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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 14+ Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 HANDYMAN, EXPERIENCED IN MOST HOME Improvements or Repairs, Quality Workmanship, Insured, NV#20101037419 (775)781-5531 or (775)315-5179 ACME HEATING AND AIR CONDITIONING Specializing in mobile homes; Emergency repairs, Sales, Service, Replacements, all makes and models, Free estimates on replacement furnaces and air conditioners, NV LIC#014612 (775)883-3220, Emergency (775)691-3185 ROLL AROUND TOOL CHEST; TRAY, 6 DRAWERS and bin, good condition, will negotiate on individual contents if desired $250, Carson City (775)762-2220 ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, all water sports, furnished cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at eaglelakeheritage.com or (800)459-5179

CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWERLY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred. Please leave clear message on this home phone. I return all calls. Call Joanne at (775)4659422 FRESH BATCH, NEW CROP! ROASTED GARLIC Jam, Sold at Scolari’s Market, Carrols Corner, South Yerington, for more information (775)846-8972 or (775)463-1265 WINCHESTER MODEL 1892 RIFLE, ALSO KNOWN as the Fancy 92, 24” Octagon barrel, 38-40 caliber, factory checkered pistol grip stock, also take down version into two pieces, Nevada residents only and by appointment only (775)265-5961 MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 30 + YEARS experience! Serving Carson Valley and surrounding areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351 RENT ME FOR WINTER CLEANING, PUT A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove (775)2972320

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” We Don’t Wear Signs

As I was pulling into work, I was following this car. The sign in the back window says, “Learning stick sorry for any delay.” Knowing this information, I was very patient with their slow shifting, and honestly, they were doing pretty well for still learning. Then I asked myself a tough question: Would I have been just as patient if the sign hadn’t been there? I can almost definitely say no. We don’t know what someone is going through. We don’t wear signs that illustrate our personal struggles. You don’t see signs taped to people’s shirts that say, “Going through a divorce” or “Lost a child” or “Feeing depressed” or “Diagnosed with cancer.” If we could read visually what those around us are going through we would definitely be nicer. But we shouldn’t have to see signs and have reasons to treat strangers with kindness. We should do it anyway, whether we know what is going on or not. Whether they deserve it or not. Let’s give everyone an extra dose of patience, kindness, and love. HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK RESURFACING and repair, interior doors, windows and interior/exterior trim, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235

JOB FAIRS! INTERVIEWS! ARE YOU PREPARED? A great resume is your key to success. Military discount. (DD214 required) Call The Resume Business now! (775)267-2711 COMPLETE LAWNCARE, PAVERS, RETAINING walls and more! 30 years in Carson Valley, Senior Discounts And Free Estimates, Nevada Lawns (775)4502156 AIR COMPRESSOR FOR SALE: CRAFTSMAN Professional, 5.4HP, 80 gallon, 240V, 175PSI, 2-stage, single phase, oil lubricated, cast iron V pump $550 (530)4952787 ALL AMERICAN OVERHEAD DOOR, NEW INSTALLATION, repairs and service, commercial/residential, 10% discount for spring repair, Free Estimates and Senior Discount (775)450-2156 SEW-WHAT UPHOLSTERY, CUSTOM work, leather and antiques, 40+ years experience, Carson Valley, Leslie (775)901-2035 DANUSER POSTHOLE DIGGER PTO 12” auger $500 (530)330-6331

MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501 MOVING SALE! FRIDAY – SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 9th, 10th, 11th; leather recliner sofa and matching love seat, curved glass China hutch, glass door Secretary, day bed, small farm table, floor lamp, white metal patio chairs and small round table, folding camp table, bench vise, hand power tools, 2-person REI tent, reclining patio lounge chair, sport fishing books, 1316 Chichester Drive, Gardnerville, For advanced purchase call (530)388-8301

Remain Independent – Remain at Home

The “little things” may become increasingly difficult as we age, but this doesn’t mean it’s time to surrender. We provide affordable, non-medical assistance for seniors at home. Light housekeeping, meal prep, bathing/grooming, companionship, family relief, and incidental transportation to appointments. A few hours to 24/7 care. Eden Home Care, eden-health.com (775)392-2000 WINTER SPECIALS! CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! Repair, Re-Stitch, Replace; Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Spa Sun Covers and Patio Shade; Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/Minden (775)267-4434 or (775)230-8706

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HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 195060’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)2916827 LET US UNLOAD ON YOU! TOP SOIL, ROCK, DG, worm castings etc. Tight time line? We’re really fast! 30+ years experience, serving Carson and surrounding communities, Nevada Organics (775)882-9500 PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, inside or out, Fences (775)901-1912 APPLIANCE REPAIR! SAVE $25 ON YOUR NEXT in-home appliance repair, with this ad! Serving Carson City, Dayton, Minden for over 30 years. New and Used Sales, Sams TV and Appliance, 1501 Fairview (775)8851939 BEAUTIFUL SWEET HOME WOOD STOVE FOR sale, heats up to 1,400 square feet, burns less wood and produces more heat, good condition $200 (775)790-1912

February 2nd- Groundhog Day

How to Stay Young!

