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FEATURES | POLLS | TAKING LIBERTIES | ISSUE OF THE WEEK

The Real Fight Against Fake News Project Censored’s top censored stories of 2018 ::BY PAUL ROSENBERG

ince 1976, Project Censored has released an annual list of important news stories overlooked or underplayed by mainstream corporate media. Project Censored is a reminder that the mission of the press is to provide frank and open discussion of the issues facing the U.S. and the rest of the world. This has seldom been more important than it is today. Founded at Sonoma State University, Project Censored has trained more than 2,500 students in media literacy and received numerous honors, including two Firecracker Alternative Book Awards and the PEN Oakland National Literary Censorship Award. It is part of the National Coalition Against Censorship.

4 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

1

HOW BIG WIRELESS CONVINCED US CELLPHONES AND WI-FI ARE SAFE

Are cellphones and other wireless devices really as safe as we’ve been led to believe? Don’t bet on it, according to decades of buried research reviewed in a March 2018 investigation for The Nation by Mark Hertsgaard and Mark Dowie. “The wireless industry not only made the same moral choices that the tobacco and fossil-fuel industries did, it also borrowed from the same public relations playbook those industries pioneered,” they reported. “Like their tobacco and fossil-fuel brethren, wireless executives have chosen not to publicize what their own scientists have said about the risks of their products. On the contrary, the industry—in America, Europe and Asia—has spent untold millions of dollars in the past 25 years proclaiming that science is on its side, that the critics are quacks and that consumers have nothing to fear.”

Their report comes at the same time as several new developments are bringing the issue to the fore—including a Kaiser Permanente study (published Dec. 2017 in Scientific Reports) finding much higher risks of miscarriage; a study in the Oct. 2017 American Journal of Epidemiology finding increased risk for brain tumors; and a disclosure by the National Frequency Agency of France that some 90% of cellphones exceed government radiation safety limits when tested in the way they are actually used—next to the human body.

As The Nation reported, George Carlo was a scientist hired by the Cellular Telecommunications and Internet Association in 1993 to research cellphone safety and allay public fears, heading up the industry financed Wireless Technology Research (WTR) project. But, he was unceremoniously fired and publicly attacked by the association in 1999 after uncovering disturbing evidence of danger. Carlo sent letters to each of the industry’s chieftains on Oct. 7, 1999, reiterating that the WTR project had found the following: “The risk of rare neuro-epithelial tumors on the outside of the brain was more than doubled… in cellphone users;” there was an apparent “correlation between brain tumors occurring on the right side of the head and the use of the phone on the right side of the head;” and “the ability of radiation from a phone’s antenna to cause functional genetic damage [was] definitely positive…”

Carlo urged the CEOs to do the right thing and give consumers the information they need to make an informed judgment about how much of this unknown risk they wish to assume, especially since some in the industry had repeatedly and falsely claimed that wireless phones are safe for all consumers, “including children.”

The Kaiser Permanente study involved exposure to magnetic field non-ionizing radiation associated with wireless devices as well as cellphones, and found a 2.72 times higher risk of miscarriage for those with higher exposure. Lead investigator De-Kun Li warned that the possible effects of this radiation have been controversial, because, “from a public-health point of view, everybody is exposed. If there is any health effect, the potential impact is huge.”

Project Censored continued on page 6 >

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NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE > Project Censored continued from page 4

“The wireless industry has ‘war-gamed’ science by playing offense as well as defense, actively sponsoring studies that result in published findings supportive of the industry, while aiming to discredit competing research that raises questions about the safety of cellular devices and other wireless technologies,” Project Censored summarized. “When studies have linked wireless radiation to cancer or genetic damage, industry spokespeople have pointed out that the findings are disputed by other researchers.”

This is exact same strategy used by the tobacco and fossil-fuel industries described in the 2010 book, Merchants of Doubt: How a Handful of Scientists Obscured the Truth on Issues from Tobacco Smoke to Global Warming, by Naomi Oreskes and Erik Conway.

While some local media have covered the findings of a few studies, Project Censored notes, “the norm for corporate media is to report the telecom industry line—that is, that evidence linking Wi-Fi and cellphone radiation to health issues, including cancer and other medical problems, is either inconclusive or disputed...

As Hertsgaard and Dowie’s Nation report suggested, corporate coverage of this sort is partly how the telecom industry remains successful in avoiding the consequences of [its] actions.”

2

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6 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

Regenerative Agriculture as the ‘Next Stage’ of Civilization

The world’s agricultural and degraded soils have the capacity to recover 50-66% of the historic carbon loss to the atmosphere, according to a 2004 paper in Science, actually reversing the processes driving global warming. A set of practices known as “regenerative agriculture” could play a major role in accomplishing that, while substantially increasing crop yields as well, according to information compiled and published by Ronnie Cummins, co-founder and director of the Organic Consumers Association, in May 2017.

“For thousands of years, we grew food by depleting soil carbon, and, in the last 100 or so, the carbon in fossil fuel as well,” food and farming writer Michael Pollan wrote. “But now, we know how to grow even more food, while at the same time returning carbon, fertility and water to the soil.” Cummins, who’s also a founding member of Regeneration International, wrote that regenerative agriculture offers a “worldchanging paradigm” that can help solve many of today’s environmental and public health problems. As The Guardian explained: “Regenerative agriculture comprises an array of techniques that rebuild soil and, in the process, sequester carbon. Typically, it uses cover crops and perennials so that bare soil is never exposed and grazes animals in ways that mimic animals in nature. It also offers ecological benefits far beyond carbon storage: It stops soil erosion, remineralizes soil, protects the purity of groundwater and reduces damaging pesticide and fertilizer runoff.” “We can’t really solve the climate crisis (and the related soil, environmental and public health crisis) without simultaneously solving the food and farming cri-

sis,” Cummins wrote. “We need to stop putting greenhouse gas pollution into the atmosphere (by moving to 100% renewable energy), but we also need to move away from chemical-intensive, energy intensive food, factory farming and land use as soon as possible.”

In addition to global warming, there are profound economic and social justice concerns involved. “Out-of-touch and out-of-control governments of the world now take our tax money and spend $500 billion a year mainly subsidizing 50 million industrial farmers to do the wrong thing,” Cummins wrote. “Meanwhile, 700 million small family farms and herders struggle to make ends meet… The basic menu for a Regeneration Revolution is to unite the world’s rural farmers, ranchers and herders with several billion health, environmental and justice-minded consumers to overturn ‘business as usual’ and embark on a global campaign of cooperation, solidarity and regeneration.”

If you’ve never heard of it before, don’t be surprised. “Regenerative agriculture has received limited attention in the establishment press, highlighted by only two recent, substantive reports in the New York Times Magazine and Salon,” Project Censored wrote.

3

FBI Racially Profiling “Black Identity Extremists”

At the same time that white supremacists were preparing for the “Unite the Right” demonstration in Charlottesville, Va., which resulted in the murder of Heather Heyer in August 2017, the FBI’s counterterrorism division produced an intelligence assessment warning of a very different, though actually non-existent threat: “Black Identity Extremists.” The report appeared to be the first time the term had been used to identify a movement, according to Foreign Policy magazine, which broke the story. “But former government officials and legal experts said no such movement exists, and some expressed concern that the term is part of a politically-motivated effort to find an equivalent threat to white supremacists,” Foreign Policy reported.

“The use of terms like ‘black identity extremists’ is part of a long-standing FBI attempt to define a movement where none exists,” said former FBI agent Mike German, who now works for the Brennan Center for Justice. “Basically, it’s black people who scare them.” “It’s classic [J. Edgar] Hoover-style labeling with… maliciousness and euphemism wrapped up together,” said William Maxwell, a Washington University professor working on a book about FBI monitoring of black writers. “The language—black identity extremist—strikes me as weird and really a continuation of the worst of Hoover’s past.”

“There is a long tradition of the FBI targeting black activists and this is not surprising,” Black Lives Matter activist DeRay McKesson told Foreign Policy. A former homeland security official also told them that carelessly connecting unrelated groups “will make it harder for law enforcement to identify real threats. It’s so convoluted; it’s compromising officer safety,” the former official said.

“The corporate media [has] covered the FBI report on ‘black identity extremists’ in narrow or misleading ways,” Project Censored noted, citing examples from the New York Times, Fox News and NBC News. “Coverage like this both draws focus away from the active white supremacist movement and feeds the hate and fear on which such a movement thrives.”

4

Indigenous Communities Around the World Helping to Win Legal Rights of Nature

In March 2017, the government of New Zealand ended a 140-year dispute with an indigenous Maori tribe by enacting a law that officially recognized the Whanganui River, which the tribe considers their ancestor, as a living entity with rights. The Guardian reported it as “a world-first,” although the surrounding Te Urewera National Park had been similarly recognized in a 2014 law, and the U.S. Supreme Court came within one vote of potentially recognizing such a right in the 1972 case Sierra Club v. Morton, expressed in a dissent by Justice William Douglas. In addition, the broader idea of “Rights of Nature” has been adopted in Ecuador, Bolivia and by some American communities, noted Mihnea Tanasescu, writing for The Conversation.

The tribe’s perspective was explained to The Guardian by its lead negotiator, Gerrard Albert.

“We consider the river an ancestor and always have,” Albert said. “We have fought to find an approximation in law so that all others can understand that, from our perspective, treating the river as a living entity is the correct way to approach it, as an indivisible whole, instead of the traditional model for the last 100 years of treating it from a perspective of ownership and management.” That could be just the beginning.

“It is a critical precedent for acknowledging the Rights of Nature in legal systems around the world,” Kayla DeVault reported for YES! Magazine. She wrote: “In response to the Standing Rock Sioux battle against the Dakota Access Pipeline, the HoChunk Nation of Wisconsin amended its constitution to include the Rights of Nature. This is the first time a North American tribe has used a Western legal framework to adopt such laws.

Some American municipalities have protected their watersheds against fracking by invoking Rights of Nature. [If the New Zealand Whanganui River settlement] was able to correct the gap in Western and indigenous paradigms in New Zealand, surely a similar effort to protect the Missouri River could be produced for the Standing Rock and Cheyenne River nations by the American government.”

The same could be done with a wide range of other environmental justice disputes involving Native American tribes. Tanasescu described the broader sweep of recent developments in the “Rights of Nature,” noting that significant problems have resulted from the lack of specific guardianship provisions, which are integral to the Whanganui River law. “By granting natural entities personhood one by one and assigning them specific guardians, over time, New ZeaSHEPHERD EXPRESS

NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE land could drastically change an ossified legal system that still sees oceans, mountains and forests primarily as property, guaranteeing nature its day in court,” Tanasescu concluded.

“A few corporate media outlets have covered the New Zealand case and subsequent decisions in India,” Project Censored noted. “However, these reports have not provided the depth of coverage found in the independent press or addressed how legal decisions in other countries might provide models for the United States.”

5

Global Decline in Rule of Law as Basic Human Rights Diminish

According to the World Justice Project, an international campaign to promote the rule of law, a striking worldwide decline in basic human rights has driven an overall decline in the rule of law since Oct. 2016, the month before Donald Trump’s election. Fundamental rights—one of eight categories measured—declined in 71 out of 113 nations surveyed. Overall, 34% of countries’ scores declined, while just 29% improved. The U.S. ranked 19th, down one from 2016, with declines in checks on government powers and deepening discrimination.

Fundamental rights include absence of discrimination, right to life and security, due process, freedom of expression and religion, right to privacy, freedom of association and labor rights.

“All signs point to a crisis, not just for human rights, but for the human rights movement,” Yale professor of history and law Samuel Moyn told The Guardian the day the index was released. “Within many nations, these fundamental rights are falling prey to the backlash against a globalizing economy in which the rich are winning. But, human rights movements have not historically set out to name or shame inequality.” This reflects the thesis of Moyn’s most recent book, Not Enough: Human Rights in an Unequal World.

Constraints on government powers, which measure the extent to which those who govern are bound by law, saw the second greatest declines (64 countries out of 113). This is where the U.S. saw the greatest deterioration, World Justice Project stated in a press release. “While all sub-factors in this dimension declined at least slightly from 2016, the score for lawful transition of power—based on responses to survey questions on confidence in national and local election processes and procedures—declined most markedly.”

The U.S. also scored notably poorly on several measurements of discrimination. “With scores of 0.5 for equal treatment and absence of discrimination (on a scale of 0 to 1), 0.48 for discrimination in the civil justice system and 0.37 for discrimination in the criminal justice system, the U.S. finds itself ranked 78 out of 113 countries on all three subfactors,” World Justice Project stated. Four Nordic countries— Denmark, Norway, Finland and Sweden—remained in the top four positions, while New Zealand, Canada and Australia were the only top 10 countries outside of Europe.

The World Justice Project’s 2017-’18 rule of SHEPHERD EXPRESS

law report “received scant attention from U.S. corporate media,” Project Censored noted. The only coverage they found was a Newsweek article drawing on The Guardian’s coverage. This pattern of ignoring international comparisons, across all subject matter, is pervasive in the corporate media. It severely cripples our capacity for objective self-reflection and self-improvement as a nation.

6

World’s Richest 1% Continue to Become Wealthier

In November 2017, Credit Suisse released its EighthAnnual Global Wealth Report, which The Guardian reported on under the headline, “Richest 1% Own Half the World’s Wealth, Study Finds.” The wealth share of the world’s richest people increased “from 42.5%, at the height of the 2008 financial crisis, to 50.1% in 2017, or $140 trillion (£106 trillion),” The Guardian reported, adding: “The biggest losers… are young people who should not expect to become as rich as their parents.” “[Despite being more educated than their parents,] millennials are doing less well than their parents at the same age, especially in relation to income, home ownership and other dimensions of well-being assessed in this report,” Credit Suisse chairman Urs Rohner said. “We expect only a minority of high achievers and those in high-demand sectors, such as technology and finance, to effectively overcome the ‘millennial disadvantage.’”

“No other part of the wealth pyramid has been transformed as much since 2000 as the millionaire and ultra-high-net-worth individual (known as “UHNWI”) segments,” the report said. “The number of millionaires has increased by 170%, while the number of UHNWIs (those with a net worth of $50 million or more) has risen five-fold, making them by far the fastestgrowing group of wealth holders.” There were of 2.3 million new U.S. dollar millionaires this year, taking the total to 36 million. “At the other end of the spectrum, the world’s 3.5 billion poorest adults each have assets of less than $10,000,” The Guardian reported. “Collectively, these people, who account for 70% of the world’s working age population, account for just 2.7% of global wealth.”

“Tremendous concentration of wealth and the extreme poverty that results from it are problems that affect everyone in the world, but wealth inequalities do not receive nearly as much attention as they should in the establishment press,” Project Censored noted. “The few corporate news reports that have addressed this issue—including an August 2017 Bloomberg article and a July 2016 report for CBS’s “MoneyWatch”—focused exclusively on wealth inequality within the U.S. As Project Censored previously reported, corporate news consistently covers the world’s billionaires while ignoring millions of humans who live in poverty.”

Paul Rosenberg is senior editor at Project Censored.

Comment and find more of this year’s top censored stories at shepherdexpress.com. n DECEMBER 13, 2018 | 7

::SAVINGOURDEMOCRACY ( DEC. 13 - DEC. 19, 2018 ) The Shepherd Express serves as a clearinghouse for all activities in the greater Milwaukee area that peacefully push back against discriminatory, reactionary or authoritarian actions and policies of the Donald Trump administration, as well as others who seek to thwart social justice. We will publicize and promote actions, demonstrations, planning meetings, teach-ins, party-building meetings, drinkingdiscussion get-togethers and any other actions that are directed toward fighting back to preserve our liberal democratic system.

