divorced her second husband, Red Buck, in 1943. About 1948, Lois’s daughter, Edith, her husband and their two children moved into the Yellow House, too. The house

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was big enough they were able to create two separate apartments inside: one upstairs for Lois, and one downstairs for the younger generations. Lois’s grandchildren still fondly remember living with their grandmother in the big yellow house. After 24 years, Lois Buck finally sold the big yellow house to Barton and Greta DeHart in June 1959. The DeHarts lived in and loved this special home for over 42 years, selling it in December, 1999. Greta DeHart still fondly remembers all the work she and her husband put into renovating the gracious turn-of-the-century home. “There was no insulation in the house when we bought it,” she remembers. “We insulat-

ed the whole big attic ourselves, and we moved the kitchen back to where the kitchen originally had been. I stripped all the woodwork, and where there had been wallpaper, we resurfaced it with drywall.” Other improvements made by the DeHarts included adding beautiful Exminster carpet and repainting the outside in three shades of yellow, carefully matching the color to a bit of yellow paint they discovered from its earliest days. Just as you would expect, the gracious old home comes with its own share of ghost tales. Former owners describe an “energy” in the northeast corner of the living room, and visitors have reported... Continued on next page


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Best of Reno Presented by:

reno gazette journal

seeing the image of a little girl and a strange man in a long overcoat and cowboy hat. Perhaps most special of all, the house carries a hidden legacy from its original builder. During the renovation process, Greta discovered that the original builder, Thomas J. Browne, had left his name inscribed on a board inside a wall. Just like an artist, signing his masterpiece. For more about Karen, her books and other fun stuff she’s written, check out her website: CRAFTSMAN CONSTRUCTION LLC, Specializing in Painting, Remodels, Additions, Tile, Finish Carpentry, Decks, Home Repairs, Window and Door Replacement, Quality Workmanship with over 28 years experience, free estimates, Serving Carson Valley, NV Lic.60315, NVPainting Lic.82727 Find us on Facebook or (775)690-1749 ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, all water sports, furnished cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at or (800)459-5179 TAKE CARE OF YOUR LOVED ONES. WILLS and Trusts. Day R. Williams, Attorney at Law, 1601 Fairview Drive, Suite C, Carson City, NV. Call Day today! (775)885-8398


The Other Side

A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, ‘Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side.’ Very quietly, the doctor said, ‘I don’t know...’ ‘You don’t know? You’re, a Christian man, and don’t know what’s on the other side?’ The doctor was holding the handle of the door; On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness. Turning to the patient, the doctor said, ‘Did you notice my dog? He’s never been in this room before. He didn’t know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing... I know my Master is there and that is enough.’ DISABLED MAN NEEDS LIGHT HELP TRIMMING bushes, must haul away, will pay cash, call after 2pm (775)265-5148 THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The History of Aprons

Accepting Applications

Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for Nutrition Manager, Zephyr Cove Elementary School, Starting Salary: $15.04/hr., 5.75 hours per day / Full benefits; insurance, sick leave and retirement. For more information, please contact Jordy Foster, School Nutrition Coordinator, Phone: (775)782-7613 or apply online at NEVADA CCW CLASSES $50, EMAIL tacaimnv@gmail or call (775)360-5214 COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, or (775)265-1491 or (775)721-8439 “A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, or (775)530-8932 WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192

February 12th- Lincoln’s Birthday 10

I don’t think our kids know what an apron is. The principle use of Grandma’s apron was to protect the dress underneath because she only had a few. It was also because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and aprons used less material. But along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven. It was wonderful for drying children’s tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears. From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven. When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids... And when the weather was cold, Grandma wrapped it around her arms. Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove. Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron. From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls. In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees. When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds. When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner. It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that ‘old-time apron’ that served so many purposes. Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the windowsill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the windowsill to thaw. They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron. I don’t think I ever caught anything from an apron - but love. PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441 BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, snow removal, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629

Banana Split

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, “Crushed nuts?” “No,” he replied, “arthritis.”

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CASH FOR COWBOY HATS (775)762-2220 USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539

A Wife’s Promise

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything. And just before he died, he said to his wife, “Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife.” So, he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him. Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, and the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, “Wait just a minute!” She had a shoe box with her. She came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, “I hope you weren’t crazy enough to put all that money in the casket.”

