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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE - Quality work performed in-shop, in office or inhome. Dependable, affordable! Over 14 Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 HUNTER’S GUN AMMO AND SPORTING Goods; Wolverine Boots, Gun Consignment and Gunsmithing, Monday-Friday 9am-6pm, Saturday 10am6pm, 400 N. Main, Suite C, Yerington (775)463-7010 ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, all water sports, furnished cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at eaglelakeheritage.com or (800)459-5179 TOPAZ LAKE NEIGHBOORHOOD GARAGE SALE August 5th and 6th, 9am to 3pm at 1963 Beatty St, Topaz Lake, No early birds please! ROASTED GARLIC JAM, SOLD AT SCOLARI’S Market, Carrols Corner, South Yerington, call for more information (775)846-8972 or (775)463-1265

MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501 LARRY’S TRACTOR SERVICE, CLEANUP WORK, rototilling, backhoe, box scraper, dump trailer, rake, hole drilling, affordable rates (775)2672245 or (775)690-4632 8’ SLATE POOL TABLE WITH BUILT IN CUE drawers, fitted cover, triple overhead lights, like new condition $1,650 OBO (775)782-2891 JOB HUNTING? CHANGING CAREERS? SEEKING a promotion? Re-entering the job market? Beat the competition with a professional resume created by The Resume Business (775)267-2711 HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)267-1958

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Keep Yourself at 17 Inches

In Nashville, Tennessee, during the first week of January, 1996, more than 4,000 baseball coaches descended upon the Opryland Hotel for the 52nd annual ABCA convention. While I waited in line to register with the hotel staff, I heard other more veteran coaches rumbling about the lineup of speakers scheduled to present during the weekend. One name, in particular, kept resurfacing, always with the same sentiment — “John Scolinos is here? Oh man, worth every penny of my airfare.” Who the heck is John Scolinos, I wondered. Well, in 1996 Coach Scolinos was 78 years old and five years retired from a college coaching career that began in 1948. No matter, I was just happy to be there. He shuffled to the stage to an impressive standing ovation, wearing dark polyester pants, a light blue shirt, and a string around his neck from which home plate hung — a full-sized, stark-white home plate. Pointed side down. Seriously, I wondered, who in the hell is this guy? After speaking for twenty-five minutes, not once mentioning the prop hanging around his neck, Coach Scolinos appeared to notice the snickering among some of the coaches. Even those who knew Coach Scolinos

had to wonder exactly where he was going with this, or if he had simply forgotten about home plate since he’d gotten on stage. Then, finally …“You’re probably all wondering why I’m wearing home plate around my neck. Or maybe you think I escaped from Camarillo State Hospital,” he said, his voice growing irascible. I laughed along with the others, acknowledging the possibility. “No,” he continued, “I may be old, but I’m not crazy. The reason I stand before you today is to share with you baseball people what I’ve learned in my life, what I’ve learned about home plate in my 78 years.” Several hands went up when Scolinos asked how many Little League coaches were in the room. “Do you know how wide home plate is in Little League?” After a pause, someone offered, “Seventeen inches,” more question than answer. “That’s right,” he said. “How about in Babe Ruth? Any Babe Ruth coaches in the house?” Another long pause. “Seventeen inches?” came a guess from another reluctant coach. “That’s right,” said Scolinos. “Now, how many high school coaches do we have in the room?” Hundreds of hands shot up, as the pattern began to appear. “How wide is home plate in high school baseball?” continued..

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” “Seventeen inches,” they said, sounding more confident. “You’re right!” Scolinos barked. “And you college coaches, how wide is home plate in college?” “Seventeen inches!” we said, in unison. “Any Minor League coaches here? How wide is home plate in pro ball?” “Seventeen inches!” “RIGHT! And in the Major Leagues, how wide home plate is in the Major Leagues?” “Seventeen inches!” “SEV-EN-TEEN INCHES!” he confirmed, his voice bellowing off the walls. “And what do they do with a Big League pitcher who can’t throw the ball over these seventeen inches?” Pause. “They send him to Pocatello!” he hollered, drawing raucous laughter. “What they don’t do is this: they don’t say, ‘Ah, that’s okay, Bobby. You can’t hit a seventeen-inch target? We’ll make it eighteen inches, or nineteen inches. We’ll make it twenty inches so you have a better chance of throwing the ball over it. If you can’t hit that, let us know so we can make it wider still, say twenty-five inches.’” Pause. “Coaches …” Pause.” … what do we do when our best player shows up late to practice? What do we do if he violates curfew? What if he uses drugs? Do we hold him accountable? Or do we change the rules to fit him? Do we widen home plate?” The chuckles gradually faded as four thousand coaches grew quiet, the fog lifting as the old coach’s message began to unfold. Then he turned the plate toward himself and, using a Sharpie, began to draw something. When he turned it toward the crowd, point up, a house was revealed, complete with a freshly drawn door and two windows. “This is the problem in our homes today. With our marriages, with the way we parent our kids. With our discipline. We don’t teach accountability to our kids, and there is no consequence for failing to meet standards. We widen the plate!” Pause. Then, to the point at the top of the house he added a small American flag. “This is the problem in our schools today. The quality of our education is going downhill fast and teachers have been stripped of the tools they need to be successful….to educate and discipline our young people. We are allowing others to widen home plate! Where is that getting us?” “And this is the problem in the Church, where powerful people in positions of authority have taken advantage of young children, only to have such an atrocity swept under the rug for years. Our church leaders are

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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widening home plate!” I was amazed. At a baseball convention where I expected to learn something about curveballs and bunting and how to run better practices, I had learned something far more valuable. From an old man with home plate strung around his neck, I had learned something about life, about myself, about my own weaknesses and about my responsibilities as a leader. I had to hold myself and others accountable to that which I knew to be right, lest our families, our faith, and our society continue down an undesirable path. “If I am lucky,” Coach Scolinos concluded, “you will remember one thing from this old coach today. It is this: if we fail to hold ourselves to a higher standard, a standard of what we know to be right; if we fail to hold our spouses and our children to the same standards, if we are unwilling or unable to provide a consequence when they do not meet the standard; and if our schools and churches and our government fail to hold themselves accountable to those they serve, there is but one thing to look forward to …” With that, he held home plate in front of his chest, turned it around, and revealed its dark black backside. “… dark days ahead.” Coach Scolinos died in 2009 at the age of 91, but

not before touching the lives of hundreds of players and coaches, including mine. Meeting him at my first ABCA convention kept me returning year after year, looking for similar wisdom and inspiration from other coaches. He is the best clinic speaker the ABCA has ever known because he was so much more than a baseball coach. His message was clear: “Coaches, keep your players — no matter how good they are — your own children, and most of all, keep yourself at seventeen inches. (Written by Coach Sperry) HIGH ROLLERS PAINTING FOR ALL YOUR PAINTING needs and drywall repairs! Competitive rates and quality workmanship, bonded and insured, NV#44048, highrollerspainting.net or (775)267-2534 YARD SALE, FRIDAY AND SATURDAY July 28th and 29th, 9am - Noon, lots of goodies, Chichester Estates, 1372 Granborough, Gardnerville C.F.I. CERTIFIED CARPET, HARDWOOD, VINYL, no charge for furniture. Three year labor warranty! Residential and Commercial, Competitive pricing, JS Flooring (775)267-4123

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” What Happened to Respecting Your Elders?