Thursday, Dec. 13

Represent.Us Kick-Off Party @ Milwaukee Public Library (2727 W. Fond du Lac Ave.), 4-5:30 p.m.

Represent.Us is a non-partisan movement hoping to end the corruption big money has brought to politics. The group is rallying behind the American Anti-Corruption Act that was crafted by former Federal Election Commission chairman Trevor Potter.

Milwaukee Democratic Socialists of America Happy Hour @ Lakefront Brewery (1872 N. Commerce St.), 6-8 p.m.

The Milwaukee chapter of Democratic Socialists of America will host a happy hour for new members and people who are interested in the organization to come learn more about democratic socialism.

Friday, Dec. 14

Benefit Show for Families Separated by Deportation @ Club Garibaldi (2501 S. Superior St.), 6:30 p.m.-2 a.m.

This fundraiser for families that have been separated by deportation features raffles, food, drinks and music from DJ DRiPSweat, No Stress Collective, Mariachi Monarcas de Milwaukee, Saebra & Carlyle and Browns Crew. There will be a suggested $10 donation cover charge at the door.

Saturday, Dec. 15

Citizen Action WI Annual Meeting & State Budget Training @ Unity Center Milwaukee (1717 N. 73rd St.), 11 a.m.-2 p.m.

Citizen Action of Wisconsin is celebrating another year of fighting for progressive causes across the state. The meeting will be a year-in-review for the organization and will also include trainings on citizen lobbying, Medicaid expansion and more.

Peace Action Wisconsin: Stand for Peace @ The corner of Highway 100 and North Avenue, noon-1 p.m.

Every Saturday from noon-1 p.m., concerned citizens join with Peace Action Wisconsin to protest war and, literally, “Stand for Peace.” Signs will be provided for those who need them.

Protesters are encouraged to stick around for conversation and coffee afterward.

The Fight to Restore Driver Licenses for Immigrants & Low-Income People @ La Casa de Esperanza (410 Arcadian Ave., Waukesha), 5-7 p.m.

This event is a part of Voces de la Frontera’s campaign to pass legislation that will restore driver licenses to immigrants and low-income people. The group will share information on the campaign’s progress and upcoming actions.

Laughing Liberally Milwaukee’s War on Xmas Comedy Extravaganza @ ComedySportz Milwaukee (420 S. First St.), 8-10 p.m.

This special edition of Milwaukee’s monthly progressive political comedy show will make Donald Trump and Fox News’ made-up “War on Christmas” a reality. As always, the show will be hosted by comedian, satirist and progressive talk radio host Matthew Filipowicz. This month’s show also features Dina Nina Martinez, Jason Hillman, Marcos Lara, Stevie Leigh Crutcher, Josh Fred, Brittany Tilander and sketch comedy group The Accountants Of Homeland Security.

To submit to this column, please send a brief description of your action, including date and time, to savingourdemocracy@shepex.com. Together, we can fight to minimize the damage that Donald Trump and others of his kind have planned for our great country.

NEWS&VIEWS::POLL

You Believe Trump is Starting to Panic Last week, we asked if, after weeks of startling revelations from the Robert Mueller investigation, you believe the reports that Donald Trump is beginning to panic. You said: n Yes: 69% n No: 31%

What Do You Say Are Scott Walker and Wisconsin State Assembly Speaker Robin Vos showing contempt for the will of Wisconsin voters by backing lame-duck legislation weakening the power of incoming governor Tony Evers? n Yes n No Vote online at shepherdexpress.com. We’ll publish the results of this poll in next week’s issue.

8 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

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NEWS&VIEWS::TAKINGLIBERTIES

It’s No Secret Republicans Hate Democracy ::BY JOEL MCNALLY

W

isconsin Republicans have become a national embarrassment by immediately convening an “extraordinary” session of the Legislature to sabotage the results of last month’s election, in which Democrats won every statewide office.

It’s national news when a state’s Republicans refuse to accept the will of the voters in a democracy and ram through partisan laws crafted behind closed doors to strip elected Democrats, including Governor-elect Tony Evers and Attorney General-elect Josh Kaul, of the power to carry out the agenda that won the election.

But, for anyone from Wisconsin, the reaction is simply: What else is new? That really should be the reaction of any American who’s paid at-

tention to the corruption of the Republican Party.

It’s no secret Republicans are now openly contemptuous of democracy and increasingly brazen about doing anything possible to disenfranchise anyone who might vote for their opponents. Being a Democrat in America is no crime, but Republicans believe it should be.

The reason Republicans oppose democracy is obvious. The tactics they rely upon to win elections—enormous tax cuts for the wealthy and stirring racial hatred among the white working class—don’t have majority support. The last two Republicans to become president actually received fewer votes than their Democratic opponents. George W. Bush received more than 540,000 fewer votes than Al Gore in 2000, while Donald Trump got nearly 3 million fewer votes than Hillary Clinton in 2016.

GOP Voter Theft

Twice in modern times, a weird, undemocratic, electoral glitch we’ve never fixed has elected losing Republican candidates to the presidency (with some unethical help for Bush from Republican appointees on the US Supreme Court).

When we were in high school, decades ago, the most overworked debate question was “Should the Electoral College Be Abolished?” We’ve always known the right answer. In a democracy, the candidate who gets the most votes is supposed to win.

But, instead of repairing our democracy, Republicans resort to subterfuge to prevent as many

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Democrats as possible from voting. Their dishonest, undemocratic tactics include requiring forms of identification many Democrats don’t possess, massive purging of voting rolls to eliminate registrations of millions of Democrats and corrupt gerrymandering to make votes by Democrats meaningless. In North Carolina, a Republican campaign operative actually went door-todoor, stealing absentee ballots. Everyone knows Republican claims they’re preventing vote fraud are transparent lies. Disenfranchising millions of legitimate voters in a democracy is vote fraud.

Republicans holding an overwhelming majority in the Wisconsin Assembly have absolutely no fear of any political consequences for invalidating the votes of the citizens of Wisconsin. Legislators cynically believe they’ve so corruptly gerrymandered their own voting districts they can never be defeated.

They might be right. In November’s election, Democrats won 53% of the votes cast statewide in Assembly races, yet Republicans still retained their ridiculously lopsided 63 to 36 seat Assembly majority, mostly thanks to their dishonest manipulation of district lines.

However, Republicans could also be very wrong. Many of the 40 Republican congressional seats Democrats flipped nationally to gain control of the House of Representatives were just as dishonestly gerrymandered to ensure the election of Republicans. Strong Democratic candidates and outrage over Republican corruption still wiped out double digit Republican advantages. Now, Wisconsin Republicans are openly increasing that outrage in advance of what, for decent Americans, could be the most publicly infuriating presidential reelection campaign in the nation’s history.

SHANK

Particularly appalling were the changes Republicans were hellbent on preventing Evers and Kaul from making to improve lives in Wisconsin. The number one issue that got Evers and Kaul—as well as many Democrats across the country—elected was promising to stop the relentless Republican attempts to destroy affordable health care, including government subsidies to lower cost and guaranteed coverage of pre-existing conditions. Republicans proved they’re still completely out of touch with voters on the issue by preventing Evers and Kaul from ending state participation in yet another Republican lawsuit to destroy health care for millions of Americans.

“I guess there’s just a meanness in this world.”

Bruce Springsteen wrote that line about a serial killer, but it also applies to Republicans. Of utmost importance to the party was making sure Evers doesn’t allow poor people to eat or receive medical care unless they have jobs. Everyone else can go die. And, of course, Republicans want to drastically reduce early voting. If you don’t believe in democracy, you certainly don’t want to make it easier for people to vote. Previous Republican attempts to limit convenient voting have been ruled unconstitutional, but Republicans are hopeful they’ve put more judges on the bench who don’t care what that damned Constitution says.

We certainly can’t count on the corrupt Republican majority on the Wisconsin Supreme Court to protect us from corrupt Republican legislators attacking democracy. All patriotic Americans can do is continue electing candidates who believe in democracy. Go ahead. Tell Republicans: “Love it or leave it.”

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Arnitta Holliman WORKING WITH WOMEN AGAINST SEX TRAFFICKING IN MILWAUKEE ::BY ERIN BLOODGOOD

P

eople like Arnitta Holliman, who sacrifice so much of their heart to the people they serve, don’t see what they do as a job, but as a lifestyle. As the Director of the Sisters Program at the Benedict Center, she works daily with women in the street-based sex trade. With a career like hers, Holliman doesn’t simply clock out at the end of the day. She thinks about these women constantly, trying to find ways to improve their lives and prevent sex-trafficking from happening in our city. “You can’t get a peek into these women’s lives the way that we do and not be touched by it,” she says.

Holliman grew up in Milwaukee and has been in the city her whole life. As she explains, her early upbringing and faith in the church drive the work she does today. “I’d like to give whatever I can to the city, to the community that gave so much to me,” she says. With a background in clinical psychology, Holliman began doing counseling in a prison during her graduate studies. While working with her patients, she found herself getting frustrated when they were not reaching the goals of the program and she felt like she wasn’t making enough of an impact. Her turning point came when her clinical professor told her to change her idea of success, because success looks different for everyone. Holliman still carries that idea with her, looking for progress in the little acts that her clients do.

In 2016, Holliman found her way to the Benedict Center, which is an organization that advocates and provides services for women involved in the justice system. The center has three main programs: Women’s Harm Reduction Program, Justice Advocacy and the Sisters Program. Under the Sisters Program, Holliman organizes a street outreach team, case management workers and an education program for women in prostitution or sex trafficking. “Part of the work that we do,” says Holliman, “is advocating for women to be treated as they should be treated and be seen as people deserving of dignity and respect,” because they are not always treated that way. “It is common to hear people say that women choose to do this,” she explains, “but we have to take a step back and look at the system to understand why women get involved in prostitution.” Poverty, for instance, can be an extremely coercive force.

When these women are impoverished on the street, then receive a fine from the police for prostitution, it only worsens their situation. That’s why the organization partners with the Milwaukee Police Department and District Attorney’s office, allowing women to get help instead of becoming incarcerated or get ticketed. The goal is to bring women to the Benedict Center and build a relationship rather than punishing them in the criminal justice system.

There are many ways to get involved with the Benedict Center, but “one of the biggest things people can do to help is better understand who the women are and see them as their neighbors.”

Once the public accepts these women as part of their community and treats them with respect, we can make a tremendous impact on their lives.

Learn more about the movement at benedictcenter.org.

For more of Erin Bloodgood’s work and to find ways to get involved, visit bloodgoodfoto.com.

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D E C E M B E R 1 3 , 2 0 1 8 | 11

::DININGOUT DAVE ZYLSTRA

FEATURE | SHORT ORDER | EAT/DRINK

Boo-Boo’s

EXCEPTIONAL SANDWICHES at BOO-BOO’S

Most of the other sandwiches on the menu are also served hot. The K Jon Chicken ($8.50) is kind of a Cajun and Greek mash-up. Big, tender cubes of chicken breast are cooked on the flattop along with onions, sliced sweet peppers and a thin, tangy sauce, then topped with provolone, cucumber slices and tzatziki. You can choose between hot and mild versions of this sandwich, but the former wasn’t noticeably spicy. The sauce, which was liberally applied, was sweet and barbecue-like and became homogeneous with the tzatziki into a creamy concoction. The tasty workhorse bread held up just fine.

You can get the same delicious chicken breast in a buffalo chicken sandwich ($8.50) with onions, sweet peppers and muenster cheese, or try thinly-sliced pork loin in the Happy Pappy ($8.50) with spicy mango sauce. The Sloppy Johnny ($6.50) is their version of a sloppy joe made with ground beef, chopped mushrooms, pep::BY LACEY MUSZYNSKI pers and onions, held together with melted cheddar.

Four options make up the cold sandwiches, including albacore tuna salad hen a restaurant does sandwiches really well, it ($7.50). It’s a pretty standard tuna-and-mayo mix, along with minced celery for doesn’t need to offer a lot of them. I know that crunch. What puts this tuna salad over the top is the heavy addition of capers, givcan be said for most specialized restaurants, but the ing most bites a briny pop. You can also get the tuna salad in melt form with Amerimassive variety of sandwiches in the world makes can cheese and sweet peppers on whole wheat bread. A vegetarian brie, avocado, finding a small menu more unusual. By smartly limiting tomato and basil sandwich ($7.50) is dressed with balsamic vinaigrette, as is the a customer’s options, Boo-Boo’s Sandwiches focuses on Genoa salami and red onion sandwich ($7.50). making the ones they do offer stand out from the comAll sandwiches are served with a side of either chips or French fries. While petition.

Boo-Boo’s used to make the fries in-house, they’ve switched to frozen, though The sandwiches at Boo-Boo’s start with a solid foundathey’re respectable and topped with a bit of parmesan cheese. The chips, howtion of homemade bread. The slim, sesame seed-studded, ever, are now homemade and quite good. They’re relatively thick and substanbaguette-style loaves are baked each morning just a couple tial, but still plenty crunchy and served warm. I’m normally a fry person, but doors away at Soup Brothers, which is also owned by Richard these chips were the winner.

Regner. By the time it gets to you in your sandwich, it’s got a Soup also makes an excellent side, since Soup Brothers know what they’re deep brown color, medium crust and fluffy interior. It holds evdoing. Upgrade to a soup and sandwich combo ($11.50) and choose between erything together handily and is hardly an afterthought. three different options: cheddar and Bermuda onion, spinach and fennel or Since Boo-Boo’s took the former spot of Philly Way, it’s only appropriate that they carry on the cheesesteak legacy. The Milly Philly ($8.50) is one of the best in the city, red pepper bisque. All are great for dipping and are served in a charming array of mismatched bowls. especially compared to other fast-food or fast-casual versions.

Equally quirky is the colorful, Bohemian décor, complete with Steak is sliced wafer thin and griddled with chopped onions, artificial fireplace in the enclosed patio, photographs hanging Boo-Boo’s then piled onto the split baguette along with provolone cheese. from clothespins and carpet that spells out the restaurant’s name The beef has actual flavor and plenty of seasoning, something Sandwiches inside the front door (look closely!). It’s small and a little bare weirdly lacking in other versions. For 50 cents, I opted to add the 405 S. Second St. bones, but it’s got personality in spades. Between the welcoming house cheese sauce but found it rather thin and bland, especially 414-885-1532 • $-$$ atmosphere, helpful employees and exceptional sandwiches, it’s compared to the sharp provolone. Mushroom or green pepper easy to see why Boo-Boo’s is a favorite lunch stop. boo-boos.net add-ons might prove a better choice.

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For more Dining, log onto shepherdexpress.com

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Melt the cold away

Unique Mexican Dishes at Mis Sueños ::BY JAMIE LEE RAKE

The dim supper club-styled lighting at Mis Sueños (7335 W. Greenfield Ave.) provides a novel atmosphere for its Mexican American menu. Few—if any—other taquerias have an interior like this one. At least a couple of dishes at Mis Sueños (Spanish for “My Dreams”) are as uniquely impressive as the restaurant’s visual appearance.

A recent dinner of chicken chileguiles verdes was a heaping generous portion of shredded meat baked with eggs, tortilla chips, white cheese, onion and a jalapeño-tomatillo sauce with avocado and tomato garnishes. That’s but one of Sueños’ offerings usually associated with breakfast but found elsewhere on its bill of fare. Another example is machaca, a mix of shredded beef with tomato, onion, and green bell pepper with optional eggs. At many Mexican places, vegetarian offerings are often meatless iterations of other items, but here, sautéed zucchini flavored with garlic and cumin tempts me to visit again soon. Tacos, burritos, tostadas, moles and quesadillas make up much of the rest of Mis Sueños’ Mexican menu, while steaks, ribs, sandwiches and Friday fish fry compose the American side of the menu.

