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ASKTHEDENTIST:: SPONSORED CONTENT / BY DR. MURPHY

CHILD’S FIRST VISIT TO THE DENTIST Dear Dr. Murphy, I’m the mother of a soon-to-be 4 year old daughter. I can’t believe I haven’t gotten her into the dentist yet (worst parent of the year award?)! Can you tell me what to expect with a first visit? My daughter is reluctant to go now, probably because I waited too long. Help!

-Late to the Party Dear Late to the Party, While it is true that we do like to see children beginning around their first birthday, you shouldn’t beat yourself up about her first visit coming a bit later. Often the appointment around 3 or 4 years old is the first time we “polish” the teeth. Leading up to that, the visits are typically an exam of the teeth and soft tissues and are designed, in part, to get kids comfortable in a dental chair.

In my office, you would begin by filling out a complete medical and dental history for your daughter. This would include any past injuries to her mouth, any oral habits

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such as thumb sucking, and some questions regarding her current diet and tooth brushing habits. Many offices have this paperwork online, allowing you to fill it out ahead of time rather than in the waiting room with a restless toddler.

After reviewing her paperwork, the dental hygienist will call both of you back to the treatment room and might have a few additional questions for you. At the first visit, many kids climb right up into the chair. If your daughter is apprehensive, you could sit in the chair and she could start out on your lap. We have kids (and adults) wear shaded safety glasses. Some children don’t like the bright light and this makes them more comfortable; I have some patients that even bring their own sunglasses from home to wear. The hygienist then polishes her teeth. This is the same mechanical brush with paste that you experience at your own cleanings. We have many different flavors of paste and kids enjoy selecting the one that will be used on their teeth; Birthday Cake and Bubble Gum are favorites in my office! The hygienist will also explain how the air/ water syringe and suction works and will floss the teeth.

Her hygienist will be able to tell you if there are areas that have more plaque and require extra brushing and can give you pointers on helping her brush and floss at home.

Often x-rays are not taken at this age unless there is an area of concern. Once the cleaning is complete, the dentist comes in for an exam. This includes a full head and neck exam: checking lymph nodes, tongue and soft tissue in addition to the teeth. Occasionally, for children with a fear of medical professionals, I will even take my white jacket

off before I enter the room. We always appreciate any clues you can offer to make the experience a positive one for your child. After the exam, kids then pick a toy from the prize jar and a new toothbrush to take home. While some are disappointed that the jar isn’t filled with candy, this is also a favorite part of the appointment!

Some parents have their own dental fear and anxiety.

If this is the case, I generally recommend minimizing the amount of discussion around the appointment ahead of time. As you know, kids are great at sensing our nervousness and it can affect their own response to situations. Instead, you might read a children’s book about visiting the dentist for the first time. I hope that your daughter’s first visit is a huge success!

-Dr. Murphy

MEET DR. MURPHY Dr. Murphy was drawn to the handson field of dentistry for its artistic and aesthetic elements. She worked as a dental associate in the North Shore for five years, then established her own practice in 2010. A committed support staff aids her in providing quality, comprehensive oral health care to people of all ages, from toddlers to senior citizens.

Submit your questions at drmurphy@stephaniemurphydds.com.

OCTOBER 5, 2017 | 5

::NEWS&VIEWS ANSON STEVENS-BOLLEN

FEATURES | POLLS | TAKING LIBERTIES | ISSUE OF THE WEEK

The Stories the Media Missed ::BY PAUL ROSENBERG

For the past 28 years, the Shepherd Express has worked with Project Censored to help get these important, yet seldom reported, stories out to the American people. We have great respect for the researchers and reporters at Project Censored and are privileged to be able to work with them.

In America, we commonly think of press freedom and censorship in terms of the First Amendment, which focuses attention on the press itself and limits the power of government to restrict it. But the United Nations’ Universal Declaration of Human Rights, drafted in the aftermath of World War II, presents a broader framework. Article 19 reads: Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.

By highlighting the right to receive information and ideas, Article 19 makes it clear that press freedom is about everyone in society, not just the press, and that government censorship is only one potential way of thwarting that right. That’s the perspective that has informed Project Censored from its beginning, now more than 40 years ago.

Even though Project Censored’s annual list focuses on 10 specific censored stories, the underlying issue has never been isolated examples.

They serve to highlight how far short we fall from the fully informed pub-

6 | OCTOBER 5, 2017

lic that a healthy democracy requires—and that we all require in order to live healthy, safe, productive, satisfying lives. It’s the larger patterns of missing information, hidden problems and threats that should really concern us. Each Project Censored story provides some of that information, but the annual list helps shed light on these broader patterns of what’s missing, as well as on the specifics of the stories themselves.

For this year’s top 10 stories, three main themes clearly seem evident: 1) Threats to public health 2) Threats to democracy—at home and abroad 3) An out-of-control military But don’t let this overview pattern blind you to other patterns you may see for yourself. Even individual stories often involve different overlapping patterns—environmental destruction and an out-of-control military in item number seven (below), for example, or public health and infrastructure concerns in the first item. These patterns don’t just connect problems and issues; they connect people, communities and potential solutions as well. A shared understanding of the patterns that hold us down and divide us is the key to developing better patterns to live by together. And, with that thought in mind, here is Project Censored’s Top 10 List for 2016-’17.

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1. Widespread Lead Contamination Threatens Children’s Health and Could Triple Household Water Bills

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2. More Than $6 Trillion in Unaccountable Army Spending In 1996, the U.S. Congress passed legislation requiring all government agencies to undergo annual audits, but a July 2016 report by the Defense Department’s inspector general found that the Army alone has accumulated $6.5 trillion in expenditures that can’t be accounted for over the past two decades.

As Dave Lindorff reported for This Can’t Be Happening!, the Department of Defense “has not been tracking, recording or auditing all of the taxpayer money allocated by Congress— what it was spent on, how well it was spent or where the money actually ended up.” But the Army wasn’t alone. “Things aren’t any better at the Navy, Air Force and Marines,” he added.

The report appeared at a time when “politicians of both major political parties are demanding accountability for every penny spent on welfare.... Ditto for people receiving unemployment compensation,” Lindorff wrote.

Politicians have also engaged in pervasive efforts “to make teachers accountable for student ‘performance,’” he added. Yet, he observed, “the military doesn’t have to account for any of its trillions of dollars of spending... even though Congress fully a generation ago passed a law requiring such accountability.”

In March 2017, after President Donald Trump proposed a $52 billion increase in military spending, Thomas Hedges reported for The Guardian that, “the Pentagon has exempted itself without consequence for 20 years now, telling the Government Accountability Office that collecting and organizing the required information for a full audit is too costly and time consuming.” The most recent Department of Defense audit deadline was September 2017—yet neither the Pentagon, Congress nor the media seem to have paid any attention.

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After President Barrack Obama declared a federal emergency in Flint, Mich., based on lead contamination of the city’s water supply in January 2016, Reuters reporters M.B. Pell and Joshua Schneyer began an investigation of lead contamination nationwide with shocking results. In June 2016, they reported that although many states and Medicaid rules require blood lead tests for young children, millions of children were not being tested. In December 2016, they reported on the highly decentralized data they had been able to assemble from 21 states showing that 2,606 census tracts and 278 zip codes across the country had levels of lead poisoning more than double the rates found in Flint at the peak of its contamination crisis. Of those, 1,100 communities had lead contamination rates “at least four times higher” than Flint.

In that city, 5% of the children screened high blood lead levels. Nationwide, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimate that 2.5% of all U.S. children younger than six (some 500,000 children) have elevated blood lead levels.

But Pell and Schneyer’s neighborhood focus allowed them to identify local hotspots “whose lead poisoning problems may be obscured in broader surveys,” such as those focused on statewide or countywide rates. They found them in communities that “stretch from Warren, Penn., where 36% of children tested had high lead levels, to Goat Island, Texas, where a quarter of tests showed poisoning.”

What’s more, “in some pockets of Baltimore, Cleveland and Philadelphia, where lead poisoning has spanned generations, the rate of elevated tests over the last decade was 4050%.”

In January 2017, Schneyer and Pell reported that, based on their previous investigation, “from California to Pennsylvania, local leaders, health officials and researchers are advancing measures to protect children from the toxic threat. They include more blood-lead screening, property inspections, hazard abatement and community outreach programs.”

But there’s a deeper infrastructure problem involved, as Farron Cousins reported for DeSmogBlog in January 2017: “Lead pipes are time bombs,” and water contamination is to be expected, Cousins wrote. The U.S. relies on an estimated 1.2 million miles of lead pipes for municipal delivery of drinking water, and much of this aging infrastructure is reaching or has exceeded its lifespan.

In 2012, the American Water Works Association estimated that a complete overhaul of the nation’s aging water systems would require an investment of $1 trillion over the next 25 years, which could triple household water bills. As Farron Cousins reported, a January 2017 Michigan State University study found that, “while water rates are currently unaffordable for an estimated 11.9% of households, the conservative estimates of rising rates used in this study highlight that this number could grow to 35.6% in the next five years.” He concluded: “While the water contamination crisis will occasionally steal a headline or two, virtually no attention has been paid to the fact that we’re pricing a third of U.S. citizens out of the water market.”

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Things we want you to know: Offer valid on base-memory model. New consumer or small business (20 lines or less) port-in and a select Postpaid Plan required. 2GB Total Plan and 3GB Shared Connect Plan excluded. Purchase of device via 0% APR 30-month Retail Installment Contract, credit approval, qualifying Smartphone turn-in (for “On Us” promotional pricing) and Device Protection+ required. A $25 Activation Fee may apply. Tax due at sale. A Regulatory Cost Recovery Fee (currently $2.02) applies; this is not a tax or government required charge. Additional fees (including Device Connection Charges), taxes, terms, conditions and coverage areas may apply and vary by plan, service and phone. Offers valid at participating locations only and cannot be combined. See store or uscellular.com for details. Minimum monthly price of Device Protection+ is $8.99 ($9.99 on/after 11/2/2017) per Smartphone. A service fee/deductible per approved claim applies. You may cancel anytime. Property insurance is underwritten by American Bankers Insurance Company of Florida and provided under a Master Policy issued to U.S. Cellular. You will be the certificate holder on U.S. Cellular’s Master Policy for loss/theft benefits. Service Contract Obligor is Federal Warranty Service Corporation in all states except CA (Sureway, Inc.) and OK (Assurant Service Protection, Inc.). Limitations and exclusions apply. Ask an associate for more details. Smartphone turn-in: Smartphone must power on and cannot be pin locked. Device must be in fully functional working condition without any liquid damage or broken components, including, but not limited to, a cracked display or housing. Qualifying turn-in devices include: iPhone 6 or better, Samsung Galaxy S® 6 or better or Note 5. Offer with qualifying turn-in: “On Us” iPhone 8: Full price is $699. Customer will receive a $100 U.S. Cellular Promotional Card at the point of sale, balance of $599 comes via a monthly bill credit of $19.97 on a 30-month Retail Installment Contract; 0% APR. Bill credit applied within three bill cycles and ends when balance is paid. Line must remain in good standing. In the event of cancellation of service, customer will be responsible for the entire Retail Installment Contract balance. Available on new line activations. Early upgrade eligibility is forfeited if offer is taken. $100 U.S. Cellular Promotional Card given at point of sale, or mailed with device via direct fulfillment orders. Promotional Card issued by MetaBank,® Member FDIC, pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. Valid only for purchases at U.S. Cellular stores and uscellular.com. Card must be used by expiration date shown on card. Limited-time offer. Trademarks and trade names are the property of their respective owners. © 2017 U.S. Cellular 1Charging mat sold separately. 2iPhone 8 and iPhone 8 Plus are splash, water, and dust resistant and were tested under controlled laboratory conditions with a rating of IP67 under IEC standard 60529. Splash, water, and dust resistance are not permanent conditions and resistance might decrease as a result of normal wear. Do not attempt to charge a wet iPhone; refer to the user guide for cleaning and drying instructions. Liquid damage not covered under warranty. 3Display size is measured diagonally.

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3. Pentagon Paid British PR Firm for Fake Al-Qaeda Videos

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Concern over Russian involvement in promoting fake news during the 2016 election is a justified hot topic in the news, but what about our own involvement in similar operations? In October 2016, Crofton Black and Abigail Fielding-Smith reported for the Bureau of Investigative Journalism (BIJ) on one such very expensive—and questionable—operation. The Pentagon paid a British PR firm, Bell Pottinger, more than $660 million to run a top secret propaganda program in Iraq from at least 2006 to the end of 2011. The work consisted of three types of products: TV commercials portraying al-Qaeda in a negative light, news items intended to look like Arabic TV, and, most disturbingly, fake al-Qaeda propaganda films.

A former Bell Pottinger video editor, Martin Wells, told the BIJ that he was given precise instructions for production of fake alQaeda films, and that the firm’s output was approved by former general David Petraeus—then-commander of the coalition forces in Iraq—and on occasion by the White House.

They reported that the U.S. used contractors because “the military didn’t have the in-house expertise and was operating in a legal ‘grey area.’”

The reporters “traced the firm’s Iraq work through U.S. army contracting censuses, federal procurement transaction records and reports by the Defense Department’s inspector general, as well as Bell Pottinger’s corporate filings and specialist publications on military propaganda.” Black and Fielding-Smith also interviewed former officials and contractors involved in information operations in Iraq.

Also, documents show that Bell Pottinger employed as many as 300 British and Iraqi staff at one point; its media operations in Iraq cost more than $100 million per year on average.

It’s remarkable that an operation on this scale has been totally ignored in midst of so much focus on “fake news” here in the U.S.

4. Voter Suppression in the 2016 Presidential Election The 2016 election was the first election in 50 years without the full protection of the Voting Rights Act, first passed in 1965. In Shelby County v. Holder (2013), a 5-4 conservative majority in the Supreme Court struck down a key provision requiring jurisdictions with a history of violations to “pre-clear” changes.

As a result, changes to voting laws in nine states and parts of six others with long histories of racial discrimination in voting were no longer subject to federal government approval in advance.

Since Shelby, 14 states—including many Southern states and key swing states—implemented new voting restrictions, in many cases just in time for the election. These included

restrictive voter identification laws in Texas and North Carolina, English-only elections in many Florida counties, last-minute changes of poll locations and changes in Arizona voting laws that had previously been rejected by the Department of Justice before the Shelby decision.

Ari Berman, author of Give Us the Ballot: The Modern Struggle for Voting Rights in America, was foremost among a small number of non-mainstream journalists to cover the suppression efforts and their results. In May 2017, he reported on an analysis of the effects of voter suppression conducted by Priorities U.S.A, which showed that strict voter ID laws in Wisconsin and other states resulted in a “significant reduction” in voter turnout in 2016 with “a disproportionate impact on African American and Democratic-leaning voters.” Berman noted that turnout was reduced by 200,000 votes in Wisconsin; Trump won the state by just more than 22,000 votes.

Nationwide, the study found that the change in voter turnout from 2012 to 2016 was significantly impacted by new voter ID laws. In counties that were more than 40% African American, turnout dropped 5% with new voter ID laws, compared to 2.2% without. In counties that were less than 10% African American, turnout decreased 0.7% with new voter ID laws, compared to a 1.9% increase without. As Berman concluded, “this study provides more evidence for the claim that voter ID laws are designed not to stop voter-impersonation fraud, which is virtually nonexistent, but to make it harder for certain communities to vote.” He also noted in an article published by Moyers & Co. in December 2016 that the topic of “gutting” the Voting Rights Act did not arise once during the 26 presidential debates prior to the election, and “cable news devoted hours and hours to Trump’s absurd claim that the election was ‘rigged’ against him while spending precious little time on the real threat that voters faced.”

5. Big Data and Dark Money Behind the 2016 Election When Richard Nixon first ran for Congress in 1946, he and his supporters used a wide range of dirty tricks aimed at smearing his opponent as pro-communist, including a boilerroom operation generating phone calls to registered Democrats which simply said: “This is a friend of yours, but I can’t tell you who I am. Did you know that Jerry Voorhis is a communist?” Then the caller would hang up.

(Voorhis was Nixon’s Democratic opponent; Nixon won the election.)

In 2016, the same basic strategy was employed but with decades of refinement, technological advances and massively more money behind it. A key player in this was right-wing computer scientist and hedge-fund billionaire Robert Mercer, who contributed $13.5 million to Trump’s campaign and also funded Cambridge Analytica, a data analytics SHEPHERD EXPRESS

company that specializes in “election management strategies” and using “psychographic microtargeting,” which is based on thousands of pieces of data for some 220 million American voters, as reported by Carole Cadwalladr for The Guardian (February 2017). After Trump’s victory, Cambridge Analytica’s CEO, Alexander Nix, said: “We are thrilled that our revolutionary approach to data-driven communication has played such an integral part in President-elect Trump’s extraordinary win.”

Cambridge Analytica’s parent company, Strategic Communication Laboratories, was more old-school until recently in elections across Europe, Africa and the Caribbean. In Trinidad, it paid for the painting of graffiti slogans purporting to be from grassroots youth.

In Nigeria, it advised its client party to suppress the vote of their opposition “by organizing anti-poll rallies on the day of the election.”

But now they’re able to micro-target their deceptive, disruptive messaging. “Pretty much every message that Trump put out was data-driven” after they joined the campaign, Nix said in September 2016. On the day of the third presidential debate, Trump’s team “tested 175,000 different ad variations for his arguments” via Facebook.

This messaging had everything to do with how those targeted would respond, not with Trump’s or Mercer’s views. In a New Yorker profile, Jane Mayer noted that Mercer argued that the 1964 Civil Rights Act was a major mistake, a subject not remotely hinted at during the campaign.

“Suddenly, a random billionaire can change politics and public policy—to sweep everything else off the table—even if they don’t speak publicly and even if there’s almost no public awareness of his or her views,” Trevor Potter, former chair of the Federal Election Commission, told Mayer.

With the real patterns of influence, ideology, money, power and belief hidden from view, the very concept of democratic selfgovernance is now fundamentally at risk.

6. Antibiotic-Resistant “Superbugs” Threaten Health and Foundations of Modern Medicine The problem of antibiotics giving rise to more dangerous drug-resistant germs (popularly referred to as “superbugs”) has been present since the early days of penicillin but has now reached a crisis, with companies creating dangerous superbugs when their factories leak industrial waste, as reported by Madlen Davies of the Bureau of Investigative Journalism in September 2016. Factories in China and India—where the majority of worldwide antibiotics are manufactured— have released “untreated waste fluid” into local soils and waters, leading to increases in antimicrobial resistance that diminish the effectiveness of antibiotics and threaten the SHEPHERD EXPRESS

foundations of modern medicine.

