August2023ScoopOnlineEdition

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE - Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 17+ Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 MANTIS ELECTRIC TILLER, WEIGHS 20 pounds, includes: lawn dethatcher with fenders, 30 ft. retractable cord and grand stake, used about 12 hours $80 (775)790-6673 PRE ESTATE SALE! SATURDAY, JULY 22ND, 8AM-5pm, many quality decorator items, furniture, dog equipment, way too much to list! 1870 Helman, Gardnerville TWO 10’ KAYAKS USED ONLY ONCE $150 EACH, call for more information; 15 speed giant bicycle, large frame, used one season $450, Ted (775)721-7780 AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION FLOOR JACK $100 (714)981-7625 LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers/Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Free Estimates, 10+ Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585 1992 25’ AIRSTREAM, SLEEPS 4, TOILET AND SHOWER, kitchen and more, good condition, asking $19,500 (775)303-2083

NEW 27” CURVED COMPUTER MONITOR, $250, WILL sell for $125 (775)291-0220 GARAGE SALE, SATURDAY, JULY 22ND 9AM-2PM, watch for signs, antiques, collectibles, household items, tools and more, 2477 Harvest Dr. Carson City EMU FOR SALE, FEMALE, 4-5 YEARS OLD, ASKING $450; Knapheide utility box, 8’Lx80”wx49” inside, 3 cabinet doors on each side, top side bins, run full length, good condition, make offer (775)465-1812 D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)671-0808

Hold on to your “Scoop”

Just a reminder that the “Scoop” will be delivered to your mailboxes EVERY OTHER MONTH, instead of monthly.

Please hold on to your Scoop in case you need to refer to it for services or other before the next issue hits your mailbox. If by chance you need a copy of the Scoop, there is a magazine rack out in front of the office at 1623 8th Street, Minden. You can also visit sierrascoop.com.

Questions, inquiries and ad submittals for the next issue? You can email, sierrascoop@charter.net or call my office at 775-7824520. Thank you so much for your support and business. Lisa Coffron/Publisher Sierra Scoop

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND re-colored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (775)233- 5297 THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848

Happiness is a Journey

Doctor, Doctor!

A man was walking into the hospital for a routine examination the other day. Just as he reached the main entrance, another man, who had just exited the hospital, keeled over on the sidewalk.

The first man ran towards the second and noticed that he was obviously dead. The man rushed into the hospital, grabbed the first doctor that he could find, and screamed, “Doctor, Doctor!!

A man just walked out of the hospital and dropped dead on the sidewalk!! What should I do?”

The doctor thought about this dilemma for a few moments, then suggested, “Spin him around. Make it look like he was coming in.”

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough and we’ll be more content when they are.

After that, we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.

The truth is there’s no better time to be happy than right now.

If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.

It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with... and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting... Until your car or home is paid off. Until you get a new car or home. Until your kids leave the house. Until you go back to school. Until you finish school. Until you lose 10 lbs. Until you gain 10 lbs. Until you get married. Until you get a divorce. Until you have kids. Until you retire. Until summer.

Until spring. Until winter. Until fall. Until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So, work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt and dance like no one’s watching.

CUJO’S HOG HOUSE! V-TWIN Motorcycle repair, Maintenance and accessories, also sales and service of Frankenstein Trike conversions, Factory Trained PHD and ASE Certified, 1430 Industrial Way, Unit C (in the back) (775)782-6051 WANTED! 8 CORDS OF PINION PINE WOOD (775)9011064 AIR COMPRESSOR, ELECTRIC PANCAKE STYLE, AND 20’ hose $100; Hand truck for boxes, furniture $10; pneumatic tires $50; 2 extra 10” pneumatic tires $30; Flat 16”x22” furniture mover, 4 wheels $25; 2 counter height bar stools, black metal w/red faux leather seats $20 for both; photos available, please text (775)762-2210 CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWELRY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred.

Please leave phone number and clear message on my phone.

I return all calls. Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352

September 4th - Labor Day

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Some new vocabulary

arachnoleptic fit, noun: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug, noun: Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out. bozone, noun: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down at any time in the future. cashtration, noun: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. caterpallor, noun: The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating. dopelar effect, noun: (1) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly. (2) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. extraterrestaurant, noun: An eating place where you feel you’ve been abducted and experimented on. Also known as ETry. foreploy, noun: Any misrepresentation or outright lie about yourself that leads to sex.