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DININGOUT::EATDRINK

Boombalatti’s Pizza Company Has Low-Carb Solutions for Pizza Lovers ::BY SHEILA JULSON

L

ike most of us, Laura Turk loves pizza. In 2014, her doctor put her on a high-fat, low-carb diet, and the Italian classic pie became her cheat food because pizza crust contains a high amount of carbs. So, she set out on a quest to find a quality low-carb pizza crust, which eventually led her and her husband Matt to form Boombalatti’s Pizza Company, offering take-and-bake low-carb, gluten-free pizzas, lasagna and desserts.

Laura lost 75 pounds, and Matt lost 40 pounds by sticking to the high-fat, low-carb eating style commonly known as the ketogenic diet. “When you eat that way, the body enters a state of ketosis, where the body is in a fat-burning mode,” Laura said.

“When you’re in that state and you choose to cheat, and for me cheating was pizza, what happens is that it takes three days to get the body back into ketosis. Pizza is my favorite food in the whole wide world, so I just wanted a good pizza I could eat.”

Laura researched recipes to make low-carb crust and discovered the Fat Head Pizza Crust, to which she says Boombalatti’s Pizza Company pays tribute. She’s unsure who first created that recipe, but she tweaked it to her liking. “Our recipe has a base of cheese, almond flour, eggs and flax meal,” she said. “You can eat it like pizza by actually holding it up and taking a bite. You don’t need a knife and fork, like some lowcarb crusts.” She also created her own zesty pizza sauce that’s low in sugar, thus friendly for the carb-conscious community.

Because there are different degrees of ketogenic diets, Laura prefers not to market Boombalatti’s Pizza Company specifically as ketogenic and instead calls their products “low-

Pizza and cookies from Boombalatti’s

carb solutions.” She noted that alternative pizza crusts, such as those that are cauliflower-based, are aimed more for the gluten-free lot than for ketogenic diets. “A common misconception is that keto people can eat gluten-free foods, but it’s actually the other way around,” she explains. “How I cook is inherently gluten-free, so they can eat my stuff, but gluten-free foods aren’t always low-carb.”

Laura often hears from people that gluten-free pizza crusts don’t always cook evenly, so her pizzas became a hit with the gluten-free community. “I have to par-bake my crust before I top it, so if it’s not perfect, it doesn’t go to a customer,” she said. She also has many customers who are diabetic and have to limit carbs, since the body turns carbohydrates into glucose, which raises blood sugar levels.

Customers can order specialty pizzas listed on the website, such as cheese and sausage, extra mozzarella, cheese and bacon, chicken bacon alfredo, taco pizza and breakfast pizza; they can also build their own. Boombalatti’s Pizza Company also has low-carb lasagna, and Laura plans to add chicken parmesan. Desserts include a special holiday bourbon pumpkin cheesecake, and chocolate chip or “shortbread” cookies. She’s also planning to offer holiday cookie platters for catering and parties. All items are made from scratch as ordered and can be picked up during specific time frames at their commercial kitchen in Waukesha County. Laura said they hope to open a Boombalatti’s Pizza Company store this spring.

For more information, call 262-227-2660 or visit boombalattispizzaco.com.

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Holiday Happenings

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Get shoppers through your doors by advertising your holiday specials and gift ideas If you’re interested in advertising in the Gift Pages, please contact your Account Executive or contact Jackie at 414.292.3814 or jackie@shepex.com.

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D E C E M B E R 13 , 2 0 1 8 | 15

::A&E

Brought to you by The Milwaukee Art Museum

FEATURE | FILM | THEATRE | ART | BOOKS | CLASSICAL MUSIC | DANCE

Living for Books

Renaissance Books

Renaissance Books Opens at Southridge

STORIED MILWAUKEE BOOKSELLER TRADES GRAND AVENUE FOR SOUTH SIDE ::BY BLAINE SCHULZ he long history of Milwaukee’s Renaissance Books begins another chapter with a new store in Southridge Mall. Located on the second floor, in a space that once was home to Toys “R” Us, the new store—unlike its famed original Downtown location—is well organized, taking advantage of the open space. Shelves line the perimeter walls and are also set up around the interior of the store.

Owned by longtime Milwaukee book dealer Robert John, Renaissance’s old fourstory site (830 and 834 N. Plankinton Ave.) was filled to the rafters with used books. Surprises lurked at every turn. It was closed by the city of Milwaukee in 2011 and sold in 2016 to developer Tim Gokhman. Renaissance opened a neatly-arranged location at General Mitchell International Airport in 1979 and became so heralded by air travelers that it was written about in The New York Times.

In 2012, John’s nephew Christopher John and his wife Cari opened a Renaissance Books in the Shops of Grand Avenue. According to Cari, “as traffic volume at Grand Avenue decreased and more storefronts became vacant, we wondered what our fate would be.” She said they were contacted by Southridge management and instead of down-sizing, the move to Southridge gave Robert John the opportunity to preserve a multi-location business model.

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In June of 1978, Michael “Orange Mike” Lowrey “wandered into the old Renaissance store downtown and [has] never successfully gotten out.” Within a year or two, his wife C. Kay Hinchcliffe began working there as well. They live in a house they bought from Robert John’s brother, George John, who co-founded Renaissance with Erwin Just. According to Lowrey, George John was “the last American poet endorsed by Gertrude Stein. Unfortunately, as a businessman, he was a great poet.”

Lowrey and Hinchcliffe’s daughter Ink began coming into the Mitchell Airport branch when she was 19 days old. “I’ve been working there officially since I was 16.” Ink will manage the Southridge store. “Even though it is located close to two other book stores [both Barnes & Noble and Half Price Books are nearby], I’m hoping we will be able to offer a different sort of experience,” Ink says.

According to Lowrey, there is a philosophy for a good store that goes beyond “skimming the gravy” with hot sellers. When the window of opportunity closes, a bookstore does not want to have stock on hand once a fad is over. “The ideal is to have the depth of collection,” he says, “where you have titles in stock that are referenced in the book you are currently reading, and then have the titles that are referenced in that book. There are books on the shelves from 1763 and you probably would not sell two copies of that in the next year. Yet, all literature is an ongoing conversation.”

Depth of knowledge by the staff is also important. “When you walk up to the counter the person you talk to will be there because they love books, or they wouldn’t be in the room,” he says. Ink expects the Southridge location to offer a comparable size of selection as the airport store and plans to have five employees. She is modeling the store on the way the airport store is run with the deeply organized feel of the Grand Avenue store.

Who buys books anymore? According to Lowrey, you cannot make assumptions. “There was a customer who was pretty clearly a street person who would come in every month or two and buy a Shakespeare play in paperback.

Whatever else was going on in his life, that part of his intellect was still being stimulated,” he says. The last time jazz singer Tony Bennett was in town, he purchased The Poetical Works of William Blake. U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice William Rehnquist “unsurprisingly bought a lot of U.S. history and law.”

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Holiday Gift Pages Browse pages 18 - 21 for holiday gifts that will make the season bright!

To advertise on these pages, please contact your Account Executive or contact Jackie at 414.292.3814 or jackie@shepex.com.

AMERICAN SCIENCE & SURPLUS Don’t stick just anything in their stockings…shop with geeks, treasure hunters, artists and mad scientists for the most incredible stuff in Milwaukee! From robotic lizards and wooden catapult kits to beaker mugs and ludicrously-bright flashlights, American Science & Surplus has thousands of unique items to educate, entertain and most certainly give you a reason to giggle.

ART BAR Art*Bar’s 12th annual “mini” show is the biggest and best tiny art show of its kind.

Tiny art @ tiny prices: Everything is smaller than 8” x 8” and sells for less than $100!

More than 150 local artists and more than 1,800 pieces of art. The show is reloaded with new art every day from now until Christmas; show ends Sunday, December 30.

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A community-focused design and letterpress print shop, their days are spent crafting one-of-a-kind impressions on paper and, by night, opening up type drawers and teaching you how to do the same. Treat your peeps to a Drink&Ink gift card this season, and you’ll be gifting an amazing night of drinks and poster printing at their weirdly awesome, 100-year-old letterpress print shop—an experience they’ll never forget!

BILTRITE FURNITURE-LEATHERMATTRESSES A 4th generation local, family business that has proudly served the Milwaukee area since 1928 that takes pride in their quality, pricing and personal service. Their

specialties include affordable, better quality furniture and mattresses, mostly USA- and Amish-made, and small-scale furniture. They have a huge in-stock selection as well as affordable custom options with your choice of fabric, leather, wood, finish and hardware.

BRADY STREET FESTIVUS Brady Street celebrates the return of Festivus on Saturday, December 8th, 3pm til 1:30am. Registration required for the 3rd Annual Festivus One Mile Beer Run and Feats of Strength. The Festivus for the Rest of us…

BREW CITY BRANDS Established in 1986, Brew City Brand is a family-owned, Milwaukee-based clothing company that designs and prints incredibly local products—it celebrates everything that makes Milwaukee iconic. You’ll find the perfect gift for that special someone (or for yourself!) to show off that unique Milwaukee pride—think t-shirts, glassware, can coozies, sweatshirts, socks and even beer-scented candles. Brew City has three retail locations at the Milwaukee Public Market, General Mitchell Field Airport and Southridge Mall or online at www.brewcityonline.com.

BREWED CAFÉ In the bottom of a house on the East Side’s Historic Brady Street lies a brightly colored, delightfully warm and homey cafe. Brewed serves up all-day breakfast, sandwiches and weekly homemade soup specials in a cozy space. You are invited to sit, relax and enjoy a cup of their excellent coffee or mull their eclectic art over a glass of wine or beer.

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Buddy Squirrel combines the best of both worlds when it comes to satisfying your sweet tooth or craving for salt. Whether you’re looking for confections, nuts or gourmet popcorns, Buddy Squirrel offers a wide selection of award-winning specialties at three, convenient retail locations. Treat yourself or that special someone to delicious indulgences that are handmade using traditional recipes to make the perfect gift, holiday treat or party favor!

Besides the typical jewelry store amenities, the Jewelers Guild offers beautiful retail jewelry showcasing 100% handcrafted works by talented jewelers that are ready to go home with you. However, their specialty is custom pieces designed just for you! Stop in for their Make & Take Ornament event during their Small Business Saturday Open House—open to all ages and skill levels!

CASCIO MUSIC Join this 72-year-old musical instrument retailer in celebrating Small Business Saturday! You will find endless savings with special sales starting on Black Friday that carry over right into Saturday with even more doorbusters. Their experienced music team looks forward to serving everyone from the budding musician to the seasoned rock star and everyone in between!

CBD THERAPEUTICS OF WI CBD Therapeutics of WI is a local, family business of Organic CBD products in Southeastern WI. All products are made from organic fair-trade ingredients, contain 99% pure CBD isolate and are THC free.

Come celebrate their first Small Business Saturday! There will be door prizes, giveaways with super-cool, free tote bags, CBD infused refreshments, and a SALE! CBD Therapeutics HOLIDAZE Gift Bags will be loaded with products at a steep discount that’s perfect for gifting.

CHRISTMAS IN THE WARD Make your list, check it twice, then get all your holiday shopping done in the national and locally owned shops of the Historic Third Ward. You’ll find the perfect gifts for all the special people on your list.

DAVID BARNETT GALLERY

Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. Just about everyone loves chocolate, especially at the holidays, and Kilwins selection is made from the finest ingredients on earth. You’ll melt their hearts as it melts in their mouths. Don’t forget their luscious caramels, creamy ice cream or fudge. You can even take a class!

MONCHES FARM Located in the scenic Holy Hill area of Wisconsin, is a charming and beautiful property decorated with a huge selection of fresh wreaths, trees and garlands. Stroll the grounds and say hello to the doves in the greenhouse and meet the flock of rare and heritage breed chickens. The lovely shop has a truly incredible and unusual selection of distinctive, imaginative gifts, antiques and décor. Visit them again or learn why they are a year-round favorite of so many!

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Great things come in small packages at Schwanke-Kasten Jewelers. Since 1899, they have offered beautiful engagement rings, jewelry and timepieces. Their longstanding reputation of outstanding customer service, with onsite gemologists, goldsmith and watchmaker has made them one of the most trusted and respected jewelers in the Milwaukee area. This holiday season, shop local at Schwanke-Kasten!

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Have you been to David Barnett Gallery?

Located within the historic Button Mansion overlooking Lake Michigan, the gallery houses over 6,000 artworks from around the world in a variety of styles and prices. No wonder it has been revered as a Wisconsin art destination! The gallery offers custom picture framing, art appraisals, restoration, installation, and giclée printing. Gift Certificates available!

Fischberger’s Variety, a one-of-a-kind gift shop masquerading as an old-time variety store, aims to have the finest and freshest build-your-own $20 gifts for all ages. You’ll find unique, thoughtful gifts including a large selection of books, quality toys, home goods, yarn and fun, cool stuff guaranteed!

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A brick-and-mortar boutique and gift shop featuring contemporary clothing and artisan goods. Their local gallery sells handcrafted items such as printed tees, jewelry, accessories, bath and home goods, candles, gifts and so much more. Featuring monthly metalsmithing, jewelry, calligraphy and fiber classes in their Milwaukee shop. Stop in and check out their specials on Small Business Saturday!

to the Irish Cultural and Heritage Center 2133 W. Wisconsin Ave., Milwaukee Saturday, December 15 at 7:30pm

Tickets: www.ichc.net or call 414-345-8800

While you’re here, enjoy our Egg Nog Latte with cinnamon and nutmeg!

Come visit URSA and enjoy a unique shopping experience in their relaxing, sun-filled boutique. You’ll find a unique collection of gifts and goods to make your home look and feel it’s best. You’ll also find women’s & men’s apparel, jewelry, apothecary goods, houseplants and a wide selection of space cleansing incense, smudge sticks and candles. Shop with them on KK in Bay View. Free parking available in their lot.

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• Coffee • Gift Cards • • Jewelry • Artwork • latte soap • • Merch • T-shirts • decals • Open Daily: 6:30am-7PM

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::THISWEEKINMILWAUKEE

THURSDAY, DEC. 13

“Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” in Concert with the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra @ The Riverside Theater, 7:30 p.m.

The Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra and conductor Justin Freer continue their tour of the Harry Potter film franchise this weekend with a live score of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Alfonso Cuarón’s acclaimed 2004 installment. That’s the one where young Harry Potter squares off against Sirius Black, played by Gary Oldman. The orchestra will accompany screenings of the film with a live performance of John William’s buoyant score. (Multiple performances through Sunday, Dec. 16.)

The Moth StorySLAM: Instincts @ The Back Room at Colectivo, 8 p.m.

Its popularity fanned by a weekly show on NPR, since its inception in New York in 1997, The Moth storytelling series has spun off into touring roadshows and satellite storytelling slams in cities around the country. That includes regular slams in Milwaukee, where the public is invited to take the stage to share true, five-minute stories without using any notes. Some of the stories are wildly funny, others are intensely dramatic, but all of them create a sense of intimacy between the storyteller and the crowd. For this installment, storytellers are invited to share tales about our animal instincts.

Matthew Curry @ Shank Hall, 8 p.m.

Illinois rocker Matthew Curry has garnered comparisons to Stevie Ray Vaughan and Chris Stapleton with his combination of blues, heartland rock and southern rock. Despite the generation gap, the young guitarist has found a particular following among classic-rock fans, thanks in part to the enthusiastic support of rocker Steve Miller, one of several seasoned rockers who Curry has toured with. He’s also shared the road with Peter Frampton, Journey and The Doobie Brothers. In 2016, he released his latest EP, Shine On. 22 | D E C E M B E R 1 3 , 2 0 1 8

Kyle Feerick

FRIDAY, DEC. 14

Kyle Feerick @ Boone and Crockett, 8 p.m.