She said, “Yes, I promised. I’m a good person. I can’t lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.” “You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?” “I sure did,” said the wife. “I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check.” GENEALOGY - THOROUGH RESEARCH OF FAMILY histories. A unique gift for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or yourself! www.PersonalPedigree. com or Lisa (775)450-3175


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” 1984 FORD XLT CLUB WAGON 460, 4 WHEEL drive, loaded, one owner, make offer upon inspection/bid process (775)265-1480

February is Heart Awareness Month

When I Become Old

When I’m a little old lady, then I’ll live with my children and bring them great joy. To repay all I’ve had from each girl and boy I shall draw on the walls and scuff up the floor; run in and out without closing the door. I’ll hide frogs in the pantry, socks under my bed. And whenever they scold me, I’ll hang my head. I’ll run and I’ll romp, always fritter away... the time to be spent doing chores every day. I’ll pester my children when they are on the phone. As long as they’re busy I won’t leave them alone. Hide candy in closets, rocks in a drawer... and never pick up what I drop on the floor. Dash off to the movies and not wash a dish. I’ll plead for allowance whenever I wish. I’ll stuff up the plumbing and deluge the floor. As soon as they’ve mopped it, I’ll flood it some more. When they correct me, I’ll lie down and cry, kicking and screaming, not a tear in my eye. I’ll take all their pencils and flashlights, and then... when they buy new ones, I’ll take them again. I’ll spill glasses of milk to complete every meal... Eat my banana and just drop the peel. Put toys on the table, spill jam on the floor. I’ll break lots of dishes as though I were four. What fun I shall have, what joy it will be to Live with my children... just the way that they lived with me! PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)2657081


Heart disease continues to be the number one killer in the US. Almost half of American adults have some form of cardiovascular disease according to the American Heart Association. Are you a high risk for developing heart disease? Smoking reduces the blood’s oxygen levels, HDL levels, and contributes to hormonal imbalances that are linked to cardiovascular disease, and high blood pressure. Elevated blood cholesterol contributes to plaque buildup if the arteries have been damaged. The Standard American diet consisting of processed and refined foods, foods high in trans and hydrogenated fats, and oxidized cholesterol found in smoked and BBQ meats, fried foods, and processed dairy products can lead to heart disease. Excessive alcohol can raise blood pressure and triglycerides. High blood pressure contributes to wear and tear on the vascular system and eventually damages the arteries. Our kidneys play a major role in blood pressure regulation, and the metabolism of many important cardiovascular supporting nutrients like the calcium, magnesium, sodium and potassium. Diabetes can raise your risk of developing high blood pressure putting more strain on your heart. High blood sugar levels may result in fatty deposits forming in our blood vessels leading to blood flow restriction and increasing the risk of atherosclerosis. Finally, obesity and physical inactivity decreases the functionality of our heart changing your cholesterol levels, increasing blood pressure requiring the heart to pump more blood. A balanced lifestyle will promote a healthy heart including eating a whole food diet consisting of primarily fruits and vegetables, whole grains, nuts, and seeds, regular physical exercise, adequate sleep, keeping hydrated, and ongoing stress management therapies. Love yourself, love your heart! Miriam is a Certified Wellness Coach and Holistic Nutrition Consultant. ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)265-4766 SOLID OAK PEDESTAL 42” ROUND TABLE WITH 18” leaf and four chairs $350 (775)783-1821

Pre-Birth Class

When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this: “Some parents,” she said, “tell the older child, ‘We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.’ But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, ‘Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.’” One of the women spoke up immediately. “Does she cook???”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Wife Control

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them were talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remained quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and said, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?” The third fellow says “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.” The first two guys were amazed. “What happened then?” they asked. “She said, ‘get out from under the bed and fight like a man!’” MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 40+ years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919 VOICE AND PIANO LESSONS, BEGINNER to Advanced students, experienced teacher, performer, music degree. Call The Songlady! Carolyn Lancaster (775)7201918 CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! REPAIR, RE-STITCH, Replace; Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/Minden (775)267-4434 or (775)230-8706