“After bacteria in the environment become resistant, they can exchange genetic material with other germs, spreading antibiotic resistance around the world, according to an assessment issued by the European Public Health Alliance (EPHA), which served as the basis for Davies’ news report,” Projected Censored explained. One strain of drug-resistant bacterium that originated in India in 2014 has since spread to 70 other countries. Superbugs have already killed an estimated 25,000 people across Europe, thus globally posing “as big a threat as terrorism,” according to a U.K. National Health Service chief medical officer, Dame Sally Davies.

“At the heart of the issue is how to motivate pharmaceutical companies to improve their production practices. With strong demand for antibiotics, the companies continue to profit despite the negative consequences of their actions,” Project Censored noted. “The EPHA assessment recommended five responses that major purchasers of medicines could implement to help stop antibiotic pollution. Among these recommendations are blacklisting pharmaceutical companies that contribute to the spread of superbugs through irresponsible practices and promoting legislation to incorporate environmental criteria into the industry’s good manufacturing practices.”

Superbugs are especially threatening modern medicine, in which a wide range of sophisticated practices—organ transplants, joint replacements, cancer chemotherapy and care of pre-term infants—“will become more difficult or even too dangerous to undertake,” according to Margaret Chan, head of the World Health Organization. “Although the threat of antibiotic-resistant microbes is well documented in scientific publications, there is little to no coverage on superbugs in the corporate press,” Project Censored noted. “What corporate news coverage there is tends to exaggerate the risks and consequences of natural outbreaks (as seen during the Ebola scare in the U.S. in 2014) rather than reporting on the preventable spread of superbugs by irresponsible pharmaceutical companies.”

Once again, it’s not just a problem of suppressing a single story, but two overlapping patterns: the biological problem of superbugs and the political-economic problem of the corporate practices that produce them so wantonly.

CHICKEN BONES, TIN FOIL, AND GLITTER Installation view of MYTHOLOGIES: EUGENE VON BRUENCHENHEIN at the John Michael Kohler Arts Center, 2017.

NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE

Ordinary things made extraordinary Featuring works by Emery Blagdon, Loy Bowlin, David Butler, Eugene Von Bruenchenhein, and Stella Waitzkin.

FREE ADMISSION This exhibition is supported in part by a grant from the Wisconsin Arts Board with funds from the State of Wisconsin, the Wisconsin Department of Tourism, and the National Endowment for the Arts. Funding was also provided by the Institute of Museum and Library Services, Kohler Trust for the Arts and Education, Kohler Foundation, Inc., Herzfeld Foundation, and Sargento Foods Inc. The Arts Center thanks its many members for their support of exhibitions and programs through the year. The John Michael Kohler Arts Center is a 501(c)(3) (nonprofit) organization; donations are tax deductible.

WISCONSIN LEAGUE OF CONSERVATION VOTERS invites you to join us for hors d’oeuvres, an open bar, and the fight for clean drinking water in Wisconsin at the third annual

GREEN TIE GALA October 17, 2017 Pilot House at Discovery World featuring Flint water crisis whistleblower, Dr. Marc Edwards

7. The Toll of U.S. Navy Training on Wildlife in the North Pacific The U.S. Navy (USN) has killed, injured or harassed marine mammals in the North Pacific almost 12 million times over a five-year period, according to research conducted by the West Coast Action Alliance and reported

by Dahr Jamail for Truthout. This includes whales, dolphins, porpoises and sea lions, as Censored continued on next page >

Get tickets online at conservationvoters.org/green-tie-gala OCTOBER 5, 2017 | 9

NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE > Censored continued from previous page

well as endangered species like humpback whales, blue whales, gray whales, sperm whales, Steller sea lions and sea otters. The number was tabulated from the USN’s Northwest Training and Testing environmental impact statement and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s Letter of Authorization for the number of “takes” of marine mammals caused by Navy exercises.

“A ‘take’ is a form of harm to an animal that ranges from harassment to injury and sometimes to death,” Jamail wrote. “Many wildlife conservationists see even ‘takes’ that only cause behavior changes as injurious, because chronic harassment of animals that are feeding or breeding can end up harming [them] or even contributing to their deaths if they are driven out of habitats critical to their survival.”

As the Alliance noted, this does not include impacts on “endangered and threatened seabirds, fish, sea turtles or terrestrial species” due to USN activities (which have expanded dramatically), according to the Navy’s October 2015 environmental impact statement, including: A 778% increase in the number of torpedoes.

A 400% increase in air-to-surface missile exercises (including at the Olympic Coast National Marine Sanctuary).

A 1,150% increase in drone aircraft.

An increase from 0 to 284 sonar testing events in inland waters.

As for that last point, “it is, and has been for quite some time now, well known in the scientific community that the Navy’s use of sonar can damage and kill marine life,” Jamail reported.

“With little oversight on Navy training activities, the public is left in the dark regarding their environmental impacts, including especially how USN operations impact fish in the North Pacific and marine life at the bottom of the food chain,” Project Censored noted.

“There has been almost no coverage of these impacts in the corporate press.”

8. U.S. Maternal Mortality a Growing Threat The U.S. maternal mortality rate is rising, while it’s falling elsewhere across the developed world. Serious injuries and complications are needlessly even more widespread with shockingly little attention being paid.

“Each year, more than 600 women in the U.S. die from pregnancy-related causes, and more than 65,000 experience life-threatening complications or severe maternal morbidity,” Elizabeth Dawes Gay reported, covering an April 2016 congressional briefing organized by Women’s Policy Inc. “The average national rate of maternal mortality has increased from 12 per 100,000 live births in 1998 to 15.9 in 2012, after peaking at 17.8 in 2011.”

10 | O C T O B E R 5 , 2 0 1 7

“The U.S. is the only nation in the developed world with a rising maternal mortality rate,” Rep. Lois Capps stated at the meeting.

“Inadequate health care in rural areas and racial disparities are drivers of this maternal health crisis,” Project Censored summarized.

“Nationally, African American women are three-to-four times more likely than white women to die from pregnancy-related causes, with rates even higher in parts of the U.S. that Gay characterized as ‘pockets of neglect,’ such as Georgia, where the 2011 maternal mortality rate of 28.7 per 100,000 live births was nearly double the national average.”

“The Alliance for Innovation on Maternal Health has developed ‘safety bundles’ of best practices, guidelines and protocols to improve maternal health care quality and safety,” Gay wrote. “These ‘bundles’ include equipping hospital labor units with a fully stocked cart for immediate hemorrhage treatment, establishing a hospital-level emergency management protocol, conducting regular staff drills and reviewing all cases to learn from past mistakes, among other things.”

More broadly, Kiera Butler reported for Mother Jones that doctors rarely warn patients of the potential for serious injuries and complications that can occur following birth.

“Women have a right to make informed decisions about their bodies and serious medical situations; however, when it comes to birth and its aftereffects, Butler found that doctors simply are not providing vital information,” Project Censored summarized. Many state laws require doctors to inform women of the potential complications and dangers associated with delivery, but none require them to discuss potential long-term problems, including the fact that some complications are more prevalent in women who give birth vaginally, rather than by C-section.

“All told, according to a 2008 study by researchers at the California HMO Kaiser Permanente, about one in three women suffer from a pelvic floor disorder (a category that includes urinary incontinence, fecal incontinence and prolapse), and roughly 80% of those women are mothers,” Butler reported.

“Women who deliver vaginally are twice as likely to experience these injuries as women who have a cesarean or who have not given birth. For one in 10 women, the problem is severe enough to warrant surgery.”

“The corporate news media have paid limited attention to maternal mortality and morbidity in the U.S.,” Project Censored notes.

There have been scattered stories, but nothing remotely close to the sort of sustained coverage that is warranted.

National Committee broke legally binding neutrality agreements in the Democratic primaries by strategizing to make Hillary Clinton the nominee before a single vote was cast.

The lawsuit was filed against the DNC and its former chair, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, in June 2016 by Beck & Lee, a Miami law firm, on behalf of supporters of Bernie Sanders. A hearing was held on the suit in April 2017 in which DNC lawyers argued that neutrality was not actually required and that the court had no jurisdiction to assess neutral treatment.

As Michael Sainato reported for The Observer, DNC attorneys claimed that Article V, Section 4 of the DNC Charter—which instructs the DNC chair and staff to ensure neutrality in the Democratic presidential primaries—is actually “a discretionary rule” that the DNC “didn’t need to adopt to begin with.”

In addition, DNC attorney Bruce Spiva later said it was within the DNC’s rights to “go into back rooms like they used to and smoke cigars and pick the candidate that way.” Sainato also reported that DNC attorneys argued that specific terms used in the DNC charter, including “impartial” and “evenhanded,” couldn’t be interpreted in a court of law because it would “drag the court...into a political question and a question of how the party runs its own affairs.”

Jared Beck, representing Sanders’ supporters, responded: “Your Honor, I’m shocked to hear that we can’t define what it means to be ‘evenhanded’ and ‘impartial.’ If that were the case, we couldn’t have courts. I mean, that’s what courts do every day—decide disputes in an evenhanded and impartial manner.”

Not only was running elections in a fair and impartial manner a “bedrock assumption” of democracy, Beck argued earlier, it was also a binding commitment for the DNC: “That’s what the Democratic National Committee’s own charter says,” he said. “It says it in black and white.” Much of the reporting and commentary on the broader subject of the DNC’s collusion with the Clinton campaign has been speculative and misdirected—focused on questions about “voter fraud” and countered by claims of indulging in “conspiracy theory.” But this trial focuses on documentary evidence and questions of law—all publicly visible yet still treated as suspect—when not simply ignored out of hand.

As Project Censored notes, “[E]ven Michael Sainato’s reporting—which has consistently used official documents, including the leaked DNC emails and courtroom transcripts, as primary sources—has been repeatedly labeled ‘opinion,’ rather than straight news reporting, by his publisher, The Observer.”

9. DNC Claims Right to Select Presidential Candidate

10. 2016: A Record Year for Global Internet Shutdowns

A key story about the 2016 election has mostly been ignored by the media: a classaction lawsuit alleging that the Democratic

In 2016, governments around the world shut down internet access more than 50 times, according to the digital rights organization

Access Now, “suppressing elections, slowing economies and limiting free speech,” as Lyndal Rowlands reported for the Inter Press Service. “In the worst cases, internet shutdowns have been associated with human rights violations,” Rowlands was told by Deji Olukotun of Access Now. “What we have found is that internet shutdowns go hand in hand with atrocities,” Olukotun said.

Kevin Collier also covered the report for Vocativ, noting that Access Now uses a “conservative metric,” counting “repeated, similar outages,” like those which occurred during Gabon’s widely criticized internet “curfew,” as a single instance. The Vocativ report included a dynamic map chart, designed by Kaitlyn Kelly, that vividly depicts internet shutdowns around the world, month by month, for all of 2016, as documented by Access Now. “Many countries intentionally blacked out internet access during elections and to quell protest. Not only do these shutdowns restrict freedom of speech, they also hurt economies around the world,” Project Censored notes.

“TechCrunch, IPS and other independent news organizations reported that a Brookings Institution study found that internet shutdowns cost countries $2.4 billion between July 2015 and June 2016”—a conservative estimate according to the study’s author, Darrell West.

As Olukotun told IPS, one way to stop government shutdowns is for internet providers to resist government demands: “Telecommunications companies can push back on government orders, or at least document them to show what’s been happening, to at least have a paper trail,” he observed. In a resolution passed in July 2016, the U.N. Human Rights Council (UNHRC) described the internet as having “great potential to accelerate human progress.” It also condemned “measures to intentionally prevent or disrupt access to or dissemination of information online.”

On July 1, 2016, the UNHRC passed a nonbinding resolution signed by more than 70 countries lauding the internet’s “great potential to accelerate human progress” and condemning “measures to intentionally prevent or disrupt access to or dissemination of information online.” It also noted that “the exercise of human rights, in particular the right to freedom of expression, on the internet is an issue of increasing interest and importance.”

Yet, “understanding what this means for internet users can be difficult,” Azad Essa reported for Al Jazeera in May 2017. Advocates of online rights “need to be constantly pushing for laws that protect this space and demand that governments meet their obligations in digital spaces just as in non-digital spaces,” he was told by the U.N.’s special rapporteur on freedom of opinion and expression, David Kaye.

Paul Rosenberg is the senior editor of Random Lengths News.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

NEWS&VIEWS

::SAVINGOURDEMOCRACY ( OCT. 5 - OCT. 11, 2017 )

E

ach week, the Shepherd Express serves as a clearinghouse for all activities in the greater Milwaukee area that peacefully push back against discriminatory, reactionary or authoritarian actions and policies of the Trump administration and other activities that seek to thwart social justice. We will publicize and promote actions, demonstrations, planning meetings, teach-ins, party-building meetings, drinking-discussion get-togethers or any other actions that are directed toward fighting back to preserve our liberal democratic system.

Thursday, Oct. 5

Mike McCabe Town Hall @ Wisconsin African American Women’s Center (3020 W. Vliet St.), 6-9 p.m.

Mike McCabe, an independent candidate for Wisconsin governor who is running in the Democratic Party primary, will hold a town hall meeting on Thursday. This will be a chance for the public to learn more about McCabe’s vision for our state.

Conversational Evening with Mayor Tom Barrett @ Amalgamated Transit Union (734 N. 26th St.), 7-9 p.m.

The Public Enterprise Committee is organizing an opportunity for Milwaukeeans to chat with their mayor about city concerns. They ask that everyone bring facts in an effort to foster a meaningful discussion.

Saturday, Oct. 7

Voter and Civic Engagement Campaign @ Acción Ciudadana de Wisconsin (221 S. Second St.), 10 a.m.-1 p.m.

Acción Ciudadana de Wisconsin, Latino Voting Bloc of Wisconsin and Citizen Action of Wisconsin have come together to organize a weekly Saturday campaign of knocking on doors and phone banking to get people thinking about the 2018 elections. Volunteers can go out and talk to voters about the issues that they care about and get them involved in different events happening in the community.

Peace Action Wisconsin: Stand for Peace @ The corner of Farwell and North avenues, noon-1 p.m.

Every Saturday from noon-1 p.m., concerned citizens join with Peace Action Wisconsin to protest war. Signs will be provided for those who need them. Protesters are encouraged to stick around for conversation and coffee afterward.

Activism Now: Re-Ignition @ Kenilworth Square East Gallery (2155 N. Prospect Ave.), 2-3:30 p.m.

This panel will explore the transformation of activism from the 1960s into the second decade of the 21st century. Veterans of Milwaukee’s housing desegregation struggle, the Wisconsin immigrant rights struggle, contemporary Black Lives Matter movement activists and organizers doing contemporary housing, economic rights and immigration justice work will participate in the discussion.

Sunday, Oct. 8

Emilio de Torres from the Wisconsin ACLU @ Plymouth Church (2717 E. Hampshire Ave.), 9:30 a.m.

ACLU of Wisconsin Director of Community Engagement Emilio de Torres will speak at Plymouth Church as a part of their ongoing Adult Education Series on Immigration. He has worked with more than 20 congregations in Madison on immigration issues.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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SMOKE SHOP & WORLD GIFTS

MSDF Picket @ Milwaukee County Courthouse (901 N. Ninth St.), 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

Picketers will be outside of the Milwaukee County Courthouse to protest the existence and operation of the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF).

Monday, Oct. 9

Domestic Human Trafficking and Volunteer Training @ Redeem and Restore Center (233 Oakton Ave., Pewaukee), 6:30-8:30 p.m.

In this informational training session hosted by the Redeem and Restore Center, participants will hear from a survivor of human trafficking and watch Chosen, a 20-minute documentary that focuses on two American teens that were victims of human trafficking.

Tuesday, Oct. 10

How to Talk with Children About Race @ Christ Church (5655 N. Lake Drive, Whitefish Bay), 6-8 p.m.

PACE3 is presenting a lecture by Associate Professor of Africology Erin Winkler (at UW-Milwaukee). Winkler will describe why not talking about race is actually detrimental to children’s ability to form positive ideas and images about the topic; participants will also become informed about ways to discuss race-related issues in ageappropriate and empowering ways.

Drinking Liberally @ Art*Bar (722 E. Burleigh St.), 6:30-8:30 p.m.

In its new location, the progressive social gathering that is Drinking Liberally now has an added bonus: two-for-one beer, wine, rail and call drinks. Drinking Liberally gives like-minded, left-leaning individuals a place to talk politics.

Wednesday, Oct. 11

Citizen Action Brew Fest @ Historic Pabst Brewery Great Hall (901 W. Juneau Ave.), 5-8 p.m.

Citizen Action of Wisconsin will host the ninth annual edition of their Brew Fest—a tasty evening of social camaraderie and a festive selection of union and local-sourced beers. Any contribution of $50 or more gets you a Citizen Action of Wisconsin pint glass.

Town Hall/Public Hearing on Judicial Recusal in Wisconsin @ Marquette University Law School (1215 W. Michigan St.), 6:30-8 p.m.

In this town hall organized by Common Cause in Wisconsin, legal experts will discuss why more effective recusal rules are needed for judges who receive campaign contributions at all levels, and what Wisconsin needs to do to achieve effective recusal rules.

To submit to this column, please send a brief description of your action, including date and time, to savingourdemocracy@shepex.com.

Together, we can fight to minimize the damage that the Trump administration has planned for our great country.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

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NEWS&VIEWS::TAKINGLIBERTIES

The Corrupt Swamp Creature in the Republican Tax Room ::BY JOEL MCNALLY

L

et’s be perfectly clear. Rich politicians passing massive tax cuts for themselves, their own families and all their wealthy friends is not tax reform. It’s the worst kind of corrupt Washington politics that angers ordinary Americans—making them want to elect a president who will bust up the place and drain the swamp.

That’s why it was so bizarre that many of those angry Americans somehow believed an arrogant, self-obsessed billionaire looking down on them from a golden tower would suddenly start putting the interests of ordinary Americans above his own.

That childish fantasy disappeared when Donald Trump—the fake hero of forgotten Ameri-

cans—introduced what he promised would be the largest tax cuts in political history by telling the most outrageously transparent, easily provable lies claiming that low-income and middleincome families would benefit, not wealthy Americans like himself. This is what Trump said right out loud: “Our framework includes our explicit commitment that tax reform will protect low-income and middle-income households. Not the wealthy and well-connected. They can call me all they want; I’m doing the right thing. And it’s not good for me, believe me.”

Nearly everyone in America other than those willfully deluding themselves now knows Trump lies nearly every time he speaks; fact checkers have proven that repeatedly from the moment he took office. Even after Trump’s most shameless down-is-up lies are documented, he keeps repeating them. Either Trump has no concept of reality or he thinks his supporters are stupid enough to believe him.

It’s possible Trump really doesn’t know much about what is going on in his government, but over the years he’s demonstrated a clear vision of how to manipulate tax laws to his personal advantage. That’s why it’s preposterous for him to claim a series of proposed tax cuts specifically designed to overwhelmingly benefit the wealthy won’t flow to him personally. For starters, Trump cuts the top tax rate for the wealthiest taxpayers from 39.6% to 35%, but it’s actually even worse than that. Many in that category (and, guess what? Income from most of Trump’s busi-

nesses qualifies) would pay an even lower “passthrough” rate of 25%.