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight, and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay ‘them.’ 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. 3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ 4. Enjoy the simple things. 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. 6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves (and GOD). Be ALIVE while you are alive. 7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge. 8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. 9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to another state, but NOT to where the guilt is. 10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672 HIGH DESERT BARNS, CUSTOM STEEL BUILDINGS, Horse Shelters, Quality Barns built with 25 years of experience, highdesertbarns.com or (775)246-3004

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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Purina Diet

Yesterday I was at my local super market buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well, and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a golden retrievers bottom and a car hit us both. D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work & yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs & weed abatement, house garage & clean ups, Dave (775)671-0808

LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers, Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Snow Removal, Small Paint Jobs, Free Estimates, 10 Years Experience, Ruben (775)4303585

Flying Pig Flea Market

Happy New Year to all! Our next dates will be February 24th, 8am-4pm and February 25th, 9am-4pm, Fuji Park Building, Carson City. Be a vendor. Come to browse, for information call (775)882-4717 or (775)315-0008 FOR SALE: UNDERGROUND PRIMARY WATER rights, Smith Valley, Bob (775)781-0244 COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, davenportlandscape.com or (775)2651491 or (775)721-8439 WE’LL KEEP YOU IN STITCHES, WE COVER autos, furniture and ATV’s, 47 years experience, Tweeds Upholstery, Gardnerville, tweedsupholstery@yahoo.com or (775)782-5812

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Wrong Funeral

Pallbearers

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, “They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive, I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.” DO YOU NEED SOMEONE TO HELP YOU AT HOME? I am an experienced caregiver and aide. I am also understanding of your needs. I will do personal care, medication reminders, driving, light housekeeping, delicious cooking, filing and paperwork, companionship and pet care. Serving Minden, Gardnerville and Carson City, Call Christine (775)901-7042 ELECTRICAL PROBLEMS? MAKE THEM GO away! No job too small! New construction, remodels, service and repair, Pigman Electric, NV#73243, CA#610417 (775)721-9491 60’S WROUGHT IRON PATIO TABLE WITH 4 CHAIRS, needs glass top $150 (775)392-1156 GRASS-FED BEEF, ALL LOCALLY GROWN, $4.25 per pound hanging weight, works out to about $6 per pound cut and wrapped (775)721-1574

I was at the funeral of my dearest friend, ¬ my mother. She finally had lost her long battle with cancer. The hurt was so intense; I found it hard to breathe at times. Always supportive, mother clapped loudest at my school plays, held the box of tissues while listening to my first heartbreak, comforted me at my father’s death, encouraged me in college, and prayed for me my entire life. When mother’s illness was diagnosed, my sister had a new baby and my brother had recently married his childhood sweetheart, so it fell on me, the 27-year-old middle child without entanglements, to take care of her. I counted it an honor. ‘What now, Lord?’ I asked sitting in church. My life stretched out before me as an empty abyss. My brother sat stoically with his face toward the cross while clutching his wife’s hand. My sister sat slumped against her husband’s shoulder, his arms around her as she cradled their child. All so deeply grieving, no one noticed I sat alone. My place had been with our mother, preparing her meals, helping her walk, taking her to the doctor, seeing to her medication, reading the Bible together. Now she was with the Lord... My work was finished, and I was alone. I heard a door open and slam shut at the back of the church. Quick footsteps hurried along the carpeted floor. An exasperated young man looked around briefly and then sat next to me. He folded his hands and placed them on his lap. His eyes were brimming with tears. He began to sniffle. “I’m late,” he explained, though no explanation was necessary. After several eulogies, he leaned over and commented, “Why do they keep calling Mary by the name of Margaret?’’ “Because, that was her name, Margaret. Never Mary, no one called her Mary,’” I whispered. I wondered why this person couldn’t have sat on the other side of the church. He interrupted my grieving with his tears and fidgeting. Who was this stranger anyway? “Isn’t this the Lutheran church?” “No, the Lutheran church is across the street.” “Oh.” “I believe you’re at the wrong funeral, Sir.” The solemnest of the occasion mixed with the realization of the man’s mistake bubbled up inside me and came out as laughter. I cupped my hands over my face, hoping it would be interpreted as sobs. The creaking pew gave me away. Sharp looks from other mourners only made the situation seem more hilarious. I peeked at the bewildered, misguided man seated beside me. He was laughing too, as he glanced around, deciding it was too late for an uneventful exit. I imagined Mother laughing. At the final ‘Amen,’ we darted out a door and into the parking lot. “I do believe we’ll be the talk of the town,” he smiled. He said his name was Rick and, since he had missed his aunt’s funeral, asked me out for a cup of coffee. That afternoon began a lifelong journey for me with this man who

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attended the wrong funeral, but was in the right place. A year after our meeting, we were married at a country church where he was the assistant pastor. This time we both arrived at the same church, right on time. In my time of sorrow, God gave me laughter. In place of loneliness, God gave me love. This past June, we celebrated our twenty-second wedding anniversary. Whenever anyone asks us how we met, Rick tells them, ‘Her mother and my Aunt Mary introduced us, and it’s truly a match made in heaven.’

ADULT TRAILER PARK - MOBILE HOME FOR RENT $475 per month plus deposit, behind Iggy and Squiggy’s Trailerhood Grill and Bar, Holbrook Junction. No pets allowed (775)266-3340 or (775)790-1064 CASE BACKHOE BUCKET 3’ $350 (530)330-6331 ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $499, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” American History Erased

Diego’s Umbrella Coming to Minden

The Carson Valley Arts Council will present Diego’s Umbrella in concert at CVIC Hall, on Friday, February 9th, 2018. Join us for a night of Gypsy rock with the strings of flamenco and the energy of punk rock. Tickets are $22 in advance; $26 at the door; kids under 18 are free. For information or to purchase tickets visit www.cvartscouncil.com or call (775)782-8207 BOOKKEEPING, PAYROLL, INCOME TAX PREPARATION, we do it all! 22+ years experience; Professional, reliable quality work personalized for your small business or personal situation. Pro-Balanced Bookkeeping (775)246-3363 PUPPY LOVE, PERSONALIZED GROOMING BY Auntie Dollie, 40 years experience, Monday through Saturday by appointment, TRE (775)266-3574 THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848 WANTED! STEREO PHONOGRAPH WITH AUTOMATIC record changer (775)267-2322

