Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE - Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 17+ Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570
LAWN MAINTENANCE, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, HOA, Weekly Lawn Care, Fertilizing, Equal Payment Plans, Package Programs, Licensed And Bonded, 25 Years Serving Carson Valley, Total Lawn & Landscape (775)782-3505
FREE KING SIZE WOOD HEADBOARD WITH hardware, you haul (775)888-9872
WICKWARE LTD, STEEL CONSTRUCTION, gates, metal building erection, welding and repair of off highway equipment, furnish and install of structural and ornamental steel, anything steel, anywhere in Nevada. Contractor’s License #87042, Insured and bonded. We are local to Northern NV since 1992, 100% Nevada owned, Clean background, Free estimates, Christopher - Ironchris1974@gmail.com or (775)450-6921
YARD SALE, FRIDAY AND SATURDAY, AUGUST 6TH & 7th, 7am - 3pm; Hot walker, Miniature horse carts, tack, fencing, tools and more, 4216 Kyle Drive, Wellington HYDRAULIC CYLINDER REPAIR AND REBUILD, All makes models and year, Commercial Equipment, Tractors, Fork Lifts, Log splitters, Farm equipment, Dump Trucks and Trailers, Boats and RVs, Welding and Machining, Ramco Fabrication, shawn@ramcofab.com or (775)267-7358 MEDIUM BURTON WHEELIE TRAVEL BAG $50; large Burton wheelie travel bag $75; Diamondback mountain bike $25; Trek mountain bike $50; Kirby Vacuum $20 (775)3095404 A PAIR OF PREMIUM FLOORSTANDING KLIPSCH KG 4.2 speakers. Each cabinet has Dual 10” woofers, 10”x6” tweeters. Furniture grade solid white oak cabinets in a clear finish. Dimensions 31½”Hx13½”Wx11½”D, excellent condition $390 (775)265-6559
2004 HONDA CRV, AUTOMATIC 4 WHEEL DRIVE, 156,000 miles, runs excellent $4,500 (775)901-0717
Things I’m super good at!
1. Forgetting someone’s name 30 seconds after they tell me. 2. Running. Late, that is. 3. Making plans...then regretting making plans. 4. Thinking of a great comeback - an hour later. 5. Digging through the trash for the food box I just tossed, because I already forgot the directions. 6. Adding items to online carts. Then deleting. 7. Googling my ailments. Then panicking. 8. Leaving laundry to wrinkle in the dryer. 9. Forgetting why I walked into the room. 10. Calculating how much sleep I’ll get if I can just “fall asleep right now”.
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” And God Said No!
I asked God to take away my pride. And God said “No”. He said it was not for him to take away, but for me to give up. I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said “No”. He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary. I asked God to grant me patience. And God said “No”. He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn’t granted, it is earned. I asked God to give me happiness. And God said “No”. He said he gives me blessings, happiness is up to me. I asked God to spare me pain. And God said “No”. He said suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said “No”. He said I must grow on my own. But he will prune me to make me fruitful. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said “No”. He said I will give you life, that you may enjoy all things. I ask God to help me love others, as much as he loves me. And God said, Ah, finally you have the idea! 3 WHEEL BATTERY OPERATED 36V 350W ELECTRIC transport mobility scooter trike, with charger. Will carry a max weight of 220 lbs. Has a 20-25 mile range before charging. Recharge time about 4-8 hours. Asking $450,00 (775)392-0995 EXPERIENCED CLASS A CDL DRIVERS NEEDED immediately to drive mixer trucks in Yerington, NV. Full time position. Call (775)463-0199 MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 40+ years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919. HOT TUB SERVICE, WEEKLY AND BI WEEKLY service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, hot tub cover sales, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)267-2490
You had twins!
A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, “Ma’am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them.” The woman thinks to herself, “Oh no, not my brother -- he’s an idiot!” Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, “Well, what’s the girl’s name?” “Denise,” the doctor says. The new mother thinks, “Wow, that’s not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!” Then she asks the doctor, “What’s the boy’s name?” The doctor replies, DeNephew. BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, snow removal, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629
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HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)267-1958
Photo requests
People don’t like to look dumpy in their own photos, which is why a local professional photographer gets a lot of requests asking him to retouch photos. You know, erase the crow’s-feet, lop off the ‘love handles’ -- that sort of thing. Therefore, he wasn’t surprised when one woman, pointing to a family portrait, asked him, “Can you take thirty pounds off me?” until she added, “and put it on my sister?” STANDARD FLAG GRAVEL, R&J TRUCKING delivers, 25 years experience, call Roger (775)233-7337 SUTRO LANDSCAPING, ONE CALL DOES IT all; lawn care, aerating and thatching, sprinkler systems, sod installation and planting, clean-ups and much more, Free Estimates, Operated by owner, NV#50048 (775)246-4871 or (775)2913095 MOVING/ESTATE SALE! AUGUST 14TH AND 15TH, 7AM; Jewelry selection, Desert Rose and Liberty Blue Dinnerware, Antiques, 2001 Ford F150 4x4 p/u, lots of miscellaneous stuff, 1420 Walkerview Rd., Wellington
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
Substitute Bus Drivers Wanted
Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for: Substitute School Bus Drivers, Starting Salary: $15.88/hour, Varied Hours up to 40 hours a week, Apply online: dcsd.k12.nv.us/employment to complete an application. RUSSELL’S TREE SERVICE, #1 ARTISTRY IN TREE Care; Shaping, Balancing, Removals, Stump Grinding, Fruit Trees, Hedges, Ornamental Pruning, Serving your area, Licensed/Insured (775)685-0528 AFFORDABLE NEVADA CCW CLASSES $50, tacaimfirearmsinstruction.com or (775)360-5214 COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, davenportlandscape.com or (775)265-1491 or (775)721-8439
An angry spouse
What’s the difference between a dog barking on the front porch and an angry spouse yelling on the back porch? The dog quits barking once back inside WEEKLY LAWN CARE AND AERATION, 16+ years experience, quality service, serving Carson Valley, Carson Valley Lawn Care, Insured (775)230-2546