Grantartica, noun: The cold, isolated place where art companies without funding dwell. intaxication, noun: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. kinstirpation, noun: A painful inability to get rid of relatives who come to visit. lullabuoy, noun: An idea that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from drifting off to sleep.

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WANTED, OLD CARS, COLLECTOR CARS, MUSCLE cars, non running or no title okay, private collector, give me a call (775)315-8265 YARD ENHANCEMENT SERVICES, handyman, fence repair/rebuild, tree and brush trim/removal, defensible space improvement, hauling, dump runs, Serving Gardnerville, Kelly (209)352-0084 C-THRU WINDOW CLEANING, “WINDOW CLEANING at its finest”, Call Casey (775)350-8021

Hot coffee

I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee. I asked the clerk to put some ice cubes into the cup so that I could drink the cool coffee quickly. At the window, there was a delay. Finally, the clerk came to the window looking frustrated, and announced, “I’m having a problem. The ice keeps melting.”

SEMI-RETIRED FINISH CARPENTER Door install/repairs, security screens, deadbolts, shelving, moldings, barn/ wood plank-shiplap-beadboard wall covering and cabinet installation. Call Mark (775)782-6198 or (775)790-5927 WANTED! COMIC BOOKS AND/OR SPORTS CARDS, I can come to you (562)706-4224

Stay of Execution

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An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, ‘What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been?’ ‘Dinner is cold and I’m not reheating it’. And on and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang.

The wife answered and was told that her husband’s client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all.

Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.

As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.

‘They’re not hanging Wright tonight,’ she said. To which he whirled around and screamed, “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMAN, DON’T YOU EVER STOP?” GREEN MASTER LANDSCAPE & MAINTENANCE, residential & commercial, lawn care, sprinkler repairs, cleanups, dethatching, aeration, pruning, tree trimming, 7am 6pm, NV License 20222534179 (775)297-5742

TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079 10% OFF ON ANY SIZE NEW GARAGE DOOR! 50 years experience, offering Doors by CHI, Liftmaster garage door openers, spring or rollers replacement, service to most residential doors: senior, military and cash discounts. Jim Dyer Overhead Door (775)883-7740, para espanol (775)445-9448 ABC WINDOW CLEANERS, SERVING GARDNERVILLE and Minden areas, 35 years experience, NV20161064184, Rick (530)544-0590

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Dead flies in your house suddenly?

Dead flies that you see in your are Cluster flies. Cluster flies are also known as attic flies. They’re related to blow flies, such as the blue bottle flies, green bottle flies, etc. They are sometimes mistaken for the common housefly, but are bigger and move more slowly. Cluster flies also overlap their wings at rest whereas houseflies keep their wings separate. Some say that cluster flies give off an odor that smells like buckwheat honey.

Cluster fly larvae develop inside earthworms living in the ground outside of homes and develop into cocoons before hatching into adult flies. One thing to note is that cluster flies don’t breed indoors. Adults are attracted to the sunny side of homes in the fall, trying to find ways to get inside before winter begins. If you find cluster flies in your house, they’ve chosen your home as a warm place to overwinter before returning outdoors in the spring.

Cluster flies live one to three months, from egg to death. Adult cluster flies lay eggs in cracks in the soil when they emerge in spring. Their eggs hatch within about three to four days and the hatched larvae feed on earthworms for two to three weeks. The larvae will pupate in the soil for 11-14 days before becoming adult flies. They are typically around three to four generations of cluster flies each spring/summer.

Cluster fly larva burrows into the soil and feeds on earthworms. Adult cluster flies feed on flower nectar, plant sap, fruit, flowers, and other types of organic matter.

There are several cluster fly control methods. To remove cluster flies, use a hand vacuum to capture the flies and remove them from your home. You can also use a light trap or flypaper trap.

TEMPORARY HELP WANTED - LOOKING for a person to come into my kitchen (downtown Minden) to make hourly organic juices, meals and special preparations for the Gerson therapy. Paying $15 hour, especially need someone for the weekends and possibly other days (775)782-2427 SUZUKI 700 KING QUAD $4,500 FIRM; TWO YEAR old John Deere riding lawn mower $500; Oxygen/Acetylene torch set up, tanks, cart, etc. $250; bench grinder on heavy metal stand $75; Craftsman buzz box welder $100 (775)4633595

Annual St. Gall Rummage Sale.....

is scheduled for Friday, August 4th , 7am - 5pm and Saturday, August 5th, 7am-3pm. This is our BIG ONE! We have something for everyone. St. Gall, 1343 Centerville Lane, Gardnerville (775)782-2852 DIXIE-NORFOLK COCACOLA VENDING MACHINE Model 180 manufactured 1996 works well $1,000 (775)9010717 RUGER LCR 38 SPECIAL, HOLSTER AND 100 ROUNDS of ammunition $525, call Bill (775)220-0492 CUSTOM INTERNET SERVICE! UP TO 100 MBPS (not satellite, not DSL). Great in rural areas, www.rural-internet. us or call Patrick (775)297-4777

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For prevention, make sure all windows that open have screens.

