Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
1
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
2
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE - Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 14 Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 ONE TIME SALE, FROM OUR CLOSETS TO YOURS, Friday and Saturday, April 15th and 16th, 8am-4pm, rain or shine, clothes, shoes, accessories, gently used, for all seasons, many designer labels, mostly for women, some men, no children, 121 Cogorno Way, Carson City JOHN DEERE AND NEW HOLLAND TRACTORS and Mowers, Visit us at www.rennerequipment.com or call for prices (775)465-2217 BLACKSMITH TOOLS, ANVILS (2) at 150 pounds and 60 pounds, forge with blower, forging block, post vice, stationary vice, tongs, fullers, hammer heads, iron bender, etc. $2,200 OBO (775)783-8387 FULL SERVICE SALON IN CARSON CITY FOR sale or trade, great location, low rent, well established, great opportunity, in great condition, for information and appointment, please call (775)220-7296 BIRD DOG TRAINER! APPROXIMATELY 30 WHITE homing pigeons $5 each or less if you take all, Walt (530)4951869
PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, Inside or Out, Fences (775)901-1912 WOOD FRAMED DRESSER MIRROR, APPROXIMATELY 50”Hx30”W, good condition $150 OBO, Gardnerville (310)283-7675 SMALL HOME BUILDING PRODUCTS MANUFACTURING business for sale, sales include all inventory on hand and current customer base, owner must retire due to health, for more information (775)267-0227 DAYBED WITH TRUNDLE, WHITE IRON WITH brass trim, very clean, good condition, sleeps 2, includes coverlet, dust ruffle and pillow shams $225 OBO (775)309-3923 WE AIM TO PLEASE! SPECIAL ORDERS NO PROBLEM, 24 years in business, honest, trust worthy! Nevada Gun Exchange, 1819 North Carson St., Carson City (775)884-4867 WILL PAY CASH FOR 9HP OR 10HP, 4 CYCLE outboard motor, leave message (775)266-4972 LPN AVAILABLE TO DO PRIVATE CAREGIVING, serving Douglas County, Carson City, Dayton! 40 years experience, Call Katie (775)841-5302
3
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
The Chicken is Crossin’ the Road Again
DONALD TRUMP: We will build a big wall to keep the chickens from crossing the road, and we will make the chickens pay for it. JOHN KERRY: We will trust the chicken to tell us whether it crossed the road or not. CHRIS CHRISTIE: We need to water board that chicken to find out why it crossed the road. RAND PAUL: It’s none of our business why the chicken crossed the road. NANCY PELOSI: We will have to wait until the chicken crosses the road to see what it says. CARLY FIORINA: Hillary Clinton lied about why the chicken crossed the road. BRIAN WILLIAMS: I crossed the road with the chicken. BEN CARSON: This isn’t brain surgery. BERNIE SANDERS: That rich Chicken has been crossing that road for years and needs to pay a toll. JEB BUSH: I’ll get Mom to help the chicken cross the road. MARCO RUBIO: The Chicken is only crossing the road because Obama wants him to. Really, Obama wants him to. Obama wants him to. JOHN KASICH: The Chicken crosses the road because his father was a Mailman just like mine. Did you know my father was a Mailman? SARAH PALIN: Because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick! HILLARY CLINTON: What difference, at this point, does it make why the chicken crossed the road? GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. OPRAH: Well, I
4
understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. I’m going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so he can just drive across the road. ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? AL GORE: I invented the chicken. BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs, they can keep their eggs. Besides, he didn’t lay the Egg by himself. HANDYMAN, EXPERIENCED IN MOST HOME Improvements or Repairs, Quality Workmanship, Insured, NV#20101037419 (775)781-5531 or (775)315-5179 ONE HOUR SIGNATURE FACE LIFT FACIAL, 1 hour aroma balance treatment, April special only $55 per service, gift certificates available. Located behind Bank of America, Minden, Massage/Jennifer (775)291-1286, Facial/ Karla(775)315-0673 1993 CAMARO PROJECT 383 STROKER short block, needs completing and mounting, no transmission, additional performance parts for the engine, It’s 5.7L LT1/LT4 383 Stroker engine and Airflow Research, SBC 195cc LT street L98 Heads, flywheel and more, all can also be sold separately, phone or text is fine at any time (775)309-7900
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
5
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Old Wind Up Watches and Watch Parts, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Joanne, please leave clear message (775)465-9422 MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, CURBING, Granite and Concrete, All Colors Available, Quality Work (775)720-1627 ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174 GET ER’ DONE CLEANING SERVICES – RESIDENTIAL and Commercial, Licensed and insured, 10+ years serving Carson Valley, Cristy (775)721-1500
We Work by Results!
WNC Motorcycle Rider Course
Motorcycle season is upon us. Learn to ride a motorcycle in 2½ days. WNC uses the Motorcycle Safety Foundation curriculum and teaches the Basic Rider Course (BRC) and the Advanced Rider Course (ARC. The BRC is geared towards new riders and those with experience who need want a refresher course. The BRC is offered every weekend from April through the 1st weekend of November, excluding legal holiday weekends. WNC provides the training motorcycle 250 CC and a helmet. Cost $160. The ARC is a one day class held on a Saturday once a month. Students must hold a Class M endorsement, bring their street legal, insured and registered motorcycle and be dressed to ride. The ARC class is an excellent class for riders – learn smother throttle control, risk management, better tire traction, leaning and riding in pairs. Enjoy the feeling of riding a motorcycle while enjoying the open road and lovely weather. Check class descriptions, dates, cost and registration on line at www.campusece.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4268. GENEALOGY - THOROUGH RESEARCH OF FAMILY histories. A unique gift for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or yourself! www.PersonalPedigree.com or Lisa (775)450-3175 PINE CABINET 8’HX4’W 4-DOORS, 1940-1970’s Popular Science, Popular Mechanic, Woodworking, Steam, Hot Rods, National Geo’s, more-some good shape, some not, take all $150 (775)783-8387
6
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, “Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?” The guy replies, “I’m Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City.” Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxidriver, “Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it’s the minister’s turn. He stands erect and booms out, “I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary’s for the last forty-three years.” Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, “Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” “Just a minute,” says the minister. “That man was a taxi-driver and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?” “Up here, we work by results,” says Saint Peter. “While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed.” ELECTRICAL PROBLEMS? MAKE THEM GO away! No job too small! New construction, remodels, service and repair, Pigman Electric, NV#73243, CA#610417 (775)7219491 PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, faux and fine finishes, free estimates, Winter discount through April, Powers Painting, NV#68615, powerspainting.org or (775)781-5531 or (775)315-5179 HIGH DESERT BARNS, CUSTOM STEEL BUILDINGS, Horse Shelters, Quality Barns built with 25 years of experience, highdesertbarns.com or (775)246-3004 RETIRED ELECTRICIAN, TO MY LOYAL CLIENTS; Recovering from shoulder surgery but will return. Meanwhile, please call with questions, John (775)781-7606
April 1st- Happy April Fool’s Day!