Old retired widowers
Brad and Mike are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare checks on each other. Much of their relationship is based on pragmatism rather than real friendship or personal affection. One day, as he drinks his morning coffee, Mike opens the morning paper and turns to the obituaries page. He gets the shock of his life when he sees his own obituary in the column. He realizes that the query for info on him by the local newspaper several months earlier, was in preparation for this event. He correctly surmises that it is a mistaken entry from their database. It still excites and rankles him, so he calls Brad up. “Brad, are you up yet?” asks Mike. Brad sleepily answers, “Yeah, but I’m only now starting my coffee.” “Brad, open the newspaper to page 31.” “Why, what’s in the paper?” “Brad, get the paper and open it to page 31 NOW!” “Ok, Ok, I’ve got the paper here, so what’s on page 31?” “Brad, open the paper ... continued ... to page 31 already!” “All right, don’t be such a pain so early in the morning already. So, what’s on page 31 that’s so important?” “Brad, look at the bottom of column 4.” “Why? What’s that story on?” “Brad, read the story on the bottom of the column already!” “OK, OK, I’ll start reading the column if you stop yelling in my ear!” The paper rustles for a few seconds, then a long silent pause ensues... Finally, Brad comes on the line quietly and fearfully asks, “So Mike, where are you calling me from right now?” “Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.”
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Which Fruits and Vegetables continue to ripen after picking?
If you buy fruits or vegetables that are not quite ripe, will they continue to ripen over time at home? Since every fruit is different and “ripe” can be defined in different ways, it’s difficult to give a definite yes or no answer. Every fruit undergoes changes after it’s picked, but that doesn’t mean it’s getting tastier. Some fruits (like bananas) actually ripen and get sweeter after picking. Others (such as pineapple) will change color and soften, but really not get much sweeter. Some foods (like lemons) will sit there and do nothing until they rot. Regardless of the science involved in the ripening process, the most important factor is whether you can buy or pick a fruit or vegetable before it’s ripe and allow it to ripen at home. To that end, here’s a list of common fruits and vegetables that should help you decide. Foods that continue to ripen after picking. Keep in mind that, with the exception of avocados, all fruits have the best flavor when picked ripe or almost ripe. However, the following fruits will continue to ripen and improve somewhat after picking: Cantaloupe will ripen after picking. Apples (best if tree-ripened, but can be picked a week early for longer storage) Apricots, Avocados (ONLY ripen after picking!), Bananas (will ripen a great deal and can be picked green), Cantaloupe, Kiwi, Mangoes, Nectarines, Papaya, Peaches, Pears, Persimmons, Plums, Tomatoes. Foods that should be ripe when picked. These fruits are best picked fully ripe: Blueberries are best picked ripe. Berries (such as strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, raspberries), Cherries, Citrus (such as oranges, lemons, limes, grapefruit), Cucumber, Eggplant, Figs, Grapes, Olives, Peppers, Pineapple, Pomegranate, Summer Squash, Watermelon 30-06 AMMUNITION FEDERAL 150 GRAIN SOFT point 30 rounds (775)267-1239 GET FAST INTERNET! UP TO 40 MBPS, WIRELESS! (not satellite, not DSL). Great in rural areas, www.ruralinternet.us or call Patrick (775)297-4777 G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672
Job Interview
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?” The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.” 2006 ALPINLITE 31’ 5TH WHEEL, 3 SLIDEOUTS, queen size bed, on board generator, 2 large propane tanks, new tires and brakes, new roof, new awning, very clean $20,000, Howard (916)257-1376
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WEATHERBY VANGUARD 300 MAG RIFLE, COMES with a Zeiss 3X9 scope, two boxes of shells, reloading dies, and a recoil reducer in the stock. Package for $1,200, Call evenings (775)463-3595 FRAMED LEADED STAINED GLASS WINDOW, 25 inches high, 42 inches wide; magnolia Branch $250; white wood medicine chest $10; 3ft. by 3ft wood coffee table with glass inlay and shadowbox $60 (775)762-2220 INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX preparation, Federal and all States, prior years, audit representation, 30 years experience, reasonable rates (775)3920418
FreedomVote2024 ANNUAL YARD SALE...
and FUNDRAISER. Saturday, July 31st from 8am to 3pm. 1171 MillStreet, Gardnerville (next to Trinity Lutheran Church). Our newest t-shirts, hats and bumper stickers will be available. YARD SALE - SATURDAY, AUGUST 21ST - 9AM - 4PM Handyman’s Special! Storage bins, Tools, Repair & Replacement Items (some in original packaging), Household items, 1337 Petar Drive, Gardnerville
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
English Language
In celebration of the complexities of the English language, we bring you the following: Let’s face it English is a pretty strange language. There is no egg in the eggplant. No ham in the hamburger. And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England. French fries were not invented in France. We sometimes take English for granted but if we examine its paradoxes we find:- that Quicksand takes you down slowly. Boxing rings are square. A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing? If the plural of tooth is teeth shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth? If the teacher taught, why didn’t the preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables why don’t humanitarians eat human!? Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day and as cold as hell on another? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language:whereby a house can burn up as it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out. English was invented by people, not computers and it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which of course isn’t a race at all) RENT ME FOR SUMMER CLEANING, PUT A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove (775)297-2320
“YOUR HOMETOWN JUNK HAULER SINCE 1996!” Junk and Trash, etc, Carson Valley/Carson City, $279 a load plus dump fee, J.R.’s Hauling (775)265-6813
Annual St. Gall Rummage Sale.....