Seal cracks behind baseboards and electrical outlets, and around windows and nearby door trim. Cluster flies can be a nuisance, but they won’t reproduce indoors and do not carry any diseases VINOTHEQUE CLIMATE-CONTROLLED wine storage.

Holds 440 bottles $500 (775)265-9625 HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? INTERIOR remodels, kitchens, bathrooms and more, Free estimates, 25+ years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453

Happy August/September Birthdays!

A wish for you on your birthday, whatever you ask may you receive, whatever you seek may you find, whatever you wish may it be fulfilled on your birthday and always. Happy birthday! $200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461

USA DRYWALL LLC, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#88940 (775)247-2539 PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free.

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Fishermen Meet

When Fishermen Meet! “Hiyamac” “Lobuddy” “Binearlong?” “Coplours” “Cetchenny?” “Goddafew” “Kindarthay?”

“Bassencarp” “Ennysizetoom?” “Couplapowns” “Hittinhard?”

“Sordalike” “Wachoosen?” “Gobbawurms” “Fishanonaboddum?” “Rydononaboddum” “Whatchadrinkin?” “Jugajimbeam” “Igoddago” “Tubad” “Seeyaroun” “Y ahtakideezy” “Guluck” 1939 FORD PICKUP UNASSEMBLED. CAB, frame, bed, axles, transmission, differential housing and shaft, drums, rebuilt steering box, radiator, grille, and numerous other parts. Asking $2,450 (775)315-9949 STEINWAY PIANO 1940 MODEL K, UPRIGHT Ebony Ivory, very good condition, can be seen at private residence in Virginia City, photos available, asking $4,000 OBO (775)772-4672

Lots of water!

Adult Water Color Class

This is an abstract, experimental workshop with water colors. Three Wednesday classes $75 - August 9th, 16th and 23rd, 9:30am-12:30pm at the Gardnerville Museum and Cultural Center, Hwy. 395, Gardnerville, Call Vicky Kingman at (775)2650320 DECKS! RESURFACE, REPAIR, REPLACED AND trash removal, Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235

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Sven and Ollie

Sven and Ole worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office.

When asked his occupation, Ole answered, “Dress Maker. I make the dresses for the nice ladies.”

The clerk looked up Dress Maker. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

Sven was asked his occupation. “Diesel fitter” he replied.

Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week.

When Ole found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The Clerk explained: “Dress Makers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor.”

“What skill?” yelled Ole. “I make the dresses for the nice ladies, Sven holds them up, looks at ‘em up and says: “Yah, diesel fitter.”

COLLECTOR BUYING OLD CASINO CHIPS, BOTTLES and other old stuff, please call Terry at (775)782-3904 PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081 SWIMMING POOL SERVICE, WEEKLY or Bi-Monthly, Mountain Pool & Spa Licensed and Insured Tahoepoolboy@gmail.com or (530)318-1698

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Shott!

Read this slowly and carefully!

A duel was fought between Alexander Shott and John Nott in June 1849. Nott was shot and Shott was not. In this case it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some said that Nott was not shot.

But Shott says that he shot Nott. It may be that the shot Shott shot, shot Nott, or it may be possible that the shot Shott shot, shot Shott himself. We think, however, that the shot Shott shot, shot not Shott, but Nott. Anyway it is hard to tell which was shot and which was not.

September 16th - Rosh Hashanah

BRIDGESTONE 275/50/R22 ALMOST NEW tires, only 200 miles, asking $1,000 for all OBO (775)720-1627

Come join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church

Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 4pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590 HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)6915119

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

I NEED SOMEONE TO RELEVEL MY MANUFACTURED home in Coleville, CA. If interested, call Phil at (775)552-5106 MIKE MCKINNEY’S MOBILE SMALL ENGINE Repair, ask about the $90 mower special, Call (775)309-7666

Douglas County Republican Women...

will be meeting on August 3rd, 2023 at Valley Christian Fellowship, 1631 Lucerne Avenue, Minden NV at 11:30am. Our speaker will be a member of the Nevada Policy Research Institute.