WNC Community Education Classes

Clay Club, R.I.P.P.E.D. exercise class Monday/ Wednesday’s 5:30pm-6:30pm – Check our website for additional classes, class descriptions, dates, cost, and register on line at www.campusece.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4268. REDLINE CONSTRUCTION, INC., SPECIALIZING in garages, additions, remodels, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, (775)781-3955 CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! REPAIR, RESTITCH, Replace; Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Spa Sun Covers and Patio Shade; Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/ Minden (775)267-4434 or (775)230-8706 BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND recolored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (530)495-1641 or (775)233- 5297 RENT ME FOR SUMMER CLEANING, PUT A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove (775)297-2320

It has been my privilege to have been involved with senior citizens for over 25 year. My desire in working with this inspirational generation began when caring for my grandmother during an illness up until death. I was captivated when she shared memories of her life. My time with her gave me a better understanding of her generation and I developed a deeper respect for our elders. After my grandmother’s death I began initiating community projects assisting the elderly in her honor and volunteering at the nursing home where she spent the last month of her life. I have also had the pleasure of working with this remarkable generation at a senior center for four years. Although I no longer work there, I continue to visit seniors I have met at the center. The joy and satisfaction I receive from my experiences with seniors is overshadowed by the sadness and anger I feel that family, community and younger generations regard their patriarchs and matriarchs with such insensitivity. I know of seniors who have had to choose between purchasing medications or groceries. This generation is proud and independent and it can be hard to ask for help, but families should be more involved in ensuring their senior family members have what they need. Even if families do not have an ideal relationship with their elders, weren’t we taught to respect our elders, that family comes first and family will always come first and family will always be there for you? Elders are held in high esteem in other countries and their advice and knowledge sought out and respected. Our country should be embarrassed that it does not do a better job supporting and appreciating its elders. It should not be possible in this country that so many seniors are being mistreated and neglected by people who are charged with their care, including their own family members. It should not be possible in this country that seniors are going without food, heat and medications, particularly if they have family close. It should not be possible in this country that our elders are left alone day after day. Why aren’t younger generations being taught to respect their elders? Our elders are a vital connection to our past. They have lived during the most difficult of times and have inspiring stories to share with families and younger generations, if only we’d realize the importance of this resource. I am amazed at the incredible accomplishments seniors have achieved while coping with difficult conditions. Their strength and courage inspire me. Their remarkable spirit and persistence should be an inspiration to their families, their communities and younger generations. They deserve our attention

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and respect. Wake up America. Respect our elders! Be inspired by them and appreciate this incredible resource and connection to our past. It is important to recognize the value of past generations, as it will then inspire and prepare younger generations to carry us into a promising future. By Debbi Covell TOP CASH FOR PRE WWII SILVER INDIAN JEWELRY, postcards, bottles, mining, swords, advertising, books, guns, badges, toys, lamps, railroad, military, documents, Indian and gambling items, any condition, please call Ron (775)782-3893 I AM LOOKING FOR SOMEONE THAT NEEDS land to farm hay or ?? I have 20 acres with water rights and a sprinkler system, in Smith Valley, Marge Buell, PO Box 94, Smith Valley, Nevada 89444 or (775)465-1090 MASTER HOROLOGIST, CLOCK REPAIR, MUSEUM Quality Furniture, Chair Caning and Antique Everything Restoration, Grandfather Clock House Calls! A-1 Restorations since 1967, Larry (775)782-2422

Baby Mosquito

It was a baby mosquito’s first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, “How was your journey?” The baby mosquito replied, “It went great, everyone was clapping for me!” CUSTOM MASONRY, ONE BRICK AT A TIME, Commercial/Residential, 3+ Better Business Bureau rating, serving Carson Valley 12+ years, Free Estimates, M Sqrd Masonry, NV#200616647 and CA#924187, Marc Duryee (775)450-6219 or (775)783-4753 PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827 LONGARM QUILTING; CUSTOM-FREEHAND or computerized, custom order quilts from scratch; T-shirt, baby clothes, nursery, decor, etc., Stacy www.seedandmountain.com or (530)314-0910

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Words of Wisdom

Always wanted to be a procrastinator, but never got around to it. My friend has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, he takes something for it. Never be afraid to try something new, Remember amateurs built the ark - Professionals built the Titanic. Love is grand - divorce is a hundred grand. Politicians (many of them) and diapers have one thing in common, they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. One of life’s mysteries - How can a two pound box of candy make a person gain five pounds. Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician. Age doesn’t always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone. Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show. COMPLETE LAWNCARE, PAVERS, RETAINING walls and more! 30 years in Carson Valley, Senior Discounts And Free Estimates, Nevada Lawns (775)450-2156

Guardian Angel

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.” The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die.” The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. “Where are you?” the man asked. “Who are you?” “I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered. “Oh yeah?” the man asked... “And where the heck were you when I got married?” GLOCK MODEL 17 9MM LIKE NEW IN BOX AND complete, very nice, test fired, $540 firm, private party sale, Nevada resident, Yerington (775)8424065 GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO OWN THE LARGEST firewood yard in Carson City, 11 years in business, retiring, over 100 loyal customers, call Ed (775)297-2320

REMOTE CONTROL BOAT KIT, COASTAL TANKER kit complete with all parts, transmitter, receiver, servos, batteries, charger, and all detail parts. Kit is partially built, 42” long, 10” wide, ¼ in scale, make offer (775)266-4539 PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, faux and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, powerspainting.org or (775)781-5531 or (775)315-5179

Annual St. Gall Rummage Sale…

is scheduled for August 4th, 7am-5pm and August 5th, 7am-3pm. This is our BIG ONE! We have something for everyone. St. Gall, 1343 Centerville Lane, Gardnerville (775)782-2852 WE KEEP YOUR HOME COMFORTABLE! Plumbing, Heating and Air Conditioning, Residential and Commercial. Serving Douglas County and surrounding communities, 20+ years experience, Mention this ad for 5% discount on service call, Riley Plumbing and Heating, Nevada Licensed (775)265-1765 GOT WOOD? SAMMY’S FIREWOOD, HONEST Quality Service, soft and hard wood, delivery available, located in Carson City, (775)315-0834