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
It Only Went Click
A woman was called in front of a Texas grand jury for possible manslaughter charges after she shot a mugger 6 times in the back as he was running away with her purse. She had her hand on her gun when he grabbed the purse, and she was left with the revolver in her hand. When asked by the grand jury why she shot the man 6 times in the back as he was running away she replied under oath: “Because when I pulled the trigger the 7th time it only went click.” She was acquitted of all charges......That’s the way it is in Texas! TWO NEW KITCHEN APPLIANCES, NEW KITCHENAID mixer with beater paddle, whisk, dough hook and pour protector and a New Jack LaLanne juicer, both for $250 (775)461-0241 ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, All Water Sports, Furnished Cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at eaglelakeheritage.com or (800)459-5179 GOT DIRTY WINDOWS? ABC WINDOW CLEANERS, Mirrors, Gutters, Re-screening, Pressure Washing, 30 Years Experience, Serving Gardnerville Area, NV#20161064184, CA#310507 (530)544-0590
The 27th Annual Kids’ Fishing Derby
This year’s derby will be held June 3rd and 4th, 2016 at Lampe Park in Gardnerville; hosting all children ages 3-12. Tickets to attend this volunteer run event are free; however, you must pre-register to receive a free session ticket. Derby hats, tshirts and other resale items will be available for purchase. Raffle tickets are available for $1 each or 6 for $5. Grand prizes this year include two kids’ quads and a grill donated by AJ Stoves in Gardnerville. Registration forms, for mail-in only, are available at the Douglas County Parks and Recreation Department; located on Waterloo Lane in Gardnerville. Registration and volunteer signups will begin on April 1st and will continue every Saturday through the month of May from 10am-1pm at the Gardnerville Walgreens. For further information, please contact Heather Gertsch (775)684-9018, Tiffany Ellis (DouglasKFDMedia@gmail.com) or Chellae Dumas (KFDVolunteers@aol.com) WANNA BE FENCED? CHAIN LINK, ORNAMENTAL Iron and Wood, Post Hole Drilling, Dig and Set Posts, Redwood Decking and Tennis Courts, Serving Carson Valley since 1978, Finest Fence, NV#25928A (775)883-1117 SHOWER/BATHTUB ENCLOSURES STARTING at $4,995, done with Sentrel Bath Systems, granite stone or marble look material. Figueroa’s Construction for your bathroom and kitchen/home improvements, Free Estimates, NV#58909, CA#678260 (775)782-3225
7
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
BISTRO TABLE, CAST IRON PEDESTAL, 30” DIAMETER, includes 3 bentwood chairs with leather seats, light finish, very good condition $175 OBO (775)309-3923 SUTRO LANDSCAPING, ONE CALL DOES IT all; lawn care, aerating and thatching, sprinkler systems, sod installation and planting, clean-ups and much more, Free Estimates, Operated by owner, NV#50048 (775)246-4871 or (775)2913095 BUY DIRECT! DECORATIVE ROCK, SAND, GRAVEL, D.G., Topsoil, Bark and Boulders, yard pick-up or delivery, Cinderlite, Serving all of Northern Nevada, Cinderlite.com or (775)882-4483
8
“RIGHT NOW,” YOUR ONE STOP SHOP FOR All Your Property Needs, move-out or move in cleaning many minor repairs, specializing in A to Z Estate Properties, Tracy (775)309-3036 ALL AMERICAN OVERHEAD DOOR, NEW INSTALLATION, Repairs and Service, Commercial/Residential, 10% Discount for Spring Repair, Free Estimates and Senior Discount (775)450-2156 ASPHALT AND CONCRETE DRIVEWAYS, GRADING and Utility Work in the Carson Valley, 30 years in business, Free Estimates, BR Constructors, NV#28567/NV#31076 (775)782-4477 or (775)690-8593
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
Price of a US Stamp is Set to Fall in April
For the first time since Woodrow Wilson was president, the price of a US postage stamp is set to decrease in April. According to the US Postal Service, the price of a US-bound first class stamp will decrease 2 cents - to 47 from 49 cents -starting April 10. Stamp prices last declined in 1919 when the price of a first class stamp fell to 2 cents from 3 cents. This expected decrease stems from an act of Congress passed in 2013 that allowed the USPS to add a 4.3% surcharge in order to stem the massive losses for the Service because of the Great Recession. In a release from the USPS, the group said the act expires when the surcharges had accounted for $4.6 billion in revenue, which will happen April 10th. At that time, stamps will revert back to their inflation-pegged pricing, dropping the price to 47 cents for a first class stamp and sticking the USPS with an additional $2 billion in annual losses.
MARY’S CAT CARE, I CLEAN CAT BOXES, FEED cats, take cats to the vet, whatever cat care you desire, Flexible daily/weekly rates, Gardnerville (775)782-6131 1981 TOYOTA 4X4 PICKUP WITH 22R ENGINE mostly still original, needs TLC however 35 years old and still runs, tough truck $5,500 OBO (775)309-7900 COMPLETE LAWNCARE, PAVERS, RETAINING Walls and More! 30 years in Carson Valley, Senior Discounts and Free Estimates, Nevada Lawns (775)450-2156 ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)2654766 G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, Prune, Fertilize, Aerate, Sprinklers, Spring Clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672
COMPLETE LANDSCAPE, YARD MAINTENANCE and lawn care, hauling services, pruning, fences, clean-ups, small paint jobs, reasonable rates, 14+ years experience, NV#00028431 (775)291-1556
MISCELLANEOUS STEEL, TWO W27x94#x 12½’ BEAMS $275 each; 3 pieces, standard pipe, 6”x78”L $30 each (775)267-1877
MEMORIAL ESTATE SALE, SATURDAY AND Sunday, May 28th and 29th, 8am-5pm, hand tools, furniture shelves, work benches and more, more details to come in the May issue.
$100 OFF CLUTCH OR TRANSMISSION REPLACEMENT! New, used and rebuilds, up to 3 year, 100,000 mile warranty, Double J Auto, 1475 Southgate Drive, Gardnerville (775)782-8592
9
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Our Personal Search Engine
Remain Independent – Remain at Home
The “little things” may become increasingly difficult as we age, but this doesn’t mean it’s time to surrender. We provide affordable, non-medical assistance for seniors at home. Light housekeeping, meal prep, bathing/grooming, companionship, family relief, and incidental transportation to appointments. A few hours to 24/7 care. No Place Like Home Senior Care, NvNoPlaceLikeHome.com or (775)392-2000 CUSTOM LEATHER WORK, AUTO’S, BOAT’S and Furniture, come in for a free estimate, TNT Upholstery, 1482 Southgate Dr., #106, Gardnerville (775)267-5433 MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 35 years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919 MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 30 YEARS Experience! Serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351 POLARIS 800RMK SNOWMOBILE, ONLY 1,000 miles, includes carrying rack, storage shed and custom ramp, paid $8,300, sell $4,300 (775)266-4972 LARRY’S TRACTOR SERVICE, CLEANUP WORK, rototilling, backhoe, box scraper, dump trailer, rake, hole drilling, affordable rates (775)267-2245 or (775)690-4632
10
I first met Mary Emma DeRemer more than 30 years ago, when she was the librarian at the Dimmick Memorial Library here in Jim Thorpe. In those pre-digital days, finding a book was like embarking on a safari. Mary Emma didn’t always use the Dewey Decimal System. She had what I called the DeRemer Decimal System, largely in her head. Many of the file cards in the drawers bore cryptic penciled notes that inevitably directed you to her desk. Behind her were shelves stacked with leather-bound ledgers that she would have to consult before your book could be found. I now realize this convoluted setup gave her a chance to chat with the patrons. One afternoon I was looking for the Robert W. Service poem “The Shooting of Dan McGrew,” the old Yukon ¬classic that begins: “A bunch of the boys were whooping it up in the Malamute saloon….” The card catalog led me, of course, to Mary Emma, who seemed genuinely excited to track down this chestnut. After making small talk, she launched with gritty determination on her odyssey through the ledgers. “Oh, Mr. Moran,” she sighed at last. “I’m afraid we lost that book in the fire of 1979.” “I’m sorry,” I replied. “Well, thanks for looking.” As I was about to leave, she called out. “Mr. Moran, I just remembered: Mrs. Thiel borrowed that book about 10 years ago. She told me she liked that poem so much that she memorized it. Why don’t I call her and have her recite it?” I was dumbfounded and had to stop myself from saying, “Oh, don’t bother,” because I really wanted to savor this small-town moment. Besides, I had no choice. Mary Emma was already dialing the number, which she knew by heart. I can still see her using one of those old phone dialer pencils with a metal knob instead of an eraser. “Oh, hello? Mrs. Thiel? This is Mary Emma DeRemer of the Dimmick Memorial Library,” she announced grandly. I wondered what other library Mrs. Thiel might have been patronizing to deserve such a precise clarification. “Do you remember the time you borrowed the book with ‘The Shooting of Dan McGrew’ in it?” Mary Emma listened, then frowned. “Oh, I know, Mrs. Thiel. You returned it on time. I’m not calling about that. But we have a gentleman here who is interested in the poem. Would you be so kind as to recite it for him?” Mary Emma paused for the answer and then frowned again. “Well, those things happen.” She covered the receiver and whispered to me, “She forgot it.” The next day I stopped by again, and Mary Emma was squealing with delight. “Good news, Mr. Moran! Mrs. Thiel remembered that she’d copied the poem into her recipe book. She sent her son down to Allentown”— 50 miles round trip—“to get it for you.” The following morning, I had a crisp photocopy waiting for me. That’s how things were done before the Internet gave us instant access to everything. Mary Emma’s personal search engine was clunkier, but you gained something in the process: oldfashioned neighborliness, timeless country values, and a story to tell the grandchildren. By Edward Moran, Pennsylvania
April 22nd- Earth Day
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
1953 FORD FLATBED TRUCK, 1½ TON, 4X4, ULTRA heavy duty, needs some TLC, Tim (760)937-3290 CHIZEK CONCRETE PUMPING, GROUT AND 3/4 line pump; Residential and commercial, prompt, dependable service, Brad (775)721-0055 DON’T HUMP IT, PUMP IT! THE PURPLE AVOCADO GREAT GIFTS! Come see why we’re voted #1 Best Gift Shop! 904 N. Curry Street, Carson City or visit our website at thepurpleavocado.com or (775)883-6233 CASE 220 RIDING LAWN MOWER, 4’ MOWER deck, (2) small disks for 8N tractor, large name brand socket set with 3/4” drive (775)246-9227 ELLA K. LADEN, CPA, PROFESSIONAL, PERSONALIZED Service for all of your Tax and Bookkeeping needs, Reasonable Rates, 25 Years Experience (775)392-0074 FRIGIDAIRE REFRIGERATOR, MODEL LFHB2741PF, 26.7 cubic feet, stainless steel, French doors, ice maker, less than 1½ years old, fantastic shape, paid $1,500, sell $800 (775)782-6080 RENEE’S UPHOLSTERY, FORMERLY OF SARAH’S, specializing in Motorcycle Seats, Furniture, Marine, Automotive, 20 years experience, rquell@sbcglobal.net or (775)530-3941
WNC Community Education Non-Unit Class...