is scheduled for August 6th 7am - 5pm and August 7th, 7am3pm. This is our BIG ONE! We have something for everyone. St. Gall, 1343 Centerville Lane, Gardnerville (775)782-2852 MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 34+ YEARS experience! Serving Carson Valley and surrounding areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351 LADIES SCHWINN 7 SPEED BIKE, LIKE NEW, only ridden 4 times $75 (775)297-1921 JACKRABBIT PLUMBING. INC NOW HIRING Apprentice and Journeyman Plumbers, Plumbing Service Technician, and Radiant Heating/Boiler Service Technicians for the Carson Valley/Reno area. Send resume to PO Box 1492 Gardnerville, NV 89410 or call (775)782-4274
Leave Me Alone
The Lee family has been really stressing me out! Perhaps you know them... Emotional Lee, Physical Lee, Mental Lee and let’s not forget Financial Lee!
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Re-luster / Refurbish / Disinfect Kitchen Cabinets
Don’t paint-out or replace your existing cabinetry until you look at our services. The Great Basin has the highest UV and driest climate in the USA, damaging your cabinets’ finish. We have a whole new method and new concepts, with years of experience developed right here, for our climate! Our less intrusive process is many times less costly than painting or replacing! You don’t empty your cabinets! In just a few days, in & out for basic refurbishing. Add a day or two for color options like tinting/glazing. We have exclusive and proprietary professional products to enhance, renew and refurbish over your original finish! We normally work 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.; and clean-up & sanitize by 4:30 p.m., returning to your kitchen at 9:00 a.m. the next morning. Our deep cleaning professional and refurbishing products are hand rubbed, dustless, UV protective and EPA Nev. & Calif. Compliant! Yes, we have been and will continue to kill bacteria and disinfect, to our Guidelines! For inspections, sampling, client testimonials, written ‘Covid19 Sanitizing Program’, e-mail: danakathy-pc@hotmail.com OR call: ‘Cabinets Etc.’, Dana @ (775)781-7462 or Kathy @ (775)782-7821. NV. Lic. #18331, CA. Lic. #310071. “My brain is not equipped with facial or name recognition technology.”
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JR POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE AND REPAIR, ALL makes, models and years; Quads, OHV, Dirt and Street Bikes; from tune up to full rebuild. 35 years experience! Dayton, jrpowersports.com or (775)241-2530
Bathroom Graffiti
1. What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands. - Men’s room, Lynagh’s Bar. Lexington, KY. 2. No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap. - Men’s room, Linda’s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC. 3. Beauty is only a light switch away. - Perkins Library. Duke University. 4. If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then let’s all get wasted together and have the time of our lives. - Maggies Pizza, Washington, D.C. 5. Make love, not war. Heck, do both, get married. - Women’s restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT. 6. If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. Revolution Books, NY. 7. A woman’s rule of thumb, if it has tires or testicles, you’re going to have trouble with it. - Women’s restroom, Dallas, TX. YARD ENHANCEMENT SERVICES, handyman, fence repair/rebuild, tree and brush trim/removal, defensible space improvement, hauling, dump runs, Gardnerville area, Kelly (209)352-0084
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” A Tale Of Two Dogs
A few years ago I decided to adopt a dog through my local German Shepherd Rescue. After an official meeting with the host family to see if my family would meet standards set for the adoption, we were allowed to take a beautiful 2-year-old female Shepherd home with us. She was gentle and smart as a whip! However, one day on a walk, a neighbor’s dog crossed the street toward us in an aggressive manner and attacked her as she stepped in front of me. After that, whenever she saw any other dog she immediately transformed into a vicious animal! When I checked with the previous host family, I was told she’d also been attacked badly while at a dog park with them! Quickly I searched for and found an amazing woman with her own dog - a team who would help my sweet German Shepherd to shed her terrible fear. The other dog was an Australian Shepherd. My shepherd met the new “canine counselor” without her helper dog, at first. Then we stepped outdoors and were told to walk to the end of the street. Once there, I saw her open her car door and out came this off-leash, obedience trained “partner”! As we slowly approached them I stopped as soon as my dog became agitated. Her dog was calmly sitting, simply watching for directions. As weeks and months passed, these two dogs gradually walked side-by-side because of this quiet, steady and painstakingly careful process! A calm and steady Australian Shepherd erased the fear of a seemingly vicious German Shepherd and finally erased her invisible scars. (author unknown) HOME INTEGRITY - ALL YOUR NEEDS INSIDE and out, Licensed, bonded, and insured, Charles (775)357-5715, Samantha (775)220-4252 CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! REPAIR, RE-STITCH, Replace; Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/Minden (775)267-4434 or (775)230-8706 YOUR DREAM VACATION IS CLOSER THAN YOU think! For a travel planning consultation call (714)381-6233 Felicity Clark/Genoa - Independent Travel Consultant, An Affiliate of Academy Travel - Specializing in Disney and U versal Destinations.