Milwaukee singer/songwriter Kyle Feerick specializes in breezy, soulful rock, which he records with the help of a rotating cast of musicians that include some of the city’s sharpest players. His latest EP, Light All Around, doesn’t mess with a winning formula. Drawing equally from classic R&B and modern indie-rock, it was recorded with a cast that included Fever Marlene drummer Kevin Dunphy, De La Buena keyboardist David Wake and former Soul Low bassist Sam Gehrke. Feerick’s lineup tends to change from show to show; for this vinyl release performance, he’ll be backed by guitarists Sean Williamson and Lodewijk Broekhuizen, saxophonist Aaron Gardner, bassist Peyton Lencho and drummer Matt Liban.

Uranium Club w/ Dogs in Ecstasy, Usufruct and Bric-A-Brac Records DJs @ Cactus Club, 9 p.m.

Minneapolis’ Uranium Club don’t disguise their influences. The group draws from the formative years of punk and New Wave, in particular the raw, scruffy spirit of Devo, Wire and The Fall’s earliest recordings. The group, which has released music on the labels Lump Records, Static Shock Records and Fashionable Idiots, shares this show with Milwaukee cult favorites Dogs in Ecstasy, who riffed on the indignities of life in the internet age on their jubilant new album Dreams and Gripes. Fans under 21 will have a chance to see Uranium Club on Saturday, Dec. 15, when they play an all-ages benefit show for the MKE LGBT Community Center and The Trevor Project at Cactus Club, at 3 p.m. That bill will also feature Beggar, Detenzione and Dagger.

Chris Haise Band w/ Fiona Blue and Bryan Cherry @ Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, 8 p.m.

Chris Haise is familiar to Linneman’s Riverwest Inn regulars through his gig hosting the venue’s long-running Wednesday night open mic. Last year the folk singer released a poetic, Dylan-inspired debut EP called Your Ugly Friends, but at this show Haise will celebrate the release of his new single “Suburban View,” a song he wrote about Milwaukee. He’ll be joined on the bill by fellow singers/songwriters Fiona Blue and Bryan Cherry.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Read our daily events guide, Today in Milwaukee, on shepherdexpress.com

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Rory Makem

SUNDAY, DEC. 15

Rory Makem: A Christmas Tradition @ Irish Cultural and Heritage Center, 7:30 p.m.

Rory Makem comes from a long line of Irish musicians. His grandmother, Sarah Makem, was a prominent Irish singer famed for her rendition of “As I Roved Out,” which opened a popular BBC Radio folk music show of the same name in the ’50s; his father, Tommy Makem, performed regularly with The Clancy Brothers and has been dubbed “The Godfather of Irish Music.” Those are big shoes to fill, but Rory has done the family legacy proud, performing for more than 25 years with his siblings as a member of the Irish folk band The Makem Brothers. In recent years, he’s gone the solo route, lending his voice to a number of movie soundtracks and PBS programs.

TUESDAY, DEC. 17 The Sleighriders @ Shank Hall, 7 p.m.

For more than 35 years, a huge group of Milwaukee musicians have come together each year for a holiday show as the Sleighriders to raise money for a worthwhile cause.

This year, the epic jam session returns with another enormous cast of 40 players, which, in years past, has included ace players from the local blues and rock scene and members of bands like The Boogie Men, Bad Boy, Blue hand and Street Life. All money raised will go to Variety of Wisconsin, an organization that supports disabled children.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER: THE MUSICAL Book and Lyrics by Jahnna Beecham Music and Lyrics by Malcolm Hillgartner Based on the Play by Barbara Robinson Presented by special arrangement with Broadway Licensing (www.broadwaylicensing.com)

TICKETS START AT $15!

Nov. 23 – Dec. 26, 2018 Suggested for families with young people ages 4 – 14+ F I R S T S T A G E . O R G / P A G E A N T

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

D E C E M B E R 1 3 , 2 0 1 8 | 23

PAUL RUFFOLO

A&E::INREVIEW

Early Music’s Lovely Early Christmas Concert ::BY RICK WALTERS

I

First Stage’s ‘Girls in the Boat’

First Stage ‘Girls in the Boat’ Tracks the Rise in Women’s College Sports

I

::BY ANNE SIEGEL

n a world premiere written especially for First Stage’s Young Company, Girls in the Boat takes audiences on a bracing, 80-minute ride through US women’s rowing history. In 1975, the Yale University women’s rowing team protested to the athletic department for equal funding and conditions under the federal government’s Title IX provisions. This event drew national attention for equality in women’s collegiate sports and also inspired playwright-producer Alice Austen.

As the play points out, the 11 girls in the cast share not only a love of rowing and competition but must also learn the art of girl bonding. This is a key difference from men’s sports, Austen believes. Girls in the Boat opens on a relatively simple set consisting of platforms and wood-topped locker room seating. The greenish walls of the backdrop could represent a gym, or a boat house. The raised wood seating becomes the “boat” in which the girls test their mettle. About a fourth of the play takes place while the cast is “rowing” with imaginary oars.

The nine girls on the rowing crew are dressed in matching white tank tops and red gym shorts. The cast’s other two performers are dressed in men’s clothes, as they switch roles between being coaches, dads, a reporter and various brothers. Director Marcella Kearns takes the girls steadily through this fast-paced script, which mimics the intensity of an actual sporting event. Audiences dare not blink or they might lose track of a gesture or a thread of a conversation.

The girls’ distinct personalities must literally take a back seat to each one’s potential for moving the boat forward. Feelings are momentarily hurt; but, in the end, the team learns that unity is the key factor to its success. For today’s teens, who are too young to comprehend public schools not offering girls sports teams, this play is something of an eye-opener.

For the rest of us, it is a reminder of how far we have come, and how far we may yet have to go.

Through Dec. 16 at Milwaukee Youth Arts Center, 325 W. Walnut St. For tickets, call 414-267-2961 or visit firststage.org.

For reviews of Black Nativity, Candy Cane Tales, Medea, Miracle on the 34th Street and Who Killed Santa, visit shepherdexpress.com. n 24 | D E C E M B E R 1 3 , 2 0 1 8

always look forward to the Early Music Now Christmas season concert, easily the classiest holiday event of its kind in the area each December. Taking place at St. Joseph’s Chapel, the city’s most flattering acoustics for choral music, the New York-based group Pomerium performed two well-attended concerts this weekend. I heard the one on Sunday afternoon.

Pomerium, which began in 1972, is one of the oldest early music ensembles in the country. It derives its name from the medieval Latin word for garden or orchard. The fourteen a cappella voices of the ensemble, conducted by founder Alexander Blachly, sang with precision, balance and beautiful blend. The program was of Advent and Christmas Gregorian chants and their Renaissance elaborations by composers such as Guillaume Dufay, William Byrd, Josquin des Prez, Orlande de Lassus and Giovanni Palestrina.

I was constantly fascinated by the texture of the choral sound, with counter-tenors often switching from cultivated falsetto to a normal tenor sound. This made a unique ensemble, not like most choruses, and I was listening throughout for the inner voices of the harmonies because of it. Phrasing of the unison chants was lovely and with refined tapering. At times, the sound of the singers was so perfectly in tune that harmonies rang the splendid chapel with resonant purity.

About half an hour into the concert I was thinking it was better than good, but I realized there was a sameness to the music. Then, the selections became richer and more complex. Josquin des Prez’s motet Praeter rerum seriem was striking and haunting, brooding with unusual harmonies.

Palestrina’s Dies sanctificatus for double chorus was a high point, a tapestry of colors and sounds.

The one hour and twenty-minute concert was performed without intermission and without applause until the end. I appreciated the chance to settle in and listen without distraction.

Early Music Now is respected as one of the most important series of its kind, presenting the best medieval, Renaissance and Baroque ensembles in the world. Local performing arts lovers should be proud that it has built such a loyal audience here in Milwaukee.

‘The Nutcracker’ Arrives Just in Time to Spread Some Joy ::BY JOHN JAHN

P

yotr Tchaikovsky’s The Nutcracker was the last of his trio of amazing ballets, the other two being the equally gorgeous Swan Lake and The Sleeping Beauty.

But only The Nutcracker has taken on both the honor and burden of being, for many a ballet company, an annual tradition. A straightforward production is fine on its own, but the fact that Milwaukee Ballet’s production is titled Michael Pink’s The Nutcracker tells you that this company’s take is anything but traditional.

Michael Pink is both the Milwaukee Ballet productions director, artistic director and choreographer. His version of The Nutcracker differs in many ways from the original toy nutcrackerturned-prince fairytale. It was adapted and choreographed by Marius Petipa and Lev Ivanov, which they based upon an Alexandre Dumas adaptation of a story titled The Nutcracker and the Mouse King by E.T.A. Hoffmann—the great Romantic writer of fantastical tales. Thus, Pink’s

artistic license taken for his own vision is not to be viewed as at all heretical; toying with the plotline is far from new. The only real questions are: Does this particular Nutcracker work? By and large, it does. Are the performers up to the task? Definitely.

The 2018 version follows that of the past several years, with the only notable changes in leading artists and supporting cast—all of whom, nevertheless, prove more than up to the task of presenting a fast-paced, colorful, entertaining show suitable for viewers of all ages. Indeed, Pink’s The Nutcracker is most notable for its kid-friendliness; children populate the stage as well as the audience. The stage is nearly never bereft of children; kids take on some of the supporting roles that would normally go to adults.

His formula seems to work; I noticed nary a creature stirring (not even a mouse), in the childfilled audience, no matter how quiet a particular scene or dance may be. Clearly, they were rapt.

The set design, lighting, costuming and music (the latter from the Milwaukee Ballet Orchestra and Milwaukee Children’s Choir) give the proceedings eye-popping visuals and a fine rendering of Tchaikovsky’s delightful, evocative score. Dancing was excellent throughout, with leads Alana Griffith, Annia Hidalgo, Lahna Vanderbush, Randy Crespo, Garrett Glassman and Timothy O’Donnell offering gracefully athletic movement. The show remains a splendid way to spend a couple of hours for young and old alike, surrounded by nothing but joy and beauty.

Couldn’t we all use a little more of those in our lives?

Through Dec. 26 at the Marcus Center’s Uihlein Hall, 929 N. Water St. For tickets, call 414902-2103 or visit marcuscenter.org.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::PERFORMINGARTSWEEK For More to Do, visit shepherdexpress.com

CLASSICALMUSIC

The OK Factor

If you’re looking for something a little different than the usual “holiday season” offerings, consider enlivening mid-December with a genre-bending instrumental duo whose music hits something of a happy medium between folk and classical string playing. This charming, versatile and talented duo—The OK Factor— consists of Minnesota-based cellist Olivia Diercks and violinist Karla Colahan, who write and perform original music with an organic ease.

The OK Factor’s new classical crossover concerts have recently brought them to the Cedar Cultural Center, the Dakota Jazz Club and on Minnesota Public Radio, among other venues. Now, they’ll make their next stop at the Sharon Lynne Wilson Center for the Arts, where they’ll treat the audience to new arrangements of favorite holiday tunes featured on their fourth studio album, released in 2017, titled Have Yourself an OK Christmas. (John Jahn) Friday, Dec. 14, at 8 p.m. at the Sharon Lynne Wilson Center for the Arts, 19805 W. Capitol Drive, Brookfield. For tickets, call 262-781-9520 or visit wilson-center.com.

“Charlie Brown Jazz”

Noted American jazz pianist, composer and arranger Vincent Guaraldi (1928’76) enjoyed a successful career with his own jazz ensemble and scored a hit single with “Cast Your Fate to the Wind.” To most, however, he’s best known for his charming scores to beloved animated adaptations of the Peanuts comic strip. Indeed, “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” through-composed with Guaraldi’s inimitable light-jazz score, remains a holiday season go-to.

Coming to the Oconomowoc Arts Center is the Eric Mintel Jazz Quartet with its Charlie Brown Jazz concert. The quartet will perform favorite holiday classics and original versions of songs by Guaraldi. Pianist and composer Eric Mintel, saxophonist and flautist Nelson Hill, bass player Jack Hegyi and drummer Dave Mohn are virtuoso jazz musicians individually and collectively who have been entertaining audiences of all ages for more than 25 years. (John Jahn) Saturday, Dec. 15, at 7:30 p.m. in the Oconomowoc Arts Center, 641 E. Forest St. For tickets, call 262-560-3172 or visit oasd.k12.wi.us.

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THEATRE

Velvet Gentleman

This play is a playful journey into the mind and music of witty and eccentric French composer Erik Satie (1866-1925) whose music ranges from comically bizarre to hauntingly beautiful. Satie was a colorful figure in the early 20th-century Parisian avant-garde. His work was a precursor to later artistic movements such as Minimalism, Surrealism and the Theatre of the Absurd.

Created and performed by James Valcq (who also co-directs this production with Robert Boles), Velvet Gentleman is a multimedia theatre piece featuring Satie’s music, words and drawings that will fairly transport audiences to fin de siècle Paris.

Valcq has received substantial praise for his embodiment of the famous Frenchman.

Warren Gerds of WFRV in Green Bay remarked that Valcq “may be the best Erik Satie there ever was, for Satie is condensed and revealed in ways he himself never did or would have been able to do.” (John Jahn) Dec. 19-31 at Third Avenue Playhouse, 239 N. Third Ave., Sturgeon Bay. For tickets, call 920-743-1760 or visit thirdavenueplayhouse.com.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Joan Lunden, journalist, best-selling author, former host of Good Morning America and senior living advocate.

D E C E M B E R 1 3 , 2 0 1 8 | 25

A&E::VISUALART

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OPENINGS: “The Stereo Photography of Hal Rammel”

Friday, Dec. 14, 5-7:30 p.m.

Cedarburg Art Museum, W63N675 Washington Ave., Cedarburg

Installation view of Liz Miller’s “Proliferative Calamity” at Hawthorn Contemporary

The Sensual Indulgence of Liz Miller’s “Proliferative Calamity” ::BY SHANE MCADADMS

T

here’s something oddly refreshing about attending an art reception in Milwaukee on the same Saturday night that the orgy of commerce and decadence at Art Basel Miami has reached climax.

Between reports from the front lines in the form of Instagram messages made poolside from the Delano Hotel, I had the very different pleasure of engaging deeply with a single work of art (and several supplemental drawings) in an intimate setting, attended mostly by local acquaintances, with the only distraction being the management of my bulky winter coat.

Very different, to be sure; however, Liz Miller’s exhibition “Proliferative Calamity,” running through Feb. 9 at Hawthorn Contemporary in Walker’s Point, presents its own proprietary bacchanal of sensual indulgence. Miller’s work strategically fills the entire 500-square foot gallery with the same level of consideration a painter might fill the imagined space of an empty canvas.

One might say that Miller paints with sculpture, building spatial relationships into cohesive site-specific installations that fill her spaces with form and color.

We have the luxury, at Hawthorn, to stand back and see the sculptural forest before penetrating into its trees and enjoying those eponymous calamities as they proliferate into life. Miller’s installation is intricate and sprawling, making it accessible on many levels. Composed mainly of “soft” media, like cut paper 26 | D E C E M B E R 1 3 , 2 0 1 8

and draped fabric, it seduces easily enough through raw materiality and vivid color. But it’s the unexpected languages she merges in the show that dial up the sophistication and rigor. Organic crunchiness meets opulent baroque glamour; abstract forms mix with vaguely recognizable objects; natural colors bleed into the loudest artificial hues. And, somehow, all these would-be oppositions integrate seamlessly.

From the entryway, a series of sculptural bunches build from green tendrils and warm brown fronds at their bases and twist upward, snaking under the gaudiest metallic copper and lavender fabric. It could be a small tropical island in drag, or a very glammed-up Daphne trying to escape Apollo. The forms are everything and nothing, nimbly dancing on the line between representation and abstraction, encouraging interpretation like a 3D Rorschach.