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Caregivers Needed

Join our team of Caregivers and make a difference in the lives of seniors. Provide companionship and bring assisted living into their home. Full-time, part-time, days, nights, 12 hour, and 24 hour shifts available. Retired and mature adults encourage to apply. EOE Apply online eden-homecare.com (775)392-2000 HIGH DESERT BARNS, CUSTOM STEEL BUILDINGS, Horse Shelters, Quality Barns built with 25 years of experience, highdesertbarns.com or (775)246-3004 10’X12’ BOUND, LIGHT BEIGE CARPET and pad, like new, no pets or children ever on it $300 (775)386-7471 LOCKHEED SKUNKWORKS - LOCKHEED Skunkworks; Buying Photos, Mementos, Autographs, Books. Especially Blackbird, Jamie, integrity@prodigy.net or (775)720-2829 USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)2472539

Toothpaste Remedy for Bee Stings

Toothpaste is one of the easiest to apply and most accessible bee sting home remedies. Many people believe that you must be very careful not to squeeze the venom sack when removing a bee sting. This is not supported by research. The most important thing is to remove the stinger as quickly as possible by any means. Be careful not to break the stinger and leave it buried in the skin. Remove stinger as soon as possible. A pair of tweezers or something like a credit card that can be used to scrape out the stinger are good tools; a deft pair of fingers may work as well. Treat wound with antibiotic if available. Apply toothpaste directly to bee sting wound. Many toothpastes contain glycerine which dries out the venom. Toothpaste is an alkaline substance which neutralizes acidic venom. BRANDED KIDS WEAR AT THE LOWEST POSSIBLE prices. All your favorite brands under one roof. Use special discount code DS11616 at www. opamrkt.com WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192

Advertising Sales Representative Wanted!

Sierra Scoop, a direct mail monthly publication is seeking a part time self motivated, well-organized candidate with great people skills, who can generate prospective customers through cold calling and helping customers grow their businesses through print advertising. You’ll help clients reach their target audience and grow your income in the process. Candidates need to be highly motivated, have excellent communication skills, be deadline driven, detail oriented, and comfortable with travel. Must have a valid driver’s license, reliable transportation, and proof of insurance. If you have a flair for sales, and an ambitious attitude to succeed we want to hear from you! Send a letter of interest describing your qualifications, by mail to Sierra Scoop, PO Box 869, Minden, NV 89423 or email sierrascoop@charter.net SHOPSMITH MARK V, FUNCTIONS; RIP and chop saw, drill press, 12” sander, blades for molding, lathe, variable speed motor; great working condition, instruction and parts book included $1,000, Dave (775)246-2433

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First Wedding

A young girl was attending her first wedding, watching the proceedings with interest for a while before growing restless. The groom stood at the altar as six bridesmaids walked slowly up the aisle, one by one. Soon, the girl leaned over to her mom and whispered, “Why doesn’t he just hurry up and pick one?” COMMERCIAL DELI SLICER, GOOD CONDITION $300 (775)790-1640

PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373 DASILVA’S HAULING/HANDYMAN SERVICES Cleanup, tree trimming/removal, rock and dirt removal, weed pulling, tractor service, handyman services, fence repairs and housecleaning, NV#0319423 (775)230-3436 or (775)354-3328

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Deer Camp

Looking for Unique, One of a Kind Jewelry?

Come shop in my workshop! Specializing in Copper, Steampunk, and special orders, right here in Gardnerville. Credit cards accepted. By appointment only. Sue Bennett, founder of A Touch of Class Craft Show (775)265-1097 or atouchofclassnv.org. GUNSMITHING SERVICES, CLEANING, REPAIR, Customizing, Federal Nevada License, Thom’s Gun Shop, Wellington (775)266-3136

Four guys were at a deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept in the same cabin as Daryl, and comes to breakfast the next morning with hair a mess and eyes all bloodshot. The other two said: “Man, what happened to you?” He said: “Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.” The next night, it was the second guy’s turn. In the morning, same thing-hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. The other two said: “Man what happened to you? You look awful!” He said: “Man that Daryl shakes the roof. I couldn’t do anything but sit up and watch him all night.” The third night was Rich’s turn. Rich was a big burly ex-football player, a man’s man. The next morning he came to breakfast, brighteyed and bushy tailed. “Good morning,” he said. The other two couldn’t believe it-he looked rested and wide awake. They asked: “Man, what happened?” He said: “Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed, patted his behind and kissed him good night. Daryl sat up and watched me all night.” HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30 years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick –up and delivery; parts in one day! californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521 HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $35 per hour (775)691-5119 MOVING? WE DO CLEAN OUTS, SO YOU can move on. We have 10 years professional cleaning experience! (775)315-4177 HYDRAULIC AND PNEUMATIC AIR CYLINDERS repair and rebuild, log splitters, tractors, farm equipment, dump trucks and trailers, etc. all makes and models. Machining, welding, fabrication, design, reasonable rates! 18 years experience, Ramco Fabrication, Shawn (775)267-7358 CASH PAID FOR YOUR UNUSED DIABETIC TEST strips (775)200-6769

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” What is Phubbing and is it Ruining Your Relationships?

WNC Motorcycle Rider Course

Registration for the 2017 Motorcycle season is open, Basic Rider Course - $160, the NEW Basic Rider Course II - $85 and the Advanced Rider Course - $85. The BRC II is for riders who have been riding or need to update their skills. This New course is the intermediate course of the three motorcycle classes offered at WNC. The BRC II will include an online classroom portion and MUST be completed prior to the in person class. Check class descriptions, dates, and registration on line at www.campusece.net/wnc/ or call (775)4454268. BOOKKEEPING, PAYROLL, INCOME TAX PREPARATION, we do it all! 22+ years experience; Professional, reliable quality work personalized for your small business or personal situation. Pro-Balanced Bookkeeping (775)246-3363 PREPPERS GEAR! 5 GALLON FOOD BUCKETS with lids $8 each; canning jars $10 case; gas cans $10 each; Mountain House $50 case; water jugs $5 each, too, too boxes, so much more (775)636-3353

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Hey, you. Are you cheating on your friends with your phone? If so, it’s got a name and, reportedly, serious side effects. According to new research, the act of phubbing, or phone snubbing, is a very real epidemic in the United States, and aside from being rude and inconsiderate, may also come with a few more insidious results. As per results published in the journal “Computers in Human Behavior,” not only can ignoring your partner in favor of your phone damage your relationship, it can also lead to depression and lower rates of overall life satisfaction for the, um, phubbee. So put down your phone and start paying attention to the people sitting right next to you. If you’re curious as to whether you or your partner is guilty of phubbing, you can try to answer the following questions used in Roberts’ study. But be warned, you may not like what you discover: During a typical mealtime together, my partner pulls out and checks his/ her cell phone. My partner places his or her cell phone where they can see it when we are together. My partner keeps his or her cell phone in their hand when he or she is with me. When my partner’s cell phone rings or beeps, he/she pulls it out even if we are in the middle of a conversation. My partner glances at his/her cell phone when talking to me. During leisure time that my partner and I are able to spend together, my partner uses his/her cell phone. My partner uses his or her cell phone when we are out together. If there is a lull in our conversation, my partner will check his or her cell phone. In a rather “well duh” sort of conclusion, Roberts found that “when people perceived their partners to be phubbers - they spend more time paying attention to their phones - that created conflict in the relationship.” What is surprising, however, is the frequency with which this sort of behavior occurs. According to survey results, 46.3 percent of respondents said they’d experienced phubbing at the hands of their significant other, and 22.6 percent admitted that phubbing led to problems in the relationship. FLEA FAIR, SATURDAY AND SUNDAY, August 12th and 13th and 26th and 27th, at Wa-She-Shu Casino and Travel Plaza, Hwy. 395 South, Gardnerville or for information (775)265-9567 WEEKLY LAWN CARE, DETHATCHING AND AERATION, 13+ years experience, quality service, serving Carson Valley, Carson Valley Lawn Care, Insured (775)230-2546