Offerings for April/May 2016: Babysitting Certification is a great way for young entrepreneurs to learn the skills of a business while taking care of their younger siblings or babysitting for another family. This class will be held on Wednesday, March 30th and is open to students age 11 through 17, class fee $72 includes the American Red Cross Babysitting book and CD. Women’s self Defense – Women’s don’t be in a defenseless position – learn the tools at your disposal and gain the confidence to defend yourself. This class has received great reviews so take the class with a friend or a daughter. Open to students 15 and up. R.I.P.P.E.D. a fun way to get in shape, change your body shape and gain more energy. Check class descriptions, dates, cost and registration on line at www.campusece.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4268. THE INHERITANCE YOUR FAMILY WILL APPRECIATE most is knowing your family history. We can help with transcription, word processing, proof reading and editing, book layout and prompts, Eileen, lifestoriesworkshop.com or (775)392-1002 DO YOU LOVE YOUR DOG, BUT SOME TIMES don’t like your dog? Don’t worry, Nevada Dog Trainer can help, K.C. Carter (775)781-4742 SAMMY’S FIREWOOD, SOFT AND HARD WOOD, discounts with early order, delivery within 100 miles, located in Carson City, new phone number (775)315-0834
11
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The Story of Adam & Eve’s Pets
Type of Cooking a “Real” Man Will Do
It’s the only type of cooking a “real” man will do. When a man volunteers to do the ‘BBQ’ the following chain of events are put into motion: 1) The woman goes to the store. 2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. 3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand. 4) The man places the meat on the grill. 5) The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables. 6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. 7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman. 8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table. 9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. 10) Everyone praises man and thanks him for his cooking efforts. 11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off.” And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women. VOICE AND PIANO LESSONS, BEGINNER to Advanced students, experienced teacher, performer, music degree. Call The Songlady! Carolyn Lancaster (775)720-1918 or (775)267-2582 LEER 100XR WHITE FIBERGLASS TOPPER OFF 2012 Chevy 1500 with 6’6” bed, fits 2007 thru 2013 Chevy/GMC wide beds, carpeted/lighted inside, sliding side windows with screens, sliding front window, like new $600 (775)265-2009
12
Adam and Eve said, ‘Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.’ And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.’ And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal and God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, ‘Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.’ And God said, ‘I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.’ And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail. After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, ‘Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.’ And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.’ And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve. And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they greatly improved. And God was pleased. And dog was Happy. And cat..... didn’t give a poop one way or other. ROASTED GARLIC JAM, SOLD AT SCOLARI’S Market, Carrols Corner, South Yerington, call for more information (775)846-8972 or (775)463-1265 QUALITY EMBROIDERY SCREEN PRINTING and Promotional Products! East to West Embroidery and Design, Visit easttowest.com or call A.J. (775)315-0108 CARSON INSULATION CONTRACTORS, ROOFING, Drywall and more, Honest Quality Service with Integrity, Free Estimates, Competitive Rates, Insured, 30+ years experience, NV#0078115, CA#661757 (775)297-0187 SECRETARY DESK, FOLD DOWN FRONT, OAK drawer, pigeon holes inside, curved legs, 32” wide $125 (775)783-8387 USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539
Trip to Rome
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded, dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?” “We’re taking Delta,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!” “Delta?” exclaimed the barber. “That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are rude, and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?” “We’ll be at the downtown International Marriott.” “That dump! That’s the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they’re overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?” “We’re going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.” “That’s rich,” laughed the barber. “You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.” A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome. “It was wonderful,” explained the man, “not only were we on time in one of Delta’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel - it was great! They’d just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it’s the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!” “Well,” muttered the barber, “I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.” “Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke to me.” “Really?” asked the Barber. “What’d he say?” “He said, ‘Where’d you get that lousy haircut?’” CLEAN OUT YOUR GARAGE/BARN GET CASH! Porsches wanted dead or alive! Old Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827 HARDWOOD FLOORING WAREHOUSE CLEARANCE! Also Laminate, Vinyl Plank and Carpet at 20% - 50% off, Specials starting from .50 per square foot, Rogers Carpet One (775)267-2555 THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848 SPIRITUAL CLUB DISCUSSION GROUP, DREAM Study, Book Reviews, Metaphysics, Meditation, Astrology and Health Subjects, No Sales! Saturday’s 1pm, Andy (775)2663955
13
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Wonderful News!