Along the South wall of the gallery, a series of lemon-yellow chiffon-wrapped platforms dangle from PVC pipes, like American Doll-sized canopy beds. The pipes’ juts form clusters of cut paper vegetation on the wall. As strangely specific cultural objects ensconced by manicured nature, they have a little of Fragonard’s famous painting The Swing in them. Naughty and innocent; substantial and frivolous. Fragonard’s type of Rococo extravagance was, until very recently, registered as insipid and vacuous to most of the establishment; however, what was once a vapid 18th century teen soap opera has come to seem a little more Felliniesque.

Miller’s work, too, brings a certain effervescence and flare that is necessary at the moment. Still, couched in all that fizz and fun, is a palpable libidinous energy.

Aspects of Miller’s work also bring to mind contemporary installation artists such as Jessica Stockholder, Polly Apfelbaum, and Judy Pfaff, which is pretty good associative company. Miller has her own voice, though, which shouts loud and clear enough.

Her installations are the very embodiment of that old maxim by Jasper Johns about making: “Take an object. Do something to it. Do something else to it.” But there’s a little more to it than that: If applied with a certain willful touch, those somethings will metamorphose into other somethings, which, finally, will feel and appear conjured rather than crafted by human hands. In “Proliferative Calamity” the physical becomes phenomenal; the material becomes almost extraterrestrial, as Miller spins her mundane somethings piece-by-piece into many magical something elses and transforms Hawthorn Contemporary into something elsewhere. Which happens to be a fine and exotic alternative to Miami Beach.

Hal Rammel is a visual artist and photographer who explores cameraless and alternative process photography. His interest in stereoscopic photography began in the late 1990s; this work has included 35mm slides in realist camera formats, pinhole photographs mounted in vintage stereoview card formats, and most recently, studies in large format stereo imaging based on the work of British inventor Charles Wheatstone from the early 1800s.

In this exhibition, Rammel explores the unique possibilities of stereo photography utilizing his original pinhole cameras and a cameraless photogram process of his own invention. The exhibit runs through March 31, 2019.

BFA Exhibition/ BA Project Session Closing Reception

Saturday, Dec. 15, 5-7 p.m.

Kenilworth Square East Gallery 2155 N. Prospect Ave. A closing reception celebrating the work of the Bachelor of Fine Art (BFA) and Bachelor of Art (BA) students from UW-Milwaukee’s Art and Design Department takes place this Saturday evening at the Kenilworth Square East Gallery. Represented in this exhibition (which opened on Wednesday, Dec. 5) are 19 BFA studio art seniors showcasing a yearlong exploration of creative studio practice, as well as 16 BA in studio art, community art, design studies and digital fabrication and design seniors displaying creative research projects. For more information, visit uwm.edu/arts.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::OFFTHECUFF

Helping Veterans Get Around Town

OFF THE CUFF WITH BIKES FOR STRIPES’ DEBBIE BUCHANAN ::BY CATHERINE JOZWIK

O

ften, veterans lack transportation to get to the grocery store, the doctor’s office and to other necessary appointments. For the past several years, through a collaboration with Milwaukee County Veterans Service Office, Milwaukee Homeless Veterans Initiative (MHVI) provides veterans with free donated bicycles, locks and helmets. The program is called Bikes for Stripes. Launched in 2008 by Milwaukee Veterans for Peace members Mark Foreman and Dennis Johnson, MHVI has assisted more than 2,000 veterans and their families through its programs that offer emergency food, wellness assessment and home support.

Off the Cuff interviewed Debbie Buchanan, executive director of MHVI, about the Bikes for Stripes program and its impact on veterans in the community.

How did the Bikes for Stripes program come about?

A lack of transportation is a huge barrier to many veterans. We decided to go with bikes—besides being an environmentally friendly form of transportation, bikes promote a healthy lifestyle and are very economical—you don’t need insurance to ride one, for example. We received a $1,000 grant from Pilot International, an organization that promotes brain health and fitness. We used $500 of the grant for locks and bike repair, and the remaining $500 for bus tickets and gas cards for veterans.

Has the demand for bikes remained steady over the past few years?

The demand has tremendously increased over the last two years, ever since we moved from our Fond Du Lac Ave. location to our National Ave. location in West Allis. There is a large community of veterans over here—we are right up the street from the Veterans Administration hospital and near other veterans’ services offices. Last year, we gave out 64 bikes, including children’s bikes, to veterans and their families. At this time, we are especially in need of women’s bikes.

When do you give bikes out to veterans?

Generally, we start giving out bikes in April, and we will continue to give out bikes until there is too much snow on the ground to ride them. We serve veterans all over Wisconsin and deliver bikes, furniture, toiletries and other items throughout the entire state, including as far north as Rhinelander.

How can people donate to Bikes for Stripes?

Because we have to do bike safety checks and have a limited amount of space in our facilities, we will start accepting donations in March or April. Those interested in donating can call 414-257-4111 and speak to Liz Gagnon, our emergency services coordinator.

They can either drop their bike off at our MHVI location or our MCVSO location, at 6419 W. Greenfield Ave., from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. on weekdays. We can also pick up your bike from your home or another location.

For more information about the Bikes for Stripes program, visit mkehomelessvets.org.

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D E C E M B E R 1 3 , 2 0 1 8 | 27

A&E::FILM

[ FILM CLIPS ] Mortal Engines PG-13 It’s 1,700 years in the future, and large cities are nomadic steampunk machines. Mounted atop enormous tanks, they survive by gobbling up villages and Earth’s remaining resources.

Teenage Hester Shaw (Hera Hilmar) survives off the land. She is tracking Valentine (Hugo Weaving), one of mobile London’s elite, because he killed her mother. To bring him down, Hester teams up with Tom Natsworthy (Robert Sheehan), an outcast historian, and Anna Fang (Jihae), an outlaw airplane pilot. Hester, in turn, is targeted by Valentine’s cyborg assassin (Stephen Lang). Conceived in the ’80s and intended for adults by author Philip Reeve, this multi-book tale was scooped up by Scholastic Books after Reeve rewrote it for young readers.

Peter Jackson wrote the screenplay of book one with his visual effects creator, Christian Rivers, directing. Up to eight sequels may follow. (Lisa Miller) ‘The Wife’

Glenn Close as the OscarWorthy ‘Wife’ Behind Her Nobel-winning Husband

E

::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN

xtraordinary women have held Joe’s flirtation with Joan led to marriage. Of positions of authority and re- course, his insatiable libido will also demand spect in the public sphere, but release elsewhere, but such was the expectauntil recently, they were few and tion for great novelists in those days. Yet, she usually rare. More often, even the is responsible for his contract with a major most talented women kept in the background, New York publisher, where she works pouring exerting their influence through men, whether as coffee for the men. One of the editors menmuse, organizer or the proverbial “power behind tioned they need a Jewish novelist for their the throne.” list—this was the age of Philip Roth and Saul The Wife is a story about a woman in the Bellow. She knew just the man, her husband, shadow of what society called a great man. Set in and recognizing the flaws in the manuscript of the recent past—in 1992, with flashbacks to the his first novel, she rewrote it. From then on, 1950s and ’60s—The Wife stars Glenn Close as he might have had the “big ideas,” as she says, Joan Castleman, wife of celebrated novelist Joe but she provided depth of character and diaCastleman (Jonathan Pryce). She shares his ex- logue that lives on the page. He received full citement in the opening scene when Stockholm credit for their covert collaboration. calls, informing him that he will receive the NoThreatening to reveal the family secret, bel Prize for Literature. However, a hairline frac- Nathaniel Bone (Christian Slater) follows the ture is visible on her face—a mental reservation, Castlemans to Stockholm and threatens a tella shadow of a doubt. all biography based on rumors and implicaIt’s an emotionally rich story, directed by tions. He is an ambiguous character, pursuing Sweden’s Björn Runge, and adapted from Meg the truth behind the fiction to serve his own Wolitzer’s bestselling novel by screenwriter Jane ambition.

Anderson. As it unfolds, suspicion mounts that The Wife is a superior story for its emotionJoan was more than Joe’s proofreader and house- al complexity. Joe tends to narcissism but is keeper, albeit she performed both roles. Flash- not uncaring. A study in poise and composure backs build the substantial backstory as Joan, Joe in public, privately, Joan is capable of bitterand their sulky son David (Max Irons) process ness and flashes of anger at her husband’s selfthrough the regal setting of the Nobel Prize cer- justifications. And yet, they are a solidly oldemony. Joan was Joe’s student at Smith College married couple, viewing each other’s foibles in the ’50s, where he inspired her with benign tolerance. David devotion to writing and sharpis a wild card, a writer eager ened her prose. While a student, to please his father, yet resentThe Wife she attended a function honorful of living in his shadow. He Glenn Close ing a respected “lady writer” seeks Joe’s approval and Joe Jonathan Pryce who tells her, “The public can’t doles it out with a parsimonious stand bold prose from a woman” hand. Joe thinks his son is weak Directed by and predicted she’ll never make and spoiled. He might be right.

Björn Runge a career as an author. Men, she Joan is The Wife’s sympaRated R advised, are the critics, the edithetic protagonist, but there are tors, the publishers. Women will no villains except the set of unnever be taken seriously. reflecting norms that prevented That’s not the whole truth of a literary era that her from becoming a respected novelist in her include Shirley Jackson and Patricia Highsmith, own right. The Wife was out last summer but but it’s an accurate generalization. Serious litera- has returned to theaters. Oscar consideration ture, like most other things deemed important, for Close is possible. was still a man’s world.

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The Mule R Inspired by a New York Times article, “The Sinaloa Cartel’s 90-Year-Old Drug Mule,” Clint Eastwood (age 88) portrays an elderly, yet prolific drug courier. The real mule sought to save his daylily farm from foreclosure, then became enamored of three figures wages per trip. Well-versed in playing the curmudgeon, Eastwood works from a script by Nick Schenk who creates a lived-in history for Earl Stone. Judging from similar Eastwood directed/starring films such as Blood Work and Gran Torino, we’ve every reason to expect an engaging character and story. (L.M.)

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse PG Taking a new direction, this animated Spider-Man film bows from Marvel’s multiverse comics. A portal allows Peter Parker/Spider-Man (voiced by Jake Johnson) to meet and train a teenager, Miles Morales (Shameik Moore), from another dimension. Spider-Gwen (Hailee Steinfeld) also finds the portal, throwing in with the guys who are soon joined by various other spideys. They weave a collective web to defeat universe-hopping villain Kingpin (Liev Schreiber). Made by Sony Animation, this well-received adaptation uses jokes to stick to audiences, then hangs on via a constant stream of attitude. (L.M.)

[ HOME MOVIES / NOW STREAMING ] n The Third Murder

An attorney defends a man charged with murder only to find his client continually changing his story. The Third Murder, by Japanese director Hirokazu Kore-eda, is less a murder mystery than a meditation. It considers many things, beginning with the fine points of law and culpability. The elegantly visualized and scripted film also considers whether crime results from social conditions, perversity or fate, and whether truth can be established in any law court—or anywhere else.

n The Interpreter

Nicole Kidman has a face haunted by fear in some of the film’s best moments. Playing a U.N. interpreter who overhears a plot to assassinate a world leader, she is confronted by a skeptical Secret Service agent (Sean Penn) and his no-nonsense partner (Catherine Keener). Director Sydney Pollack’s didactic 2005 thriller has many contrived plot points but also a few interesting turns. The political theme remains relevant: when is combating terrorism just an excuse for genocide?

n “Star Trek Discovery: Season One”

The Klingons are angry at the beginning of “Star Trek Discovery” and ready to “lock arms” against those who claim they “come in peace.” That would be the Federation, and the recklessness of First Officer Burnham (Sonequa Martin-Green) triggers more problems, including the death of her mentor and charges of mutiny. “Discovery” is about Burnham’s redemption quest but makes some good points along the way about fighting fanaticism and making martyrs of their leaders.

n Gauguin: Voyage to Tahiti

Paul Gauguin’s paintings weren’t selling; he hated his life in Paris (“suffocating”) and tried to convince his wife and friends to join him on his journey to Tahiti. They said no, but he went anyway and found inspiration—like many early modernists—in what the West deemed primitive, even savage.

Director Edouard Deluc’s dramatization follows the painter’s account of embracing Tahiti in its exotic lushness—especially the beauty of the local women who became his subjects.

—David Luhrssen SHEPHERD EXPRESS

A&E::BOOKS

BOOK|PREVIEW

John Gurda Updates ‘Milwaukee: A City Built on Water’ ::BY JENNI HERRICK

A

s the holidays inch ever closer, people inevitably turn to the bookshelves for gift-giving ideas. An autographed copy of a great book is an extra-special personalized gift that connects readers to the author behind the story. John Gurda, Milwaukee’s preeminent historian and acclaimed local author, will appear at Boswell Book Co. for a special afternoon book signing of his recently updated local history, Milwaukee: A City Built on Water.

Like many notable American cities, Milwaukee’s founding is intrinsically tied to its proximity to the many rivers that flow through the city and the great lake that borders our eastern shore. In Milwaukee: A City Built on Water, Gurda explores the success and survival of the Cream City through the stories of generations of brewers, bricklayers, traders and builders who all helped to transform the city using the waterways that are the area’s most priceless asset. Even life-long city residents will learn something new as they explore the lives of Milwaukee’s first native inhabitants, as well as uncover details about recent efforts to transform and protect the local waters.

A Milwaukee native, Gurda has been writing about his hometown for over 40 years. His expansive book, The Making of Milwaukee, became an Emmy award-winning PBS series that premiered in 2006. In 2015, Gurda wrote, coproduced and hosted a one-hour documentary as a companion piece to the book Milwaukee: A City Built on Water. Gurda is the author of more than 10 books on local history and is an eighttime winner of Wisconsin Historical Society’s Award of Merit. He will sign copies of his book Milwaukee: A City Built on Water from 2-3 p.m.

Saturday, Dec. 15, at Boswell Book Co. Copies of many of Gurda’s best-selling tales will also be available for purchase.

Party

Winners will be announced on January 22, 2019 From 5-8:30pm at Potawatomi Hotel & Casino www.shepherdtickets.com

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

D E C E M B E R 1 3 , 2 0 1 8 | 29

::HEARMEOUT ASK RUTHIE | UPCOMING EVENTS | PAUL MASTERSON

::ASKRUTHIE

SPONSORED BY

Oh, Christmas Tree!

Dear Ruthie,

HALF-OFF YOUR FIRST MONTH AT COMOTION FITNESS $130 VALUE FOR $65 WWW.SHEPSTORE.COM the

We don’t sing: “Come SOME Ye Faithful” No Matter What You Are Welcome At Plymouth Church

Please, help settle a bet. What is the proper date for buying a Christmas tree and putting it up?

(Signed) Curious Shopper

Dear “Buy” Curious, Traditionally, Christmas trees went up on Dec. 13 to mark the 12 days of Christmas.

Some, however, waited until the second Sunday of advent.

With retailers popping up Christmas crapola the minute back-to-school season ends, today’s households are confused about when to set up the old Tannenbaum. The Christmas Tree Growers Association (yes, this is real thing) says any day after Dec. 1st is a good time to purchase and put up a tree. They also note, however, that closer to the middle of December you wait the better, so the tree is full of needles come Christmas Day. If you ask me, I say put the damn thing whenever you want and have time. Family customs take precedence during the holidays, so if you deck the halls on Black Friday, go for it! Heck, if you haul out the holly in October, have a good time! But, if you grab the garland in September—go screw yourself.

Dear Ruthie, How long are you supposed to keep your Christmas tree up?