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Drinking Again

A guy decides to take off work early from work and go drinking. He stays in the bar until it closes at 2 am. By then, he is extremely drunk. When he gets back to his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone up, so he takes off his shoes and starts tiptoeing up the stairs. Halfway up the stairs, he loses his balance, falls over backwards, and lands flat on his rear end. That wouldn’t have been so bad, except that he had a couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets and they broke, carving up his rear end terribly. But he was so drunk he didn’t know he was hurt. A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he saw some blood. He checked himself out in the mirror and, sure enough, his rear end is cut up something terrible. He repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances and went to bed. The next morning, his head was hurting and his rear was hurting, and he was lying under the covers trying to think up a good story, when his wife came into the bedroom. “Well, you really tied one on last night,” she said. “Where’d you go?” “I worked late,” he said, “and I stopped off for a

couple of beers.” “A couple of beers? That’s a laugh!” she replied. “You were plastered last night, and you know it! Where’d you go?” “What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?” “Well,” she replied, “my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror.” CURT Q-16 FIFTH WHEEL HITCH, LIKE new, $250 OBO, Text (775)720-1990 G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, summer cleanup, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672 WINCHESTER CANADIAN CENTENNIAL 30-30, 90% $650 OBO, Nevada resident only with Nevada drivers license, Bob/Carson City (775)232-0882 GENEALOGY - THOROUGH RESEARCH OF FAMILY histories. A unique gift for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or yourself! www. PersonalPedigree.com or Lisa (775)450-3175

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Future Plans

A couple in their early seventies were discussing their future plans. The husband asked, “What will you do if I die before you?” The wife thought for a moment before replying, “I will probably look to share a house with three other single or widowed women, maybe people a little younger than me since I am still active for my age. What about you? What will you do if I die first?” He answered, “Probably the same.”

MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 35 years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919 RYOBI TABLE SAW BT2000, LIKE NEW $100; Band saw, 14” wood $50; Gasoline Auger Powerhead $50; 12’ Aluminum boat and new 5HP Briggs & Stratton motor and extras $900; Airco welder 225 amps $50 (775)267-5219

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Berean Bible Church - Christ Alone!

Sunday Worship Service 9:30am; Children’s Sunday School provided. Women’s Bible Study – 2nd and 4th Friday 8am; Men Bible Study – Fridays 8am; CoEd Bible Study – Tuesdays 6pm. Call for details (775)782-3931 1516 Hwy. 395, Gardnerville (in the HAAS Center) VOICE AND PIANO LESSONS, BEGINNER to Advanced students, experienced teacher, performer, music degree. Call The Songlady! Carolyn Lancaster (775)720-1918 or (775)267-2582 SMITH VALLEY IRRIGATION – SERVING NEVADA and Sierra Communities for 38 Years with Ag Irrigation Systems and Parts (775)465-2316 SCI GRADING EXCAVATING ROAD WORK, house pads, drainage and erosion control, septic systems and pumping, wet and dry utilities, demolition, water and dump truck service, Erik Viksna NV#076958, CA#954210, (530)306-2647 or (775)6299000

On a Diet

An overweight business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favorite bakery. One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffeecake. We all scolded him, but his smile remained cherubic. “This is a very special coffeecake,” he explained. “I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, `Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffeecakes, let me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery.’ “And sure enough,” he continued, “the eighth time around the block, there it was!” GREG’S SMALL ENGINE SERVICE AND REPAIR! Lawn Mowers, Snow Blowers, Portable Generators, Tillers, Shredders, Pressure Washers; On Site Pick-Up And Delivery, Serving Carson City, Carson Valley, Dayton - gregtenbroeck@yahoo.com or visit us at gregsmallengine.com (775)790-0435 or (530)307-1132

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LET US UNLOAD ON YOU! TOP SOIL, ROCK, DG, worm castings etc. Tight time line? We’re really fast! 30+ years experience, serving Carson and surrounding communities, Nevada Organics (775)8829500

Codependents Anonymous

CoDA “Developing Healthy Relationships” Carson City, Sparks and Kings Beach, Visit www.coda. org or call for details, Al at (775)882-0884 or Bob C. (775)720-1040 PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065 THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848

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Returned Check

A doctor calls his patient and says, “The check you gave me for my bill came back.” The patient replied, “So did my arthritis!” JR POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE AND REPAIR, ALL makes, models and years; Quads, OHV, Dirt and Street Bikes; from tune up to full rebuild. 35 years experience! Dayton, jrpowersports.com or (775)241-2530 D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)671-0808 EXPERIENCED HOT TUB REPAIR AND MAINTENANCE, monthly/bi-monthly, new custom covers available! Serving Carson Valley area, Carson Spa Care (775)230-5328 AMANA AIR CONDITIONER 3.5 TON conditioning unit, used eight seasons $500 OBO, Carson City (775)224-3988

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” A Daddy’s Letter to His Little Girl (About Her Future Husband)

Come Join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church

Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 5pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590 CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Joanne, please leave clear message (775)4659422 ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)265-4766 RENEE’S UPHOLSTERY, FORMERLY OF SARAH’S, specializing in motorcycle seats, furniture, marine, automotive, 20 years experience, rquell@ sbcglobal.net or (775)530-3941

This is also a good read for the generation of boysbecoming-men. Dear Cutie-Pie, Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.” It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior. And I got angry. Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.” Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul - in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego - that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.) If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you. Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting: I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table - as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking. I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me - as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you. I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet - as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you. I don’t care if he is strong - as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart. I couldn’t care less how he votes - as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart. I don’t care about the color of his skin - as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness. I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred. continued...

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In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common: You. Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you. Your eternally interested guy, Daddy GLOCK MODEL 23 IN 40 S&W PLUS BOX, like new, test fired very nice $520 firm, Nevada resident/ private party (775)842-4065 PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081

How an IT Professional Introduces his Family…

This is my wife Jane, she’s like Google. You ask her anything and she has 10 answers ready in no time. This is my son Tom who’s like Facebook. He spreads the intimate details of our family to the neighborhood. This is my daughter Elisha, she’s like Twitter. Apparently every guy from high school follows her. This is my mother in law, she’s like Whatsapp. She blabbers all day and has opinions about everything but none of them have any substance. And you know me, I am like Orkut cuz apparently all the people including my own family has lost interest in me.

PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, inside or out, Fences (775)901-1912

JUKI INDUSTRIAL SEWING MACHINE, MODEL DLN5410, high speed self-oiling plus 10 packs of needles, like new condition $550 OBO (775)782-2891

HOT TUB SERVICE AND REPAIR, WEEKLY and bi weekly service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)267-2490

PUPPY LOVE, PERSONALIZED GROOMING BY Auntie Dollie, 40 years experience, Monday through Saturday by appointment, TRE (775)2663574

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Home for a Visit

I went back to my hometown and decided to visit the house I grew up in. I asked the occupants if I could come inside. They said, “No!” My parents can be so grouchy sometimes. FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)5181166 or (775)782-8776 PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441 ELECTROLYSIS AND LASER FOR HAIR REMOVAL; Complimentary, confidential consultation. 33 years experience. Weekday, evening, Saturday appointments available, Sally Battista (775)782-6190 JOHNNY CASH IMPERSONATOR WANTED to perform at a local birthday party in September, for more details text or call (949)413-2490

Flying Pig Flea Market

Be a vendor. Come to browse, August 19th 8am-4pm and August 20th, 9am-4pm, Fuji Park Building, Carson City, for information call (775)882-4717 or (775)3150008 RESIDENTIAL CLEANING, LICENSED, BONDED and insured with references, Free estimates, great cleaning, fair prices (775)220-4252 BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)8836629 BIRD CAGES $5 - $25; DOME BARBEQUE grill $10; cement mixer $100; tool box for regular pickup truck $50; Bowflex Motivator 2 home gym $350 (775)883-7890 A BAD TILE JOB CAN BE LIKE A BAD HAIRCUT, but it doesn’t grow back, so don’t get hacked! Done right the first time, Sundance Tile and Marble, NV#58795 (775)691-9954

Hypochondriac

Brian, one of the world’s greatest hypochondriacs, bumped into his doctor one day at the supermarket. “Doc!” Brian exclaimed, “I’ve been meaning to tell you, remember those voices I kept hearing in my head? I haven’t heard them in over a week!” “Wow! What wonderful news Brian! I’m so happy for you!” his doctor. exclaimed. “Wonderful?” asked a dismal looking Brian. “There’s nothing wonderful about it. I’m afraid my hearing is starting to go now!” REFURBISHED MOBILE HOMES LOOKING FOR Good Tenants! 1 and 2 Bedroom for rent, payment starting from $565 plus all utilities, no pets please, available now in, Silver Springs and Yerington (775)316-0634 NEW – 11’ INFLATABLE BOAT WITH TRANSOM, 34lb motor, battery, pumps and oars, used once 6/23/17 $250; 4000 watt generator, never used $200; Frigidaire window AC, new in box $100; Body Vision Power Tower, like new $50; 1100 watt Panasonic Counter top microwave $20, Carson City (775)790-1311 or (928)710-9053

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” On the Way to a Funeral

There is nothing fun about a funeral, but despite that, I had a good laugh at the following reaction by my two children. We, along with a bunch of other relatives, were following the hearse of my late great aunt. When my daughter, who always tends to focus on the morbid things in life raised the dreaded question, “Dad, what’s going to happen to us when you die?” My son who was busy texting one of his friends at the time barely glanced up from his phone. “We’ll go in the limousine dummy.” 1987 MAZDA RX7 COUPE, EXCELLENT INSTALLATION of 350 Chevy engine and auto overdrive transmission, new red paint, good original grey and black interior, runs and drives excellent, stored inside $4,400 (775)217-9952 LOCAL HONEY, JAM AND ORGANIC OLIVE Oil Soaps Just Fabulous Repurposed Furniture is your One-Stop-Shop for Shabby Chic Furniture, Antiques and Rusty Gold. Come see what we do! 1432A Industrial Way, Gardnerville, justfabuloustreasures.com or (775)392-3322

Tahoe/Douglas Elks Annual Flea Market

Friday, September 15th 7am-3pm and Saturday, September 16th 7am-2pm, collecting GOOD quality items at the Lodge on Tuesdays and Thursdays, April 25th until September 7th 9am–12pm, 1227 Kimmerling, Gardnerville Ranchos. For donations pick up call between 9am-6pm, Jim (310)874-4655, Ron (775)2671367 / (775)315-0146 or Neil (775)265-5120 WE HAVE A LARGE SELECTION OF NEW AND Used RV’s and a full parts and service department, Carson City RV, 4550 North Carson Street, North Highway 395 (775)882-8335 WNC HAS AN OPENING FOR A MOTORCYCLE Mechanic – part-time temporary position. If interested contact Linda at linda.whitehill@wnc.edu or (775)445-4268 LICENSED AND BONDED ELECTRICIAN, ADDITIONS, remodels, extra outlets, switches, light fixtures, ceiling fans, trouble shooting and power panel upgrades, etc., 18 years experience, Free Estimates, Senior Discount, Degenspark Electric NV#52647 (775)267-4229

$69 SERVICE CALL, ACADEMY APPLIANCE Service; washers, dryers, refrigerators, ranges, dishwashers, compactors, some areas extra charge, Serving Carson Valley (775)781-4725

Gourd Classes

Learn to decorate gourds at the Silver State Art Festival. Weaving, beading, carving, wood burning and many more techniques. Make a great handcrafted gift. Choose from 19 classes. September 22nd - 24th, Fuji Park, Carson City. Sign up today! www.NevadaGourdSociety.org (775)301-8230 or (619)995-2475 TNT UPHOLSTERY, CUSTOM AUTOS, BOATS, furniture and leather work, free estimates, 1482 Southgate Dr., #106, Gardnerville (775)267-5433 “UNDERCOVER” TONNEAU COVER FITS CHEVY 2500, years 2007-2014, $250 OBO, Text (775)720-1990 OUR BUSINESS IS GROWING! IRRIGATION, water-based feeding, tree trimming, cleanup, hauling, leafing! Pyramid Lawn Service Inc. Residential Lawn Care, Licensed and Bonded, Owned by Ruben Vargas (775)450-1197 or (775)220-8578

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Backseat Driver

A wife was sitting peacefully in her cozy armchair sewing her husband’s socks. Her husband came in to the room and glanced at what she was doing, and started badgering, “HONEY be more careful! PLEASE WATCH WHAT YOU ARE DOING! You don’t want to poke YOUR finger! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU! Don’t look up when YOU’RE SEWING! There you go now slow and steady, nice even stitches.” The wife puts down the needle and thread, looks up at her husband, and says, “What the hell is wrong with you? Do you know how many times I’ve sewn socks before?!” “EXACTLY THE POINT I WAS TRYING TO GET AT”, hollered the husband, “DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I’VE DRIVEN A CAR BEFORE!?” 2 PERSON DELUXE INFRARED SAUNA, MP3 Player AM/FM Model DLX-200, $1,000 OBO, Text (775)720-1990 CLEAR THE CLUTTER! HARRY’S HAULING; pianos, spas, safes or anything else, serving the Carson Valley communities (775)291-6648