February 14th- Valentine’s Day ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174 HYDRAULIC CYLINDER REPAIR AND REBUILD, All makes models and year, Commercial Equipment, Tractors, Log splitters, Farm equipment, Dump Trucks and Trailers, Boats and RVs, Welding and Machining, Ramco Fabrication, or (775)2677358


Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet. Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your Toothbrush. EXREMELY GOOD DESIGNER JEWELRY, DESIGNER clothing, purses, antiques, antique clock and so much more! (775)782-8211 ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174 REMINGTON 700 CLASSIC 1989 300 WEATHERBY magnum, excellent condition, with scope $1,100, Gardnerville (530)409-2398


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Cute Story of Classroom Friends

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment and, as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers. That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper and listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. “Really?” she heard whispered. “I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!” and “I didn’t know others liked me so much.” So went most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on. HANDYMAN SERVICE – HOME REPAIRS, FENCING Repair/Replacement, Hauling, Trash Removal, Shrub and Tree Trimming and Removal, and Weed Removal, Free Estimates (775)781-1747 1999 34’ FLEETWOOD PACE ARROW VISION, 41,060 miles on Titan V10, dual heaters and ACs, 2 slideouts, Onan Marquis 5500 generator, 7 storage bins, 15’ Awning, $12,000 OBO; 3.2 cubic foot chest freezer $100 (775)600-3856

The Rookie

A conceited new rookie was pitching his first league game. He walked the first five men he faced and the manager took him out of the game. The rookie slammed his glove on the ground as he yelled, “It’s outrageous, the jerk took me out when I had a no-hitter going.” POWERMATE PORTABLE GENERATOR, POWERED by 3500 running watts, 4375 maximum watts, new, never used $350 OBO (775)364-4769 GET FAST INTERNET! UP TO 40 MBPS, WIRELESS! (not satellite, not DSL). Great in rural areas, or call Patrick (775)297-4777

Life is like a camera....

Just focus on what’s important and capture the good times... develop from the negatives and if things don’t work out... just take another shot.

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Happy Birthday Dad!

Life is like a journey on a train with its stations, with changes of routes and with accidents! At birth we boarded the train and met our parents, and we believe they will always travel on our side. However, at some station our parents will step down from the train, leaving us on this journey alone. As time goes by, other people will board the train; and they will be significant i.e. our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of our life. Many will step down and leave a permanent vacuum. Others will go so unnoticed that we don’t realize that they vacated their seats! This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, goodbyes, and farewells. Success consists of having a good relationship with all the passengers…requiring that we give the best of ourselves. The mystery to everyone is: We do not know at which station we ourselves will step down. So, we must live in the best way – Love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are. It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to step down and leave our seat empty, we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train of life without us. I wish you a joyful journey for the coming years on your train of life. Reap success, give lots of love and be happy. More importantly, be thankful for the journey! May God guide every single step you take in life and lead you to destinations that fill your heart with joy and happiness. Happy birthday. Love always, Lisa


GREATER HEALTH IS WITHIN YOUR REACH! Customized Wellness Coaching and Nutrition Consulting. Wellness Coaching, Whole Body Tune-up, Healthy Weight Management, Meal Planning, and more. Call now for complimentary consultation. www.positivelywhole. com (702)460-7205 PAINTING BY ART - STAINING AND PAINTING done at affordable rates, personal service with 18 years experience, call for free estimate, Gardnerville (775)857-0532

Flower Show

Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. One leaned over and said, “Life is so darn boring. We never have any fun anymore. For $5.00, I’d take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!’ “You’re on!” said the other old lady, holding up a $5.00 bill. The first fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked through the front door of the flower show. Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause. The naked lady burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd. “What happened?” asked her waiting friend. “I won 1st prize as Best Dried Arrangement!”

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CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: All types including Silver, Copper, Rhinestones, Old Plastics, Glass, Pot Metal, Pins, Bracelets, Rings, Necklaces, Old Watches, Lockets, larger quantities preferred, please leave phone number and clear message on home phone, I call everyone back, Joanne (775)465-9422

PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065

Thoughtful, Thoughtful Man!