Please RSVP to Elinor Lacy at: elinoralacy3@comcast.net, or call 415-985-5432. The cost of the lunch and meeting is $15.00 each! Hope to see you on the 3rd!

WANTED: LICENSE PLATES, OLD MOTORCYCLE Helmets, Old Pre-1970’s Levi’s, Musical instruments, Old Watches and Old Lighters, John (775)315-4930 TRUCKING, DUMP TRUCK, BOBCAT/LOADER, Excavation and Water Truck Services, call Wade Draper - EMS Transport at (775)690-1671 PAINTING BY ART - STAINING AND PAINTING done at affordable rates, personal service with 20 years experience, call for free estimate, Gardnerville (775)392-3997

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MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, EADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627 CRAFTSMAN WORKBENCH 24” DEEP X 6’W X 42”H, wood top with particle board to fit $118 (775)392-3099

Supersex

A little old lady was walking up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say, “Supersex!”

She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, “Supersex!”

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, “I’ll take the soup.”

G FORCE 12GA PUMP 20”BARREL 5 SHOT $275. CZ P10M 9mm compact 7+1 shot 2 mags $360. Remington Small pistol/small rifle primers $90/1000. Pistol ammo various calibers. Lee (775)720-6076 5 BY 8 FOOT FRESHLY CLEANED AREA RUG, PASTEL colors, wool $500 (775)901-3334 BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, snow removal, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629

Adopted

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Teacher Debbie’s first graders were discussing a picture of a family.

One little boy in the picture had a different color hair than the other family members.

One child suggested that maybe he was adopted.

A little girl named Katy said, “I know all about adoptions because I was adopted.”

“What does it mean to be adopted?” asked another child.

“It means that you grew in your mommy’s heart instead of her tummy.” said Katy FREE LOVE SEAT AND CHAIR - MATCHING area rugs - used, Gardnerville 408-931-0337 ALESIS ELECTRICONIC KEYBOARD, MODEL Q557/58, piano stand, bench 2 speakers, asking $300 Gardnerville (760)914-1068 “ALWAYS ON DUTY” STURDY HANDRAILS, flat or stepped areas, all metal, free standing, custom built to fit your needs, installation available, maintain independence & a healthy well being! (775)790-6445 PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)2916827

Bus Drivers & Substitute Bus Drivers Wanted

Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for: Contracted School Bus Drivers & Substitute School Bus Drivers, Starting Salary: $17.69/hour or up to 5 years of bus driving experience. Varied Hours up to 40 hours a week.

Contracted positions for permanent routes include; Full benefits; medical, dental, vision & life insurance. Paid sick leave & holidays. NV PERS retirement. Please apply online: dcsd.k12.nv.us/ employment to complete an application.

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441 WANTED! FIRST GENERATION DODGE CUMMINS diesel project 1989-1993, looking for a project to build with son, preferably 4x4 but will look at 2wd, nothing perfect, running or not (775)233-1585

Annual Bonanza Kennel Club AKC All-Breed Dog Shows...

Obedience & Rally Trials, September 29th through October 1st, Fuji Park in Carson City. Scent Match & Specialties for six breeds on Friday. ACT on Saturday. Pee Wee class on Saturday free to children 5-8 years old. All-Breed Shows on Saturday & Sunday. CGC CGCA, & Trick Dog evaluations available Saturday & Sunday. The public is invited to come watch free, please leave your dogs at home! Information is available at www.BonanzaKC.com or 775-887-8822 STUCCO AND DRYWALL, PAINT SERVICES, Interior, Exterior wall repairs, cracks, peels, dents, tape texturing, wall paper, popcorn ceiling, removal and refinish, “paint”, 25 years experience, Free Estimates, Licensed and Bonded, Call Fred (775)507-6315 GOT A SWARM OF HONEY BEES IN YOUR YARD? Call Ritch at (775)315-2696

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G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672 1942 DODGE CARRYALL, 2 NEW FLOOR JACKS, 2 83 Chevy motor on engine stand, gas welder setup, new 03-06 Jeep soft top, 2 firewood racks (775)782-2459 SPECIALIZING IN GARAGES, ADDITIONS, REMODELS, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, Redline Construction Inc. (775)781-3955 PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373 Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides.