Kids Fears

I live a plane ride away from my family, so I was very excited to inform my twin 4 year olds that we were going to go on a plane to see my family. It was after a few days that it struck me that they seemed nervous about it. After talking it over with them I finally figured out the problem. They thought they would each have to fly on a separate plane by themselves. How else would we all fit into one of those tiny planes that fly in the sky? NEED INSURANCE? COMMUNITY SERVICE Solutions offers free help with your application! See your low cost or no cost health insurance options, regardless of immigration status. For more information visit www.csssolutions.org/ Find us on Facebook and Instagram or call Coleville, CA (530)495-2700 HOME CLEANING, RELIABLE, REASONABLE Rates, References, openings available weekly or bimonthly or just one-time, Kathy (775)884-1546 HEXAGON GREEN FELT POKER TABLE, CHIP pockets and eight folding chairs $150 (775)445-0608

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Compulsive Eaters Anonymous

Concerned about your eating or weight? Meetings every Monday and Thursday 5:15pm, Tuesday 10am, 314 N. Division St. Carson City; every Sunday 5:30pm, United Methodist Church, Gardnerville - All are welcome! ceahow.org or Sue at (775)400-0098 APPLIANCE REPAIR, FREE ESTIMATES ON CARRY in with this ad, Appliance repair in your home 50% off service call if we do the repair. Appliance repair senior discounts 20%, Since 1960, Sam’s TV/Appliance (775)885-1939 “A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter@sbcglobal.net or (775)530-8932 or (775)884-3906 COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, davenportlandscape.com or (775)265-1491 or (775)721-8439

The Life of a Dragonfly

My Home: I am most often found near water and usually remain within a few miles of the place where my egg was hatched. What I eat: As a larva, I eat tadpoles or small fish. As an adult, I will eat other small insects, primarily mosquitoes, and I am considered useful for controlling the mosquito population. Dragonflies are carnivorous in both larval and adult stages. What I look like: I can be any color and range in size by species from one to five inches. My antennae are very short. How I am born: I go through three stages of development: egg, naiad (larval) and adult. My egg is laid in water and I typically hatch in two to three weeks. In my larval stage I am called a naiad. I live in the water and use internal gills to breathe. I can live in the water as a naiad for two to three years. When I am ready to become an adult I crawl out of the water and shed my skin. As an adult, I can live for over a year if I migrate away from the cold. Fun Facts: The largest living dragonfly lived over 250 million years ago (before the dinosaurs) and had a wingspan of over three feet! A dragonfly needs warmth to fly and you will notice they will often land when the sun goes behind a cloud. There are 3,600 species of dragonflies in the world.

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” REFRIGERANT R12, 30 POUNDS, $25 PER POUND, Onnie (775)883-8073 ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $399, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994

Reasonable Doubt

Computer Message

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his not so bright neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box. She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!” RENNER’S TRUE VALUE HARDWARE - FOR ALL YOUR hardware, household, automotive and gardening needs and much more now available online at truevalue.com, ship orders to store for free, call Megan or Chris for details (775)465-2217, press 1 for parts, 2289 Hwy. 208, Smith, NV

Scene: A court room in Texas where a person is on trial for murder. There is strong evidence indicating guilt; however, there is no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client is guilty and that it looks like he’ll probably be convicted, resorts to a clever trick. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer says as he looks at his watch. “Within 1 minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this court room,” he says and he looks toward the courtroom door. The jury, somewhat stunned, all look on eagerly. A minute passes. Nothing happens. Finally the lawyer says: ‘Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.” The jury, clearly confused, retires to deliberate. A very few minutes later, the jury returns and a representative pronounces a verdict of guilty. “But how?” inquires the lawyer. “You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door.” Answers the representative: “Oh, we did look. But your client didn’t.” HANDYMAN SERVICE – HOME REPAIRS, FENCING Repair/Replacement, Hauling, Trash Removal, Shrub and Tree Trimming and Removal, and Weed Removal, Free Estimates (775)781-1747 IS WINDOW CLEANING A PAIN? 41 YEARS EXPERIENCE, licensed and insured, Dave Adams Window Cleaning call for an over the phone price! “The science of perfection” (775)241-2318 TWO TIRES P235/60/R15 KUMHO, GOOD TREAD $50; boat ladder, bike, aerator pumps new $50 for all; Pompanette portable fish fighting chair, good condition $100; 151 quart Cushion cooler $100 (775)342-9718

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Madame Moustache.....

I Can Tell!

“Hey Jim!” said Jim’s friend Sam. “If you stick out your tongue I can read your personality.” Jim promptly stuck out his tongue. Sam’s reading was quick in coming, “I can tell from your tongue that you are gullible!” LOVE BAGS? WANT TO HOST A FUN GIRLS night party? Thirty One Gifts has your stylish, personalized totes, purses, bags, jewelry and more! Contact Michele at www.mythirtyone.com/sierranevadabags MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627 MKD CONSTRUCTION, GENERAL ENGINEERING, concrete structures, concrete flat work, grading, roadway improvements, drainage, storm drains, underground utilities (water and sewer), paving, fencing, barrier rail, environmental improvements, excellent reputation and references available, NV#50061 and CA#818376, Mike (775)246-1900 or (775)315-2416

was the pseudonym of Eleanor Dumont (also called Eleonore Alphonsine Dumant), a notorious gambler on the American Western Frontier, especially during the California Gold Rush. Her nickname was due to the appearance of a line of dark hair on her upper lip. She was thought to have been born in France and moved to America as a young woman. She was an accomplished card dealer and made a living from twenty-one and other casino games. Moving from place to place, she was reported to work in Bodie, California; Deadwood, South Dakota; Fort Benton, Montana; Pioche, Nevada; Tombstone, Arizona; and San Francisco, California, among other places. In Nevada City, California, she opened up the gambling parlor named “Vingt-et-un” on Broad Street. Only well-kept men were allowed in, and no women save herself. All the men admired her for her beauty and charm, but she kept them all a nice distance away. She was a very private lady, so she flirted, but only to keep the boys coming. Men came from all around to see the woman dealer - this was rare then - and considered it a privilege. The parlor found much success, so she decided to go into business with Dave Tobin, an experienced gambler. They opened up Dumont’s Place, which was very successful until the gold started to dry up in Nevada City. She left Tobin and Nevada City for brighter things. There was a brief period in Carson City where she bought a ranch and some animals. It was there that she fell in love with Jack McKnight, who conned her out of all of her money. She moved around from city to city, gambling and building up her money again. Her age started to increase, and with that a lot of the beauty that once entranced miners, faded. This is when the famous mustache began to grow. She still drew crowds, though, and had a long-standing reputation for dealing fair. She also added prostitution to her repertoire during these later years - she became a “madame” of a brothel in the 1860s. To promote her business, she would parade her girls around the town in carriages, showing off their beauty in broad daylight, much to the gasping of the ‘proper’ women. Her last stop was Bodie, California. One night while gambling, she misjudged a play and suddenly owed a lot of money. That night she wandered outside of town and was found dead on September 8, 1879, of an overdose of morphine, apparently a suicide. Have something to sell or something to say? Contact Sierra Scoop at 775-782-4520 to place your ad today.