“History is not history, unless it is the truth.” -Abraham Lincoln Immediately after creating the Declaration of Independence, the Continental Congress voted to purchase and import 20,000 copies of Scripture for the people of this nation. Patrick Henry, who is called the firebrand of the American Revolution, is still remembered for his words, “Give me liberty or give me death” - but in current textbooks, the context of these words is omitted. Here is what he actually said: “An appeal to arms and the God of hosts is all that is left us. But we shall not fight our battle alone. There is a just God that presides over the destinies of nations. The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone. Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it Almighty God. I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death.” These sentences have been erased from our textbooks. Was Patrick Henry a Christian? The following year, 1776, he wrote this: “It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great Nation was founded not by religionists, but by Christians; not on religions, but on the Gospel of Jesus Christ. For that reason alone, people of other faiths have been afforded freedom of worship here.” Consider these words that Thomas Jefferson wrote in the front of his well-worn Bible: “I am a real Christian, that is to say, a disciple of the doctrines of Jesus. I have little doubt that our whole country will soon be rallied to the unity of our creator.” He was also the chairman of the American Bible Society, which he considered his highest and most important role. On July 4, 1821, President Adams said, “The highest glory of the American Revolution was this: “It connected in one indissoluble bond the principles of civil government with the principles of Christianity.” Calvin Coolidge, our 30th President of the United States reaffirmed this truth when he wrote, “The foundations of our society and our government rest so much on the teachings of the Bible that it would be difficult to support them if faith in these teachings would cease to be practically universal in our country.” In 1782, the United States Congress voted this resolution: “The Congress of the United States recommends and approves the Holy Bible for use in all schools.” William Holmes McGuffey is the author of the McGuffey Reader, which was used for over 100 years in our public schools, with over 125 million copies sold, until it was stopped in 1963. President Lincoln called him the “Schoolmaster of the Nation.” Listen to these words of Mr. McGuffey: “The Christian religion is the religion of our country. From it are derived our nation, on the character of God, on the great moral Governor of the universe. On its doctrines are founded the peculiarities of our free Institutions. From no source has the author drawn more conspicuously than from the sacred Scriptures. For all these extracts

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from the Bible, I make no apology.” Of the first 108 universities founded in America, 106 were distinctly Christian, including the first, Harvard University, chartered in 1636. In the original Harvard Student Handbook, rule number 1 was that students seeking entrance must know Latin and Greek so that they could study the Scriptures: “Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider well, the main end of his life and studies, is, to know God and Jesus Christ, which is eternal life, John 17:3; and therefore, to lay Jesus Christ as the only foundation for our children to follow the moral prin-

ciples of the Ten Commandments.” James Madison, the primary author of the Constitution of the United States, said this: “We have staked the whole future of all our political constitutions upon the capacity of each of ourselves to govern ourselves according to the moral principles of the Ten Commandments.” Most of what you read in this article has been erased from our textbooks. Revisionists have rewritten history to remove the truth about our country’s Christian roots. You are encouraged to share this with others, so that the truth of our nation’s history will be told. (inspire21.com)

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” New Dentures

This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made. The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes. When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way. The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife’s dentures... and I couldn’t stop talking! ROOMMATE WANTED MALE OR FEMALE 50+, Private furnished bedroom and private bath, Cable ready, Home on golf course. My home is clean with no clutter, I request the same from renter. Excellent references a must. Month to month rent at the beginning, Available February 1st, $700 per month (includes utilities) (775)217-2706 ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)265-4766

February 13th- Mardi Gras

PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081 BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND recolored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (775)233- 5297

Come Join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church

Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 5pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590 GENEALOGY - THOROUGH RESEARCH OF FAMILY histories. A unique gift for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or yourself! www.PersonalPedigree. com or Lisa (775)450-3175 SCI GRADING EXCAVATING ROAD WORK, house pads, drainage and erosion control, septic systems and pumping, wet and dry utilities, demolition, water and dump truck service, Erik Viksna NV#076958, CA#954210, (530)306-2647 or (775)629-9000

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Trips to the Store

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to the local box store. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men - he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women -- she loved to browse. One-day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local box store. Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of men contraceptives and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, “Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away.” 4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway. 5. September 14: Moved a “CAUTION - WET FLOOR” sign to a carpeted area. 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the

bedding department. 7. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?” 8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 9. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme. 11. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his “Madonna look” by using different sizes of funnels. 12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled “PICK ME! PICK ME!” 13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and moaned, “OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!” And last, but not least.......... 14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, “Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!” Best Regards, Your local box store VOICE AND PIANO LESSONS, BEGINNER to Advanced students, experienced teacher, performer, music degree. Call The Songlady! Carolyn Lancaster (775)720-1918 or (775)267-2582 HEARTWAY P3DXC MODEL POWER WHEEL chair, $1,700 OBO, for more details call (775)297-3325

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Mason Valley Beekeepers Present...