With a man soon to celebrate his 50th wedding anniversary at the church’s marriage marathon, the minister asked Pete to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to maintain his marriage with the same woman all these years. The husband replied to the audience, “Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions.” The minister inquired, “Trips to where”? “For our 25th anniversary, I took her to IRELAND.” The minister then said, “What a terrific example you are to all husbands, Pete. Please tell the audience what you’re going to do for your wife on your 50th anniversary.” Pete said, “I’m going to go and get her.”

HARLEY DAVIDSON! 25 JACKETS AND LEATHER JACKETS, some never worn, Extra large and XX, large helmet and 2 small helmets, rain outfit, bike speakers and more, John (775)230-1175 WE ARE CONSTRUCTION BOOKKEEPING SPECIALISTS – Serving both general and specialty contractors with 30+ years of bookkeeping, payroll and tax experience. If you can’t keep up with your workload give us a call Pro-Balanced Bookkeeping & Tax Service (775)2463363

Maxine on ...

“Driver Safety” - “I can’t use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.”....... “Housework” - “I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible.” “Lawn Care” - “The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless.” “The Perfect Man” - “All I’m looking for is a guy who’ll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed.” G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

A Story of Familial Love

The following account is not attributed to an author. However, there is a copyright filed in 1933 by J. Greenwald called “The Legend of the Praying Hands by Albrecht Durer.” Back in the 16th century, in a tiny village near Nuremberg, lived a family with 18 children. In order to keep food on the table for his brood, Albrecht Durer the Elder, the father and head of the household, was a goldsmith by profession and worked almost 18 hours a day at his trade and any other paying chore he could find in the neighborhood Despite the family strain, two of Durer’s male children, Albrecht the Younger and Albert, had a dream. They both wanted to pursue their talent for art, but they knew that their father would never be financially able to send either of them to Nuremberg to study at the academy there. After many long discussions at night in their crowded bed, the two boys finally worked out a pact. They would toss a coin. The loser would go to work in the nearby mines and, with his earnings, support his brother while he attended the academy. Then, in four years, when that brother who won the toss completed his studies, he would support the other brother at the academy, either with sales of his artwork or, if necessary, also by laboring in the mines. They tossed a coin on a Sunday morning after church. Albrecht the Younger won the toss and went off to Nuremberg. Albert went down into the dangerous mines and, for the next four years, financed his brother, whose work at the academy


was almost an immediate sensation. Albrecht’s etchings, his woodcuts and his oils were far better than those of most of his professors, and by the time he graduated, he was beginning to earn considerable fees for his commissioned works. When the young artist returned to his village, the Durer family held a festive dinner on their lawn to celebrate Albrecht’s triumphant homecoming. After a long and memorable meal, punctuated with music and laughter, Albrecht rose from his honored position at the head of the table to drink a toast to his beloved brother for the years of sacrifice that had enabled Albrecht to fulfill his ambition. His closing words were, “And now, Albert, blessed brother of mine, now it is your turn. Now you can go to Nuremberg to pursue your dream, and I will take care of you.” All heads turned in eager expectation to the far end of the table where Albert sat, tears streaming down his pale face, shaking his lowered head from side to side while he sobbed and repeated, over and over, “No.” Finally, Albert rose and wiped the tears from his cheeks. He glanced down the long table at the faces he loved, and then, holding his hands close to his right cheek, he said softly, “No, brother. I cannot go to Nuremberg. It is too late for me. Look what four years in the mines have done to my hands! The bones in every finger have been smashed at least once, and lately I have been suffering from arthritis so badly in my right hand that I cannot even hold a glass to return your toast, much less make delicate lines on parchment or canvas with a pen or a brush. No, brother, for me it is too late.” More than 450 years have passed. By now, Albrecht Durer’s hundreds of masterful portraits, pen and silver-point sketches, watercolors, charcoals, woodcuts, and copper engravings hang in every great museum in the world, but the odds are great that you, like most people, are familiar with Albrecht Durer’s most famous work, “Praying Hands.” Some believe that Albrecht Durer painstakingly drew his brother’s abused hands with palms together and thin fingers stretched skyward in honor of his brother Albert. He called his powerful drawing simply “Hands,” but the entire world almost immediately opened their hearts to his great masterpiece and renamed his tribute of love, “Praying Hands.” JR POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE AND REPAIR, ALL makes, models and years; Quads, OHV, Dirt and Street Bikes; from tune up to full rebuild. 35 years experience! Dayton, or (775)241-2530 D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)6710808 ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)721-2880