These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, (775)782-4520 KENNY AND COLLEEN’S STUMP GRINDING services, K&C stump grinding services, Call (917)362-3181 or (410)739-4052

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ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $599, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $129, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994 2014 NAVION IQ 24V MERCEDES DIESEL 42,433 miles: Blue DEF Modification, Generator, slide, inverter, heat pump, heated tanks New $119,643, reduced to $70,000, Gardnerville (406)431-9075

Family...

isn’t defined only by last names or by blood; it’s defined by commitment and by love. It means showing up when they need it most. It means having each other’s backs. It means choosing to love each other even on those days when you struggle to like each other. It means never giving up on each other. (D. Willis) MAKE OFFER! ACE HARDWARE STYLE popcorn machine; glass top metal coffee table and 2 end tables, make offer; 5 drawer file cabinet, make offer (408)270-4028 HANDYMAN SERVICES RENOVENTURES, LLC, Serving Carson Valley and beyond - No job too small, Emergency and Weekend work, Licensed & Insured (410)365-8268 SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two story houses, based in Minden area, call John (831)801-0003

HANDYMAN - SMALL CONCRETE WORK, REPAIRS and some overlays, Call Chuck (559)426-9984

Bad news, terrible news

This guy was sitting in his attorney’s office. His lawyer says, “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” “Give me the bad news first,” he says.

“Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars,” his lawyer informs him.

“That’s the bad news?” asks the man incredulously. “I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.”

“The terrible news is that it’s of you and your secretary.”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” PART TIME EMPLOYMENT, NON-PROFIT AGENCY; flexible hours working with seniors. Positions available in Topaz, Coleville, Walker and Bridgeport, California. Call for more information (530)495-2700

Who does and doesn’t allow their dog to bed down with them?

EXPERIENCED CARETAKER LOOKING FOR A longterm, live-in situation. Great with horses, dogs, cats & gardens. Dependable, hard worker with excellent references 530-320-0626

Please Lord

A guy is late for an important meeting. But he can’t find a place to park. In desperation, he begins to pray: “Please Lord, if you help me find a parking stall right now, I promise to go to church every Sunday and never drink vodka again!”

A moment later, he sees a beautiful empty spot right next to the entrance.“Never mind. Found one!”

LAWN CARE SERVICE! MOWING, TRIMMING, Pruning, sprinkler repair and general yard cleanup, over 10 years experience, Andres (775)400-4742 1984 FORESTRY CREW BUS INTERNATIONAL 6.9 Diesel 90,000 miles runs great 11x22.5 front tires 10x22.5 rears $8,000 (775)901-0717 COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, davenportlandscape.com or (775)265-1491 or (775)721-8439 “The best proof of love is trust.”

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A recent online survey called Should Dogs Sleep On Your Bed? offered a good deal of data on who allows their dog to sleep on their bed and why or why not. There are some interesting surprises in this study. Here are some of their results.

76 percent of the 1,000 people questioned allowed their dog to sleep with them. Among those who don’t allow their dog to sleep with them, 26 percent feel guilty about their decision but 57 percent still keep their pets close by, allowing them to sleep in the bedroom. 56 percent of married pet owners say they sleep the best when they share their bed with both their dog and their human partner. Nearly a third of married pet owners say they and their bedmates disagree on whether or not to allow the pet to sleep on the bed at night. 33 percent of married pet owners say they sleep the best when they share their bed with only their dog. Single dog owners (80 percent) are slightly more likely to sleep with their dog while slightly fewer married dog owners (73 percent) allow it.

Main reasons people sleep with their dog. Reduces feelings of stress: 67 percent, Lessens feelings of anxiety: 60 percent, Reduces feelings of loneliness: 59 percent, Their pet feels more comfortable: 55 percent, They feel safer at night: 53 percent, Reduces feelings of depression: 51 percent, Fosters stronger doghuman bonds: 51 percent.

There were few differences when comparing people who sleep alone and those who share their beds.

Reasons why dogs aren’t allowed to sleep with their human(s) - Worries about germs and cleanliness: 45 percent, Concerns about fleas and ticks: 40 percent, Pet is antsy and moves around: 29 percent, Concerns about allergies: 21 percent, Pet pees or poops in bed: 18 percent, Pet is too noisy: 15 percent. (Psychology Today) GARAGE WORK BENCH, 5’ AND IN ORIGINAL carton, ideal for garage, vise and 4 drawers, needs assembly, Harbor Freight price $160, sell for $95 (530)208-8248 WE’RE THE SOLUTION TO YOUR CLUTTER problems.