8th annual Nevada State Beekeepers Conference, February 23-25, 2018, Yerington, Nevada. Includes Hands-on workshops and top bee-researchers. For more information and to register: www.nevadastatebeekeepers.org “A Day with Dr. Larry Connor”, January 15, 2018, Yerington, Nevada. Topic: How to Keep Bees Alive, Lunch and snacks provided. For more information and to register: www.masonvalleybeekeepers.org “Introduction to Bees and Beekeeping”, January 20, 2018, Yerington, Nevada. Basics to start beekeeping and the first year maintenance. Lunch, snacks and book included in registration. For more information and to register: www. masonvalleybeekeepers.org More questions? Contact Debbie Gilmore at debbie@ masonvalleybeekeepers.org or (775)463-2757 PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, faux and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, powerspainting.org or (775)781-5531 or (775)315-5179 LUXURY APARTMENT, 2 BEDROOMS, 2 FULL Baths, personal laundry room, furnished or unfurnished, electric/water/internet, trash and DirecTV included, nonsmoker, no pets, $1,000 plus propane, Smith Valley Tony (530)318-6345, Judy (818)398-3411

Child Custody

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification. After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied... “Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?” RENNER’S TRUE VALUE HARDWARE - FOR ALL YOUR hardware, household, automotive and gardening needs and much more now available online at truevalue. com, ship orders to store for free, call Robert or Megan for details (775)465-2217, press 1 for parts, 2289 Hwy. 208, Smith, NV HANDYMAN FOR ALL YOUR OUTSIDE NEEDS, yard cleanup, power wash, fence repair, minor jobs, free estimates, NV#11376PC (775)246-9899

HELP WANTED! Visit sierrascoop.com/jobs

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Census

Census Taker: ‘How many children do you have?’ Woman: ‘Four.’ Census Taker: ‘May I have their names, please?’ Woman: ‘Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George.’ Census Taker: ‘Okay, that’s fine. But may I ask why you named your fourth child George?’ Woman: ‘Because we didn’t want any Moe.’ NICON TRANSIT TRI POD GRADE ROD $250 (530)330-6331

GREG’S SMALL ENGINE SERVICE AND REPAIR! Lawn Mowers, Snow Blowers, Portable Generators; On Site Pick-Up and Delivery, Serving Carson City, Carson Valley, Dayton - gregtenbroeck@yahoo.com or visit us at gregsmallengine.com (775)790-0435 or (530)307-1132 LICENSED AND BONDED ELECTRICIAN, ADDITIONS, remodels, extra outlets, switches, light fixtures, ceiling fans, trouble shooting and power panel upgrades, etc., 18 years experience, Free Estimates, Senior Discount, Degenspark Electric NV#52647 (775)267-4229

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Can I Help You?

Codependents Anonymous

CoDA “Developing Healthy Relationships” Carson City, Sparks and Kings Beach, Visit www.coda.org or call for details, Al at (775)882-0884 or Bob C. (775)720-1040 ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174 “A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter@sbcglobal.net or (775)530-8932 or (775)884-3906

As I turned to go down the aisle in the grocery store I spotted him... an elderly man appearing to be lost. As I walked closer I could see a sad look in his eyes. I felt an urge to say something to him. “What should I say?” I wondered to myself. “Can I help you find something?” I heard myself saying. “Thank you, I really need some help,” he answered. “Tell me what you are looking for and I’ll try to help you find it,” I said. “Why did you stop and talk to me? You don’t work here, do you?” he asked. “Well, I could see by the look on your face that you seemed to need help,” I answered. With that, he introduced himself. “Hi, I’m Albert. This is the first time since my wife died that I’ve been to the grocery store. My wife always did the shopping and I’m really lost in this big store. Thank you for helping me.” I leaned over and gave Albert a hug. I told him that only a few weeks earlier my son, Todd, had died in a car accident. We shared a faint smile knowing that we both had been through a tough time. As I pondered what had happened I realized that going though this grieving time had brought something out in me that wasn’t there before. My eyes seemed to be opened and I noticed other hurting people. I’m sure the year before I would have been like the other people in the store, who walked by and didn’t see the hurt in this man’s eyes. In 2 Corinthians 1:4 it reads: “He helps us in all our troubles, so that we are able to help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God.” God had helped me though this terrible tragedy of my son Todd’s death, and now He was enabling me to see the hurt in others and reach out to help them. PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441 BABYLOCK CROWN JEWEL 1 COMPUTERIZED Longarm Quilt Machine, 10’ Pearl frame, like new tablet and Pro-Stitcher program, great condition, extra notions, $8,500 OBO, Stacy/Coleville (530)314-0910 EXPERIENCED HOT TUB REPAIR AND MAINTENANCE, monthly/bi-monthly, new custom covers available! Serving Carson Valley area, Carson Spa Care (775)230-5328 C.F.I. CERTIFIED CARPET, HARDWOOD, VINYL, no charge for furniture. Three-year labor warranty! Residential and Commercial, Competitive pricing, JS Flooring (775)267-4123 STUDDED SNOW TIRES (4) 195/70R14 ARCTIC Claw, excellent condition, used one season while at UNR $250 (775)265-5191

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Sweet Cheeks

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told her husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So, the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.” “My darling,” he replied, “I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.” CUSTOM MASONRY, ONE BRICK AT A TIME, Commercial/Residential, 3+ Better Business Bureau rating, serving Carson Valley 12+ years, Free Estimates, M Sqrd Masonry, NV#200616647 and CA#924187, Marc Duryee (775)450-6219 or (775)783-4753

The Wailing Wall

A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So, the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man. She asks, “You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that and what are you praying for?” The old man replies, “I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In the morning I pray for world peace and then for the brotherhood of man. I go home have a cup of tea and I come back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from the earth.” The journalist is amazed. “How does it make you feel to come here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?” she asks. The old man looks at her sadly. “Like I’m talking to a wall.” SEWING MACHINE, KENMORE FLOOR MODEL $47.50; Book cases $5; Portable massage table $47.50; electric roaster $25; please call before 7pm (775)2663435 BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi-story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629

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JR POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE AND REPAIR, ALL makes, models and years; Quads, OHV, Dirt and Street Bikes; from tune up to full rebuild. 35 years experience! Dayton, jrpowersports.com or (775)241-2530 MKD CONSTRUCTION, GENERAL ENGINEERING, concrete structures, concrete flat work, grading, roadway improvements, drainage, storm drains, underground utilities (water and sewer), paving, fencing, barrier rail, environmental improvements, commercial and residential snow removal, excellent reputation and references available, NV#50061 and CA#818376, Mike (775)246-1900 or (775)315-2416