February 17th- President’s Day

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” ARIENS RIDING LAWNMOWER, 7 YEARS old, 3 bagger, maintained with low hours, looks and runs great $1,250, Stan (775)265-5333

The Traffic Sign

Dogs and cats...

are better than kids. They eat less, don’t ask for money all the time, are easier to train, never drive your car, don’t hang out with drug-using friends, don’t smoke or drink, don’t worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don’t wear your clothes, and don’t need a gazillion dollars for college. Also, if they get pregnant, you can sell the children! HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30+ years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick–up and delivery, parts in one day! or (530)694-2521 Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome., (775)782-4520

Douglas Democrats Monthly Meetings…

The fourth Thursday of each month from 6:30pm to 8:30pm at their headquarters 1758 US-395 N, Unit K, (Ironwood Center), Minden. Presentation and discussion. Gather and chat 6:30pm, meeting starts at 7:00pm sharp, or (775)783-1903


Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day Farmer John called the sheriff’s office and said, “You’ve got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens.” “What do you want me to do?” asked the sheriff. “I don’t care, just do something about those crazy drivers!” So the next day he had the county workers go out and erected a sign that said: SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, “You’ve got to do something about these drivers. The ‘school crossing’ sign seems to make them go even faster.” So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY That really made the drivers speed up even faster. So Farmer John called and called and called every day for three weeks. Finally, he asked the sheriff, “Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?” The sheriff told him, “Sure thing, put up your own sign.” He was going to let the Farmer John do just about anything in order to get him to stop calling everyday to complain. The sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John. Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the sheriff and he decided to give Farmer John a call. “How’s the problem with those drivers? Did you put up your sign?” “Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I’ve got to go. I’m very busy.” He hung up the phone. The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself, “I’d better go out there and take a look at that sign... It might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers...” So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John’s house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign. It was spraypainted on a sheet of wood: NUDIST COLONY Go slow and watch out for chicks!! HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK RESURFACING and repair, interior doors, windows and interior/ exterior trim, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235 BATTLE BORN SMALL ENGINES, LOCATED AT 5460 US Hwy 50 East in Carson City, NV. Lawn mowers, trimmers, snow blowers, chainsaws, leaf blowers, tractor repair, trailer repair, along with welding and fabrication! Please give us a call at (775)434-7028 to schedule your service or repair. Competitive rates and friendly faces. We can’t wait to meet you.

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U.S. had slowest growth rate in a century

The past year’s population growth rate in the United States was the slowest in a century due to declining births, increasing deaths and the slowdown of international migration, according to figures released Monday by the U.S. Census Bureau. The U.S. grew from 2018 to 2019 by almost a half percent, or about 1.5 million people, with the population standing at 328 million this year, according to population estimates. That’s the slowest growth rate in the U.S. since 1917 to 1918, when the nation was involved in World War I, said William Frey, a senior fellow at The Brookings Institution. For the first time in decades, natural increase — the number of births minus the number of deaths — was less than 1 million in the U.S. due to an aging population of Baby Boomers, whose oldest members entered their 70s within the past several years. As the large Boomer population continues to age, this trend is going to continue. “Some of these things are locked into place. With the aging of the population, as the Baby Boomers move into their 70s and 80s, there are going to be higher numbers of deaths,” Frey said. “That means proportionately fewer women of child bearing age, so even if they have children, it’s still going to be less.”

WE’LL KEEP YOU IN STITCHES, WE COVER autos, furniture and ATV’s, 47 years experience, Tweeds Upholstery, Gardnerville, or (775)782-5812 $69 SERVICE CALL, ACADEMY APPLIANCE Service; washers, dryers, refrigerators, ranges, dishwashers, compactors, some areas extra charge, Serving Carson Valley (775)781-4725

February 26th- Ash Wednesday

FOUR USED STUDDED COOPER TIRES 175-65R/14 $135 OBO (775)841-3815


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 21 years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453

Enjoy the good ole days all over again!