4 Brain Teasers
1. A wealthy man named Richard Ellis had been counting his money. When he finished, he accidentally left a $100.00 bill on his desk. But when he returned for it a short while later, it was gone. Only two other persons could have seen the bill. One was the maid; the other was the butler. The maid told him that she had hidden it for safekeeping under a green book that was on the desk. But when they looked the bill was not there. The butler said he had found the bill where the maid had left it. He had placed it inside the book, where he thought there was less chance that somebody would find it. He had written down the page numbers so that he would not forget them. The bill was between pages 35 and 36, he said. But when they looked, there was no money in the book. After Mr. Ellis had talked to the maid and the butler, he called the police. He was sure he knew who had taken the money. Who was it, and how did he know? 2. I dig out tiny caves, and store gold and silver in them. I also build bridges of silver and make crowns of gold. They are the smallest you could imagine. Sooner or later everybody needs my help, yet many people are afraid to let me help them. Who am I? 3. I have seven letters. The first two stand for a boy. The first three stand for a girl. The first four stand for a brave boy. But all of my letters stand for a brave girl. What word am I? 4. A beggar’s brother died, but the man who died had no brother. How could this be? HOMEWORKS SUPERIOR AIR QUALITY AIRDUCT and dryer vent system cleaning, includes new filters, call for reasonable rates (775)790-6445 DOG CRATE, APPROXIMATELY 20”Hx24”Dx18”W, good condition $75 OBO, Gardnerville (310)283-7675 MKD CONSTRUCTION, GENERAL ENGINEERING, concrete structures, concrete flat work, grading, roadway improvements, drainage, storm drains, underground utilities (water and sewer), paving, fencing, barrier rail, environmental improvements, Commercial and Residential Snow Removal, Excellent Reputation and References Available, NV#50061 and CA#818376, Mike (775)246-1900 or (775)3152416
14
A woman called a local hospital . . . . “Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients? I’d like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected or getting worse.” The voice on the other end said, “What is the patient’s name and room number?” “Sarah Finkel, room 302.” “I’ll connect you with the nursing station . . . .” “3-A Nursing Station. How can I help you?” “I’d like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302.” “Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she’s had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, she is to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at noon.” The woman said, “What a relief! Oh, that’s fantastic . . . that’s wonderful news!” The nurse said, “From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!” “Neither! I AM Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells me poop! SEW-WHAT UPHOLSTERY, SPECIALIZING IN Antiques, Leather and some alterations, bring the life back to which it deserves, 40+ years experience, Carson Valley, Leslie (775)901-2035 STORAGE, HAY SHELTERS, BARNS, ARENAS, Corral Panels, Horse Stalls, RV Storage, Garage, Shop - Build to suit pre-fabricated kits, Bar-Y, 16 Stokes Drive (Hwy.50), Carson City (775)246-9181 1990’S EVINRUDE OUTBOARDS, ONE 112 HORSEPOWER, two 88 horsepower motors, lots of parts, Tim (760)937-3290
Rustic Country Furniture
Do you like rustic furniture? I build rustic furniture handmade from barn wood and reclaimed lumber. Custom orders are welcomed, conservator quality craftsmanship with excellent local references. Call Christopher (775)782-1130 MOUNTAIN SHADOW LANDSCAPE AND CURBING, Pavers, Concrete, Complete Landscape Services, Free Estimates, NV#0058571, Jim Vinlon (775)720-4937 and Victor Munoz (775)291-1672 JUST GUN FOOD! RELOADING EQUIPMENT, Components, Training and Ammunition, Thursday-Saturday 10am6pm, Sunday noon-5pm, Bear Bullets, 1231 Service Drive, Unit A2, Gardnerville, bearbulletsnv.com or (775)392-3213 WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192 SAMSUNG ENERGY STAR REFRIGERATOR, French doors, bottom freezer, 25.5 cubic feet, ice maker, temperature control pantry, 5 spill-proof shelves, like new $499 OBO (775)265-5966
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
Starting a Straw Bale Garden
Growing plants in a straw bale garden is a type of container gardening, with the straw bale being a large, elevated container with good drainage. Growing plants in a straw bale garden can be further elevated by locating the bales in a raised bed. Starting a straw bale garden is an inexpensive and viable option to working up the soil in a regular garden. Purchase bales of straw from a farmer’s market or a local farmer. The big box stores offer decorative straw bales during the autumn holidays, but they are small and not suitable for growing plants in a straw bale garden. Bales of hay can also be used for this type of garden, but are more prone to sprouting weeds. You’ll save yourself some effort if you buy the bales in fall before you begin planting in spring. Growing plants in a straw bale garden requires that bales are conditioned before you begin planting. If you buy the bales in fall, they’ll be watered from snow and rainfall. If you purchase at the beginning of the planting season, you can condition them in a two-week period. Straw bale garden instructions direct you to water bales well for three to four weeks before using this method. Locate the bales in their permanent area. Straw bale garden instructions say each bale will hold two or three tomatoes or squash, four to six peppers or two pumpkins. You can plant seeds in the bales according to directions on the package. Growing root crops in a straw bale is more challenging. Add compost, seed-free soil or bone meal to the top of the bale, before starting a straw bale garden. Water in well. Urea can be used as a bale amendment, as can fish emulsion or fertilizer. Make sure bales stay damp. After two weeks of preparing the bale, stick your hand inside the bale to determine warmth. If the temperature is cooler than your body temperature, you’re ready for starting a straw bale garden. Place plants as you would in the ground, being careful not to cut the twine that holds the bale together. Straw bale garden maintenance includes regular watering. Consider using a soaker hose for ease of irrigation. Straw bale garden maintenance will include regular fertilization as well. HORSESHOEING EQUIPMENT, COMPLETE SET including a pair of original GE nippers, make offer, Walt (530)495-1869 PIANO AND ORGAN PRIVATE INSTRUCTIONS, Member of Sierra Organ Club, Call Joanne Booth in Sunridge, Carson City (775)267-2429 PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, Emergency Services, Fair Prices, Dependable Quick Service, Quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373 BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND re-colored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (530)495-1641 or (775)233- 5297 ROWMATE 80 GALLON PRESSURE TANK, USED very little, 125 psi, cost $700 new, asking $350 OBO (775)265-7858
15
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Young Farm Couple
A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene, got married and just couldn’t seem to get enough lovin’. In the morning, before Homer left the house for the fields, they made love. When Homer came back from the fields, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love. The problem was their nooner; it took Homer a half hour to travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn’t getting enough work done. Finally Homer asked the town doctor what to do. “Homer,” said the doctor, “just take your rifle out to the field with you and when you’re in the mood, fire off a shot into the air. That will be Darlene’s signal to come out to you. Then you won’t lose any field time.” They tried Doc’s advice and it worked well for a while. Homer came back to the doctor’s office. “What’s wrong?” asked the Doc. “Didn’t my idea work?” “Oh, it worked real good,” said Homer. “Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said and Darlene’d come runnin’. We’d find a secluded place, make love, and then she’d go back home again.” “Good, Homer. So what’s the problem?” asked the Doc. “I ain’t seen her since huntin’ season started.” $69 SERVICE CALL, ACADEMY APPLIANCE Service; Washers, Dryers, Refrigerators, Ranges, Dishwashers, Compactors, some areas extra charge, Serving Carson Valley (775)781-4725
Codependents Anonymous
CoDA “Developing Healthy Relationships” Carson City, Sparks and Kings Beach, Visit www.coda.org or call for details, Sylvia at (775)443-8250 or Al at (775)882-0884 YOUR MOTORSPORT ADVENTURE OUTFITTER; specializing in Adventure Touring and Dual Sport motorcycles, parts, apparel and accessories, Adventure Motostuff, amotostuff.com (775)841-3777 FRAMING THAT’S FAST, FRIENDLY AND FANTASTIC! Framing for every budget, Carson’s only independent framer, Sierra Custom Picture Framing, 1210 N. Carson Street, Carson City (775)883-5411 HAVING DIFFICULTIES FINDING A HOME? RENTING, buying, tired of being a landlord or looking to sell? Call Nevada Premier Properties, ask for Angie Smith (775)691-0330 IN NEED OF A FENCE? WE SELL WHOLESALE to the public; Installation, Materials and Repairs. Custom Gates, Dog Kennels, Horse Shelters and Electronic Gates. We specialize in the largest variety of fence products. Proudly serving Northern Nevada and California since 1989! 5% off with this ad! Florence Fence Inc., Minden, NV#31586B, CA#559646, Free Estimates! (775)267-9918
Visit us online at sierrascoop.com
16
RUGER STAINLESS SUPER SINGLE SIX, .22LR/.22 magazine, 5 ½” barrel, sell for $550, buyer must have Nevada Concealed Carry permit, Yerington (202)538-1182 TIME FOR AREATING AND THATCHING, AS well as all your lawn care and yard maintenance needs, for a free estimate James at gardnervillegreen@gmail.com or (775)4500082 UNDER COUNTER DISHWASHER, GOOD CONDITION $75 OBO (775)465-2905
Leah’s Perfect Rose
Elegant Floral Design, Creative Arrangements, Plants, Gifts, Weddings, Every Occasion, 13 Years Experience, We Deliver! Monday-Friday, 9am-5pm, Saturday 10am-2pm, 1685 US Hwy 395, #1B, Minden (775)392-3532 ONE HOUR MASSAGE $30 BY SPRING Ranch Spa, extra fee for mobile service, Donna/Coleville, CA#63979, NVMT7284 (760)616-4091 EXPERIENCED HOT TUB REPAIR AND MAINTENANCE, monthly/bi-monthly, new custom covers available! Serving Carson Valley area, Carson Spa Care (775)230-5328 COLT AR15 223 CALIBER HBAR PRE BAN, NEW CASE 2/20 and 3/30 round magazines, like new condition $1,995 OBO; Winchester Canadian Centennial ‘67 30-30 90/95% $595, Nevada resident only with Nevada drivers license, Bob/Carson City (775)232-0882
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
Digging a Hole
A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road. “I can’t stand this,” said the man tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men. “Hold it, hold it,” he said to the men. “Can you tell me what’s going on here with this digging?” “Well, we work for the county,” one of the men said. “But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You’re not accomplishing anything. Aren’t you wasting the county’s money?” “You don’t understand, mister,” one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. “Normally there’s three of us -- me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back.” “Now, just because Rodney’s sick, that don’t mean that Mike and me can’t work.” CUSTOM MASONRY, ONE BRICK AT A TIME, Commercial/Residential, 3+ Better Business Bureau rating, serving Carson Valley 12+ years, Free Estimates, M Squared Masonry, NV#200616647 and CA#924187, Mark Durye (775)7834753 or (775)450-6219
HARRY’S HAULING, PIANOS, SPAS, SAFES, TRASH or anything else, Serving the Carson Valley communities (775)241-2658 or (775)291-6648 AIRDUCT CLEANING WHOLE HOUSE SPECIAL $399, All Vents, Returns, Heater and AC Cleaned and Sanitized, Dryer Vent Cleaning $99, Chimney Cleaning $99, Call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994 PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, Lawn care, Competitive Rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081 PIER 1 IMPORTS, POPPIES 18 PIECE PLATE set $75 or by piece, Pat/Carson City joandpat@charter.net or (785)8172580 A BAD TILE JOB CAN BE LIKE A BAD HAIRCUT, but it doesn’t grow back, so don’t get hacked! Done right the first time, Sundance Tile and Marble, NV#58795 (775)691-9954 FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)782-8776 JANS TROPICS AND ELEGANT POOCH, 50 YEARS serving Carson! Dog and Cat Grooming, Pet Supplies and Tropical Fish, 1000 Corbett St., Carson City (775)882-5659 or (775)882-4928
17
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Creation vs. Evolution has Been Settled!