WNC Community Education

Classes begin soon: Introduction to Western Silversmithing; Quickbooks I, II, and III, R.I.P.P.E.D. great exercise class; Refresh Mathematics; Access Careers Career Development & Job Seeking Strategies; Conversational Spanish; Clay Club Ceramics; and Imagine Understanding Your Medicare Insurance Options. To view the dates, times, class descriptions/fees, and or to register for these classes go to www.campusce.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4423 KNEE SCOOTER, USED 3 MONTHS, INDOOR only, like new $125 (775)782-5457

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Getting Married

Bob, aged 82, and Mary, aged 79, were excited about their decision to get married. While out for a stroll to discuss the wedding, they passed a drug store. Bob suggested they go in. Bob asked to speak to the pharmacist. He explained they’re about to get married, and asked, “Do you sell heart medication?” “Of course we do,” the pharmacist replied. “Medicine for rheumatism?” “Definitely,” he said. “How about Viagra?” “Of course.” “Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?” “Yes, the works.” “What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antacids?” “Absolutely.” “Do you sell wheelchairs and walkers?” “All speeds and sizes.” “Good,” Bob said to the pharmacist. “We’d like to register for our wedding gifts here, please.” IRS PROBLEMS? FEDERAL AND ALL STATES, Past years returns and audit representation, “Service you can trust, quality you can afford.”, Call James A. Farnham, enrolled agent, 20 years experience, Reasonable Rates, Income Tax Services (775)392-0321

Tea Time

A little girl is serving her father tea while her mother is out shopping. The mother comes home and the father says, “Watch this!” The little girl goes and serves the mother tea. The mother responds, “Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?” PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373 FIREARMS WANTED! ESTATE COLLECTIONS or single items: Winchester, Colts, Smith and Wesson, Luger’s and others. Appraisals upon request, Licensed Gary (775)267-2045 or (775)671-0563 HANDYMAN SERVICE – HOME REPAIRS, FENCING Repair/Replacement, Hauling, Trash Removal, Shrub and Tree Trimming and Removal, and Weed Removal, Free Estimates (775)781-1747 MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 35 years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919

Fred is Gone

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A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor and asked the woman who answered the door, “Is Fred home?” “Sorry, Fred’s gone for cotton.” The next day the bill collector tried again. “Is Fred here today?” “No, sir. I’m afraid he has gone for cotton.” When he returned the third day he grunted, “I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again?” “No, Fred died yesterday.” Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and check the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred’s tombstone, with the inscription, “Gone, But Not for Cotton.” NEEDED, A PERSON OR COUPLE WITH “share cropping/farming” experience, for more details call or message Chuck at (775)745-0612 PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065 REDLINE CONSTRUCTION, INC., SPECIALIZING in garages, additions, remodels, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, (775)781-3955

Sertoma’s Crab and Tri-Tip Dinner...

is February 10th, 2018 at Douglas County Community and Senior Center, 1329 Waterloo Lane, Gardnerville. The all-you-can-eat feast, sponsored by Carson Valley Sertoma in partnership with Douglas County Senior Center, will start at 4pm and is $45 per person. Beer and wine will be available. Part of the profits go to the Senior Center’s Soup Program in Gardnerville. Seating is limited and last year the event was sold out prior to the event. Call (775)782-0758 to get your tickets now. FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)7828776 MAINTENANCE FREE DECKS AND PATIO COVERS, knowledgeable, honest, professional service! Serving Northern Nevada for 18+ years! Free Quotes! K & C Construction, NV#0079034 (775)691-6462 140 LINCOLN WIRE FEED 110 VOLT $250 (530)3306331 HARRY’S HAULING; PIANOS, SPAS, SAFES OR anything else, serving the Carson Valley communities (775)291-6648

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Manzanar

Money Owed

A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?” “Do you have any proof he owes you the money?” asked the lawyer. “Nope,” replied the man. “OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owes you,” said the lawyer. “But it’s only $500,” replied the man. “Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!” TNT UPHOLSTERY; ANTIQUE FURNITURE, Leather work, Auto and Boats, Special on Headliners, 1482 Southgate Dr. #106, Gardnerville (775)267-5433 CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Joanne, please leave clear message (775)465-9422 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MIKAELA ON FEBRUARY 13th and Marlies on February 23rd and Happy Birthday to Grandma Jeannine on February 9th!

Located at the foot of the Sierra Nevada in California’s Owens Valley between the towns of Lone Pine to the south and Independence to the north Manzanar is most widely known as the site of one of ten American concentration camps where over 110,000 Japanese Americans were incarcerated during World War II from December 1942 to 1945. After the December 7, 1941, attack on Pearl Harbor, the United States Government swiftly moved to begin solving the “Japanese Problem” on the West Coast of the United States. In the evening hours of that same day, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) arrested selected “enemy” aliens, including more than 5,500 Issei men. The California government pressed for action by the national government, as many citizens were alarmed about potential activities by people of Japanese descent. On February 19, 1942, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066, which authorized the Secretary of War to designate military commanders to prescribe military areas and to exclude “any or all persons” from such areas. The order also authorized the construction of what would later be called “relocation centers” by the War Relocation Authority (WRA) to house those who were to be excluded.[49] This order resulted in the forced relocation of over 120,000 Japanese Americans, two-thirds of whom were native-born American citizens. The rest had been prevented from becoming citizens by federal law. Over 110,000 were incarcerated in the ten concentration camps located far inland and away from the coast. Manzanar was the first of the ten concentration camps to be established. Initially, it was a temporary “reception center”, known as the Owens Valley Reception Center from March 21, 1942, to May 31, 1942. At that time, it was operated by the US Army’s Wartime Civilian Control Administration (WCCA). The Owens Valley Reception Center was transferred to the WRA on June 1, 1942, and officially became the “Manzanar War Relocation Center.” The first Japanese American incarcerees to arrive at Manzanar were volunteers who helped build the camp. By mid–April, up to 1,000 Japanese Americans were arriving daily, and by July, the population of the camp neared 10,000. Over 90 percent of the incarcerees were from the Los Angeles area, with the rest coming from Stockton, California; and Bainbridge Island, Washington. Many were farmers and fishermen. Manzanar held 10,046 incarcerees at its peak, and a total of 11,070 people were incarcerated there. HOT TUB SERVICE AND REPAIR, WEEKLY and bi weekly service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)267-2490 The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers.