The Lizard Lounge Music and Shoppe

Repairs, Consignment, Lessons, Official Whites Metal Detectors Dealer, Metal Detecting Lessons and Field Trips, Follow us on Facebook, 1302 Langley Drive Suite #1, Gardnerville Ranchos (775)392-4321 WE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR PETS IN YOUR home, all sizes, we WILL spoil them as you do, call for meet and greet, 10 years experience, housekeeping available too, Serving Dayton, Carson City, Douglas County, Johnnell and Al (209)986-6381


Looking back, it was the best of times. it’s hard to believe that we have lived as long as we have. Do you remember the good old days like this? As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat. Our houses and baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors, or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. (Let’s not even mention hitchhiking to town as a young kid!) We slept without flame retardant pajamas, without air conditioning, with doors and windows open. Our dogs did not have rabies shots, distemper shots, parvo shots, and we didn’t pour chemicals on them or on us to repel fleas and ticks and mosquitoes. We followed along in the big white clouds sprayed out by the city trucks to kill mosquitoes breathing in the wonderful smell of DDT. We raced around town without adults on Halloween, collecting treats and eating them as we went along without having them x-rayed first. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times we learned to solve the problem. We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. We played dodgeball and sometimes the ball would really hurt. We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, fried fat back for breakfast along with biscuits made with pure lard, and drank sugar sodas, but we were never overweight.... we were always outside playing. We played with cap pistols and toy rifles and rubber knives. We took snakes or frogs or lizards to school, but never guns. We waded barefoot through muddy water in ditches catching tadpoles and crawdads. We cut the grass with push mowers, climbed trees, and walked along the top of fences like they were tight ropes. We petted stray dogs and cats and took them home to see if we could keep them. We shot off fireworks without supervision or safety precautions and without getting arrested. We made match guns out of clothes pins and shot flaming matches at each other and at passing cars. We walked or rode our bicycles to and from school in the flaming heat, in the freezing cold, and in the pouring rain. We were not afraid to accept a ride home from a total stranger when it was raining. We knocked on strangers’ doors without fear when we were searching for our missing puppy or kitten. We left our bicycle lying in the middle of the front yard at night, and it would still be there in the morning. There were tryouts for cheerleader and Little League, and

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not everyone made the teams. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Some students weren’t as smart as others, so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade as many times as necessary. We didn’t wear designer clothes to school or drive shiny new cars to high school. If we had a car to drive, we were happy with anything that would run no matter what it looked like. We had never even heard of seatbelts or airbags, which probably would not have done any good anyway with ten people packed into a Volkswagen. That generation produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, clipper blades, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079 MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627

Happy February Birthdays!

“A wish for you on your birthday, whatever you ask may you receive, whatever you seek may you find, whatever you wish may it be fulfilled on your birthday and always. Happy birthday to you!!”

MAINTENANCE FREE DECKS AND PATIO COVERS, knowledgeable, honest, professional service! Serving Northern Nevada for 18+ years! Free Quotes! K & C Construction, NV#0079034 (775)691-6462

I forgot!

Skinny people really irritate me! Especially when they say things like, “You know, sometimes I forget to eat.” Now, I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys. But I’ve never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers/Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Free Estimates, 10+ Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585 RESIDENTIAL CLEANING, LICENSED, BONDED and insured with references, Free estimates, great cleaning, fair prices, Samantha (775)220-4252

Berean Bible Church, Christ Alone!

Pastor Luke Wartgow - Sunday Worship Service 9:30am; Children’s Sunday School provided. Women’s Bible Study – Friday’s 8am; Men’s Bible Study – Fridays 8am; CoEd Bible Study – Tuesdays 5pm. 1516 Hwy. 395, Gardnerville (in the HAAS Center) or call (775)782-3931


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

HOT TUB SERVICE, WEEKLY AND BI WEEKLY service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, hot tub cover sales, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)267-2490

Take Off Pounds Sensibly!

TOPS is a non-profit weight loss support program. Meets Thursdays 9am to 10am at Douglas County Community Center; Drop-in or for more information call Juanita (775)2679471 or Marcia (775)783-7620 EC SERVICES QUALITY CLEANING, SAVE UP to $125 - Ask us how! Licensed and Insured - Established 2013, Serving Douglas County and Carson City (855)5139253 PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free.