A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race come about?” The Mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve; they had children and, so all mankind was made.” A few days later, the little girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them.” The confused girl returns to her mother and says, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God, and daddy says we developed from monkeys?” The Mother answers, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his side.” AK TYPE RIFLE, 7.62X39MM, LIKE NEW, ONLY fired 250 rounds, upgraded with accessories and optics, sell for $800, buyer must have Nevada Concealed Carry permit, Yerington (202)538-1182 WE HAVE A LARGE SELECTION OF NEW AND Used RV’s and a full parts and service department, Carson City RV, 4550 North Carson Street, North Highway 395 (775)8828335 HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30 years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick –up and delivery; parts in one day! californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521
18
What “I Love You” Really Means
“I love you” means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. “I love you” means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me. CONSOLIDATED ELECTRICAL DISTRIBUTORS, full line of electrical parts for construction and maintenance; lighting, lamps, wire, pipe, etc. Carson City (775)883-4508 OAK BARTOP, 8’x16”, EXCELLENT CONDITION $75 OBO (775)265-7858 MARKLEEVILLE ART & SOUL GALLERY! Truly unique treasures for everyone, Local Artists, Fine Art, Photography, Jewelry, Wood, Pottery, Glass, Silks, Main Street, Markleeville, CA (530)694-2787 HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/INSIDE repairs, big or small, remodel or new construction, flat rate $35 per hour (775)691-5119
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
INCOME TAX SERVICES, FEDERAL AND ALL States, Past Years Returns and Audit Representation, “Service you can trust, quality you can afford.” Call James A. Farnham, enrolled agent, 20 years experience, Reasonable Rates (775)392-0321
Waterbed
ANTIQUE ROCKER, MAHOGANY, FOOT STOOL, very elaborate carving, tapestry cloth, great condition $300 (775)783-8387
Two older ladies were sitting on a park bench complaining about their husbands. “My husband’s losing his mind,” one lady said. “Last week he went out and spent $800 for a waterbed.” “That sounds exciting,” the other lady said. “Exciting?” the first older lady said. “The way my husband’s thing has been reacting the last few years, that waterbed might as well be the Dead Sea.”
LOOKING FOR OLD SINGLE STAGE RELOADING press in working order 775-463-7872
MOVING??? CLEAN MOVING BOXES AND clean white packing paper, $30 takes all 775-600-9080
19
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
20
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
21
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The Repairman
Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn’t accommodate her with an “afterhours” appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large Rottweiler inside named Killer; he won’t bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!” Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts. As he was ready to leave, he couldn’t resist saying, “You stupid bird, why don’t you shut up!” To which the bird replied, “Killer, get him!!!” 2001 8½’ LANCE TRUCK CAMPER, MODEL 835, good condition, National Automobile Dealer Association pricing, average $4,500, low $3,750, asking $4,000, leave message (775)463-1331 APPLIANCE REPAIR, SAVE 50% ON YOUR NEXT InHome Service Call with this ad, Carson, Minden, Dayton, Sam’s TV and Appliance, Since 1960 (775)885-1939 ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)721-2880
Laps for YAPS Race and Fun Walk
Happy Birthday Wishes to my Daughter-in-Law Nova
Laughter to kiss your lips, Sunsets to warm your heart, Rainbows to follow the clouds, Smiles when sadness intrudes, Hugs when spirits sag, Comfort on difficult days, Faith so that you can believe, Confidence for when you doubt, Patience to accept the truth, Courage to know yourself, Love to fulfill your life. I love you honey and I wish you a wonderful April 19th birthday! Love you, Ma ROCKWELL, HAMILTON AND MANY OTHER collectible plate collections, original boxes with certificates, over 300 plates in all, purchase price over $10,000, sell for $2,000 (775)971-8191 VENDORS, CHESHIRE ANTIQUES HAS SPACE Available! 12,000 square foot store, furniture, jewelry, repurposed and more. Contact Karen, 1423 Hwy 395, Gardnerville (775)782-9117 EVERYONE HAS A STORY--AND A STORY WORTH telling. Let me help you tell your story, or even do it for you--in your voice. If you have something to say but struggle to put words to it I can help, no matter your writing or organizational abilities. Preserve your legacy and life experiences by putting them in writing. Let’s tell your story, big or small. doubleh2260@gmail.com or (775)772-0117
22
The Ninth Annual Laps for YAPS Race and Fun Walk is coming Saturday, May 14th, 2016. This year we’re back at the Cotton Wood Ranch in South Yerington. This is the perfect event for your whole family. The main event is a 2 Mile Fun Walk with (or without) Your Dog. For serious, runners there are 5 K and 10 K Races. The course runs along the shady Walker River. There is also a ½ Mile Kids’ Race that everyone enjoys watching and cheering. Added two years ago are the Small/Medium Dog races. This is a short closed course where each dog races against one his/her own size. Again great fun for spectators! Prizes and awards in each division – Don’t miss it! The huge shady lawn is a great place for spectators to sit and cheer their favorites. It is also where the free pre-race refreshments and after race lunch (provided by Round Table Pizza of Yerington) will be available for all. Prizes for the race winners are awarded during lunch. There is also a huge raffle with a variety of really great items. Registration starts at 8 AM, races at start at 9:30 AM. Call Carol on (775)463-2618 for details and registration or see our website www.yapspay.org or Facebook. Proceeds benefits the Yerington Animal Protection Society’s spay/neuter programs. 4 MAHOGANY VINTAGE 1920’S END TABLES, oval, round curved edges, 3 tier, 2 tier rectangle, elaborate legs, Lyres and claws $200 (775)783-8387 FIREWOOD FOR SALE, 100% PINION PINE, $245 PER cord, local delivery free, small charge for non-local (530)4952575 or (530)363-0168
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
Yankee Stadium
When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for sale. Touched by his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman found him a perch near the American flag. Later, Jose wrote home enthusiastically about his experience. “And the Americans, they are so friendly!” he concluded. “Before the game started, they all stood up and looked at me and sang, .... ‘Jose, can you see?’” HYDRAULIC AND PNEUMATIC AIR CYLINDERS Repair and Rebuild, log splitters, tractors, farm equipment, dump trucks and trailers, etc. all makes and models. Machining, Welding, Fabrication, Design Reasonable Rates! 18 years experience, Ramco Fabrication, Shawn (775)267-7358
SMITH VALLEY IRRIGATION – SERVING NEVADA and Sierra Communities for 38 Years with Ag Irrigation Systems and Parts (775)465-2316 DECKS, REMODELS, ADDITIONS, GARAGES! Free Estimates, Redline Construction, Inc., NV#0080432, garyedmunds15@gmail.com or call (775)781-3955 5, 5 GALLON PROPANE BOTTLES $20 EACH 775-7817827 TREE TRIMMING, STUMP GRINDING, REMOVAL, thinning, shaping, crown reduction, safety pruning, balancing, fruit trees, hedges, ornamental pruning our specialty, russellstreeservice.org (775)685-0528
23
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Polar Bear