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Old Flame...

A couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. She recognized him as an old flame. “Honey,” she said to her husband, as she pointed out the man, “that guy at the bar has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago.” Her husband said, “That’s silly, no one celebrates that much!” WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192

CRAFTSMAN CONSTRUCTION LLC, Specializing in Painting, Remodels, Tile, Finish Carpentry, Decks, Home Repairs, Window and Door Replacement, Quality Workmanship with over 28 years experience, free estimates, NV Lic.60315, NVPainting Lic.82727, craftsmanconstruction.com or (775)690-1749 ELECTROLYSIS AND LASER FOR HAIR REMOVAL; Complimentary, confidential consultation. 33 years experience. Weekday, evening, Saturday appointments available, Sally Battista (775)782-6190

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” To Do Lists

Berean Bible Church Christ Alone!

Sunday Worship Service 9:30am; Children’s Sunday School provided. Women’s Bible Study – 2nd and 4th Friday 8am; Men Bible Study – Fridays 8am; CoEd Bible Study – Tuesdays 6pm. Call for details (775)782-3931 1516 Hwy. 395, Gardnerville (in the HAAS Center) CONCEALED WEAPONS CLASSES NEVADA and Utah $50 each, email tacaimnv@gmail.com or (775)3605214 HOT SPOT SX HOT TUB FOR SALE - LIKE NEW, selling for $2,500 OBO, you are responsible for pickup, serious inquiries only (775)267-2152 GOLFER’S! HOW’S YOUR GAME? WE build or repair your clubs! We can also help you with your swing! Call Tom (775)265-3257 MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627

February 14th- Ash Wednesday 26

You know the days where you have a To Do List as long as your arm? A pile of laundry that could warrant its own zip code? A kitchen that looks like a tornado went through it? Yeah, today was one of those days. She came up to me so sweetly and said, “Mommy, how ‘bout you paint my nails, and then I paint yours?!” “How about Mom just paints yours sweetie?” Her face fell. “OK, because you don’t have time for me to paint yours too?” Yes, that was one reason for my answer. What if she painted them and the baby woke up? I wouldn’t be able to grab him with wet nails. What if my laundry buzzed and I had to switch loads? Can’t do that with wet nails. What about my hair that needed to be blow dried? Can’t do that with wet nails. The bills I was trying to pay, the calendar I was trying to update, the dishes I needed to wash. You can’t do any of those things with wet nails. Right? But her little face was so disappointed when I told her I didn’t have time for her to paint my nails. So, I changed my mind, and told her she could paint them. And that little face of hers lit up, and she got right to work painting them. And do you know what happened? The baby didn’t wake up from his nap. The laundry sat in the dryer. My hair dried on its own. The bills, the calendar, and the dishes----it was all waiting for me when she was done. It took 10 minutes out of my day. But it was the highlight of hers. We can be so quick to say, “no” to our children with things that we feel aren’t important enough to warrant the extra time. But so often these things that aren’t important enough to us, are a big deal in the eyes of a child. And if we show them now that we value their time, as much as we value our To Do Lists, they just might keep coming back to us, for all the important things. HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 21 years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453 MASTER HOROLOGIST, CLOCK REPAIR, MUSEUM Quality Furniture, Chair Caning and Antique Everything Restoration, Grandfather Clock House Calls! A-1 Restorations since 1967, Larry (775)781-1616 MADAME ALEXANDER FIRST LADY DOLL COLLECTION, Series II, 6 dolls still in boxes $150; Stamp Collection, 1,000’s of stamps, old ones too $175, Dayton (712)249-3015 PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Opioid Overdose

Running Red Lights...

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it; I could have sworn we just went through a red light.” After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right through. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red, and they went right through and she turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!” Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, am I driving?” TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, clipper blades, clipper repair, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079 AVALON WOOD STOVE BY OLYMPIC, HEATS 2,500 square feet, takes 24” log, EPA approved, excellent condition $750, Walt (775)463-5951