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Total Solar Eclipse 8/21/2017

On Monday, Aug. 21, 2017, a total eclipse will cross the entire country, coast-to-coast, for the first time since 1918. Weather permitting, the entire continent will have the opportunity to view an eclipse as the moon passes in front of the sun, casting a shadow on Earth’s surface. The total solar eclipse begins near Lincoln City, Oregon, at 10:15a.m. PDT (1:15p.m. EDT). Totality ends at 2:48p.m. EDT near Charleston, South Carolina. The partial eclipse will start earlier and end later, but the total eclipse itself will take about one hour and 40 minutes to cross the country. Solar eclipses occur when the moon blocks any part of the sun. Total solar eclipses, however, are only possible on Earth because of a cosmic quirk of geometry: The sun’s diameter is 400 times wider than the moon’s, but it is also 400 times farther away. The result is that the sun and the moon appear to be the same size from our perspective. When they line up just right, the moon can obscure the sun’s entire surface, creating a total solar eclipse. This line-up occurs once every 12 to 18 months. Partial solar eclipses, on the other hand, occur when the alignment is such that the moon blocks only

part of the sun, and these can occur more frequently. During a total eclipse, we have the rare opportunity to look directly at the sun’s vast, striking outer atmosphere, the corona. The corona appears as pearly white rays and streamers, radiating around the lunar disk. The August 2017 eclipse will present this exciting opportunity to millions across the entire country. Eye Safety during Eclipses: One of the easiest ways to safely watch the eclipse is to use a handheld solar viewer or glasses that are specially made for that purpose. Several companies make such glasses and viewers and you can buy many of them online. If you’re planning to take photos of the eclipse or view it through a telescope or binoculars, you’ll need a solar filter (note that a polarizing filter is not good enough). This will protect both your eyes and the lenses in your device. Can I use my smartphone? According to NASA, there’s some debate about whether the bright rays of the sun will damage a smartphone camera. Most photographers agree that brief exposure to the sun should be fine, since smartphone cameras are generally very small and automatically adjust the exposure and other settings to limit how much sunlight will get in. BENSON FEED - WE CARRY A WIDE VARIETY of pet foods and supplies. We also offer quality hay and feed for horses, as well as horse tack, etc. bensonfeed.com, Carson City (775)882-3999 RELOADING COMPONENTS, EQUIPMENT, training, bulk and custom ammunition, Remember, “we are just gun food!” Open Wednesday - Saturday 10am - 6pm and Sunday Noon - 5pm, Bear Bullets, 1506 US Hwy 395 N. Gardnerville, NV (775)3923213

Blame America

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Everybody likes to blame America for everything. What are we, only 241 years old? These other countries are thousands of years old. Not only did they not get it right, but a lot of times they screw up and ask us for help. That’s like a 90-year-old man asking a two-yearold for advice. PIANO AND ORGAN PRIVATE INSTRUCTIONS, Member of Sierra Organ Club, Call Joanne Booth in Sunridge, Carson City (775)267-2429 PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD tollfree.

ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)721-2880 LOBO ROOFING, SINCE 1993, ROOFING INSPECTION Specialist, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Senior Citizen Discounts, Mobile Home, Residential and Commercial, Lic#K0011, NVLic#0070178 (775)342-8969

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Tetanus Shot

The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, “Where are you going?” He replies, “I’m going to the doctor.” She says, “Why, are you sick?” He says, “Nope, I’m going to get me some of that Viagra stuff.” Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat. He says, “Where the heck are you going”? She answers, “I’m going to the doctor, too.” He says, “Why, what do you need?” She says, “If you’re going to start using that rusty old thing, I’m getting a tetanus shot.” THE RUSTIC COUNTRY FURNITURE COMPANY makes furniture from reclaimed lumber and barn wood. Support your local craftsman. Chris (775)782-1130 or (775)552-5424 HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 21 years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453 NOW HIRING! EXPERIENCED PREP AND TRIM painters, Wages depend on experience, Call Kevin (775)450-3305 ELECTRICAL PROBLEMS? MAKE THEM GO away! No job too small! New construction, remodels, service and repair, Pigman Electric, NV#73243, CA#610417 (775)721-9491 “YOUR HOMETOWN HAULER SINCE 1996!” $129 a load plus dump fee, J.R.’s Hauling, Junk and Trash, Carson Valley/Carson City (775)265-6813 WE’LL KEEP YOU IN STITCHES, WE COVER autos, furniture and ATV’s, 47 years experience, Tweeds Upholstery, Gardnerville, tweedsupholstery@yahoo.com or (775)782-5812 DO YOU LOVE YOUR DOG, BUT SOME TIMES don’t like your dog? Don’t worry, Nevada Dog Trainer can help, K.C. Carter (775)781-4742 ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com The Marine’s Father Author Unknown

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. “Your son is here,” she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened. Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man’s limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement. The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man’s hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital – the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients. Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night. Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited. Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her. “Who was that man?” he asked. The nurse was startled, “He was your father,” she answered. “No, he wasn’t,” the Marine replied. “I never saw him before in my life.” “Then why didn’t you say something when I took you to him?” “I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn’t here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed.” IRS PROBLEMS? FEDERAL AND ALL STATES, Past years returns and audit representation, “Service you can trust, quality you can afford.”, Call James A. Farnham, enrolled agent, 20 years experience, Reasonable Rates, Income Tax Services (775)392-0321

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Remain Independent – Remain at Home

The “little things” may become increasingly difficult as we age, but this doesn’t mean it’s time to surrender. We provide affordable, non-medical assistance for seniors at home. Light housekeeping, meal prep, bathing/ grooming, companionship, family relief, and incidental transportation to appointments. A few hours to 24/7 care. Eden Home Care, eden-health.com (775)3922000 MAINTENANCE FREE DECKS AND PATIO COVERS, knowledgeable, honest, professional service! Serving Northern Nevada for 18+ years! Free Quotes! K & C Construction, NV#0079034 (775)6916462 Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, Phone/Fax (775)782-4520

SIX GUN LOCKING CABINET, 2 GUN WALL rack $50; T/C black diamond, black powder 50 caliber, extras $300; XXL waders, new $40; larger spinner fishing gear, new $100; 1950’s four ton jack $50 (775)342-9718 INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX preparation, Federal and all States, prior years, audit representation, 30 years experience, reasonable rates (775)392-0418

TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, clipper blades, clipper repair, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079 GRASS-FED BEEF, ALL LOCALLY GROWN, $4.25 per pound hanging weight, works out to about $6 per pound cut and wrapped (775)721-1574

Happy August Birthdays!