No Taxes on the Rich That’s just the beginning. Trump’s cuts also eliminate three other taxes that apply only to the wealthy: a 3.8% Obamacare tax on investment income; the estate tax that applies only to estates valued at more than $5.5 million; and the Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT) which was originally passed to prevent millionaires and billionaires from using so many tax loopholes that they paid no taxes at all.

Since Trump is the first president or presidential candidate to refuse to release his personal tax returns in 40 years, it’s difficult to know precisely how large Trump’s windfall would be—other than massive. David Cay Johnston, a former Pulitzer Prize-winning New York Times financial reporter who has documented massive tax giveaways to wealthy individuals and corporations, obtained financial details from Trump’s 2005 tax return showing he paid $38 million on $150 million in taxable income after claiming more than $100 million in losses.

Guess what? In that year—the most recent for which Donald Trump’s tax information is available—he paid $31 million to satisfy the Alternative Minimum Tax; if the AMT were repealed, Trump would owe only about $7 million—more than an 85% tax reduction.

Of course, that’s just chicken feed compared to what Trump’s family would reap if Republicans succeed in finally completely eviscerating

the estate tax, which, despite Trump’s lies about saving struggling family farmers, applies only to the wealthiest one-fifth of 1% of the population.

Based on a Forbes estimate that Trump is worth $3.5 billion, eliminating the estate tax would save the Trump family as much as $1.4 billion, leaving Donald Jr., Ivanka, Eric, Tiffany and Barron only $2.1 billion to get by on.

This might be a good time to mention that Trump’s tax cuts, besides resulting in such massive giveaways to the wealthy, actually would raise the bottom tax rate for low-income taxpayers from 10% to 12%, and for middle-class taxpayers, changes in personal and child exemptions means that about a third of them would pay higher taxes, not lower.

Trump’s supporters aren’t nearly as stupid as he thinks they are. More than seven in 10 Americans correctly believe the U.S. tax system is rigged in favor of the wealthy. That’s why Trump’s supporters cheered lustily at those hysterical rallies when he said he would raise taxes on hedge fund managers. (No, his tax plan doesn’t.)

Simply to avoid embarrassing financial corruption at the top of a Republican administration run by billionaires and millionaires, both Republicans and Democrats in both houses of Congress should insist Trump release his tax returns to show Americans how much he and his family would personally benefit before they vote on any of his tax cut proposals.

No one can trust a swamp creature to drain a swamp.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com.n

NEWS&VIEWS::POLL

You Say the Middle Class Will Pay More Under a Republican Tax Plan Last week we asked if middle-class Americans would end up paying more under a Republican tax reform plan. You said: n Yes: 74% n No: 26%

What Do You Say? In the aftermath of the deadliest mass shooting in modern American history, will Congress finally act and pass some form of rational restrictions on gun ownership? n Yes n No

Vote online at shepherdexpress.com. We’ll publish the results of this poll in next week’s issue.

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SHEPHERD EXPRESS

NEWS&VIEWS::ISSUEOFTHEWEEK

‘Call a Bank’

It wasn’t a solution then; it’s not a solution now ::BY ANALIESE EICHER

W

ednesday, Sept.

27 marked the oneyear anniversary of Gov. Scott Walker advising Wisconsin borrowers to “call a bank” as his solution to the growing crisis of student loan debt.

Walker’s advice and subsequent inaction on policies to help the state’s nearly one million student loan borrowers has hurt Wisconsin’s economy and left borrowers trapped in a system that treats them unfairly.

Student loan debt continues to grow in Wisconsin, and the student loan borrowers who worked hard to get their education and took on the personal responsibility to pay for it are still being treated unfairly by the system. Walker telling people to “call a bank” wasn’t a solution then, and it’s not a solution now.

The 2017 edition of the annual report from The Institute for College Access and Success (TICAS) found more than twothirds—67%—of the class of 2016 graduates in Wisconsin left school with an average student loan debt of $30,059. Nationally, Wisconsin places sixth for percentage of graduates with debt and 17th for the average amount of debt. Earlier figures from the federal government indicated that there are nearly one million student loan borrowers in Wisconsin with an aggregate federal student loan debt of roughly $19 billion.

The impact of student debt in Wisconsin (and nationally) is devastating—not just on borrowers, but across the economy. Research conducted in state by One Wisconsin Institute found student loan borrowers were significantly more likely to rent rather than own their home and to drive a used instead of a new vehicle. National research

has confirmed the Wisconsin results and also found student debt is not just preventing individuals from making major purchases that stimulate the economy, but also preventing graduates from saving for retirement or their own children’s education.

Recent surveys find that Wisconsin student loan borrowers and voters are watching their elected officials on the issue of student debt and are strongly supportive of real solutions to the growing crisis. A recent sur-

vey of student loan borrowers found that well more than half rated as “very important” or “important” a political candidate’s position on the issue of dealing with student debt.

Likewise, a public opinion poll commissioned by One Wisconsin Institute found broad and bipartisan support among registered voters in Wisconsin for the state stepping in to help borrowers refinance their student loans. The poll also found support

lagging for Walker’s proposed “call a bank” solution to the student loan debt crisis.

According to financial disclosures filed by Walker, even he has not taken his own advice. They indicate that he apparently has not yet called a bank and refinanced the more than $100,000 in student debt he reported being responsible for at an interest rate of more than 7%. Scott Walker hasn’t taken his own advice, and he hasn’t taken the opportunity to enact real reforms to help Wisconsin student loan borrowers. With Gov. Walker, it’s failure all around on the student loan debt crisis.

Analiese Eicher is the program and development director of One Wisconsin Now. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

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FEATURE | SHORT ORDER | EAT/DRINK

Vagabond

Vagabond’s Pleasing Mix of Tacos, Small Plates and Americana Pop

::BY BRIAN BOYLE

the similarities end. A meal of three tacos (ordering in trios allows for agua agabond boldly mixes together loosely adjacent traditions to create something greater and unique. chili rice and “cowboy” beans to be included for a buck each) can include such disparate flavor palates that the literal textbook definition of “taco” The décor is just as much indebted to late 1970s and represents the only overlap in the taste bud Venn diagram. early ’80s big rock and hip-hop (and the even bigger For example, a single order can include the classic Al Pastor with roasted boombox tech it was enjoyed through) as it is to the pork perfectly topped with an acidic grilled pineapple bite, a Kung Pow vintage video games that sparked an arcade revolution shrimp taco tossed in sweet and spicy Hunan sauce, and the fatty Duck in the same years, all evidenced by the sprawling pop art Confit that’s more confection than taco. For every traditional Al Pastor or murals inspired by both the music and Ms. Pac-Man. How Hanger Steak taco there’s a genre-crossing Kung Pow or Falafel Curry or early Reagan-era Americana pop culture became the backBLT-A option to counter. drop for, of all things, a taco restaurant is beyond me. As far as And then there are the straight silly options, Vagabond is concerned, that actually like the aptly named Flamin’ Cheeto taco which might be the point. tops coffee-smoked brisket with, well, Flamin’ Hot The menu, which features an A-Side Vagabond Cheetos. It’s the kind of combination only a curious of taco listings and a B-Side of assorted 1122 N. Edison St. child or a not-exactly-sober millennial on a college small plates and shareables, is chock full of 414-223-1122 | $-$$ student budget could think up—and it actually fusion delights. works.

Featuring roughly two-dozen items, vagabondmke.com Pair the tacos with a healthy margarita menu, the taco menu is divided among five subHandicapped Access: Yes a large draft beer selection, an even larger tequila categories (beef, poultry, pork, seafood and CC, FB, GF, OD, RS list and generous daily food and drink specials and veggie). The only real through line is that they Hours: Vagabond becomes on of the best hangs in the are all, in fact, tacos: small, soft tortillas (corn Su-Th 11 a.m.-midnight city. The endless chips delivered with salsa rojo, or flour) liberally topped with marinated and to 2 a.m.; salsa verde, and a habanero- and ghost pepperspiced meats and crisp slaws and shredded based salsa picoso don’t hurt either (of course). cheeses and salsas and sauces. That’s really where F-Sa 11 a.m.-2 a.m.

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COOKING UP DELICIOUS VEGAN MEATS ::BY MORTON SHLABOTNIK Even 20 years ago, meat substitutes tended to taste like sponge. Much progress has been made, with the Field Roast Grain Meat Co. as one of the leaders. In Field Roast: 101 Artisan Vegan Meat Recipes to Cook, Share & Savor, the company’s head chef, Tommy McDonald, shows what can be done using European charcuterie traditions infused with Asian traditions of using wheat as the primary protein instead of animal flesh. Judging by the color photos, it would be hard to spot that the meaty-looking, rib-sticking recipes are based on carefully crafted wheat, not beef— whether breaded, chopped or sliced for sandwiches. The true test will be if Field Roast’s “Southwest Philly Cheesesteak,” with chipotle pepper, jalapeños and garlic, tastes as good as it looks.

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Vegan Essentials Takes Guesswork Out of Going CrueltyFree ::BY SHEILA JULSON

A

s a pioneer of Wisconsin’s cruelty-free retailers, Waukesha-based Vegan Essentials sells hundreds of food items such as dairy-free cheese, meat alternatives, baking supplies, condiments and snacks though its online store, veganessentials.com. The business, which originally began in 1997 with a print catalogue, also offers vegan cosmetics, body care products and home goods.

Owned by the husband-and-wife team of Courtney Ernster and Ryan Wilson, Vegan Essentials carries common brands such as Chocolate Dream semi-sweet baking chips or Upton’s Naturals seitan, as well as unique items not available at health-minded retail stores in the area.

“We try to get a good mix of products at both ends of the spectrum, common items that people are looking for, as well as a lot of obscure brands that don’t get as much exposure but still make a great product,” Wilson said.

One of those is Greece-based Violife dairyfree cheese. Wilson said the company just started a U.S. division this past year, and Vegan Essentials is the first store they’re selling through online. Violife makes vegan cheeses such as provolone, Parmesan wedges, Gouda and Mediterranean-style “grillable” cheese; the latter is a SHEPHERD EXPRESS

growing trend in the foodie scene, and Violife and Vegan Essentials makes sure vegans aren’t left out.

With the holidays approaching, Wilson said Vegan Essentials would expand their line of home baking products. Those new to vegan diets, or their well-meaning relatives, might accidentally use an ingredient they think is safe, such as marshmallows, that has hidden no-nos like gelatin, which is derived from animal parts. Vegan Essentials carries true vegan marshmallows.

“We’re a one-stop shop for things vegans can trust and know are the real deal,” Wilson said.

“As vegan owned and operated, and vegans ourselves, we qualify everything to our own standards so everyone else doesn’t have to scour labels and not be sure of what they’re getting.”

Ernster went vegan in 1996 when she got food poisoning after eating chicken at a restaurant.

She figured that if something made her that sick, she shouldn’t eat it anymore, Wilson related. He wasn’t vegan when he met Ernster, but when he started helping her with the business, he decided to give it a try and felt better physically and mentally by not consuming animal products. He’s led a vegan lifestyle since 1998.

Vegan Essentials’ popular items are meat and cheese alternatives. Wilson noted that some customers are not committed vegans, but go meat free a couple days a week. In the two decades that Vegan Essentials has been in business, Wilson has seen the industry grow with more choices and availability, yet becoming mainstream also makes it tougher for a smaller business to compete.

“We stay small and connected with the community in ways you don’t get with bigger box retailers,” Wilson emphasized. “With us, one major reason we have the longevity is because people trust what we’re bringing in. When people shop with us, their money is staying in the vegan community, versus a major grocery store where dollars also go toward non-vegan items.”

Real human beings man Vegan Essentials’ phone lines to address questions and concerns.

Although they no longer have a walk-in store (they were formerly located on 92nd Street and Lisbon Avenue) customers can place orders online and save shipping costs by stopping by the Waukesha location to pick up orders. Vegan Essential ships worldwide.

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Join us at The Brick for live local music every Wednesday and Saturday nights featuring performances by well known artists including...

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::SPORTS Looking Back on the Brewers RollerCoaster Season ::BY KYLE LOBNER

T

he 2017 Milwaukee Brewers wrapped up a roller coaster of a season over the weekend and were the last team eliminated from MLB playoff contention. Despite coming into the year with low expectations, the one game that stood between the Brewers and the Rockies for the National League’s final Wild Card spot is likely to produce “What if?� thoughts for years to come.

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The fact that the Brewers were even in position to make a late-season push, however, marks a significant change from where this team and organization were six months ago. On Opening Day, FanGraphs gave Milwaukee a 1.1% chance of seeing postseason play—a number that eventually swelled to 35.8% in July and 23.9% as recently as nine days ago.

As one might expect, most of the biggest swings in the Brewers’ playoff odds have occurred recently as the team played with their season seemingly on the line several times over the last two weeks.

There were also some major shifts earlier in the season, however. Here are the single biggest dayto-day odds shifts for the Brewers each month in 2017: April 26: +1.8% As noted earlier, the Brewers came into the season with just a 1.1% chance at reaching the postseason. They lost most of those odds on the season’s first day, as an Opening Day loss lowered their shot to 0.4%. A three-game home sweep against the Reds, however, got the Brewers back above .500 and within a game of first place. The game this day featured what might be Wily Peralta’s last win as a Brewers starting pitcher, as he worked around four solo home runs in five innings and his offense picked him up in a 9-4 victory. Meanwhile, the Cubs lost on this day (6-5 to the Pirates), and the Cardinals were off, so the Brewers gained ground on most of their divisional rivals. The win pushed

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Milwaukee’s playoff chances to 4.8%, their highwater mark of the season to date.

May 21: -3.3% The Brewers beat the Cubs on Friday, May 19, to climb two games up in the National League Central for the first time, and the following day featured a “rainout� that sparked a feud between the two teams when the skies cleared, and it became apparent that a game could have been played. The Cardinals did play (and lost) that day, giving the Brewers a 2.5-game lead and playoff chances that peaked at 13%—their highest of the season to date. The Cubs came back rested on Sunday and trounced the Brewers 13-6 in a game that wasn’t as close as the score would indicate.

The Cubs led 13-1 heading into the top of the ninth and allowed five runs before slamming the door shut on a victory. Chase Anderson allowed six runs in just four innings in his worst outing of the season, and the Brewers lost ground to everyone as the Cardinals and Pirates also won their respective games. The day’s events combined to leave the Brewers as the fourth-most likely NL Central team to reach the playoffs at 9.7%.

June 11: -2.8% The Brewers remained atop a weak division into June despite splitting four-game sets against the lowly Mets and Giants before heading out to Arizona. The two teams split the first two games of that series, with the Brewers once again sending Chase Anderson to the mound on a Sunday. The final score of that Sunday loss was 11-1, but it wasn’t Anderson’s fault this time: He allowed just one run over six innings but picked up the loss when the four relievers that followed him to the mound combined to allow 10 runs while recording just six outs. Neftali Feliz, Wily Peralta and Rob Scahill all pitched in this game and allowed runs. Those three pitchers combined to make just 10 more appearances as Brewers’ players after this day. The loss combined with the day’s other action dropped Milwaukee’s playoff shot from 9.6 to 6.8%.

July 19: -9.7% After the June 11 game, the Brewers trended upward for quite some time, going 19-10 to close out the first half and open the second half by opening up a lead in the Central that stretched to 5.5 games on July 15. On June 15, the Brewers’ playoff odds reached 35.8%, their best mark of the season.

What took a month to build was demolished in a

week, however, as the Brewers lost a game at home against the Phillies, and then went to Pittsburgh and were swept in a four-game set with the Pirates.

The third Pirates game was the most damaging, as the Brewers took a 2-1 lead to the ninth, but Corey Knebel and Jared Hughes allowed single runs each as Pittsburgh walked off with a 10-inning victory.

It was the Brewers’ fourth-straight loss, and it combined with four-straight wins by the Cubs to reduce the Central gap to 1.5 games and the Brewers’ playoff chances to 16.1%—nearly 20% down from where they had been just four days earlier.

Aug. 20: +5.8% The Brewers’ NL Central lead was all but forgotten by mid-August when they headed to Colorado for what would turn out to be a pretty important series with the team they ended up chasing down the stretch. At the time, the Rockies had a solid grip on the National League’s top wild card spot and the league’s third best record at 6755. The teams split the first two games of the series, setting up yet another Sunday game with a series on the line and Chase Anderson on the mound. He allowed just one run over five innings in this game before being lifted early and allowing his offense to pick up the slack in an 8-4 win. Jesus Aguilar, who had hit a go-ahead pinch hit home run the night before, had two more on this day to power the offense. The day’s other action featured losses for the Diamondbacks and Cardinals, and the Brewers’ newfound 16.5% playoff odds were their best in more than a month.

Sept. 27: -14.9% The Brewers postseason pendulum swung back and forth several times in the season’s final weeks, starting with a 6-1 stretch that saw them peak at 24.3% on Sept. 19 and enduring three consecutive days against the Cubs where their chances dropped 9.6%, went up to 13.1% on a Travis Shaw walkoff homer and down to 10.4% the next day. None of those losses had quite as much impact, however, as a 6-0 shutout loss to the Reds on Wednesday.

Homer Bailey salvaged an awful season by doing it all for Cincinnati that night, pitching seven shutout innings for the first time since 2014 and also doubling and scoring a run. Bailey had a 4.71 ERA against the Brewers in 2017 and a 6.94 mark against everyone else. The loss dropped the Brewers’ playoff chances to 4% and firmly into “need a miracle� territory. They were eliminated three days later.

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In Tandem’s Production

::BY SELENA MILEWSKI

n Tandem Theatre opens its 20th season with Reed Martin and Austin Tichenor’s All The Great Books (Abridged), an offering from the world-renowned Reduced Shakespeare Company designed to delight audiences of many ages and interests. The premise? A remedial English Lit class has failed their mid-terms. (Guess what, audience: That’s you!) With graduation less than two hours away, the school’s coach, drama teacher and student teacher are compelled to convey no less than 89 of the world’s greatest literary works in just 90 minutes. “To do so,” shares director Chris Flieller, “they employ the drama teacher’s extensive collection of props and costumes, as well as clever contractions of some fairly lofty material. For instance, all of Charles Dickens’ works are distilled into a three-minute soap opera, and Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey are condensed into a 10-minute opus called The Idioddity.”

Other works on the roster include Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace, George Eliot’s Middlemarch, Miguel de Cervantes’ Don Quixote and Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn. Despite the cerebral subject matter, Flieller assures that “this show is fast-paced and funny, but also easy to follow; you don’t need to be a literary scholar to like this show.”