Fifty years from now....

Three elderly people were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now. “I would like my grandchildren to say, ‘He was successful in business,’” declared the first man. “Fifty years from now,” said the second, “I want them to say, ‘He was a loyal family man.’” Turning to the third one, a lady, he asked, “So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?” “Me?” the third one replied. “I want them to say, ‘She certainly looks good for her age.’” HOUSECLEANING, DEEP CLEANING, MOVE OUTS, Free estimates, 5 years experience, Licensed and Insured, Serving Carson, Douglas County and Dayton, Call Sonia (775)409-7212 FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)7828776 MOUNTAIN DESERT BUILDERS: SPECIALIZING in remodels, one room to the entire home, including decks, windows, doors, siding and trim, Lic.#83159, Call Eamonn (775)781-4753

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” SPECIALIZING IN GARAGES, ADDITIONS, REMODELS, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, Redline Construction Inc. (775)781-3955

Jail vs Home

Re-luster / Refurbish Kitchen Cabinetry

3 Day Service Don’t paint-out or replace your existing cabinetry until you look at our services. The Great Basin, Tahoe & Truckee areas have the highest UV and driest climate in the USA, damaging your cabinets’ finish. We have a whole new method and new concept, with years of experience, developed right here, for our climate! Our less intrusive process is many times less costly than painting or replacing! You don’t even empty your cabinets! Just 3 days, in & out for basic refurbishing. Add a day or two for color options like tinting/glazing. We have exclusive and proprietary professional products to enhance, renew and refurbish over your original finish. We normally work 9am to 4pm; and clean up each afternoon, returning your kitchen to you until the next morning. Our deep cleaning professional and refurbishing products are hand rubbed, dustless, UV protected and EPA Nevada & California compliant. For photos, on-site inspections, sampling, client testimonials, referrals, Call Dan: (775)781-7862 or Kathy: 775-7827821. @ CABINETS ETC. email: danakathy-pc@hotmail. com Nevada License #18331, California License #310071, Insured. HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/ INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)691-5119


In prison, you get three square meals a day. At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it. In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle. At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow it so your kids can spread more toys all over it so that you can go out and clean it again because little Jr. can’t sleep without his latest Lego creation. In prison, you get to watch TV, cable even. At home, you get to listen to your children fight over the remote control and get treated to hours and hours of mindless cartoons thanks to cable. In prison, you can read whatever you want and attend college for free. At home, you get to read weekly readers starring Dick, Jane, and Spot and worry about how to send Jr. to college and still be able to eat for the next twenty years. In prison, all your medical care is free. At home, you have to pawn your mother’s silver and fill out trillions of papers for insurance and hope the doctor will see you before you die. In prison, if you have visitors, all you do is go to a room, sit, talk and then say good-bye when you are ready or your time is up. At home, you get to clean for days in advance and then cook and clean up after your guests and hope that they will one day leave. In prison, you can spend your free time writing letters or just hang out in your own space all day. At home, you get to clean your space and everyone else’s space, too, and what the heck is free time again? In prison, you get your own personal toilet. At home, you have to physically hold the bathroom door shut in order to keep from having someone standing over you demanding to know how long till you’re done so you can do something for them. In prison, the prison laundry takes care of all your dirty clothes. At home, you get to take care of them yourself, plus everybody else’s, and get yelled at because somebody’s favorite shirt isn’t clean. In prison, they take you everywhere you need to go. At home, you take everybody else where they need to go. In prison, the guards transport all your personal effects for you and make sure nothing is missing. At home, you have to lug around everybody else’s stuff in your purse and then wonder who went in it and took your last dollar. In prison, there are no screaming or whining children or spouses asking you to do something else for them, or screaming at you because you didn’t. At home... stop me when I get to the downside of jail, will ya? FITNESS, NUTRITION, SELF DEFENSE AND MORE! Kickboxing, mixed martial arts, customized meal plan, weight loss, and personal training. 1758 HWY 395 Suite F. Minden, NV Spartan’s Den MMA (208)340-6097 Legion Fitness (725)222-0775 HANDY HAMILTONS HANDYMAN SERVICES, Experienced Handyman, Quality work at a fair price, Free estimates, Call Mark Hamilton (775)720-9595