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ANTIQUE FRENCH DESK, ANTIQUE POST OFFICE MAILBOX/Stateline; Hoosier cabinet, GE Dryer, Amana Washer, Maytag refrigerator, 1950’s ladies clothes and more (775)265-1480 FOR SALE; 12 ACRE FEET OF SUPPLEMENTAL agricultural water rights, Attached to Mott Creek, Gardnerville (775)781-4213
What did he say?
An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, Maam did you know you were speeding? The woman, hard of hearing, turns to her husband and asks, What did he say? The old man yells, He says you were speeding! The patrolman says, May I see your license? The woman turns to her husband and asks again, What did he say? The old man yells, He wants to see your license! The woman gave the officer her license. The patrolman says, I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen. The woman turned to her husband and asked, What did he say? And the old man yells, He said he knows you! MOBILE MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE, OIL & Filter Change, Air Filter, Brake Radiator Fluid, Dead Battery, Chain Sprocket, Clutch Throttle, mmmaint64@gmail.com or (775)671-4137
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
Old ain’t dumb
A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had enough. ‘Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,’ he said. ‘I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won’t be able to wheel back. ‘You’re on, old man,’ the braggart replied. Let’s see you do it.’ The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by
the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, ‘All right, wise guy, get in.’ 1988 - 2020 HOLIDAY BARBIE COLLECTION (34 DOLLS), new condition, never removed from boxes, nonsmoking house $4,000, for more information/photos call (702)280-5795 COLT PYTHON 357 4” BARREL, BLUED $2,100 firm; Colt Trooper MK111 357 magnum, 4” barrel, stainless steel $2,000 firm (775)720-6076
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The 4th Annual Silver State Art Festival September 10th-12th
Stunning artwork for sale; gourds, woodcraft, paintings, photography and much more. Plus, three (3) days of beginner and expert classes. FREE admission, food truck, large raffle supporting Meals on Wheels Carson City. www.NevadaGourdSociety. org email: NevadaGourdSociety@gmail.com (619)995-2475 BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND re-colored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (775)233- 5297 HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30+ years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick–up and delivery, parts in one day! californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521
Watercolor Classes in August
Four sessions for $55.00, at the Hwy 395 Museum in Gardnerville. Call Vickie Kingman at (775)265-0320. POPCORN MACHINE, ACE HARDWARE STYLE with popcorn $600; Plastic storage boxes with lids $8 each; Budweiser ‘After The Hunt’ bar light $50; 5 drawer file cabinet $25, Carson City (408)270-4028
Oakley * Ray-Ban * Maui Jim * Sunwear Renew their vows
A couple had been married 50 years and decided they wanted to renew their vows. They were discussing the details of their second wedding with their friends. She wasn’t going to wear a traditional bridal gown, and she started describing the dress she was planning to wear. One of her friends asked what color shoes she had to go with her dress. She replied, “Silver.” At that point, her husband chimed in, “Yep, silver... to match her hair.” Shooting a glaring look at his bald spot, her friend shot back, “So I guess you’re going barefoot.” CASH PAID FOR – KNIVES; TOBACCO Pipes; Old Lanterns (Camping, RR); Old Camp / Backpack Stoves; Old Decoys / Hunting Stuff, Jeff (775)720-2577 CERAMIC EQUIPMENT; 2 KILNS, OVER 200 MOLDS and supplies, Christmas tree and ornament molds, Halloween and Easter molds, planters, kitchens items, and more, Old radio collection for sale. Cabinet and tabletop radios. (925)768-2301 CUJO’S HOG HOUSE! V-TWIN Motorcycle repair, maintenance and accessories, also sales and service of Frankenstein Trike conversions, Factory Trained PHD and ASE Certified, 1430 Industrial Way, Unit C (in the back) (775)782-6051 “A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.”
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CRAFTSMAN CONSTRUCTION LLC, SPECIALIZING in: New Construction, Additions, Remodels and Painting: Quality Workmanship with over 30 years experience, free estimates, Serving Carson Valley, NV Lic.60315, NVPainting Lic.82727 Find us on Facebook or (775)690-1749
How many children?
Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him. They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he`d put an end to things by saying boldly, “After our second child, I’ll just have a vasectomy.” Without a moment’s hesitation, the bride retorted, “Well, I hope you’ll love the third one as if it’s your own.” PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, cabinets and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, (775)781-5531 HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)6915119
Jumbo jet
A man looked at the menu at the airport restaurant, and saw that the sandwiches were named for planes. “I’ll have a ‘jumbo jet’,” he said. When the order arrived, he was disappointed to see how small his burger was, but he ate it anyway. He called his waiter over. “Was that the ‘jumbo jet’?” he asked. “Yeah,” the waiter answered. “Went pretty fast, didn’t it?