Indeed, the very nature of Reduced Shakespeare Company works is zany, Marx Brothersesque and grounded in physical comedy. Since debuting in 1981, their work has entertained audiences ranging from street corner passersby and Edinburgh Festival Fringe-goers to patrons paying premium for seats at London’s West End and New York’s Off-Broadway theaters. All The Great Books (Abridged) premiered in 2002 and is the company’s fifth stage show.

It follows such other screwball summations as The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) and The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged), the latter two holding the distinction of being London’s longest-running comedies.

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Of the particular strength of All The Great Books, Flieller notes, “Part of what makes this my favorite of all the Reduced Shakespeare shows is the context; the setup about impending graduation gives the proceedings much more urgency and dramatic tension … The other thing is that the characters in this show are well defined and very different from each other. Each have their prejudices about the others, but by the end of class, they each grow in their appreciation of the others. So not only is it hilarious, at its core it is an affirmation of the idea that, as we work together and get to know each other, we find that we have more in common than we first thought. It seems to be a lesson that bears constant repeating.”

Playing the three roles is a trio of premier Milwaukee actors: Ryan Schabach as the drama professor, Chris Goode as the student teacher and Doug Jarecki as the coach. Jarecki has played his role before and has been seen on In Tandem’s stage several times in the past, most recently as Dracula in last fall’s Dracula Versus the Nazis.

Schabach returns to the company after a seven-year hiatus, having last been seen in the 2010 production of Romantic Fools. Goode, the newcomer in the group, is frequently seen on Milwaukee’s stages and has worked with Flieller in the past in the context of the World’s Stage Theatre. The design team also features familiar faces, including Kathy Smith, who designed costumes for the original production. Set Designer Rick Graham has likewise worked with In Tandem in the past; he designed the company’s lush 2014 production of The Glass Menagerie.

Designing lighting is Pat Smith—new to the company but experienced in the Manitowoc and Fox Valley theater circuit.

Asked how this show fits into larger themes for the season, Flieller states, “Our watchword is always diversity when choosing the content and tone of our programming, and ATGB has always been one of our favorites, so it seemed natural to reprise it for our 20th anniversary season. But, as we went forward choosing the rest of the season, a pattern started to emerge that really fit with who we are and how we do things. The guys in ATGB are thrown together by circumstance … to perform a seemingly insurmountable task, and they rise to the occasion.

“The performers in Scrooge in Rouge are faced with their own dilemma, In Tandem and the audience has a great All the Great time watching them soldier on and figure it out. The FanBooks (Abriged) tasticks is all about a group Oct. 5- Oct. 29 of actors who use the simTenth Street plest of scenic elements to Theatre create a magical story from next to nothing. Even our drama, The Outgoing Tide, deals with a small, close-knit family faced with a difficult situation and trying to make the best of it. That’s what we are all about here: working hard and joyously to give our community the absolute best theater experience that is also accessible and affordable—doing the most with the least and making it beautiful.”

All The Great Books (Abridged) runs Oct. 5-29 at In Tandem’s Tenth Street Theatre, 628 N. 10th St. For tickets, call 414-271-1371 or visit intandemtheatre.org.

O C T O B E R 5 , 2 0 1 7 | 19

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ASKTHEEXPERTS:: WHERE DO VEGANS GET THEIR PROTEIN?

-POSSIBILITIES OF PROTEIN Dear Possibilities,

In this society, we’re misled to believe that meat and dairy products are the sole source of protein. We’re also told that the more protein, the better. It’s really just a marketing scheme for the animal agriculture industry. It’s a great marketing tactic, I’ll give them that, but it’s false.

Many plant-based foods are full of protein! In fact, plants are actually where animals -including the biggest/strongest such as gorillas, rhinos, and elephants - get their protein from plants. The animals you eat for protein get their protein from plants. Ironic, isn’t it?

Plant-based proteins are easier to digest and offer vitamins and minerals on top of protein, more so than animal-based protein. However it’s not just what’s in plant proteins that count; it’s what’s not. Unlike animal-based protein, which can be high in saturated fats, hormones and pesticides, plant-based protein is low in saturated fats, has no added hormones, and when organic is pesticide free.

Look for these plants to get protein: grains, beans, nuts, seeds and broccoli, spinach, peas, as well as other vegetables.

There are also a wide variety of meat substitutes such as veggie burgers, tofu and tempeh in the majority of markets.

Beyond Meat is a fabulous brand that makes all kinds of meat substitutes that replicate the real thing, but has the benefit of

being plant-based. There are also vegan protein powders, like Vega, for convenience and easy access.

Now, how much protein do we really need? As a vegan athlete, I can say confidently that I never struggle to get in the amount of protein I need. The recommended intake for healthy adults is 46 grams for women and 56 grams for men. The majority of people consume much more than this, vegan or not. I easily consume about 80 grams a day for muscle recovery and growth.

My favorite way to get protein in is with desserts. That’s right, dessert! I often use the chocolate Vega protein powder for chocolate desserts such as cakes, truffles and brownies.

Here’s a phenomenal Chocolate Protein Brownie recipe using Vega’s protein powder. Enjoy!

Brownie Ingredients • 1/3 cup coconut oil, room temperature • 1/2 cup coconut sugar (You may also use regular sugar.)

• 1/4 cup pure maple syrup • 1/2 cup applesauce, unsweetened • 1 tsp vanilla extract • 1/3 cup Chocolate Vega Protein Powder • 1/2 cup gluten-free all-purpose flour (You can also the non-gluten-free kind.)

• 1/4 tsp salt • 1/4 tsp baking powder Frosting Ingredients: • 2 ripe medium avocados • 1/4 cup Chocolate Vega Protein Powder

• 1/4 cup cocoa powder, unsweetened • 1/2 cup pure maple syrup • 1 tsp vanilla extract • 1/2 tsp espresso powder • Mini dark chocolate chips, optional Instructions: 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Grease an 8-inch square pan with coconut oil or spray with cooking spray.

3. In a large bowl, thoroughly mix together coconut oil and coconut sugar. Add maple syrup, applesauce and vanilla extract. Whisk together until combined.

4. Combine protein powder, gluten-free all-purpose flour, salt and baking powder and slowly add to the wet ingredients while mixing. Mix until fully combined.

5. Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for 25 to 30 minutes.

6. While the brownies are baking, make the frosting by adding all of the frosting ingredients to a food processor and processing until smooth. Refrigerator until ready for use.

7. Let brownies cool before frosting. Once cooled, frost them with a thick layer and top with dark chocolate chips if you’d like. Cut into squares and enjoy!

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::THISWEEKINMILWAUKEE THURSDAY, OCT. 5

Porktoberfest @ West Allis Farmers Market, 5 p.m.

The Shepherd Express is proud to partner with the West Allis-West Milwaukee Chamber of Commerce for this inaugural celebration of all things pork. More than a dozen area restaurants and businesses will be sharing samples of savory, pork-centric dishes, including the Irie Zulu, Beerline Café, Antigua, Twisted Bistro, The Farmers Wife and the West Allis Cheese & Sausage Shoppe. There will also be wine and beer to wash down all that food, and live music from the blues-rock band Super Custom Deluxe. Tickets are $35 per person or $60 per pair if you use the discount code “Porktoberfest” at checkout at shepherdtickets.com.

SATURDAY, OCT. 7

Mike Gordon

AIDS Walk @ Summerfest Grounds, 9:30 a.m.

In the battle against AIDS, Wisconsin has an advantage over other states: The AIDS Resource Center of Wisconsin (ARCW) provides some of the most comprehensive care in the country, offering HIV patients not only medical and dental treatments, but also mental health services and access to a food pantry and social services—essential assistance, since 90% of HIV patients live in poverty, and more than 50% suffer from mental illness or addiction. To cover its operating budget, which also covers education, prevention and testing services, the ARCW relies on fundraisers like its largest event, the annual AIDS Walk Wisconsin, which has raised more than $12.5 million for the cause. This year’s walk is chaired by actress and comedian Jane Lynch.

Vliet Street Fall Festival @ Vliet Street, noon-7 p.m.

What a great season it’s been for upstart neighborhood festivals in Milwaukee. Just weeks after Walker’s Point hosted its inaugural Fifth Street Festival, Vliet Street prepares for its first Vliet Street Fall Festival. From Hawley Road to 54th Street, the street will be lined with art, craft makers and food trucks. Artists Working in Education will offer an art station for kids to make their own pieces, and there will also be cookie decorating and a “Slime Station” for kids that want to get messy. In addition to live music from students from the West End Conservatory and bands like Negative Positive and The Thriftones, there will be live metalworking demonstrations from Milwaukee Blacksmith.

Riverwest Gallery Night @ multiple venues

Riverwest has always been one of the most arts-rich neighborhoods in Milwaukee, as well as a hub for some of its most creative citizens. That arts tradition will be on full display at the inaugural Riverwest Gallery Night and Riverwest Artists Association’s Artwalk. More than a dozen venues and galleries will participate, including Moxy Studio, No Fun Gallery, Jazz Gallery, Flux Design, The Feed Shop and the Riverwest Public House. Works won’t be limited to just Milwaukee artists. 4 Wheels Studio will be presenting a performance from New York artist Michael Alan, who builds animated sculptures out of a variety of materials and found objects and then sets them to his own music for a project he calls Living Installation.

John Cleese: ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’ @ The Riverside Theater, 8 p.m.

These days, every movie with a modest following gets labeled a “cult favorite,” but most of those films have nothing on Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the British comedy troupe’s masterwork and one of the most loved and quoted comedies of all time. Star John Cleese will be on hand for this screening of the film, where he’ll also participate in a conversation about his life and career moderated by Sandy Maxx. He’ll also take questions from the audience, which is likely to have quite a few silly ones John Cleese lined up for him.

24 | O C T O B E R 5 , 2 0 1 7

SUNDAY, OCT. 8

Mike Gordon @ The Pabst Theater, 8:30 p.m.

Like most of his bandmates in Phish, bassist Mike Gordon’s interests in music are too wide-ranging to be confined to one group. Gordon has led a number of solo bands and side projects over the years, finding considerable critical success along the way with a pair of albums with acoustic guitar savant Leo Kotte. For this latest tour, Gordon’s band features longtime collaborator Scott Murawski on guitar, organs and synths from Robert Walter of The Greyboy Allstars and John Kimock and Craig Myers on drums and percussion. Expect to hear material from Gordon’s just-released solo album, OGOGO.

Max Weinberg’s Jukebox @ Turner Hall Ballroom, 8 p.m.

Just how many songs does E Street Band drummer Max Weinberg know? Enough that he’s pretty sure he can handle whatever requests an audience throws at him. For his interactive event, the former “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” drummer and his band will create their setlist in real time—playing whatever songs the crowd calls out for them to do. It’s a safe bet that at least a Bruce Springsteen song or two ends up in their set.

Brady Street Pet Parade @ Brady Street, 11 a.m.-5 p.m.

October isn’t officially “Dress Your Dog in a Silly Costume Month,” but it might as well be.

For those pet owners who can’t wait until Halloween to put a princess costume on their beloved companion, there’s always the annual Brady Street Pet Parade, now in its 16th year. In addition to a costume contest, a pet-owner look-alike contest and a human bark contest (it’s weird), there are sidewalk sales, raffles, photo opportunities and a pet blessing. Pets of all kinds are welcome.

WEDNESDAY, OCT. 11

Trashcan Sinatras @ Shank Hall, 8 p.m.

Scottish rockers Trashcan Sinatras formed outside of Glasgow in 1987 during the heyday of U.K. indie-pop, and like seemingly every band from that corner of the world at the time, they recorded some truly wonderful, jangly little guitar-pop tunes. Despite some flattering comparisons to The Smiths, they never made a huge impression in America (their biggest exposure may have been an appearance on “Beavis and Butt-head”), but the years have been kind to them. Richly produced with Mike Mogis of Bright Eyes, the band’s crowd-funded 2016 album, Wild Pendulum, is a delight—the kind of late-career triumph that most acts from their era would be proud to claim as their own.

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IN TANDEM THEATRE PRESENTS

ALL THE GREAT BOOKS (ABRIDGED)

BY REED MARTIN AND AUSTIN TICHENOR OCTOBER 6 - 29

TICKETS: 414-271-1371 WWW.INTANDEMTHEATRE.ORG

With only 90 minutes ‘til graduation, the gym coach, drama professor and student teacher join forces in this high-energy comedy that plows through 89 of the world’s greatest works of literature!

Take a fantastic musical adventure with an out-of-this-world car Tickets Start at

$15

CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG Music and Lyrics by Richard M. Sherman and Robert B. Sherman Music by Special Arrangement with Sony/ATV Publishing Adapted for the Stage by Jeremy Sams Based on the MGM Motion Picture Licensed Script Adapted by Ray Roderick CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG Is presented through special arrangement with Music Theatre International (MTI).

All authorized performance materials are also supplied by MTI. www.MTIShows.com

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O C T O B E R 5 , 2 0 1 7 | 25

A&E::PERFORMINGARTSWEEK

THEATRE

MORE TO DO

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Macbeth

I never missed an airing of the 1968 Albert R. Broccoli-produced film of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, which starred Dick Van Dyke and Sally Ann Howes. I just loved the fabulous car, the wonderful songs and the truly fearsome and creepy Child Catcher (fabulously portrayed by Robert Helpmann). It was my early childhood introduction to the feature-length musical, and it remains a personal favorite to this day.

A stage musical adaptation was a long time coming; it wasn’t until 2002 that, with six new songs by the original lyricists and composers, Robert and Richard Sherman, premiered in the West End at the Palladium. It became the longest-running show ever at the celebrated London venue—more than three years.

“Chitty is a celebration of family that will burst to life on our stage with live music, physical humor, amazing dancing and a pinch or two of danger,” says First Stage Artistic Director Jeff Frank. “In addition, innovative puppetry will bring everything from the Zeppelin to Chitty herself to life.” Some 32 young actors—split between two alternating casts—will take part in this First Stage production. (John Jahn) Oct. 6-Nov. 5 at the Todd Wehr Theater of the Marcus Center for the Performing Arts, 929 N. Water St. For tickets, call 414-267-2961 or visit firststage.org.

Notes from the Field: Community Perspectives Actress, playwright and professor Anna Deavere Smith may not have what one terms a household name, but it’s very likely you’ve seen her work somewhere, sometime. You might have caught one of her documentary theater-style plays; perhaps Fires in the Mirror, Twilight: Los Angeles, 1992 or Let Me Down Easy. On the big screen, you would have seen her in Philadelphia (1993), The American President (1995) or Rent (2005). In more recent years, you’d have witnessed her portrayals of Dr. Nancy McNally on TV’s “The West Wing” and as Gloria Akalitus on “Nurse Jackie.”

Currently, however, Smith is giving one-woman stage shows in which she renders characters based upon people she’s met on her travels throughout the U.S. These include people who have survived gun violence, experienced homelessness or encountered racial injustice. Smith brings the lives and experiences of real people she’s met and gotten to know to vivid life for her audiences.

This revelatory and relevant show also contains a panel discussion (moderated by Sheri Williams Pannell of First Stage) which includes notable community leaders from the United Community Center, Zilber Family Foundation, Wisconsin Council on Children and Families and the Milwaukee Office of Violence Prevention. (John Jahn) Wednesday, Oct. 11 at Miller High Life Theatre, 500 W. Kilbourne Ave. For tickets, call 262-317-6005 or visit wiphilanthropy.org.

MUSIC

A Toast to 70 Strong

That’s the title of the Wisconsin Philharmonic’s next concert, the “70” referring to the orchestra’s decades of existence (it was formerly known as the Waukesha Symphony Orchestra).

“We are proud to have reached this platinum milestone in our long history of offering Waukesha County the finest in classical and pops programming,” says WP maestro Alexander Platt. In addition to what will surely be a rousing, audience-participation rendering of “Happy Birthday,” the orchestra then settles in for three superb works of German classic-romantic music.

First there’s the sprightly Symphony No. 70 in D Major by Joseph Haydn (1732-1809), with its assertive Vivace con brio and Allegro con brio first and final movements, respectively. Joining the orchestra for Ludwig van Beethoven’s Triple Concerto in C Major, Op. 56 (1804) is Trio Solisti, which was founded in 2001. This ensemble’s members—violinist Maria Bachmann, cellist Alexis Pia Gerlach and pianist Fabio Bidini—perform regularly throughout the U.S. Finally, there’s Felix Mendelssohn’s Symphony No. 5 in D Major, Op. 107 (1830), which he composed in observation of the 300th anniversary of Martin Luther’s Augsburg Confession (hence the work’s sobriquet, Reformation). (John Jahn) Tuesday, Oct. 10 at Sharon Lynne Wilson Center for the Arts, 19805 W. Capitol Drive, Brookfield. For tickets, call 262-547-1858 or visit wisphil.org/event-tickets.

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Boozy Bard concludes its season of sauced Shakespeare with their signature piece, The Bard’s immortal tragedy of 1606, Macbeth.

This is part of their “Shakespeare Raw” performances in which, as they so aptly warn us: “A group of actors arrive the day of the show having read [or perhaps not] the script… Then, they pull a character name from a bucket to learn who they have to play that night.” Oh, and they get increasingly inebriated. Oct. 9-11 at Best Place (Pabst Brewery).

Visit facebook.com/boozybard for tickets.

Haydn, Beethoven, Barber

The Fine Arts Quartet, in their 55th and final season making beautiful music together, performs three string quartets in their next concert: Joseph Haydn’s B-Flat Major Quartet was nicknamed “Sunrise” owing to its rising theme over sustained chords that begins the piece.

Ludwig van Beethoven’s C# Minor Quartet, Op. 131, was his favorite of the so-called “late quartets” (comp. 1825-’26). Samuel Barber’s B Minor Quartet stems from 1936. Sunday, Oct. 8 at UW-Milwaukee’s Helene Zelazo Center for the Performing Arts—free and open to the public.

For more information, visit uwm.edu/arts.

Pepper’s Ghost

It’s fall, and that means Halloween is just around the corner. Just in time comes The Alchemist Theatre’s production of Aaron Kopec’s Pepper’s Ghost, described as “a quirky tale about a group of misfits who ‘fake haunt’ homes as elaborate practical jokes for high-paying customers.”

What happens, however, when fake turns into real? Oct. 6-28 at The Alchemist Theatre. For tickets, visit peppersghost.brownpapertickets.com.

Livin’ the Dream

In describing her latest work, Kelly Anderson (of Kelly Anderson Dance Theatre) says: “I believe this piece to be very relevant and necessary. In a time where support for the arts is being heavily challenged, a work like Livin’ the Dream could really open up the hearts and minds of many. It is comedic, personal and, more than anything, relatable.” Oct. 7-8 at Danceworks Studio Theater. For tickets, visit danceworksmke.org.