Put a roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove, ask us about out loading assistance available (775)297-2320

VFW ATTENTION

VFW Breakfast for 2023 - Jan. to Oct. - 8:00AM to 9:30AM Topaz VFW Post 3630 is again hosting a monthly breakfast at the TRE Community Center 3939 Carter Way on the 4th Saturday of each month. The breakfast is to rally support for TRE Veterans by bringing together families and friends for a fun event.

The VFW Post 3630 has a regular meeting at 4:00PM on the 3rd Wednesday every month. New members are always welcome.

TEAK ROLLTOP DESK AND CHAIR, HANDCRAFTED, very special $500 OBO, can text photos, Linda/Gardnerville (775)419-8307

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” STAND-UP WALKER WITH SEAT $700 OBO; TRANSPORT Wheelchair $10; One box baseball cards Topps Fleer make offer; Ankle Weights $15; Quilt Rack 3-bar new $30; See by appointment, cash only (775)782-4648 TIRES WANTED! 8.25X 20 AND 10X20, ALSO NEED tire machine, and truck Tarps (775)901-0717

Senior Wedding

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Devon, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way, they pass a pharmacy.

Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter, “Are you the owner?” The Pharmacist answers, “Yes.” Jacob: “We’re about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?” Pharmacist: “Of course we do.” Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism?” Pharmacist: “Definitely.” Jacob: “Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer’s?” Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety. The works.” Jacob: “What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson’s disease?” Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”

Jacob: “Everything for heartburn and indigestion?” Pharmacist: “We sure do.” Jacob: “You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?” Pharmacist: “All speeds and sizes.”

Jacob: “In that case, we’d like to use this store for our wedding presents list.”

CHÉ WHITE BOOKKEEPING & PAYROLL Services, Specializing in Small Business, Corporation, Not-for-Profit, and Personal Finance. 25+ years experience. Located in Carson Valley, CheWhiteBooks@gmail.com or (844)343-0343 THINKING OF CALLING CASH PAID FOR Old Costume Jewelry? This may be a good time to call. Often times, callers tell me they have seen my ad for a long time. I have advertised for over eighteen years in the Sierra Scoop. Looking forward to meeting you. message or text Joanne at (775)4302352 PLAYBOY MAGAZINES IN GREAT CONDITION, 1970’s-2000’s 40th and 50th Year Anniversary Special Editions too, for collectors only, make offer, Carson City (408)507-5782

MANUELS LANDSCAPING - PAVERS, ROCK, landscaping, retaining walls, fire pits, outdoor water feature designs, fences, turf, sod, all for a great price, you’ll be happy, Call (775)291-7499 LAKESHORE AMMUNITION IS YOUR LOCAL source for everything you need for firearms training and self defense! Call us at (208)340-6097 or visit us on our website at lakeshoreammunition.com DANISH MODERN BEECHWOOD DINING Table with 4 chairs and 2 leaves. Finish is lightly scratched on leaves $200, Call (775)265-9625 NEED ENCLOSED STORAGE? 40X8 (320 SQ FT) available for rent (775)265-4766 “A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25+ years experience, Senior Discounts! KenJeter, kenjeter65@ gmail.com or (775)530-8932 RUSSELL’S TREE SERVICE, #1 ARTISTRY IN TREE Care; Shaping, Balancing, Removals, Stump Grinding, Fruit Trees, Hedges, Ornamental Pruning, Serving your area, Licensed/Insured (775)685-0528 “There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”

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A Dieter’s Psalm

Strict is my diet. I must not want. It maketh me to lie down at night hungry. It leadeth me past the confectioners. It trieth my willpower. It leadeth me in the paths of alteration for my figure’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the aisles of the pastry department, I will buy no sweet rolls for they are fattening.

The cakes and the pies, they tempt me. Before me is a table set with green beans and lettuce. I filleth my stomach with liquids; my day’s quota runneth over.

Surely calorie and weight charts will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the fear of scales forever.