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Some advice for those over 65
USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539
The Bravest Thing
A teacher asked her class to write on “What’s the bravest thing your dad has done?” A student wrote... “My dad married my mom.” . WANTED; LICENSE PLATES, OLD MOTORCYCLE Helmets, Musical Instruments, Old Watches And Old Lighters, John (775)315-4930
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1. It’s time to use the money you saved up. Use it and enjoy it. Don’t just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it. Remember there is nothing more dangerous than a son or daughter-in-law with big ideas for your hard-earned capital. Warning: This is also a bad time for investments, even if it seems wonderful or fool-proof. They only bring problems and worries. This is a time for you to enjoy some peace and quiet. 2. Stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren, and don’t feel bad spending your money on yourself. You’ve taken care of them for many years, and you’ve taught them what you could. You gave them an education, food, shelter and support. The responsibility is now theirs to earn their own money. 3. Keep a healthy life, without great physical effort. Do moderate exercise (like walking every day), eat well and get your sleep. It’s easy to become sick, and it gets harder to remain healthy. That is why you need to keep yourself in good shape and be aware of your medical and physical needs. Keep in touch with your doctor, do tests even when you’re feeling well. Stay informed. 4. Always buy the best, most beautiful items for your significant other. The key goal is to enjoy your money with your partner. One day one of you will miss the other, and the money will not provide any comfort then, enjoy it together 5. Don’t stress over the little things. Like paying a little extra on price quotes. You’ve already overcome so much in your life. You have good memories and bad ones, but the important thing is the present. Don’t let the past drag you down and don’t let the future frighten you. Feel good in the now. Small issues will soon be forgotten. 6. Regardless of age, always keep love alive. Love your partner, love life, love your family, love your neighbor and remember: “A man is not old as long as he has intelligence and affection.” 7. Be proud, both inside and out. Don’t stop going to your hair salon or barber, do your nails, go to the dermatologist and the dentist, keep your perfumes and creams well stocked. When you are well-maintained on the outside, it seeps in, making you feel proud and strong. 8. Don’t lose sight of fashion trends for your age, but keep your own sense of style. There’s nothing worse than an older person trying to wear the current fashion among youngsters. You’ve developed your own sense of what looks good on you – keep it and be proud of it. It’s part of who you are. 9. ALWAYS stay up-to-date. Read newspapers, watch the news. Go online and read what people are saying. Make sure you have an active email account and try to use some of those social networks. You’ll be surprised what old friends you’ll meet. Keeping in touch with what is going on and with the people you know is important at any age. 10. Respect the younger generation and their opinions. They may not have the same ideals as you, but they are the future, and will take the world in their direction. Give advice, not criticism, and try to remind them that yesterday’s wisdom still applies today. 11. Never use the phrase: “In my time.” Your time is now. As long as you’re alive, you are part of this time. You may have been younger, but you are still you now, having fun and enjoy-
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ing life. 12. Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter and surly. Life is too short to waste your days on the latter. Spend your time with positive, cheerful people, it’ll rub off on you and your days will seem that much better. Spending your time with bitter people will make you older and harder to be around. 13. Do not surrender to the temptation of living with your children or grandchildren (if you have a financial choice, that is). Sure, being surrounded by family sounds great, but we all need our privacy. They need theirs and you need yours. If you’ve lost your partner (our deepest condolences), then find a person to move in with you and help out. Even then, do so only if you feel you really need the help or do not want to live alone. 14. Don’t abandon your hobbies. If you don’t have any, make new ones. You can travel, hike, cook, read, dance. You can adopt a cat or a dog, grow a garden, play cards, checkers, chess, dominoes, golf. You can paint, volunteer or just collect certain items. Find something you like and spend some real time having fun with it. 15. Even if you don’t feel like it, try to accept invitations. Baptisms, graduations, birthdays, weddings, conferences. Try to go. Get out of the house, meet people you haven’t seen in a while, experience something new (or something old). But don’t get upset when you’re not invited. Some events are limited by resources, and not everyone can be hosted. The important thing is to leave the house from time to time. Go to museums, go walk through a field. Get out there. 16. Be a conversationalist. Talk less and listen more. Some people go on and on about the past, not caring if their listeners are really interested. That’s a great way of reducing their desire to speak with you. Listen first and answer questions, but don’t go off into long stories unless asked to. Speak in courteous tones and try not to complain or criticize too much unless you really need to. Try to accept situations as they are. Everyone is going through the same things, and people have a low tolerance for hearing complaints. Always find some good things to say as well. 17. Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with getting older. Try not to dwell on them but accept them as a part of the cycle of life we’re all going through. Try to minimize them in your mind. They are not who you are, they are something that life added to you. If they become your entire focus, you lose sight of the person you used to be. 18. If you’ve been offended by someone – forgive them. If you’ve offended someone - apologize. Don’t drag around resentment with you. It only serves to make you sad and bitter. It doesn’t matter who was right. Someone once said: “Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Don’t take that poison. Forgive, forget and move on with your life. 19. If you have a strong belief, savor it. But don’t waste your time trying to convince others. They will make their own choices no matter what you tell them, and it will only bring you frustration. Live your faith and set an example. Live true to your beliefs and let that memory sway them. 20. Laugh. Laugh A LOT. Laugh at everything. Remember, you are one of the lucky ones. You managed to have a life, a long one. Many never get to this age, never get to experience a full life. But you did. So what’s not to laugh about? Find the humor
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Story about happiness: The parable of love and time
in your situation. 21. Take no notice of what others say about you and even less notice of what they might be thinking. They’ll do it anyway, and you should have pride in yourself and what you’ve achieved. Let them talk and don’t worry. They have no idea about your history, your memories and the life you’ve lived so far. There’s still much to be written, so get busy writing and don’t waste time thinking about what others might think. Now is the time to be at rest, at peace and as happy as you can be! REMEMBER: “Life is too short to drink bad wine and warm beer.” MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627 Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, (775)782-4520 WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, bensonfeed.com, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)882-3999 “Aging gracefully is like the nice way of saying you’re slowly looking worse.”