Curious George and the Golden Meatball

Racine Theatre Guild’s Children’s Theatre presents a very kidfriendly musical play centered on the mischievous monkey, Curious George—the central character in a series of adventure books for children dating back to 1939. Packy, the Racine Children’s Theatre mascot, will be on hand to greet audience members as they arrive and, after each performance, young attendees will have the chance to meet and greet the cast. Oct. 6-8 at Racine Theatre Guild. For tickets, call 262633-4218 or visit racinetheatre.org for tickets.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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TONY DUVALL

A&E::INREVIEW

Making Startling Discoveries in Next Act’s‘Silent Sky’

L

Brian Abraham and Nikita Tewani in The Rep’s ‘The Who and the What’

THEATRE

Faith and Gender Politics in The Rep’s ‘The Who and the What’

T

::BY SELENA MILEWSKI

he Milwaukee Repertory Theater continues its four-year cycle of plays by celebrated Brookfield native Ayad Akhtar with The Who and the What. The piece is loosely based on William Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, but the subject matter and plot go well beyond The Bard’s controversial foray into gender politics to create a realistic and engrossing tale of a modern American Muslim family.

The beautiful, vivacious younger sister, Mahwish (Nikita Tewani) is disallowed to marry by her traditional father, Afzal (Brian Abraham), until her highly educated and intelligent elder sister, Zarina (Soraya Broukhim), is wed. Although Zarina is more interested in writing her book than finding a husband, her father goes to great lengths posing as her on a Muslim dating website and, in this way, sets her up with an earnest young white convert to Islam, Eli (Ben Kahre).

The strength of Akhtar’s writing lies in its use of naturalistic conversation to explore controversial issues. In a particularly memorable scene, Zarina and Eli argue about the impact her book may have on the faithful Islamic community. Zarina hopes to explore the humanity—“the who,” rather than the conventionally accepted “what”—of the Prophet Muhammad, while also confronting “what Islam does to women.” Eli fears that her portrait will be “unrecognizable” to the faithful, compromise the Prophet’s power as an inspirational figure and elicit retaliation against Zarina. It is just this sort of human entry point into complex issues of faith and belief that makes Akhtar’s writing brilliant.

Under May Adrales’ direction, all four actors deliver stunning performances. Tewani’s Mahwish is a nigh-tragic character for her heartbreaking and only partially described situation coupled with her unrelenting devotion to family. The actress endows Mahwish with tremendous humor and effervescent energy, making her internal conflict and external plight all the sharper. As the protagonist, Zarina, Broukhim is commendable for fulfilling the deep nuances written into her role. She is alternately a devoted daughter, a Muslim and a radical feminist scholar. Watching her struggle to reconcile her own “who” and “what” through this scholarly and artistic journey is riveting.

Abraham’s Afzal is undeniably charismatic and likeable, even though his character makes statements about the need for women to “be broken” that make many audience members audibly cringe.

This actor, too, does an excellent job revealing the complicated nature of his character’s humanity.

Finally, as Eli, Kahre adeptly provides a foil to Afzal’s traditional belief structure. The character is a social justice-minded young Imam, fully in love with Zarina; his endeavor to resolve his two loves— for his congregation and his wife—is understated and genuine.

Scenic elements contribute much to the success of this production as well, especially Andrew Boyce’s stunning set design. The Stiemke is transformed into a versatile interior of the family’s home (and limited outside locations) through vibrant cobalt tiling, tasteful furnishings and, most interestingly, a back wall decorated with a cut-out Islamic geometric motif that fades from full patterning to solid wall, right to left. Perhaps suggestive of cultural or religious subsumption within an alien society, this design element, like the rest of the show, is moving and provocative without being heavy-handed.

Through Nov. 5 at the Rep’s Stiemke Studio, 108 E. Wells St. For tickets, call 414-224-9490 or visit milwaukeerep.com.

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::BY HARRY CHERKINIAN

ook up into a starlit sky on any given night, and the view awakens and evokes different feelings for us all: wonder, amazement, passion, peace. For Henrietta Leavitt, it’s a complex combination of all of the above—especially trying to study and practice astronomy in the man’s world of the early 1900s.

Henrietta makes startling discoveries looking out into space as well as within her own heart in Next Act Theatre’s fine production of Silent Sky. “The mind is sexless. And so is the sky,” states a determined Henrietta as she faces the first of a number of inequalities moving about in the male-dominated hierarchy at the Harvard laboratory. That will change for the better over the course of this two-hour journey.

Playwright Lauren Gunderson gives us a wondrous view of distant stars in faraway places through the eyes of the women known as “computers.” They map and catalogue the work of the male astronomers with painstaking, dedicated detail, yet are not even allowed to look through the telescope.

Henrietta unexpectedly finds love in the guise of the socially awkward Peter Shaw. But she must make difficult choices—and sacrifices—to follow her passion and dreams into the starry skies. Gunderson has done her homework exceedingly well, given what could be a difficult topic of what would become modern astronomy. We understand the language and terminology thanks to the excellent ensemble of the five actors assembled.

As Henrietta, Deborah Staples finds the nuance and complexity of a “frontier woman” staking her claim in the distant galaxies—one moment vulnerable, the next determined to overcome adversity. Hers is a fascinating performance from start to finish, as is that of Reece Madigan as her supervisor. Madigan shines from within as the fumbling, bumbling Peter. He is no match for the tough-talking head “computer” Annie, played to great comic effect by Carrie Hitchcock. Kelly Doherty rounds out the group of “computers” and Karen Estrada perfectly fits the sister, Margie, who stayed home to marry rather than follow her dreams.

“Hearts and stars can be blinding,” Henrietta comes to realize as her worlds collide. But by staying the course and following one’s passion, we eventually come to see the shimmering sparkle of the stars that light up the sky.

Through Oct. 22 at Next Act Theatre, 255 S. Water St. For tickets call 414-278-0765 or visit nextact.org.

Dr. Faustus and Martin Luther Walk into a Bar in ‘Wittenberg’

W

::BY RUSS BICKERSTAFF

indfall Theatre hosts an irrepressibly fun return to the 16th century this autumn with David Davalos’ pop comedy, Wittenberg. Kyle Conner summons great poetic angst as Hamlet, a university student torn between two worlds. Bo Johnson is immensely witty as iconoclastic intellectual rock star and tenured professor of philosophy, Dr. Faustus.

Hamlet is troubled by a new model for the universe he’d learned from a guy named Copernicus that he’d met while studying in Poland. Faustus is fascinated by it, but he’s battling demons all his own. In addition to his own search for truth, he’s tackling the challenge of acting as physician to fellow Wittenberg teacher Martin Luther.

Emmitt Morgans lends surprisingly pious charisma to the stage as a man on the verge of the 95 Theses that would change Christianity forever. Morgans is positively heroic as a man searching for truth in faith as Faustus searches for it in logic. Hamlet is caught between the two of them in the days before the events of William Shakespeare’s tragedy unfold.

The one significant problem with an otherwise enjoyable script is the lack of a strong female character; there are a few women in the script, but none of them seem to emerge beyond narrative stereotypes. It’s a good thing Jocelyn Ridgely is playing them all. Thoughtful characterization is admirable when Ridgely is working with a nun-turned-whore who serves as inadvertent muse for Faustus. When she manages to cast a little personal depth into the role of a casual serving wench, it’s considerably more impressive. Even when the script doesn’t give her much to work with, Ridgely shines considerable light around the edges of the story.

Through Oct. 14 at Village Church Arts, 130 E. Juneau Ave. For tickets, visit windfalltheatre.com.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

A&E::INREVIEW

THEATRE

Heartfelt Performance of a Fascinating Life in Theatre Gigante’s ‘I Am My Own Wife’

MUSIC

Present Music: Whimsical, Bluesy and Mathematical ::BY RICK WALTERS

P

resent Music explored yet another venue Friday evening with its concert in the student union of Milwaukee Institute of Art & Design (MIAD). David Bloom returned to lead the program he built as guest conductor. Lasting about 30 minutes, the song cycle Waterlines (2012) by Christopher Trapani (b. 1980) is about

flooding in the American South—the words coming from blues songs. Trapani’s brilliant, sophisticated music mixes contemporary art music with blues. Mezzo-soprano Lucy Dhegrae was stunning, with rich singing mixing various vocal styles: blues, gospel, jazz and classical.

There was whimsy in the early minimalism of Julius Eastman’s Stay on It (1973). Audience volunteers formed a speaking chorus, chanting the title of the piece on cue as the ensemble played. Goofy fun came in Meredith Monk’s Panda Chant II, again with a chorus of eager volunteers. The entire audience stood up and participated in Pauline Oliveros’ The Heart Chant, a silent group meditation. Tom Johnson’s Narayana’s Cows (1969) is a musical representation of a 14th-century Indian math problem, with the relentless syncopation of the score accumulating between spoken narration. Andrew Norman’s Music in Circles (2012) seemed a weak way to begin the otherwise interesting program.

::BY RUSS BICKERSTAFF

T

he modest stage of Kenilworth 508 Theatre plays host to historical drama as Theatre Gigante presents I Am My Own Wife. Playwright Doug Wright’s one-man rendering of a remarkable true story delicately moves across the intimate stage. Michael Stebbins plays Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, a German woman who began life as a boy named Lothar Berfelde. She lived through World War II, the Nazis and Communist East Germany.

The fascinating story of a truly interesting life is revealed as Stebbins plays Charlotte and a number of other characters. The story of Mahlsdorf is every bit as interesting as the story of how her story came to light. Stebbins also puts in a heartfelt performance as a writer trying to navigate the many turns in Charlotte’s life story.

Mahlsdorf had a complicated life that included murder and intrigue during a tumultuous period in the history of Germany.

Wright’s script has the opportunity to show sophisticated, conflicted politics echoing through a single person in a powerful emotional package that eschews ambiguity in favor of something much more emotionally sweeping.

The emotionality of the piece is amplified by the simplicity of the production. Directed

by Isabelle Kralj with stark and primal lighting by Leroy Stoner, Theatre Gigante’s staging amplifies the basic emotion of the piece to tell a story focused on the internal struggles of a captivating person.

Through Oct. 7 at the Kenilworth 508 Theatre, 1925 E. Kenilworth Place. For tickets, visit theatregigante.org.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

O C T O B E R 5 , 2 0 1 7 | 29

A&E::FILM

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southmilwaukeepac.org 30 | O C T O B E R 5 , 2 0 1 7

‘The Blood Is at the Doorstep’ Brings You Inside a Family Tragedy ::BY ROB HULLUM

O

n April 30, 2014, Dontre Hamilton, a 31-year-old paranoid schizophrenic man who was sleeping on a bench in Downtown’s Red Arrow Park, was fatally shot 14 times by officer Christopher Manney. While Manney was fired from the Milwaukee Police Department, no charges were filed.

The ensuing frenzy was felt across the City of Milwaukee, with rallies in the streets and national figures from the burgeoning Black Lives Matter movement coming in from across the country to protest.

At the time, Erik Ljung was living just a mile away from the shooting and working as a freelance videographer. Like most Milwaukeeans, he heard about the incident through the media. He was initially shocked by the seemingly excessive amount of shots fired, and the fact that the officer was initially responding to a non-emergency wellness check.

Where most would have limited their outrage to social media hashtags or, at best, an appearance at a march, Ljung’s first instinct was to approach the family directly. “I had been thinking about reaching out to the family for a while, but it’s intimidating,” Ljung said.

“What business do I have approaching a family in a situation like this?”

He eventually decided to go down to one of the first rallies held by the Hamiltons and intro-

‘The Blood is at the Doorstep’ director Erik Ljung

duce himself. Shortly after meeting the family, included in the film.”

Ljung’s intentions did not mean that there Ljung began consistently coming to rallies with his camera, documenting the growing movement were never times he felt conflicted about the for Dontre. This led to a deeper relationship with story he was telling. The most impactful day the Hamilton family, and him interviewing them for him while filming was when he filmed Dontre’s mother, Maria Hamilton, at the first group in their home and traveling with them.

“In the beginning I wasn’t even trying to make meeting for Mother’s For Justice. The group is a feature-length documentary,” Ljung said. “I comprised of mothers who have lost children to just wanted to bear witness, and try and under- police violence.

“They were talking about such horrific events, stand more in-depth what was going on on the ground level to learn for myself. It just kind of but they were all dressed so nice and were having developed from there and happened naturally. a tea party,” Ljung said. “It was an unexpected scene. I was the only white person in the room Pretty soon we had 500 hours of footage.”

Those hours were, with the help of editor Mi- when the meeting started. On top of that I was chael Vollmann, trimmed to a 90-minute docu- the only man in the room, and I was the only permentary, The Blood Is at the Doorstep, which son who didn’t have a child. There were many will be screened as the centerpiece of this year’s reasons why I would have no idea what it must be like for them. Just listening to their stories, and Milwaukee Film Festival.

“It’s a huge honor,” Ljung said of the distinc- the fact that they allowed me to be there and film tion. “I don’t think a Milwaukee-made film has that, made it one of those days where it was very ever been the centerpiece film of the festival, and humbling to be doing this story.”

This moment, which is among the most powthis is such an important—if I can say that with it being my own film—story to be told here in erful in the film, was one of the hardest for Ljung Milwaukee. It’s very important to put it on the to capture. “After filming a scene like that you big screen and give the community the opportu- don’t go home feeling good about yourself,” he nity to see what happened in a more nuanced and continued. “You don’t think, ‘I got this amazing scene.’ It made me question if I’m doing the right in-depth way.”

While much of the press coverage around thing. Seeing people in that much pain does not make you feel good about stickHamilton’s death revolved ing a camera in front of their around race, in large part due to faces. I really had to question the upswing in video footage of my intentions and where we the deadly interactions unarmed The Blood is at were going with the film.”

African American men have with These difficult moments police officers, Ljung was origithe Doorstep eventually forged a bond benally drawn to the story from a 7 p.m., tween Ljung and the Hamilton mental health perspective.

Friday, Oct. 6 family that has led them to travel “I have a cousin that is diag11 a.m., across the nation together. Since nosed with paranoid schizophreSaturday, Oct. 7 the film premiered in March at nia, the same as Dontre,” he said. the South by Southwest fes“If something like this were to Oriental Theatre tival, they have gone to film happen to my family we would 8:45 p.m., festivals including the Human get the benefit of the doubt.”

Tuesday, Oct. 10 Rights Watch Film Festival in These inequities inspired Times Cinema New York City and an ACLU Ljung to give the Hamilton famscreening in Washington, D.C., ily a platform to tell their story, to promote the film. “I’ve had as well as find the truth in what the opportunity for them to get happened that day. “For me it was very important to let the family speak for to know me on a personal level a little more, inthemselves,” he said. “I tried to editorialize this stead of me just asking questions behind a camas little as possible. We talked to the police chief. era,” Ljung said.

The Blood Is at the Doorstep will be screened We filmed police training. We talked to the police union president. They’re all included in the at 7 p.m. on Friday, Oct. 6 and at 11 a.m. on Satfilm. Manney’s voice is included in the film. We urday, Oct. 7 at the Oriental Theatre, and at 8:45 didn’t do a sit-down interview with him, but he is p.m. on Tuesday, Oct. 10 at the Times Cinema.

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Blade Runner 2049 R The much-admired 1982 cult-classic, Blade Runner, finally gets its sequel. This moody, noirish future-verse thrives on astounding visuals. Harrison Ford returns as Rick Deckard, a “blade runner” (android-hunter), gone missing for some 30 years. Following 90 minutes of character exploration and scene-setting, new blade runner, LAPD Officer “K” (Ryan Gosling), finds and confronts his predecessor to discuss a long-buried secret that could plunge society into chaos. The androids (known as Replicants) serve mankind. They are the creation of wealthy Niander Wallace (Jared Leto) who developed the genetically modified food required to feed us. Clocking in at two-and-a-half hours, the film’s dystopian, thought-provoking story unfolds from a complex narrative that eventually reveals all. (Lisa Miller)

The Mountain Between Us PG-13 When a neurosurgeon (Idris Elba) en-route to perform an urgent surgery and a photo journalist (Kate Winslet) on her way to be married survive a plane crash, the pair set out across a snow-covered mountain range to reach safety. Battling injuries and a hungry mountain lion, the two are surprised to develop an unexpected romantic attraction. Based on a Charles Martin novel, this lovelorn adventure gets style points due to the characterizations created by Elba and Winslet as they explore largely uncharted romantic territory. (L.M.)

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September 29 - October 15, 2017

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Having generated more than $1 billion dollars with its “My Little Pony” toys and a cartoon TV series, these Hasbro characters are loosely modeled on ponies and unicorns who sport jewel-colored manes that curl around their legs and hoofs. The chattering equines live happily in the kingdom of Equestria until Tempest Shadow (voiced by Emily Blunt) conspires to steal the ponies’ magic for herself. This compels Apple Bloom, Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash (to name a few) to run away and befriend pirate parrots who will learn that “friendship is magic.” Originally geared toward little girls, My Little Pony has since acquired both adult female and male fanbases. That’s some magic! (L.M.)

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Hana-bi (Fireworks)

Laconic and sullen as Clint Eastwood, writer-director Takeshi Kitano plays the star cop in his 1997 film Hana-bi. Actually, he’s an ex-cop for most of the award-winning crime drama, which jumps through time with a gymnast’s prowess. Although inspired in part by Hollywood predecessors, Hana-bi moves at its own rhythm with silence and stasis broken by deadly outbursts.

Kitano plays his part as a study in implacable cool.

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The Treasure

The worldwide financial meltdown of 2008 reached even into Romania, where two neighbors embark on a seemingly quixotic treasure hunt guided by a family legend of buried gold from before the Communists seized the country. With The Treasure, director Corneliu Porumboiu fashioned a droll comedy on the human condition. Greed is less a motivator for the kvetching neighbors than necessity—and maybe even breaking the tedium of an everyday life spent in front of screens.

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Churchill

The main selling point for Churchill is the performance by Brian Cox in the title role. He’s down with the scowl, the growling bulldog voice and the combative yet erudite manner of a warrior wordsmith. The slow-going melodrama dramatizes Churchill’s bouts of depression as well as his anxiety over the impending D-Day invasion and his guilt over sending men to die. John Slattery is terrible as Eisenhower, playing him like a CEO from “Mad Men.”

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BY LAW. Limit one admit-two pass per person. Entries must be received by 9:00am CST on 10/9/17. All federal, state and local regulations apply. A recipient of prizes assumes any and all risks related to use of prize, and accepts any restrictions required by prize provider. Focus Features, Allied, and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of prizes. Prizes cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. Not responsible if, for any reason, winner is unable to use their prize in whole or in part. Not responsible for lost, delayed or misdirected entries. All federal, state and local taxes are the responsibility of the winner. This film has been rated PG-13 by the MPAA.

“The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson: Johnny and Friends, The Complete Collection”

Johnny Carson set the template for late-night television to come, as seen in episode after episode of this 28-hour, 10-DVD collection. After warming up the crowd with topical humor about Watergate, the energy crisis and other headlines, his “friends” took their seats on the sofa. This collection features guest comedians including old-timers Don Rickles and Rodney Dangerfield and rising stars Robin Williams, Jerry Seinfeld and his late-night successors, Jay Leno and David Letterman.