A polar bear walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a large orange juice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ................................................... ................................................... ................................................... . on the rocks.” The bartender served the juice and said, “Here it is, but why the big pause?” “I don’t know,” the polar bear replied. “I’ve always had them.” INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX Preparation, Federal and all States, Prior Years, Audit Representation, 30 Years Experience, Reasonable Rates (775)392-0418 MAINTENANCE FREE DECKS AND PATIO COVERS, knowledgeable, honest, professional service! Serving Northern Nevada for 18+ years! Free Quotes! K & C Construction, NV#0079034 (775)691-6462 BRIAN’S PAINTING AND HANDYMAN- PAINTING of interiors, doors and trim, hanging of shelving, paintings, towel racks, gardening and much more (510)453-4990
1st Annual Skin Cancer Awareness Day at our Farm
Benefiting Nevada Cancer Coalition “Sun Smart Schools” Program, May 21st, 2016, 10am-3pm, Free Sunscreen, How to Check Your Skin Demonstration, Skin Analyzer Booth, UV Warning Signal Demonstration, Raffle 3-$100 produce gift certificates and Nevada Cancer Coalition Sun Smart Schools information. Early bird outdoor breakfast 7am-10am. Special appearance by All Hat No Cattle. Enjoy shopping at our country store and farmers market. Bill and Rocky’s Bella Vista Farm LLC, 2685 Billy’s Road, Minden, www.bellavistafarmllc.com or (775)230-4065 ANTIQUE VICTORIAN FURNITURE, BEAUTIFUL settee $250; ladies side chair with needle point seat $100; Simmons iron baby crib $150; claw foot coffee table $45 775-463-4440
24
New Restaurant
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.” The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?” The first man thought and thought and finally said, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that’s red and has thorns.” “Do you mean a rose?” “Yes, that’s the one,” replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?” MASON VALLEY RESIDENCE RETIREMENT home in Yerington, Senior Country Living, Landscaped Courtyard, 3 meals per day and snacks, well trained staff with lots of hugs, family friendly atmosphere (775)463-5946 COMPLETE AUTO CARE, COMPETITIVE RATES, honest, quality work with integrity, 15+ years serving Carson Valley, Autotrans Complete, 1408 Industrial Way #17, Gardnerville (775)782-1150 TOP CASH FOR ANTIQUE MINING, RAILROAD, Indian, Cowboy, Gambling Items; Lamps, Toys, Bottles, Advertising, Costume Jewelry, Indian and Mexican Tourist Jewelry, Glass Beads, Rhinestones any condition, please call Ron (775)782-3893 JOHN ALDEN SOLID MAPLE COFFEE table, shelves on front and side, very sturdy, good condition $100 775-8411092 MOTORCYCLE AND V TWIN ACCESSORIES, Tires, Upgrades, Repair and Service, Cujo’s Hog House, 1435 Industrial Way, Unit C, Gardnerville (800)979-2856 SAVE BIG ON VEHICLE OPERATION, MAINTENANCE and purchasing! One of a kind services, affordable rates, individuals and fleets, automotiveeconomics.com (775)4044988
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
WNC New Driver Education Classes
WNC will be offering numerous 30 Hour New Driver Education classes during throughout spring of 2016. In person class fee is $100. Saturday classes are four Saturdays in a row, excluding a holiday weekend. Spring break classes will be held Monday - Friday. All in person class times are 8:30am-4:30pm with a 30 minute lunch break. Also included in our classes are guest speakers - law enforcement, insurance agents, DMV and sometimes a tire representative. Two things to remember all new drivers under the age of 18 MUST take a 30-Hour New Driver Education class to obtain a Nevada Driver’s License and most insurance companies will offer a discount upon successful completion of our nationally recognized Drive Right program. Carson City - Spring break - March 28-31st, 2016 is Monday- Thursday. Saturday class schedule offerings are through - March 5th or April 16th - May 7th, 2016. Douglas - Spring break - March 28th-31st, 2016 or Saturdays class schedule April 9th, 16th, 23rd and 30th, 2016. Fallon - Spring break - March 28-31, 2016, Fernley - Saturday class schedule February - March 5th, 2016. All of WNC’s New Driver Education classes meet the 30 hour NRS requirement. New to the WNC New Driver Education offerings is an online 30-Hour New Driver Education course. Cost $90 and students have up to 60 days to complete the course. Register at www.campusce.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4463. A DREAM TO RESTORE, 1977 CADILLAC SEVILLE, V-8, 4-door, under 26,000 miles, $5,000 OBO (775)265-7077
LICENSED AND BONDED ELECTRICIAN, ADDITIONS, Remodels, Extra Outlets, Switches, Light Fixtures, Ceiling Fans, Trouble Shooting and Power Panel upgrades, etc., 18 Years Experience, Free Estimates, Senior Discount, NV#52647, Degenspark Electric (775)267-4229 HOT TUB SERVICE AND REPAIR, WEEKLY AND Bi Weekly service, Reasonable Rates, Private Homes and Vacation Rentals, Call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tub’s (775)267-2490
Topaz Community Church Happenings
Food Pantry Distribution Wednesdays 6pm or on an as needed basis by appointment, (775)364-0025. Bible Study Wednesday at 7pm - The Life of David Ladies Saturday morning monthly breakfast Fellowship with Beth Moore’s Believing God Study and Prayer. Child Care if needed. Begins April 16th, 9am. Please call to RSVP (775)3640025 Teen Challenge Banquet, Friday May 20th, 6pm at Coleville High School. There will be a game time from 2:30pm - 4pm for any High School kids. Youth from Teen Challenge will sing and share their stories and perform skits. Tickets will be sold for $10 per adult and children under age 12 eat free. All proceeds will go to benefit the Teen Challenge Center in Reno Sparks. For more information (843)540-1401 Easter Sunday Resurrection Celebration Service 10:00am with special children’s Easter service and Easter Egg Hunt following the service.
25
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
26
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
27
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
28
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
29
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Do you Have Feelings of Inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila. Tequila is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila. Tequila may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila. However, women who wouldn’t mind becoming pregnant or nursing are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth or Dare, and Naked Twister. Tequila.................: Leave Shyness Behind! FOR ALL YOUR HOME IMPROVEMENT Needs; Additions, Remodels, Garages, We Do It All! Free Estimates, 21 Years Experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453
Dog Words
The teacher was telling the class about plants that have the word “dog” in front of them: Dogrose, Dogwood, Dog Violet. She asked the class if they could name another flower with the prefix “dog.” Steven raised his hand and said, “Sure, Miss Jones, a ‘Collie’ flower!”
MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley over 26 years! (775)265-0501 REDUCE YOUR ENERGY COST! ATTIC AND WALL blown in insulation, Residential and Commercial, licensed and bonded, 27 years experience, For your free estimate call BGS NV#58410, NV#58411 (775)782-9192
CALLIBER COLLISION IS NOW IN CARSON CITY! Over 346 locations, Lifetime Guarantee, preferred shop for all major insurance companies, Free Estimates! Mention ad for free light detail, 405 Moses St., callibercollision.com or (775)887-9099
LOBO ROOFING, SERVING NORTHERN NEVADA since 1993, Financing Available! Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Senior Citizen Discounts, Mobile Home, Residential and Commercial, #K0011, NV#0070178 (775)342-8969
Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free personal ads, published as space permits. These articles, letters, comments DO NOT necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, Phone/Fax (775)782-4520
A program to address compulsive eating; ALL are welcome. Mondays 4pm at Quilter’s Mercantile, 655 Hwy 50 E., Dayton. Tuesdays 10am and Thursdays 5:15pm at St. Peter’s Episcopal Church, 314 N. Division St. Carson City. Contact (775) 4000098.