Despite the alarming increase in US opioid overdoses, most of us would be hard pressed to describe exactly what happens in the body during one. Here’s a step-by-step explainer. While there’s no one circumstance that will push a body over the edge from a high to an overdose, there are certain things that appear to put a person at greater risk: Having been in detox and then returning to the drugs, mixing opioids with other sedatives (like alcohol or benzos), and in some cases, using them in high doses (thanks to the existence of super-powerful opioids like fentanyl and carfentanil, this can happen unbeknownst to the user). A person on the verge of an overdose rarely realizes what is happening to them, but there are easily recognizable signs that other people might spot, including extreme drowsiness, cold hands, cloudy thinking, nausea and/or vomiting, and especially slowed breathing (fewer than ten breaths per minute). First, the drug spreads throughout your body. When you take an opioid, whether a pill or an injectable, the drug enters the body and travels through your synapses, through the heart and into your lungs, where the blood gets flushed with oxygen before getting drawn back into the heart once again. With the next pump of your heart, your now opioid-rich blood is pushed out to the rest of the body, where it plugs into the system of opioid receptors all over your body. When it hits the brain, you get happy. Once the opioid molecules are ferried across the blood-brain barrier, they enter a section of the brain at the center of your reward circuitry called the nucleus accumbens, where the happiness hormone dopamine is produced. There, the drug latches onto GABAergic neurons. Imagine GABA as a dam: They make sure our dopamine doesn’t overflow, which can cause agitation and paranoia. Opioid molecules blow that dam open, and let dopamine spill over into the bloodstream, creating a feeling of bliss, way beyond what our GABA cells would normally allow us to experience. Soon the high evens out, and even before the rush is over, you might start to nod off, head dipping and jerking as you drift between waking and sleeping. Your breath starts to slow. The opioid works on the systems that control both sleep and breathing: At the base of your brain lies a respiratory control center that drives your breathing, reacting to the level of carbon dioxide and oxygen in your blood to spur you to breathe. During an overdose, the slowed breathing that occurs with opioid ingestion of any kind becomes dangerously slow, leading to a complete stop. Then your heart. Your heart rate slows as the opioid suppresses neurological signals. The oxygen level falls low enough that the heart starts having abnormal rhythms; the heart is not beating properly. At this point some overdose patients have sudden cardiac arrest. Things begin to shut down. Because there is an over-

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whelming amount of opioid in your brain, your body stops receiving the correct signals at all to breathe. Your lungs and heart are barely working. With lungs and heart barely working, your brain begins to be damaged by lack of oxygen. The brain is highly sensitive to lack of oxygen; permanent brain damage sets in after four minutes of oxygen deprivation in most situations. Variables such as the temperature of the body can affect the damage to the brain—the colder the body, the more reduced the brain damage. If you’re receiving CPR during this period, brain damage can be prevented or reduced. You foam at the mouth, or choke. Sometimes opioid overdose can include pulmonary edema (fluid leak into the airspaces of the lung). This is a noncardiogenic pulmonary edema, meaning it is not caused by fluid backup from a failing heart; doctors are still unsure of the exact mechanism behind this event. This manifests as foam coming out of your mouth. It is not uncommon for opioid overdose patients to experience aspiration. This is when your body’s natural gag response is suppressed or eliminated by the opioid’s effects on the respiratory control center of the brain. As you become increasingly less conscious, the natural secretions in the back of the throat are not ejected or swallowed. Opioid patients who vomit can also aspirate their vomit and die. Your brain gets permanently damaged. Opioid overdose can cause seizures from lack of oxygen to the brain. These

seizures can further damage the brain. Brain damage–from mild to severe–is not often discussed with opioid overdose but is a real possibility. Overdose patients can end up paralyzed and unable to speak. FYI - From 1999 to 2015, more than 183,000 people have died in the U.S. from overdoses related to prescription opioids. Overdosing is now the leading cause of accidental death in the United States, accounting for more deaths than traffic fatalities or gun homicides and suicides. WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL PACIFIC Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)882-3999 PIANO AND ORGAN PRIVATE INSTRUCTIONS, Member of Sierra Organ Club, Call Joanne Booth in Sunridge, Carson City (775)267-2429 CARIBOU 1994 TRUCK CAMPER LONG BED, all appliances work well, inside clean and good condition, outside fair, sleeps 4-5, $2,500 OBO, Yerington (775)3156540 HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/ INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)691-5119

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Job Interview

A lady goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. “So, miss, can you tell us your age, please?” The lady counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying “Ehhhh .. 22!”. The interviewer looks at her a little puzzled and then tries another straightforward one to break the ice. “And can you tell us your height, please?”. The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, “Five foot two!” This isn’t looking good, so the interviewer goes for the real basics. “And ehh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?” The lady bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying “Mandy!”. The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, “Just out of curiosity, miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?” “Ohh that!”, she replies, “That’s just me running through, ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....’ .”

Chronic Pain/Chronic Illness Anonymous Meetings...

Saturdays in Carson City at noon. For more information and details call Roberta at (775)885-7096 1988 SUZUKI SAMURAI, STOPS, STARTS, LOOKS great, runs well, always garaged, have all maintenance records $4,900 (775)465-2359 INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX preparation, Federal and all States, prior years, audit representation, 30 years experience, reasonable rates (775)392-0418 HANDY HAMILTONS WINTER DISCOUNT, November - April. Experienced Handyman, Quality work at a fair price, Free estimates, Call Mark Hamilton (775)7209595 HYDRAULIC AND PNEUMATIC AIR CYLINDERS repair and rebuild, log splitters, tractors, farm equipment, dump trucks and trailers, etc. all makes and models. Machining, welding, fabrication, design, reasonable rates! 18 years experience, Ramco Fabrication, Shawn (775)267-7358

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” RESIDENTIAL CLEANING, LICENSED, BONDED and insured with references, Free estimates, great cleaning, fair prices, Samantha (775)220-4252 $69 SERVICE CALL, ACADEMY APPLIANCE Service; washers, dryers, refrigerators, ranges, dishwashers, compactors, some areas extra charge, Serving Carson Valley (775)781-4725

A Wreck

A lady had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. “My Goodness!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma’am?” “Why, yes, officer, I’m just fine” the lady chirped. “Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. “Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the lady began. “I was driving along this road when I started to doze off. When I woke up this tree from out of nowhere pops up in front of me. So, I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was another tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was....” “Uh, ma’am, ‘the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth on your rearview mirror.” FIREPLACE – DUAL FUEL, NG OR LP, VENT free, beautiful Cherry finish with mantle, 46” wide by 14.75” deep, used only one season $800 OBO (775)463-4911 ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)721-2880 5’ PEDESTAL ROUND OAK TABLE WITH LAZY Susan, no chairs $250; 4’ Bombay Chest with matching mirror, very ornate, excellent condition $350, Yerington (775)463-5963 COMPLETE BOWFLEX ULTIMATE 2 WITH ACCESSORIES and manual, excellent condition $500; Oak dining room table, three leaves, four chairs $50 (775)781-0290 GOT WOOD? SAMMY’S FIREWOOD, HONEST Quality Service, soft and hard wood, delivery available, located in Carson City, (775)315-0834

February 14th- Happy Valentine’s Day! 32

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Why Do People Speed?