—David Luhrssen

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VISUALART|REVIEW

Uplifting, Industrial and Beautiful:

Tom Fruin’s Water Tower

SHEPHERD STAFF

Gentle, Loving, Compassionate Health Care Just for Cats

::BY KAT KNEEVERS

T

here is more shining on the skyline of Walker’s Point these days than just the Allen-Bradley Clock Tower. A new commission for the Coakley Brothers Co. building, just off the roundabout at Fifth and Virginia streets, echoes the changes occurring throughout the neighborhood.

Walker’s Point had its roots as a fur trading post established in 1835 by George H. Walker.

Its character and history have been shaped by its industrial buildings and warehouses, as a place for LGBTQ bars and clubs, and as a home of Latino culture in Milwaukee. It also has a longstanding presence of artists and galleries, like Walker’s Point Center for the Arts, which is celebrating its third decade in the neighborhood.

Coakley Brothers’ building is undergoing a $6 million renovation and as part of this process, Brooklyn-based artist Tom Fruin has created a multicolored, multifaceted water tower to cap the building. This is not the first time Fruin has made one of these pieces, but this example is the largest. A smaller version decorates his studio building, and it was there that Coakley

Brothers President and CEO Peggy Coakley learned of his work; her interest immediate piqued when she saw his water tower while driving by.

As a choice for the area, it speaks to the past and present when water towers were more common features on rooftops. Here, the base has been reclaimed for a project that is luminous, and even fragile in its appearance, like stained glass. Actually, it is quite durable, as it is fabricated of Plexiglass and welded steel.

The 20-foot tall water tower now resting atop the seven-story building is visible from the freeway on the west and Hoan Bridge to the east, especially at night when it is illuminated from within.

Public art pieces can be tricky in terms of how they fit into a certain place or for their aesthetic and iconographical references. What is particularly special about this new example is how well it works, fitting seamlessly as an echo of Walker’s Point’s past, but with a refreshing and even uplifting sense of the present.

Tom Fruin’s Coakley Brothers Watertower is located at 400 S. Fifth St. SHEPHERD EXPRESS

BOOK |PREVIEW

Great Heroes for Children by Author Brad Meltzer ::BY JENNI HERRICK

T

here is no doubt that Brad Meltzer has had a prolific career as a writer. All 10 of his suspense novels, including his first published work, The Tenth Justice, have appeared on The New York Times Best Seller list, and in addition to his fiction, Meltzer is one of few writers who have also had their work appear on bestseller’s lists in non-fiction, advice, children’s stories and comic books.

When he is not busy writing, Meltzer hosts the shows “Decoded” and “Lost History” on the History Channel and H2, and it was on “Lost History” in 2015 that he helped find the missing 9/11 flag that the firefighters raised at Ground Zero. A graduate of Columbia Law School, many of Meltzer’s stories center on government conspiracy and follow powerful characters as they reinterpret American history.

In a very personal attempt to provide his own children with better historical heroes to look up to, Meltzer kicked off the children’s series “Ordinary People Change the World” in 2014 with the illustrated stories of I am Amelia Earhart and I am Abraham Lincoln. This fun, fact-filled biography collection now boasts more than a dozen installments that feature historical figures from Albert Einstein and Helen Keller to Rosa Parks and Jim Henson. Each child-friendly narrative seeks to show young people how they can make a difference and contribute to changing the world for the better.

Meltzer will discuss his newest book in the collection, I am Harriet Tubman, at Books & Company in Oconomowoc at 6:30 p.m. on Thursday, Oct. 5.

BOOK |HAPPENINGS Matthew Janzen

6:30 p.m., Oct. 11 Company Brewing | 735 E. Center St. There are hundreds of craft breweries in Wisconsin, and over the last two years, author and photographer Matthew Janzen collected stories and pictures from more than 130 breweries, farms, factories and industry suppliers across the state. Janzen has recently released a beautiful coffee-table book, State of Craft Beer, that details the eclectic stories behind the people and places who bring Wisconsin some of the nation’s best small-craft breweries. On Oct. 11, Wisconsin Foodie will present the State of Craft Beer book release and beer dinner. Tickets can be purchased in advance at brownpapertickets.com.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

A&E::OFFTHECUFF

A New Gem in the Third Ward OFF THE CUFF WITH CHRYSALIS BOUTIQUE’S CHRIS NOHL

MAGGIE VAUGHN

A&E::BOOKS

Chris Nohl and Shannon Graewin

::BY BRIAN BOYLE

M

arried couple Chris Nohl and Shannon Graewin don’t quite know how to describe themselves. They’re 50% artists, 50% collectors and 100% eccentrics. The former has a background in finance while the latter is a surgeon—though, with the creation of their new business venture and passion project, Chrysalis Boutique, both are well on their way to leaving their day jobs behind. Out of their sixth floor Marshall Building gallery in the Third Ward, the couple sell an extraordinary selection of fine minerals and gemstones, each plucked straight from a fairytale. Seven years after dipping their toes into the wider world of mineralogy, Nohl and Graewin find themselves players in a deep network of specialists.

Off the Cuff interviewed Nohl about their business.

How did you get into collecting fine minerals and gems in the first place?

When I was going to get engaged to Shannon, I wanted to be 100% sure that my engagement stone would be ethically mined…

I went to the Milwaukee public library—I read all the books on geology and mineralogy. Eventually, I found the American Faceters Guild, and I started contacting the highest certified faceters. There were two living Supreme Master Faceters in the world, as certified by the guild. I got ahold of one, and he agreed to be our mentor. We’ve learned everything from him.

How do all these pieces get here? How do you find them?

We get them all over the place. We own two mines: a silicon mine in Wisconsin, and a ruby mine in Madagascar. We have our mining and export licenses in Madagascar. We’ve been doing that since 2010.

Other things we trade with museums, and we trade with other high-end collectors, or we just outright purchase them. We have a network of contacts all over the world with other miners. So as things are discovered, we’ll be shown things. And then you have to make decisions about what the final result will be from what you’re being shown, and maybe say, “This looks like great condition, it could maybe be trimmed here or there, but it looks like it could be a fantastic piece.” And so there’s a little bit of sculpture in it, a little bit of art in it and a little bit of gambling in it. You hope you choose the right piece, and you hope the outcome will be favorable—and it’s not

always favorable. But if you’re right more times than not, you can make some money.

These pieces come from a mine. How do they get from the ground to eventually becoming these beautiful art pieces?

Someone found this deposit near the surface and decided to cut through a whole bunch of granite—in some cases hundreds of miles of granite—to get to a pocket. Big crystals need a space to grow into, and if they don’t have a space to grow into, they won’t form. One of our mentors says crystals are smart, and he’s been mining for 40 or 50 years. Nikola Tesla said, “Crystals have a life, and a life-cycle, we just don’t recognize it.”

Nowadays, we take diamond chainsaws and cut them out painstakingly as others hold [the pieces].

Once the whole find is extracted, we look at pieces and say, “This would be better if trimmed here, or trimmed there, or the orientation is best this way.”

And that might be etched away with an acid. The goal there is to reveal the underlying crystals, not to change their shape or their form.

And when you find the right piece … I think fine minerals will give atheists religion.

Can you explain that?

There’s a lot of debate about intelligent design and evolution and these things. But when you look at what molecules become on their own, the order of it and the beauty of it. We have a couple pieces where there are optical rainbows, and the colors exist in the same order in the same sequence as an actual rainbow, but in a mineral and not from a reflection of light. We know why it happens in light, the wavelength of light getting spread out. But in chemistry?

Why would that happen? Who can explain that? Why would there be a full spectrum of color in chemistry, in a mineral made of all the same molecule? It’s mind-boggling.

So when the order and the geometry arises just out of the chaos of matter, for me, it becomes a transcendent experience when I see the finest examples of that. It makes me feel a respect for the earth, and for creation, and for the universe that I just can’t feel in any other way.

Chrysalis Boutique is located in the Marshall Building, 207 E. Buffalo St., Suite 604. Boutique hours are Thursday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Call 414-455-8520 or email rocks@ chrysaliseboutique.com to make an appointment for another time.

O C T O B E R 5 , 2 0 1 7 | 33

::HEARMEOUT

For more, log onto shepherdexpress.com

ASK RUTHIE | UPCOMING EVENTS | PAUL MASTERSON

::RUTHIE’SSOCALCALENDAR Oct. 4: Pride Movie Night at UWM LGBT Resource Center (2200 E. Kenwood Blvd., Union WG-89): The first Wednesday of the month is movie night at UW-Milwaukee! Join LGBTQ+ students, staff, alumni and supporters for a free showing of Mosquita Y Mari, a special selection of the Sundance Film Festival. The free movie starts at 5 p.m., so don’t be late!

Join us for our LGBT and Allies Wedding Showcase Sunday, October 29 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.

Hilton Milwaukee City Center 509 West Wisconsin Ave Milwaukee, WI 53203 All are welcome.

Free to attend.

RSVPs appreciated at

www.wislgbtweddings.com

LOVE LIFE ENTERTAINMENT ADVICE

Dear Ruthie says, “Hear Me Out! ”

AND FOR EVEN MORE FUN VISIT RUTHIE AND CYNTHIA AT RUTHIE’S BITCHIN KITCHEN.COM

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Let’s Have a Kiki

W

hat’s a “kiki?” It’s a party with your besties, honey! Good music, good friends and lots of laughs are what a good kiki is all about, and Brew Town is full of ’em! Take a look at the list of kikis seen in my social calendar this week, then put on your party panties and paint the town! Before you grab your cha-cha heels, though, check out this message from a self-described party pooper.

Dear Ruthie,

I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety, and I cannot enjoy large get-togethers like other people. My condition is causing some issues between me and my husband. He wants to go to all sorts of events, parties and fundraisers, but I can’t. I’ve tried, but the anxiety is too much.

I don’t know if he really doesn’t understand or if he chooses not to understand. Please help us.

Thanks, Party Pooper Dear Pooper,

Sorry to hear that high anxiety is detouring your road to happily ever after. Two things: Suggest you take separate cars to events. This way you can attend a few more events with your guy, but cut out when the pressure gets to be too much. Secondly, consider couples counseling to discuss this situation before it intensifies. A professional can help your sweetie understand your anxiety issues, and he or she might offer ways the two of you can better cope with the situation.

Oct. 4: Transgender Ally Workshop at Unitarian Church North (13800 N. Port Washington Road, Mequon): Sponsored by the folks at the Unitarian Church and the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center, this educational event addresses transgender-related terminology, issues faced by today’s transgender community, and ways friends and family can support their transgendered loved ones. Doors open at 6 p.m. with the free workshop starting at 6:30.

Oct. 6: Swell: Equinox at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): Local circuit party Swell takes over the rooftop of Hamburger Mary’s for this autumnal event that’s sure to be a night to remember. From fire pits and techno beats to hot boys and drag queen Ariel Versace, this party promises to be one for the books. The $5 door charge gets you a free beverage at the 10 p.m. rave.

Oct. 7: AIDS Walk Wisconsin & 5K Run at Summerfest Grounds (639 E. Summerfest Place): Join honorary chair and funny lady Jane Lynch as she kicks off the 28th year of Wisconsin’s largest HIV fundraising event. Registration opens at 9:30 a.m., and the race begins at 10:15. The opening ceremonies start at noon with the walk’s step off at 12:30 p.m. Visit aidswalkwis.org for everything you need to make the most of this exciting day.

Oct. 7: ‘Let’s Have a KiKi’ Party at D.I.X. Milwaukee (739 S. First St.): KiKi with RuPaul diva Jaymes Mansfield, local favorite Melee McQueen and social media hostess Ariel Versace (again!). Not only will DJ Chomper keep the dance floor on fire, but key lime drink specials are sure to make this 10 p.m. night one to remember.

Oct. 8: U.S. Bank Brady Street Pet Parade at Brady Street (Brady Street and Arlington Place): Grab your four-legged baby and head over to this street fest of a furry kind! From the pet parade and pet blessing to wacky contests and live music, celebrate bark-tober during the 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. outdoor party. Get your tail wagging at eventbrite.com where you’ll sniff out more information. (Search “Brady Street Pet Parade 2017.”)

Oct. 8: Dead or Hide Leather Apocalypse at Kruz (354 E. National Ave.): You won’t regret hitting up this sexy Sunday fun day as the Castaways MC of Milwaukee Levi/leather social group host another of their infamous beer busts. The theme is zombies in leather, and those in costume get five free raffles tickets. The fun starts at 3 p.m.

Oct. 10: Coming Out Monologues at Union Fireside Lounge at UW-Milwaukee Union Alumni Fireside Lounge (2200 E. Kenwood Blvd.): Celebrate National Coming Out Day with stories, slam poetry and songs when UWM students hit the stage to share their coming-out stories. The 6-9 p.m. is free and open to the public.

Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::MYLGBTQPoint of View

National Hispanic Heritage Month: Time to Celebrate our Latin LGBTQ Community ::BY PAUL MASTERSON

D

uring the 2016 presidential election, one candidate launched his campaign by attacking Mexican immigrants, calling them murderers and rapists. He also questioned the impartiality of a judge of Mexican descent. That candidate won the election and has since set a tone. Today, we are witnessing yet another act of malice towards Hispanic people, the American citizens of Puerto Rico, as our government fails to adequately come to their aid in the face of a natural disaster.

We’re now in the middle of Hispanic Heritage Month. It runs until Oct. 15. With Hispanics making up nearly 20% of urban Milwaukee’s population, they also represent a considerable part of our LGBTQ community. Yet, I am unaware of any official celebration of the monthlong event by organizations that one might expect would recognize the value of this particular segment within our cultural diversity. To be fair, UW-Milwaukee’s LGBT Resource Center is cosponsoring a workshop entitled “Latinx: Complicating Identities / Beyond the Gender Binary” as part of the university’s celebration. It takes place on Thursday, Oct. 12, in the Union’s Inclusive Excellence Center (Union 119). And, by coincidence, the Milwaukee Film Festival features a Puerto Rican-Venezuelan-produced lesbianthemed film, Extra Terrestres. But, aside from

those two programs, there’s nothing. It’s not for a lack of people or groups who could participate as speakers, performers or audience. In fact, Milwaukee has a rich LGBTQ Hispanic presence.

Of the nearly 90 units in the Milwaukee Pride Parade, Latinx groups accounted for at least 10% of them, and, with their extravagant floats and costumes, they were certainly the most colorful, energetic and enthusiastic. One of the very few Wisconsin political office holders who identify as LGBTQ is our State Rep. JoCasta Zamarripa. In the arts, there’s award-winning author, poet and activist Carmen Murguía. The Milwaukee Art Museum has several works on view by Cuban-American gay visual artist Felix Gonzalez-Torres. There are also numerous restaurateurs, doctors, lawyers and bankers, among other professionals, many of whom have served on the boards of directors of Milwaukee’s LGBTQ organizations. And of course, we have our Hispanic complement of dancers, athletes and drag queens.

However, recently, at the Fifth Anniversary Celebration of the Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce, I asked its executive director, Jason Rae, how many of the Chamber’s 500 members were Hispanic. He could only name two. Certainly there must be others. But, in a conversation I had with a gay Latino representative of a non-LGBT Chamber corporation, he referred to the negative and “archaic” way his community thinks about its LGBTQs, as an explanation for the absence.

But, even within our community, we are not entirely committed to changing that. In September 2015, when a prominent gay Cuban doctor made a historic visit to the LGBT Community Center and gave a presentation on the state of LGBTQ health in Cuba, some major organizations awkwardly shied away from co-sponsoring the event. They missed an opportunity to develop a more inclusive message.

In the face of the pervading politics of racial division, cultivating cultural inclusion should be a priority of the LGBTQ community. We say our acceptance has come in great part by others getting to know us. We should practice the same.

SEX With STRANGERS

CREAM CITY FOUNDATION

Business Equality quality Luncheon

TO OUR GENEROUS ENEROUS & FABULOUS FA SPONSORS PRESENTING SPONSOR & OUR SCHOLARSHIP SPONSORS:

GOLD SPONSORS

SILVER SPONSORS

CRIVELLO CARLSON, S.C.

CreamCityFoundation.org

BMO Harris Bank, ARCW, Milwaukee Gay Sports Network and Cream City Foundation Ramon & Marstellar Equality Fund.

SEPTEMBER 20 – OCTOBER 15

by Laura Eason

OCTOBER 20 - NOVEMBER 12

by Terrence McNally

WWW.BROADWAYTHEATRECENTER.COM • 414.291.7800 • 158 N BROADWAY • MILWAUKEE’S HISTORIC THIRD WARD SHEPHERD EXPRESS

O C T O B E R 5 , 2 0 1 7 | 35

::MUSIC

For more MUSIC, log onto shepherdexpress.com

FEATURE | ALBUM REVIEWS | CONCERT REVIEWS | LOCAL MUSIC

Wynton Marsalis on Preserving the Sanctity of Jazz ::BY MICHAEL MUCKIAN

cratch a jazz artist and underneath you’ll find solid musical training coupled with an innate sense of improvisation that combines to create the often explosive expression characterizing America’s authentic musical art form. Dig a little deeper and you’ll uncover the rich musical continuum stemming from the origins of jazz to modern day practitioners that keep the musical culture alive.

At least that’s the case with trumpeter Wynton Marsalis, and woe to those who confuse the integrity of jazz with its perceived decline in popularity. “My father [Ellis Marsalis] was a jazz musician, and I learned that things with great value are not always popular,” says Marsalis, recipient of 10 Grammy Awards and the only Pulitzer Prize for Music awarded to a jazz artist. “Things come around in cycles, and you should never discard those things because they decline in popularity.”

These days, Marsalis makes his jazz mark playing and serving as managing and artistic director of the Jazz at Lincoln Center Orchestra—a 15-player ensemble now in its 30th year that revisits the big band sound central to jazz’s legacy. JLCO makes a stop on its current tour on Wednesday, Oct. 11 at Milwaukee’s Marcus Center for the Performing Arts. “We play the entire history of Wynton jazz from all periods until now, with improvisers Marsalis in every position,” says Marsalis. “When I was debating if I wanted to play with a big band or Marcus Center not, it was Dizzy Gillespie who told me that one Wednesday, should never consider it an achievement to Oct. 11, lose one’s orchestral music. That’s what helped 7:30 p.m. me decide.”

JLCO was originally formed with former members of the Duke Ellington Orchestra and Marsalis’ own septet. The orchestra has the largest playable repertoire in jazz today, Marsalis says, performing works by Ellington, Count Basie, Fletcher Henderson, Thelonious Monk and others, as well as commissioning new works from contemporary composers. “It comes down to us to

36 | O C T O B E R 5 , 2 0 1 7

keep the culture alive, and we play so much music that I see it as an evolution of the art form,” Marsalis says. “One of its tendencies says that all jazz is modern, which means what you wrote yesterday is as contemporary as what Jelly Roll Morton wrote.”