Ba-Hum-Bug, Holiday Hater

Christmas Eve Services 4pm and 11pm 2717 E. Hampshire St. Milwaukee (414) 964-1513 www.plymouth-church.org Service Sundays 9:30 30 | D E C E M B E R 1 3 , 2 0 1 8

Dear Hater, At my house, the tree is up until Easter.

The holiday experts, however, say you should keep it up until Jan. 7, the day after the epiphany (according to the Bible, the arrival of the three kings at Christ’s manger). Do what you want, sweetie. It’s your call... if you don’t mind Hell.

::RUTHIE’SSOCIALCALENDAR Dec. 12— “Where Was Christmas” with Jerry Grillo at The Jazz Estate (2423 N. Murray Ave.): Local hero Jerry Grillo releases his original holiday song “Where Was Christmas” with this 8 p.m. show. Along with his four-piece band, Jerry offers up holiday standbys, jazz greats and more, making this a great change-of-pace evening this season.

Dec. 13—Annual Holiday Party at Fluid (819 S. Second St.): Food, drinks and drag! Enjoy the trifecta of cheer when the gang at Fluid hosts this annual soiree. The 6 p.m. bash includes catered food, drink specials and a 9 p.m. drag show with several local favorites, hosted by Dita Von. Cheers!

Dec. 13—Opening night of Cole & Noel at Off the Wall Theatre (127 E. Wells St.): Ring in the holidays with Cole Porter and Noel Coward during this toe-tapping musical that celebrates the legendary songwriters. A cast of 16 performs more than 30 classic songs, accompanied by fun-loving dance routines and plenty of laughs.

Get your $30 tickets at offthewalltheatre.com or call the box office at (414) 484-8874.

The production runs through Dec. 31, when you can take in a special New Year’s Eve performance with cocktails and appetizers for $60.

Dec. 14—“Christmas in the Basilica” at Basilica of St. Josaphat (2333 S. Sixth St.): The Bel Canto Chorus honors it’s 10th anniversary with this concert of beloved carols and holiday favorites. Catch one of three performances through Dec. 16, with tickets starting at $15. Stop by belcanto.org and order yours today.

Dec. 15—Ghosts of Christmas Past Walking Tour (Various Downtown locations): Join the team at Milwaukee Ghost Tours as they introduce you to some of the city’s most spooky citizens. The 6-7 p.m. walk is $12 and begins in front of the Pabst Theater, on the corner of Wisconsin and Wells. As the song goes, “There’ll be scary ghost stories, and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago.”

Dec. 15-16—“The 12 Gays of Christmas” at Plymouth Church (2717 E. Hampshire Ave.): The City of Festivals Men’s Chorus presents this concert, featuring traditional (and a few not-so-traditional) songs that are sure to get you in the yuletide mood. You’ll also find a silent auction at the family-friendly event. See www.cityoffestivalsmenschorus.org for showtimes and $15 tickets (or pay $20 at the door).

Dec. 16—Sunday Showtunes at This Is It! (418 E. Wells St.): Sing out, Louise!

Join in on the sing-along or sit back and watch the fun when the Milwaukee Metropolitan Community Church hosts a 2:30 pm afternoon of songs and silliness. Raffles prizes, two-for-one drinks, endless mimosas and more make for a Sunday Funday for the books!

Dec. 17-27—Mary’s Holiday Market at Mary’s Arcade (734 S. Fifth St.): Need a few extra Christmas gifts? Can’t find a gift for the bugger that has everything? (Don’t you hate those people?) Shop local when you swing by this indoor marketplace of vendors, crafters, makers and more! Grab a frosty drink or order up a burger from Hamburger Mary’s while you do a little last-minute shopping. The market opens at 6 p.m. most days but call Hamburger Mary’s at 414-488-2555 for exact hours and vending opportunities.

Ask Ruthie a question and share your events at dearruthie@shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie. Don’t miss her hilarious reality show on YouTube—“Camp Wannakiki!”

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::MYLGBTQPoint of View

::BLACKBLUE&RAINBOW

The Batman vs. Superman Complex

I

Dignity MKE brings comfort to LGBTQ Catholics ::BY PAUL MASTERSON

I

n yet another move of papal palace intrigue, Roman Catholic Pope Francis released a new book, The Strength of Vocation. Within it, he places blame for Church ills on homosexual priests and their “affections.” The scapegoating may be a pontifical gambit to outmaneuver opponents like conservative Cardinal “Cappa Magna” Burke, the vestment fetishist extraordinaire who blames Church “feminization” as the source of its problems.

But, as the Church’s internal Shakespearean plot thickens, the groundlings of its flock go about their spiritual business, trying to be good Catholics. Some are LGBTQs who remain clandestinely active as members of their traditional congregations. Others have turned to Dignity USA. Founded in the pre-Stonewall era, Dignity offered an affirmation and acceptance of LGBTQ Catholics. But, in 1986, the Vatican denied use of Church facilities to groups in dissent of certain teachings. That included Dignity, even though it represents the views of most Catholics share on civil rights for samesex relationships. Undeterred, it evolved into an independent non-profit organization as an “Intentional Eucharistic Community” (IEC), where Catholics gather outside of Church structure. Today, it has 35 chapters, some with women presiding, serving nearly 3,000 members with 20,000 followers on digital media.

The IEC has four national caucuses for young adults, the aging, transgender individuals and SHEPHERD EXPRESS

the Leather/Levi community.

Locally, Dignity Milwaukee is experiencing its second iteration. The original chapter thrived until the mid-1990s, when, due to the evolution of accepting churches, it faded into dormancy. Today it is a recognized “resurrection chapter” of new vitality. Explaining why, Dignity USA Executive Director Marianne Duddy-Burke cited the Pulse nightclub massacre and the larger religious freedom attacks on the LGBTQ community that have created a renewed “need and longing” for congregations that are unconditionally affirming. “There’s a sense of threat and danger, perhaps as a push back to same-sex marriage and rise of a hate speech climate,” she said.

Brian Burmesch, president of the Dignity Milwaukee, represents the typical profile of its members. Raised in a devoutly Roman Catholic tradition, he takes his faith seriously. In fact, he intended to become a priest but left the Church instead. “Leaving was difficult but it was that or living with the fear of being kicked out. I knew churches’ views on gay priests.

But, I’m not going to change who I am,” Burmesch acknowledged. Like other Dignity members, Burmesch looked to alternatives for spiritual solace, but returned to Catholicism’s familiar comfort with a mission. “I went to another church but came back. Now, being involved with Dignity, we are all working towards the same goal of acceptance within the Catholic Church,” Burmesch said.

Dignity MKE meets at Village Church in Downtown Milwaukee on the first and third Sundays every month, at 6 p.m. It also celebrates a liturgy. Lead by a deacon approved by the Archdiocese who brings communion, the service reflects the character of the traditional Catholic Mass. Mentioning this and other rites, like the Station of the Cross, Burmesch explained “By taking certain aspects, and new ones, it brings other intimate elements to the fore that are welcoming and comforting without the pressure or negative memories of the full Catholic experience.”

For information on Dignity USA, visit dignityusa.org or Dignity MKE Facebook page at facebook.com/dignitymilwaukee.

::BY CHRISTOPHER WALTON

’ve come up with this grand theory about people leaving Milwaukee for places like Houston and Atlanta. I call it the “Batman vs. Superman Complex.”

Batman was a locally grown hometown hero. He had money, power and success. He could do what he wanted, but he chose to stay home and fix his community with all of those abilities. On the other hand, you have Superman, who had to move from where he was born because his planet was about to explode. But, when he got to his new home, he developed extraordinary powers that, if he had stayed home, wouldn’t even be noteworthy.

Many African Americans in Milwaukee face those same options. Stay in Milwaukee and save it from the things that can destroy it (lack of educational funding, poverty, hyper segregation, mass incarceration, the menacing caravan of Subarus beginning to show up near North Avenue) or leave Milwaukee and move to a place where their abilities are way more powerful, accepted and nurtured.

I’ve explored both options. I went to college out of state. Full disclosure, I am a proud descendant of the state of Mississippi via my grandmothers from Baldwyn and Kosciusko, respectively. I am also a proud alumnus of Mississippi State University. I was once told that “one of the saddest days in Mississippi is college graduation day.” Why? Because most Mississippi students who are graduating from college typically pack up and head out to other places like Tennessee, Texas or Atlanta. I was an out-of-state student myself, so I headed back to Milwaukee. Mississippi is a wonderful state with a vibrant culture and pleasantly enjoyable people; despite its dubious history, it’s a fun place to sit a spell. Mississippi, though, is a net exporter of its most highly educated people.

Wisconsin has joined the ranks of Mississippi in being a net exporter of its most educated residents. The “great” job market that you hear about from the White House has left much to be desired, especially outside of major American cities and the coasts. You shouldn’t have to work two jobs and drive for Uber/Lyft to make a living wage. Milwaukee will hopefully get some assistance in the form of the new Evers/Barnes administration in Madison. Unless this happens, the surge will continue of minorities and educated people leaving the city and state to other, more forward-moving, much more progressive-thinking and proactive local and state environments.

We need leaders who will create and fight for policies and systemic changes that will balance the scales—not in the direction of being just “open for business,” but open for everyone in the state. As a citizen of our fair city, I believe there needs to be a change of perception about Milwaukee from the entire state of Wisconsin. Wisconsin would not exist as it is without Milwaukee. Our diversity, economic power and national reach is unrivaled.

THE “GREAT” JOB MARKET THAT YOU HEAR ABOUT FROM THE WHITE HOUSE HAS LEFT MUCH TO BE DESIRED, ESPECIALLY OUTSIDE OF MAJOR AMERICAN CITIES AND THE COAST. YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO WORK TWO JOBS AND DRIVE FOR UBER/LYFT TO MAKE A LIVING WAGE. Milwaukee is the California of Wisconsin. But what are the solutions to fix the problems?

How are our elected leaders, blue ribbon panels and numerous nonprofits actually going to fix the problems that exist here, both perceived and real?

As a millennial, I lament the fact that the “real jobs” that our parents and grandparents worked either no longer exist or are about to become automated and removed from the scene in the not-so-distant future. We need to bring 21st-century jobs to the state if you want to create more “Batmans” than “Supermans.” Instead of talking about what the millennials are “destroying,” let’s talk about how to interest them.

Good, reliable public transportation would help retain them. Affordable housing is crucial, since we can’t afford to buy houses because our degrees have already given us a mortgage-level of student loan debt.

I don’t know what the answer to this problem is, honestly, but this is a problem we need to figure out, or at least start working on, before the next college graduates walk across the stage to their waiting cars in June 2019.

D E C E M B E R 1 3 , 2 0 1 8 | 31

::MUSIC

For more MUSIC, log onto shepherdexpress.com

JOSH CHEUSE

FEATURE | ALBUM REVIEWS | CONCERT REVIEWS | LOCAL MUSIC

Chris Porterfield on Field Report’s Unwritten Future ::BY EVAN RYTLEWSKI ield Report has come a long way since the early 2010s, an era when the search for the next Justin Vernon inevitably led to some of the guys who had played with Vernon. In the years since the group’s eponymous 2012 debut, the lineup backing songwriter Chris Porterfield has completely turned over, as the group shifted away from purist folk and roots rock and toward something a little harder to pin down—music that, as Porterfield tells it, asks more from the audience while hopefully rewarding that buy-in. Ahead of a holiday show at Turner Hall Ballroom on Friday, Dec. 14, billed as “An Evening with Field Report and Friends,” Porterfield chatted with the Shepherd Express about touring behind the group’s uplifting, electronic-tinged new album Summertime Songs, and about playing the long game.

I didn’t know you were such a Christmas fan.

Well, ’tis the season I guess [laughs]. It’s not going to be a full-on Christmas show. I want to make that clear. It’s a Field Report show. We’re going to be touching on material from the three Field Report records and additionally supplementing some of that. Everybody in the band— which is Tom Wincek, Barry Clark, Devin Drobka and Caley Conway—comes to Field Report from totally different places. Each of their lenses is super valuable and affects how the material is presented. So, we decided to take an opportunity to let everybody have some time in the set where they can present holiday music that is meaningful to them, and bring on whoever they’d like to perform it with, just as a special, one-night-only, Milwaukee, end-ofthe-year, end-of-the-album cycle experiment.

It must be nice to shake it up and challenge yourself a little bit.

Yeah, it is. I don’t think it’s quite sabotage, but I like to stay a little bit uncomfortable and stay on our toes to see what could happen. This is part of that. And, it seemed like a good moment to reflect. Field Report has been around since 2012, the lineup has changed and the way we present stuff has changed. Things that excite us have changed. So, this seemed like a good way to check in with

32 | D E C E M B E R 1 3 , 2 0 1 8

the whole body of work and present it in a way that’s of this moment for us.

How was the tour behind Summertime Songs?

It was pretty good. We went all over the country. We had more people at pretty much every show than we’ve ever had before. We’re on a slow arc of a thing. I really like that. There was a moment, early on, when people thought—and maybe I might have believed it for a second, too—that we were going to be... well, that we were going to have the cultural cachet of the moment. But then the moment changed, and we changed too. So, we’re on our own path and it feels really good to be there, honestly.

The ship to cool has sailed for us. But, now we just get to do work and build our audience one at a time. Build a relationship with them. Earn their trust. It seems to be working. More people showed up this time around than ever before.

I think you’ve done a good job divorcing yourself from that moment. I don’t think you want to only be remembered as the band that was kind of a thing when folk music was kind of a thing.

Yeah, it’s interesting. A lot of our peers and contemporaries that started making music publicly around the

same time we did, they’ve either stopped at this point or they are kind of stuck in that snap shot. And, we’re not.

We’re a little more slippery, I guess. But, I think that’s an asset. That’s something we’re proud of.

Your sound has obviously changed a lot, but do you think your songwriting has, too?

I do, yeah. I feel like I’m almost to a point where I’m getting to where I’m aiming at. Things are getting leaner.

Things are getting a little less clever. This is going to be the last show on this record and I’m sort of deep in the throes of writing whatever’s next. And I’m really excited about that stuff. But, I still like the songs on Summertime Songs, too. I feel like we built those to have a longer emotional shelf like that we have in the past. Some of the change is just in how I see the world, too. I’ve learned now that in writing songs and making records and playing shows, that those are three completely different disciplines. And something that works well in one of them might not in another. If you take the time to write songs and then make a record, you’ve got to make sure that you’re leaving enough room for bettering yourself to grow and change, but also for the listener to climb in and be able to respond to it in a way that’s uniquely theirs, because that’s when the circuit is complete. So, you have to build in room for the listener.

There’s still some risk involved in making a song a living thing, though. Even now, sometimes I’ll go to a show, and part of me will just want to hear the songs as they are on the record. Once you’ve made a connection to a particular version of a song, it’s hard to break.

I think that’s a normal thing to default to. But, ultimately, the way I approach this project, it does require some trust from the audience. We’re not trying to weed people out, but we want to develop the trust of an audience that wants to see a band present something in a way that feels authentic in that moment. Sometimes, it’s a pretty straight read on the record. But, sometimes, it’s different. I’ve always respected songwriters and bands who have enough trust in their audience to expect or request some trust back, whether that’s somebody like Neil Young or Dylan or Joni Mitchell.

But, especially with this lineup, there’s so much potential for improvisation, which is totally different from jamming—it’s a completely different thing. It’s just being able to be in the moment, and to present the work with people you trust and believe in, and just take a breath, and just see what Field Report the moment, the room, and Friends the song, all those things Turner Hall coming together, seeing Ballroom what that’s like and what it’s asking for. That’s a really Friday, important part of what I dig Dec. 14, 8 p.m. about this project. That can be a hard thing to explain.