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Once upon a time, there was a secluded island where all the feelings lived. Happiness, Sadness, Anger, Trust, the rest of the feelings, and all others that accompany feelings, including Love and Time. As long as they lived everyone in the world was able to have them. But then one day it was announced that the island was going to sink, so they all had to vacate the island as soon as possible or die, and with their deaths, everyone in the world would lose them forever. All the feelings and company quickly began to prepare their boats to leave as soon as possible. Love was the only one who decided to stay until the island would start to sink. But when the moment came and Love wanted to leave it found itself without a boat. Someone else must have taken it. Love started to worry and then suddenly it saw Wealth. As Wealth was passing by in its most beautiful boat Love said, “Wealth, can you take me with you?” Wealth answered, “No, I can’t. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat and sadly there is no place here for you.” Next Love saw Vanity who was also passing by, “Vanity, please help me!” pleaded Love. “I can’t help you, Love. You are all wet and would damage my boat if I take you in,” Vanity answered. Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, “Sadness, let me go with you.” Sadness unwillingly responded, “Oh..Love, I am so sad that I prefer to go alone!” Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy and cheerful that she did not hear when Love called her! Love was in disbelief. It was doomed to go down with the island, but then suddenly there was an elderly voice, “Come, Love, I will take you.” Love became so happy that he even forgot to ask the elder her name. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went on her own way. Love came across Knowledge and asked him if he knew who was the elder that helped him. “It was Time,” answered Knowledge. “Time? But why did Time help me?” asked Love. “Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is,” answered Knowledge. Love and Time became inseparable, even though many people forget about the importance of them together and ignore one when taking care of the other. 1998 TOYOTA FORERUNNER, AUTOMATIC V-6, 267,000 miles, runs great $3,800 (775)901-0717 CD’S $3 EACH, DOORS, STONES, QUEEN AND MORE, new condition 775-782-7476
Handy around the house
Susie: My husband is a great handyman. He can repair almost anything. Jane: My mother always taught me to beware of the man that can fix everything. You’ll never get anything new. CHAISE LOUNGE BOTTOM AND BACK PILLOWS, Nile Green, Damask upholstery 66”x30” $250, Marlene (775)4637908 ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)721-2880
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Come join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church
AMMO! AMMO! AMMO! 9MM 115 GRAIN, box of 50 $30; .223 55 grain, box of 50 $40; .45 230 grain, box of 50 $40, professional factory reloads in stock, special price on 1,000 rounds of 9mm (775)220-0911
WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192
It’s like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should be severance pay. And the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.
Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 5pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590
TRUCKING, DUMP TRUCK, BOBCAT/LOADER, Excavation and Water Truck Services, call Wade Draper - EMS Transport at (775)690-1671
Sierra Scoop - 100% direct mail
Relationships are hard
C. BARNHAM HANDYWOMAN - PAINTING, Sheetrock Repair, House Cleaning, Odd Jobs, crystalbarnham94@ gmail.com or (775)350-0613
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
How do flocking birds move in unison?
We’ve all seen flocks of birds wheeling and swooping in unison, as if choreographed. How do they do this? Zoologists say they aren’t simply following a leader, or their neighbors. If they were, the reaction time of each bird would need to be very fast – faster than birds actually do react, according to scientists who have studied the reaction times of individual birds in laboratory settings. The classic research on how flocking birds move in unison comes from zoologist Wayne Potts, who published in the journal Nature in 1984. His work showed that bird in flocks don’t just follow a leader, or their neighbors. Instead, they anticipate sudden changes in the flock’s direction of motion. And he said, once a change in direction begins in the flock, it then “spreads through the flock in a wave.” The propagation of this maneuver wave, as he called it, begins relatively slowly but can reach speeds three times faster than would be possible if birds were simply reacting to their immediate neighbors. Potts called this ability among flocking birds the chorus line hypothesis. That is, he said, birds are like dancers who see an approaching leg kick when it’s still down the line, and anticipate what to do. He said: These propagation speeds appear to be achieved in much the same way as they are in a human chorus line: individuals observe the approaching maneuver wave and time their own execution to coincide with its arrival. Potts used high-speed film – and a frame-by-frame analysis – of flocks of red-backed sandpipers (Calidris alpina) to conduct
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his study. He found that the flock typically responded only to birds that banked into the flock, rather than away from it. That makes sense, since flocking among birds serves the purpose of protecting birds from predators (although there are other purposes as well; for example, when one bird finds food, others in a flock eat, too). Individual birds, those who are separated from the flock, are more likely to be picked off by predators. Bottom line: According to Wayne Potts, a zoologist who published in the journal Nature in 1984, birds in flocks are able to change direction quickly not just because they are following a leader, or their neighbors, but because they see a movement far down the line and anticipate what to do next. Potts called this the chorus-line hypothesis for bird movement. Earthsky.org AMERICAN FUND RESEARCH AMMUNITION for sale, various calibers, call for details (775)720-6076 TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079
Long happy life
A woman walks up to an old man sitting in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long, happy life?” “I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of beer, eat fatty foods, and never, ever exercise,” he replied. “Wow, that’s amazing,” she said, “How old are you?” “Twenty-six.”
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PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441
Cause and Effect
An old sailor was out walking on the dock one day when he met a former ship mate of his. They had not seen each other for many years so they had much to talk about and many old memories to renew. After some time, one said to the other , “If you don’t mind my saying so, you don’t look very good, you must have experienced some bad luck”. “Yes,” the other one said, “I have. You see this peg leg? Well, one day I was out on deck and my leg become tangled up in a loose line and it was so badly mangled that they had to take it off at the knee.” His friend agreed that was bad luck. The other one continued. “You see I have a hook for a hand. One day I was out on deck when a shipmate of mine fell overboard. I leaned over as far as I could in a attempt to rescue him and as I extended my hand to him a shark took my hand off.” “My, you really did experience bad luck, the other responded, I see you have a patch over one eye, What happened to your eye?” “Well, I was out on deck again one day and just as I looked up, a seagull that was flying over, unloaded, and got me right in the eye.” “My, My,(not real sailor talk) did that take your eye out? No, that was the first day I had my hook.”