As a New Orleans-area native, Wynton Marsalis had access to jazz culture through his pianist father, who played in trumpeter Al Hirt’s orchestra. But the genre didn’t permeate life on the streets as jazz fans often assume, the trumpeter says. “In my neighborhood growing up, people rarely talked about jazz or jazz players, including Louis Armstrong, who was from New Orleans,” Marsalis says.

Nevertheless, Marsalis followed the jazz muse, embracing the trumpet largely because he received a hand-me-down horn from Hirt, “and there was a rule that you played the instrument you were given,” he explains.

Over time, Marsalis rose to the top of the pecking order, giving what other performers describe as a “legitimacy” to jazz that helps it stand up to competition from other musical genres. “Jazz is an art form, and we constantly have to contemplate it, learn from it, be more creative and infuse it with sophistication,” Marsalis says. “We don’t want to move away from it every time the breeze blows in a different direction.”

Two of Marsalis’ 10 Grammys were for recordings of classical compositions by Wolfgang Mozart, Joseph Haydn and others. He sees a lot of crossover between the classical and jazz genres—if not in style then in technique and structure. “Western classical music is part of the foundation of jazz,” he explains. “Both have the sophistication and virtuosity of performance. They also both have development sections in which a theme is stated, taken through different keys and variations and then asks the listener to follow along. But as jazz musicians, we have to swing first,” he adds.

Marsalis takes a more conservative stance when it comes to the evolution of jazz and, in particular, those artists who stray from basic structure and style. The music they play isn’t bad, he admits, but some of it just isn’t jazz.

“When something tries to find its next generation by sacrificing all of its values, then it is no longer itself, and that’s a challenge,” Marsalis says. “If I can be a next generation basketball player by not dribbling, then it certainly would be easier. But it wouldn’t be basketball.”

The Jazz at Lincoln Center Orchestra with Wynton Marsalis performs at the Marcus Center on Wednesday, Oct. 11 at 7:30 p.m.

Wynton Marsalis PHOTO BY CLAY MCBRIDE

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::BY EVAN RYTLEWSKI

T

here’s a track on Racine rapper Rob Hicks’ new EP, Paradise in Hell, so audacious it can’t help but call attention to itself: “Siracha,” an odd (and oddly catchy) tune set to a loopy Mike Regal beat that plays like an old, sun-warped tropicália LP spun on the entirely wrong RPM setting. A fitting playground for Hicks’ speedy, nimble flow, it’s the kind of standout track that a rapper can make a name with.

Hicks isn’t a huge fan of it.

“I don’t really like that track to be honest,” the rapper says. “When I first recorded it and got the mix back, I knew it was going to be the track that a lot of people were going to like. But I just felt like it was missing something.”

It’s not just “Siracha” that doesn’t meet Hicks’ standard. Although Paradise in Hell is an impressive work—a clear labor of love, eight tracks of knotty, modernist hip-hop that recall Kendrick Lamar in both their ambition and their dazzle—Hicks is surprisingly dismissive of it.

“I feel like this whole entire project could have been better,” he says. “I put so much work into it, but I’m really hard on myself when I make music. That’s what keeps me going, just knowing that I could do better. I know that next time I create an album, it’ll be a lot better than this one.”

Hicks isn’t one of those rappers who walks into the studio and rips off an album’s worth of tracks in a few takes. He’s methodical. He studies his own performances, which is why he talks about the EP he’s ostensibly promoting with the cold detachment of a disapproving parent.

“When I listen to myself, I’m listening to be better,” he says.

“I’ll hear something I messed up on, even if nobody else notices. Sometimes I might not pronounce a word correctly, for instance, but the emotion is there, so I’ll keep that take because I know I can’t recapture

MUSIC::LOCAL

that emotion. But I know that next time I’ve got to be more on point with the way I pronounce that word. ” While Hicks himself is critical of Paradise in Hell, the press has been a lot kinder. Hicks has received glowing write-ups from rap websites from around the country, including a few prominent ones like EARMILK. He’s built up enough of a following that it’s probably safe to call him Racine’s most prominent rapper at this point, though he sees that honor as a modest one. He challenges me to name another rapper from Racine. I admit that I can’t.

“There’s really not many household names,” says Hicks, who considers himself as much a part of Milwaukee’s rap scene as Racine’s. “Rappers from Racine, they’ll be hot locally for a year, but then you won’t hear from them after that. I feel like the problem here is that people don’t know how to expand on their music after they’ve uploaded it to SoundCloud. They just keep doing the same thing over and over again, without any progression.

“That’s what I’m trying to break,” Hicks continues.

“I’m trying to be the first artist from here who’s done things. You can’t just release music, you have to take that next step, headlining your own tour and playing at Summerfest and all that stuff—you have to keep getting better and keep getting bigger.”

I tell Hicks he strikes me as a good deal more serious than the average rapper, and he pushes back a bit. He’s laid back, he says, explaining that part of the reason he fits in so well with his peers in the Milwaukee rap scene is he can just kick back and play video games with them.

“I go with the flow a lot,” he insists, “but at the same time, I know what I want to achieve and what I want to accomplish, and I’m far from where I want to be.”

Angel Olsen

Angel Olsen Had Attitude to Spare at the Pabst Theater ::BY EVAN RYTLEWSKI

L

ROB RANDOLPH

Rob Hicks Aims to Transcend Racine’s Rap Scene

Rob Hicks SHEPHERD EXPRESS

KELSEA MCCULLOCH

::CONCERTREVIEW

ast time Angel Olsen swung through town for a headlining show at the Pabst Theater, she didn’t try all that hard. The titanic-voiced singer-songwriter was in between albums, a few months away from releasing her latest, last fall’s My Woman, and she almost seemed to be resting up for the main event. Later that year, she’d be tireless plugging the new record with a formal tour, but, backed by a streamlined three-piece band that night, she wasn’t trying to sell anything. It was about as low-stakes as a concert can get.

If that performance showed how powerful she can be even when she’s phoning it in, Olsen’s return to the Pabst Theater last Sunday night showed what she’s capable of when she puts in a little effort.

She’ll probably never be the kind of live artist who pulls out all the stops—she’s far too casual a performer, and she resists being boxed into any given person on stage—but where her last Milwaukee show was a jeans-and-T-shirt affair, Sunday’s performance had a hint of ceremony to it. Olsen took the stage dressed as if prepared for a glamorous 1960s photo shoot, her colorful ensemble standing out against a five-piece backing band in matching suits and bolo ties. Among that band was full-piped backup singer Heather McEntire, on loan from the night’s openers, Mount Moriah.

If Olsen seemed in a better mood Sunday night than she did last time around—gigglier, more playful, generally awake—perhaps it’s in part because her new songs are such a blast. After a few albums of sorrowful folk and brooding twang, Olsen revealed her full range on My Woman, bouncing between sock-hop serenades, British invasion throwbacks, grungy recriminations and scuzzy, Velvet Undergroundstyle rockers—some delivered with a smile, many more delivered with a scowl or sneer. That made for a mighty dynamic setlist.

She frontloaded the show with her catchiest tunes, including the barbed country number “Hi-Five” and the deliriously fierce “Shut Up Kiss Me,” all slathered with attitude (her poppiest tunes tend to be almost contemptuously sarcastic). She saved the slow-burners for last; even stacking them each one after another didn’t dampen their impact. It would have taken hours before the thrill of hearing a voice that dazzling wore off.

O C T O B E R 5 , 2 0 1 7 | 37

MUSIC::LISTINGS THURSDAY, OCTOBER 5 Amelia's, Jackson Dordel Jazz Quintet (4pm) American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), Bobby Way Angelo's Piano Lounge, Acoustic Guitar Night Cactus Club, TV Girl w/Brother Tiger & Dirty Dancing Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Caitlin Canty w/Eric Heywood Caroline's Jazz Club, On The One Band County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Acoustic Irish Folk w/Barry Dodd Frank's Power Plant, Telethon album release w/Dodgeball Club & Fall Classic Jazz Estate, The Milwaukee Hot Club Mason Street Grill, Mark Thierfelder Jazz Trio (5:30pm) Miller Time Pub, Joe Kadlec Miramar Theatre, Trampa w/Siphonic, KOTA & Kretlow (ages 17-plus, 9pm) O'Donoghues Irish Pub (Elm Grove), The All-Star SUPERband (6pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Brecken Miles Duo (8pm), In the Fire Pit: Shag (8:30pm) Rave / Eagles Club, The Lacs w/Big Smo, Nappy Roots, Demun Jones & Shotgun Shane (all-ages, 8pm), Mushroomhead w/UnSaid Fate, Ventana & Justin Symbol (all-ages, 8pm) Shaker's Cigar Bar, Prof. Pinkerton & the Magnificents Shank Hall, Tristen w/Jenny O The Bay Restaurant, Pat McCurdy The Landing Food & Spirits (St. Francis), Larry Lynne Solo (5:30pm) The Packing House Restaurant, Barbara Stephan & Peter Mac (6pm) Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Martini Jazz Lounge: Tomas Antonic Trio Urban Harvest Brewing Company, Big Hot Robot

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 6 American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), Roger Boll Angelo's Piano Lounge, Piano Night Cactus Club, No No Yeah Okay w/Dashcam Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Karen Johnson Caroline's Jazz Club, Adekola Adedapo & The Paul Spencer Band w/Mike Miller Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Windpipe w/Aluminum Knot Eye (8pm); DJ: Miss LaFontaine & Triplett(10pm) Clarke Hotel (Waukesha), Dick Eliot Jazz Guitar (6pm) Club Garibaldi, Burial Ritual w/Memories Wither, Blood of the Wolf & Reflection Of Flesh Colectivo Coffee On Prospect, The Moth StorySLAM ComedySportz Milwaukee, ComedySportz Milwaukee!

County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Traditional Irish Ceilidh Session Dom & Phil DeMarinis Pizza, Tom Sorce Frank's Power Plant, Six Wives of Richard w/Remod

Harry's Bar & Grill, 5 Card Studs Iron Mike's (Franklin), Jam Session w/Steve Nitros & Friends Jazz Estate, Ray Blue Quartet (7pm), Dramatic Lovers (9:30pm) Jokerz Comedy Club, Shaun Jones Lakefront Brewery Beer Hall, Brewhaus Polka Kings (5:30pm) Linneman's Riverwest Inn, Poet's Monday w/host Timothy Kloss & featured reader Matt Cook (7:30-10:30pm) Mamie's, Stokes & The Old Blues Boys Mason Street Grill, Phil Seed Trio (6pm) Miramar Theatre, Dead Man's Carnival w/Prof. Pinkerton & The Magnificents Pabst Theater, Arlo Guthrie Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Kevin Kennedy is Special K (9pm), In the Fire Pit: Totally Neon (9pm) Potbelly Sandwich Shop (East Side), Texas Dave (noon) Rave / Eagles Club, Maren Morris w/Ryan Hurd (all-ages, 8pm), The Underachievers w/Injury Reserve & Warm Brew (all-ages, 8pm) Riverside Theater, Mischief Live!

Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), Guardians Of The Children Fundraiser: Bella Cain Shank Hall, Henhouse Prowlers Smith Bros. Coffee House (Port Washington), Openmic w/ host August Battles Tally's Tap & Eatery (Waukesha), Rebecca & The Grey Notes The Bay Restaurant, Rick Aaron & The Men in Black Trio The Lakeside Supper Club & Lounge (Oconomowoc), Eddie Butts Band The Packing House Restaurant, Chanel le Meaux & the Dapper Cads Urban Harvest Brewing Company, Hellcat Amazons

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 7 American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), Our House Angelo's Piano Lounge, Piano Night Beach Bar (Twin Lakes), Cactii Cactus Club, Mix-It-Up w/Whips, Siren, B~Free, & Taj Raiden Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Bill Camplin plus or minus Caroline's Jazz Club, The Paul Spencer Band w/James Sodke, Larry Tresp, Andy Spadafora & Neil Davis Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: The Rouge Electrics w/The Zimmer Effect (8pm); DJ: Theresa Who (10pm) Club Garibaldi, LARB Fest ComedySportz Milwaukee, ComedySportz Milwaukee!

Company Brewing, Hear Here Presents: Joseph Huber & Co. Brewing Cue Club of Wisconsin (Waukesha), The Playlist Dugout 54, Derek Byrne & Paddygrass Fox Point Farmers Market, Darele Biswuerra (10am) Frank's Power Plant, Magnetic Minds w/Kessel Runner & RealBadRealFast

Hilton Milwaukee City Center, Vocals & Keys Jazz Estate, Wicked Long Day (8pm), Late Night Session: Devin Drobka Trio (11:30pm) Jokerz Comedy Club, Shaun Jones Kochanski's Concertina Beer Hall, R. Mutt and Innisfree Kuhtz General Store (Oconomowoc), Maple Road Blues Band Linneman's Riverwest Inn, Tower Avenue Band Mamie's, The Last Hurrah: Marvelous Mack (noon), The Incorruptibles (4pm) Mason Street Grill, Jonathan Wade Trio (6pm) Miramar Theatre, Dion Timmer w/Squnto Jeff Alberts & Dad? (ages 17-plus, 9pm) Orchard Inn (Menomonee Falls), The Falcons Pabst Theater, Eddie Izzard Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Chris Schmidt Acoustic Rave / Eagles Club, Atlas Genius w/Flor & Half The Animal (allages, 7:30pm), Cardenales de Nuevo Leon w/Banda Potrillos & Banda Nueva Emperadora (all-ages, 8pm) Reefpoint Brew House (Racine), Joe Kadlec Riverside Theater, John Cleese: Live on Stage Riverwest Public House Cooperative, Sorry Not Sorry - Stand Up Comedy Shank Hall, Tallan Noble Latz "3rd Annual Stevie Ray Vaughan Tribute Show" The Packing House Restaurant, Lem Banks, Jeff Stoll, Alvin Turner & Omar (6:30pm) Urban Harvest Brewing Company, Said & Done: Facing Fears

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 8 Angelo's Piano Lounge, Live Karaoke w/Julie Brandenburg Anodyne Coffee Walker's Point Roastery & Cafe, The Blues for Harvey & Irma Hurricane Benefit: Jonny T-Bird & The MPs, Big Al Dorn & The Blues Howlers, Rev. Raven & The Chain Smokin' Altar Boys & Benny Rickun, Smokey Holman & Andy Spadafora from Tweed Funk, Alex Wilson Band, The Blues Disciples, Jim Liban Combo (4pm) Cactus Club, Ryan Joseph Anderson w/Yahara & Vanity Plates Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: The Narrows w/Nickel and Rose (8pm); DJ: Sheppy (10pm) Iron Mike's (Franklin), Jammin' Jimmy Open Jam (3pm) Kochanski's Concertina Beer Hall, Market Of The Macabre w/ Tigernite & Auf Ki (11am-5pm) Pabst Theater, Mike Gordon Riverside Theater, Steve Martin & Martin Short w/The Steep Canyon Rangers & Jeff Babko Rounding Third Bar and Grill, The Dangerously Strong Comedy Open Mic Shank Hall, Popa Chubby Turner Hall Ballroom, Max Weinberg's Jukebox

MONDAY, OCTOBER 9 Cactus Club, Barwork 5 Presents Fall Children Tour Jazz Estate, Mark Davis Jazz Trio Linneman's Riverwest Inn, Poet's Monday w/host Timothy Kloss & featured reader Jackie Endres (7:30-10:30pm) Mason Street Grill, Joel Burt Duo (5:30pm) Paulie's Pub and Eatery, Open Jam w/Christopher John Up & Under Pub, Marshall McGhee and the Wanderers Open Mic

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 10 C Notes Upscale Sports Lounge, Another Night-Another Mic Open Mic w/Darryl Hill Colectivo Coffee On Prospect, Elliott Brood Frank's Power Plant, Duck and Cover Comedy Open Mic Mamie's, Open Blues Jam w/Stokes Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Miramar Theatre, Tuesday Open Mic w/host Sandy Weisto (sign-up 7:30pm) The Jazz Gallery Center for the Arts, Jazz Jam Session Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Transfer House Band w/Dennis Fermenich Turner Hall Ballroom, I Prevail w/We Came As Romans, The Word Alive & Escape the Fate

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 11 Art Bar, Lia Menaker Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Irish Session Caroline's Jazz Club, Harvey Westmoreland w/Knee Deep Blues Jam Conway's Smokin' Bar & Grill, Open Jam w/Big Wisconsin Johnson Iron Mike's (Franklin), Danny Wendt Open Jam (6pm) Jazz Estate, Perrillo/Fludas/Carroll Trio Kochanski's Concertina Beer Hall, Polka Open Jam Linneman's Riverwest Inn, Acoustic Open Stage w/feature William Seale (sign-up 8:30pm, start 9pm) Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Mezcalero Restaurant, Larry Lynne Trio Pabst Theater, The Simon and Garfunkel Story Paulie's Field Trip, Humpday Jam w/Dave Wacker & Mitch Cooper Potbelly Sandwich Shop (East Side), Texas Dave (noon) Rave / Eagles Club, Marilyn Manson w/Alice Glass (all-ages, 8pm) Shank Hall, An Acoustic Evening with the Trashcan Sinatras Tally's Tap & Eatery (Waukesha), Tomm Lehnigk The Packing House Restaurant, Carmen Nickerson & Kostia Efimov (6pm)

10/5 Joseph Huber 10/12 & 10/19 No 414 Live because of our Fall Membership Drive

38 | O C T O B E R 5 , 2 0 1 7

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All shows at 8 pm unless otherwise indicated Tickets available at Shank Hall Box Office, 866-468-3401, or at ticketweb.com

THURS 10/5

FRI 10/6

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THURS 10/12

STANLEY JORDAN Mrs. Fun

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FRI 10/13

SAT 10/14

LIL’ ED AND THE BLUES IMPERIALS $15

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TUES 10/17

JARED JAMES NICHOLS $12 ADV $15 DOOR

MARTHA WAINWRIGHT $25

A TRIBUTE TO RUSH

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10/18 MARTIN BARRE BAND 10/19 NORA JANE STRUTHERS 10/20 NICK MOSS 10/21 THE STONE FOXES 10/22 The Tangent, Nick Turner’s Hawkwind, Karmakanic 10/23 DEAD BOYS 40TH ANNIVERSARY TOUR 10/26 NRBQ, MILES NIELSEN & THE RUSTED HEARTS 10/27 THE CASH BOX KINGS 10/28 TIM REYNOLDS AND TR3

LAUGHTER IS 70% OFF AT JULY 21-23

get your tickets at theshepstore.com O C T O B E R 5 , 2 0 1 7 | 39

FABRICATION

By James Barrick

THEME CROSSWORD

PSYCHO SUDOKU! “Sum Sudoku”

Put one digit from 1-9 in each square of this Sudoku so that the following three conditions are met: 1) each row, column, and 3x3 box (as marked off by heavy lines in the grid) contains the digits 1-9 exactly one time; 2) no digit is repeated within any of the areas marked off by dotted lines; and 3) the sums of the numbers in each area marked off by dotted lines total the little number given in each of those areas. Now do what I tell you—solve!! psychosudoku@gmail.com 15

11

8

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14 14 7

21

12

7

21

11

3

8

7

9

1

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5

6

6

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7

2

8

9

9

4

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6

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10

6

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9

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8

1

7

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9

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71. Gold, in Granada 72. Bird of prey 73. Scrap 74. — Bianco 75. Regrets 76. Clears 78. Seek favor with: 3 wds.