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Signs of True Love

A group of women were at a seminar on ‘how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands’. The women were asked, “How many of you love your husband?” All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?” Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn’t remember. The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: “I love you, Sweetheart!” Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with one another and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message. Below are 11 hilarious replies. If you have been married for a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love. Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way? 1. Who the he#@ is this? 2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what? 3. Yeah, and I love you too. What’s wrong? 4. What now? Did you wreck the car again? 5. I don’t understand what you mean? 6. What the he#@ did you do now? 7. Don’t beat around the bush, just tell me how much you need? 8. Am I dreaming? 9. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die. 10. I thought we agreed you wouldn’t drink during the day. 11. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn’t she?


AUTISM, ATTENTION THERAPY, ANXIETY, social and focus issues, for children and adults, certified in Safe and Sound Protocol, Call Meredyth (805)674-2867 INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX preparation, Federal and all States, prior years, audit representation, 30 years experience, reasonable rates (775)392-0418

Got Cha

On their way home after celebrating their 25th anniversary, she thanks him for a wonderful evening. “Oh. It’s not over yet”, says the husband. Once in the house, he gives her a little black velvet box. She opens it in anticipation, “But what are these two little pills?” “Aspirin,” he says. HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)267-1958 MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501

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Behind the wheel...

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the driver, he was astounded to see that the woman behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn, and yelled, “PULLOVER!” “NO,” the woman yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!” CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWERLY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred. Please leave phone number and clear message on this home phone. I return all calls. Call Joanne at (775)465-9422 SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two-story houses, based in Minden area, call John (831)801-0003

Drivers Wanted

The Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for: Substitute School Bus Drivers, Starting Salary: $15.42/hour, Varied Hours up to 40 hours a week, Apply online:

The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers. ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $499, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994

Douglas County Republican Women’s...

February meeting will be held on Wednesday February 5th at a new location - Valley Christian Fellowship 1681 Lucerne, Minden (Old Lira’s Market). Doors open at 11:00 a.m. A light lunch will be provided for $15.00. The scheduled guest speaker is Melissa Clement, President of NV Right to Life. Raffle tickets are available for purchase as well as a 50/50 drawing. Gift items are also available for purchase at the boutique. RSVP to Maxine - 775-392-3761. HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 195060’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)2916827

Happiness depends upon ourselves. –Aristotle


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Words of Encouragement

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” “One has to remember that every failure can be a stepping stone to something better.” “When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” “I am grateful for all of my problems. After each one was overcome, I became stronger and more able to meet those that were still to come. I grew in all my difficulties.” “A bend in the road is not the end of the road… unless you fail to make the turn.” “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” “The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning.” “It doesn’t matter how many say it cannot be done or how many people have tried it before; it’s important to realize that whatever you’re doing, it’s your first attempt at it.” “If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.”

First Groundhog Day

On this day in 1887, Groundhog Day, featuring a rodent meteorologist, is celebrated for the first time at Gobbler’s Knob in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. According to tradition, if a groundhog comes out of its hole on this day and sees its shadow, it gets scared and runs back into its burrow, predicting six more weeks of winter weather; no shadow means an early spring. Groundhog Day has its roots in the ancient Christian tradition of Candlemas, when clergy would bless and distribute candles needed for winter. The candles represented how long and cold the winter would be. Germans expanded on this concept by selecting an animal–the hedgehog–as a means of predicting weather. Once they came to America, German settlers in Pennsylvania continued the tradition, although they switched from hedgehogs to groundhogs, which were plentiful in the Keystone State. RENT ME FOR WINTER CLEANING, PUT A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove (775)2972320 CAGE FREE DOG DAYCARE AND BOARDING in Gardnerville (next to post office), will provide a fun, safe environment giving your pet the socialization and exercise he/she needs, call now for reservations (775)782-4695


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Sierra Scoop arrives in the home on or before the 1st of the month. We are the best read "Shoppers Guide in the Sierra" consisting of great...

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Sierra Scoop arrives in the home on or before the 1st of the month. We are the best read "Shoppers Guide in the Sierra" consisting of great...