SEMI-RETIRED FINISH CARPENTER- DOOR install/ repairs, security screens, deadbolts, shelving, molding and general carpentry repairs. Call Mark (775) 782-6198 or (775)790-5927
Attention Yard Sale-ers!
FISH Flea Market 2nd Saturday in August from 8am-2pm. Sign up to sell your stuff or just come and enjoy the fun! Raffle for vendors, refreshments for all! Information: Renee (775)8823474 ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)2654766 $200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461
MOBILE EQUIPMENT REPAIR, AUTOS and small to heavy equipment, 25+ years experience, Silva and Sons jeremysilva1975@gmail.com or (707)761-0928 “Did you hear there is a coin shortage in America? We’re running out of common cents.”
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Trust a fellow Officer
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial -- it went like this: Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away. Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene. Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers? A: Yes sir, with my life. Q: With your life? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a locker room in the police station, a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties? A: Yes sir, we do. Q: And do you have a locker in that room? A: Yes sir, I do. Q: And do you have a lock on your locker? A: Yes sir. Q: Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers? A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room. TAKE CARE OF YOUR LOVED ONES. WILLS and Trusts. Day R. Williams, Attorney at Law, 1601 Fairview Drive, Suite C, Carson City, NV. Call Day today! (775)8858398 HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 21 years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453
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BEAUTIFUL BLACK TONE 5 DRAWER PINE WOOD dresser with mirror 52”Hx36” Wx17”D $99 OBO; Burgundy leather with tufted storage chest, 18”Hx44”Wx20”D, excellent condition $125 OBO (775)690-2139 ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $499, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994
Little girl or little boy?
Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, “Are you a little girl or a little boy?” “I don’t know,” replied the other baby giggling. “What do you mean, you don’t know?” said the first baby. “I mean I don’t know how to tell the difference,” was the reply. “Well, I do,” said the first baby chuckling, “I’ll climb into your crib and find out”. He carefully got himself into the other baby’s crib, then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets. After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big grin on his face. “You’re a little girl, and I’m a little boy,” he said proudly. “You’re ever so clever,” cooed the baby girl, “but how can you tell?” “It’s quite easy really,” replied the baby boy, “you’ve got pink socks and I’ve got blue ones.” BLACK VINYL SINGLE SLEEPER SOFA, VERY cushiony $50, heavy steel frame bed, Marlene (775)463-7908
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PORTABLE CAR CANOPY, 10’X20’ SHADE, NEVER used $75; Two Black and Decker saws $15 each; RIO blue steel shot shells, 12 gauge, 3.5 shells, two shot $100 (775)721-3346 CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWELRY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred. Please leave phone number and clear message on my NEW phone number. I return all calls. Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352
Yes Mother
A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: “Yes, mother, I’ve had a hard day. Dianne has been quite difficult… Yes, I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her. You were perfectly right. You want to speak with her? All right.” * * * * * He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room: “Dianne, your mother wants to talk to you!”
Place your ad today - 775-782-4520
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, inside or out, Fences (775)901-1912 WE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR PETS IN YOUR home, all sizes, we WILL spoil them as you do, call for meet and greet, 10+ years experience, housekeeping available too, Serving Carson City, Douglas County, Dayton, Johnnell and Al (209)986-6381
ACT 2 Consignment Hey LOOKI LU ! Where Are You??
Delight the Bride with something old, new, borrowed. ACT 2 offers gently used Clothing, Furniture, Household Items, Pictures and Glassware, 607 S. Main St. Yerington, Pat Riley (408)804-4010, Toni Harrison (775)781-6487 DO YOU NEED TO REPLACE YOUR WORN out concrete driveway, patio, or walkway? We also install new patios, driveways, monolithic garage slabs, retaining walls, footings, and stemwalls. K&C Construction, NV LIC # 79034, 79237, 81038, 86464. To get a free quote call at (775)691-6462 RIVAL ELECTRIC ICE CREAM/YOGURT MAKER $20; Conair home barber set $10; new CVS warm steam vaporizer (used once) $10; small Delsey carry on travel bag $10; king sized dark red down-filled comforter $20; new Mongoose bike seat and cover $10 (775)762-2220
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HAVE YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY AT JOE’S RESTAURANT, Carson City! Now serving Ice Cream, Milk Shakes, Sundaes, Ice Cream Cones and wonderful Rootbeer Floats. 11am-7pm Tuesday-Saturday, 1301 N. Carson Street (775)350-7415
Douglas County Democrats
The Douglas County Democrats will hold its next Central Committee meeting on August 26th at 7PM. The guest speaker will be Carlo Luri, Director of Government Affairs for Bently Heritage. Join us in person or register to join us via Zoom on our website at www.douglasdems.org. PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373 FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)782-8776 HIGH DESERT FLOOR COVERING IS HIRING a flooring installer to work in and around Yerington/Smith Valley. Must have own tools, for details call (775)463-1186 “I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is... Scaring men is easy.”