HYDRAULIC CYLINDER REPAIR AND REBUILD, All makes models and year, Commercial Equipment, Tractors, Fork Lifts, Log splitters, Farm equipment, Dump Trucks and Trailers, Boats and RVs, Welding and Machining, Ramco Fabrication, shawn@ramcofab.com or (775)267-7358 PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@ aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065

September 23rd - First Day of Fall

COMPUTER PROBLEMS? DO YOU NEED help connecting your gadgets? On-site computer repair and network configurations, Honest and Affordable, justin.nelson@goowy. com (775)450-3735 YARDISTRY GAZEBO MOSQUITO SCREEN, 12’ X 12’, also fits 12’ X 14’ gazebo, new, still in unopened box, asking $380 (775)461-0675 HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30+ years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick–up and delivery, californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521 AFFORDABLE NEVADA CCW CLASSES $90, tac-aimfirearmsinstruction.com or (775)360-5214

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

TWO MAYTAG WASHERS AND RINSE TUB, 40’S MODEL, works $50; 50’s model works, excellent condition $150, rinse tub $100, also 2 claw foot tubs $50 each, Al (775)465-2173

HANDYMAN PROS (NOT LICENSED) - RAPID RESPONSE, ALL Phases of Construction, New, Repair, Roofs, Bath, Kitchen, Painting, Custom, Carpentry, Landscaping, Concrete, minor Plumbing and Electrical, Tile, Granite & more, Professionally Designed Blue Prints (775)400-6822

FOR RENT - RV SPACES AVAILABLE AT IGGY and Squiggys Junction Bar, adult trailer park, no pets, large shady spaces $575 per month (775)901-1064

AERATING & DETHATCHING $300 MOST Yards, Sprinkler Repair, Tree & Juniper Removal, Excavating, Earth, Turf & Timber Landscape Maintenance (775)450-1955

Custodian Job Opening

Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for Custodians; various positions & sites (40 hours per week) Starting Salary: $18.22/hour or up to 5 years of experience; Full benefits; medical, dental, vision & life insurance. Paid sick leave, vacation & holidays. NV PERS retirement..

HANDYMAN - RETIRED FROM CONSTRUCTION, $35 per hour, discounts to seniors and military, free estimates and advice, Call JD (775)781-1531 WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, bensonfeed.com, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)882-3999 “Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It’s the best part of the day.

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Bunch of Cows!

Two west country yokels were on the train heading homewards through Somerset, England when one of them noticed some cows.

‘What a lovely bunch of cows.’ he remarked. ‘Not a bunch, herd,’ his mate replied.

‘Heard of what?’ ‘Herd of cows.’ ‘Of course I’ve heard of cows.’ ‘No, a cow herd.’ ‘What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow.’

STANDARD FLAG GRAVEL, R&J TRUCKING delivers, 25 years experience, call Roger (775)233-7337 HANDYMAN SERVICE ALL PHASES OF SHEETROCK, tape mud texture paint, flooring installation, fences minor construction jobs, Call Scot (760)709-1886 SEWING MACHINE: 2007 JUKI MODEL HZL-35Z. Hardly used. Needs service and adjusting $25 775-720-7500

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The Knob

A lady in her late 40’s went to a plastic surgeon for a face lift.

The doctor told her of a new procedure called “The Knob.” This small knob is planted on the back of a woman’s head and can be turned to tighten up the skin to produce the effect of a brand new facelift forever. Of course, the woman wanted “The Knob.”

Fifteen years later the woman went back to the surgeon with 2 problems. “All these years everything had been working just fine. I’ve had to turn the knob on lots of occasions and I’ve loved the results. But now I’ve developed two annoying problems.

First of all, I’ve got these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won’t get rid of them.”

The doctor looked at her and said, “Those aren’t bags, those are your breasts.”

She replied, “Well, I guess that explains the goatee.”

CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred.

I drive to you. Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352 CCW CLASSES AUGUST 12 AND SEPTEMBER 30 at the Dayton Community Center. Register/more info at battlebornccw.com or call (775)685-6621 “You may not be able to change a situation, but with humor you can change your attitude about it.”

HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 1950-60’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)291-6827

Without Glasses!

Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses.

“You know, honey,” I said sweetly, “Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married.” “Honey,” he replied with a grin, “Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!”

ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)2654766 The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers.

MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Tomboy - Tomgirl - Femboy Sissy - Wimp - Nerd

Tomboys are often seen as girls who reject traditional gender roles and instead embrace activities and behaviors that are typically associated with boys. This can include playing sports, climbing trees, or engaging in other physical activities. Tomboys may also prefer to wear clothing that is more masculine, such as baggy jeans and t-shirts or baseball caps.