It can be hard to get everybody on the same page, especially the first time. But, we’re just starting. This project, even though it’s been around for a few years now, this is just the beginning. We’re going to be doing this for a really long time. We’re going to slowly find the people who like that and want that, and we’re going to build it with them.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::::LOCALMUSIC © ALTERED FIVE LLC

::CONCERTREVIEW

Thom Yorke Dug Deep into His Solo Catalogue at the Riverside ::BY THOMAS MICHALSKI

Altered Five Blues Band

I

n an unusual alignment of pop-cultural forces, Milwaukee has been graced by the presence of the composers of two separate soundtracks to the horror film Suspiria in the span of a single month—the first being Goblin, who lent their ominous prog to Dario Argento’s 1977 giallo original and recently appeared at the Oriental Theater, the second being Thom Yorke, who lent his paranoid sensibilities to the current, critically lauded remake. It’s an embarrassment of riches, but the similarities ended there, mostly because, for his rare Milwaukee performance, the eccentric Radiohead frontman chose to focus on other solo material as opposed to his latest score.

Opening the evening for Yorke at the Riverside Theater on Wednesday was Oliver Coates, a concert cellist turned experimental composer who combines his classical training with a bracing dash of raw electronica. Yet, aside from the occasional synthesized voice or broken beat, the old-school string instrument was still the main attraction, albeit fed-back, looped and generally mangled in a way that would make John Cale and/or Cage proud. While the set was far too ambient for what you might normally expect from a warm-up act, this particular audience was more than receptive to it to the point where they broke into a brief round of applause simply because he name-checked Brian Eno. During the brief intermission, people continued to slowly filter into, but not exactly fill, the upper seats of theater. The empty seats were surprising for such a high-profile and heavily marketed show, but no one ever went to a concert and complained about all the additional legroom, especially one as captivating as this. As soon as Yorke and his nondescript-dressed backing band took the stage, to which, with its stark-white synthesizer consoles flanked by six massive video screens resembling the bridge of some TV starship, the audience was all but transfixed, starting with “Interference” from Yorke’s second solo outing, 2014’s Tomorrow’s Modern Boxes.

From there, the emphasis continued to be on his respectable amount of non-Radiohead output, whether it be The Eraser’s “Black Swan,” “Default” from the oddball supergroup Atoms for Peace or even the as-yet unreleased “I’m a Very Rude Person.”

Accompanied by elaborate visuals that looked something like the result of feeding the Mars Rover LSD, the lengthy set of deep cuts and B-sides curiously eschewed much of Suspiria, the ostensible reason for the tour, until the end of a lengthy encore. But, if Yorke’s set bore little connection to the film it was presumably meant to promote, it was still a musical tour de force.

Altered Five Blues Band is Dynamic, Modern and Traditional

MELISSA MILLER

B

Thom Yorke

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN

lues can be the easiest music in the world to play but the hardest to get right. Altered Five Blues Band has got it down. On the title track of their new album, Charmed & Dangerous, the Milwaukee combo performs a familiar story of male assertion that was born in the Mississippi Delta and migrated north to Chicago. It’s been heard a hundred thousand times already, but they deliver it with grit and soul. The singer is believably charming as well as dangerous.

Altered Five have been at it since 2002 and they have been prolific. Charmed & Dangerous is their fourth album—their first for the long-running Blind Pig blues label. Some of their power and lived-in authenticity derives from singer Jeff Taylor, who steeled his voice in local R&B groups before joining Altered Five. But he is matched beat for beat by guitarist Jeff Schroedl, whose instrument sings. Raymond Tevich thickens the sound on keyboards, while bassist Mark Solveson and drummer Alan Arber lay down a rolling beat.

“We’re focused on getting the songs across,” says Schroedl about their studio work. “Before we hit the studio, we spend a lot of time working out the arrangements and getting the lyrics to jive with the groove and overall vibe of the music. We also test out as many songs as possible at live shows before we record. It’s really hard to replicate a live feel in the studio, but we’d like to think that the recordings still have a lot of energy.”

Unlike some bands who assume they can do it alone, Altered Five accepted guidance on Charmed & Dangerous and on their previous album, Cryin’ Mercy, from a veteran producer. Tom Hambridge has earned several Grammy awards and worked with Buddy Guy, Susan Tedeschi, George Thorogood and James Cotton. “We really jell with him,” Schroedl says. “He’s sharp and quickly diagnoses a song from all angles. It’s great to have another perspective from someone we trust.” Hambridge, Schroedl continues, “made several suggestions during the Charmed sessions—from subtle things between instruments to ideas about the form and delivery.”

Even before signing with Blind Pig, Altered Five enjoyed a measure of acclaim within the blues subculture. Cryin’ Mercy was recognized as “Best Self-Released CD” at the 2015 International Blues Challenge in Memphis Altered Five and, Schroedl says, “a few songs from that record have been covered by Blues Band other bands, in the states and abroad.” Charmed & Dangerous has received ample airplay on SiriusXM’s “Bluesville” program and was nominated for a Shank Hall 2018 Blues Music Award.

Friday, Dec. 14, “As long as there are men and women, blues music will be just fine,” says 8 p.m.

Schroedl, answering charges that the genre is more important as history than for speaking directly to today’s audience. “There are plenty of artists pushing the blues forward; the music is in good hands with people like Gary Clark Jr., Keb’ Mo’, Tedeschi Trucks Band and others. We attended the Blues Music Awards in Memphis last May and the room was filled with dynamic, modern blues musicians and fans.”

As for Milwaukee, Altered Five are happy to use their hometown as a base, citing, among other things, the proliferation of blues festivals in the Midwest and the city’s location. Schroedl checks off Michigan, Illinois, Iowa, Minnesota, New York, Florida and Montana among the states where Altered Five has played. “Most shows are drivable, so it’s good to be centrally located, although we fly from time to time.” He also appreciates the support Altered Five has received from Milwaukee blues societies. “Our local scene is diverse. Some ventures cater toward cover bands, so we had to work through those challenges early on, but we’re comfortable playing mostly original music at all our shows these days,” Schroedl says.

Altered Five Blues Band perform Dec. 14 at Shank Hall.

D E C E M B E R 1 3 , 2 0 1 8 | 33

Mamie’s 3300 W. NATIONAL AVE. MILWAUKEE, WI 53215 (414) 643-1673

Christmas Party Saturday, December 15 2 p.m.-close

The Blues Disciples 8:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m.

FOOD. BEER. MUSIC

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Santa and his help will be there with gifts for everyone and, hopefully, sober!

Bring in a new, unwrapped toy for a needy family in the area and we’ll buy you a drink of your choice!

MUSIC::LISTINGS To list your event, go to shepherdexpress.com/events and click submit an event

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 13

Art*Bar, Open Mic Comedy Cactus Club, Bird Streets w/Daydream Retrievers & Cabin Essence Caroline’s Jazz Club, Pocket Change County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Acoustic Irish Folk w/Barry Dodd Jazz Estate, Robin Pluer Festive Night w/MRS. FUN & Juli Wood Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Ben Clark Memorial Lucky Joe’s Tosa, Matt MF Tyner Mason Street Grill, Mark Thierfelder Jazz Trio (5:30pm) Matty’s Bar & Grille (New Berlin), Customer Appreciation Cocktail Party w/The Acoustix (6pm) Mezcalero Restaurant, Ultimate Open Jam w/host Abracadabra O’Donoghues Irish Pub (Elm Grove), The All-Star SUPERband (6pm) On the Bayou, Open Mic Comedy w/host The Original Darryl Hill Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Brecken Miles Duo Rounding Third Bar and Grill, World’s Funniest Free Comedy Show Saloon on Calhoun with Bacon, Amplified Artist Sessions presents: The Rumskis Shank Hall, Matthew Curry The Back Room at Colectivo, The Moth StorySLAM: Instincts The Bay Restaurant, Xeno & Joe The Blind Horse Restaurant & Winery, Robert Allen Jr. Band (5pm) The Packing House Restaurant, Barbara Stephan & Peter Mac (6pm) Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Martini Jazz Lounge Turner Hall Ballroom, John Denver Christmas w/Chris Collins & Boulder Canyon Up & Under Pub, A No Vacancy Comedy Open Mic

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 14

Alley Cat Lounge (Five O’Clock Steakhouse), Ali & Doug Duo American Legion Post #399 (Okauchee), Tony Rocker American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), Caught In Action 2 (CIA 2) Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Julie’s Piano Karaoke Art*Bar, Ian Leith Boone & Crockett, Kyle Feerick Bremen Cafe, Zosia Holden’s album release party Cactus Club, Uranium Club w/Dogs in Ecstasy, Usufruct and Bric-A-Brac Records DJs Caroline’s Jazz Club, The Paul Spencer Band w/James Sodke, Andy Spadafora, Michael Ritter & Eric Jacobson Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Sleeper Sound w/Warhola Cats (8pm); DJ: The Nile & Stephen (10pm) ComedySportz Milwaukee, ComedySportz Milwaukee!

County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Traditional Irish Ceilidh Session Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Open Jam Session w/Steve Nitros & Friends Jazz Estate, Nineteen Thirteen (8pm), Late Night Session: Anthony Deutsch Trio (11:30pm) Lakefront Brewery, Brewhaus Polka Kings (5:30pm) Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Chris Haise Band w/Fiona Blue & Bryan Cherry Mamie’s, Michael Charles Band Mason Street Grill, Phil Seed Trio (6pm) Miramar Theatre, Shlump w/Conrank (all-ages, 9pm) Pabst Milwaukee Brewery & Taproom, Matt MF Tyner Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Gabriel V2 (9pm), In the Fire Pit: Kelli and the Soul Mates (9pm) Rock Country, Spiders From Milwaukee & The First Wave Schauer Arts Center, Harmonious Wail

Seven Hills Pub (Port Washington), Jonny T-Bird & the MPs Shank Hall, Altered Five Blues Band w/Steve Cohen Sloppy Joe’s (Hubertus), Robert Allen Jr. Band The Back Room at Colectivo, The Last Revel w/Al Scorch The Bay Restaurant, Harold Stewart & Friends The Packing House Restaurant, The Barbara Stephan Group (6:30pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, Home for the Holidays… An Evening with Field Report & Friends United Community Center, Bembé’s Nochebuena! Parrandas & Holiday Show Up & Under Pub, MilBillies

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 15

American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), Nostalgia Anodyne Coffee , Mike Mangione & The Kin Art*Bar, Countyr-Western Xmas party w/A Western Edge Boomers Sports Bar (Pewaukee), The Carpetbaggers Cactus Club, Benefit Show for MKE LGBTQ Community Center & The Trevor Project w/Uranium Club, Beggar, Detenzione & Dagger (all-ages, 3pm), Conan Neutron & the Secret Friends Rally Split 7” release show w/Slander Cannon & Nonagon (21+, 9pm) Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Lamplighter: Peter Mulvey, Shrug, SistaStrings Caroline’s Jazz Club, The Paul Spencer Band w/James Sodke, Andy Spadafora, Michael Ritter & Dave “Smitty” Smith Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Hullmen w/The Ponymen (8pm); DJ: PsycheDelicatessen (10pm) City Lights Brewing Company, Derek Byrne & Paddygrass Coffeeville Company (Jackson), Jonny T-Bird & Big Dad (11am) ComedySportz Milwaukee, ComedySportz Milwaukee!

Company Brewing, The Mary Nohl Variety Show and 15th Anniversary Party Cue Club of Wisconsin (Waukesha), Robert Allen Jr. Band Five O’Clock Steakhouse, Rafael Mendez Hilton Milwaukee City Center, Vocals & Keys Ivy House, Vitrolum Republic w/Sad Daddy Ixonia Pub, Joe Kadlec Jazz Estate, Cigarette Break (8pm), Late Night Session: Ben Dameron Quartet (11:30pm) Kick Switch Bar And Grill (Okauchee), KatzSass Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, The Form w/The Atomic Spins, Lisa Ridgely & Ricky Ganiere Mamie’s, Christmas Party w/The Blues Disciples Mason Street Grill, Jonathan Wade Trio (6pm) Matty’s Bar & Grille (New Berlin), Winter Music: David Bruce McAuliffe’s Pub (Racine), Toys for Ttos Benefit w/Shots n’ Ladders & Slaughter Party Mezcalero Restaurant, The Ricochettes Paulie’s Pub and Eatery, The Sensations Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: 89 Mojo (9pm); In the Fire Pit: Brewtown Beat (9pm) Rave / Eagles Club, Lee Brice w/Josh Phillips (all-ages, 8pm) Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), Fight The Fury (ages 18-plus, 8pm) Shank Hall, No Quarter (Led Zeppelin tribute) The Back Room at Colectivo, Valley Maker The Cheel (Thiensville), Trapper Schoepp The Packing House Restaurant, Lem Banks, Jeff Stoll, Alvin Turner & Omar (6:30pm) Three Lions Pub, Mic Over Matter Turner Hall Ballroom, Piff The Magic Dragon Up & Under Pub, Dr. Sinclair

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 16

Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Live Karaoke w/Julie Brandenburg Angry Brothers Pub (Mt. Pleasant), The Albert Rd. Band Cactus Club, Milwaukee Record Halftime Show: Secret Band (11:30am) Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Lamplighter: Peter Mulvey, Bill Camplin, SistaStrings Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Mike’s Classic Country Christmas (8pm); DJ: John Riepenhoff & Sara Caron (10pm) Dugout 54, Dugout 54 Sunday Open Jam Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, “Homeless Holidays” Blues Benefit w/ Jim Liban, Greg Koch, Kurt Koenig & Marc Wilson Mitchell Park Domes, Let There Be Light! ~ Christmas Concert with David HB Drake (1pm) Rave / Eagles Club, Scotty McCreery w/Walker McGuire & Heather Morgan (all-ages, 8pm) Rounding Third Bar and Grill, The Dangerously Strong Comedy Open Mic Sunset Grill Pewaukee, Full Band Open Jam (5pm) The Roadhouse (Dundee), The Jonny T-Bird Trio (4pm) VFW Post 5716 (New Berlin), John Frye Memorial Jam (1:30pm)

MONDAY, DECEMBER 17

Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Poet’s Monday w/host Timothy Kloss & featured reader Tim Kloss (sign-up 7:30pm, 8-11pm) Mason Street Grill, Joel Burt Duo (5:30pm) Paulie’s Pub and Eatery, Open Jam: Christopher John & Friends w/featured band Shank Hall, The Sleighriders w/The WhiskeyBelles Up & Under Pub, Open Mic w/Marshall McGhee and the Wanderers

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 18

Kim’s Lakeside (Pewaukee), Robert Allen Jr. & Friends (6pm) Mamie’s, Open Blues Jam w/Marvelous Mack Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) McAuliffe’s Pub (Racine), The Parkside Reunion Big Band Miramar Theatre, Tuesday Open Mic w/host Sandy Weisto (signup 7:30pm, all-ages) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Al White (4pm) Riverwest Jazz Gallery Center for the Arts, Jazz Jam Session Saloon on Calhoun with Bacon, CP & Stoll w/Chris Peppas & Jeff Stoll Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, The 10th Annual Xfer House Band Xmas Show

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 19

Caroline’s Jazz Club, Jimi Schutte American Blues High Dive, The Voodoohoney Pirates Hudson Business Lounge and Cafe, Jazz at Noon: Don Linke and Friends Iron Mike’s (Franklin), B Lee Nelson Acoustic Jam Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Polka Open Jam Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Acoustic Open Stage w/feature Hannah Weinberg-Kinsey (sign-up 8:30pm, start 9pm) Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Morton’s (Cedarburg), Rev. Raven & The Chain Smokin’ Altar Boys w/Westside Andy (6:30pm) Paulie’s Field Trip, Wednesday Night Afterparty w/Dave Wacker & guests Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Al White Sunset Grill Pewaukee, Robert Allen Jr. & Friends (6pm) Tally’s Tap & Eatery (Waukesha), Tomm Lehnigk The Cheel (Thiensville), Billy Flynn & Jim Schwarz Blues (6:30pm) The Packing House Restaurant, Carmen Nickerson & Kostia Efimov (6pm) Yardarm Bar and Grill (Racine), Jack and Jill Jazz w/Jack Grassel & Jill Jensen (6:30pm)

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D E C E M B E R 13 , 2 0 1 8 | 35

WHICH ONE IS IT?