I often ask myself this question while I am driving from Minden to Carson City or on any highway for that matter. As do many, I drive the speed limit, but vehicles are always passing me and some of the drivers even flip me the bird because I am driving the speed limit. When someone goes flying by me, I always think, “Oh, there goes someone who is in a hurry to their own funeral.” However, in researching this subject I found a few other reasons people speed. Speaking in general, the reason why people speed is because they are impatient and in a hurry. More often than not, people speed because they lack the ability to be more patient. In addition, they do not have the patience to wait. This is extremely true in the case of drivers. However, drivers who think that they have better driving skills compared to the majority of people feel that they can break laws without getting caught. In such cases, they can put the lives of other drivers and people in jeopardy. History is full of drivers who have caused accidents and taken lives, and put the lives of other people at risk. This results in property damage and has cost them a considerable amount of money. But for some drivers, they want to speed up simply for the reason that they want to feel in authority on the road. They feel satisfied and happy when they think they are the fastest driver around. Thus, they want to speed up to satisfy that desire. Speeders beware PLEASE! Don’t jeopardize the lives

of others because you are impatient or because you think you’re Mario Andretti or Danica Patrick. There are families with children on our highways and, while YOU may be in a hurry to your own funeral, no one else wants to go with you. HDS INSURANCE REPRESENTING NUMEROUS top companies, we do the shopping for you, right priced, right coverage, all lines of insurance (775)267-9947 SOLID OAK DESK, 6’X2’5” WITH TALL hutch, $400; Cherry wood China cabinet with hutch, glass doors, and recessed lighting $400 775-246-3323

The Perfect Gift

Joe asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine’s Day. “Yes”, came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, “I’ve bought her a belt and a bag.” “That was very kind of you”, Joe added, “I hope she appreciated the thought.” Tony smiled as he replied, “So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.” GUNS GUNS GUNS - FRIENDS OF NRA fundraiser Saturday March 17, 2018 doors open 4:30pm. Tickets $45. For tickets and information call Jim (775)463-2580

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Caregivers Needed

Join our team of Caregivers and make a difference in the lives of seniors. Provide companionship and bring assisted living into their home. Full-time, part-time, days, nights, 12 hour, and 24 hour shifts available. Retired and mature adults encourage to apply. EOE Apply online eden-homecare.com (775)392-2000 $200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461 PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free.

CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: All types including Silver, Copper, Rhinestones, Old Plastics, Glass, Pot Metal, Pins, Bracelets, Rings, Necklaces, Old Watches, Lockets, larger quantities preferred, please leave clear message on home phone, I call everyone back, Joanne (775)465-9422 COMPUTER PROBLEMS? ON SITE REPAIR and training, PC/network configuration, virus/spyware removal, serving Dayton and Carson, justin.nelson@ goowy.com Justin (775)450-3735

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Walk Away from All the Drama!

There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy! THREE PIECE FROSTED GREEN SECTIONAL sofa, good condition $100 (775)782-5457 GET FAST INTERNET! UP TO 40 MBPS, WIRELESS! (not satellite, not DSL), Great in rural areas, www.rural-internet.us or call Patrick (775)297-4777 LIVING WATER IS THE CLEANING SERVICE you can depend on, Residential and Commercial, etc., NV License #06-22437 Angelina (775)229-3178 TREE TRIMMINGS, DRY, GOOD FOR KINDLING for your fireplace or woodstove, about enough to fill a pickup bed, free, come and get them 775-220-6525 HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)267-1958

Happy February Birthdays!

May this birthday be filled with lots of happy hours and also your life with many happy birthdays, that are yet to come… Have a wonderful birthday! WANTED: KNIVES – FOLDING, HUNTING; MILITARY, New or used, any quantity. Wanted: Tobacco Pipes – Used or new, any quantity Jeff (775)720-2577 LINCOLN PIPELINE GAS WELDER, 250AMP ON trailer $1,000 (530)330-6331 Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, (775)782-4520 VARIOUS SIZE WOOD DRAWERS (10), FREE for the taking, new condition, for more details call 775-782-2342 FIREWOOD, SEASONED, SPLIT, ALMOND ONLY $420 a cord, cut to size, under 16”, 16”-18”, 18”-22”, delivery available, Jon (775)246-7186

HIGH ROLLERS PAINTING FOR ALL YOUR PAINTING needs! Competitive rates and quality workmanship, bonded and insured, NV#44048, highrollerspainting.net or (775)267-2534 FOR SALE! GIRL’S BEDROOM SET, FOR DETAILS call (775)782-6127 HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30 years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick –up and delivery; parts in one day! californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521 USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539 SMITH VALLEY IRRIGATION – SERVING NEVADA and Sierra Communities for 40 Years with Ag Irrigation Systems and Parts (775)465-2316 RUSTIC COUNTRY FURNITURE COMPANY makes unique custom rustic furniture from barn wood, Email or call Chris christophercodeglia123@hotmail.com (775)782-1130 or (775)552-5424

February 19th - Presidents Day

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”