80. Oil giant 81. Web-search terms 83. Applications 84. Moon of Jupiter 85. Region 86. Book design consideration 88. Portico 89. Golden — 91. The March King 92. Courses of study 96. Region in the south: 2 wds.

98. Wood rabbit 100. Swear word 101. Supernatural 102. Prepares leftovers 103. Bombeck the humorist 104. — ounce 105. Bow 106. Rye fungus 107. Fathomless DOWN 1. Tear 2. Thanks — —!

3. Sch. subj.

4. Some web pages 5. Most rational 6. Kingdom of Cusco people 7. Brook 8. Earthbound creature 9. The Cornhusker State 10. Fig genus 11. Commenced 12. — of passage 13. GMT relative 14. Western tribe

15. Rustles anagram 16. Former British PM 17. Like some beef 18. Ruddy 24. Praying figure 26. Pinot — 29. Cartel of note 32. Causes to sleep 33. Headshot 34. Compass point 35. Funfair treat: 2 wds.

36. Certain runner 37. Groove 38. Water moccasin 39. Take forcefully 40. Maguire the actor 41. Causerie 42. Wise old men 43. Round window 44. Dessert items 47. Exclamations 51. Inordinate 52. — -cousin 53. Places of confusion 54. Organic compound 56. Moulders 57. Japanese bigwig 58. Dollface 60. Earth’s highest region 61. Powerball game 62. Judge’s helper 63. Nest

64. Convy and Kaempfert 65. Ketchup brand 66. Ridge 67. — parker 69. Sidekick to Mary Richards 70. Deals 73. Showed, in a way 74. Handlebar — 75. Disavowed 77. Dark 79. Carmelites 80. Line of intersecting vaults 82. Church calendar 84. No more than: 2 wds.

86. — a deux 87. — Hebrides 88. Struggle: Hyph.

89. White with age 90. — von Bismarck 91. Helot 92. Deer 93. River in Switzerland 94. Frost 95. Insult 96. Infirmary item 97. Hairy creature 99. Poet’s preposition

Solution to last week’s puzzle

7

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9/28 Solution

WORD FIND This is a theme puzzle with the subject stated below. Find the listed words in the grid. (They may run in any direction but always in a straight line. Some letters are used more than once.) Ring each word as you find it and when you have completed the puzzle, there will be 32 letters left over. They spell out the alternative theme of the puzzle.

Familiar Places Solution: 32 Letters

© 2017 Australian Word Games Dist. by Creators Syndicate Inc.

© 2017 United Feature Syndicate, Dist. by Andrews McMeel Syndication

ACROSS 1. NFL players 5. Sea nymph 10. Granges 15. Hitchcock’s “— Window” 19. Jai — 20. Japanese film type 21. Kind of coffee 22. Advantage 23. Old NYC nightspot: 2 wds.

25. Oil type 27. Otherworldly 28. Awaken 30. Safe, as an investment 31. Bulk 32. Decline 33. Collins or Dunphy 34. Meager 36. Source of inspiration 37. Timesaver 41. Appropriate: Hyph.

42. Kapok: 2 wds.

45. Merely passable: Hyph.

46. Shacks 47. Water arum 48. — de visite 49. Clumsy boat 50. Bar mem.

51. Presses 52. Rarity 53. London length 55. More problematic 57. Sicily neighbor 58. Baldachin 59. Stem joints 60. “— Andronicus” 61. Manila’s island 62. The cholla, e.g.

64. Two-wheelers 65. Innkeeper 68. Engage 69. Concrete “skeleton” 70. Skin layer

3

7 9

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9

ACT Alice Springs Arid Art gallery Big Bus Car City Coach Derby Esk Eucla Fun Gundagai

House Kakadu Koalas Kudla Lakes Lord Howe Island Maree Maya Olgas Otago Perth Ports Proserpine

Roma Sea Site Snow Sun Surfers Paradise Sydney Trip Uki Uluru Whales Yass Zoos

40 | O C T O B E R 5 , 2 0 1 7

9/28 Solution: The nesting instinct is strong SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Solution: popular family holiday destinations

Creators Syndicate 737 3rd Street • Hermosa Beach, CA 90254 310-337-7003 • info@creators.com

Date: 10/5/17

::NEWS OF THE WEIRD

::FREEWILLASTROLOGY ::BY ROB BREZSNY LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You’re a good candidate for the following roles: 1. a skeptical optimist who is both discerning and open-minded; 2. a robust truth-teller who specializes in interesting truths; 3. a charming extremist who’s capable of solving stubborn riddles; 4. a smooth operator who keeps everyone calm even as you initiate big changes; 5. an enlightened game-player who reforms or avoids games that abuse beauty’s power.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Actress and author Carrie Fisher wrote three autobiographies. Speed skating Olympics star Apolo Anton Ono published his autobiography at age 20.

The rascal occultist Aleister Crowley produced an “autohagiography.”To understand that odd term, keep in mind that “hagiography” is an account of the life of a saint, so adding “auto” means it’s the biography of a saint penned by the saint himself. I’m bringing up these fun facts in hope of encouraging you to ruminate at length on your life story. If you don’t have time to write a whole book, please take a few hours to remember in detail the gloriously twisty path you have trod from birth until now. According to my reading of the astrological omens, the best way to heal what needs to be healed is to steep yourself in a detailed meditation on the history of your mysterious destiny.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If you go to the Historical Museum of the Palatinate in Germany, you will see a jug of wine that was bottled in 1687. In accordance with astrological omens, Sagittarius, I suggest that you find a metaphorical version of this vintage beverage—and then metaphorically drink it! In my opinion, it’s time for you to partake of a pleasure that has been patiently waiting for you to enjoy it. The moment is ripe for you to try an experience you’ve postponed, to call in favors that have been owed to you, to finally do fun things you’ve been saving for the right occasion.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): If a latenight TV talk show called and asked me to be a guest, I’d say no. If People magazine wanted to do a story on me, I’d decline. What good is fame like that? It might briefly puff up my ego, but it wouldn’t enhance my ability to create useful oracles for you. The notoriety that would come my way might even distract me from doing what I love to do. So, I prefer to remain an anonymous celebrity, as I am now, addressing your deep self with my deep self.

My messages are more valuable to you if I remain an enigmatic ally instead of just another cartoony media personality. By the way, I suspect you’ll soon face a comparable question. Your choice will be between what’s flashy and what’s authentic: between feeding your ego and feeding your soul.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A Canadian guy named Harold Hackett likes to put messages in bottles that he throws out into the Atlantic Ocean from his home on Prince Edward Island. Since he started in 1996, he has dispatched over 5,000 missives into the unknown, asking the strangers who might find them to write back to him. To his delight, he has received more than 3,000 responses from as far away as Russia, Scotland and Africa. I suspect that if you launch a comparable mission sometime soon, Aquarius, your success rate wouldn’t be quite that high, but still good. What long-range inquiries or invitations might you send out in the direction of the frontier?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Intensify” is one of your words of power these days.

So are “fortify,” “reinforce” and “buttress.”

Anything you do to intensify your devotion and focus will be rewarded by an intensification of life’s gifts to you. As you take steps to fortify your sense of security and stability, you will activate dormant reserves of resilience. If you reinforce your connections with reliable allies, you will set in motion forces that will ultimately bring you help you didn’t even know you needed. If you buttress the bridge that links your past and future, you will ensure that your old way of making magic will energize your new way.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You wouldn’t expect a 5-year-old child to paint a facsimile of Pablo Picasso’s Guernica or sing Giacomo Puccini’s opera, La bohème. Similarly, you shouldn’t fault your companions and yourself for not being perfect masters of the art of intimate relationships.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

In fact, most of us are amateurs. We may have taken countless classes in math, science, literature and history, but have never had a single lesson from teachers whose area of expertise is the hard work required to create a healthy partnership. I mention this, Aries, because the next seven weeks will be an excellent time for you to remedy this deficiency. Homework assignments: What can you do to build your emotional intelligence? How can you learn more about the art of creating vigorous togetherness?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In accordance with the astrological omens, I invite you to slow down and create a wealth of spacious serenity. Use an unhurried step-by-step approach to soothe yourself. With a glint in your eye and a lilt in your voice, say sweet things to yourself. In a spirit of play and amusement, pet and pamper yourself as you would a beloved animal. Can you handle that much self-love, Taurus? I think you can. It’s high time for you to be a genius of relaxation, attending tenderly to all the little details that make you feel at ease and in love with the world.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “If an angel were to tell us something of his philosophies, I do believe some of his propositions would sound like 2 x 2 = 13.” So said the German scientist Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742-1799). Now maybe you don’t believe in the existence of angels, and so you imagine his idea doesn’t apply to you. But I’m here to tell you that an influence equivalent to an angel will soon appear in your vicinity. Maybe it’ll be a numinous figure in your dreams, or a charismatic person you admire, or a vivid memory resurrected in an unexpected form, or a bright fantasy springing to life. And that “angel” will present a proposition that sounds like 2 x 2 = 13.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Unless you have an off-road vehicle, you can’t drive directly from North America to South America. The Pan-American Highway stretches from Prudhoe Bay in northern Alaska to Ushuaia, Argentina—a distance of about 19,000 miles—except for a 100-mile patch of swampy rainforest in Panama.

I’d like to call your attention to a comparable break in continuity that affects your own inner terrain, Cancerian—a grey area where two important areas of your life remain unlinked. The coming weeks will be a favorable time to close the gap.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Based in Korea, Samsung is a world leader in selling smartphones and other information technology.

But it didn’t start out that way. In its original form, back in 1938, it primarily sold noodles and dried fish.

By 1954, it had expanded into wool manufacturing.

More than three decades after its launch as a company, it further diversified, adding electronics to its repertoire. According to my reading of the astrological omens, the next 10 months should be an excellent time for you to do the equivalent of branching out from noodles and dried fish to electronics. And the coming six weeks will be quite favorable for formulating your plans and planting your seeds.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In my opinion, you’re not quite ready to launch full-tilt into the rebuilding phase. You still have a bit more work to do on tearing down the old stuff that’s in the way of where the new stuff will go. So, I recommend that you put an “Under Construction” sign outside your door, preferably with flashing yellow lights.

This should provide you with protection from those who don’t understand the complexity of the process you’re engaged in.

Homework: Want to enjoy my books, music and videos without spending any money? http://bit.ly/ LiberatedGifts.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

::BY THE EDITORS OF ANDREWS MCMEEL

Mother of All Crimes

E

bony Woody, 34, of Columbus, Ohio, was nothing if not thorough on the morning of Sept. 18 when, following an argument with her daughter, she purposely drove her car onto the sidewalk and struck the 17-year-old as she walked to school, according to Columbus police. After knocking the girl down and running over her leg, Woody stopped and backed up, driving over her daughter’s leg a second time. QFM96 reported Woody generously gave the girl a ride to her father’s house, where she dropped her off without reporting the incident. Woody later turned herself in at police headquarters and faces charges of felonious assault, aggravated vehicular assault and endangering children. The daughter was treated for two fractures to her left leg.

Getting Your Goat Auburn, Mass., police received a number of calls over the period Sept. 15-17 about a wayward goat, but it wasn’t until the wee hours of Monday, Sept. 18, that “Goat No. 448” was finally corralled at the La Quinta Inn in Auburn, as reported by CBS Boston. The “mischievous runaway farm animal” was seen on surveillance video entering the lobby of the hotel and wandering the halls, “presumably to rest a bit,” said police. Peter Blash, 448’s owner, said the goat jumped a 5-foot-high fence and “took off like a criminal.” However, Blash said, “I once had one that made it all the way to Sturbridge.”

Sock the Lizard!

A family in Coventry, England, was reportedly “quite mortified” when they called the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals last month to come and rescue a lizard peeking from underneath a bed in their home. But, when Officer Vic Hurr arrived at the home, she discovered the animal was “not a lizard at all; it was a pink stripy sock.” The sock/lizard, about seven inches long and two inches wide, wasn’t moving, Hurr noted. “The sock had obviously been there quite a while. It was a typical teenager’s bedroom, I suppose.”

Hey Kids, Watch This!

Coolidge, Ariz., resident Victor Pratt boasts that he’s played with snakes his whole life.

So, when a rattlesnake slithered by during a family party at a nearby lake on Sept. 7, Pratt grabbed the viper and showed the kids “how to catch it, and I was playing with it like little kids do. I wasn’t thinking. I was showing off,” he admitted to FOX 10 News. The rattler apparently didn’t want to play along and bit Pratt on his face and neck. Pratt’s sons quickly drove him to a nearby emergency room, and he was later airlifted to Banner University Medical Center in Phoenix, where Dr. Steven Curry treated him. “There is a 100% chance he would have died if he’d not made it to the hospital within minutes,” Curry noted. Pratt remained unconscious for several days.

Filthy Lucre Prosecutors in Geneva, Switzerland, are looking for the culprits who flushed about $100,000 in 500 Euro notes down four toilets in the city in May—one was in the vault area of the UBS Bank and the other three in nearby bistros. While neither throwing money away nor blocking a toilet is a crime, Vincent Derouand of the Geneva Prosecutor’s Office told the Tribune de Genève, “We want to be sure of the origin of the money.” The cash was confiscated during the investigation.

Driving While 8 Kevin Cook, 24, of New Castle, Pa., was too drunk to drive on Sept. 3, so he enlisted the help of an 8-year-old girl. WPXI News reports the girl told Darlington Township Police that Cook, a family friend, ordered her into a car at her grandmother’s house and forced her to drive him toward East Palestine, Ohio.

The car stopped after nearly wrecking twice, as bystanders called 911. Police tried to give Cook a sobriety test, but he was too impaired to finish it. He was charged with endangering the welfare of a child, driving under the influence and driving without a license.

Body of Evidence The Greene County, Tenn., sheriff’s department has been alerting drivers along Chuckey Pike on Sept. 20 not to be alarmed by a body that appeared to have been crushed by a house’s garage door. “THIS IS A HALLOWEEN DECORATION!” the department’s Facebook page warns. “Do NOT call 911 reporting a dead body.” Officers had rushed to the scene with sirens blaring after a caller reported the body, but then discovered the clever (but really early) holiday tableau. © 2017 Andrews McMeel Syndication

O C T O B E R 5 , 2 0 1 7 | 41

THEBACK::ARTFORART’SSAKE

God’s Footstool ::BY ART KUMBALEK

I

’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, just got the news that the great Tom Petty is now learning to fly with angel wings at the same exact age as a certain gab-about who more than likely shows up on this back page of the Shepherd. I better sit back and relax, what the fock.

But first, I need to get ahold of O.J. now that he’s sprung from the hoosegow so’s that maybe he can help me find the Milwaukee lion that no one has discovered yet. I’ve heard he’s supposed to be good at that kind of thing, I kid you not.

And speaking of discovery, I found out that Columbus Day falls on Monday, Oct. 9 this year. Cripes, that day always gets moved around like it’s an Easter Sunday or something. I do enjoy the day, however, for the simple fact that I cannot receive any goddamn overdue bills in the mail, which then forces me to piss away a lot of time concocting the excuses for why I still can’t come up with the dough.

I also recently discovered that sanity in a state government is still possible in this day and rage. This, from Salon: â€œâ€Śthe Republican governor of Illinois, Bruce Rauner, just made a startling move in bucking the religious right. Thursday, Rauner signed a law written by Democratic legislators that allows the state’s

insurance programs, including Medicaid, to cover abortion. It also ended the state’s ‘trigger law,’ which would have banned abortion if Roe v. Wade were ever overturned by the Supreme Court.�

Praise be. This kind of reminds me of a plank of my speech that I was ready to deliver at the 2016 Democratic National Convention in Phila-focking-delphia except I wasn’t invited. My speech was to go something like this: “About this right-to-life argument that goes: ‘How can we do the condoning of abortion? Block the pregnancy from going the whole nine yards, and how do you know you aren’t denying the world the next Albert Einstein, the next Duke Snider, the next Clarence Birdseye?’ To that I say, what the fock. For argument’s sake, with the abortion, how do you know we’re not sparing the world the next Ivan the Terrible, the next Charlie focking Manson, the next Ryan Seacrest?

“And another thing everybody’s yelling about is the pinpoint time of when life gets out of the gates. Is it one month pregnant or three? After six weeks or two, or right off the bat at the conception reception? Just where the heck’s this line of the marcation anyways, ain’a? “To argue right-to-life, you’d have to say ‘life’ begins even before the inception of the act of the womb inflation. It begins soon’s you get the nerve up at the cocktail lounge and say, ‘Howdy, good-looking, you come here often or would you rather come over by my place?’ If this member of a sex suggests a long walk off a short gangplank, I’d say we’d have a right-to-life violation. “And think of the ramification of a right-to-life law here in our land of liberty. Any focking thing that would interfere or otherwise kibosh the mating ordeal of bodies together that would climax with life creation

would be against that law. The word ‘no’ would be unlawful. There could be no more bar-time closings (in every cloud‌). No contraceptives of any kind, including cold showers. Headaches—outlawed. “Cripes, I can hear lawyers drooling even as I speak. A right-to-life law would increase their already legendary right-to-lucre. There’d have to be a courthouse on every block. Not doing the mating when called upon would be, judicially, murder; and murderers are capitally punished to death. Are you going to want to fry in the chair just for being too focking tired?

I think not. Every man, woman and child who turned down the hootchie-cootchie would be cruising death row, and what kind of right-to-life would that be? “Each and every one of us Americans would end up executed at some point in time. There’d be none of us left, and that’s just the kind of opening the world’s remaining Commies are looking for to march right in and set up their Red-herring shop here from sea to shining sea. “In conclusion, about this pro-choice vs. no-choice: We got a focking law in this land to cover that subject.

The law says something sort of like a ‘lady’s right to control the destiny of her own focking body, hey, focking A-OK.’ And that’s still backed up by the Supreme Court, as in the United States Supreme Court, Jack. “So if these focking Bible-belting bozos and their ilk got a bug up their beatific butts about that, they’re welcome to leave the Amber Waves and go live in some focking country of women-hating religious nuts who put the woman on par with the dirt de la chattel of no-rights—and they’ll have a hundred-times more choice than they’re willing to allow their own fellow citizens. What the fock, I’ll even make travel arrangements courtesy of President Art Kumbalek, ’cause I’m, Art Kumbalek and I told you so.�

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