THEME CROSSWORD

By James Barrick

PSYCHO SUDOKU! “Sum Sudoku”

Put one digit from 1-9 in each square of this Sudoku so that the following three conditions are met: 1) each row, column, and 3x3 box (as marked off by heavy lines in the grid) contains the digits 1-9 exactly one time; 2) no digit is repeated within any of the areas marked off by dotted lines; and 3) the sums of the numbers in each area marked off by dotted lines total the little number given in each of those areas. Now do what I tell you—solve!! psychosudoku@gmail.com

F A

© 2018 United Feature Syndicate, Dist. by Andrews McMeel Syndication

ACROSS 1. Belfry occupants 5. Stately 10. “— Secretary” 15. Pins 19. Nautical term 20. Tickle pink 21. Skip town with another 22. Toledo’s lake 23. Restore the status quo or make official?: 3 wds.

27. Discredit, in a way 28. Egg-white glaze 29. Of a bone 30. Turner or Condor 31. Serviceable 32. Judicious 34. Ascend 37. Cultural values 38. Bamboozle with eloquence: Hyph.

42. Heraldry animal 43. Glut 44. Cotton thread 45. Rest 46. Far-reaching or overpriced?: 3 wds.

52. West or Whitman 53. Senior 54. Roams 55. Exude a liquid 56. Supplies of firearms 58. Cemented 59. Window treatment 61. Snow field 62. — Boothe Luce 63. Game spoiler 64. Woolly 67. Small birds 68. Stadium event 72. Old Greek coin 73. Bullet 74. Catlike mammal of Madagascar 75. Bleat 36 | D E C E M B E R 1 3 , 2 0 1 8

76. Roomy or grasping?: 3 wds.

81. Great Basin tribe 82. Favorite place 83. A pronoun 84. Artist’s subject 85. Sent a text to 87. Challenged 89. Skipped all meals 91. Shortly 92. Instrument of India 93. Budgetary concern 94. Burn 97. Tricky act 98. Blindly allegiant 102. End or start to grow?: 3 wds.

106. Therefore 107. War vessel: Hyph.

108. Permission 109. Boast 110. Hunter’s or harvest 111. Smiles 112. Make ingress 113. Bugle call DOWN 1. Combo 2. — ferox 3. Tenure 4. Flour type 5. Repair a garment 6. “Pygmalion” flower girl 7. Look 8. Consumed 9. Prolong 10. Gallium, indium, etc.

11. Michael Caine role 12. Stage or storm 13. Cal. abbr.

14. Dues payer: Abbr.

15. BB 16. — go bragh!

17. Place near Memphis 18. Prophet

24. Genus of ducks 25. Hodgepodge 26. “Mansfield Park” author 31. Sheer 32. Winged creatures 33. Key 34. Body of mullahs 35. Disney subsidiary 36. Lariats 37. Roof parts 38. Nailed down 39. Man from Mars 40. Dwelled 41. Withholds 43. Scoot over 44. Seaside barrier 47. Day in the old Roman calendar 48. Toil 49. Bloom of “The Hobbit” 50. Trips 51. Concern of golfers 57. — Gay 58. Close or Miller 59. Corkwood 60. New Hampshire’s flower 62. Outer layer 63. Speaks hoarsely 64. — tenens

65. Lessen 66. Negative replies 67. Injury 68. Managerial group 69. Circa 70. Bea Arthur role 71. Facilitated 73. Port city in France 74. Let loose 77. Hindu deity 78. Schemer in a play 79. Valve of a kind 80. Gut reaction 86. Lox 87. Discourages 88. River in Italy 89. Quondam 90. — Spumante 92. Momentum 93. Cut to pieces 94. Check 95. Game fish 96. Ship of myth 97. Old Greek portico 98. Earthy fuel 99. Teasdale the poet 100. Surmounting 101. Tidings 103. Lump 104. Honest — 105. Mil. rank

Solution to last week’s puzzle

C O R N S A S C O B R E A T Q C R T A Q U I T E X H A L A O E N K T R A P E Z O I D E I Y C

W G H E

12/6 Solution

WORD FIND This is a theme puzzle with the subject stated below. Find the listed words in the grid. (They may run in any direction but always in a straight line. Some letters are used more than once.) Ring each word as you find it and when you have completed the puzzle, there will be 21 letters left over. They spell out the alternative theme of the puzzle.

Driving lessons Solution: 21 Letters

© 2018 Australian Word Games Dist. by Creators Syndicate Inc.

J

B R A E H Y P E R L I N K P V W Z L A T I A N Y H S E Y M G S A W S E E I

Air Amps Axle Bend Blame Bumper Bush Cable Cap Casualty Choke Core Damage Descent Emergency

Engine Expect Fail Fees Flat Free Gas Horn Idle Jet Keen Lethal Lift Mistakes Nap

Novice Oil Pass Petrol Pin Plug Points Power Rim Roof Safety Slow Smash Spare Sprocket

Stop Tank Test Tools Turn Valve View Volts

12/6 Solution: Can be enigmatic but we love them SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Solution: What a white knuckle ride!

G

R E M I N I S C E

Creators Syndicate 737 3rd Street • Hermosa Beach, CA 90254 310-337-7003 • info@creators.com

Date: 12/13/18

::FREEWILLASTROLOGY ::BY ROB BREZSNY SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?” Author John Green asked that question. I confess that I’m not entirely comfortable with it. It’s a bit pushy. I find I’m more likely to do remarkable things if I’m not trying too hard to do remarkable things.

Nevertheless, I offer it as one of your key themes for 2019. I suspect you will be so naturally inclined to do remarkable things that you won’t feel pressure to do so. Here’s my only advice: up the ante on your desire to be fully yourself; dream up new ways to give your most important gifts; explore all the possibilities of how you can express your soul’s code with vigor and rigor.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the fairy tale “Goldilocks and the Three Bears,” the heroine rejects both the options that are too puny and too excessive. She wisely decides that just enough is exactly right. I think she’s a good role model for you. After your time of feeling somewhat deprived, it would be understandable if you were tempted to crave too much and ask for too much and grab too much. It would be understandable, yes, but mistaken. For now, just enough is exactly right.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In 1140, two dynasties were at war in Weinsberg, in what’s now southern Germany. Conrad III, leader of the Hohenstaufen dynasty, laid siege to the castle at Weinsberg, headquarters of the rival Welf dynasty. Things went badly for the Welfs, and just before Conrad launched a final attack, they surrendered. With a last-minute touch of mercy, Conrad agreed to allow the women of the castle to flee in safety along with whatever possessions they could carry. The women had an ingenious response.

They lifted their husbands onto their backs and hauled them away to freedom. Conrad tolerated the trick, saying he would stand by his promise. I foresee a metaphorically comparable opportunity arising for you, Aquarius. It won’t be a life-or-death situation like that of the Welfs, but it will resemble it in that your original thinking can lead you and yours to greater freedom.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The National Center for Biotechnology Information reported on a 15-year-old boy who had the notion that he could make himself into a superhero.

First he arranged to get bitten by many spiders in the hope of acquiring the powers of Spider-Man. That didn’t work. Next, he injected mercury into his skin, theorizing it might give him talents comparable to the Marvel Comics mutant character named Mercury. As you strategize to build your power and clout in 2019, Pisces, I trust you won’t resort to questionable methods like those. You won’t need to!

Your intuition should steadily guide you, providing precise information on how to proceed. And it all starts now.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In 1930, some British mystery writers formed a club to provide each other with artistic support and conviviality. They swore an oath to write their stories so that solving crimes happened solely through the wits of their fictional detectives, and not through “Divine Revelation, Feminine Intuition, Mumbo Jumbo, Jiggery-Pokery, or Act of God.” I understand that principle, but don’t endorse it for your use in the coming weeks. On the contrary. I hope you’ll be on the alert and receptive to Divine Revelations, Feminine Intuition, Mumbo Jumbo, JiggeryPokery, and Acts of God. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When you’re prescribed antibiotic pills to fight off infection, you should finish the entire round. If you stop taking the meds partway through because you’re feeling better, you might enable a stronger version of the original infector to get a foothold in your system. This lesson provides an apt metaphor for a process you’re now undergoing. As you seek to purge a certain unhelpful presence in your life, you must follow through to the end. Don’t get lax halfway through. Keep on cleansing yourself and shedding the unwanted influence beyond the time you’re sure you’re free of it.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Danish scientist and poet Piet Hein wrote this melancholy meditation: “Losing one glove is certainly painful, but nothing compared to the pain of losing one, throwing away the other, and finding the first one again.” Let his words serve as a helpful warn-

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

ing to you, Gemini. If you lose one of your gloves, don’t immediately get rid of the second. Rather, be patient and await the eventual reappearance of the first. The same principle applies to other things that might temporarily go missing.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian author Elizabeth Gilbert is a soulful observer whose prose entertains and illuminates me. She’s well aware of her own limitations, however. For example, she writes, “Every few years, I think, ‘Maybe now I’m finally smart enough or sophisticated enough to understand Ulysses. So I pick it up and try it again. And by page 10, as always, I’m like, ‘What the hell?’” Gilbert is referring to the renowned 20th-century novel, James Joyce’s masterwork. She just can’t appreciate it. I propose that you make her your inspirational role model in the coming weeks.

Now is a favorable time to acknowledge and accept that there are certain good influences and interesting things that you will simply never be able to benefit from. And that’s OK! LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): More than three centuries ago, Dutch immigrants in New York ate a dessert known as the olykoek, or oily cake: sugar-sweetened dough deep-fried in pig fat.

It was the forerunner of the modern doughnut. One problem with the otherwise delectable snack was that the center wasn’t always fully cooked. In 1847, a man named Hanson Gregory finally found a solution. Using a pepper shaker, he punched a hole in the middle of the dough, thus launching the shape that has endured until today. I bring this to your attention because I suspect you’re at a comparable turning point. If all goes according to cosmic plan, you will discover a key innovation that makes a pretty good thing even better.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I can’t believe I’m going to quote pop star Selena Gomez.

But, according to my analysis of the current astrological omens, her simple, homespun advice could be especially helpful to you in the coming weeks. “Never look back,” she says. “If Cinderella had looked back and picked up the shoe, she would have never found her prince.” Just to be clear, Virgo, I’m not saying you’ll experience an adventure that has a plot akin to the Cinderella fairy tale. But I do expect you will benefit from a “loss” as long as you’re focused on what’s ahead of you rather than what’s behind you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Among the pieces of jewelry worn by superstar Elvis Presley were a Christian cross and a Star of David.

“I don’t want to miss out on heaven due to a technicality,” he testified. In that spirit, and in accordance with astrological omens, I urge you, too, to cover all your bases in the coming weeks. Honor your important influences. Be extra nice to everyone who might have something to offer you in the future.

Show your appreciation for those who have helped make you who you are. And be as open-minded and welcoming and multicultural as you can genuinely be. Your motto is “Embrace the rainbow.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Are you a gambling addict seeking power over your addiction? If you live in Michigan or Illinois, you can formally blacklist yourself from all casinos. Anytime your resolve wanes and you wander into a casino, you can be arrested and fined for trespassing. I invite you to consider a comparable approach as you work to free yourself from a bad habit or debilitating obsession. Enlist some help in enforcing your desire to refrain. Create an obstruction that will interfere with your ability to act on negative impulses.

Homework: Do a homemade ritual in which you vow to attract more blessings into your life. Report results at freewillastrology.com.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 877873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

::NEWS OF THE WEIRD ::BY THE EDITORS OF ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

The Terrorist of Inverclyde ohn Stevenson of Inverclyde, Scotland, hit a bump in his plans to vacation in the U.S. this month when his visa was denied after he declared himself to be a terrorist while filling out a Department of Homeland Security online form commonly known as the ESTA. One of the questions on the form asks, “Are you a terrorist?” Stevenson, 70, told The Independent that his “yes” response was in error, adding that the site kept timing out and crashing as he and his wife, Marion, tried to answer the many questions.

“I even called the border control in the U.S. and gave them my passport details,” he said.

“They looked up my ESTA number and said, ‘You’re a terrorist.’ The only time I’ve ever been in court was for jury service. I don’t know why that question is on the form in the first place.” Update: United Airlines refunded the Stevensons’ airline tickets and gifted them two free flights to New York once their visa troubles are all worked out.

Robber Boxed In A successful heist at an electronics retail store requires careful planning and attention to detail—a fact that appears to have escaped a man in North Raleigh, N.C., on Nov. 12.

That night, the News and Observer reported, an employee of the store called 911 to report that a man had entered the store with a semiautomatic weapon and ordered workers into the stockroom. He also has a cardboard box, which he used to load up mobile phones and smart watches. He filled the box as well as two crates from the store with merchandise totaling more than $26,000. When he left through the back door, he took the crates with him, but not the cardboard box he brought with him; the box sported a shipping label with a name and address on it. Police used it to track down Brian Clark, 22, and arrest him for armed robbery with a dangerous weapon and conspiracy to commit robbery.

Perfect for the Trump Administration Yoshitaka Sakurada, 68, a 22-year member of Japan’s parliament, was named by Prime Minister Shinzo Abe in October to two new posts: Cybersecurity Minister and Olympics Minister. But, according to Reuters, at a committee meeting on Nov. 14, when a member

of the opposition asked Sakurada about his computer skills, Sakurada admitted: “I’ve never used a computer; I’ve always directed my staff and secretaries to do that computer stuff.” He went on to assure lawmakers he’d do a fine job protecting Japan’s computers from hacking.

The Truth Hurts An unnamed substitute teacher in Montville, N.J., won’t be returning to Cedar Hill School after revealing a sacred secret to firstgrade students there on Nov. 29. Superintendent Rene Rovtar told NJ.com that the sub got into a debate with a student about whether Santa Claus is real. That’s when the 6-yearolds started quizzing her about the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and Elf on a Shelf, and the teacher “proceeded to debunk all of it,” Rovtar said. Parents reported doing “damage control” after the kids returned home from school, upset that their firmly held beliefs had been assailed. The sub is no longer welcome in the district.

Too Much of a Good Thing?

Things got “a little hectic” in Clarendon, Va., on Dec. 5, when an unexpectedly large number of delivery drivers convened at the Cheesecake Factory in response to a 40th anniversary promotion offering free cheesecake slices. The sweet treats were available only to those who ordered on DoorDash, ARLnow. com reported, and a crowd of delivery drivers double-parked outside and jostled for position inside the restaurant as they picked up orders.

Arlington County police and medics responded to reports of fights and disorderly conduct, resulting in arrests and minor injuries.

PETA Pedantry The animal rights group PETA launched a new campaign on Dec. 4 designed to remove some common animal-related idioms from the English language. CBS News reports the group tweeted suggested alterations to phrases it says are verbal vestiges of “speciesism” and perpetuate harmful messages. PETA offers these alternatives: For “bring home the bacon,” try “bring home the bagels.” “Take the bull by the horns” should be “take the flower by the thorns.” And “kill two birds with one stone” morphs into “feed two birds with one scone.” PETA likened the use of the original phrases to racist and homophobic language: “Phrases that trivialize cruelty to animals will vanish as more people begin to appreciate animals for who they are.” Reaction on social media was swift. Maybe PETA should just let sleeping…bags...lie. © 2018 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION D E C E M B E R 1 3 , 2 0 1 8 | 37

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A Gift from Heaven

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