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Cowboy Rules for the Wild West
MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501 ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, all water sports, furnished cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at eaglelakeheritage.com or (800)459-5179 NEW BLACK AND DECKER WORKMATE BENCH vise $30; Craftsman 4 piece wood chisel set $10; new Chicago electric battery charger and car starter in box $35; new Drillmaster 3/8 inch drill and charger $20; 22 piece open/ box end wrench set $20; multi-purpose wood vice on folding steel legs $25; new National Double Acting Spring Door hinge set $20 (775)762-2220 FOR SALE ¾” M.D.F. (MEDIUM-DENSITY FIBERBOARD), Call Dan 530-495-2725 COLEMAN PROPANE LANTERN W/EXTRA FULL tank $20; Coleman ice chest $10; small Coleman ice chest $5; granite Canner Kettle with accessories and 30 jars $40 (775)762-2220 “Books are just TV for smart people.”
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Cowboy rules for Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Nebraska, Idaho, Nevada, South Dakota, Kansas and the rest of the Wild West are as follows: Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot. Turn your cap around, your head ain’t crooked. Let’s get this straight: it’s called a ‘gravel road.’ No matter how slow you drive, you’re gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way. They are cattle. That’s why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year. Every person in the Wild West waves. It’s called being friendly. Try to understand the concept. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ ducks/doves are comin’ in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It’s available at the corner bait shop. The ‘Opener’ refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. We open doors for women. That’s applied to all women, regardless of age. No, there’s no ‘vegetarian special’ on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef’s salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! You bring ‘Coke’ into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring ‘Mary Jane’ into my house, she better know how to shoot and drive a truck. College and High School Football is more important than the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks all combined, and a dang site more fun to watch. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don’t hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain’t music, anyway. We don’t want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1! A true Westerner will share this with at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won’t get it, but we’re friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what life in the real West is all about!!! SPECIALIZING IN GARAGES, ADDITIONS, REMODELS, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, Redline Construction Inc. (775)781-3955 JUNIPER, TREE & STUMP REMOVAL. Aerating & detaching. Lawn Service. Excavating. Sprinkler repair. Earth, Turf & Timber Landscape Maintenance (775)450-1955 The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers. THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Why worry?
In life there are two things to worry about: either you are well or you are sick. If you are well then there is nothing to worry about, but if you are sick there are only two things to worry about: either you get well or you die. If you get well then there is nothing to worry about. But if you die there are only two things to worry about: either you will go to heaven or to hell. If you go to heaven then there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you’ll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends you won’t have time to worry. D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)671-0808 LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers/Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Free Estimates, 10+ Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585 KENNY AND COLLEEN’S STUMP GRINDING services, K&C stump grinding services, Call (917)362-3181 or (410)739-4052 2000 HARLEY DAVIDSON, DYNA WIDE GLIDE, 9,300 low miles. New battery and tires. Python exhaust, original owner, lots of extras, mint condition, lost interest $5,000, Russ (775)790-0559 JAMES THE TECH GUY, IN-HOME services at a fair price, setup TV’s, computers, internet, security cameras, computer lessons (775)515-2316 HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 1950-60’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)291-6827
Happy August Birthdays!
Another year comes to a close, and another begins. May the coming year be one that will be filled with laughter of friends, love of family, and the life that you dream of. Happy birthday! ALL SEASONS - STURDY HANDRAILS, INSIDE - out, large or small, flat or stepped areas, single rail or options available, all metal custom built and installed (775)790-6445 SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two story houses, based in Minden area, call John (831)801-0003 PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)2916827
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HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK repair, replace, resurface and remove, trash removal, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235 LARGE QUANTITY OF IRRIGATION FITTINGS $390; five tie down chains and binders $350; two man auger and 8” and 18” bits $1,300 OBO; 12’X24’ mesh tarp $70 (775)2656798 WEEKLY LAWN CARE AND AERATION, 17+ years experience, quality service, Insured, serving Carson Valley, Carson Valley Lawn Care (775)230-2546
Substitute Custodians Wanted
Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for: Substitute Custodian, flexible hours and days, evening/swing shifts, Salary: $17.08/hour, Apply online: dcsd.k12. nv.us/employment to complete an application. POOL TABLE FOR SALE, INCLUDES CUE STICKS and pool balls, $100, you move (775)790-1176 CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Call or text Joanne at (775)4302352
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Happiness
We often wonder, where happiness starts. The journey usually begins, in our individual hearts. Each of us possesses, our happiness view. We must stick to our values, in the mirror we must be true. Spending time with others, who we love and deeply care. It’s these simple moments in time, every day we’d love to share. All the fortunes in this world, shall not make our spirits sing. It’s amazing how much joy, a baby’s laughter seems to bring. Happiness is processed, a million times inside each mind. The secret is no secret, just be positive and kind. This feeling that we seek, does not depend on age. We truly hope it follows us, as we turn another page. 40 CALIBER AMMO: WINCHESTER, MOSTLY hollow point, some Ranger T-series. 1500 rounds available, $400 per 500, Gardnerville (562)598-8988 PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081 1991 CADILLAC DEVILLE, 116,000 MILES, ASKING $2,000 OBO (775)220-9632 PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@ aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065
A Ventriloquist apologizes
A young ventriloquist is touring Norway and puts on a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, ‘I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Norwegian blonde women that way? What does the color of a woman’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all blondes are dumb. You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women in general, pathetically all in the name of humor!’ The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde interrupts yelling, ‘You stay out of this..I’m talking to that little turd on your lap.’ NDM-86 DRAGONOV COMPLETE, PLUS EXTRAS and a full case of 7N1 ammunition, Asking $11,000 or best offer, contact Pete at (775)315-4285 STURDY WOOD ENTERTAINMENT CENTER with plenty of storage space $50 (775)501-1263 “A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter65@ gmail.com or (775)530-8932
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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
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