The opposite of a tomboy. A boy who likes to do stuff that are ‘’feminine’’ Instead of playing sports and getting dirty, he likes to go shopping at the mall and try on clothes that can be girly.

He always wears the latest fashion trends and sometimes care what other people think of him. He also cares about his physical appearance and his hair. Tomgirls hang out with mostly girls and lack physical strength.

The word femboy emerged before the 1990s. It began as a derogatory term for a man who didn’t adhere to traditional standards of masculinity. Fem is a slang shortening of feminine, often with a pejorative tone, and boy refers to a young man, here used in a belittling manner. Together, femboy doubles down on the insults. Comparable insults include sissy or wimp.

Sissy is a derogatory name for someone, especially a man or boy, who seems weak or cowardly, or who acts in a stereotypically feminine way.

Wimp is defined as a person who is not strong, brave, or confident: Over the past two decades, the conventional definition of ‘nerd’ has evolved into something unrecognizable from thirty years ago. Back then, being called a nerd was supposedly an insult. That’s where you get your stereotype of the nerd with pocket protectors, suspenders, and large-rimmed glasses. Nerds were synonymous with brainiacs, and regarded as the antithesis to jocks. Today, being a nerd is a badge of pride, and it’s one that anybody can wear. You don’t have to be super smart, or love video games, or read comic books, or paint miniatures to be a nerd. You can be nerdy about literally ANYTHING. WANTED!! OLD METAL SEWING MACHINE tables, old park benches, any shape or style, Carson City (408)270-4028 WORLD WAR II MEMORABILIA GERMAN HELMET, Chinese Collectible rifle, call for details. Float tube, Creek Co. 420 Ultralight with extras $145 OBO, Reid (775)7209273 BEAUTIFUL MINI/MEDIUM F1B LABRADOODLES, parents genetically tested. We raise our puppies in our home and are part of our family from the first day they are born.

We practice ENS (Early Neurological Stimulation). The puppies will have their well puppy check-up, 1st vaccine, and dewormed, Call or text (775)294-2286 ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35+ years experience (530)721-3136 1997 BMW K1100LT SILVER AND BLACK Motorcycle.

40,400 miles. Two side and one back storage compartments.

One gas tank bag, Asking $5,875 (775)315-9949

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Jim and Janet, Sunridge/Carson City (415)678-0504 “Rise above the storm, & you will find the sunshine.”

Mom and Dad on your 67th Wedding Anniversary

One by one each year flew by, since you both said “I do”....

67 years of memories shared by the two of you. From big events and holidays, to simple daily pleasure. Some tearful times along life’s way, some joys that can’t be measured.... One by one each year now gone, but still they’re yours forever.... Each and every morning of 67 years together. Happy August 25th Anniversary, Love you always, Lisa HOT TUB SERVICE, WEEKLY AND BI WEEKLY service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, hot tub cover sales, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)267-2490 DO YOU NEED TO REPLACE YOUR WORN out concrete driveway, patio, or walkway? We also install new patios, driveways, monolithic garage slabs, retaining walls, footings, and stemwalls. K&C Construction, NV LIC # 79034, 79237, 81038, 86464. To get a free quote call at (775)691-6462 98 NASH 5TH WHEEL 28.5, NEW BED, TOILET, blinds $7,000; antique dresser, 4 drawers with mirror $60; property in Coleville 3.30 acre, corner lot make offer; new women’s Tour Edge Golf clubs with bag $200, paid $500 (775)560-6496

Behold, I come quickly

The new preacher had just begun his sermon. He was a little nervous, and about ten minutes into the sermon his mind went blank. After a brief second of complete panic, he remembered what they had taught him in seminary about situations like this: repeat the last point. His teacher assured him this would help him remember what was supposed to come next. So he gave it a try.

“Behold, I come quickly,” he said. Still his mind was blank.

He tried again. “Behold, I come quickly.” Still nothing. He tried one more time -- speaking and gesturing with such force that he fell forward, knocking the pulpit to one side, tripping over the flower pot, and falling into the lap of a little old lady in the front row. The young preacher apologized profusely. “That’s all right, young man,” said the little old lady. “It was my fault. I should have gotten out of the way. You told me three times you were coming!”

FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)782-8776 BRIDGESTONE 275/50/R22 ALMOST NEW tires, only 200 miles, asking $1,000 for all OBO (775)720-1627 PIANO, GUITAR, COMPOSITION LESSONS. ALL LEVELS and ages. Experienced teachers with music degrees.

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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