58” PANASONIC HD TV, FLATSCREEN plasma $400 775720-0809 HIGH ROLLERS PAINTING FOR ALL YOUR PAINTING Needs and Drywall Repairs! Competitive rates and Quality Workmanship, Bonded and Insured, NV#44048, highrollerspainting.net or (775)267-2534
30
Compulsive Eaters Anonymous
PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, References available, Boarding offered or visit your home; Horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065 OAK ENTERTAINMENT CENTER, 68”Wx60”Hx21”D, open area is 28½” x24½”, locking tray area, excellent condition $100 775-443-7142
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
31
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” New Boyfriend
One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. “Dear,” said the mother diplomatically, “he doesn’t seem very nice.” “Oh please, Mom,” replied the daughter, “if he wasn’t nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?” WE’LL KEEP YOU IN STITCHES, WE COVER boats, autos, furniture and ATV’s, 47 years experience, Tweeds Upholstery, Gardnerville, tweedsupholstery@yahoo.com or (775)782-5812 URETHANE CASTINGS, VACUUM AND PRESSURE castings, all custom, quality handcrafted, small sizes, small quantities okay, Westerfield Models, LLC, westerfieldmodels@gmail.com or (303)658-9343 GOLDS GYM POWER SPIN 230R EXERCISE bike, $125 OBO 775-885-7948 CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! REPAIR, RE-STITCH, Replace; Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Spa Sun Covers and Patio Shade; Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/Minden (775)267-4434 or (775)230-8706
Bubba
Air Conditioner
The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. The four brothers walked into Henry Ford’s office and sweettalked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter. Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car. They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately. Henry got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent. The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, ‘The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,’ on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed. Now Henry Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg’s name on two million Fords. They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown. And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show: Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max on the controls. So, now you know... GIRLS LANDRIDER BICYCLE, EXCELLENT condition $200 775-223-3448
32
Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, “Is it true they’s suin’ them cigarette companies fer causin’ people to git cancer?” “Yes, Bubba, sure is true,” responded the lawyer. “And now someone is suin’ them fast food restaurants fer makin’ them fat an’ cloggin’ their arteries with all them burgers an’ fries, is that true, Mista Lawyer?” “Sure is, Bubba.” “And that lady sued McDonald’s for millions when she was gave that hot coffee that she ordered?” “Yep.” “And that football player sued that university when he gradiated and still couldn’t read?” “That’s right,” said the lawyer. “But why are you asking?” “Well, I was thinkin’ . . . What I want to know is, kin I sue Budweiser fer all them ugly women I was with?” LET US UNLOAD ON YOU! TOP SOIL, ROCK, DG, etc. Tight time line? We’re really fast! 30+ years experience, serving Carson and surrounding communities, Nevada Organics (775)882-9500 BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, Residential and Commercial, Multi Story Specialist, Mobile Blind Cleaning, Pressure Washing, Awning Cleaning, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629 LANCASTER CONSTRUCTION, WE SPECIALIZE in Re-leveling Mobile Homes, also replacing old metal exterior doors with new residential doors. Give Phil Lancaster a call to schedule an appointment (775)720-4319 or (775)782-8785
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
Quilters Mercantile
Do What You Love, Sew We Do! Quilters Supplies, Fabric, Notions, Books, Patterns and Beginner to Advanced Classes Available. 655 Old Hwy 50 E., Dayton, quiltersmercantile.net or (775)246-0511 REASONABLE RATES FOR INTERIOR PAINTING, Done By The Best! Wood Staining and Finishing, 30+ years experience, Free Estimates, Senior Discounts, serving Douglas County and surrounding communities, Graham Painting, NV#0079484, Kim (775)721-4491 “A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter@ sbcglobal.net or (775)530-8932 or (775)884-3906 CLINTON ENGINE BATTERY START WITH pulleys and gauges $150 OBO 775-790-9612
Brain Teaser Answers
1. The butler did it. Mr. Ellis knew the butler was lying because pages 35 and 36 in a book are always printed on opposite sides of the same piece of paper. 2. A Dentist 3. Heroine 4. The beggar was a woman.
April 29th- Arbor Day
HIGH QUALITY AUTOBODY RESTORATION at affordable rates. Serving Carson Valley 20+ years! Insurance work welcome, Old School Resto, Paul (775)882-4300 CRAFTSMAN CHIPPER/SHREDDER, GOOD condition, about 12 years old, one owner $300 805-896-4411
Wake Up!
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5am for an early flight to Sydney. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5am.”. The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.... It said... “It’s 5am, wake up!” WE PRIDE OURSELVES ON SERVICE! When in Dyer need for a good, honest mechanic, call Brian Dyer, 12+ years serving Dayton area! Dayton Valley Service (775)246-7661 C.F.I. CERTIFIED CARPET, HARDWOOD, VINYL, no charge for furniture or tear-out. Three year labor warranty! Residential and Commercial Competitive pricing, JS Flooring (775)267-4123
33
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Raging River
Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging violent river. Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, “God, please give me the strength to cross the river.” Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice. After witnessing that, the second man prayed, “God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river.” Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once. Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, “God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river.” Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge. OAK WOOD SLIDER ROCKERS, REALLY good condition, $100 each or $175 for both 775-841-1270 D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, snow removal, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)6710808 RUPERT’S GEMCUTTING AND JEWELRY- UNIQUE Gifts, Custom Designing, Repairs. Specializing in Natural Stones and Precious Gemstone Jewelry, Carson City (775)882-5988
Roe vs. Wade
Bambi, a naive student in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, “That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware.” 14 YEAR OLD BLACK AND WHITE APHA TOBIANO mare, 14.2 hands, knows Parelli games, good physical condition, great feet $2,000, Minden (775)315-2734 PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, Remodels, New Construction, Residential and Commercial, Since 1997, Bonded and Insured. Guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441 TWIN FOUR POSTER BED FRAME, INCLUDES 3 sets of sheets and handmade light quilt $120 530-583-6438 JOB HUNTING? CHANGING CAREERS? SEEKING a promotion? Re-entering the job market? Beat the competition with a professional resume created by The Resume Business (775)267-2711 REFURBISHED MOBILE HOMES LOOKING FOR Good Tenants! 1 and 2 Bedroom for Sale, Rent or to Own! Payment starting from $505 plus utilities, available now in Dayton, Silver Springs and Yerington, NV (775)316-0634
34
NEW HUSKY 16KW 5TH WHEEL HITCH, USED once $350 OBO, Minden (702)596-8240
Yerington Community Champagne Breakfast
Saturday April 9th, 2016, 8:30am-11am, scrambled eggs, sausage patties, biscuits and gravy, sweet rolls, ambrosia, coffee, hot tea, champagne $5. Yerington Senior Center, 117 Tilson, Yerington, NV (775)463-6550 PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free. GREG’S SMALL ENGINE SERVICE AND REPAIR! All Lawn Mowers, Snow Blowers, Portable Generators, Tillers, Shredders; On Site Pick-Up and Delivery, Serving Carson City, Carson Valley, Dayton, Alpine County, Virginia City - gregtenbroeck@yahoo.com or visit us at gregsmallengine. com (775)790-0435 or (530)307-1132 CRAFTSMAN 6.5HP SNOW THROWER, electric start, excellent condition, asking $325 775-266-3852
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
Happy April Birthdays!
We hope you have a wonderful day and that the year ahead is filled with much love, many wonderful surprises and gives you lasting memories that you will cherish in all the days ahead. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! MINOLTA SRTMC 2 CAMERA, INCLUDES 3 lenses and tripod, excellent condition $85 OBO 661-645-7886 The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers. BOLENS POWER LAWN EDGER, 3½ HORSEPOWER, rigs and strap motor $150 775-835-7899 JR’S POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE, ALL Quads, Dirt, Street Bikes, Chainsaws, Snowmobiles, Generators, any gas powered machines, 30 years experience! Dayton, jrpowersports.com or (775)241-2530 4 WHEEL SCOOTER, RED, FRONT BASKET and pocket behind seat, includes battery, charger, owner’s manual, disassembles for easy transporting, weight capacity 250 lbs., runs good 775-882-8601 COMPUTER PROBLEMS? ON SITE REPAIR and Training, PC and Network Configuration, Virus and Spyware removal, Serving Dayton and Carson, justin.nelson@goowy. com or call Justin (775)450-3735 PART TIME EMPLOYMENT, NON-PROFIT AGENCY; flexible hours working with seniors. Positions available in Topaz, Coleville, Walker and Bridgeport, California. Call for more information (530)495-2700 COFFEE TABLE, 2 END TABLES, 2 LAMPS, TABLES have slate stone inset, excellent condition $300 for everything (530)495-2475
Back Forty
An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years and in the back forty it had a nice pond, picnic tables, horseshoe courts, basketball court, etc. The pond was fixed for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinnydipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!” The old man replied, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond, I only came to feed my alligators.” Old age and cunning will triumph over youth and skill every time!
35
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
36
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
37
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Carson Valley Community Theatre Presents...