May this birthday be filled with lots of happy hours and also your life with many happy birthdays, that are yet to come. Happy birthday! KENMORE DRYER $125; HOTSY STEAM CLEANER $750; Ford Mustang V6 Engine and Transmission (775)782-2422 LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers, Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Small Paint Jobs, Free Estimates, Senior Discounts, 10 Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585 PORSCHE 911 OR 912 WANTED, NEEDED! IF you have one that is taking up space and you would like to move it to a new home, have cash and a trailer (775)291-6827

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Benefit Concert for KOA Care Camps

KOA Care Camps is for kids with cancer. KOA sends over a 150 kids and their families to a care camp for a week to have fun! These special camps are equipped with all the medical facilities they need Concert Under the Cliffs September 9th, 2017. We will have a great band playing, “Night Hawks” 4pm to 8pm. Concert tickets: $20 a person at entrance or call for tickets: 530-495-2255. We will have hamburgers or hotdogs with chips and drink for sale. There will be lots of great items donated by local businesses and others, to raffle off! Please come join us for this great time and help a great cause! Meadowcliff Resort, 110437 Hwy 395 Coleville, Ca. 96107, 10 Miles south of Topaz Lake! Last year we raised $3,000, in just our park alone, but we hope to beat that this year! KOA raises over $10 million every year! Every dollar goes to the kids! ACME HEATING AND AIR CONDITIONING Specializing in mobile homes; Emergency repairs, Sales, Service, Replacements, all makes and models, Free estimates on replacement furnaces and air conditioners, NV LIC#014612 (775)883-3220, Emergency (775)691-3185

What Do You Want Out of Life?

A teacher asked her class, ‘What do you want out of life?’ A girl in the back row raised her hand and said, ‘All I want out of life is four little animals, just like my Mom always says.’ The teacher asked, ‘Really, and what four little animals would that be?’ The little girl said, ‘A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in my bedroom, and a donkey to pay for all of it. The teacher got a coughing fit and had to leave the room. SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two story houses, based in Minden area, call John (775)267-1800 HANDYMAN FOR ALL YOUR OUTSIDE NEEDS, yard cleanup, power wash, fence repair, minor jobs, free estimates, NV#11376PC (775)246-9899 MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 30 + YEARS experience! Serving Carson Valley and surrounding areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351

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WNC Driver Education

WNC offers a 30 Hour New Driver Education classes throughout the Summer of 2017. In person class fee is $100. All in person class times are 8:30am-4:30pm with a 30-minute lunch break. Also included in our in person classes are guest speakers, when available, - law enforcement, insurance agents, DMV, and a tire representative. Two things to remember all new drivers under the age of 18 MUST take a 30-Hour New Driver Education class to obtain a Nevada Driver’s License and most insurance companies will offer a discount upon successful completion of our nationally recognized Drive Right program. Carson City - August 7-10 and 14-17, 2017. Fallon – August 7-10, 2017. Fernley August 21-24, 2017. WNC continues to offer an on-line 30-Hour New Driver Education course. Cost $90 and students have up to 60 days to complete the course. Register at www. campusce.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4463. JANS TROPICS AND ELEGANT POOCH, 50 YEARS serving Carson! dog and cat grooming, pet supplies and tropical fish, 1000 Corbett St., Carson City (775)882-5659 or (775)882-4928 CHIROPRACTOR IN COLEVILLE, CA, treats a wide range of neurologic and metabolic conditions, nutrition, head to toe analysis, 40 years experience, Dr. Stan Jones (530)577-2225 HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK RESURFACING and repair, interior doors, windows and interior/exterior trim, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235 GOT DIRTY WINDOWS? ABC WINDOW CLEANERS, mirrors, gutter cleaning, re-screening, pressure washing, 30 years experience, NV#20161064184, CA#310507, Gardnerville resident (530)544-0590 BUY DIRECT! DECORATIVE ROCK, SAND, GRAVEL, D.G., Topsoil, Bark and Boulders, yard pick-up or delivery, Cinderlite, Serving all of Northern Nevada, Cinderlite.com or (775)882-4483 RAINBOW VACUUM PLUS CARPET POWERHEAD and Miniature Powerhead attachments, like new $350 OBO 775-782-6414 FIREWOOD, HARDWOOD MIXED, SEASONED, split, $380 a cord, Almond only $420 a cord, Oak $460 a cord, delivery available, Jon (775)246-7186

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Back to School

Back to School can be a very stressful time for children. You can help your students by sharing poems about the school world. A short poem can give children the “words” for feelings they may not be able to express, help them realize they are not alone with their thoughts and fears, and give teachers a starting point to discuss the return to school. Cleaning House in My Brain - I’m cleaning house in my brain, It’s BACK TO SCHOOL time again. Shine windows, paint doors, vacuum rugs, polish floors. Brush away TV shows, picnics, beaches, free time goes. Bring my memory back in gear, sweep the channels, crystal clear. My brain is an amazing tool, and it’s all ready for BACK TO SCHOOL! (by Kalli Dakos) $100 OFF CLUTCH OR TRANSMISSION REPLACEMENT! New, used and rebuilds, up to 3 year, 100,000 mile warranty, Double J Auto, 1475 Southgate Drive, Gardnerville (775)782-8592 HIGH QUALITY CARPET CLEANING! SERVING Carson Valley 20 years! Quality customer service at a reasonable price, Kinney Carpet Care (775)884-2244 or (775)782-6590 ALL AMERICAN OVERHEAD DOOR, NEW INSTALLATION, repairs and service, commercial/ residential, 10% discount for spring repair, Free Estimates and Senior Discount (775)450-2156 PART TIME EMPLOYMENT, NON-PROFIT AGENCY; flexible hours working with seniors. Positions available in Topaz, Coleville, Walker and Bridgeport, California. Call for more information (530)495-2700 1959 PLYMOUTH FURY, TWO DOOR HARD TOP, V8, complete, body restored (775)782-2422 The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers. GUTTER AND GARAGE DOOR INSTALLATION, 10% Senior Discount, Serving Carson Valley and surrounding communities, 20+ years, Absolute Rain Gutters and Garage Doors, NV#0071909 (775)267-4422

MINOLTA BINOCULARTS STANDARD extra wide, 192M at 1000M, multi coated $35 775-7824242 Have something to say or something to sell? Put it in The Scoop today! (775)782-4520 or visit us at 1623 8th Street in Minden. Mail in your ad to Sierra Scoop PO Box 869 Minden, NV 89423 ONE HOUR MASSAGE $30 BY SPRING RANCH Spa, cupping massage available, extra fee for mobile service, Donna/Coleville, CA#63979 (760)616-4091 $200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461 WANTED: NEW AND USED KNIVES WANTED and tobacco pipes; folding, hunting, military knives, Jeff (775)720-2577

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”