Neil Simon’s “California Suite” Opening March 25th! You won’t want to miss this hilarious production by one of America’s favorite playwrights. Get your tickets today! California Suite is a humorous production divided into four scenes: Visitor from New York, Visitor from Philadelphia, Visitors from London and Visitors from Chicago. In Visitor from New York, Hannah, a magazine writer is joined by her ex-husband to discuss the question of with whom should their daughter spend the next six months; the banter flies fast and furious but Hannah’s well-wrought artifice crumbles as her fears take hold. In Visitor from Philadelphia a wife arrives at the suite, catching her husband with a drunken hooker. In Visitors from London a British star and Academy Award nominee returns to the suite from the ceremony empty-handed. Her husband Sidney will be of little comfort tonight...The Visitors from Chicago are two couples ending a disastrous vacation they should not have shared. This is Neil Simon at his most humane, compassionate best combining humor and drama to create a wonderful evening of theatre. Evenings 7:30pm, March 25th, 26th, 31st; April 1st and 2nd and Matinee 2pm April 3rd – CVIC Hall, tickets: showtix4u. com or the CVCT box office (Tuesday - Friday, 11am – 5pm, Ticket prices: $15 – Adults; $13 – Students/Seniors. At the door $15. Because of the content, this production is not recommended for those under 13 years of age. For more information email cvctheatre@gmail.com or call CVCT at (775)292-0939.
Property and Construction Management
Call Renoventures Inc. for full maintenance and construction services, remodeling and handyman services. We can customize the management of your property if you are an absentee owner or landlord. Short or long term contracts available. Excellent service and value, Tim (410)365-8268 or Bill (775)720-6204 START YOUR OWN BAND! FENDER TELECASTER guitar with stand, absolute perfect condition, vintage late 60’s Fender Bandmaster A 08076, piggy back amp and speaker, all original, Peavey XR 600 C mixer amp, Fender “Buzz Box” Champion 600 guitar amp, Roland Rhythm 77 sound machine, 2 remote loudspeakers, guitar stand, 2 microphone stands, see photo in FISBO section, serious buyers only $1,600, before 7pm (775)782-8299
AERATING OR DE-THATCHING $49, FRONT and rear most lawns, clean up available, weekly lawn service, total yard clean-up, Juniper removal, Earth, Turf and Timber Landscape Maintenance and Tree Removal (775)450-1955 GUNSMITHING SERVICES, CLEANING, REPAIR, Customizing, Federal Nevada License, Thom’s Gun Shop, Wellington (775)266-3136 WOOD STOVES - PELLET STOVES, LATE MODEL new/ reconditioned starting at $899, limited Sierra models, while supplies last, Showroom hours 10am to 2pm Monday thru Friday, 63 Laxalt Dr. Mound House, NV, sierraproductsinc. net or (775)241-2586 FIREWOOD, ALMOND, CHERRY AND WALNUT, mixed, Seasoned, Split, $380 a cord, Almond only $425 a cord, Delivery Available, Jon (775)246-7186
WE MEET BY ACCIDENT! ALL AUTOMOTIVE repairs with Professionalism and Customer Service Our Top Priority! Your choice for accident repair, offering rental cars and free estimates, Valley Collision, Yerington (775)463-5555
$55 SERVICE CALL!!! SPECIALIZING IN REPAIR and Service for 15+ years. Serving Carson Valley and surrounding communities, High Quality Plumbing, NV#75229 (775)782-5977
BCHA TRAIL RIDERS WANTED FOR TRAIL CLEARING, etc.! We perpetuate wise use and enjoyment of back country trails not just for stock use, but also open for use by the general public. The BCHA of Nevada Carson Valley Chapter meets at Grandma Hattie’s in Carson City on the first Wednesday of each month. Come check us out. For more information visit our web site at http://www.bchn.us or call (775)267-4201
ENTERPRISE JANITORIAL INC., HONEST, TRUSTWORTHY Attention to Detail, Serving Carson Valley since 1999, Competitive Rates, Residential/Commercial, Licensed, Bonded, Insured, Anna (775)691-2939
38
HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK RESURFACING and repair, interior doors, windows and interior/exterior trim, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
Mammoth Lakes Housing…
has financing through CalHome for manufactured home purchase, rehab, or replacement in Mono County! Call (760)9344740 WINTER SNOW REMOVAL AND MAINTENANCE, Irrigation, Water-Based Feeding, Tree Trimming, Cleanup, Hauling, Leafing! Pyramid Lawn Service Inc.; Residential Lawn Care, Licensed and Bonded, Owned by Ruben Vargas (775)450-1197 or (775)220-8578 NEED HELP WITH YOUR COMPUTER? I CAN help! Computer troubleshooting, software installation, computer setup and tutoring, Albert (775)841-1402 or (775)434-9394 IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SELL OR SOMETHING to say, put it in the Scoop today! 775-782-4520 AR15 $800, GLOCK 22, 19, 21, $500 EACH; MAKOROV $200; Remington 12 gauge $200, many others, must be Nevada resident, CCW a plus, call daytime only (775)267-5037 DYSON PET VACUUM, EXCELLENT CONDITION, needs belt, new $450, asking $125; Bissell power lifter, maximum cleanup, triple action brush, Febreeze filter, excellent condition $75; Shark Steam Mop, excellent condition $30 (775)392-0694
Carson Valley Arts Council Presents Run Boy Run in Concert
Run Boy Run will end the Carson Valley Arts Council’s 20152016 Concert Series. An evening of unique blends of bluegrass, folk with touches of classical. Concert at CVIC Hall in Minden on Friday, April 22, 2016. Tickets are $24 in advance; $28 at the door; Students $5. For information or to purchase tickets, visit www.cvartscouncil.com or call (775)782-8207. MASTER HOROLOGIST, CLOCK REPAIR, FURNITURE/Antique restoration, Grandfather Clock House Calls! A-1 Restorations since 1967, for appointment call Larry (775)782-2422 VINTAGE OAK AND GLASS DISPLAY CASE, good condition $199 775-230-0337 HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)267-1958 STEAMER TRUNK, USED CONDITION $98 775-315-3289 BUYING OR SELLING REAL ESTATE? LET AN experienced, professional realtor guide you to a successful outcome. Contact Jim Darrough of Realty Executives, he can and will help you, nvrebroker@charter.net or (775)790-4848
39
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” A 90 Year-Old Shares Life Lessons
Caregivers Needed
Join our team of Caregivers and make a difference in the lives of seniors. Provide companionship and bring assisted living into their home. Full-time, part-time, days, nights, 12 hour, and 24 hour shifts available. Retired and mature adults encourage to apply. EOE Apply online NvNoPlaceLikeHome.com or (775)410-2930 SCI GRADING EXCAVATING ROAD WORK, House Pads, Drainage and Erosion Control, Septic Systems and Pumping, Wet and Dry Utilities, Demolition, Water and Dump Truck Service, NV#076958, CA#954210, Erik Viksna (530)306-2647 or (775)629-9000 RENNER’S TRUE VALUE HARDWARE; Plumbing, Electrical, Post and Fence, Pre-mix Cement Bags, Toys, Pet Food, Household Cleaners, We have everything you need! Smith Valley, Wellington, TRE (775)465-2217
Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good. When in doubt, just take the next small step. Life is too short – enjoy it. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Pay off your credit cards every month. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present. It’s OK to let your children see you cry. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it... Take a deep breath. It calms the mind. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special. Over prepare, then go with the flow. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple. The most important sex organ is the brain. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. Frame every socalled disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’ Always choose life. Forgive but don’t forget. What other people think of you is none of your business. Time heals almost everything. Give time time. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does. Believe in miracles. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young. Your children get only one childhood. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need. The best is yet to come... No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. Yield. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift. MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE - Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 14 Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two story houses, based in Minden area, call John (775)267-1800 LPN AVAILABLE TO DO PRIVATE CAREGIVING, serving Douglas County, Carson City, Dayton! 40 years experience, Call Katie (775)841-5302
1 CALL HOME REPAIR, FAST, FRIENDLY SERVICE! Mention Ad for Special Labor Rates! Serving Carson City, Dayton and Douglas County, Free Estimates, Insured, NV#1129177, Tim (775)750-4744
WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL PACIFIC Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)882-3999
ELECTROLYSIS AND LASER FOR HAIR REMOVAL; Complimentary, confidential consultation. 24 years experience. Weekday, evening, Saturday appointments available, Sally Battista (775)782-6190
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, All Water Sports, Furnished Cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at eaglelakeheritage.com or (800)459-5179
40
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
41
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
42